A  ROMANCE 

OF  TWO 
CENTURIES 


KENNETH  SYLVAN 
GUTHRIE 


DUKE  UNIVERSITY 


LIBRARY 


The  Glenn  Negley  Collection 
of  Utopian  Literature 


Digitized  by  tine  Internet  Arciiive 
in  2010  witii  funding  from 
DuWe  University  Libraries 


littp://www.arcliive.org/details/romanceoftwocentOOgutli 


A  ROMANCE 
Of  Two  Centuries 

A  Tale  of  the  Year  2025 


Kenneth  Sylvan   Guthrie 


THE    PLATONIST    PRESS 

BOX  42,  ALPINE,  NJ.,  U.S.A. 


Copyright,  1919,  by  Kenneth  Sylvan  Guthrie, 

Copyright  in  Great  Britain  and  British  Dependencies 
and  Canada. 

Entered  at  Stationers'  Hall. 

All  Rights,  including  that  of  Translation,  Reserved, 


A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 


EPISODES 


CHAPTER  PAGE 

I.     A  Romance  of  Two  Continents  .        .  5 

11.     North  America  of  the  Future    .        .  77 

III.  South  America  of  the  Future    .        .  187 

IV.  The  Coming  World-Capital        .        .  253 
V.     Destinies  of  Europe  and  New  York  .  320 


A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 


INDEX 


EPISODE    FIRST 

A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CONTINENTS 


CHAPTER 

PAGE 

I. 

My  Misfortune      .... 

5 

II. 

A  Platonic  Union 

10 

III. 

My  Reanimation    .... 

15 

IV. 

Garments  of  the  Period 

20 

V. 

Household  Reform 

24 

VI. 

A  Romance  of  Two  Continents  . 

29 

VII. 

Standard  Oil  Methods  . 

37 

VIII. 

An  Unexpected  Farewell 

45 

IX. 

Medicine  and  Outfits    . 

53 

X. 

Dwelling  and  Garden  . 

61 

XL 

Public  Roads          .... 

68 

EPISODE    SECOND 

NORTH  AMERICA  OF  THE  FUTURE 

CHAPTER  PAGE 

XII.     The  Modern  City 17 

XIII.     Reflections  on  Names,  Banks,  Churches 

and  Holidays        ...  .92 


CHAPTER 

XIV.     The  Local  Weekly  Ward-Meeting 
^^'hy  Christianity  Survives  . 
Christian  Service   .... 
Matrimonial  School 
Legal  Administration    . 


XV 

XVI 

XVII 

XVIII 


XX. 
XXI. 

xxn. 

XXIIL 
XXIV. 


The  International  Language 
Farming  Reform   . 
School  Teaching  Reform 
Ocean  Voyage  Reform 
Intermarriages  and  Missions 


EPISODE    FOURTH 

THE  COMING  WORLD-CAPITAL 


CHAPTER 

XXV.     Future  Travel  and  Wayside  Inns 
The  Doom  of  the  White  Race  . 
Asia  Geographized 
The  World-Capital,  Concordia   . 
The  World  Hall  of  Fame  . 


XXVI. 

XXVH. 

XXVIH. 

XXIX. 


PAGE 
119 

140 
154 
162 
172 


EPISODE   THIRD 

SOUTH  AMERICA  OF  THE  FUTURE 

CHAPTER 

XIX.     Flight 


PAGE 

187 
195 
206 
221 
232 
246 


PAGE 

253 
266 
276 
290 
308 


LAST    EPISODE 

DESTINIES  OF  EUROPE  AND  NEW  YORK 


CHAPTER 

XXX.     Europe  Geographized   . 
XXXI.     New  York  of  the  Future 
XXXII.     The  Conquest  of  Time 


PAGE 

320 
332 
353 


APPENDIX 


A    ROMANCE    OF   TWO 
CENTURIES 


CHAPTER  I 
MY  MISFORTUNE 

Although  I  could  have  demonstrated  practically  no 
results  in  an  educational  examination,  I  had  during  my 
youthful  European  migrations  gathered  an  enormous 
amount  of  miscellaneous  information ;  and  as  soon  as 
I  went  to  a  country  college  where  scope  was  given 
to  my  pent-up  energies,  I  forged  ahead  at  an  extra- 
ordinary rate.  I  worked  night  and  day,  winter  and 
summer,  until  I  was  ordered  deacon  at  twenty-one 
years  of  age,  and  priest  at  twenty-four.  This  was  an 
eventful  occasion,  for  it  was  also  the  birth-day  of  my 
little  son,  one  year  after  that  of  a  little  girl,  for  I  had 
married  the  daughter  of  a  judge,  the  warden  of  the 
church  where  I  was  assistant. 

When  the  war  broke  out,  I  volunteered  as  chaplain. 
After  some  preliminary  training,  I  sailed  on  a  ship  from 
Hoboken.  Before  enlisting,  I  had  enjoyed  keen  indi- 
vidualistic sensations,  which  are  the  curse  of  most 
young  clergymen ;  but  I  soon  learned  the  meaning  of 
the  "communion  of  saints,"  the  inspiration  of  being  one 
of  a  great  number,  all  vowed  to  the  same  cause.  This 
crowd-enthusiasm  is  the  mother  of  illusions;  and  after 
the  singing  of  large  choruses,  and  the  wild  hurrahs  of 
thousands,  it  did  not  seem  possible  that  we  should  fail 
of  an  immediate  march  on  Berlin. 

5 


6         A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

In  spite  of  many  submarine  scares,  we  were  all  landed 
"somewhere  in  France,"  and  directed  to  a  training 
camp  in  a  picturesque  village.  Not  till  then  did  our 
individualities  emerge ;  and  overworked  though  we 
were,  we  began  to  appreciate  our  "chums"  and  "pals." 
Then  unexpectedly  we  were  entrained  for  the  front, 
cramped  in  cattle  cars,  for  forty-eight  hours,  under- 
going enough  discouragement  to  dull  our  minds  to 
the  object  of  our  journey.  I  then  realized  that  a  man's 
value  is  not  so  much  what  he  can  do  under  ideal  con- 
ditions, but  under  stress.  We  were  dumped  out  in  the 
rain,  twenty  miles  from  our  destination.  We  swallowed 
some  hot  coffee,  and  what  was  meant  for  bread,  and 
started  on  our  way,  keeping  to  the  right,  while  a  train 
of  wounded  heroes,  prisoners,  and  relieved  regiments 
were  streaming  by  on  the  other  side.  At  a  small  village 
we  were  halted  and  sent  off  in  another  direction.  No 
sooner  had  we  started  than  a  shell  fell  among  us,  and 
I  was  wounded  in  my  arm.  I  was  directed  back  to  the 
camp  hospital,  much  against  my  will.  What  a  fate  that 
was,  to  take  that  long  trip,  merely  to  be  returned  to 
inactivity !  Though  ready  enough  to  dispense  the  con- 
solations of  religion  to  others,  I  had  not  had  much 
experience  in  applying  them  to  myself. 

My  nurse  was  a  Mrs.  Parker,  whom  we  understood 
to  be  a  widow.  To  me  she  was  very  kind;  indeed,  so 
particularly,  that  I  asked  the  reason.  She  informed  me 
that  I  resembled  one  of  her  sons  who  had  but  lately 
passed  on,  while  bravely  "carrying  on"  for  his  country, 
and  the  world's  liberty.  That  was  why  she  too,  now 
being  alone  in  the  world,  had  enlisted  in  the  Red  Cross. 
She  had  remained  young  by  keeping  in  touch  with  her 
boys,  and  their  interests.  She  was  chummy  with  all  of 
us,  though  her  middle  age  lent  her  a  trace  of  mother- 
liness.  Only  they  who  have  spent  interminable  nights 
in  hospitals  can  imagine  the  wild  thoughts  that  visit 
the  brains  of  sufferers ;  and  so  at  times  I  wondered  how 


MY  MISFORTUNE  7 

I  could  keep  up  the  acquaintance  after  I  should  be 
cured,  and  sent  back  to  the  firing  line,  if  not  invalided 
home.  Such  were  my  anxieties,  though  they  proved 
very  unnecessary ;  for  fate  had  a  very  definite  arrange- 
ment in  view. 

This  began  by  her  going  on  leave  to  Paris  on  busi- 
ness. That  very  night,  hell  broke  loose.  Without  any 
warning  artillery  preparation,  the  Germans  made  a 
sudden  raid  in  force,  which  indeed  was  soon  repulsed; 
but  only  after  they  had  wreaked  their  diabolical  will. 
The  Red  Cross  flags  and  signs  which  would  have  pro- 
tected us  from  any  civilized  beings,  were  a  special  in- 
vitation to  the  apostles  of  Kultur,  whose  object  was 
not  merely  to  kill  off  as  many  human  beings  as  possible, 
but  to  embarrass  the  living  afterward.  When  we 
divined  what  was  on  foot,  those  who  were  well  enough 
attempted  some  resistance.  Those  were  immediately 
slaughtered.  The  head  nurse  implored  the  brusque 
"^liauptmann"  to  spare  the  patients,  but  he  laughed 
satanically,  and  barked  sharp,  guttural  commands. 
Some  of  their  staff  orderlies  then  systematically  injected 
the  patients  with  cultures  from  flasks  they  had  brought. 
The  nurses,  themselves  brave  while  being  outraged, 
grew  pale  on  observing  the  proceedings.  When  the 
patients  were  all  inoculated,  the  officer  made  a  wide, 
sweeping,  mocking  bow,  assuring  us  that  we  would  all 
soon  be  cured,  and  left,  guffawing  uproariously.  I  then 
remembered  that  injecting  diseases  had  been  a  Teutonic 
specialty  ever  since  Napoleon's  son  was  destroyed  by 
tuberculosis. 

Despair  was  the  portion  of  the  patients,  who  did  not 
know  what  grim,  incurable  torture  was  invisibly  hover- 
ing over  their  pillows.  As  to  me,  my  fate  was  a  merci- 
ful one,  for  I  merely  fell  asleep,  in  the  sweetest  stupor 
I  had  ever  enjoyed,  —  it  was,  as  I  later  discovered,  the 
African  sleeping  sickness. 

V/hen  the  nurses  who  had  been  to  Paris  on  furlough 


8         A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

returned,  they  of  course  did  their  utmost  to  save  the 
infected  men ;  mostly  in  vain,  however.  The  Huns  had 
not  used  the  common  camp  infections  that  would  have 
been  neutralized  by  the  generally  accessible  combined 
anti-serums,  but  hopeless  maladies,  such  as  cancer,  beri- 
beri, elephantiasis  and  leprosy.  Killed  the  patients 
could  have  been ;  but  after  all  that  would  have  relieved 
the  Allies  from  further  anxieties  about  them ;  dead  men 
eat  no  food.  The  Germans,  themselves  hindered  by  no 
scruples,  capitalized  their  opponents'  virtues.  That  is 
indeed  why  the  Germans  started  the  war.  They  knew 
that  even  in  the  event  of  their  own  failure  the  stupidly 
philanthropic  English  would  never  hurt  them ;  they  had 
all  to  gain,  and  nothing  to  lose.  So,  although  Cardinal 
Hartmann  of  Cologne,  through  the  mediation  of  the 
Pope,  successfully  claimed  a  respite  from  aerial  bom- 
bardment for  his  own  local  Corpus  Christi  procession, 
the  Hun  long-distance  Big  Berthas  in  1918  began  their 
bombardments  of  Paris  on  Good  Friday,  and  Corpus 
Christi,  first  hitting  the  churches. 

The  event  proved  they  were  right;  for  the  Allied 
military  authorities,  instead  of  considering  their  own 
material  advantage  in  ridding  themselves  of  us  by  some 
euthanasia,  caused  our  removal  to  distant  camps  and 
colonies  where  we  would  be  assured  of  peace  in  which 
to  drag  out  our  destinies  of  torture  with  such  anaesthetic 
alleviation  as  could  be  spared. 

When  my  own  case  was  finally  certified  as  one  of 
the  African  sleeping  sickness,  my  nurse,  Mrs.  Parker, 
decided  to  adopt  me.  She  was  revealed  as  the  widow 
of  the  millionaire  Nevada  senator,  and  had  me  removed 
to  her  palatial  Reno  home,  in  whose  quiet  rooms  I  lay 
for  many  months  hovering  on  the  confines  of  slumber- 
land.  What  medical  attention  was  there  available,  was 
lavished  on  me ;  but  my  spells  of  somnolence  length- 
ened progressively,  while  my  shortened  vision  of  Mrs. 
Parker's  kindly  countenance  became  more  and  more 


MY  MISFORTUNE  9 

distorted  by  my  soul's  travels  into  the  ghastly  caverns 
of  disordered  fancy.  I  remember  that  in  my  healthy 
and  vigorous  youth  I  had  often  made  light  of  hell  and 
its  horrors  as  a  bugaboo  profitable  to  preachers;  but  if 
any  scoiTer  was  ever  paid  back  in  his  own  coin  it  was  I ! 
While  most  opium  or  hashish  slaves'  vagabondage  in 
limbo-land  is  limited  to  temporary  sprees,  from  which 
natural  recovery  mercifully  recalls  them  to  the  sanities 
of  terrestrial  existence,  my  excursions  were  progressive. 
Each  time  my  soul  slipped  back  into  Tartarus  it  swished 
outwards  with  a  more  parabolic  sweep  into  nonentity, 
and  with  less  and  less  expectation  or  desire  of  ever 
returning. 


CHAPTER  II 
A  PLATONIC  UNION 

While  my  soul  was  agiiated  by  such  nightmares,  my 
body,  it  seems,  was  quietly  sleeping  in  an  alcove  at 
Reno.  Around  it,  however,  a  whole  drama  was  develop- 
ing. In  spite  of  the  best  medical  advice,  my  intervals 
of  lucidity  became  shorter  and  more  vapid,  and  finally 
entirely  elusive.  The  servants  in  the  house  took  it  for 
granted  I  would  never  wake  up;  and  none  but  Mrs. 
Parker's  most  intimate  friends  dared  mention  me  to 
her.  With  time  the  public  created  the  legend  that  I 
was  one  of  her  sons,  which  would  account  for  her  deter- 
mination to  save  me  so  long  as  the  least  breath  of  life 
lingered  in  my  body. 

In  truth,  however,  apart  from  her  maternal  instinct, 
her  feelings  were  little  more  praiseworthy  than  a  cer- 
tain amount  of  obstinacy.  Rich  people  often  resent 
interference  and  publicity;  and  when  the  latter  died 
down  somewhat,  the  former  arose  on  the  part  of  her 
scapegrace  nephew,  who,  having  because  of  youth  just 
escaped  the  draft  in  the  world-war  for  liberty,  had  not 
undertaken  to  make  his  living  in  a  serious  manner,  as 
he  depended  on  his  expectations  of  succession  to  the 
Parker  estate.  Several  times  he  had  gotten  into  scrapes 
from  which  his  aunt's  lawyers  had  been  instructed  to 
extricate  him.  He  then  came  to  look  on  these  evasions 
of  the  results  of  his  actions  as  his  right ;  and  when  she 


MY  MISFORTUNE  11 

finally  flatly  refused  to  release  him  from  a  most  dis- 
honorable gambling  "debt  of  honor,"  he  considered 
himself  very  much  ill-used.  Compelled  to  drink  to  the 
dregs  the  cup  of  his  disgrace,  he  grew  resentful,  deter- 
mining on  reprisals  by  arousing  public  condemnation 
of  her  solicitude  for  the  sleeper,  and  compelling  her  to 
support  him, — which  would  have  involved  abandonment 
of  my  corporeal  relict.  Although  no  one  had  any  reason 
to  anticipate  the  eventual  disposition  of  her  wealth,  this 
nephew  must  have  intuitionally  divined  it,  for  he 
blocked  it  as  effectually  as  lay  in  his  power. 

When  remonstrances  became  not  merely  useless,  but 
even  impossible,  he  appealed  to  the  law,  causing  the 
appointment  of  a  lunacy  commission  to  deprive  her 
of  the  management  of  her  estate.  Rival  insanity  experts 
were  engaged,  and  victory  remained  with  Mrs.  Parker, 
because  the  nephew's  slender  resources  were  exhausted 
in  his  experts'  fees,  and  therefore  these  eminent  prac- 
titioners executed  a  sudden  acrobatic  volte-face  to  the 
side  of  the  greatest  number  of  millions.  From  that  time 
on,  the  aunt  became  adamant.  She  would  no  longer 
even  converse  with  him ;  and  having  no  other  surviving 
relative,  she  decided  on  what  he  had  done  every  possible 
and  even  impossible  thing  to  avoid :  namely,  to  devote 
all  of  her  substance  to  my  eventual  recovery. 

However,  this  legal  controversy  was  not  without  a 
momentous  effect,  for  it  made  public  property  the  most 
intimate  secret  to  which  I  owe  my  eventual  preserva- 
tion. While  my  body  was  sleeping,  it  was  gradually 
aging.  On  enlisting,  I  was  barely  twenty-four  years  of 
age.  I  had  lain  three  years  in  this  semi-comatose  con- 
dition when  in  the  course  of  one  of  these  consultations 
of  medical  experts  Mrs.  Parker  faced  the  problem  of 
my  growing  older.  A  three  years'  growth  of  beard 
had  changed  my  facial  expression,  and  she  realized  that 
these  changes  must  continue,  and  increase;  that  pos- 
sibly, when  I  should  wake,  the  best  years  of  my  life 


12        A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

would  have  fled,  and  that  she  might  have  preserved 
me  only  for  the  miseries  of  the  decrepitude  of  old  age. 
Moreover  any  change  in  me  would  have  effaced  the 
likeness  to  her  son,  for  whose  sake  she  had  adopted  me. 
Besides,  I  would  have  ceased  to  be  he  whom  her  benev- 
olence had  decided  to  save.  Could  she  arrest  in  me  the 
ravages  of  age?  As  my  body  was  exposed  to  no  ex- 
haustion by  fatigue,  it  would  only  be  necessary  to 
paralyze  the  functions  of  change.  Could  this  be  accom- 
plished by  the  intravenous  injection  of  the  blood  of  a 
youthful  person  ? 

An  offer  of  financial  reward  availed  to  induce  a  suit- 
ably vigorous  individual  to  arrest  my  body's  aging  by 
a  transfusion  of  blood,  on  two  succeeding  birthdays. 
But  after  the  legal  publicity  of  the  strange  state  of 
affairs,  this  became  entirely  impracticable,  for  the  public 
considered  my  survival  due  to  some  diabolism. 

To  avoid  the  wrecking  of  all  her  plans  by  my  aging 
unnecessarily,  she  herself,  once  a  year  on  my  birth-day, 
furnished  the  reinvigorating  vital  tide. 

From  that  time  on  there  was,  for  her,  no  turning 
back.  Abandoned  by  all  social  intercourse,  with  the 
spooky  reputation  of  being  the  uncanny  bride  of  a 
living  corpse,  she  might  as  well  complete  the  sacrifice 
she  had  undertaken.  After  her  own  friends  of  youth 
had  passed  away,  the  younger  generation  stood  aloof 
from  her.  Acquitted  by  the  insanity  experts  through 
her  influence  and  wealth,  there  remained  for  her  no 
future  but  the  success  of  the  vicariousness  to  which 
she  had  immolated  herself. 

But  she  had  one  grief :  that  she  herself  yearly  grew 
older,  and  showed  the  signs  of  age.  She  feared  that  if 
I  did  wake  up,  I  would  no  longer  recognize  her;  and, 
with  touching  solicitude,  for  some  years  she  tried  by 
artificial  arts  to  retain  her  matronly  bloom. 

But  when  this  ultimately  failed,  —  as  she  realized  on 
the  occasion  of  a  chance  meeting  with  a  friend  of  her 


A  PLATONIC  UNION  13 

youth  who  most  innocently  failed  to  recognize  her,  — 
she  faced  a  still  more  poignant  anxiety:  what  was  to 
become  of  me,  if  she  should  die  before  I  awakened? 
As  she  grew  older  the  blood  by  which  she  yearly 
in  me  delayed  the  changes  of  age  would  be  less  and  less 
effectual;  and  might  perhaps  her  stupendous  sacrifice 
have  been  in  vain?  She  turned  to  prayer,  and  on  a 
lonely  Christmas  day  made  her  final  renunciation.  If 
it  was  to  be  in  vain,  she  at  least  had  done  her  utmost ; 
the  rest  she  must  leave  to  Providence. 

There  was  still  one  provision  she  alone  could  make ; 
she  must  save  me  from  the  fate  which  at  her  demise  her 
unnatural  heirs  would  no  doubt  bring  on  me;  besides, 
after  their  treatment  of  her,  she  had  rather  have  de- 
stroyed all  her  wealth  than  allow  it  to  fall  into  the 
clutches  of  her  persecutors.  So  she  took  all  possible 
legal  precautions  to  have  my  body  preserved  in  a  private 
room  in  the  San  Francisco  city  museum,  to  which  she 
assigned  all  the  income  of  her  estate  until  I  should 
wake  and  claim  the  whole  inheritance  for  myself. 

For  this  the  museum  authorities  were  perfectly  willing. 
First,  there  was  the  scientific  curiosity  of  a  man  who 
was  still  alive,  and  even  youthful,  though  sleeping  for 
decades.  Visitors  would  come  from  the  extremities  of 
the  globe  to  study  this  unique  continuation  of  life. 
Second,  the  directors  would  in  the  meanwhile  enjoy  a 
yearly  income  of  several  million  dollars,  which,  on  being 
well-invested,  would  create  a  foundation  for  the  advance- 
ment of  research  and  collections  such  as  the  world  had 
never  seen,  nor  might  ever  again  witness.  Third,  it 
increased  the  power  of  the  trustees  to  such  an  extent 
that  they  figured  among  the  most  prominent  financiers, 
and,  without  any  wrong-doing,  nay,  in  the  course  of 
their  duty,  were  put  in  the  way  of  amassing  amazing 
private  fortunes.  As  to  my  body,  all  it  demanded  was 
a  few  breaths  of  air  and  a  little  rectal  feeding  to  con- 
tinue suspended  animation. 


14        A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES     . 

Shortly  after  having  created  this  great  foundation, 
my  protectress  died,  on  the  occasion  of  one  of  those 
transfusions  of  blood,  in  which  she  had  persisted,  to 
the  very  end,  on  the  fourth  of  March,  1975,  at  the  ripe 
age  of  97  years,  having  tended  me  continuously  for  58. 
Though  we  had  not  been  married  we  had  lived  together 
a  life-time. 


CHAPTER  III 
MY  REANIMATIO'N 

After  Mrs.  Parker's  death,  her  will  was  carried  into 
effect,  and  my  body  removed  to  the  San  Francisco 
city  museum.  It  had  been  found  necessary  to  construct 
a  special  room,  not  only  to  protect  me  from  vandals 
without  interfering  with  my  being  on  exhibition,  but 
also  to  allow  for  the  inevitable  care  of  my  remains. 

After  the  first  public  stir  over  my  removal  had  sub- 
sided, and  the  special  board  of  trustees  had  attended 
to  all  the  necessary  reinvestments  of  the  immense  cap- 
ital, it  gradually  dawned  on  them  that  it  would  be  to 
their  financial  and  social  advantage  to  postpone  my 
awakening  as  long  as  possible.  Indeed,  had  I  awakened 
naturally,  they  would  in  all  probability  have  prevented 
the  revival  from  becoming  more  than  temporary.  In 
some  easy  and  unobtrusive  form  of  euthanasia  they 
might  even  have  facilitated  my  permanent  transition 
to  that  realm  from  where  I  could  not  have  interfered 
with  the  management  or  disposal  of  the  only  great 
aggregation  of  capital  remaining  in  private  hands  in 
the  whole  world. 

No  doubt  they  would  have  carried  out  such  a  plan 
had  it  not  been  equally  as  evident  to  the  descendants 
of  Mrs.  Parker's  scapegrace  nephew,  Jalcy  Parker. 
With  all  the  irony  of  fate,  the  latter  had  died  in  1970, 

IS 


16        A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

five  years  before  the  aunt  from  whom  he  expected  to 
inherit.  But  he  had  bequeathed  his  secret  claims  as  a 
legacy  to  his  son,  Cornelius  Parker,  who,  at  about  45 
years  of  age,  himself  had  died  in  2000.  In  turn  he  also 
had  bequeathed  his  claims  to  his  son,  named  Policiver, 
who,  in  2023,  was  a  likely  youth  of  about  twenty-five 
years  of  age. 

Ever  since  his  childhood  he  had  been  taught  great 
expectations  from  this  inheritance,  whose  acquirement 
would  make  of  him  the  most  powerful  man  in  the  world. 
Alone  it  had  not  been  nationalized  for  the  double  reason 
that  I  had  not  yet  died,  and  because  it  was  in  the  care 
of  public  authorities.  If  through  any  legal  sophistry 
he  could  lay  hold  on  it,  he  might  sway  the  fates  of  even 
nations.  In  any  case,  his  family  had  by  this  claim 
become  so  hypnotized  that  he  could  find  no  rest  until 
he  had  made  a  fight  for  it ;  it  was  the  family  destiny. 

Ever  since  his  childhood,  he  had  been  taken  to  visit 
my  recumbent  form,  and  if  human  glances  could  have 
galvanized  me  into  life,  my  enfeebled  wandering  con- 
sciousness would  have  been  restored  to  direction  of  its 
unused  tenement.  However,  in  a  dim  manner,  I  was 
aware  of  those  malevolent  influences  which  to  me  were 
symbolized  as  fire-spewing  dragons,  bat-like  vultures 
that  attempted  to  feed  upon  my  vitals,  and  gigantic  boa 
constrictors  winding  slimy  noisomeness  around  my 
helplessly  charmed  form.  It  was  only  later  that  I  under- 
stood what  these  monstrosities  signified,  for  at  the  time 
I  merely  underwent  their  tortures  unreflectingly. 

There  was  one  compensation,  however;  for  in  those 
cavernous  abysses  of  unreality  I  was  not  unconscious 
of  Mrs  Parker's  Beatrice-like  soul  still  attempting  to 
protect  me  from  those  noxious  fumes  of  malice.  I  was 
just  as  far  from  her  as  before  her  transition ;  for  while 
she  had  exchanged  the  real  external  for  the  real  internal 
spheres  of  existence,  my  glimmering  spirit  was  eddying 
on  the  dim  borderland  between  the  two  worlds.     It 


A  PLATONIC  UNION  17 

must  have  been  a  case  of  divided  jurisdiction,  for  on  the 
occasional  visits  of  more  potent  spirits  there  seemed 
to  be  a  conflicting  hesitation  which  discouraged  me 
greatly,  in  spite  of  my  protectress's  smile  and  friendly 
salutation,  which  appeared  to  presage  my  eventual 
release.    This  was  brought  about  as  follows. 

Dr.  Policiver  understood  clearly  enough  that  so 
long  as  I  remained  in  my  present  condition  the  museum 
committee  would  continue  to  absorb  his  grand-aunt's 
estate ;  and  should  I  die  before  waking,  they  would 
probably  keep  it ;  for  the  actual  transition,  under  these 
peculiar  circumstances  might  give  rise  to  as  pretty  and 
inconclusive  a  medical  fracas  as  had  been  the  historic 
lunacy  trial  of  Mrs.  Parker.  That  they  would  do  noth- 
ing to  hasten  my  awakening  was  sure ;  in  that  direction 
lay  no  gain  for  them.  His  only  chance,  on  the  contrary, 
lay  in  my  waking  and  claiming  the  money,  in  which 
event  he  could  hope  to  induce  me  to  share  it  with  him 
out  of  gratitude,  or  even  make  him  my  legatee  as  I 
might  not  be  expected  to  survive  my  awakening  very 
long.  There  was  still  a  further  possibility:  he  might 
find  some  favorable  clause  in  the  Parker  will,  which 
was  by  them  carefully  kept  under  lock  and  key,  but 
which  they  might  be  compelled  to  produce  in  court  if 
I  made  any  public  claim. 

While  things  remained  unchanged,  therefore,  there 
were  for  him  no  prospects  whatever;  so  that  his  only 
hope  lay  in  discovering  some  means  of  reawakening 
me.  To  achieve  this,  he  took  a  medical  course ;  and  to 
whatever  lecture  he  happened  to  be  Hstening,  his  mind 
would  be  seeking  to  solve  the  problem  of  my  comatose 
condition  from  that  particular  new  angle.  Every  fresh 
medical  text  he  conned  was  with  miserliness  sifted  as 
with  a  tooth-comb.  His  final  decision  was  to  discover 
an  anti-serum  to  the  African  sleeping-sickness,  to  coun- 
teract the  malady  that  prostrated  me ;  then  he  planned 
to  shock  me  into  consciousness  by  an  intravenous  trans- 


18       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

fusion  of  blood  which,  if  necessary,  he  himself  would 
furnish.  In  this  matter,  however,  he  counted  on  the 
gullibility  of  human  nature  to  find  some  substitute. 

After  graduating  in  medicine,  he  went  to  practice  in 
Liberia,  and  from  there  he  made  excursions  to  the 
chief  local  seats  of  the  disease  he  was  trying  to  combat. 
In  all  this  he  was  most  careful  not  to  reveal  his  secret, 
for  my  inert  body  was  so  celebrated  that  any  public 
discovery  of  a  curative  serum  would  have  been  immedi- 
ately applied  to  my  case  by  the  agency  of  newspapers, 
if  by  none  others.  After  several  years  of  unremitting 
toil  he  succeeded  in  his  effort. 

At  once  returning  to  the  Golden  Gate,  he  faced  the 
problem  of  gaining  confidential  access  to  the  museum. 
No  very  suitable  position  was  open ;  for  in  modern  days 
every  department  of  life  was  highly  specialized,  and  a 
physician  had  slim  chance  of  admission  to  the  museum 
staff.  Besides,  the  higher  his  position,  the  more  likely 
would  his  secret  purpose  have  been  guessed.  It  was 
therefore  under  a  porter's  mask  that  he  succeeded  in 
effecting  entrance  into  that  Californian  Troy. 

He  felt  the  need  of  an  accomplice.  He  found  one  in 
a  position  where  she  could  assist  him  most  effectually, 
the  office  of  the  museum  directorate.  Her  name  was 
Orchid,  and  her  ability  to  carry  out  suggestions  in  a 
practical  manner  fitted  her  ideally  for  his  purposes, 
while  her  personal  charms  were  not  deficient.  There- 
fore he  ascertained  in  which  matrimonial  school  she 
was  enrolled,  and  found  that  she  was  already  in  the 
selection  class.  He  had  himself  transferred  to  the  same, 
and  effected  a  trial  engagement.  Frankly,  he  hoped 
to  effect  his  purpose  without  actually  embarrassing 
himself  with  her  for  life,  which  would  make  of  her  a 
partner  in  the  enjoyment  of  the  fortune.  He  attempted 
to  enlist  her  help  in  reviving  me  during  the  trial  engage- 
ment ;  but  though  he  found  her  overflowing  with  solici- 
tude for  my  plight,  she  was  very  wisely  adamant  in 


A  PLATONIC  UNION  19 

refusing-  to  attempt  any  very  risky  manceuver  which 
might  have  jeopardized  her  position,  until  the  marriage 
had  been  duly  celebrated.  They  therefore  went  together 
through  the  "Modernized  Mysteries,"  and  were  ulti- 
mately publicly  married ;  and  to  please  her,  also  married 
in  a  church.  Then  with  the  utmost  charm  she  abandoned 
herself  to  his  plans.  This  practical  wisdom  on  her  part 
depended  on  the  fact  that  from  inside  information  in 
the  museum  office,  she  understood  the  real  situation; 
only  both  of  them  had  hidden  their  anxiety  for  the 
financial  aspect  of  the  transaction.  Each  thought  the 
other  was  being  overreached.  When  they  discovered 
this  double  duplicity  they  were  divided  between  mutual 
admiration  and  distrust.  Then  it  was  that  the  elemental 
woman  met  the  cave-man,  and  stooping  to  tears,  she 
conquered  her  mate  by  the  bait  of  beauty.  From  now 
on  she  led  him  by  his  passion,  his  jealousy  and  secret. 
Both  therefore  entered  on  the  scheme  for  my  reanima- 
tion  determined  to  win. 

So  it  came  about  that,  on  a  hot  July  night  when  the 
director  and  his  staff  were  away  on  a  vacation,  the  med- 
ical porter  and  his  secretarial  partner  spent  the  best 
part  of  the  night  working  over  me.  They  had  convinced 
themselves  that  no  immediate  result  was  to  be  antici- 
pated, and  desisted,  hoping  that  the  serum  would  take 
effect  a  little  later.  This  indeed  occurred;  and  it  was 
about  dawn,  on  August  30,  2023,  that  my  eyelids  flut- 
tered open  on  that  strange  scene,  —  the  classic  hall  of 
the  museum,  myself  half  out  of  a  glass  case,  with  the 
blood-stained  implements  of  transfusion  still  working 
through  which  I  was  receiving  the  vital  tide  from  the 
arm  of  a  charming  young  woman  under"  the  direction 
of  a  butcher-like  doctor,  who  was  communicating  with 
her  in  unintelligible  whispers  by  flash-light. 

Then  I  relapsed  into  sweet  slumber. 


CHAPTER  IV 
GARMENTS  OF  THE  PERIOD 

Although  I  had  again  fallen  into  sleep,  this  was  only 
of  the  healthy  temporary  kind.  I  dimly  realized  I  was 
being  carried  down  stairways,  after  which  the  swinging 
motion  of  a  car,  lasting  for  some  time,  lulled  me  once 
more  into  a  confused  dream.  I  was,  however,  momen- 
tarily aroused  while  being  put  into  a  comfortable  bed, 
refreshed  with  liquid  food,  my  pillow  tenderly  smoothed, 
the  blinds  drawn,  and  a  little  night-lamp  lit. 

Only  gradually  did  I  familiarize  myself  with  my  sur- 
roundings. I  was  in  a  dainty  room  of  western  exposure, 
with  a  door  leading  to  a  balcony,  and  two  windows. 
When  the  blinds  were  drawn,  I  could  see  the  snow- 
capped chain  of  the  Sierras,  on  which  I  could  gaze  when 
transfigured  by  the  glories  of  dawn  and  sunset.  The 
moon  and  the  stars  added  a  mystic  touch  of  haunting 
grace  to  my  convalescent  moods. 

My  nurse  was  the  same  young  woman  whose  life- 
blood  had  in  me  reawakened  the  spark  of  life ;  and  what- 
ever ideals  of  romantic  chivalry  echoed  in  my  memories 
were  aroused  by  her  well-bred  friendliness.  She  wore 
a  costume  that  I  at  first  supposed  was  a  peculiar  nurse- 
uniform;  but  when  later  I  saw  it  worn  by  all  other 
women,  I  realized  it  was  a  standardized  dress  of  the 
times  to  which  my  lingering  spark  of  life  had  preserved 
me. 

Later  I  discovered  that  this  universal  uniform  was 
fundamentally  the  same  for  men  and  women,  though 


GARMENTS  OF  THE  PERIOD  21 

differentiated  to  accommodate  the  special  sex-variations, 
that  of  the  women  always  retaining  the  more  pro- 
nounced charm  and  fancy,  in  difference  of  textures  and 
colors,  suitable  to  the  social  needs.  Each  garment  was 
allowed  one  single  design  of  embroidery,  no  more.  In 
my  day  I  had  heard  that  the  countess  of  Antrim  had 
characterized  fancy-work  as  an  invention  of  the  Evil 
One,  to  keep  women's  minds  from  wisdom.  At  any  rate, 
with  the  growing  sphere  of  their  practical  interests 
women  themselves  had  come  to  disapprove  of  unneces- 
sarily elaborate  needle-work;  and  it  was  universally 
recognized  that  a  single  design  was  quite  as  effective, 
if  not  far  more  so,  than  a  great  profusion.  Ingenious 
simplicity  proclaimed  the  sex  in  an  appeal  far  more 
subtle  than  the  ancient  flounces  and  furbelows,  namely 
that  of  the  inspiring  comradeship.  Women  prided 
themselves  less  on  external  attractiveness  than  on  their 
spiritual  charms.  Their  education  having  become  the 
same  as  that  of  men,  they  resented  the  now  needless 
waste  of  time  entailed  in  preening  and  dazzling.  In  my 
day  women  would  change  their  garb  three  or  four  times 
a  day,  on  board  ship,  or  at  summer  resorts ;  and  this 
was  now  looked  upon  with  as  much  disgust  as  we  used 
to  look  on  the  Romans  who  sat  at  banquet  all  day  long, 
thanks  to  frequent  relief  in  the  vomarium. 

When  I  recovered  sufficiently  to  be  given  male  gar- 
ments I  discovered  that  except  for  such  outer  wraps 
as  overcoats,  the  one-piece  garment  had  displaced  all 
the  separate  pieces  of  my  day.  How  glad  I  was  of  the 
disappearance  of  the  ugly  and  hampering  suspenders, 
the  uncomfortable  and  unphysiological  belts,  and  the 
unhygienic  and  unadjustable  middle  junction.  The  loose 
trousers  were  buttoned  on  to  a  vest,  to  which  were  also 
buttoned  soft  collars  and  cuffs,  and  the  artists'  cravat. 
The  outer  coat  was  double-breasted,  each  flap  being 
buttoned  under  the  opposite  arm,  combining  ease  of 
arrangement  with   complete   protection   to   neck   and 


22       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

chest,  which  is  the  most  vulnerable  part  of  the  body, 
and  in  my  fooHsh  days  the  least  protected. 

In  the  garb  of  both  men  and  women  starch  had  dis- 
appeared, as  both  ruinous  to  materials,  and  wasteful  of 
human  labor.  Pressing,  also,  was  tabooed,  as  were 
pleats,  ruffles  and  flounces.  They  were  looked  on  as 
relics  of  barbarous  ages  of  slavery,  when  it  was  still 
possible  to  hire  people  to  make  and  keep  them  up. 

As  to  shoes,  the  individual  made-to-order  variety  had 
disappeared,  except  for  rare  deformities.  At  school 
children  were  from  the  start  educated  to  feel  as  much 
pride  in  having  normal  feet  as  in  my  day  people  took 
in  having  feet  of  unusual  form,  which  pride  was  fostered 
for  sordid  profit  by  mercenary  shoe-making  brigands. 
In  my  days  it  was  a  real  joke  that  Americans  professed 
to  look  on  Chinese  foot-binding  with  utmost  condem- 
nation, while  thanks  to  "elegant  styles"  of  foot-wear 
American  feet  were  in  a  condition  so  bad  as  to  have 
developed  and  supported  a  whole  profession  of  pedicur- 
ists.  As  so9n  as  the  trade  was  nationalized  it  was  found 
just  as  cheap  to  produce  ready-made  shoes  with  oblique 
toe-lines  and  arch-supports  as  the  old  deformed  and 
deforming  patterns.  Deformities,  of  course,  were  treated 
individually  and  scientifically. 

Gloves  were  worn  by  both  sexes,  both  for  protection 
and  social  exquisiteness.  With  the  disappearance  of 
"servants"  every  one  had  to  do  his  own  work,  and  as 
all  hands  became  a  little  rougher,  they  all  had  to  be 
better  cared  for.  Extremely  fine  or  very  rough  hands 
had  become  the  exception.  Here  also  Americans  were 
inconsistent ;  while  they  condemned  the  long  nails  worn 
by  rich  Chinamen  as  proof  that  they  belonged  to  a  class 
that  did  not  need  to  work,  they  still  were  proud  of 
hand  so  fine  as  to  prove  they  did  not  work.  These,  in 
modern  times,  would  have  been  considered  lazy  or 
dishonest. 

As  to  hats,  there  was  more  diversity.   To  begin  with, 


GARMENTS  OF  THE  PERIOD  23 

they  were  no  longer  used  for  formality,  show,  or  vanity, 
even  in  church.  A  hat  was  considered  a  necessary  evil 
as  a  protection  against  dust,  heat,  or  cold ;  otherwise 
all  usually  went  bare-headed,  with  a  great  decrease  of 
baldness.  The  tall  black  silk  hat  survived  only  in  ethno- 
logical museums  to  illustrate  the  abysmal  possibilities 
of  human  folly.  Hard  felt  hats  had  given  place  to  soft 
ones,  that  were  water-proofed,  and  furnished  with 
visors  to  shade  the  eyes.  Tam-o-shanters  were  favorites 
in  winter,  and  in  summer  the  Belgian  double-pointed 
aviator's  cap,  which  would  fold  in  two  and  be  put  in 
the  pocket,  when  not  in  use.  The  hats  of  women  were 
distinguished  only  by  some  single  flower  or  design. 
Feathers  were  considered  barbarous,  and  filigree  gew- 
gaws bizarre.  The  hair  was  cut  fairly  short  among  both 
sexes,  but  natural  flowers  were  much  worn  in  it. 

On  the  whole,  as  already  in  my  day  gormandize  as 
a  mortal  sin  had  disappeared  for  lack  of  opportnity  to 
exercise  it,  —  the  more  expensive  a  restaurant  was,  the 
smaller  were  the  portions  of  food,  —  so  in  modern  times 
vanity  had  faded  out  of  the  human  heart  before  the 
sanifying  influence  of  the  uniform. 

Was  it  monotonous?  At  least  it  was  less  individual- 
istically  insane  than  the  "originalities"  of  my  day.  We 
used  to  think  we  were  democratic,  but  the  richer 
sported  crests,  which  for  the  most  part  were  invented 
for  ready  cash.  These  uniforms  had  won  their  way  in 
spite  of  the  monotony  because  they  were  inevitable, 
logically  and  rationally.  Peculiarities  are  really  ab- 
normalities, insanities. 


CHAPTER  V 
HOUSEHOLD  REFORM 

My  convalescence  was  slow ;  not  because  of  any  actual 
disease,  but  that  after  my  now  almost  century-long" 
quiescence  I  had  to  learn  again  to  use  my  muscles  and 
to  balance  myself  in  walking.  Orchid,  my  friendly  com- 
panion, rather  than  nurse,  would  sit  with  me,  discussing 
modern  conditions.  The  mountains,  and  nature,  were 
unchanged;  humanity  seemed  perhaps  a  little  perfected 
from  what  I  had  known  it  in  my  day ;  but  the'  greatest 
change  had  of  course  taken  place  in  the  manner  of  life. 

After  clothing,  the  most  interesting  of  my  observa- 
tions naturally  referred  to  my  room.  There  were  ven- 
tilator-gratings at  top  and  bottom.  The  water-faucet 
and  sink  were  in  a  small  cavity  within  the  wall,  except 
for  the  handle.  Even  the  bed  on  which  I  lay  could  be 
folded  into  the  wall.  The  corners  of  the  room,  the 
junction  of  walls,  floors  and  ceiHngs  were  all  rounded, 
so  as  to  give  no  lodging  to  dust.  The  floor  itself  was 
covered  with  a  rubber-cement  composition,  and  the 
walls  were  painted,  so  as  to  be  readily  washable. 

I  was  greatly  shocked  at  seeing  my  gracious  friend 
performing  any  menial  task,  although  nurses  have  to 
do  everything  for  their  patients ;  yet  the>'  used  to  be 
considerably  more  finicky  when  going  out  to  private 
patients.  With  a  frank  smile  my  kindly  helper  told  me 
that  I  had  better  accept  what  I  got ;  for  when  I  should 
be  well  I  would  be  expected  to  do  as  much  for  myself; 
"and."  added  she,  "should  I  ever  become  sick,  I  shall 
gratefully  accept  a  like  service  from  you." 

*4 


HOUSEHOLD  REFORM  25 

Most  of  what  I  saw  did  not,  in  principle,  surprise  me; 
but  here  everything  was  systematized  and  standardized 
beyond  what  I  could  ever  have  imagined.  Folding-beds, 
for  instance,  were  old  enough  in  idea ;  but  I  had  never 
dreamed  of  seeing  them  built  into  the  wall,  as  I  later 
found  was  the  universal  rule.  Separate  bed-steads  were 
considered  prehistoric,  wasteful  of  space,  and  awkward. 
The  socialization  and  standardization  of  the  building 
and  furniture  trades  had  resulted  in  supplying  every 
room  with  a  wall-folding  bed  or  couch,  table,  and  seats, 
book-shelves,  closets,  drawers,  pigeon-holes  and  letter- 
files,  thus  doing  away  with  over  one-half  of  the  furniture 
of  the  early  days,  although  standardized  movable  fur- 
niture was  still  used  for  assembly-rooms,  and  reception, 
dining  and  amusement  purposes.  All  walls  had  picture- 
moldings,  from  which  hung  standardized  paper  and 
isinglass  frames,  doing  away  with  heavy  glass  and 
ornate  gilt  or  black  plaster,  always  ready  to  crumble 
and  chip. 

The  recreation  room  held  the  telephone  exchange 
with  municipalized  concert  and  lecture  connections, 
with  a  standardized  piano  and  organ  built  into  the  wall. 
In  every  room  there  was  a  small  folding  console  to  this 
central  instrument,  with  an  arrangement  by  which  its 
sound  could  be  heard  exclusively  in  any  room.  This 
standardization  ended  that  absurd  waste  of  individual 
instruments  which  in  my  day  turned  furniture  storage 
warehouses  into  a  Saragasso  Sea  of  stranded  pianos, 
that  were  eating  their  heads  off  in  storage  by  com- 
panies, regiments  and  divisions. 

Storage  warehouses,  as  such,  had  disappeared  before 
the  municipal  furniture  exchange,  which  had  also  done 
away  with  the  pawnshop,  auction-room  and  newspaper 
furniture  column,  with  its  many  traps  for  the  unwary 
or  ignorant.  On  furniture  itself  this  had  a  somewhat 
depressing  effect,  because  each  municipahty  selected 
certain  kinds,  those  in  most  demand,     The  elaborate 


26       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

period-furniture  was  relegated  to  history-books  and 
museums,  now  that  show  in  the  home  was  as  useless  as 
it  was  deprecated.  What  the  furniture  lost  in  peculiar- 
ity, it  gained  in  solidity.  When  one  person  had  finished 
using  a  certain  article,  it  could  be  returned  to  the  mun- 
icipal exchange  at  a  standard  price,  so  that  nothing  was 
ever  lost  until  destroyed;  and  the  knowledge  that  an 
article  had  at  all  times  a  cash  redeemage  value  tended 
to  promote  carefulness.  As  with  the  nationalization  of 
tobacco  in  France  of  my  day,  the  result  was  fewer 
"brands;"  but  as  these  most  often  consisted  of  the  same 
kind  of  tobacco  done  up  in  different  kinds  of  packages, 
there  was  really  no  loss  except  in  deceitful  tricks.  The 
chief  result  was  that  people  no  longer  took  excessive 
pride  in  the  absurdity  and  supposed  rarity  of  often  faked 
antiques.  They  reserved  their  pride  for  achievements 
in  science,  art,  character,  and  social  intercourse. 

Orchid,  (not  Miss  Orchid,  —  for  she  laughed  at  my 
attempts  to  use  so  antiquated  a  mode  of  address,  savor- 
ing of  medieval  nobiliary  privileges)  would  spend  hours 
of  merriment  over  the  ridiculous  waste  and  discomforts 
of  the  individualism  of  my  early  days.  Over  and  over 
she  would  ask  me  if  my  early  contemporaries  had  not 
seen  the  significance  of  the  nationalization  of  currency 
and  postage;  whether  they  were  really  willing  to  per- 
petuate all  the  incredible  economic  waste  of  competitive 
railroads,  telegraphs  and  telephones ;  and  where  not 
jealous  competition,  then  oppressive  monopoly.  Was 
it  individual  selfishness,  or  lack  of  self-consciousness  in 
democracy;  or,  worst  of  all,  stupidity  born  and  pre- 
served by  conceit? 

As  a  woman,  she  was  of  course  more  interested  in 
household  matters  than  in  these  general  political  rela- 
tions. The  degradation  of  Individual  domestic  service, 
the  individual  lighting  and  heating  of  even  my  early 
years  never  ceased  to  entertain  her;  not  to  mention  the 
foolish  individualism  of  matches,  with  the  electric  cur- 


HOUSEHOLD  REFORM  27 

rent  ever  available.  Gas  had  disappeared  before  the 
exhaustion  of  coal  mines,  wrecked  by  spendthrift  gener- 
ations  before   democracy   achieved   self-consciousness. 

It  was  only  later  that  I  was  permitted  to  visit  the 
kitchen ;  and  I  found  it  as  comfortable  and  ornamental 
as  the  reception-room ;  indeed,  by  far  cleaner,  being 
rigidly  aseptic,  and  consisting  chiefly  of  food-storage 
and  heating.  The  elaborate  dishes  of  earlier  days  had 
disappeared,  and  were  mentioned  as  survivals  of  Roman 
luxury,  possible  only  in  the  times  of  professional,  or 
rather  unprofessional  domestics,  the  last  survivals  of 
slavery.  No  more  than  one  cooked  meal  a  day  was 
considered  necessary ;  and  this  reduced  the  number  of 
dishes  used  on  the  table  to  a  minimum ;  and  they,  being 
made  of  fibre,  instead  of  being  washed,  were  discarded. 
Handsome  dinner-sets  would  not  have  been  given 
house-room,  and  were  not  even  preserved  in  museums. 

On  the  contrary,  domestic  science  had  become  an 
obligatory  part  of  everybody's  education.  Single  per- 
sons, who  were  rare  exceptions,  did  their  own  cooking. 
In  families,  father  and  mother  aided  each  other,  or  took 
turns,  until  the  children  arrived  at  an  age  to  help.  While 
schools  taught  cooking  most  rigorously,  graduation 
was  dependent  on  a  certain  number  of  years  of  experi- 
ence; which,  unless  taken  at  home,  had  to  be  acquired 
at  the  home  of  others,  or  in  institutions ;  so  that  it  was 
directly  to  the  young  person's  interest  to  acquire  it  In 
the  home  circle  ;  and  children,  instead  of  trying  to  avoid 
kitchen  experience,  would  almost  fight  for  the  privilege. 
This  also  settled  the  problem  of  pocket-money,  all  of 
which  had  to  be  earned.  It  was  considered  immoral  to 
give  anything  as  a  present,  except  on  special  holiday 
occasions. 

As  mentioned  above,  elaborate  dishes  had  passed  out 
of  fancy  and  usage.  The  delicatessen  stores  had  been 
municipalized,  so  that  kitchen  work  consisted  mostly 
of  heating  and   serving,   eliminating  the  drudgery  of 


28       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

shelling  peas,  stringing  beans,  washing  spinach,  and 
accumulating  much  garbage.  The  cook  had  become 
more  of  a  dietician,  and  prevented  many  diseases  which 
in  the  past  were  due  to  a  wrong  selection  of  foods. 
Needless  to  say,  fruits  were  widely  eaten,  and  many 
preparations  of  vegetables  and  meats  were  bought  in 
inexpensive  sanitary^  containers,  fibre  having  entirely 
replaced  the  wasteful  and  dangerous  tin  cans. 

Many  new  fruits  and  vegetables  had  been  produced 
by  scientific  creative  gardening,  of  which  in  my  day 
Burbank  had  been  one  of  the  pioneers.  Most  fruits 
had  become  stoneless,  especially  peaches,  grapes  and 
cherries.  The  raspberry  was  less  liable  to  decay  than 
in  my  time.  The  potato  had  been  given  a  flavor,  all 
beans  were  stringless,  and  pea-shells  had  become  edible. 
Onions  had  been  freed  of  their  familiar  suffocating 
smell. 

Much  of  this  I  discovered  only  piecemeal,  and  as  it 
were  by  accident ;  for  the  whole  subject  of  eating  was 
in  conversation  considered  vulgar. 


CHAPTER  VI 
A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CONTINENTS 

Attracted  as  I  was  by  the  fascinating-  novelties 
surrounding  me,  I  would  never  have  indulged  in 
retrospects  except  that  in  the  balmy  autumn  evenings, 
fragrant  with  jasmine  and  oleander,  memories  of  my 
far  off  childhood  in  other  lands,  like  mystic  legends, 
would  intoxicate  me,  and  blur  the  scene  with  involun- 
tary tears.  Wherf  a  catch  in  my  throat  would  betray 
this,  the  gentle  hand  of  my  companion  took  a  nurse's 
liberty  with  her  patient,  and  a  responsive  grasp  would 
testify  to  my  unuttered  gratitude. 

"Tell  me  all  about  it,"  she  whispered,  more  in  pity 
than  in  real  curiosity,  I  believe.  That  evening  was  one 
of  the  last  times  that  I  was  really  distressed  by  the 
rheumatic  twinges  out  of  which  I  finally  exercised  my- 
self; and  she  was  no  doubt  only  trying  to  distract  my 
attention  by  making  me  speak  of  myself.  I  smiled 
ruefully,  as  I  explained  that  I  would  gladly  do  so,  but 
that  there  would  be  so  much  to  tell  that  I  would  not 
know  where  to  begin. 

With  gleaming  eyes  she  persisted,  "Merely  utter  your 
thoughts,  and  later  on  branch  out  in  whatever  direction 
you  feel  led." 

"That  would  indeed  give  me  the  most  relief,"  re- 
sponded I,  "for  I  believe  in  confession  as  the  only  real 
consolation." 

29 


30       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

Anglo-Saxon  formality,  primness,  and  prudery  had 
never  been  part  of  my  really  French  nature;  and  if  I 
hesitated  a  moment,  it  was  because  of  the  unescapable 
realization  that  these  poignant,  palpitating  experiences 
might  appear  but  idle  tales  to  so  much  of  a  stranger. 
But  a  gentle  pressure  drew  my  glance  to  her  fearless, 
friendly  eyes,  —  radiating  the  universal  language  of  vir- 
tue, aspiration,  intelligence,  and  sincere  kindness.  I 
blushed  at  my  unworthy  scruples,  and  began  to  think 
less  of  myself  and  more  of  her.  My  old-world  pettiness 
seemed  contemptible  before  a  being  of  more  spacious 
times.  It  was  a  touch  of  genuine  humility  that  tinged 
my  hesitation. 

"I  shall  not  attempt  any  connected  history  of  my 
antecedents;  I  shall  merely  invite  you  to  a  stroll 
through  the  Elysian  fields  of  memory,  and  whatever 
ghosts  shall  meet  us,  I  shall  try  to  describe. 

In  the  first  place,  for  three  generations  our  family 
repeated  the  drama  of  immigration.  Grandfather  and 
grandmother,  father  and  mother,  and  we  three  children 
also  were  born  in  Europe,  came  to  the  United  States 
and  were  naturalized  there,  though  later  child-memories 
drew  them  back  to  their  storied  birthlands. 

In  the  second  place,  our  family  was  inspired  with  an 
incurable  reforming  passion.  The  first  reformer  was 
Frances  Wright  of  Dundee,  who  in  1802  came  to  the 
United  States  as  an  advocate,  lecturer  and  writer  on 
the  Woman's  Rights  movement.  She  gravitated  to  the 
New  Harmony  community  of  Robert  Dale  and  Richard 
Owen  —  Robert  was  the  initiator  of  the  New  Lanark 
mills  social  experiment,  and  author  of  the  "Footfalls  on 
the  Boundary  of  Another  World."  At  New  Harmony 
she  met  and  married  Guillaume  Casimir  Phiquepal 
d'Arusmont,  a  Rousseau-inspired  Provencal  physician 
and  teacher  of  Agen,  who  had  emigrated  to  the  New 
World  with  nine  boys,  who  later  became  wealthy  in 
their   new  home.     He  had   invented  the   tonic   sol-fa 


A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO   CONTINENTS    31 

system  of  musical  notation,  with  many  developments  to 
express  all  music,  and  a  keyboard  of  twelve  even  half- 
notes  ;  all  of  which  was  exploited  by  profiteers.  My 
grand-mother  then  decided  to  make  a  practical  experi- 
ment in  the  education  and  liberation  in  Hayti  of  negro 
slaves  at  Nashobah,  near  Memphis,  Tennessee,  leaving 
there  her  sister  Camilla,  who  married  Mr.  Whitby,  a 
neighbor,  and  soon  died. 

The  second  reformer  was  their  only  daughter,  Frances 
Sylva,  who  to  her  dying  day  tried  to  perpetuate  that 
mission,  but  was  hampered  by  her  romance  in  marrying 
and  rearing  her  family,  distracted  by  law-suits  insti- 
gated by  sordid  jackals  who  could  not  understand  any 
higher  motives,  and  took  advantage  of  her  distraction 
between  her  brood  in  Europe,  and  the  southern  planta- 
tion. What  wonder  she  failed  in  both?  Bitterest  of 
all,  no  doubt,  in  her  last  dying  days  in  Memphis,  was 
that  the  result  of  her  generous  endeavors  was  to  have 
squandered  all  her  resources  on  mercenary  strangers, 
while  her  own  children,  who  would  have  gladly  per- 
petuated and  completed  her  mission,  were  turned  out 
into  the  world  to  educate  themselves  as  best  they 
might,  and  naturally  came  to  look  on  her  wilfulness 
with  resentment. 

After  death  both  father  and  mother  must  have  been 
anxious  for  me,  mother  perhaps  even  seeking  my  for- 
giveness. Three  times  did  each  of  them  make  me  con- 
scious that  they  were  trying  to  assist  me. 

My  father  first  visited  me  in  Philadelphia.  While  on 
my  twenty-first  birthday  I  was  agonizing  for  divine 
help,  his  intensely  pitiful  face  appeared  among  purple 
clouds.  Then  while  traveling  through  the  bottoms  of 
Louisiana,  trying  to  decide  to  go  to  Harvard,  he  walked 
by  my  side,  encouraging  me.  Last,  while  my  young 
wife  was  busy  in  the  kitchen  she  felt  a  presence  and 
saw  a  countenance  which  she  later  identified  as  his  by 
a  photograph. 


32       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

My  mother  I  had  come  to  consider  as  my  bitterest 
enemy;  so  that  if  I  became  conscious  of  any  helpful 
ministrations  on  her  part,  this  was  very  certainly  not 
the  work  of  my  imagination.  First,  I  was  very  provi- 
dentially led  to  find  a  suitable  lodging,  for  which  I  had 
long  sought  in  vain,  as  my  needs  were  very  peculiar; 
and  after  I  had  moved  I  was  definitely  impressed  that 
this  had  come  about  through  her  assistance ;  something 
that  was  the  very  farthest  from  my  thoughts.  Second, 
when  I  had  travelled  to  Europe,  in  the  summer  of  the 
beginning  of  the  world-war,  I  was  three  times  in  one 
night  urged  to  return  immediately;  which  I  did,  and 
came  back  on  the  last  boat  that  was  not  delayed,  just 
in  time  to  save  a  mortgage  from  being  foreclosed 
through  the  negligence  of  a  friend.  Last,  she  appeared 
to  me  in  a  vivid  dream,  with  half  her  face  eaten  away 
by  worms,  trying  to  get  me  married,  so  that  I  should 
not  continue  to  eat  out  my  heart  in  loneliness ;  and  two 
years  later,  in  the  height  of  my  distress,  her  wish  was 
gratified. 

The  third  victim  of  the  pursuit  of  truth  was  myself. 
I  had  always  possessed  the  strange  faculty  of  drawing 
the  logical  conclusion  of  whatever  I  saw.  I  was  always 
half  a  century  before  my  time,  and  yet  I  always  saw 
others  reap  the  benefits  of  my  ideas,  and  day-dreams. 
When  I  first  proposed  roof-gardens,  I  was,  by  my  best 
friends,  treated  as  a  lunatic;  nor  was  I  given  the  least 
recognition  when  they  were  later  introduced  every- 
where. When  I  proposed  putting  hot  chocolate  on  ice- 
cream, I  was  treated  with  personal  contumely;  but  my 
friends  never  remembered  my  priority  when  in  two 
years  it  became  a  society  fad.  Among  the  inventions 
I  had  anticipated  were  the  automobile,  the  hydro-air 
plane,  and  through  electric  traction. 

When  twelve  years  old,  in  our  large  library  in  Wies- 
baden I  would  prostrate  myself  in  agonized  prayer  for 
three  achievements,  to  live  and  teach  the  example  of 


A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO   CONTINENTS    33 

Galahad,  to  discover  the  true  history  of  New  Testament 
times,  and  to  learn  to  know  the  mystery-rites.  These 
three  great  passions  that  agitated  my  breast  were 
destined  to  be  fulfilled,  but  only  much  later;  and  then 
only  as  by  accident.  I  had  even  forgotten  these  early 
yearnings  until  they  had  been  realized.  So  are  we 
predestined  by  our  aspirations,  and  make  our  own 
fate. 

"Were  you  not  fortunate?"  asked  my  interlocutor. 
"Few  achieve  what  they  set  out  to  do." 

"Fortunate  perhaps,  but  it  was  a  heavy  price  that  I 
paid;  that  of  living  the  sacrificial  role  of  a  victim." 

"To  whom?"  pressed  my  sympathetic  friend. 

"To  my  mother,  to  the  world,  and  to  my  brother." 

"Tell  me  how!"  urged  she. 

"On  a  walk  on  the  hills  near  Kreuznach,  the  Rev. 
Mr.  Seeley  of  Macclesfield,  who  was  in  charge  of  the 
local  English  church,  seeing  how  badly  things  were 
going  in  our  family,  called  me  aside,  and  assigned  me 
the  role  of  peacemaker,  or  victim.  'Be  the  drop  of  oil 
in  the  rusty  hinge!'  he  bade  me.  'You  will  suffer.,  but 
after  all  it  is  not  for  long;  and  see  how  much  good 
you  will  be  able  to  do!'  To  this  divine  call  I  was  not 
disobedient. 

"First  I  served  my  mother  as  son,  daughter,  and 
ladies'  maid,  for  a  dozen  years.  Busied  with  her  vision- 
ary schemes,  throwing  her  money  away  to  strangers, 
she  would  compel  me  to  wait  for  hours  on  street- 
corners;  and  finally  she  twice  dumped  me,  untrained, 
among  strangers.  If  I  ever  got  an  education,  it  was  in 
spite  of  her. 

"Then  to  the  world.  To  achieve  these  life-missions 
I  had  so  young  undertaken,  I  was  compelled  to  earn 
my  living  in  an  occupation  the  local  conditions  of  which 
were  exquisite  torture,  and  to  hold  which  I  had  to  live 
for  years  on  the  edge  of  a  volcano ;  appearing,  and 
being  treated  as  a  failure  by  'practical'  men  of  limited 


34       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

vision,  some  of  whom  daily  inflicted  on  me  the  most 
scornful  contempt.  But  I  could  conquer  only  by  grov- 
elling, having  voluntarily  sacrificed  position  and  social 
connections,  in  the  pursuit  of  conscientiousness  so 
quixotic  that  the  world  looked  on  my  renunciations  as 
confessions  of  guilt. 

Third,  to  my  brother,  who  had  always  been  indulged 
in  every  fancy  on  the  strength  of  irresponsible  accesses 
of  fury ;  so  that  whenever  I  was  wronged,  mother  would 
say,  'Well,  let  him  have  his  way ;  you  know  he  is  beside 
himself !'  So  it  went  all  life  long.  He  got  all  the  educa- 
tion, all  the  family  books,  the  family  clocks,  all  grand- 
mother's papers,  which  he  lavished  on  strangers,  but 
ever  refused  to  me,  who  was  the  only  one  interested  in 
the  family.  However,  he  had  the  excuse  that  he  had 
inherited  this  unnatural  trait  from  his  mother. 

"Then  when  for  years  I  had  retired  from  the  world 
to  study  the  missions  to  which  I  had  devoted  my  life, 
he  would  pester  me  for  the  results  of  my  studies,  which 
he  used  in  making  a  reputation  as  a  lecturer.  In  private 
he  fondled  me,  in  public  he.  kicked  me,  while  my  studies 
were  so  unremitting  I  had  neither  time  to  exploit  them 
for  my  own  benefit,  nor  to  defend  myself.  Repeatedly  he 
tried  to  get  me  to  commit  'hari-kari'  by  stranding  my- 
self penniless  in  California,  Texas,  Tennessee,  —  any 
place  where  I  could  not  hope  ever  to  capitalize  my  own 
research. 

"Revengeful  I  never  was;  I  only  wished  to  be  let 
alone  to  writhe  on  my  cross.  But  that  was  the  one 
thing  he  would  not  do;  either  because  his  conscience 
troubled  him,  or  because  he  was  afraid  to  lose  the 
results  of  my  studies.  Wherever  I  went,  he  pursued  me. 
He  insisted  I  was  jealous  of  him ;  and  this  I  did  not 
resent,  for  1  saw  that  this  belief  was  necessary  to  his 
conceit.  Would  jealousy  be  likely  in  me,  who  had 
repeatedly  sacrificed  my  worldly  advantages  for  ideal 
causes?  Yet  I  prayed  for  him  daily,  to  th^  end  fulfilling 


A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CONTINENTS    35 

the  sacrificial  role  to  which,  even  as  a  child,  Providence 
had  called  me. 

"Thus  I  felt  I  was  in  an  impasse,  from  which  there 
was  no  exit  except  by  dropping  all  the  entangled  re- 
searches of  my  life,  and  devoting  myself  on  the  battle- 
field to  the  cause  of  humanity's  democracy.  However 
small,  I  would  be  rendering  some  definite  service  in  a 
recognized  manner." 

"But  this  really  meant  abandonment  and  failure  in 
these  earlier  efforts?"  sympathized  Orchid. 

"Yes,"  whispered  I,  as  if  it  were  a  secret  from 
myself. 

"But  possibly  the  failure  may  not  be  so  great  as  you 
think,"  reflected  she.  "Perhaps  your  preservation  to 
our  modern  times  was  a  deferred  answer  to  your  pray- 
ers for  knowledge  of  the  truth,  only  in  a  way  you  did 
not  anticipate !" 

"Perhaps,"  mused  I,  tears  dimming  my  vision. 

"At  least  you  can  use  these  experiences  in  this 
manner." 

"I  can,"  said  I,  feeling  as  if  I  was  taking  a  crusader's 
vow,  "and  I  will !" 

"And  I  will  help  you!"  cried  she  with  sympathetic 
enthusiasm.   "I  can  be  thy  friend." 

So  she  took  my  hand,  and  kissed  it,  and  offered  me 
hers.  For  a  minute  I  stood  aghast.  I  remembered  that 
in  French,  Italian,  Spanish  and  German  there  had  even 
in  my  day  existed  that  difference  between  the  formal 
"you"  and  the  intimate  "thou,"  preserved  in  English 
by  the  Quakers,  which  was  begun  when  social  relations 
became  personal.  My  momentary  hesitation,  due  to 
failure  to  understand  that  such  was  also  the  modern 
manner  of  celebrating  a  compact  of  friendship,  might 
have  angered  a  maiden  of  the  nineteenth  century;  but 
in  the  twenty-first  there  were  no  such  petty  feelings. 
Besides,  Orchid  had  mothered  me  so  long  that  sfie 
understood  the  real  cause  of  my  apparent  failure  to 


36       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

appreciate  her  advances,  and  with  an  infinitely  tender 
glance  she  assured  me  it  was  perfectly  proper. 

When  I  did  so,  I  was  almost  made  sorry;  for  in 
my  unregenerate  old-world  notions  I  of  course  from 
ancient  habits  unintentionally  drew  near  to  her.  But 
she  gently  withdrew,  shaking  her  head  comically,  and 
threatening  me  with  her  index  finger. 

"Till  to-morrow  evening!"  she  laughed,  as  she  flut- 
tered away. 


CHAPTER  VII 

STANDARD  OIL  METHODS 

As  in  the  old  times,  the  waking  up  in  the  matter-of- 
fact  sunlight,  with  the  memory  of  a  romance  begun  in 
the  moonlight,  caused  a  readjustment  in  my  world-rela- 
tions.  Was  it  not  a  dream? 

Then  I  was  overwhelmed  by  its  inevitable  significance 
for  my  earlier  romance  with  my  wife  and  children  — 
but  all  that  was  of  the  long-distant  past ;  and  I  mourned 
their  loss. 

Again  I  was  consoled  by  the  reflection  of  how  fortun- 
ate it  was  for  me,  a  stray  waif  in  entirely  different  sur- 
roundings, to  have  found  even  a  single  hand  of  friend- 
ship extended.  Henceforward  I  was  no  more  merely 
a  museum  curiosity,  but  a  citizen  of  the  new  age.  Like 
all  other  really  good  things,  it  had  come  by  the  free 
gift  of  divine  grace,  not  by  any  arrogant  merit  of  mine ; 
and  I  thanked  Providence  that  this  tender  bond  was 
not  with  a  Potiphar's  wife,  but  with  so  charming  a 
maiden  as  Orchid.  She,  with  her  slender  grace,  her 
regular  features,  her  distinction,  became  to  me  a  rep- 
resentative of  modern  times  and  lent  to  my  admiration 
a  semi-religious  note  of  personal  worship. 

You  may  therefore  imagine  how  eagerly  in  the  morn- 
ing I  awaited  her  usual  appearance ;  and  how  disap- 
pointed and  even  anxious  I  grew  when  she  came  in 
only  very  late,  with  an  unmistakable  air  of  agitation, 


38       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

not  without  an  unaccustomed  note  of  resolve,  and  with 
a  tinge  of  the  embarrassment  that  I  had  imagined  had 
disappeared  from  the  heart  of  humanity  during  the  cen- 
tury of  my  sleep. 

This  alarmed  me,  for  I  feared  that  our  new  relation 
of  friendship  would  be  repudiated.  My  hesitation  must 
have  been  betrayed  by  my  features,  for  she  said  at 
once,  "No,  friend,  there  is  no  cause  for  anxiety  about 
our  compact,  on  my  side.  Indeed,  it  is  dearer  to  me 
than  ever,"  —  and  I  interrupted  her,  taking  her  willing 
hands  in  mine,  though  she  released  herself,  blushing. 
"No,  you  do  not  understand  why.  The  things  that  have 
happened  since  we  pledged  friendship,  might  have  pre- 
vented it.  I  am  glad  of  it,  for  it  will  help  me  to  face 
the  new  situation  more  fruitfully.  But  they  will  prob- 
ably interrupt  the  restful  course  of  events  that  have 
been  transpiring  here." 

I  pressed  for  an  explanation  of  what  had  developed ; 
but  her  evident  unwillingness  bade  me  desist.  She  was 
anxious  to  avoid  a  lengthy  recital  of  events,  lest  this 
arouse  in  me  feelings  whose  physical  effect  might  pre- 
vent the  moonlight  interview  we  had  planned  for  that 
night. 

"To-night  you  must  communicate  to  me  all  the 
details  of  your  former  existence,  so  that  if  possible  we 
may  discover  any  descendants  of  yours.  Before  last 
night,  I  would  have  said,  in  order  to  get  into  a  living 
touch  with  those  far-off  times;  but  since  then,   .    .   .'* 

"Go  on!"  I  gently  urged,  as  she  hesitated. 

"I  wish  to  know  all  about  the  circumstances  of  my 
friend!"  completed  she,  with  blushful  dignity. 

"I  thank  thee!"  murmured  I,  responsively ;  "I  also 
wish  my  friend  to  be  conversant  with  my  dear  family. 
That  is  the  most  delicate  compliment  thou  couldst  have 
paid  me,  to  love  my  dear!  ones ;  and  I  too  shall  be  made 
happier  thereby." 

She  smiled  sadly.   "There  are  also  other  reasons  why 


STANDARD  OIL  METHODS  39 

to-night's  talk  may  become  momentous  to  thy,  —  no, 
to  our  destinies.  It  may  prove  our  last  unhampered 
meeting" — and  the  steely  glint  returned  into  her  eyes, 
—  "for  the  present,  at  least;  and  the  future  is  uncertain. 
During  this  day,  therefore,  I  wish  you  to  prepare  your- 
self for  it  by  reviving  every  incident,  date  and  address 
in  your  memory  clarifying  every  detail,  that  the  in- 
formation may  be  as  practical  as  possible,  and  that  we 
waste  none  of  the  limited  time  at  our  disposal."  — 

The  anticipation  of  this  event  therefore  assumed 
the  solemnity  of  a  eucharistic  celebration,  which  is  a 
memorial  of  deeds  of  olden  times,  to  inspire  future 
improvement.  At  the  fated  hour  I  was  awaiting  her 
on  the  balcony,  whiling  away  the  time  in  contemplation 
of  the  rainbow  sunset  drama.  A  Hght  touch  on  the 
shoulder  apprised  me  of  her  arrival,  and  to  my  eagerly 
extended  hand  responded  hers.  Then  she  sat  down 
beside  me,  took  out  index  cards  (in  the  new  age  all 
sheets  of  paper  were  of  standardized  form  and  size)  and 
indelible  pencil  (that  writes  and  erases  as  easily  as  the 
old  lead  variety,  and  yet  never  smears  or  blurs),  and 
noted  minutely  all  the  details  I  could  give  of  my  own 
family,  my  girl-wife,  my  two-years  old  "Bunny,"  and 
the  eight  months  old  "Dicky."  Then  I  had  to  give  all 
the  details  about  my  brother's  family,  and  his  two 
grown  daughters. 

When  I  had  finished,  I  was  very  melancholy;  and  on 
being  asked  the  reason,  I  analyzed  my  feehngs.  I  de- 
cided that  it  was  because  of  the  meanness  of  those  now 
distant  times. 

"What  signifies  'meanness'?"  objected  Orchid.  "Was 
yours  not  a  great  age?  Did  they  not  build  immense 
buildings?  Railroads,  gigantic  and  rapid,  even  twice  as 
heavy  as  necessary?  Telegraphs,  telephones,  automo- 
biles, steamers,  and  so  forth?" 

"Surely,"  responded  I,  "and  of  paper  too."  Then  I 
spoke  of  the  golden  ager  of  the  world,  the  silver  age, 


40       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

and  the  iron  age ;  and  added  that  we  used  to  call  ours 
the  paper  age,  because  of  the  meanness  and  underhand 
practices  of  our  times,  that  had  devised  soulless  corpora- 
tions to  avoid  the  problems  of  conscience.  Law  had 
become  a  means  of  enjoying  the  fruits  of  others'  labors; 
and  diplomacy  and  "tact"  were  the  most  important 
traits  that  earned  success.  For  instance,  Jay  Gould  had 
wrecked  the  Erie  railroad  by  suborning  justices  in  every 
county  from  New  York  to  Chicago,  it  had  been  said; 
and  the  inevitable  aggregation  of  the  oil-business  was 
accomplished  only  by  the  most  dishonorable  methods, 
which  at  one  time  were  exposed  by  Ida  Tarbell.  The 
finance  of  our  times  was  obviously  frenzied,  in  which 
the  bonds  of  a  railroad  were  frequently  the  only  real 
money  put  in,  and  the  stock  was  mostly  water;  then 
fares  had  to  be  raised  to  keep  the  corporation  from 
whining  bankruptcy !  An  inventor  usually  starved,  while 
the  success  went  to  the  promoter. 

"But  none  of  that  was  in  private  life,  surely!"  com- 
forted Orchid. 

"That  was  the  very  place  where  that  meanness  was 
the  most  successful.  I  shall  give  you  just  three  anec- 
dotes of  personal  experiences  of  a  friend  of  mine  to 
characterize  the  kind  of  people  who  were  successful  in 
my  day.  His  elder  brother  was  successful,  as  the  world 
counts;  and  he  earned  it  in  the  following  ways.  To 
understand  the  humor  of  the  situation  you  must  know 
that  he  was  the  rector  of  an  old  church  with  a  heavy 
endowment,  from  which,  together  with  outside  lecture 
sources,  he  derived  over  ten  thousand  dollars  a  year. 
My  friend,  on  the  contrary,  spent  his  chief  time  study- 
ing, earned  but  a  pittance  at  the  most  painful  occupa- 
tion possible,  and  did  what  religious  work  was  open  to 
him  without  pay,  for  the  love  of  God. 

"Well,  when  my  friend  married,  he  sent  an  invitation 
to  his  rich  brother,  —  who  had  been  in  the  city  a  few 
days  before,  and  about  three  days  later  came  in  to  a 


STANDARD  OIL  METHODS  41 

funeral.  But  to  the  wedding  he  did  not  come;  and 
when  told  his  absence  had  been  regretted,  he  countered, 
"Why  did  you  not  have  it  some  day  when  I  would  be 
in  town?"  Of  course,  he  did  not  send  any  wedding- 
gift;  but  a  year  and  a  half  later  he  said  to  my  friend 
and  his  wife,  'Really,  I  have  recently  become  very 
anxious  about  you  people  down  there.  Something 
ought  to  be  done  for  you.  Now  I  have  a  plan.  Last 
year,  at  the  mission,  the  ladies  gathered  coupons,  and 
as  one  of  the  men  connected  with  them  worked  in  a 
piano  factory,  he  was,  by  these  coupons,  enabled  to  get 
a  piano  gratuitously  for  the  mission.  Now,  next  year, 
if  the  ladies  continue  to  gather  coupons  and  if  that 
man  remains  in  his  position,  perhaps  I  can  get  for 
nothing  another  piano,  and  you  could  have  it  as  a 
wedding  present.'  Could  Dickens  have  invented  better? 
"Again.  He  used  to  hold  a  Sunday  four  o'clock 
afternoon  service,  at  which  the  advertising  feature  was 
a  contribution  from  non-Christian  sources,  — for  which, 
by  the  bye,  he,  who  himself  had  made  no  first-hand 
studies,  had  gotten  the  inspiration  and  many  materials 
from  the  younger  brother,  who  had  remained  unknown 
because  of  the  many  years  spent  patiently  in  libraries 
and  universities.  Now  about  once  a  year  he  would 
suddenly  be  called  away  on  some  important  engage- 
ment, and  would  insist  on  the  younger  brother  coming 
to  take  the  service,  because,  said  he,  'You  are  the  only 
one  who  can  do  that  work ;'  which  reason,  by  the  way, 
was  slightly  humorous,  and  not  very  complimentary. 
Now  whenever  he  got  anyone  to  take  his  morning 
service,  he  paid  him  no  less  than  twenty-five  dollars ; 
and  at  the  four  o'clock  lecture,  he  used  to  pay  eighteen. 
The  younger  brother  did  not  expect  any  pay,  on 
account  of  the  fraternal  relation ;  but  it  seemed  rather 
unworthy  to  be  treated  anonymously.  On  writing  that 
he  asked  no  money,  nor  any  other  courtesy  beyond 
what   would   be   given   to   any  other  visitor,  he  was 


42       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

answered  that  it  was  not  the  habit  of  the  parish  to 
announce  the  name  of  any  visiting  clergyman  (which 
of  course  did  not  happen  to  be  true)  ;  and  that  my 
friend  had  made  a  mistake.  He  had  not  been  asked  to 
take  the  service.  The  rector  only  said  that  if  he  had 
nothing  better  to  do  that  afternoon,  and  if  he  chanced 
to  be  in  the  neighborhood,  or  if  it  gave  him  any 
pleasure,  he  was  welcome  to  come  in  and  take  the 
service !" 

"Once,  the  younger  brother  told  his  elder  that  he 
was  content  not  to  avenge  himself,  leaving  his  wrongs 
to  be  righted  by  divine  judgment.  'Judgment,'  laughed 
the  elder,  'is  an  obsolete  Semitic  delusion.  The  only 
way  to  get  along  is  to  do  what  you  want.  Half  the 
world  are  fools,  and  will  forget ;  the  other  half  are 
Christians,  and  are  bound  to  forgive.  So  why  worry? 
To  begin  with,  I  never  make  any  mistakes ;  but  if 
anything  unpleasant  happens,  I  put  it  out  of  my  mind, 
and  do  something  more  pleasant  next  time;  and  so  I 
succeed.'  Strangely,  or  rather  significantly,  he  had 
gone  through  a  period  of  admiration  of  Nietzsche." 

Then  I  summarized  to  Orchid.  "I  should  say  that 
the  first  incident  represented  a  lack  of  honor;  the 
second,  a  lack  of  justice ;  and  the  third,  a  lack  of  con- 
science. Now  what  I  want  to  know  is  this,  would 
such  'Standard  Oil'  methods  be  still  possible  in  these 
modern  times?" 

"I  am  at  a  loss  to  answer,"  frankly  smiled  my  com- 
panion ;  "for  the  question  involves  both  social  condi- 
tions, and  human  nature.  In  one  respect,  of  course, 
human  nature  has  not  changed.  Men  are  born  with 
types  of  character  as  well  defined  as  ever.  But  they 
have  been  altered  by  a  heredity  improved  through  the 
social  betterments  of  several  generations;  and  in  new 
social  conditions,  better  suited  to  human  nature,  human 
character  does  not  become  deformed  as  it  used  to  be. 
The  reason  of  this  is  that  not  even  to-day  is  human 


STANDARD  OIL  METHODS  43 

nature  strong  enough  to  act  up  to  its  possibilities  in 
sinecures,  or  without  any  checks.  Even  to-day  it  is 
necessary  to  preach  the  cross,  as  the  power  and  wisdom 
of  God.  ResponsibiHty  acts  as  the  fly-wheel  on  an 
engine,  making  it  run  smooth  and  continuously.  You 
see,  virtues  are  the  results  of  good  habits;  and  habits 
result  from  exactness  of  repetition ;  so  that  without 
control  character  is  impossible.  That  is  why  divineness 
of  soul  will  never  outgrow  the  cross,  or  self-control; 
although  we  may  anticipate  that  gradually  strengthen- 
ing character  may  succeed  with  less  and  less  discipline. 
On  the  whole,  however,  apart  from  this  steady  im- 
provement, the  element  of  human  nature  has  changed 
but  little. 

"The  greater  part  of  change,  therefore,  if  any,  must 
be  dependent  on  improvement  of  social  conditions. 
People  of  your  times  were  proud  of  having  made  an 
end  of  slavery ;  but  you  left  man  wallowing  in  the  bog 
of  the  heartless  individualism  in  which  the  devil  took 
the  hind-most.  This  resulted  in  monstrous  character- 
growths  comparable  only  to  the  misshapen  growths  of 
ocean-depths,  where  no  sunlight  ever  penetrated.  Men 
even  became  proud  of  these  deformities,  and  spoke  of 
them  as  individualities,  never  suspecting  they  were 
merely  abnormalities.  No  one  can  safely  do  without 
the  cross ;  and  the  higher  the  position,  the  more  dan- 
gerous is  it,  the  greater  the  need  of  the  sanifying  in- 
fluence of  voluntary  self-surrender. 

"Men  after  all  were  not  so  much  to  blame,  for  the 
social  problem  was  almost  insoluble.  They  had  to 
succeed  in  a  world  of  competition,  where  the  devil  took 
the  hind-most ;  and  yet  they  had  to  deceive  themselves 
into  thinking  they  were  following  the  counsels  of  per- 
fection of  the  Sermon  on  the  Mount.  They  had  to  be 
as  harmless  as  a  dove,  and  yet  as  wise  as  a  serpent; 
which,  as  Beecher  used  to  say,  was  the  harder  proposi- 
tion. There  was  one  refuge,  hypocrisy ;  of  which  a  good 


44       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

example  was  Tolstoi,  who  could  afford  to  amuse  him- 
self at  cobbling  because  his  wife  and  son  administered 
the  estate  with  sufficient  prudence  to  keep  him  from 
starving.  Those  who  were  not  hypocrites  had  a  hard 
time  of  it,  and  many  failed  to  preserve  the  golden  mean. 
Diplomacy  such  as  that  of  which  you  have  given  me 
the  examples  were  only  miserable  makeshifts,  pitiable 
in  the  extreme. 

"Since  the  establishment  of  equal  opportunities  and 
eflficiency  classification,  together  with  social  responsi- 
bility, men  neither  can,  nor  desire  to  oppress  each 
other.  Such  lacks  of  honor,  justice  and  conscience  as 
you  have  instanced,  have  become  so  unnecessary,  as 
well  as  so  unprofitable,  that  they  would  not  be  likely 
to  occur  except  as  result  of  wilful  depravity,  which 
would  be  sternly  repressed  by  promotion  to  the  re- 
formatory.'* 


CHAPTER  VIII 

AN  UNEXPECTED   FAREWELL 

"But,"  continued  she,  "p^^Y  excuse  me  from  such  side 
issues,  where  your  own  fate  hangs  in  the  balance !" 

This  impHcation  of  personal  interest  was  to  me  as 
sweet  as  a  mistress's  avowal  of  love.  A  touch  of  her 
dear  hand  repressed  the  words  that  came  to  my  lips. 
"Listen,"  urged  she,  the  time  is  very  short.  Even  so 
I  cannot  tell  you  all ;  and  should  you  ever,"  and  here 
she  gazed  at  me  with  the  pathos  of  a  fawn  pleading 
for  its  life, — "feel  that  in  any  way  I  have  not  treated 
you  fairly,"  —  I  protested,  but  with  tears  she  compelled 
my  silence — "think  of  me  the  best  you  can;  remember 
that  you  yourself  have  made  much  that  I  would  have 
wished  to  do  impossible ;  although"  —  and  here  her 
comparatively  plain  face  beamed  with  a  glow  that 
shines  in  human  faces  but  once  or  twice  in  a  life-time, 
when  destiny  beckons  through  the  windows  of  the 
eyes, — "you  too  have  revealed  to  me  possibilities  till 
now  unknown  ..."  and  a  catch  in  her  throat  com- 
pelled her  to  pause,  as  at  the  theophany  in  a  temple, 
after  the  benediction  occurs  a  silence  to  render  audible 
the  music  of  the  spheres. 

"It  does  not  matter  what  happens,  I  shall  believe  in 
you!"  cried  I. 

"Don't,  —  yes,  do !"  responded  she,  looking  around 
furtively,   then  she  broke   into  tears.      But   soon  she 

4S 


46       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

gathered  herself  together.  "I  shall  not  say  anything 
more,"  added  she.  "You  will  have  to  take  your  chances. 
I  must  be  going  in  a  few  minutes;  he  must  not  find 
me  here,  —  not  in  this  condition  at  least,"  stammered 
she,  agitated  and  trembling;  the  heaving  of  her  breast 
testifying  to  her  sincerity. 

"Who  is  he?"  demanded  I. 

"Why,  my  .    .    .  brother,  Dr.  Policiver." 

Then  for  the  first  time  I  realized  how  selfish  I  had 
been.  Patient  though  I  was,  it  was  my  nurse  who  most 
needed  a  defender.  "Why  fear  your  brother?"  She 
blanched.  I  continued,  "Why,  I  thought  that  in  these 
modern  times  such  false  situations  could  not  exist?" 

"We  are  not  perfect  yet,  by  any  means!"  mumbled 
she  low.  She  seemed  to  be  evading  me  with  verbiage. 
"We  think  we  have  solved  many  problems ;  but  one  of 
our  clearest  achievements  is  that  we  have  defined  our 
ignorance,  much  of  which  may  perhaps  never  find  entire 
illumination  in  this  worldly  existence   ..." 

It  was  my  turn  now  to  urge  haste.  I  pressed  her 
hand,  and  stopped  her.  "Leave  all  this  to  some  other 
time.  Tell  me  clearly  why  you  are  afraid.  Perhaps  I 
can  help.    Are  we  not  aUies?" 

Ruefully  she  smiled,  shook  her  head,  and  compressed 
her  lips. 

"Well,  if  you  will  not  talk,  will  you  answer  a  few 
questions?" 

"The  best  I  can !"  answered  she. 

"To  begin  with,  who  are  you?  How  did  you  come 
to  be  connected  with  me?  Who  is  he?" 

"One  question  at  a  time.  It  is  to  the  skill  of  Dr. 
Policiver  that  you  owe  your  resuscitation.  He  invented 
the  serum  that  cured  the  sleeping  sickness  with  which 
the  Germans  had  infected  you.  He  came  here  to  watch 
over  you,"  she  lool<ed  over  her  shoulder  as  if  apprehen- 
sive of  being  overheard,  —  ''and  to  insure  your  re- 
covery." 


AN  UNEXPECTED  FAREWELL  47 

^  "In  that  case  he  is  my  benefactor ;  yet,  judging  from 
his  expression,  I  should  not  consider  him  my  friend. 
He  glowers  at  me  with  a  gesture  of  ownership,  like  a 
hawk;  of  malevolence,  like  a  vampire." 

Orchid  clapped  her  hand  over  my  mouth,  and  spoke 
as  if  on  purpose  to  be  overheard,  "It  is  a  wise  man  who 
knows  his  friends;  you  owe  him  your  consciousness; 
never  forget  that  debt,"  — ■  then  m  a  hurried  whisper, 
"but  guard  yourself  from  him." 

It  dawned  on  me  that  probably  we  were  not  alone ; 
I  remembered  having  heard  of  detectophones,  and  I 
also  scanned  my  surroundings.  "No,  I  will  not,"  I 
answered  guardedly ;  "but  neither  will  I  forget  that  it 
was  you  wLo  willingly  offered  your  life-blood  to  effect 
my  renewed  lease  on  life!" 

Orchid  blushed,  and  pressed  my  hand.  "I  shall  be 
glad  if  you  will  employ  that  gratitude  in  allowing  me 
to  guide  you  in  any  emergency  that  may  arise"  —  in 
the  same  uncanny  whisper,  —  "but  never  forget  to 
judge  for  yourself!" 

"That  too  I  can  promise,"  retorted  I  without  mental 
reservations. 

"If  you  are  sincere,"  she  said  evenly  enough,  though 
her  mild  gleaming  eyes  assumed  a  hunted  look,  "then 
let  me  prepare  you  for  your  ordeal  to-morrow. 

"The  physicians  who  are  to  examine  you  will  come 
in  the  interests  of  the  museum  in  which  you  slept  so 
long;  its  directors  fear  to  lose  the  management  of  your 
capital.  As  we  have  restored  you  to  health,  their  only 
hope  can  lie  in  making  you  sign  it  over  to  them ;  failing 
which,  they  would  find  it  to  their  advantage  to  have 
you  declared  mentally  incompetent.  You  may  easily 
imagine  that  they  are  not  likely  to  leave  you  in  the 
charge  of  us  who,  almost  in  spite  of  them,  revived  you, 
and  here  have  restored  you." 

"Do  you  mean  that  we  are  to  be  permanently  sep- 
arated?" faltered  I. 


48       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

"I  cannot  tell,"  drawled  she  slowly.  "We  will  if  they 
can  have  their  way.  They  have  us  in  this  position : 
until  they  have  declared  you  competent,  you  would  be 
unable  to  execute  any  legal  deed." 

"Do  you  think  they  will  do  this?" 

"Not  if  they  succeed  in  keeping  your  money." 

"Will  they  succeed  in  this?" 

"They  will  likely  hold  on  to  the  most  of  it." 

"But  what  about  you?" 

"That  is  the  very  point  at  issue,"  returned  she  medi- 
tatively. "We  do  not  know  whether  you  are  to  be 
returned  to  our  care,  or  are  to  be  released,  to  act  on 
your  own  initiative." 

"Then  I  would  return  at  once !"  I  flashed  back  loyally. 

My  companion  smiled  indulgently.  "But  we  might 
not  be  here !"  Then,  after  a  pause,  slowly,  as  if  weighing 
her  words,  "And  even  if  we  were,  circumstances  over 
which,  as  you  may  well  think,  I  have  no  control,  might 
make  your  return  impossible." 

"What  do  you  advise  me  to  do?" 

"The  best  would  be  to  get  all  you  can,  at  once,  as 
spending  money.  Draw  out  the  discussion  as  long  as 
possible,  and  in  the  meanwhile  hide  away  as  much  of 
it  as  you  can  capture." 

"But  with  my  inexperience  ..." 

"Well  if  you  think  you  can  trust  me,  I  will  try  and 
hide  it  for  you.    We  will  meet  as  necessary,  and  ..." 

"That  will  be  splendid!"  cried  I,  enthusiastically. 

"But  it  will  not  be  easy." 

"We  will  manage ;  tell  me  how !" 

Orchid  smiled  at  my  childish  delight.  "That  is  the 
point.    Let  me  think  1" 

With  the  stupidity  that  rushes  in  where  angels  fear 
to  tread,  I  suggested  we  meet  at  church. 

She  laughed  good-naturedly.  "Why,  friend,  that  is 
the  most  carefully  registered  attendance  in  our  whole 
modern  lives !" 


AN  UNEXPECTED  FAREWELL  49 

I  suggested  the  country;  but  she  told  me  that  too 
would  be  inadvisable,  because  I  might  be  followed  by 
spies  from  the  museum  crowd.  She  continued,  "I  think 
the  wisest  plan  would  be  to  leave  that  to  circumstances, 
and  to  the  ingenuity  of  us  both.  Your  doings  will 
probably  be  in  the  public  eye,  and  the  museum  people 
may  be  compelled  to  call  in  Dr.  Policiver  to  a  consulta- 
tion. In  the  meanwhile,  we  must  separate,  or  you  will 
not  be  ready  for  the  trying  ordeal  before  you;  and 
remember  that  its  issue  will  depend  on  your  not  giving 
them  the  least  loophole  for  an  adverse  decision.  You 
had  better  retire,  and  be  as  fresh  as  possible  in  the 
morning." 

"I  shall  pray  for  divine  guidance,"  assented  I;  "but 
I  shall  also  not  leave  before  thou  renewest  thy  pledge 
of  friendship."  I  took  her  hand,  kissed  it,  and  trustfully 
offered  her  mine  for  a  reciprocatory  salutation. 

Then  happened  two  unexpected  things.  First,  she 
did  not  at  once  do  her  part.  She  paled,  flushed,  and 
turned  away.  She  burst  into  tears.  As  I  insisted,  she 
complied; — and  at  that  very  moment  into  the  balcony, 
furiously  burst  Dr.  Policiver,  who  without  any  courtesy 
of  address  barked: 

"I  have  some  matters  to  discuss  with  you,  if  you 
will  permit  me  to  replace  your  more  agreeable  com- 
panion.    Orchid,  you  better  retire." 

Orchid  retired ;  hesitatingly  at  first ;  then  she  shot 
at  me  a  friendly  glance  and  was  gone ;  and  I  despised 
myself  for  not  rising  and  doing  my  best  to  administer 
a  thrashing  to  the  brute,  for  his  insolence  to  her ;  but 
his  cold  seriousness  swayed  us  both. 

"To-morrow  morning  you  are  to  be  visited  by  officials 
of  the  museum  in  which  you  slept  so  long;  and  it  is 
to  their  interest  to  declare  you  mentally  incompetent. 
They  will  no  doubt  try  to  confuse  you,  a  good  oppor- 
tunity for  which  will  probably  be  afforded  by  your 
strangeness  among  our  modern  conditions.      Orchid 


50       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

has  no  doubt  done  her  best  to  initiate  you  therein,  but 
if  you  have  any  further  problem  on  which  you  desire 
light,  I  am  at  your  service." 

I  could  think  of  no  questions  I  would  be  willing 
to  ask  him;  but  I  thought  it  would  be  good  policy  to 
"pump"  him.  "Have  you  any  general  directions  to. 
guide  me?" 

"Yes,"  said  he.  "Speak  little,  and  that  slowly..  Make. 
as  little  as  you  can  of  your  earlier  experiences.  Remem- 
ber that  to  them  the  civilization  of  your  age  seems 
medieval  savagery.  Express  a  desire  to  learn  their 
views,  and  make  yourself  useful.  Do  not  let  them 
even  suspect  we  have  told  you  of  the  conditions  of  the 
Parker  bequest.  Express  anxiety  as  to  how  to  earn 
your  living,  and  it  is  possible  they  may  prefer  your 
co-operation,  if  they  think  they  have  won  your  con- 
fidence." 

"If  they  ask  about  Orchid  .  .  .  ."  miserably 
pleaded  I. 

"Say  your  nurse  did  her  duty;  nothing  more.  You 
will  not  see  her  again,  for  she  leaves  to-night." 

Involuntarily  I  trembled ;  and  though  my  interlocu- 
tor never  abandoned  his  strictly  business  attitude,  I 
detected  in  his  voice  a  note  of  relief,  or  satisfaction. 
"The  less  you  seem  to  know  about  her,  the  better.  As 
to  me,  you  should  feel  gratitude  for  my  reanimating 
you;  and  though  my  guardianship  ends  with  your 
removal  to  the  city,  and  though  they  may  try  to  get 
along  without  my  professional  services"  —  here  he 
chuckled  almost  inaudibly,  —  "it  is  not  impossible  they 
may  be  compelled  to  call  on  them.  However"  —  in  a 
nasty  tone  of  proprietorship,  —  "you  need  not  fear 
that  I  will  lose  sight  of  you ;  and  when  you  have 
received  their  endorsement  as  to  mental  competence, 
I  will  then,  on  your  behalf,  start  formal  legal  proceed- 
ings for  the  possession  of  the  small  legacy  Mrs.  Parker 
made  you  to  care  for  any  need  of  yours  on  reawaken- 


AN  UNEXPECTED  FAREWELL  51 

ing.  To  be  able  to  do  this  for  you,  I  shall  need  a  power 
of  attorney,  which  I  have  ready  for  your  signature." 

He  pushed  the  document,  with  an  indelible  pencil, 
right  under  my  nose,  and  in  a  manner  so  natural  that 
resistance,  even  though  possible,  was  out  of  the  ques- 
tion. After  all,  he  was  much  more  anxious  about  it, 
than  I  was ;  I  little  cared  about  wealth,  so  long  as  I  had 
life;  and  besides  it  was  undeniable  that  I  owed  him  an 
almost  unrequitable  debt;  so  I  signed  the  document, 
and  he  returned  it  to  his  pocket. 

After  a  few  further  general  recommendations,  he 
bade  me  good-night,  giving  me  an  appointment  for  the 
next  morning,  when  he  was  to  come  to  me.  On  the 
tip  of  my  tongue,  of  course,  was  the  question,  when  I 
might  hope  once  more  to  meet  my  gentle  friend;  but 
his  tone  was  so  dry  and  unsympathetic  there  was  ab- 
solutely no  opening  for  it.  So  he  left  me,  and  I  felt 
defeated,  lonely,  and  in  danger. 

Till  then,  I  had  not  realized  how  very  much  our 
sanity  depends  on  our  social  surroundings.  If  I  could 
have  gone  backwards  five  thousand  years,  and  have 
witnessed  the  troglodytic  period,  I  would  not  have  felt 
so  very  strange,  conscious  as  I  would  have  been  of  my 
superior  civilization.  Among  brutes  I  would  have  felt 
like  a  god.  But  to  be  considered  a  savage,  was  a  very 
different  situation !  Nor  was  it  merely  a  matter  of  feel- 
ings; it  was  a  serious  question  of  survival,  of  having 
to  "make  good"    ...   for  the  sake  of  my  "friend." 

Indeed,  I  might  have  not  cared  enough  about  the 
matter  even  to  try  to  make  good,  had  this  not  very 
probably  involved  the  possibility  of  ever  again  seeing 
Orchid;  of  reassuring  her  as  to  my  grateful  loyalty, 
and  resuming  settled  relations  with  her  .  .•  .  more 
than  that  a  savage  of  an  earlier  era  might  perhaps  not 
dare  to  expect. 

The  doctor  was  evidently  in  a  mood  to  prevent  any 
farewell;  and  she  was  clearly  so  much  in  his  power  that 


52       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

she  would  make  no  attempt  to  defy  him,  but  no  doubt 
she  would  use  her  female  ingenuity. 

As  I  was  helpless,  I  had  to  leave  everything  to  her; 
so  I  stayed  on  the  balcony,  hoping  the  impossible. 

Not  long  after,  indeed,  I  heard  steps  at  the  door. 
Two  figures  stepped  into  a  motor  tricycle,  and  silently 
disappeared;  but  not  before  one  of  them,  which  must 
have  been  Orchid,  turned  around,  and  waved  farewell. 


CHAPTER  IX 
MEDICINE  AND  OUTFITS 

The  next  morning  after  my  toilet  I  went  down  into 
the  garden  to  work  at  the  flower-beds.  This  exercise 
created  a  need  for  breakfast,  which  was  then  enjoyed. 
In  my  days  this  meal  was  consumed  before  any  need 
of  it,  so  that  especially  in  America,  where  the  heavy 
meat  breakfast  was  in  vogue,  people  made  of  them- 
selves animated  lunch-bags.  Was  it  any  wonder  that 
millions  were  amassed  by  makers  of  mandrake  pills 
and  candy  cathartics? 

After  breakfast  I  was  called  in  to  my  examination. 
I  had  expected  to  find  physicians  of  my  medieval  times, 
arrayed  in  frock  coats,  with  stethoscopes,  glasses,  silk 
hats,  and  gold  fobs.  On  the  contrary  I  met  a  man  and 
woman  garbed  in  the  universal  khaki  uniform,  whose 
examination  perhaps  might  be  all  the  more  dangerous 
for  not  putting  me  on  my  guard.  They  were  pleasant- 
spoken,  sensible,  and  business-like. 

Apparently  medicine,  hygiene,  physiology  and  cura- 
tive psychology  had  also  been  systematized  and  stan- 
dardized, for  the  chief  work  of  these  medicos  consisted 
in  filling  out  minute  official  symptom-lists,  test  ques- 
tions, and  the  like,  so  that  the  diagnosis  made  itself, 
without  individual  equation.  No  more  happy-go-lucky 
bluff,  fads  and  fancies !  The  state  had  efficiently  adopted 
the  ancient  Chinese  method  of  paying  physicians  on  the 
basis  of  their  efficiency  in  maintaining  their  patients' 

53 


54       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

health,  rather  than  because  of  their  misfortunes.    To 
begin  with,  this  brought  into  ahgnment  the  interest  of 
both  parties,  which  is  the  logical  situation.    This  freed 
the  physician  from  the  embarrassing  situation  of  victim- 
izing  the   unfortunate,   and   the  patient   from   feeling 
resentment    and    suspicion    against    the    practitioner. 
Imaginary  maladies  had  disappeared,  and  yet  incipient 
disorders  were   corrected   before   they   could   become 
established,  both  because  the  patient  felt  free  at  any 
time  to  consult  a  physician,  and  the  physician  found 
it  to  his  interest  to  reach  the  cause,  not  merely  palliate 
the  efifects.     The  physician's  record  was  charged  with 
every  condition  he  allowed  to  become  chronic;  and  to 
disculpate  himself  he  had  to  prove  that  this  was  due 
to  the  patient's  wilfulness,  or  to  physical  malformation. 
Nowadays  the  physicians  were  as  averse  to  procuring 
temporary   relief   through   coal-tar   anodynes   as   they 
used  to  be  prone  to  administer  them,  for  they  were 
responsible  for  the  ultimate  results.      Of  course,  the 
patients  also   could   better   be   controlled,   for   in   the 
ancient   days  patients  rarely   returned  to  a  physician 
who  treated  the  cause ;  their  insistence  on  immediate 
relief  could  now  be  safely  refused.     While  in  my  day 
the  physician's  material  interest  lay  in  masking  symp- 
toms while  encouraging  the  disease,  now  it  was  the 
opposite.       General     enlightenment     had     persuaded 
patients  to  welcome  radical  treatment ;  and  this  was 
accepted  with  confidence,  for  the  nationalization  of  the 
service  had  eliminated  fear,  resentment,  suspicion  and 
overweening  individualism.     The  profession  itself  had 
been  purged  of  all  unworthy  practices ;  physicians  had 
no  reason  to  get  themselves  "called  out"  in  theatre  or 
church,  to  live  in  palaces  they  could  not  afford  or  waste 
time  in  swell  clubs,  not  to  mention  fraternal  organiza- 
tions,  or  politics.     The  foolish  duplication  inevitable 
with  competition,  which  in  my  day,  during  the  war,  had 
begun  to  be  eliminated  from  railroad  offices  and  deliv- 


MEDICINE  AND  OUTFITS  55 

ery  services,  had  also  been  applied  to  the  localization 
of  churches,  and  the  districtization  of  physicians,  as 
well  as  of  nurses. 

A  great  change  had  come  about  in  public  opinion. 
On  the  one  hand,  professional  invalids  and  society 
affectation  of  delicate  health  had  disappeared  before 
the  general  realization  that  sickness,  where  not  disgust- 
ing or  dangerous  to  others,  was  disreputable,  because 
it  gave  at  least  a  suggestion  of  incompetency.  Further, 
people  were  generally  ashamed  of  having  been  so  un- 
wise or  unlucky  as  to  contract  any  distressing  condition. 
On  the  other  hand  the  physicians  were  publicly  dis- 
graced at  the  development  of  aggravated  or  chronic 
conditions.  On  conviction  of  a  certain  number  of  cases 
of  negligence  or  lack  of  judgment,  their  pay  was 
reduced,  or  they  were  suspended  or  disbarred,  besides, 
their  mental  condition,  and  freedom  from  drug-addic- 
tion, was  carefully  observed.  In  my  days,  individualistic 
practice  of  medicine  was  irresponsible,  for  the  reason 
that  physicians'  mistakes  were  promptly  buried.  I 
remember  having  read  that  at  the  beginning  of  the 
German  world-war  out  of  a  batch  of  medical  volunteers 
to  the  army  service,  many  had  been  rejected  as  mentally 
irresponsible ;  and  unless  they  had  undergone  this 
scrutiny,  they  would  have  continued  to  practice  on  the 
lives  of  their  fellow-human  beings ;  and,  as  a  matter 
of  fact,  most  of  those  army-rejects  returned  to  "private 
practice." 

In  my  day  it  was  a  popular  joke  that  nobody  could 
escape  the  tax-gatherer  or  the  undertaker;  this  now 
applied  to  the  medical  treatment  of  each  case.  At  each 
inquest  the  medical  practitioner  was  on  the  defensive, 
and  on  him  lay  the  burden  of  proof  that  he  had  done 
his  duty.  Efficiency  had  invaded  the  profession,  which 
in  my  day  was  really  yet  in  its  swaddling-clothes,  labor- 
ing under  three  chief  obstacles :  professional  "cour- 
tesy," the  disagreement  as  to  remedies,  together  with 


56       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

prejudice  against  new  "schools"  of  thought,  and  the 
hap-hazard,  unsystematized  state  of  personal  hygienic 
rules  of  living,  which  in  my  day  the  Boards  of  Health 
had  only  started  to  organize  for  the  derelicts  of  the 
ghettos  only. 

Such  a  reorganization  on  the  lines  of  efficiency  of 
their  profession  was  of  course  at  first  considered  a 
degradation;  but  this  was  only  an  inevitable  stage  in 
the  march  of  progress.  For  instance,  historic  chivalry 
also  resented  being  ended  or  mended,  but  in  reality  its 
so  honorable — or  rather  dishonorable  —  knights  were 
no  more  than  glorified  highway-men,  thugs,  cut-throats 
and  brigands.  Another  instance  was  the  teaching  pro- 
fession of  my  days,  in  which  the  teachers  were  com- 
pelled to  undergo  successive  examinations  and  ap- 
provals, which  regulated  the  grade  of  salary.  While 
the  teachers  resented  it  as  slavery,  it  raised  the  average 
standard  of  the  profession.  Again,  in  the  various 
Protestant  sects  efficiency  resulted  in  a  heartless  crowd- 
ing out  of  incompetents;  but  the  soundness  of  the  prin- 
ciple was  proven  by  the  phenomenal  growth  of  those 
sects. 

Of  course,  such  a  principle  of  efficiency  demands  an 
organization  to  protect  and  dispose  of  the  inefficient. 
in  my  days,  the  latter  merely  starved;  but  in  modern 
times  this  was  impossible,  so  that  it  is  no  longer  neces- 
sary to  continue  in  office  the  incompetent,  out  of  com- 
passion for  them.  The  rejected  were  now  educated  for 
other  spheres  of  activity,  and  carefully  placed;  or,  if 
superannuated,  pensioned.  Nor  was  this  fate  any 
longer  feared,  but  rather  envied. 

The  ordeal  through  which  I  was  put  was  nothing 
accidental ;  it  consisted  of  what  might  have  been  called 
naturalization  proceedings,  just  as  in  the  Germany  of 
my  early  days,  every  human  being  was  carefully  card- 
indexed.  This  ordeal  was  naturally  divided  into  three 
parts,  physical,  mental,  and  spiritual,  if  this  word  may 


MEDICINE  AND  OUTFITS  57 

be  used  to  indicate  all  the  finer  ideal  elements  of  life. 

The  physical  part  was  much  more  intelligent  than  it 
used  to  be.  Useless  external  data  were  minimized,  but 
there  were  Bertillon  system  measurements,  thumb- 
prints, photographs,  and  the  like.  They  were  far  more 
exhaustive  in  notation  of  mental  reaction-time,  blood- 
reactions,  voice-records,  impressions  of  the  lines  in 
the  palms  of  the  hands,  and  of  the  soles  of  the  feet, 
and  many  other  details  which  in  my  happy-go-lucky 
days  were  either  neglected  or  ridiculed. 

The  mental  part  included  many  laboratory  tests,  for 
accuracy  and  color-vision.  These  universal  data  for  the 
first  time  formed  a  nucleus  of  facts  whose  inclusiveness 
gave  solidity  to  conclusions  which  in  my  day  were  only 
dependent  on  chance  selection.  The  "original  nature" 
of  the  human  being  had  in  this  way  been  ascertained, 
by  checking  off  the  whole  probable  list  for  each  indi- 
vidual. The  science  of  character-study  also  was  put  on 
a  scientific  basis.  From  historical  researches  twelve 
great  characteristic-complexes  or  trait-groups  had  been 
deduced,  and  those  had  been  fully  checked  off,  not  only 
positively  but  negatively,  for  every  individual,  with  the 
result  that  statistics  had  validated  what  before  was  only 
theory. 

The  spiritual  part  included  not  only  poetry,  phil- 
osophy, sociology,  but  also  religion,  especially  the 
religion  of  democracy.  No  compulsion  was  laid  on 
anybody,  but  evidently  a  vote  could  not  be  entrusted 
to  devotees  of  tyranny,  to  the  insane,  to  the  ignorant, 
or  to  the  criminal.  One  manhood  vote  was  given  to 
everybody,  so  as  to  avoid  anybody's  feeling  that  he 
was  slighted;  but  additional  votes  were  allowed  for 
qualifications  that  could  be  earned;  for  the  highest 
efficiency  rating,  for  education,  travel,  art-accomplish- 
ments, and  the  like.  This  examination  acted  as  a  sort 
of  outline  of  what  reading,  studying  and  artistic  culture 
was  still  possible  of  doing  for  the  candidate,  and  was 


58       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

the  greatest  possible  help  to  true  humility  and  high 
ideals.  To  each  qualification  was  added  the  name  of 
some  great  writer  who  had  therein  achieved  promi- 
nence, so  as  to  inspire  as  well  as  to  instruct. 

The  examination  revealed  to  me  a  better  balanced 
idea  of  manhood,  than  I  had  ever  before  conceived. 

At  the  conclusion  of  our  consultation  I  was  given  an 
identification  booklet,  which  fitted  exactly  in  the  coat's 
inner  breast-pocket,  and,  for  protection,  was  bound  in 
oil-cloth.  It  was  dated  at  the  last  equinox,  and  ran  to 
the  next ;  and  by  a  distinctive  color  could  at  a  glance 
differentiate  the  winter  from  the  summer  one.  On  the 
other  side,  the  age  was  also  revealed  by  color.  Each 
color  of  the  rainbow  indicated  one  particular  decade, 
and  the  color  of  the  printer's  ink  revealed  the  year 
within  that  decade,  so  that  a  person's  standing  was 
automatically  recorded. 

This  booklet  showed  attendance  at  rehgious  patriotic 
services,  elections,  and  other  state  functions  compulsory 
to  every  loyal  citizen.  The  book  contained  coupons 
that  would  be  dropped  into  a  box  at  the  entrance  into 
the  hall,  while  it  bore  marks  to  be  punched  as  receipts, 
to  check  any  possible  error. 

It  also  acted  as  a  bank-credit  slip,  which  could  be 
punched  for  the  amount  of  living  wage  consumed. 
This  currency  was  good  for  state  lodgings,  restau- 
rants, transportations,  theatre  entertainments,  dances, 
concerts,  clothing,  books,  and  every  other  physical 
necessity.  The  shape  of  the  punch  revealed  the  kind 
of  service  to  which  the  cancellation  referred. 

It  was  also  punched  for  the  amounts  earned  by  work 
of  any  kind,  any  sort  of  approved  day's  work  being 
reckoned  as  an  equivalent,  subject  to  the  three  grada- 
tions of  efficiency  ratings. 

The  wage  was  reckoned  on  the  physical,  social  and 
intellectual  needs  of  the  average  individual ;  and  as  no 
credit  could  be  carried  over  from  card  to  card  (except 


MEDICINE  AND  OUTFITS  59 

certain  details  on  the  life-card,  such  as  the  round-the- 
world  trip,  pilgrimage,  and  other  things  done  only 
once  in  one's  lifetime),  there  was  no  incentive  to 
hoard,  and  no  merit  in  miserliness.  The  result  was 
the  first  real  democracy  I  had  ever  seen.  In  appear- 
ance, people  generally  presented  a  general  equality. 
This  was  by  no  means  a  leveHng  down,  but  on  the 
contrary,  a  leveling  up;  for  while  the  well-to-do 
remained  the  same,  those  whose  living  had  been  pre- 
carious now  had  a  firm  standing-ground,  and  soon 
acquired  the  self-confidence  incident  to  training  and 
character. 

In  my  booklet,  much,  including  the  voting  privilege, 
had  been  stricken  out.  On  enquiring  the  reason  I  was 
told  that  my  case  was  so  exceptional  that  they  could 
only  approximate  to  the  usual  circumstances ;  and  that 
later  when  I  should  reach  the  city  I  might  attend  some 
citizenship  school,  where  all  details  would  be  adjusted. 
Oh  how  I  longed  for  my  illuminating  conferences  with 
Orchid ! 

I  was  also  given  a  life-card,  which  I  was  to  retain 
permanently,  which  bore  all  permanent  identification 
data.  My  photograph  was  afifixed,  and  this  had  been 
made  on  the  spot,  the  development  process  having 
become  almost  instantaneous. 

After  the  examination,  we  had  surely  earned  our 
lunch;  and  we  sat  down  in  the  most  friendly  and  in- 
formal manner,  beginning  with  the  usual  patriotic  in- 
vocation which  Orchid  had  taught  me.  While  I  felt 
an  immense  relief,  I  saw  I  must  still  be  careful,  because 
of  the  silent  significant  glances  of  my  two  inquisitors. 
I  realized  that  this  sort  of  a  free,  unconscious  examina- 
tion might  prove  the  most  dangerous.  Yet  I  could  not 
but  feel  that  the  warnings  of  Dr.  Policiver  were  un- 
justifiable ;  and  I  began  speculating  what  purpose, 
besides  professional  interest  in  the  African  sleeping- 
sickness,  he  might  have  in  my  restoration.    However,  I 


60       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

had   little   time   for   speculation,   as   I   was  too  busy 
watching  my  questions  and  answers. 

I  then  went  up  to  my  room,  to  make  my  small 
preparations  for  the  journey.  As  I  entered  the  room 
I  felt  something  I  had  long  forgotten,  the  need  of 
kneeling  down  and  praying,  before  I  left.  Without 
any  instruction  from  outside  I  had,  since  my  childhood, 
on  entering  a  new  home,  or  on  leaving  an  old  one.  felt 
as  it  were  a  "presence,"  that  compelled  me  to  "lift  my 
heart"  to  the  Unseen.  The  absence  of  my  protectress 
Orchid  made  me  all  the  lonelier  so  that  I  did  not  fail 
to  pray  for  her.  I  thanked  God  for  apparently  having 
safely  survived  the  examination  ordeal ;  and  I  besought 
His  almighty  power  to  protect  me  on  the  unknown 
journey  I  was  about  to  undertake.  Then  I  sang  an 
old-fashioned  hymn,  waited  for  a  silent  benediction, 
and  stood  up. 

The  actual  packing  was  easy,  thanks  to  its  standard- 
ization. Its  beginnings  had  already  occurred  in  my 
day,  with  wardrobe  trunks,  dress-suit  cases  fitted  with 
toilet-articles,  and  specialized  bags  for  carpenters,  phy- 
sicians, and  the  like.  Gradually  the  shops  prepared 
complete  outfits  for  man  or  woman;  and  the  comic 
papers,  jokes  about  higgledy-piggledy  packings  changed 
to  disgust  and  censure,  as  wilful  untidiness.  The  bags 
and  trunks  themselves  were  convertible  into  bureaus 
and  closets,  each  bearing  a  standard  list  of  its  contents, 
with  directions  how  to  fold  and  place  in  position.  Thus 
packing  standardization  gradually  led  to  standardiza- 
tion of  quantity  and  quality  of  personal  belongings. 

At  the  risk  of  repetition  I  must  emphasize  that  if 
anybody  should  think  this  standardization  of  living 
destructive  of  individuality  and  interest,  he  would  have 
been  surprised  at  the  disapproval  and  contempt  of  the 
old-fashioned  individualized  disorder.  This  was  looked 
on  as  rudimentary,  illogical,  disgraceful,  and  even 
undemocratic,  insane. 


CHAPTER  X 
DWELLING  AND  GARDEN 

On  turning-  away  from  the  dwelling  that  had  so  hos- 
pitably sheltered  me,  I  gave  one  last  lingering  glance 
which  resumed  its  entirety  in  one  impression  which  I 
here  shall  try  to  represent.  It  was  a  unity,  not  merely 
a  garden,  a  tower,  a  church,  a  factory,  or  a  dormitory; 
but  a  combination  of  all,  an  organized  abode.  This  was 
in  sharp  contrast  to  the  building  inequalities  of  past 
civilizations  which  in  my  time  we  all  had  accepted  so 
unquestioningly.  Yet  even  then  we  had  had  natural 
adumbrations  of  the  modern  organized  abode  in  ant- 
hills, bee-hives,  prehistoric  American  pueblos,  or  the 
Pavia  di  Certosa. 

Of  course  in  my  day,  building  standardization  had 
already  begun.  Houses  were  often  built  wholesale,  in 
rows.  Then  they  were  combined  into  tenements,  and 
apartment  houses.  Roof-gardens  had  begun  to  appear 
on  theatres,  large  hotels,  or  institutions.  Sky-scrapers 
had  imitated  castles  or  towers.  Churches  were  institu- 
tionalized, like  the  New  York  Broadway  Tabernacle, 
and  adapted  to  complete  vision  and  hearing,  which  had 
first  been  introduced  into  theatres.  Gardens  had 
become  municipalized  into  parks,  although  only  in 
green-houses  had  they  been  laid  out  rationally.  But 
these  were  only  isolated,  unrelated,  and  unutilized 
attempts.  Nowadays  the  unit  was  the  abode,  which 
united  them  all,  even  if  only  in  miniature. 

6i 


62       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

Let  me  begin  by  the  garden,  which  in  my  days 
usually  fronted  the  house.  Nowadays  it  constituted 
the  court-yard,  around  which  the  buildings  themselves 
formed  a  living  wall.  People  no  longer  lived  for  osten- 
tation, but  had  the  garden  where  they  could  best  use  it. 
The  gardens  themselves  were  benefited  thereby.  This 
arrangement  dispensed  with  the  expensive  and  usually 
inefficient  fence,  hedge,  or  boundary-stones.  Stray 
canines  and  felines  whose  roaming  propensities  no 
socialization  could  improve,  no  longer  tore  up  flowers, 
and  acidified  the  soil. 

The  irrigation  problem  also  was  solved.  Many  cen- 
turies ago  even  nature's  irregularity  of  rainfall  had 
compelled  artificial  watering  methods,  by  those  who 
desired  results ;  and  as  to-day,  more  than  ever,  waste 
or  inefficiency  was  the  chief  crime,  so  irrigation  was 
considered  most  indispensable.  In  the  court-yard  there 
was  the  central  fountain  which  moistened  the  atmo- 
sphere. The  water  gathered  in  the  basin  was  not  turned 
into  the  sewer,  but  into  radiating  canals  which,  by 
gravity,  brought  the  life-giving  tide  to  each  of  the 
petal-shaped  beds,  the  whole  garden  assuming  the 
shape  of  an  even-petalled  flower. 

Around  the  fountain  a  circular  arbor  cooled  the  basin 
of  water,  and  afforded  a  delightful  place  to  take  dinners, 
or  hold  teas.  But  as  sociability  without  privacy  would 
not  be  personal  enough,  there  were  vine-covered  tete- 
a-tete  nooks  for  the  cultivation  of  friendship.  These 
were  in  the  triangle  between  the  extremities  of  the 
petal-shaped  beds,  along  the  walls  of  the  house,  and 
they  were  fitted  out  with  furniture  and  electric  lights. 

This  sheltered  position  of  the  garden  protected  it 
from  low  dust-winds,  while  admitting  the  higher 
breezes  bearing  their  living  freight  of  birds,  butterflies, 
insects,  seeds  and  fragrance.  In  localities  where  the 
winter  was  cold,  or  the  rains  were  excessive,  the  garden 
was  glassed  over  with  adjustable  screens. 


DWELLING  AND  GARDEN  63 

The  selection  of  the  garden-plants  was  standardized 
by  the  various  state-governments,  whose  experts  advised 
what  would  best  grow  in  that  locality  and  season.  No 
garden  was  allowed  to  lack  either  flowers,  fruits,  berries, 
vegetables,  or  an  experiment-bed,  for  new  varieties. 
The  similarity  of  all  the  gardens  allowed  comparative 
gardening,  or  emulation  between  neighbors ;  and  in 
this  field,  as  in  all  others,  the  comparative  method 
bore  golden  results.  In  my  days  a  few  successful 
amateurs  were  admired,  but  the  difference  of  material 
and  method  left  everything  in  the  realm  of  miracle. 
Each  year  there  was  made  a  rotation  of  the  contents 
of  the  petal-beds,  so  as  to  go  around  the  garden  in 
six  years,  of  course  not  disturbing  the  perennials  at 
the  apices  of  the  petal-beds.  The  soil  of  the  different 
beds  also  was  differentiated ;  some  was  sandy,  some 
loamy,  some  compounded  by  the  horticultural  experts, 
who  made  yearly,  and  when  necessary  even  monthly 
visits,  leaving  standardized  directions  for  everything. 

Who  did  the  work?  Everybody;  for  after  the  tub 
in  the  morning  hour,  or  at  the  sunset-time,  every  one 
was  keen  for  some  work  in  the  garden ;  and  the  stan- 
dardized petal-bed  arrangement  made  it  a  simple  mat- 
ter for  each  member  of  the  household  to  be  assigned 
a  special  responsibility. 

In  my  early  days,  rich  clerks  would  take  their  exer- 
cise in  gymnasiums,  either  private  or  public,  such  as 
the  Y.  M.  C.  A.  But  that  sort  of  exercise,  being  un- 
productive, came  under  the  ban  of  public  opinion. 
Indeed  I  was  shown  in  modern  medical  books  on  in- 
sanity, as  specimens  of  idiocy,  pictures  of  athletes  of 
rny  day  who  earned  their  living  by  knocking  a  pig- 
skin around  a  lot,  or  men  hitting  punching-bags,  or 
swinging  Indian  clubs,  when  there  were  garden-plots 
to  dig,  fruit-trees  to  prune,  or  berries  to  pick. 

College  foot-ball  games  and  other  sports  had  of 
course  disappeared.      What   surplus   energy  remained 


64       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

after  study-hours  was  worked  off  in  the  furrows  of 
surrounding  college  farms.  Horse-racing,  cock-fight- 
ing, dog  and  cat  shows  had  all  merged  into  annual 
expositions  of  breeders  and  biological  experts.  The 
element  of  personal  rivalry  was  discouraged,  and  even 
ridiculed.  I  remember,  in  my  youth,  reading  of  a  visit 
of  a  Shah  of  Persia  to  Edward  VI,  then  Prince  of 
Wales,  who,  as  a  compliment,  took  him  out  to  witness 
a  horse-race.  The  Shah,  however,  stated  he  was  not 
interested,  because,  said  he,  he  had  from  childhood 
known  that  one  horse  could  run  faster  than  another. 
What  emulation  was  permitted,  however,  was  limited 
to  such  useful  pursuits  as  the  discovery  and  develop- 
ment of  new  varieties  of  vegetables,  fruits  and  flowers. 

The  dwelling  itself  surrounded  the  garden  in  a 
square,  hexagon,  circle,  or  combination  of  square 
corners  with  bulging  rounded  sides.  The  curved 
entrance  was  the  highest  part  of  the  house,  —  a  tower 
used  as  belvidere,  for  flags,  for  wireless  antennae,  as 
water-tower,  and  as  astronomical  observatory. 

In  my  days,  this  star-gazing  was  considered  as  a 
somewhat  strange  and  useless  pastime.  But  since 
then  much  had,  changed.  Every  corner  of  the  globe, 
including  both  poles,  had  been  charted.  All  subter- 
ranean water-courses  had  been  plotted  as  accurately 
as  the  rivers  above  ground ;  in  my  day,  France  was 
the  only  country  in  which  that  had  been  achieved ;  and 
the  discovery  of  the  subterranean  water-courses  of  the 
rest  of  the  world  had  kept  adventurous  spirits  busy 
for  half  a  century.  With  all  this  achieved,  the  human 
instinct  for  geographic  adventure  survived ;  and  the 
only  field  open  remained  interplanetary  communica- 
tion. Every  house-tower  was  fitted  with  one  small  tele- 
scope powerful  enough  to  catch  any  signals  from 
Mars  or  Venus,  or  the  Moon;  and  this  star  watch  was 
kept  in  shifts  as  carefully  as  the  Zoroastrians  used  to 
guard   their   sacred   fire.     Nor   was   the  time   wasted 


DWELLING  AND  GARDEN  65 

when  no  message  was  detected,  for  in  those  silent 
times  men  "invited  their  souls,"  and  were  in  a  more 
suitable  frame  of  mind  to  receive  divine  impressions 
than  while  strenuously  working.  In  other  words,  it 
was  a  good  time  to  hear  one's  conscience. 

Also  in  this  field  the  comparative  method  had 
achieved  wonders.  So  long  as  this  observation  was 
hap-hazard,  the  results  were  both  under,  and  over 
significant.  With  an  uninterrupted  observation  by 
million  watchers,  genuine  results  were  soon  distin- 
guished from  errors.  Moreover,  the  ingenuity  of  many 
different  thinkers  uncovered  very  unexpected  results, 
and  gradually  an  interplanetary  alphabet  was  being 
arranged. 

The  central  dwelling-tower  contained  also  the  gen- 
eral offices,  reception-room,  and  outer  clothing-closets ; 
most  important  of  all,  a  meeting-hall,  for  use  in  cold 
or  rainy  weather,  adapted  to  the  size  of  the  house,  and 
usually  found  in  the  basement,  so  it  could  be  excavated 
to  any  desired  size  without  marring  the  house-plan. 
In  good  weather,  of  course,  meetings  were  held  in  the 
garden,  and  as  the  latter  sloped  down  on  all  sides  from 
the  fountain,  it  was  admirably  suited  for  an  assembly. 
When  the  water  was  turned  of¥  from  the  fountain  it 
formed  an  admirable  pulpit.  Sermons  or  addresses 
listened  to  among  the  flowers  and  vines,  and  beneath, 
the  moon  and  sun  light  possessed  a  charm  unknown 
to  any  hall-lecture. 

In  my  days,  the  houses  themselves  were  already 
partially  standardized.  American  conditions  had  pro- 
duced ready-made  portable  houses ;  and  Edison  had 
proposed  sectional  cement  houses.  This  does  not  mean 
that  all  houses  were  alike,  but  that  their  component 
parts  all  fitted  in ;  and  so,  as  with  children's  building- 
blocks,  it  became  possible  to  create  the  most  surpris- 
ingly varied  results  with  stock  parts,  which  could  be 
rather  easily  adjusted. 


66       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

The  walls  were  mostly  made  of  strong  but  light 
paper  beams,  which  securely  held  sections  of  glass, 
and  admitted  all  the  light  available,  while  the  interior 
could  be  screened  by  curtains  on  rods.  In  my  days 
factories  and  schools  had  already  begun  to  be  built  on 
that  principle ;  but  architects  still  drew  individual  plans, 
and  builders  worked  on  separate  houses.  Every  room 
had  its  balcony  opening  on  the  courtyard  within,  as 
well  as  on  the  outside,  while  all  roofs  were  compara- 
tively flat  and  usable  as  roof-gardens. 

So  far  as  kitchens  were  necessary,  they  were  central- 
ized in  the  back  wing.  Fireless  cookers  were  in  use 
everywhere ;  and  burners  were  used  only  to  generate 
the  initial  heat.  The  government  had  adopted  standard 
kitchen-plans  devised  to  save  the  housewife's  steps. 
Now  that  there  was  no  longer  any  servant-class,  and 
as  everybody  had  to  do  his  own  work,  all  possible  in- 
genuity was  used  to  reduce  unnecessary  labor,  and  to 
make  the  kitchen  the  pleasantest  and  most  attractive 
room  in  the  house  by  tasteful  arrangement,  pictures, 
and  flowers. 

The  interior  room-fittings,  which  have  already  been 
described,  were  to  be  found  in  every  room.  They 
were  so  standardized  as  to  be  easily  interchangeable 
with  other  partition  units.  Their  employment  there- 
fore offered  no  particular  building  difficulties.  Among 
them  also  was  a  transparent  block  to  be  inserted  in 
walls  between  rooms.  This  contained  an  incandescent 
bulb  which  simultaneously  furnished  two,  or  even  three 
rooms  with  light.  Doors  turning  on  hinges  had  long 
since  been  rejected,  in  favor  of  sliding  doors  and  win- 
dows. The  rooms  all  opened  on  the  courtyard  balcony, 
so  as  to  allow  of  privacy,  combined  with  mutual  accessi- 
bility. 

The  children's  quarters,  nurseries  and  play-rooms 
were  situated  over  the  kitchen,  for  the  convenience  of 
their  food  and  laundry.     These  quarters  were  now  a 


DWELLING  AND  GARDEN  67 

very  important  part  of  every  house ;  for  so  far  as  she 
was  physically  able  every  woman  became  a  mother. 
No  longer  was  a  woman  penalized  for  serving  the 
state,  but  rather  honored.  On  it  depended  her  vote, 
salary,  recognition,  and  opportunities. 

So  far  as  supply,  heating  was  centralized.  No  more 
was  coal  used,  as  being  dirty,  difficult  of  transportation, 
and  unhygienic  for  the  miners.  From  the  mountain- 
tops,  wind-mills  and  waterfalls  electricity  was  led  to 
each  house,  and  each  room  possessed  its  electric  heater. 
Those  of  my  day  had  been  very  expensive  and  ineffi- 
cient. At  present,  the  electric  current  was  transformed 
down  onto  sheets  and  logs  of  a  substance  better  than 
asbestos,  so  that  the  full  electric  potency  was  utilized. 

Among  partition-units  were  glass  trunk  wire  sec- 
tions, so  that  without  any  expensive  wiring  every  room 
had  equal  access  to  the  source  of  light  and  heat.  These 
bore  flat  conical  light-bulbs,  with  outlet-connections, 
for  heater-wires,  telephone,  sewing-machine  power, 
laundry,  and  light  cooking  apparatus.  Some  of  the 
upright  beams  contained  water  and  drain-pipe  risers 
from  one  single  water-main  and  sewer  surrounding 
the  courtyard,  so  that  all  plumbing  needs  were  sub- 
served without  the  formidable,  expensive  individualistic 
plumbing  which  in  my  days  had  created  and  supported 
a  whole  class  of  social  pirates. 

The  same  standardization  had  produced  a  scientific 
street  sewer,  gas,  electric  and  telephonic  conduit- 
system,  the  beginnings  of  which,  in  America,  dated 
from  the  construction  of  the  New  York  subways. 


CHAPTER  XI 
PUBLIC  ROADS 

Here  at  last  I  was  on  a  modern  road  In  roads  a 
rudimentary  standardization  had  begun  even  in  my  day. 
I  had  grown  famihar  with  comparatively  symmetrical 
streets,  avenues,  boulevards,  state  roads  and  national 
hig-hways.  A  Lincoln  transcontinental  high-way  had 
even  been  begun.  But  later  a  highway  from  Alaska 
to  Patagonia  had  been  completed,  as  well  as  one  from 
Alaska  to  Nova  Scotia,  and  from  Rio  de  Janeiro 
across  the  Andes  to  the  Pacific.  A  similar  transcon- 
tinental system  had  transformed  and  unified  Africa, 
Asia  and  Australia;  not  to  mention  Europe,  which, 
however,  was  the  last  section  to  be  continentalized, 
because  of  the  most  bitter  racial  animosities.  Yet  a 
highway  had  been  made  from  Baltic  to  Adriatic,  giving 
access  to  sea  to  the  smaller  land-locked  states,  such 
as  Czechoslowakia,  It  was  now  looked  upon  as  the 
most  benighted  region  in  the  world,  the  least  pro- 
gressive, the  most  hopeless,  —  if  there  was  anything 
hopeless  in  an  age  of  universal  progress.  Witness  the 
generation-long  reluctance  of  the  English  to  tunnel  the 
Channel,  which  even  in  my  day  seemed  ridiculous, 
though  only  in  modern  times  was  it  recognized  as  a 
survival  of  aboriginism.  Not  even  now  had  modern 
England  reaUzed  that  communication  as  such  was 
progress. 

6i 


PUBLIC  ROADS  69 

These  long-distance  objectives  did  not  imply  that 
roads  defied  the  laws  of  gravity,  of  sound  engineering 
practice,  or  of  landscape  beauty.  On  the  contrary',  as 
grace  and  attractiveness  had  become  more  and  more 
important  elements  of  life,  so  had  scenic  interest 
become  a  more  weighty  consideration  with  those  who 
laid  out  roads.  The  ruler-like  high-ways  of  France 
and  of  imperial  Russia  were  considered  as  much  curi- 
osities as  the  aimless  wanderings  of  roads  formerly 
built  around  privately  owned  estates,  or  for  political 
influence. 

The  modern  considerations  that  governed  the  estab- 
lishment of  communication  of  national,  provincial  and 
local  interests,  not  forgetting  historical  and  scenic 
attractions,  or  the  needs  and  convenience  of  the  trav- 
ellers. Each  of  these  interests  was  subserved  by  a 
different  kind  of  traction.  Transcontinental  needs 
were  best  subserved  by  high-speed  electric  lines,  follow- 
ing straight  lines,  under  mountains  and  on  viaducts 
over  valleys  or  watercourses,  or  preferably  under  them. 
For  provincial  interests  there  were  monorail  roads  that 
were  adapted  to  the  geographical  features,  and  local 
feeders,  along  the  highways. 

This  railroad  problem,  however,  was  not  worked  out 
independently  of  the  general  trend  of  events. 

To  begin  with,  the  climate  was  studied  and  heeded. 
Merely  because  the  Pilgrim  Fathers  had  landed  near 
Cape  Cod  there  was  no  reason  why  generations  of 
progressive  workers  should  endure  that  rigorous 
climate ;  so  Boston  lost  what  Newport  News  gained. 
In  Europe,  Savoy  became  depopulated,  in  favor  of 
Lombardy  and  French  valleys. 

Another  evil  condition  that  had  disappeared  was 
technical  possession  of  rights  of  way  by  competing 
lines,  which  gave  rise  to  long  detours,  useless  bridges, 
and  tunnels,  whose  expense  had  to  be  extorted  from 
succeeding  generations. 


70       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

The  river  banks  were  now  freed  from  railroad  lines, 
which  had  been  moved  sufficiently  back  not  to  deface 
the  public  parks  on  the  shore. 

Each  provincial  system  was  grouped  around  a  radi- 
ating centre  of  traffic,  such  as  in  my  day  used  to  be 
London  and  Paris.  However,  the  ancient  arrangement 
had  great  evils;  for  it  was  then  often  quicker  and 
cheaper  to  travel  thrice  the  distance  to  or  from  the 
capital  than  to  go  direct  across  country.  The  modern 
cross-connections  consisted  of  a  series  of  enlarging 
concentric  circles  (like  the  Paris  boulevards),  which 
thus  developed  intermediary  sections. 

As  a  province  now  generally  coincided  with  a  river- 
shed,  the  capital  was  usually  half-way  between  moun- 
tains and  the  terminal  port.  It  thus  formed  a  natural 
centre  for  the  province's  electric  power,  which  came 
from  the  mountains  on  all  three  sides.  The  climate 
was  also  the  most  temperate,  and  afforded  an  equalized 
access  to  tide-water  beaches,  mountain  resorts,  and 
farming  country.  The  capitals  of  the  different  provinces 
were  connected  by  through  high-ways  and  high-speed 
trains,  which  passed  from  one  watershed  to  another, 
therefore,  over  comparatively  low  passes,  where  how- 
ever a  tunnel  was  sometimes  necessary. 

These  changes  had  of  course  been  both  cause  and 
effect  of  another  change,  that  of  the  population.  In  my 
days  the  movement  from  the  country  to  the  city  seemed 
so  continuous  that  some  New  England  districts  became 
depopulated.  In  my  days  the  very  rich  were  able  to 
return ;  later  the  middle  classes,  when  improved  trolley 
communication  restored  the  balance. 

Another  influence  that  appeared  later  was  the  dis- 
appearance of  political  districting.  Of  these,  the  first 
stage  of  course  had  been  tribal  settlements.  Then 
came  feudal  states,  such  as  in  the  United  States  were 
founded  by  the  Dutch  patroons,  or  William  Penn's 
"proprietorship"  of  Pennsylvania.     Later  arose  myth- 


PUBLIC  ROADS  71 

ical  surveyors'  states  with  fancy  names.  The  next 
logical  step  was  the  French  districting  by  rivers,  which 
later,  under  the  influence  of  internationalism,  spread 
all  over  the  globe. 

Even  in  my  days,  indeed,  had  arisen  districts,  entirely 
apart  from  politics  or  history,  marked  out  by  the 
climatic  limits  of  production,  such  as  the  cotton-raising 
country,  the  grazing  prairies,  the  grain  belt,  the  lumber 
districts,  and  so  forth.  These  had  of  course  in  the 
main  surAaved ;  but  they  had  lost  much  of  their  precision 
and  significance,  because  the  agricultural  experts  had 
spread  practically  everywhere  the  most  productive 
plants,  while  following  the  indications  of  nature  only 
where  necessary.  Thus  a  great  deal  of  transportation 
had  been  avoided,  as  almost  every  district  raised  its 
own  preferred  necessaries  of  life. 

Each  district  had  its  food-tables  arranged  both 
permanently  and  annually  —  because  of  the  yearly  vari- 
ations of  climate  —  by  the  local  central  agricultural 
college.  Proprietary  preparations  having  become 
nationalized,  were  produced  in  every  district  laboratory, 
to  the  extent  that  over-insistence  on  special  brands 
was  considered  a  sign  of  ignorance,  a  sort  of  childish 
commercial  fetichism.  On  the  other  hand,  the  authori- 
ties watched  over  the  purity  of  the  foods  sold  in  the 
municipal  groceries,  so  that  all  individual  advertising 
of  brands  became  unnecessary. 

These  district-roads  differed  according  to  their  pre- 
vailing traffic.  For  instance,  a  road  in  districts  where 
there  was  much  heavy  hauling  would  be  constructed 
differently  from  one  in  a  district  where  there  was  less 
of  it;  but  nevertheless,  being  intended  for  individual 
personal  use,  there  was  a  double  row  of  trees  on  each 
side,  allowing  for  a  pedestrian  path  in  either  direction. 

No  longer  did  people  walk  great  distances,  but  used 
small  motor  roller-skates,  which  were  cheap  enough 
to  be  at  the  command  of  everybody.    With  very  little 


72       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

physical  fatigue  it  was  thus  possible  to  travel  independ- 
ently to  the  neighboring  local  centre,  and  so  much 
faster  than  on  horse-back  or  in  buggies,  that  horses 
had  practically  disappeared  from  the  roads.  There  were 
small  motor  standing  boards,  tricycle  motor  chairs  and 
other  practical  motor  apparatus,  that  lengthened  the 
radius  of  local  traffic. 

In  this  connection  may  I  observe  that  outside  dirt 
was  never  tracked  into  the  house;  which  indeed,  as 
in  ancient  Japan,  would  have  been  considered  the  most 
untutored  boorishness  though  in  my  days  of  spittoons 
and  mats  it  often  occurred,  giving  rise  to  the  really 
humorous  signs  "Wipe  your  Feet."  In  the  vestibule- 
racks  stood  always  a  choice  selection  of  slippers  hos- 
pitably arrayed  for  visitors. 

There  was  a  net-work  of  small  narrow-guage  lines 
connecting  every  field  on  a  scientific  plan,  suggested 
by  the  government  experts.  They  were  constructed 
of  easily  interchangeable  sections,  which,  after  the 
harvest,  would  be  removed.  They  were  made  of  fibre, 
so  as  to  be  very  light,  and  easily  interlocked.  Fre^ 
quently  they  were  left  permanently  to  connect  dairy- 
houses  or  barns  with  the  local  road,  or  wherever  the 
hauling  was  regular  enough.  Many  wagons,  built  on 
the  endless  chain  principle,  laid  their  own  track  as  they 
needed  it.  The  free  use  of  motor  roller  skates  had 
induced  the  introduction  of  similar  smooth  paths,  com- 
posed of  standardized  light  fibre-composition  plates, 
which  interlocked,  and  were  easily  removable. 

There  were  national  transportation  boards  which 
yearly  reconsidered  the  transportation  facilities  and 
needs  of  every  locality.  If  the  traffic  had  increased, 
they  added  to  the  facilities ;  if  they  had  decreased,  they 
withdrew  them.  They  did  this  according  to  certain 
traffic  standards,  which  being  generally  known  aroused 
no  heart-burnings ;  and  communities  that  desired  addi- 
tional facilities  devoted  their  energies  to  qualifying  for 


PUBLIC  ROADS  73 

them,  instead  of  trying  to  invoke  political  influence. 
In  my  day  the  post-office  had  already  been  thus  taken 
out  of  politics.  Thus  the  transportation  facilities  were 
constantly  kept  in  touch  with  the  traffic. 

It  was  along-  such  roads  that  in  a  light  private  motor 
with  seats  for  four  the  two  physicians  drove  me 
smoothly  and  rapidly  to  my  destination.  At  first  I  had 
expected  that  a  chauffeur  would  manipulate  the  vehicle  ; 
but  I  observed  that  in  this  age  where  machinery  had 
eliminated  personal  service  that  mercenary  tribe  must 
have  passed  away  except  in  the  case  of  children,  in- 
vaHds,  or  persons  as  suspected  as  I. 

Being  on  my  mettle  to  prove  mental  competence,  I 
restricted  my  observations  to  admiration  of  natural 
beauties,  a  bond  unificative  of  all  ages  and  races.  Here 
I  reflected  that  while  in  my  time  all  scientific  achieve- 
ments had,  by  the  unreflecting,  been  considered  un- 
canny and  unnatural,  these  more  efficient  methods  on 
the  contrary  really  more  harmonized  with  nature's 
ingenious  adaptation  of  means  to  ends.  To  take  one 
example,  these  chemical  discoveries  were  only  a  closer 
scrutiny  of  natural  law;  and  what  the  untutored  con- 
sidered "unnatural"  was  merely  what  to  their  ignorance 
was  "unfamiliar." 

This  universal  language  of  nature  soon  broke  down 
between  us  the  ice  of  reserve ;  and  my  judges  began  to 
turn  into  companions,  who  pointed  out  lovely  if  unob- 
trusive landscape  features,  or  recent  improvements 
and  opportunities  for  future  development.  This  led  me 
to  further  reflections.  In  my  days  it  was  a  general 
notion  possibly  due  to  the  traditional  ideals  of  the  New 
Jerusalem,  Platonopolis,  the  City  of  the  Sun,  and  other 
Utopias,  that  the  ideal  perfection  was  final,  or  static. 
Here,  on  the  contrary,  there  was  more  perfectibility, 
more  desire  for  improvements,  more  opportunities  for 
development,  and  I  may  add,  more  humility  than  I  had 
ever  before  imagined.    So  some  constructive  criticisms 


74       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

of  their  achievements  that  I  dared  to  advance  were  by 
them  w^elcomed,  when  I  feared  they  would  be  resented. 

Also  the  converse  proved  true.  Keeping  in  mind 
the  advice  of  my  former  guardian  PoHciver,  I  sought 
judiciously  to  flatter  them,  and  praise  their  achieve- 
ments. However,  I  soon  found  that  this  course  was 
not  advancing  me  in  the  estimation  of  these  modern 
people,  as  it  would  have  done  in  that  of  my  contem- 
poraries, infatuated  as  they  were  with  their  own 
achievements.  At  first  this  surprised  me ;  but  later  I 
inferred  that  this  same  Policiver  was  not  quite  in  sym- 
party  with  the  spirit  of  his  day's  civilization.  Being 
the  heir  of  an  old-world  tradition  of  acquisitiveness, 
he  harked  back  to  the  era  of  personalities,  and  evidently 
did  not  belong  to  the  unselfish  humanitarian  trend  of 
the  times. 

These  abstract  reflections  of  my  intellect,  however, 
were  no  more  than  the  froth  eddying  around  the  sur- 
face of  my  deeper  emotional  anguish  at  separation 
from  Orchid,  and  my  anxiety  for  her  welfare.  I  eagerly 
scanned  the  countenance  of  every  woman  we  met, 
looking  not  so  much  for  herself,  —  whom  I  expected 
to  find  in  the  city,  —  as  for  somei  message  from  her'. 
So  I  took  an  interest  in  all  the  women  we  met. 

Was  Orchid  an  exceptionally  beautiful  or  lovable 
woman,  or  had  all  women  of  modern  times  gained  in 
poise,  self-reliance,  serenity  and  beauty?  This  latter 
was  my  conclusion ;  but  it  did  not  in  any  way  diminish 
my  devotion  to  her  as  my  first  modern  woman,  my 
only  friend,  and  my  savior ;  —  as  to  the  rest.  I  dared 
not  think. 

While  absorbed  in  such  reflections,  the  sun  had  ap- 
proached the  horizon ;  and  my  unexpressed  wish  for 
a  halt  to  enjoy  the  view  of  the  sunset  was  betrayed 
to  my  companions  by  my  turning  involuntarily  to  the 
gorgeous  spectacle.  I  caught  an  approving  glance  ex- 
changed between  my  judges ;  but  they  said  nothing  until 


PUBLIC  ROADS  75 

their  watches,  —  bearing  a  black  dial  with  luminous 
figures  and  hands, — indeed,  numbered  up  to  24  o'clock, 
pointed  to  five  minutes  to  sunset.  Then  all  the  bells 
of  the  neighboring  houses  and  hamlets  chimed  in  what 
in  ancient  times  would  have  been  called  the  Angelus, 
or  the  muezzin's  call.  For  five  minutes  everybody  and 
everything,  including  the  monorail  electrics,  stopped. 
All  turned  towards  the  sunset,  lost  in  silent  contempla- 
tion. Some  stood,  some  sat,  some  raised  their  hands, 
some  merely  uncovered.  Then,  at  a  signal,  all  pro- 
ceeded on  their  way ;  some  more  suddenly,  others  more 
lingeringly.  ]\Iy  companions'  eyes  gleamed  with  an 
unworldly  serenity  as  they  started  their  motor,  while 
the  monorail  car  tooted  and  whizzed. 

Then  followed  the  gloaming  and  the  dark ;  and  yet 
we  speeded  onwards  till  we  reached  our  first  view  of 
the  city.  I  was  most  impressed  by  the  luminous  halo 
that  brooded  over  it,  instead  of  the  thousands  of  sep- 
arate lights  that  in  my  day  characterized  a  city  at  night. 
I  hailed  this  as  a  symbol  of  the  modern  change  of 
municipalization  from  ancient  individualism.  Already 
in  my  day  some  of  the  boulevards  were  lighted  with 
fewer  but  more  powerful  lamps ;  and  the  grounds  of 
Girard  College  in  Philadelphia  had  been  illuminated 
by  half  a  dozen  lamps  on  tall  towers.  Here  however 
the  whole  city  was  lighted  from  one  central  tower  on 
the  top  of  the  tallest  central  building,  and  an  arrange- 
ment of  mirrors  projected  the  light  into  the  near  and 
dark  side  of  transverse  streets.  The  light  of  the  central 
lamp  or  beacon  was  thrown  down  by  immense  reflec- 
tors, thus  saving  it  from  being  wasted  upwards.  How 
much  more  sensible  than  thousands  of  lighting  fix- 
tures, each  liable  to  get  out  of  order,  and  implying 
thousands  of  miles  of  underground  conduits! 

When  the  motor  arrived  at  the  shore  where  in  my 
days  used  to  run  the  Oakland  ferr\-,  the  road  gradually 
sank  under  water.    As  the  car  arrived  there,  the  doctor 


76       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

threw  a  lever,  which  unfolded  a  collapsible  keel,  suffi- 
cient to  support  the  car;  while  the  wheels,  being 
webbed,  drove  the  improvised  boat  at  a  moderate  speed 
across  the  bay.  I  was  informed  that  there  was  a  sub- 
way, which  was  used  in  rough  weather;  but  which, 
when  possible,  was  avoided,  so  delightful  was  the  sail. 

While  crossing,  I  gained  a  good  bird's  eye  view  of 
the  city.  It  resembled  a  huge  dome.  Around  the 
central  light  dome  on  the  city  hall  were  circularly 
grouped  the  tallest  houses.  The  next  circle  was  com- 
posed of  houses  less  high,  and  so  on  progressively  till 
the  suburbs,  which  outer  ring  was  composed  of  the 
lowest  residences.  Apparently  the  city  was  built  on  a 
comprehensive  zoning  system ;  not  as  in  the  New  York 
of  my  days  where  it  was  introduced  only  after  stupidity 
or  private  competition  had  destroyed  the  general  sym- 
metry, but  evidently  on  a  unitary  plan.  The  whole  old 
city  must,  it  seems  to  me,  have  been  razed  to  accom- 
plish such  perfection.  In  ancient  Paris  there  were 
comparatively  regular  concentric  boulevards,  but  the 
zones  were  neither  graded,  nor  regular. 

On  reaching  the  opposite  shore,  the  motor  was 
restored  to  land-use,  and  swiftly  whisked  through  the 
wharves  to  one  of  the  residences  of  the  lowest  outer 
zone,  which  we  entered  by  the  front  portal,  opened 
for  us  in  response  to  a  gentle  knock.  We  dismounted 
in  the  front  building,  and  the  machine  was  run  to  the 
back  wing,  along  the  edge  of  the  courtyard  garden, 
which  resembled  that  of  the  house  that  had  sheltered 
me  in  the  Sierra  foot-hills. 

I  was  conducted  to  a  first-story  room  facing  the 
courtyard,  told  to  partake  of  the  package  dinner  await- 
ing me  in  the  room's  wall-refrigerator,  and  to  seek 
refreshment  in  welcome  repose. 


EPISODE  SECOND 
NORTH  AMERICA  OF  THE  FUTURE 


CHAPTER  XII 

THE  MODERN  CITY 

During  that  night  I  was  visited  by  confused  dreams 
evidently  composed  of  the  various  experiences  of  my 
journey;  but  underlying  them  was  a  vague  uneasiness 
about  my  first  and  only  friend  Orchid ;  not  merely 
because  I  had  lost  her  guidance,  but  because  I  realized 
she  herself  needed  protection,  and  I  myself  was  in  too 
precarious  a  position  to  be  of  any  service  to  her.  I  had 
to  take  it  out  in  prayer,  which  gave  me  the  consolation 
of  faith.  A  fancy  visited  me  that  if  I  should  for  a  short 
while  lie  down  again,  I  might  meet  her  again  at  least 
in  the  land  of  dreams.  Then  indeed  I  received  the 
surprise  of  my  life  :  instead  of  Orchid's  regular  features, 
I  was  met  by  another,  though  no  less  smiling  girl- 
friend, who  extended  her  hand  to  greet  me;  and  just 
as  I  touched  hers,  I  awoke  with  a  snap.  My  heart  was 
fluttering,  and  I  was  gasping  for  breath.  So  I  was 
somewhat  discomposed,  for  I  remembered  that  the  last 
morning  dreams  are  usually  the  most  veridical. 

77 


7S       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

Fortunately  there  was  no  room  for  delay.  The  sun- 
rise chimes  rang,  and  I  knew  I  had  but  exactly  sufficient 
time  to  complete  my  modest  matutinal  toilet  and  to 
find  my  way  to  the  gate-tower,  if  I  wished  to  join  in 
the  customary  sunrise  devotional  meeting.  In  the 
Sierra  home  I  had  been  excused  therefrom,  because  of 
my  sickness ;  but  here  where  my  whole  career  depended 
on  making  good  as  mentally  adequate,  I  could  not 
afiford  to  be  even  tardy. 

Swiftly  therefore,  and  with  the  assurance  derived 
from  universal  standardization,  even  of  how  to  dispose 
of  one's  clothes  during  sleep,  I  reached  for  correct 
wall  closets  for  the  lavatory  and  garments,  and  put  on 
the  universal  athletic  overalls.  Noiselessly  I  glided  to 
the  portal-tower  observatory,  and  unobtrusively  sub- 
sided into  a  vacant  seat  just  as  the  leader  —  I  later 
discovered  that  everybody  took  his  or  her  turn  at  pre- 
siding, as  I  myself  later  had  to  do,  —  struck  the  open- 
ing chimes.  I  heard  them  in  all  the  neighboring  houses 
also,  for  the  sunrise  service  was  being  celebrated  all 
over  the  city  simultaneously.  There  was  a  patriotic 
hymn,  then  a  minute  of  silent  contemplation  of  the 
miracle  unfolding  before  us.  Then  one  of  the  children 
read  a  selected  poem  suitable  to  the  occasion,  and  in 
turn  every  member  of  the  family  uttered  some  thought 
which  had  impressed  itself  on  his  mind.  After  the 
family  came  employes,  and  last  the  guest,  —  myself. 
I  repeated  the  biblical  verse  about  the  "Sun  of  right- 
eousness arising  with  healing  in  his  wings  to  them 
that  look  therefor."  A  young  woman  who  had  already 
spoken  in  a  gentle  voice,  but  whose  features  I  had  not 
noticed,  turned  around  and  smiled  at  me.  I  had  to 
catch  my  breath,  for  it  was  the  friendly  countenance 
that  had  flashed  on  me  as  I  waked.  I  must  have  flushed, 
for  she  glanced  at  me  enquiringly.  I  turned  away  in 
confusion,  to  avoid  any  interruption.  Then  the  father 
of  the  family  uttered  a  short  prayer  for  guidance  and 


A  MODERN  CITY  79 

protection  during  the  day.  After  rising  and  joining  in 
a  touching  reconsecration  to  democracy  all,  including 
myself,  indulged  in  the  solemn  rite  of  shaking  hands, 
while  uttering  a  kindly  wish.  All  trouped  out,  leaving 
me  in  uncertainty  until  a  friendly  nod  from  the  dream- 
girl  invited  me  to  follow  the  whole  assemblage  to  the 
tool  house  at  the  back  of  the  garden,  where  each  picked 
out  his  favorite  implement. 

My  guide  pointed  to  a  hoe,  which  I  cheerfully 
annexed.  She  beckoned  me  to  her  own  garden-plot, 
while  the  others  were  distributing  themselves  among 
their  several  garden-beds. 

"Guest,"  said  my  friend,  "my  name  is  Lilac  Prophet- 
icen  Namefranciscur.  Will  you  not  also  introduce 
yourself,  that  we  may  be  friends?" 

"With  pleasure,"  responded  I ;  "but  before  I  can 
answer,  I  shall  have  to  consult  my  card ;  I  fear  I  shall 
never  succeed  in  memorizing  the  name  that  was  wished 
on  me  yesterday !" 

As  I  reached  for  my  "permanent  life  card"  to 
decipher  "Oleander  Parentive  Neurodundeeian,"  the 
humor  of  the  situation  made  us  both  laugh  so  heartily 
that  we  established  a  sort  of  comradeship  that  was  as 
pleasant  as  useful. 

"Then  you  will  work  in  my  flower-bed  with  me.  this 
morning,  comrade?" 

"Gladly,"  assented  I.  "But  you  must  assign  me  the 
task." 

"We  usually  choose  our  own ;  but  under  the  circum- 
stances you  may  be  willing  to  take  my  advice.  If  you 
will  do  the  hoeing  between  the  rows,  I  will  remove 
the  insects  from  the  plants,  and  so  we  can  go  on  con- 
versing." 

"Good,"  smiled  I.  "I  want  you  to  help  me  to  under- 
stand this  appellation  of  mine,  if  there  is  anything  to 
understand  about  it !" 

"That  is  just  the  point,   Oleander,"   said   she  with 


80       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

charming,  respectful  familiarity.  "Once  I  supply  you 
with  the  key  you  will  find  the  name  so  easy  that  it  will 
utter  itself  without  any  memnonical  efifort.  Come  over 
to  the  fountain,  on  which  I  will  show  you  the  engraved 
zodiacal  calendar.  Once  seen,  never  forgotten.  Come 
this  way !" 

By  one  of  the  radial  paths  we  reached  the  fountain, 
and  facing  each  of  the  twelve  paths  I  saw  engraved 
the  name  of  a  virtue,  or  trait  of  character  that  had 
been  assigned  for  the  special  commemoration  of  one 
month.  The  old  Roman  names  had  been  apparently 
wisely  discarded ;  for  even  in  my  early  days  I  rebelled 
at  having  to  commemorate  double-faced  Janus,  Mars 
the  brute,  Julius  Ceesar  the  butcher,  and  other  famous 
or  rather  infamous  eccentricities.  So  I  read  around 
the  column  Harmony,  Determination,  Practicality, 
Parenthood,  Love,  Art,  Vision,  Policy,  Prophecy, 
Organization,  Sociability,  and  Intellect. 

"So,  you  see,"  instructed  she,  "a  person's  second 
name  reveals  the  month  of  birth."  Immediately  I  re- 
membered Dr.  Policiver,  and  Orchid  Practicapan;  and 
my  comrade's  Propheticen  and  my  Parentive,  which 
denoted  that  we  had  respectively  been  born  in  Novem- 
ber, June,  December,  and  July. 

"But  what  about  those  queer  syllables  that  act  as 
terminations?" 

"They  indicate  the  hour  of  your  birth." 

"And  what  of  my  first  name.  Oleander?" 

"That  tells  you  were  born  on  the  twenty-second  of 
the  month ;  just  as  mine.  Lilac,  reveals  I  was  born  on 
the  nineteenth." 

"And  what  would  Orchid  denote?"  asked  I  loyally. 

"Look  for  yourself,  comrade!"  said  my  guide  with 
a  true  teacher's  nasty  encouragement  of  self-help.  She 
pointed  at  names  engraved  along  the  margin  of  the 
fountain.  The  upper  row  bore  the  names  of  31  alpha- 
betic names  of  flowers;  and  below,  under  the  flower- 


A  MODERN  CITY  81 

name,  stood  a  tree-name,  grouped  under  the  appropri- 
ate numeral.     So  I  read  the  standardized  name-hsts, 

as  follows : 

FLOWERS:  1,  Althea;  2,  Calla;  3,  Camelia;  4,  Canna;  5, 
Cereus;  6,  Cherry;  7,  Clematis;  8,  Clover;  9,  Columbine;  10, 
Dahlia;  11,  Daisy;  12,  Edelweiss;  13,  Fern;  14,  Heliotrope; 
15,  Iris;  16,_Ivy;  17,  Jasmine;  18,  Lavender;  19,  Lilac;  20,  Lily; 
21,  Lotus;  22,  Marguerite;  23,  Mignonette;  24,  Orchid;  25,  Pansy; 
26,  Pink;  27,  Rose;  28,  Snowdrop;  29,  Tulip;  30,  Violet;  31, 
Wistaria. 

TREES:  1,  Ash;  2,  Bamboo;  3,  Banyan;  4,  Baobab;  5,  Cat- 
alpa;  6,  Cedar;  7,  Chestnut;  8,  Cypress;  9,  Ebony;  10,  Elm;  11, 
Eucalyptus;  12,  Fir;  13,  Hazel;  14,  Holly;  15,  Laurel;  16,  Locust; 
17,  Larch;  18,  Magnolia;  19,  Maple;  20,  Myrtle;  21,  Oak;  22, 
Oleander;  23,  Palm;  24,  Pine;  25,  Poplar;  26,  Spruce;  27,  Syca- 
more; 28,  Teak;  29,  Vine;  30,  Walnut;  31,  Willow. 

"Thank  you,"  said  I.  "When  I  have  memorized  the 
lists  I  shall  know  everybody's  birth-date !" 

"Right !"  approved  she. 

"But  what  about  that  last  night-mare  of  mine?" 

"Do  you  mean  to  say  that  you  have  not  recognized 
your  birth-place?" 

"Partially ;  but  not  entirely." 

"That  too  is  easy.  Out  with  your  card,  and  let  me 
show  you  how  dull  you  were!"  She  smiled  to  relieve 
my  resentment. 

"Neurodundeean  means:  N,  for  north;  euro,  for 
Europe ;  dundee,  for  your  birth-city ;  a,  for  the  first 
zone,  reckoning, from  the  centre;  ii,  for  the  thirteenth 
radial  section  of  the  city;  which  is  comprised  between 
the  thirteenth  and  fourteenth  radial  avenues;  the  first 
one  beginning  due  north,  the  second  fifteen  degrees 
to  the  west  of  the  former ;  so  that  the  thirteenth  would 
lie  from  due  south  to  fifteen  degrees  east  of  it.  Is  that 
not  sufficiently  precise?" 

"Too  precise,  for  any  of  the  'bluffs'  my  contem- 
poraries sought  to  throw ;  it  would  be  rather  uncom- 
fortable if  there  were  anything  to  hide!" 


82       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

"But  you  have  nothing  to  hide,  have  you?"  queriea 
my  companion  only  half  reassured. 

"I  better  not!"  laughed  I. 

"Lucky  for  you,  comrade!"  joked  she.  "In  our  civil- 
ization people  who  have  anything  to  hide  usually  get 
hidden  pretty  promptly !" 

"Well,  I  know  that  I  shall  get  hidden  promptly  if 
I  do  not  hide  some  of  those  weeds  before  the  bell 
rings!"  cried  I. 

"And  those  bugs,  which  no  civilization  has  yet  suc- 
ceeded in  entirely  eradicating,  will  also  promptly  hide 
those  tomatoes !" 

So  we  returned  to  our  work ;  and  between  jokes  and 
digs  at  each  other  we  passed  our  time  pretty  pleasantly 
till  the  chimes  rang  again. 

After  putting  away  our  tools,  on  which  occasion 
everybody  was  very  expansive  and  chummy,  as  are 
people  who  have  together  done  some  honest  physical 
labor,  we  separated  to  return  to  our  rooms  for  a  shower 
and  dressing,  plus  a  very  vigorous  appetite,  which  I 
can  guarantee  would  not  have  been  satisfied  with  any 
tabloid  food.  I  wanted  quantity  as  well  as  quality, 
and  found  both  in  the  refrigerator  closet.  When  finally 
restored  and  in  my  right  mind,  I  was  summoned  to 
the  parlor,  where  I  found  my  host.  Sycamore  Organiz- 
ival  Namefranciscur,  who  was  the  director  of  the 
museum,  and  Lilac,  my  comrade,  both  dressed  to  go 
out  for  the  day.  He  was  very  cordial,  and  expressed 
himself  as  pleased  that  Lilac  and  I  had  become  friendly. 
Though  he  himself  was  compelled  to  go  to  the  museum 
—  for  in  those  days  the  time-clock  had  to  be  punched 
by  all  from  the  lowest  street-sweeper  to  the  president 
of  the  republic,  —  he  committed  me  to  the  tender 
mercies  of  Lilac  for  a  sight-seeing  expedition  through 
the  city.  It  did  not  take  me  very  long  to  assent,  and 
Lilac's  smile  showed  she  too  was  willing.  So  we 
adjourned  to  the  vestibule  to  put  on  our  roller  skates, 


A  MODERN  CITY  83 

and  we  waved  good-bye  to  the  home  folks  who  came 
to  see  us  off. 

Once  outside.  Lilac  offered  to  gratify  any  special 
desires  of  mine.  I  resigned  the  direction  into  her 
hands,  and  she  proposed  that  we  approach  the  city  hall 
circuitously,  so  as  to  see  as  much  as  possible.  The 
plan  was  to  follow  a  transverse  street  until  the  next 
avenue,  then  up  that  to  the  next  street,  further  along 
that  out  to  the  next  avenue,  and  so  on  to  the  centre. 

The  outer  zone  or  suburb  consisted  of  residences, 
which  were  not  so  much  evidences  of  wealth,  as  of  size 
of  families.  The  next  inner  zone  was  composed  of 
larger  dwellings,  in  effect  boarding  houses  or  family 
hotels,  where  resided  the  smaller  families,  the  childless 
couples,  the  single  people,  or  visiting  strangers.  They 
constituted  a  sort  of  club,  or  colony,  for  people  in 
whom  the  social  instinct  was  stronger  than  the  private, 
who  wanted  to  "chum"  or  "pal"  with  fellow  artists, 
litterateurs,  or  students;  also  people  with  the  same 
social,  philosophical  or  religious  ideas,  forming  groups, 
schools  or  cults. 

The  next  zone  was  that  of  the  local  supply  houses, 
the  catalogue  department  stores,  where  from  catalogues 
one  could  select  any  desired  article,  very  much  as  did 
the  New  York  and  Chicago  department  stores  that 
spread  their  catalogues  all  over  the  middle  west;  only 
here  they  were  assembled  in  a  government  supply 
house,  with  carefully  numbered  samples  in  glass  show 
cases.  Here  were  the  vegetable  and  fruit  stores,  the 
delicatessen  establishments,  that  had  been  increased 
by  the  French  "'rotisserie/'  and  in  addition,  all  other 
eatables,  such  as  puddings,  cakes,  and  the  like.  Here 
were  all  housekeeping  conveniences,  and  above  every- 
thing, the  communal  repair  and  darning  stores.  In  my 
day  it  took  the  world-war  to  make  the  wasteful  Amer- 
ican public  rescue  the  "old  clothes"  trade  from  Baxter 
and  Hester  streets.   "Stoppeurs"  had  begun  to  operate, 


84       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

but  the  prices  they  charged  were  extortionate.  There 
had  also  arisen  dealers  who  sold  guaranteed  hosiery, 
that  was  replaced  within  six  months,  in  the  event  of 
any  holes.  These  operated  on  the  gamble  that  most 
people  are  careless,  and  would  lose  their  receipts  in  the 
meanwhile.  All  this  was  now  regularized,  and  indeed 
the  greater  number  of  garments  worn  in  the  streets 
showed  signs  of  having  been  neatly  repaired.  In  my 
days  the  Americans  generally  lived  in  an  era  of  new- 
ness, and  discarded  everything  that  was  not  fresh.  This 
too  was  a  delusion,  and  a  wasteful  one.  In  that  way 
they  had  destroyed  most  of  their  antiquities,  splitting 
up  for  kindling  wood  two  hundred  years  old  pulpits 
dating  from  the  Revolution,  tearing  down  that  jewel 
of  architecture,  old  St.  John's  in  New  York,  because 
a  new  building  line  was  to  have  run  a  couple  of  feet 
back  of  the  magnificent  facade.  They  were  not  vandals, 
they  were  deluded.  Had  they  not  lived  in  a  prohibition 
country  they  would  have  realized  that  some  things,  like 
wine  and  friends,  grow  more  precious  with  age. 

In  this  section  my  guide  did  some  of  the  household 
marketing.  For  the  next  day  she  ordered  sufficient 
boxed  breakfasts,  lunches  and  dinners  to  be  delivered 
to  the  residence  by  narrow  guage  delivery  carts.  In 
these  boxed  meals,  the  fibre  box,  when  unfolded, 
formed  a  plate  and  other  necessary  implements.  The 
smaller  inside  box  formed  a  glass  or  cup,  and  another, 
a  saucer.  Every  thing  was  wrapped  in  its  own  dish; 
and  fibre  spoons,  knives  and  forks  allowed  you  to  throw 
away  everything  uneaten.  When  you  entered  into  a 
meal-store,  these  were  all'  separately  heaped  up  on 
shelves,  ready  to  send  out.  So  the  eating-problem, 
thanks  to  the  intelligence  of  co-operation,  had  become 
what  it  should  always  have  been,  nothing  but  a  pleas- 
ure, even  for  the  housewife. 

In  my  days,  of  course,  housewives  would  have  ob- 
jected to  this  solution,  as  not  being  nice  and  individual 


A  MODERN  CITY  85 

enough;  but  to  begin  with,  no  protests  should  be 
hstened  to  from  an  age  that  permitted  the  atrocities 
under  the  counters  of  the  deHcatessen  stores.  Again, 
in  modern  times  all  this  food  was  prepared  by  nice 
people  in  kitchens  that  were  visited  by  the  elite,  who 
took  a  very  real  interest  in  the  food  they  were  to  eat. 
Moreover,  in  this  age,  it  was  considered  vulgar  to  be 
finicky  or  over-nice  about  such  things;  common-sense 
indicates  that  a  single  consciousness  cannot  be 
supremely  interested  in  more  than  one  thing;  and 
therefore  the  centre  of  interest,  if  directed  on  democ- 
racy, can  leave  but  a  secondary  anxiety  for  the  more 
material  things.  Besides,  as  enlightened  hygienists  had 
charge  of  the  whole  commissary,  people  found  it  to 
their  own  advantage  to  leave  out  of  their  lives  un- 
necessary anxieties. 

We  soon  left  the  housekeeping  streets,  which 
presented  a  busy  appearance,  for  the  factory  streets, 
which  were  less  frequented,  and  looked  very  symmet- 
rical. Each  was  carefully  differentiated  for  the  special 
articles  to  be  manufactured.  In  the  olden  days  factories 
were  strewed  about  promiscuously  without  regard  to 
co-operation.  But  it  must  be  very  evident  that  great 
economies  of  time  and  material  could  be  effected  if 
goods  made  from  similar  raw  materials,  or  with  the 
same  sort  of  machinery,  were  combined.  Besides  it 
would  pay  to  have  storehouses  for  the  same  kind  of 
raw  materials  near  the  factories  that  used  them.  In 
our  day  we  thought  that  business  was  the  most  system- 
atized organization  then  existent;  but  Judge  Brandeis 
had  shown  the  railroads  how  to  save  an  incredible 
amomit  of  their  resources;  and  organization  was  used 
to  economize  for  private  profiteers,  but  not  for  the 
consumer,  the  community,  or  even  for  general  progress. 
In  my  days  the  large  corporations  pushed  their  own 
patents  only,  and  hindered  all  other  developments.  For 
instance  in  my  day  the  rich  Metropolitan  Opera  House 


86       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

did  nothing  but  repeat  the  same  repertory  for  a  decade, 
until  Oscar  Hammerstein  introduced  Louise,  or  the 
Tales  of  Hoffman,  and  Pelleas  et  Melisande,  with  new 
costumes.  Like  many  others  I  used  to  want  to  go  to 
see  Parsifal  yearly;  but  I  finally  stopped,  tired  of  see- 
ing" the  same  grease  spots  on  the  palace  carpet,  the 
same  garden  bushes  topple  over,  and  the  paste-board 
rocks  showing  gaping  holes  and  covers.  No  wonder, 
for  they  had  a  monopoly — that  is,  a  private  one,  whose 
interest  it  was  to  fleece  the  public.  Since  human  nature, 
not  even  in  modern  times,  had  grown  to  the  point 
where  it  was  safe  to  allow  anybody  a  sinecure,  much 
less  could  it  have  been  so  in  the  olden  days,  where 
there  had  not  yet  been  public  recognition  of  the  Master 
Fallacy,  that  the  individual  can  safely  cheat  the  state; 
that  one  can  have  one's  cake,  and  eat  it,  too,  by  "pass- 
ing the  buck"  to  some  one  else. 

In  my  days,  the  beginning  of  factory  laws  had  been 
made ;  but  there  was  not  yet  the  public  recognition 
that  a  factory  was  only  a  differentiated  form  of  a 
school.  Work  is  degrading  only  when  it  is  uneduca- 
tional ;  and  education  without  work  is  cramming. 
Already  in  my  days  large  department  stores  and  fac- 
tories had  been  compelled  to  open  private  schools ;  but 
that  was  necessary  only  as  long  as  the  public  schools 
were  not  fused  with  every  department  of  life ;  with 
factories,  business,  the  civil  service,  and  marriage. 
When  the  state  unified  all  activities,  much  duplication 
w-as  avoided,  and  all  other  departments  of  life  were 
educationalized;  that  means  rationalized,  and  social- 
ized. 

The  kinds  of  factories  w^ere  standardized,  and  in 
each  of  the  twenty-four  radial  wards  of  any  city,  in 
the  fourth  zone  for  instance,  the  same  kind  of  factory 
would  be  found.  Thus  all  cities  were  supplied  in  a 
standard  way  reducing  transportation  to  a  minimum. 
As  the  machinery  too  was  standardized,  every  need  of 


A  MODERN  CITY  87 

even  a  small  new  city  was  attended  to  In  some  intel- 
ligent way. 

When  we  came  to  the  next  radial  avenue,  I  stopped 
a  little  while  to  study  it  more  carefully.  The  first 
avenues  we  saw  were  too  strange  for  me  to  under- 
stand; but  by  the  time  I  had  compared  a  sufficient 
number,  I  grasped  their  similarities.  They  differed,  of 
course,  because  of  the  difference  of  factories  of  each 
radial  ward;  but  the  plan  was  the  same.  In  my  days, 
corners  were  generally  pre-empted  by  drug  stores,  in 
the  nicer  sections;  and  by  saloons,  in  the  poorer.  I 
have  already  described  the  rows  of  trees,  the  monorailSy 
and  the  foot-paths ;  but  in  connection  with  the  house- 
keeping and  factory  zones  I  might  mention  that  the 
tracks  in  the  streets  were  not  monopolized  by  street- 
cars, but  as  in  the  Turin  of  my  earliest  days  there 
were  wider  slab-tracks,  on  which  all  vehicles  could 
speed  smoothly.  Between  the  double  tree  rows  careered 
the  monorail  electrics,  underground,  so  as  to  avoid 
grade  crossings.  All  focussed  and  transferred  at  city 
hall,  and  ran  out  to  the  remotest  suburb  in  its  partic- 
ular direction.  Cross-town  travel  was  provided  for  by 
a  circular  belt-line  in  the  midst  of  each  zone.  Under 
the  trees  were  benches,  which  were  well  patronized 
because  of  the  inspiring  view  of  the  city  hall  in  one 
direction,  —  like  the  "Billy  Penn"  of  my  earlier  days, 
—  and  the  sunrise  and  sunset  views  in  the  other.  At 
street  intersections  there  were  arrangements  for  pop- 
ular meetings,  and  concerts,  with  open  air  stage-bal- 
conies on  each  of  the  corner  ward  meeting-houses, 
reminding  one  of  Salt  Lake  City,  in  that  respect.  These 
buildings  subserved  all  combined  local  needs ;  assembly 
halls,  schools,  voting  places,  lecture  rooms,  dance  halls, 
restaurant,  stationery  and  drug  stores,  bank,  postal, 
telegraph  and  telephone  centres,  as  well  as  express 
offices,  and  theatres.  As  there  was  no  more  cut-throat 
competition,    drug    stores    neither    needed,    nor    were 


88       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

allowed  to  make  vulgar  displays;  likewise  the  hair- 
dressing  rooms.  There  were  also  social  meeting  rooms, 
or  parlors,  for  interviews;  such  helpful  advisers  as  in 
my  day  were  clergymen,  physicians,  lawyers,  dentists, 
and  vocational  advisers ;  all  in  the  ofBce  of  the  secretary 
of  the  ward-meeting  held  there.  Here  was  a  small 
library  which,  by  rotation  with  other  branches,  brought 
the  ne^vest  thought  to  every  street-corner;  and  the 
librarian  gradually  became  the  chief  educator  of  the 
district. 

Proceeding  up-town,  we  entered  into  the  retail  trade 
district.  This,  however,  was  much  restricted  since  my 
earlier  days;  because  of  the  elimination  of  competition, 
and  to  catalogue  arrangements  of  the  house-keeping 
district.  But  the  latter  did  not  subserve  all  needs,  for 
there  remained  the  field  of  invention  and  novelties,  of 
fancy  production  and  art,  of  printing,  books,  news- 
papers, maps,  and  the  institutions  of  higher  learning, 
as  well  as  the  governmental  offices  of  wholesale  and 
raw  material  distribution.  While  the  lower  schools 
were  united  with  the  factories,  so  the  institutions  of 
higher  learning  were  combined  with  the  specialized 
and  wholesale  trades.  They  could  not  be  situated  in 
country  districts,  as  in  my  day,  because  students,  out- 
side of  the  class  room,  no  longer  loafed,  but  prided 
themselves  on  useful  exercise  and  productive  occupa- 
tions, which  were  generally  required.  Moreover,  every 
clerk  was  compelled  to  carry  one  or  more  courses  of 
study.  The  Cincinnati  University  correlation  scheme 
had  indeed  pointed  the  way  to  this ;  but  the  correlation 
between  fields  of  study  had  also  borne  good  fruit.  All 
these  rudimentary  plans  had  gradually  fused  into  an 
intimate  apprenticeship  system  that  carried  the  gradu- 
ate into  actual  senace  without  any  serious  jolt,  the 
worst  of  which  had  formerly  been  the  entrance  on  the 
German  universities,  after  the  rigor  of  the  gymnasium. 

The  zone  nearest  to  the  city  hall  was  that  of  central 


A  MODERN  CITY  89 

institutions,  like  the  main  library,  the  museums,  the 
complete  public  commercial  catalogue  exhibit,  and 
patent  offices.  My  Egeria  took  me  into  the  museum 
presided  over  by  her  father,  who  also  made  me  visit 
the  special  room  in  which  I  had  lain  for  so  long,  and 
where  had  occurred  the  gruesome  scene  which  still 
obsessed  my  first  modern  memory,  and  around  which 
were  still  exhibited  all  the  data  of  my  unique  experience. 

Then  I  saw  that  museums,  as  well  as  the  libraries 
of  my  days,  had  been  standardized.  The  New  York 
Museum  of  Natural  History  had  probably  done  the 
chief  pioneer  work  of  this  kind;  and  it  had  finally 
eventuated  into  a  standard  classification,  so  that  in 
every  museum  in  the  world  the  same  classifications 
were  in  the  same  relative  position.  This  building  too 
was  planned  radially.  In  my  day  this  radial  plan  had 
been  introduced  only  in  penitentiaries,  where  unifica- 
tion of  supervision  had  been  the  most  pressing  problem. 
The  great  advantage  of  this  was  that  any  museum  was 
capable  of  indefinite  extension,  from  the  smallest  pos- 
sible beginnings.  Moreover  the  visitors  got  a  coherent 
notion  of  how  the  natural  world  hung  together,  and 
consequently  of  their  own  place  within  it.  Of  course 
in  the  centre  there  was  a  miniature  object  diagram 
of  the  solar  system,  and  on  the  ceiling  of  the  central 
pavilion  flashed  the  constellations,  which  were  not  mis- 
taken, as  was  their  representation  plastered  on  the 
ceiling  of  the  Grand  Central  Station  in  New  York ! 

In  this  hurried  bird's  eye  inspection  of  the  city  there 
was  little  opportunity  for  detailed  study,  or  discussion 
of  anything  I  saw;  which,  however,  seemed  to  disap- 
point my  companion.  Soon,  however,  she  realized  I 
had  become  a  little  dazed,  not  perhaps  so  much  by 
actual  weariness  as  by  the  formation  of  an  entire  set 
of  novel  associations.  Whatever  the  cause,  I  felt  faint, 
and  soon  showed  it.  My  comrade  saw  me  grow  pale, 
and  bade  me  rest  till  she  had  summoned  a  motor,  which, 


90       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

thanks  to  the  radial  avenues,  enabled  us  to  reach  home 
very  promptly.  There  1  found  refreshment  in  repose ; 
after  which  I  joined  the  family  in  the  common  social 
meal,  which  I  would  have  been  heart-broken  to  miss, 
for  here  was  the  best  opportunity  of  establishing  a 
clear  understanding.  It  was  held  in  the  roof-garden 
over  the  kitchen,  and  timed  so  that  it  closed  with  the 
benediction  of  the  sunset  angelus  service. 

This  evening  happened  to  be  the  monthly  full  moon 
which,  as  among  the  ancient  Sabeans  and  Hebrews, 
was  celebrated  by  a  great  popular  procession  by  the 
sea  shore;  although  in  inland  communities  it  was  held 
in  the  most  romantic  spot,  either  by  lake  or  on  moun- 
tain. Being  weary  I  was  excused,  and  after  I  had  very 
regretfully  retired,  my  hosts  all  went  to  take  part  in 
this  great  monthly  procession,  which  was  very  mystic. 
for  the  moonlight  in  modern  times,  as  well  as  in  the 
ancient,  infused  into  the  human  soul  fantastic  aberra- 
tions. No  doubt  that  Avas  the  reason  why  in  my  child- 
hood there  was  a  current  superstition  that  sleeping  in 
the  moonlight  induced  insanity ;  the  very  word  "lun- 
atic" testified  to  this.  But  poets  have  given  the  other 
side  of  the  picture,  and  when  united  with  the  divine 
sanction  of  worship,  —  which  the  religion  of  three 
thousand  years  had  very  unwisely  divorced  from  it,  — 
it  was  one  of  the  most  potent  influences  of  sanctifi- 
cation. 

When  I  retired,  my  friend  Lilac  bade  me  farewell 
with  a  solicitous  sisterly  cordiality  which  I  indeed 
returned. 

After  going  to  my  room,  I  lay  down  to  rest ;  but 
the  intoxication  of  the  moonlight  was  too  much  for 
me.  I  went  to  the  roof  esplanade,  sat  in  a  comfortable 
chair,  and  resigned  myself  to  the  wild  flights  of  memory 
and  fancy.  I  need  not  say  that  I  turned  to  Orchid; 
but  already  she  seemed  far  away,  pathetic  and  melan- 
choly.    A    sudden    impulse    to    go    alone    among    the 


A  MODERN  CITY  91 

crowds,  on  the  chance  of  finding  her,  seized  me;  but 
that  was  vain,  for  my  wear>'  hmbs  failed  me.  So  once 
more  I  had  to  resign  her  to  our  heavenly  Father,  who 
loved  and  knew  her  better  than  she  loved  and  knew 
herself,  and  was  all-powerful,  and  who  would  therefore 
protect  her  from  anything  not  best  for  her. 

Then  I  thought  of  what  she  and  Dr.  Policiver  had 
v/arned  me  in  connection  with  my  present  hosts.  To 
begin  with,  even  if  what  they  said  was  true,  I  was  still 
too  inexperienced  and  weak  to  protect  myself  from 
them.  As  to  the  money,  I  did  not  care  about  it  in 
any  case ;  and  evidently  Dr.  Policiver  was  much  more 
disturbed  about  it  than  I.  Then,  my  comrade  Lilac 
was  so  simple,  natural  and  kindly  that  any  suspicion 
of  her,  and  consequently  them,  was  out  of  the  question. 
I  decided  that  if  a  controversy  was  forced  on  me,  I 
had  rather  side  with  my  present  hosts ;  and  I  concluded 
there  would  not  be  any  controversy,  and  that  Dr.  Pol- 
iciver must  have  been  as  misinformed  as  he  was  greedy ; 
I  decided  to  dismiss  him  from  my  mind. 

Then  I  fell  asleep,  and  was  waked  on  hearing  the 
friends  returning  from  their  moonlight  pilgrimage; 
and  to  avoid  comment  I  quickly  stole  to  my  room,  and 
fell  asleep,  not  to  wake  from  my  slumbers  till  morning 
chimes. 


CHAPTER  XIII 

REFLECTIONS  ON   NAMES,   BANKS,   CHURCHES  AND 
HOLIDAYS 

In  view  of  my  recent  exhaustion,  the  physicians  who 
examined  me  each  morning  suggested  that  I  go  rather 
slower  than  I  had  been  doing.  So  I  prepared  to  stay 
all  day  on  a  lounge  on  the  roof,  though  I  understood 
their  solicitude  was  not  disinterested. 

Shortly  my  comrade  appeared.  She  was  dressed  for 
an  outing,  and  asked  if  I  would  join  her  in  a  motor 
trip  to  the  sea-shore,  where  we  could  rest  just  as  well 
as  here  on  the  roof,  and  besides  gain  the  reinvigoration 
of  the  waves,  the  salt  air,  and  change  of  scene.  To  me, 
any  suggestion  of  hers  was  law;  so  I  gladly  rose, 
arrayed  myself  in  outing  garments,  and  without  ques- 
tion smilingly  joined  her  in  the  gate-tower's  vestibule. 
There  we  put  on  our  roller  skates,  got  into  the  amphibi- 
ous motor,  and  were  soon  delightfully  skimming  over 
the  city's  water  front. 

The  standardizing  of  ships,  begun  during  the  great 
war  of  liberty,  had  of  course  become,  and  remained 
universal.  Modern  people  considered  our  boasted  twen- 
tieth century  leviathans  as  prehistoric  as  we  do  Colum- 
bus' galleons.  Air-travel  had  of  course  diverted  the 
greater  part  of  medium  distance  express  travel ;  but 
the  uncertainty  of  the  winds,  and  the  hazards  incident 
to  the  least  stoppage  of  the  motor,  —  perfect  as  they 
had  become,  made  vessels  preferable  for  freight.  Be- 
sides,  trips  on   the  large   transcontinental   aeroplanes 

9' 


REFLECTIONS  ON  NAMES,  ETC.         93 

were  very  expensive.  The  standardized  ships  that  I  saw 
in  the  harbor  were  of  several  easily  recognizable  types ; 
one  would  best  correspond  to  our  cattle  and  freight 
steamers;  another  was  a  combination  passenger  and 
freight  boat;  and  last,  a  speedy  passenger  boat.  They 
were  mostly  of  cement,  as  wood  was  liable  to  rot,  and 
iron  to  rust,  besides  being  heavy  and  difficult  to  pro- 
cure. These  boats  contained  gyroscopes,  to  control  the 
rolling,  and  compartments  with  double  hulls,  to  defy 
accidents  rather  than  collisions. 

These  indeed  still  occurred  in  mist  or  heavy  storms, 
but  otherwise  they  had  ceased.  This  was  due  to  the 
efficient  specialization  of  the  sea-going  profession.  In 
my  day  I  remember  how  the  New  York  ferry-boats 
on  the  clearest  and  quietest  days  would  crash  in  their 
docks  with  terrific  bumps,  simply  because  the  pilots 
had  formed  so  strong  a  labor  union  that  they  could 
afiford  to  remain  the  most  inefficient  officeholders  in 
the  country ;  there  was  no  way  even  to  protest  against 
their  conduct.  When  nationalization  invaded  their  pro- 
fession, the  pier-bumps  were  carefully  recorded,  and  a 
certain  percentage  of  salary  deducted  for  each.  This 
reduced  them  as  by  magiCj  to  inevitable  cases  of  storms 
or  icebergs,  which,  however,  had  to  be  proven,  to  save 
the  pilot  from  loss  of  salary.  Captains  no  longer  drank 
champagne  at  the  millionaires'  table,  and  consequently 
accidents  like  that  to  the  Titanic  ceased. 

In  this  connection  it  may  be  interesting  to  note 
that  in  modern  times  trains  and  street-cars  started  and 
stopped  without  bumps.  These  were  entirely  unneces- 
sary, as  was  proved  by  their  absence  on  European 
railroads.  There  one  never  knew  the  train  had  started 
till  he  saw  the  telegraph  poles  whizz  by,  or  that  he  had 
stopped,  till  he  noticed  strangers  coming  in.  They  had 
stopped  even  the  conductor's  "all  aboard."  He  merely 
raised  his  hand,  or  extended  a  fan-shaped  signal; 
necessity  of  noise  is  a  wicked  delusion. 


94       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

The  reason  why  they  had  persisted  in  America  was 
because  Americans  so  Hked  to  be  bumped  that  they 
would  spend  small  fortunes  to  make  pilgrimages  to 
Coney  Island  for  the  express  purpose  of  accumulating 
scientific  contusions.  This  of  course  would  have  been 
no  more  than  a  joke  had  America  not  been  the  only 
country  where  a  large  percentage  of  babies  were  born 
on  street-cars,  and  where  American  expertry  in  hernia- 
operations  was  chiefly  due  to  this  glorious  but  entirely 
unnecessary  sport,  while  hanging  on  to  straps.  In  my 
days  it  was  one  of  the  defects  of  democracy  that  there 
was  no  one  in  authority  to  protect  the  public  whose 
manner  of  earning  their  livelihood  was  so  uncertain 
and  frenzied,  they  could  not  even  protest  in  the  press 
hired  by  the  monopolies. 

The  small  pleasure-boats  had  all  disappeared  before 
the  amphibious  motor;  and  as  ours  skimmed  through 
the  Golden  Gate  we  met  many  others  forming,  as  it 
were,  a  swarm  of  insects  gliding  over  the  surface  of 
a  pond. 

After  settling  ourselves  comfortably  with  cushions 
and  rugs,  we  naturally  contemplated  the  scenery,  which 
I  observed  had  of  course  changed  but  little.  Then 
my  companion  asked  me  to  confide  to  her  my  personal 
reaction  to  modern  conditions.  I  answered  that  I 
hardly  knew  where  to  begin,  but  that  I  would  first  like 
to  hear  how  she  had  enjoyed  herself  last  night. 

Her  eyes  gleamed  as  she  recounted  all  the  pleasures 
I  had  missed.  The  procession  had  begun  at  the  City 
Hall,  and  swung  into  Golden  Gate  Park,  where  there  had 
been  music,  an  inspirational  address,  followed  by  songs 
and  dancing.  Then  the  assemblage  had  dispersed  for  tete- 
a-tete  walks,  by  old  as  well  as  young.  Lilac,  it  seemed, 
had  paired  off  with  a  girl-friend  of  hers,  who  had 
recited  some  of  her  own  verses,  composed  during  the 
last  month.  As  Lilac  had  memorized  them,  she 
repeated  them  to  me. 


REFLECTIONS  ON  NAMES,  ETC.  95 

VISION 

One  morning,  as  I  stood  before  the  dawn 
Drinking  through  every  sense  its  living  light, 
The  wandering  wind  did  whisper  in  mine  ear 
"Forsake  thy  toil,  and  follow  me  till  night." 

That  day  I  lay  upon  the  flowering  grass 
Beneath  the  rustling  oaks  and  azure  sky 
Waiting  to  hear  the   footsteps   of  the   Lord 
Walking  on   earth   when   evening  cool   is   nigh. 

I  dreamed,  I  yearned,  I  prayed,  I  wept,  I  sobbed 
Until  the  heavens  revealed  their  inmost  shrine, 
My  spirit  floating  in  the  depth  of  space 
The  while  my  soul  heard  harmonies  divine. 

I  heard  the  elemental  tone  that  sounds 

When  thoughts  divine  take  shape  as  flower  or  tree, 

And  felt  harmonics  hidden  in  myself 

Respond  to  earth  and  grass  and  sky  and  sea. 

Since  then   full   oft  I've  listened   to   the  wind, 
But  never  heard  aught  else  than  senseless  noise; 
Saw  naught  in  forest  than  the  trees  and  rocks 
And  earth  and  sky  in  perfect  equipoise. 

After  a  little  silence,  which  was  the  best  possible 
tribute  to  the  magic  of  the  lines,  I  asked  Lilac  the 
name  of  her  friend.  She  said  it  was  *Tris  Intellectobab 
Namerifresnik."  I  was  ill-bred  enough  to  burst  out 
laughing,  so  great  was  the  contrast  between  the 
verses  and  the  wretched  "Intellectobab."  I  stopped  at 
once,  for  in  my  comrade's  eye  I  saw  a  dangerous  glint. 
Most  earnestly  I  begged  her  pardon,  until  her  irrita- 
tion softened  into  a  pout. 

"Well,  if  you  do  not  like  our  modern  names,  scientific 
as  they  are,  do  show  us  how  we  could  improve  them. 
If  you  consider  your  ancient  method  in  any  way 
superior,  I  beg  you  to  advance  the  suggestion  in  writing 
to  the  proper  parties,  and  it  will  be  acted  on  without 
delay;  for  we  nurse  neither  false  pride,  nor  unreasoning 
conservatism.    But  what  is  so  ridiculous  in  them?" 


96       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

"It  seems  to  me  your  names  are  lacking"  in  euphony. 
Indeed,  I  am  not  criticising  the  first  names,  derived 
from  flowers  or  trees,  which  are  natural  objects  of 
beauty  and  inspiration.  Our  girls  were  often  called 
Pansy,  Violet,  or  Rose.  But  I  miss  the  fine  idealistic 
and  religious  flavor  of  such  Christian  names  as  "John," 
"Paul,"  "Francis,"  "Benedict,"  and  the  like. 

"But  of  course  these  names  were  restricted  to  Chris- 
tians, were  they  not?" 

"Oh,  no !  They  were  used  generally,  without  much 
thought  of  their  significance." 

"Then  they  did  not  mean  much,  did  they?" 
"Well,  perhaps  not;  but  they  could  always  be  made 
to    mean    something   to    those    who    cared    to    study 
them." 

"And  they  thus  kept  alive  the   Christian  origins?" 
"Not  exactly,  because  many  were  originally  Hebrew ; 
but   that   was   mostly   forgotten,   and   they   passed   as 
Christian." 

"And  so  all  Christians  used  them?" 
"Oh  no !    In  my  time,  in  America,  it  had  become 
fashionable  to  use  as  surnames  even  family  names." 
"And  did  these  have  much  significance?" 
"Hardly  ever ;  but  that  was  of  no  consequence,  for 
there  was  a  certain  family  prestige  which  it  preserved." 
"That  is  one  thing,"  chimed  in  my  questioner,  "which 
I  do  not  understand.    What  can  'family  prestige'  mean? 
Did  your  famous  men  have  sons  as  famous  as  they?" 
"There  you  have  hit  on  a  mysterious  dispensation 
of  Providence.     Hardly  any  descendants  of  great  men 
continued  that  greatness.     Yet  it  was  better  to  have 
even  an  inefficient  family  tradition,  than  none  at  all !" 
"What  you  call  a  dispensation  of  Providence,"  softly 
but  insistently  urged  my  comrade,  "is  probably  a  mis- 
take;  and  in  this  case  due  to  a  traditional  exaggeration 
of  masculine  importance.     Did  not  many  famous  men 
owe  their  excellence  to  the  influence  of  their  mothers?" 


REFLECTIONS  ON  NAMES,  ETC.         97 

"Yes,  indeed!  The  mothers  of  the  Gracchi,  of  the 
Wesleys,  and  of  St.  Augustine,  for  instance." 

"Well,  do  you  not  then  see  that  the  real  Hne  of 
descent,  if  there  is  any,  flows  through  the  mother, 
rather  than  the  father?  If  your  families  had  handed 
down  their  names  through  the  mothers,  who,  I  am 
given  to  understand,  were  chosen  rather  casually,  it  is 
possible  that  you  would  have  noticed  a  more  per- 
sistent continuity  of  character.  Do  you  not  think 
so?" 

I  partly  agreed,  but  did  not  like  to  acknowledge  it. 
This  inner  conflict  aroused  a  slightly  vicious  retort. 
"Why  then  do  you  moderns  not  at  least  preserve  the 
maternal  tradition?  Something  is  better  than  noth- 
ing." 

"We  do  not  preserve  it,"  answered  she  gently, 
"because  it  would  not  be  fair  to  the  father  either, 
would  it?" 

"That  is  true,"  agreed  I  unwillingly.  "But  could  they 
not  be  combined  as  was  sometimes  done  in  France?" 

"How  did  it  work?" 

"Not  very  well,  I  confess.  It  could  be  done  for 
one  generation  only,  and  then  already  it  was  unwieldy. 
Nor  was  it  used  elsewhere." 

"Then  that  combination  method  is  out  of  the  question. 
What  a  pity,  however,  not  to  be  able  to  perpetuate 
the  memory  of  some  noble  ancestor,  was  it  not?" 
sighed  my  friend  regretfully. 

"Comfort  yourself,  my  friend.  From  what  I  heard, 
the  family  traditions  of  the  greater  part  of  the  nobility 
led  back  only  to  some  fortunate  brigand,  or  to  the  dis- 
reputable favorite  of  a  dissolute  king.  So  perhaps 
after  all  such  family  traditions  were  really  more  of  a 
disgrace,  than  an  honor.  But  if  in  this  I  must  yield 
to  you,  I  still  hold  I  hardly  like  your  way  of  depriving 
the  child  of  all  ideals,  even  if  only  general  historical 
ones,  such  as  Percy,  Gladys,  Elaine,  and  the  hke." 


98       A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

"Did  these  names  always  suit  the  children  who  bore 
them,  when  they  grew  up?" 

I  smiled.  "Hardly!  It  was  indeed  one  of  the  jokes 
of  the  comics  that  'Percy'  was  affected  by  tramps,  of 
'Lillian'   by   some  monstrously  obese   female." 

"But  still  these  ideals  did  in  some  cases  help  the 
namesakes?" 

"Possibly,  unless  they  were  objects  of  ridicule,  lik^ 
'Marmaduke.'  The  best  use  of  names  certainly  was 
among  the  Romanists,  who  gave  every  child  the  name 
of  the  saint  whose  festival  fell  on  that  day." 

"Splendid ;  that  was  a  real  spiritual  help !" 

"Sometimes.  But  that  also  had  its  evils.  Of  many 
of  those  saints  very  little  was  known,  and  many  of 
their  miracles  were  incredible ;  and  w-here  this  nomen- 
clature was  most  used,  it  led  to  idolatry." 

"But  was  there  no  better  list  of  great  men  to  be 
had?" 

"Yes.  Comte,  the  positivist  philosopher,  proposed 
one,  but  that  was  prehistoric  in  philosophical  classifica- 
tion, and  too  ancient.  I  did  once  attempt  to  modernize 
the  list,  but  it  was  useless  unless  it  had  been  generally 
adopted.  That  w^as  the  trouble  in  our  democracies ; 
there  was  no  intelligence  at  the  head,  and  whatever 
there  was  lacked  power.  For  instance,  for  a  year  before 
the  w'orld-war  the  French  government  knew  what  was 
threatening  in  Germany,  but  it  was  impossible  to  get 
the  legislature  to  do  anything;  something  like  five 
ministries  fell  in  a  year  in  that  attempt,  for  they  w^ere 
not  able  to  make  a  public  statement,  which  would  have 
broken  relations  as  result  of  popular  clamor,  insuring 
defeat,  for  lack  of  preparation.  So  I.  like  many  other 
students,  laid  aside  whatever  I  achieved,  until  there 
should  arise  some  exploiter  who  would  therefrom  ex- 
tract a  fortune." 

"That  is  the  case  no  longer.  You  must  show  me 
the  list,  and  at  the  first  ward-meeting  I  shall  propose 


REFLECTIONS  ON  NAMES,  ETC.  99 

it  in  the  right  quarters.  If  judged  suitable,  it  would 
no  doubt  be  adopted.     Tell  me  a  little  about  it." 

"Of  course,  I  would  have  to  reproduce  it  from 
memory.  The  chief  idea  was  that  it  should  be  modern, 
all-inclusive,  international,  and  unsectarian.  I  should 
probably  have  to  reconstruct  it." 

"How  did  you  assign  the  months?" 

"More  or  less  by  logical  development." 

"But  why  not  according  to  the  scientific  month 
character  trait  assignments?" 

"That  would  be  better,  I  agree." 

"Very  well ;  when  we  get  back  home,  we  will  work 
it  out  together.  I  shall  enjoy  the  co-operation ;  we 
shall  become  real  comrades,  will  we  not?" 

"Surely." 

"Such  names  as  you  had,  though,  were  always  un- 
changeable, were  they  not  ?" 

"I  fear  that  here  also  I  am  at  fault.  It  was  a  stand- 
ing joke  that  girls  at  school  changed  them  to  suit 
themselves.  Sarah  became  Sadye,  May  turned  to  Mae, 
Alice  to  Alyse,  and  Mabel  to  Mabelle.  I  fear,"  hesitated 
I,  "that  never  before  did  I  realize  how  much  our  prac- 
tice differed  from  our  theories.  We  have  little  grounds 
to  find  fault  with  names  that  are  scientific ;  still,  your 
names  are  neither  harmonious  nor  euphonious." 

Humbly,  almost,  my  companion  rejoined,  "I  think 
we  all  realize  that,  to  some  extent.  But  their  imperfec- 
tions pale  before  their  advantage  that  no  two  inhab- 
itants of  the  world  are  named  alike.  That  surely  is 
worth  while?" 

"Yes,  indeed,  I  know  that  in  many  even  small 
classes  at  my  school  there  were  sometimes  three  chil- 
dren by  the  same  name.  The  inconvenience  of  dupli- 
cation must  have  increased  with  the  breaking  down 
of  provincialism.  Really  we  were  in  but  very  little  better 
case  than  the  medieval  Hebrews  on  whom  the  Austrian 
state     imposed     artificial     names     beautiful     or     ugly 


100     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

according  to  the  amount  of  cash  paid.  Still  I  do  think 
that  there  ought  to  be  some  provision  for  the  perpetu- 
ation of  great  achievements." 

"We  do  have  that.  As  a  reward  for  extraordinary 
service  as  poet,  inventor,  or  social  minister  the  state 
allows  children  to  bear  a  fourth  name,  derived  from 
the  specialized  achievement  of  their  parent,  male  or 
female.  This  also  gives  right  to  a  cenotaph  in  the 
national  Hall  of  Fame,  and  inscription  in  the  yearly 
dyptichs  of  every  local  ward-meeting.  So  we  do  not 
entirely  fail  to  appreciate  the  memorial  value  of  a 
patronymic." 

"Now  that  the  novelty  has  worn  ofT,  and  that  I 
understand  their  incontestable  value,  I  am  more 
inclined  to  accept  them.  After  all,  chemical  nomen- 
clature of  my  days  was  not  beautiful.  Perhaps  I  too 
have  much  to  learn ;  and  when  habit  and  time  will 
have  hallowed  them  to  me,  I  may  be  as  enthusiastic 
about  them  as  you ;  nevertheless  the  improved  calendar 
of  heroes  I  suggested  might  add  a  touch  of  romance 
and  tradition." 

*T  agree  with  you,  indeed.  But  have  you  no  ques- 
tions to  ask  about  what  you  yesterday  saw  of  our  city?" 

"Yes  indeed ;  but  before  we  leave  the  subject  of 
names,  explain  how  your  names  indicate  the  year  and 
hour  of  birth." 

"With  pleasure.  For  the  year,  we  use  the  old 
Baconian  code ;  for  the  hour,  the  corresponding  letter 
of  the  alphabet ;  and  even  the  minute  can  be  indicated 
where  necessary  by  the  same  means.  This  of  course, 
is  used  chiefly  where  in  one  ward  children  born  the 
same  hour  and  day  have  to  be  differentiated.  My 
name,  for  instance,  is,  more  exactly,  "Lilac  Prophet- 
icepanalman,"  of  which  p  and  n  indicate  I  was  born  in 
1992;  the  I,  at  13  o'clock;  and  m  and  n,  at  32  minutes 
after  the  hour." 

"But  what  is  the  Baconian  code?" 


REFLECTIONS  ON  NAMES,  ETC.        101 

"Do  you  not  know  that?  You  who  belonged  to 
earlier  times?  It  is  easy  enough,  and  helps  you  to 
memorize  any  numbers  you  meet.  1,  s  or  z;  2,  n;  3, 
m ;  4,  r ;  5,  1 ;  6,  j  or  sh ;  7,  k  or  g;  8,  f  or  v ;  9,  b  or  p. 
You  had  better  learn  it,  for  you  will  find  it  useful." 

"1  certainly  will." 

"While  we  are  talking  about  figures,  is  there  any- 
thing you  would  like  to  ask?" 

"Yes ;  I  see  the  arabic  numerals  that  I  used  to  know, 
but  also  three  others  that  are  unfamiliar  to  me;  they 
are  d,  P,  and  0.     What  do  they  mean?" 

"Ten,  eleven  and  twelve.  You  see,  we  do  not  use  a 
decimal  system,  but  a  duodecimal  one,  founded  on 
twelve.  It  has  all  the  convenience  of  the  ancient 
decimal,  but  adds  to  the  decimal's  simple  division  by  2, 
that  by  3  and  4.  This  latter  advantage  is  so  great  that 
for  its  sake  the  British  retained  their  awkward  mone- 
tary system  for  half  a  century,  until  it  was  demon- 
strated to  them  that  thus  they  need  not  lose  it,  while 
gaining  all  the  fraction-advantage  of  the  continental 
system.  This  had  been  originally  proposed  by  Wm. 
Phiquepal  d'Arusmont  in  1825,  but  had  lain  dormant 
till  the  period  of  the  world-war." 

"I  notice  also  different  alphabet  letters,  and  a  dif- 
ferent alphabetical  order.     What  may  that  be?" 

"The  alphabetic  order  of  your  day  was  of  the  calf- 
path  variety.  Not  only  did  it  omit  many  sounds  found 
in  other  languages,  but  the  consonants  followed  each 
other  by  chance,  the  vowels  were  mingled  promiscu- 
ously, and  had  to  be  remembered  by  rote.  Our  alpha- 
bet can  be  remembered  logically,  because  the  groups 
follow  each  other  naturally  from  throat  to  lip,  and 
within  each  group  they  range  from  softest  to  harshest, 
so  the  whole  series  is  unmistakable.  The  signs  that 
represent  them  too,  are  no  longer  of  the  Phoenician 
hieroglyphic  type  but  each  group  has  its  root  sign, 
and  it  is  altered  in  the  same  way  from  softest  to  harsh- 


102     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

est,  so  that  the  alphabet  is  reduced  to  five  signs  with 
standard  variations.  Moreover,  we  have  simplified,  or 
rather  standardized  all  languages  to  a  few  main  sounds, 
that  are  the  easiest  distinguished,  so  that  differences 
too  minute  are  eliminated." 

"That  is  very  sensible ;  for  even  the  scientific  phon- 
etic script  of  our  days  was  still  based  on  the  old  tradi- 
tional Phoenician  letters.  But  if  you  will  forgive  me 
for  changing  the  subject,  I  am  hungry;  how  about 
some  lunch?" 

About  this  subject,  indeed,  there  was  practically  no 
difference  of  opinion.  When  we  had  done  justice  to 
the  simple  but  exquisite  viands,  we  walked  around. 
As  I  had  unguardedly  expressed  a  desire  to  visit  the 
rocks  in  the  ocean  where  nested  seals,  I  begged  her 
to  dismiss  my  idle  fancy  from  her  mind,  as  an  im- 
possibility. 

"But  it  is  not  so  impossible  as  you  think,"  smiled 
she.  She  went  to  the  motor,  and  from  a  box  under 
the  seat  drew  out  two  pairs  of  water-shoes,  a  contriv- 
ance which  was  slipped  over  the  shoes,  and  expanded 
into  a  miniature  canoe.  We  helped  each  other  both 
in  putting  them  on,  and  in  balancing  each  other  while 
walking  on  the  water,  by  holding  each  other's  hand. 
Of  course  I  was  inexpert,  yet  we  managed  very  easily 
to  cross  over  the  waves,  and  later  to  return.  However, 
this  was  no  mean  exercise ;  and  when  we  had  returned, 
I  was  very  glad  to  be  once  more  settled  comfortably 
in  our  nook.  My  comrade  then  started  the  conversa- 
tion by  asking  me  what  modern  peculiarity  in  the  city 
we  had  visited  the  day  before  had  most  struck  me. 

"You  might  well  say,  'pained'  me,  for  there  were 
two  kinds  of  buildings  I  missed." 

"What  were  they?"  queried  she. 

"To  begin  with,  banks.  In  my  day,  these  were 
gorgeous  small  classic  buildings,  sprinkled  around 
business  and  residential  sections;  and  the  stronger  a 


REFLECTIONS  ON  NAMES,  ETC.        103 

bank  wished  to  be  considered,  the  more  land  and 
money  it  lavished   on  its  housing." 

"But  these  buildings  must  have  cost  a  mint  of 
money !" 

"Yes  indeed!" 

"Who  paid  for  them  ?" 

"I  suppose  the  stockholders." 

"Did  they  do  it  with  their  own  money?" 

"I  should  say  not ;  they  took  it  from  the  customers 
of  the  bank." 

"Therefore  the  more  expensive  the  building  of  a 
bank,  the  worse  a  business  proposition  the  bank  must 
have  been  for  the  public." 

"I  never  looked  at  it  in  that  light,  though  I  was 
always   suspicious   of  handsome   buildingSo" 

"What  was  the  use  of  their  having  any  buildings  of 
their  own  ?" 

"None  at  all;  if  they  had  added  upper  stories  to 
their  buildings,  and  rented  them  out  as  offices,  they 
would  have  been  far  more  prosperous.  Or,  better  still, 
they  might  simply  have  rented  cheap  and  inconspicuous 
offices,  and  thus  saved  their  depositors'  money." 

My  comrade  looked  at  me  slyly,  as  she  asked,  "Now 
do  tell  me  what  was  the  use  of  the  banks?" 

"Why,  they  took  money  on  deposit,  sometimes 
giving  interest  on  it,  and  sometimes  not." 

"What  did  they  do  with  it?" 

"They  loaned  it  out  on  interest  to  business  men  and 
farmers." 

"But  what  was  there  in  that  that  the  state  could 
not  do?  Did  your  government  have  no  post-office  to 
take  money  on  deposit,  and  no  land  banks  or  business 
department  to  support  commerce  and  agriculture?" 

"Surely;  but  then  rich  men  made  money  out  of 
those  transactions." 

"Did  people  choose  to  patronize  these  banks  as 
especially  safe?" 


104     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

"Why  no;  defalcations  of  large  sums  ocurred  often. 
If  caught,  the  absconder  was  sent  to  jail  for  not  more 
than  a  couple  of  years,  so  that  it  paid  to  "defalcate" 
—  notice,  I  am  not  saying  stealing,  which  meant  taking 
a  loaf  or  two,  which  was  punished  by  ten  years  in  the 
penitentiary.  If  the  bank  failed,  the  manager  only 
had  to  hang  up  a  sign  that  payments  were  suspended, 
and  policemen  drove  the  unfortunate  depositors  out 
in  the  street  to  whistle  for  their  money,  till  they  got 
tired." 

"But  that  was  a  scandal !  Did  the  people  do  nothing 
about  it?" 

"They  tried  to  institute  government  guarantee  of 
deposits;  but  the  bankers  did  not  like  that,  for  it 
would  have  meant  close  supervision ;  so  they  insisted 
that  such  a  policy  was  'anarchistic'  The  only  thing 
comparable  to  a  banker's  fury  at  the  notion  that 
depositors'  accounts  should  be  guaranteed  was  the 
frothing  at  the  mouth  of  a  politician  at  the  thought 
of  a  recount  of  ballots.  Of  course,  if  he  had  been 
honest,  he  would  have  not  only  welcomed,  but  zealously 
insisted  on  recounts  beyond  the  possibility  of  cavil; 
and  such  an  attitude  in  a  republic  was  ludicrous  if  not 
sinister." 

"I  now  understand  why  banks  were  abolished.  Were 
they  not  an  unnecessary  evil?" 

"Now  that  you  have  made  me  review  their  nature, 
I  think  I  must  agree  with  you ;  but  habit  had  long 
hypnotized  me.  Of  course  their  functions  are  neces- 
sary, but  they  should  not  be  run  for  private  profit, 
and  at  the  expense  of  the  public;  and  their  buildings 
were  unquestionably  wasteful.  So  I  should  cease 
regretting  their  disappearance." 

"And  what  were  the  other  buildings  you  missed?" 

"Churches." 

Roguishly  she  smiled,  "So  you  think  that,  being 
churchless,  we  must  also  be  godless?" 


REFLECTIONS  ON  NAMES,  ETC.        105 

Chivalrously,  though  my  heart  misgave  me,  I  pro- 
tested, "No,  indeed!  Yet,  of  course,  if  your  race  took 
delight  in  worshipping  God  in  common,  you  would 
naturally  have  churches !" 

My  companion  retorted  irritatingly,  "So  all  the  cities 
of  your  day  had  what  you  called  'churches'?" 

"Of  course !  Why,  there  were  cities  which  had  so 
many  that,  for  instance,  like  Brooklyn  and  Philadel- 
phia, many  were  proud  to  call  themselves  the  'city  of 
churches'." 

"Splendid  !"  enthused  my  companion,  —  "but  what 
of  the  cities  that  had  the  fewest ;  —  were  there  any 
with  none?" 

"None,"  boasted  I ;  "wherever  there  was  a  human 
being,  there  was  felt  the  need  of  God.  Even  among 
the  heathen    ..." 

"Stop  a  moment,  friend!  What  do  you  mean  by 
'heathen'?"  sweetly  inquired  the  splendid  creature 
beside  me. 

"A  pagan,"  explained  I  unctuously  and  condescend- 
ingly, "was  a  member  of  some  uneducated,  unenlight- 
ened tribe,  that  had  never  been  converted  to  Chris- 
tianity." 

"Were  there  many  left  in  your  day,  —  let  me  see, 
that  must  have  been,  since  its  beginning,  — " 

"About  two  thousand  years,"  rejoined  I.  "Yes,  there 
were  still  millions  of  them,  —  indeed,  the  majority  of 
the  inhabitants  of  the  world." 

"And  where  were  they  located?" 

"Mostly  in  distant  lands  where  the  national  language 
differed,  —  in  Africa,  Asia,  and  the  more  remote  dis- 
tricts of  America." 

"But  you  said  that  even  among  the  heathen  ..." 

"Yes,  even  among  them  there  was  always  some 
edifice  devoted  to  worship  of  some  kind,  however 
debased  its  object ;  some  temple,  some  lodge,  some 
fane,  if  only  a  fetish,  if  only  some  tahsman." 


106     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

"And  did  the  people  of  your  day  expect  that  such 
churches  would  always  exist?" 

"Of  course  we  did!  It  is  true,  however,  that  the 
believers  of  a  sect  anticipated  the  disappearance  of  all 
others,  and  that  their  own  would  survive ;  still  on  the 
whole,  most  of  the  largest  thrived   ..." 

"And  did  you  think  that  that  would  go  on  forever?" 

"Well,  why  not?  Aside  from  chiefly  honorary  super- 
vising officers,  there  was  nobody  whose  business  it  was 
to  think  of  the  future,  —  that  was  left  to  Providence." 

"But  did  not  your  sacred  writings  consider  those 
problems?" 

I  was  about  to  say  "no,"  when  before  the  candor  of 
those  gentle  eyes  my  m,ind  misgave  me.  So  I  said  that 
the  last  pages  of  the  Revelation  described  the  New 
Jerusalem  as  lacking  a  temple,  for  "the  Lord  and  the 
Lamb  were  to  be  the  temple  thereof." 

"But  then  you  must  have  known  that  such  variegated 
houses  of  worship  must  have  been  doomed,  and  that 
even  by  your  own  revelation?" 

"Well,  yes,  technically,"  answered  I,  shrugging  my 
shoulders. 

With  the  tormenting  denseness  of  a  child,  she  per- 
sisted, "But  what  do  you  mean  by  'technically'?" 

"Why,  I  mean  that  the  words,  parsed  grammatically, 
do  really  mean  that ;  but  then  everybody  knows  that 
that  was  only  a  poetic  effusion,  very  admirable,  sug- 
gestive and  consoling,  of  course,  —  but  not  to  be  taken 
literally."   . 

"Oh,  I  understand,"  volunteered  she,  with  a  sigh  of 
relief,  "you  mean  he  was  crazy,  insane." 

"No,  no,"  cried  I  heatedly ;  "no,  indeed ;  but  it  was 
a  sort  of  counsel  of  perfection,  which  had  no  applica- 
tion to  the  then  existing  state  of  affairs." 

My  companion  sat  up  and  edged  further  away  from 
me.  as  if  she  had  been  assailed  by  some  unholy  thought, 
as  if  she  suspected  me  of  duplicity,  as  if  some  leprous 


REFLECTIONS  ON  NAMES,  ETC.        107 

moral  strain  had  suddenly  manifested  on  my  skin.  I 
read  the  thought  in  her  horrified  eyes,  her  open  mouth, 
her  labored  breath,  her  paling  cheek. 

"No,  no,  there  is  nothing  wrong  about  it,"  I  im- 
plored, trying  to  retain  her  favor.  "Do  you  not  kno:w, 
friend,  that  sometimes  one  must  take  things  with  a 
grain  of  salt?" 

"No,  I  do  not,"  retorted  she.  "What  do  you  mean? 
Either  a  thing  is  true,  or  it  is  false." 

"Of  course,"  I  chimed  in,  impatiently.  "We  all  under- 
stand that ;  there  is  a  realm,  like  the  mathematical,, 
where  you  call  a  spade  a  spade,  though  even  there, 
you  know,  there  is  the  square  root  of  seven  that  you 
can  demonstrate  is  inexpressible.  But  in  the  realm  of 
poetry,  you  know,  ..." 

"But  I  thought  that  your  sacred  writings  were  not 
merely  poetry,  but  doctrine,    ..." 

"Of  course,"  snapped  I.  "It  was  doctrine,  especially 
to  such  as  had  no  eyes  to  see  any  more  in  it.  Besides, 
were  there  not  commentators  of  recognized  authority 
on  every  side  of  every  question?  And  of  the  ultra- 
orthodox  who  would  feel  no  qualms  in  reproducing 
a  vision  in  terms  of  a  theodolitic  survey,  would  you 
find  any  two  who  agreed?" 

Carried  away  with  righteous  indignation  at  her 
impugning  my  honesty  or  sanity,  I  would  have  con- 
tinued, but  that  on  her  mobile  expression  I  read 
something  more  compelling  than  her  former  distrust. 
It  was  pity,  the  compassion  of  a  mother-bird  for  her 
wounded  offspring,  the  tenderness  of  a  parent  for  a 
half-witted  child.  She  seemed  anxious  to  atone  for 
her  heartlessness  by  a  charitable  explanation.  "Oh,  I 
see,"  hastened  she,  "in  those  days  the  human  mind 
had  not  yet  acquired  the  ability  of  thinking  through 
whatever  subjects  it  had  undertaken ;  and  then,  of 
course,  there  was  not  yet  our  own  thorough-going 
divorce  between  religion  and  financial  support.     Men 


108      A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

were  still  compelled  to  be  orthodox  to  hold  on  to 
some  position.  Of  course,  in  those  dark  ages  even 
honest  men,  —  I  beg  your  pardon,"  added  she  quickly, 
as  she  must  have  seen  the  outward  sign  of  the  inward 
choke  it  gave  me  to  have  our  twentieth  century  classed 
with  medieval  times ;  and  I  should  have  begun  a  cata- 
logue of  the  inventions  of  our  age  had  I  not  been 
more  anxious  to  keep  the  returning  good-will  of  my 
only  protector,  even  at  the  price  of  being  commiser- 
ated. If  indeed  I  had  come  to  be  part  of  an  age 
where  such  expediencies  were  unnecessary  it  was  surely 
an  evangel,  and  the  kingdom  of  God  upon  earth.  She 
continued,  "You  have  therefore  convinced  yourself 
that  we  have  no  churches  such  as  you  had  in  your 
own  day,  and  you  see  the  fulfilment  of  the  prophecy 
of  your  book  of  Revelation." 

"What  a  pity!"  sighed  I  involuntarily;  "oh,  you 
would  have  thought  so,  too,  had  you  ever  seen 
Westminster  Abbey,  or  Notre  Dame,  or  the  Cologne 
Cathedral,  —  or,  in  our  own  United  States   ..." 

"Halt,  my  friend,"  kindly  interrupted  my  com- 
panion, with  tjie  most  irritating  calm ;  a  tranquil  seren- 
ity founded  on  a  gentle  but  undeviating  thought. 
"Some  day  we  shall  devote  ourselves  to  the  enjoyment 
of  architecture,  after  we  have  visited  its  modern  devel- 
opments ;  and  you  will  see  that  there  is  no  reason  to 
return  to  those  medieval  times  when  the  stained  glass 
windows  were  permanent,  and  where  the  atmosphere 
was  never  changed  for  centuries  since  their  erection, 
and  where  incense  was  necessary  for  disinfection.  But 
to-night  let  us  study  that  extinct  kind  of  a  building 
you  used  to  call  a  city  church.  Tell  me  all  about  it. 
What  was  its  use?" 

.  .  "Why,    to    enable   men    to    hold    divine    service    on 
Sundays." 

"But  what  about  the  other  days  of  the  week?" 
"Why,  they  stood  empty,  except  possibly  for  their 


REFLECTIONS  ON  NAMES,  ETC.        109 

Wednesday  or  mid-week  prayer-meeting;  which,  how- 
ever, was  often  held  elsewhere." 

"Did  they  keep  them  locked?" 

"They  did  in  most  cases;  so  that  it  was  easier  to 
break  out  of  a  jail  than  into  one  of  them,  so  carefully 
were  they  barred.  Yet  I  must  acknowledge  that  later 
some  were  held  open  for  worship ;  but  they  might 
mostly  have  been  kept  closed,  for  the  little  use  that  was 
made  of  them." 

"Why,  was  not  that  a  great  waste,  using  buildings 
so  large  for  only  one-seventh  of  the  time?" 

"I  never  thought  of  it  in  that  light,"  said  I ;  "but  I 
suppose  you  are  right." 

"And  did  they  not  cost  a  great  deal  of  money  that 
went  to  persons  who  least  needed  it,  being  best  able 
to   care    for   themselves?" 

I  smiled  sardonically.  "I  might  spend  the  whole 
afternoon  descanting  on  the  sinful  waste  on  stone  and 
mortar,  when  precious  human  souls  were  perishing  in 
materialism." 

"And  were  they  always  full,  even  on  Sundays?" 
pitilessly  continued  my  interlocutor. 

"I  wish  you  had  not  asked  that  question,"  whispered 
I.  "Only  a  hundred  out  of  a  thousand  were  ever 
really  full.  On  Easter  and  Christmas,  perhaps,  there 
were  large  congregations ;  but  usually  there  were  more 
empty  than  full  pews,  and  even  so  there  were  pews  for 
not  more  than  one-quarter  of  the  population." 

"And  I  suppose  the  ministers  were  put  to  all  ex- 
tremities to  draw  congregations?" 

"Alas !  Each  one  had  to  employ  ingenuity  greater 
than  that  of  his  nearest  rival.  Since  the  majority  were 
of  course  the  most  unspiritual,  the  means  chosen  to 
attract  them  had  to  be  suited  to  their  unconsecrated 
natures,  and  services  had  to  admit  all  kinds  of  pictur- 
esque and  vaudeville  features,  to  the  detriment  of  the 
pure  spiritual  purpose,  which,  after  all,  was  the  funda- 


no     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

mental  object  of  the  whole  endeavor.  It  used  to  be 
a  most  inexcusable  waste  of  effort." 

''And  did  they  ever  move  the  churches?" 

I  looked  up  with  surprise  akin  to  fear,  on  so  vital 
a  spot  had  my  comrade  blundered ;  —  there  could  not 
have  been  any  malice  in  this  young  girl's  curiosity. 
"Yes,  they  did;  and  often  there  was  spent  more  on 
the  moving  of  a  single  building  than  on  the  whole 
missionary  budget  of  a  denomination.  For  instance, 
in  my  own  days,  over  two  million  dollars  were  spent 
moving  a  large  New  York  church  not  more  than  five 
blocks." 

"Was  that  not  foolish  ?" 

"No,  because  the  churches  that  did  not  move  died. 
For  example,  in  London,  the  church  of  St.  Ethelburga, 
near  the  Bank  of  England,  was  in  a  district  where  not 
a  single  person  had  for  years  resided,  —  except  during 
business  hours,  —  for  over  a  hundred  years.  Yet  the 
taxes  had  supported  a  clergyman  there  all  that  time, 
and  he  had  to  attract  congregations  by  all  sorts  of  curi- 
osities of  ritual,  liturgy,  or  teachings. 

"Another  friend  of  mine  had,  on  the  boundary  line 
of  Wales,  in  a  village  consisting  of  three  cottages, 
charge  of  a  church  whose  seating  capacity  was  over 
twelve  hundred ;  —  because  over  five  hundred  years 
ago  that  hamlet  had  been  a  thriving  town ;  and  yet 
that  clergyman  was  supported  by  the  rates  of  the 
county.  So  that  churches  that  did  not  move,  even  if 
they  survived  through  endowment,  became  absurd." 

"In  both  the  church  that  moved  five  blocks,  and  the 
churches  that  were  stranded,  your  days'  system  lacked 
elasticity,  did  it  not?" 

"You  are  right." 

"Besides,  during  the  lapse  oi  so  many  centuries, 
must  not  the  structure  of  these  churches  have  become 
most  inconvenient?" 

"Yes,  indeed !    Some  of  the  denominations  were  so 


REFLECTIONS  ON  NAMES,  ETC.        Ill 

wedded  to  their  own  traditions  that  they  continued  to 
build  edifices  entirely  unsuited  to  modern  conditions. 
The  Gothic  style,  for  instance,  was  developed  in  an 
age  when  the  object  of  the  services  was  to  allow 
immense  crowds  to  be  spectators  of  a  gorgeous 
spectacle,  and  it  was  entirely  unsuitable  to  the  reading 
of  a  liturgy  that  was  to  be  understood  by  a  crowd 
supposed  to  be  swayed  by  every  word  uttered.  And 
yet,  even  in  my  days,  out  of  pure  habit,  they  went  on 
building  structures  in  which  the  human  voice  would 
not  carry  from  the  altar  to  the  chancel-steps,  let  alone 
three  times  that  distance,  to  the  doors.  Reformed 
bodies  did  indeed  build  auditoriums  of  practical  acoust- 
ical qualities ;  yet  such  monstrosities  did  continue, 
directed  by  the  most  venerable  dignitaries." 

"To  what  cause  do  you  attribute  such  unreasonable 
conditions?" 

"To  the  inchoateness  of  democracy.  Each  person 
did  the  best  he  could ;  but  as  he  was  the  competitor 
of  his  neighbors,  his  success  mostly  depended  on 
exaggeration  of  his  peculiarities ;  at  any  rate  no  one 
person  would  have  advised  another  except  to  his  detri- 
ment. So  inveterate  had  grown  this  suspiciousness  of 
sordidness  that  if,  as  in  the  story,  you  had  offered  a 
person  "herrings  for  nothing,''  they  would  have  been 
refused.  There  was  no  malice,  however.  Then  these 
bodies  were  chiefly  aristocratic  in  structure,  being 
directed  by  the  oldest,  and  richest,  and  therefore  least 
conscious  of  the  latest  needs  of  the  times,  and  the 
least  disposed  to  exert  themselves  to  see  their  inten- 
tions properly  carried  out.  I  remember  a  lovely  church 
where  some  rich  friend  of  the  parish  caused  the  erec- 
tion of  a  whole  aisle  so  situated  that  out  of  a  hundred 
seats  there  were  no  more  than  eight  from  which  you 
could  see  even  the  pulpit,  at  the  chancel  steps." 

"Was  it  due  to  lack  of  intelligent  co-ordination  of 
means  to  ends?" 


112     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

"Evidently;  but  how  can  you  avoid  that  if  you  are 
going  to  preserve  Hberty  of  action?" 

"Well,"  retorted  my  indignant  comrade,  "do  you 
hold  that  liberty  necessarily  implies,  or  even  condones 
waste,  stupidity,  duplication,  fossilization,  architectural 
monstrosities,  vulgarities,  or  competitive  animosities?" 

"I  should  not ;  but  how  can  all  this  be  avoided  with- 
out infringing  on  personal  liberty?" 

"True  liberty  is  the  result  of  law;  of  compulsory 
education,  temperance,  and  socialization.  Ignorance, 
intemperance  and  competition  are  the  brood  of  license, 
that  devil  who  masquerades  as  an  angel  of  light.  It  is 
the  'temple  devil,'  who  deceives  the  very  elect,  and  who 
can  be  detected  only  by  the  innate  compass  of  con- 
science. That  is  why  your  democracy  which  tried  to 
remain  estranged  from  religion  failed ;  we  cannot  get 
along  without  God." 

"I  would  like  to  see  how  these  problems  can  be 
better  solved  than  among  us !"  taunted  I,  bitterly. 

"That  wish  can  easily  be  gratified.  I  shall  take  you 
to  visit  our  next  ward-meeting.  Then  you  can  judge 
for  yourself,  not  how  far  we  have  succeeded  in  solving 
that  problem,  but  how  earnestly  we  have  striven  to  do 
so.  We  are  conscious  that  liberty  is  inseparable  from 
servitude  to  law ;  and  we  have  not  shrunk  from  con- 
ditions of  compulsion  which  that  traitor  to  real 
democracy,  Herbert  Spencer,  did  not  scruple  to  an- 
tagonize by  naming  them  the  'coming  slavery.'  You 
shall  see  for  yourself." 

"When?"  asked  I  eagerly. 

"To-morrow,  perhaps !" 

"Why  to-morrow,  and  why  perhaps?" 

"One  question  at  a  time!" 

"Well,  why  'perhaps'  ?"  selected  I.  Might  you  change 
your  mind,  or  might  your  favor  towards  me  cease 
before  morning  light?"    . 

Lilac  laughed.    "My  favor  towards  you  is  sure." 


REFLECTIONS  ON  NAMES,  ETC.        113 

"Well,  then,  what  element  of  uncertainty  can 
there  be?" 

"And  what  about  the  weather?" 

"But  we  are  not  going  for  an  outing,  and  if  the 
meeting  you  speak  of  is  held  to-morrow,    .    .    ." 

"That  is  the  very  point ;  'if  is  a  mighty  word.  From 
your  words,  I  take  it  that  in  your  age  holidays  came 
by  calendar,  irrespective  of  the  weather  ..." 

"How  else  could  they  come?"  interrupted  I,  truc- 
ulently. 

"With  us,  my  friend,"  gently  reproved  the  girl, 
"holidays  do  come  by  calendar,  in  a  general  way;  but 
inasmuch  as  their  purpose  is  rest  and  recuperation  by 
visiting  nature,  would  it  not  be  foolish  to  hold  them 
rain  or  shine  ?  Would  it  not  be  wiser,  whenever  the 
weather  was  evidently  unpropitious,  to  postpone  them 
till  the  next,  or  even  the  second  day,  so  as  to  secure 
the  holiday's  full  benefit?" 

"Theoretically,  I  do  agree  with  you,"  responded  I 
after  several  minutes  of  reflection.  "In  my  times,  people 
really  did  take  their  pleasures  sadly.  I  often  have  been 
compelled  to  smile  at  the  lines  of  the  faithful  carrying 
umbrellas  to  church ;  and  as  to  the  numbers  of  these 
that  the  faithful  lost,  —  taken  by  other  absent-minded 
people,  by  mistake,  of  course,  —  I  would  be  ashamed 
to  give  the  statistics.  But  how  do  you  manage  without 
fixed  dates?" 

"Very  simply.  Though  the  general  dates  are  set  in 
advance,  nevertheless  our  weather  experts  may,  at  any 
time  before  the  morning  work-time,  postpone  the  holi- 
day. Then  the  whistle  blows,  the  city  chimes  sound, 
and  work  goes  on  as  usual  as  would  have  happened 
on  the  next  working  day.  Nobody  complains,  because 
the  change  is  in  the  public  interest.  In  extreme  cases, 
the  holiday  may  be  postponed  two,  or  even  three  days. 
Sometimes,  even  so,  the  weather  is  unpropitious ;  but 
statistics  prove  that  a  good  result  is  achieved  in  the 


114     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

great  majority  of  cases.  Thus  they  are  saved  from 
becoming  the  mockeries  they  were  so  often  when 
'pulled  off'  regardless  of  the  weather." 

My  face  must  have  expressed  the  involuntary  amuse- 
ment that  welled  up  from  within  me  at  this  so  unusual 
thought,  for  my  fair  mentor  asked  me  anxiously 
whether  I  did  not  consider  the  arrangement  a  reason- 
able one?  I  assured  her  I  did.  "There  is  no  doubt  that 
we  may  consider  good  weather  as  of  very  direct  and 
indubitable  divine  appointment.     But   ..." 

''And  what  about  the  traditional  names  of  the  days 
of  the  week,  and  of  the  months;  have  you  retained 
them?  At  the  French  Revolution,  some  efifort  was 
made  to  get  rid  of  a  lot  of  historical  and  mythological 
rubbish ;  and  the  Quakers  also  contented  themselves 
with  numbers.  Really,  our  calendar  was  a  crazy-quilt 
patch-work,  with  Norse  deities  for  the  week,  and 
Roman  history  for  months.  I  devoutly  hope  you  have 
succeeded  in  relegating  all  that  rubbish  to  the  garret ; 
but  what  else  could  you  do?" 

"As  to  the  week-days,  a  change  was  rather  easy. 
Can  you  not  guess  them  yourself?"  quizzed  my  peda- 
gogue. 

"Well,  I  suppose  Sunday  must  have  become  church- 
day.    Am  I  right?" 

"Pretty  nearly.  Might  we  not  also,  to  broaden  our 
conception,   call   it   'worship   day'?" 

"Agreed.  Well,  on  the  principle  that  cleanliness  is 
next  to  godliness,  I  suppose  Monday  would  have 
become  wash-day?" 

"Correct.    Go  on  guessing!" 

"I  had  rather  not.  It  will  save  time  if  you  will 
give  them ;  —  hold,  what  about  'pay-day'  for  Satur- 
day?" 

"Right  also !"  laughed  Lilac.  "The  others  were 
mending-day,  for  Tuesday,  outing-day  for  Wednesday, 
when  we  hold  a  half  holiday;  visiting  day  for  Thurs- 


REFLECTIONS  ON  NAMES,  ETC.        115 

day;  order-clay  for  Friday.  Now  you  have  them  all. 
They  were  no  creations ;  mere  recognition  of  universal 
habits   of   civilization." 

"And  what  about  the  weather?"  nagged  I. 

"Here  also  it  is  considered.  We  are  supposed  to 
work  eight  hours  a  day,  and  forty  hours  a  week.  If 
bad  weather  should  prevail  at  the  time  of  the  Wednes- 
day outing  half-holiday,  we  simply  go  on  working, 
and  take  the  outing  on  the  next  day.  The  pay-day, 
however,  is  not  changed,  because  of  the  supplies  that 
must  be  laid  in,  and  neither  depends  on  the  weather, 
nor,  for  household  reasons  can  be  postponed  till  the 
next  day." 

"What  about  the  months?" 

"With  them  you  are  already  familiar.  The  Roman 
names  were  a  curse,  perpetually  reminding  of  times  of 
tyranny.  The  Quaker  months,  being  mere  numbers, 
were  absurd,  and  uninspiring.  The  French  nature- 
names  would  have  been  lovely,  but  applied  to 
the  northern  hemisphere  only,  and  not  to  South 
America  and  Australasia,  where  Christmas  time  calls 
out  fans  and  mosquito  netting,  and  palm  beach  suits. 
For  the  same  reason  were  barred  the  names  of  flowers, 
trees,  birds,  fire  or  sea.  The  only  universal  element 
of  human  life  is  virtue,  and  as  the  various  virtues  were 
well  illustrated  by  the  names  of  famous  men  born  in 
the  respective  months,  we  have  called 

January,  from  Franklin,  Organizationtide. 
February,  from   Lincoln,  Sociabletide. 
March,  from  Washington,  Intellectseason. 
April,  from  Jefferson,  Harmonytide. 
May,  from  Grant,  Determinationtide. 
June,  from  Peter  the  Great,  Practicaltide. 
July,  from  Caesar,  Parentaltide. 
August,  from  Napoleon,  Lovetide. 
September,  from  Taft,  Artseason. 


116     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

October,  from  Nelson,  Visiontide. 
November,  from  Charles  I,  Policytide. 
December,  from  Bimyan,  Prophecytide. 

"So  far,  so  good.  But  have  even  your  enlightened 
intellects  availed  to  compromise  between  the  lunar  and 
solar  astronomical  conflict?  If  your  weeks  are  lunar, 
are  your  months  and  years  solar?" 

"Of  course,  we  have  to  accept  the  duality  of  nature's 
arrangement ;  if  we  did  not,  our  arrangements  would 
be  unnatural,  and  therefore  wrong.  They  would  be 
as  irrational  as  the  old  arrangement  of  some  months 
of  28,  30  or  31  days.  Our  weeks  are  strictly  lunar, 
so  we  have  each  year  thirteen  full-moon  festivals.  Our 
months  and  years  must  necessarily  be  solar.  Our 
months  are  twelve  in  number,  and  each  has  thirty  days. 
We  then  have  five  intercalary  days,  which  institution 
is  not  any  more  awkward  than  having  two  kinds  of 
February  and  the  rest  of  the  months  of  different 
lengths.  These  days  are  the  astronomical  equinoxes, 
shortest  and  longest  days,  and  a  festival  that  cele- 
brates the  institution  of  the  federation  of  the  world, 
and  the  parliament  of  man.  On  it  is  celebrated  grati- 
tude for  the  harvests,  and  commemoration  of  the 
dead." 

"Oh,  I  see,  a  sort  of  Fourth  of  July,  Thanksgiving, 
and  All  Saints'  Day  all  rolled  into  one?" 

"Almost.  The  shortest  day  of  the  year  corresponds 
of  course  to  your  Christmas;  the  vernal  equinox,  to 
your  Easter;  the  longest  day,  to  your  Festival  of  the 
Transfiguration,  which  alone  was  outside  of  the  Savior's 
life-cycle ;  and  the  autumnal  equinox  roughly  to  your 
All  Saints'  Day,  or  Hallow  E'en.  These  four  festivals 
come  regularly  every  three  months,  while  the  fifth 
and  sixth  come  one  month  following  the  vernal 
equinox,  at  the  beginning  of  the  New  Year,  not  in 
the  middle  of  summer,  where  the  heat  incapacitates. 


REFLECTIONS  ON  NAMES,  ETC.        117 

It  is  thus  a  sort  of  Memorial  Day,  when  nature  is  at 
its  best,  and  roses  bloom." 

"And  how  do  yoU(  reckon  your  years?  Do  you 
continue  the    reckoning   from    Christ?" 

"We  would  gladly  have  done  so,  but  it  is  universally 
admitted  that  it  was  three  years  too  late,  so  that  it  was 
in  any  case  inaccurate.  The  Hebrew  world-creation 
was  denied  by  half  of  that  same  race.  The  Hegira  of 
Mohammed  was  too  provincial.  The  Roman  founda- 
tion was  the  most  inaccurate  of  all,  besides  reminding 
us  of  the  most  colossal  tyranny  in  the  world,  that 
even  prolonged  itself  another  millenium  in  Germany, 
and  really  caused  the  world-w^ar  by  the  survival  of 
its  traditions  of  cruelty  and  autocracy  ('kaiser'  was 
only  another  form  of  the  word  'Caesar').  There  was 
therefore  absolutely  nothing  to  do,  either  for  accuracy 
or  inspiration,  than  to  begin  with  the  only  certain,  or 
significantly  human  date,  the  establishment  of  world- 
democracy,  as  indeed  the  French,  at  their  first  revolu- 
tion, had  essayed  to  do.  Perhaps  we  have  erred,  per- 
haps we  might  have  done  better;  but  we  are  willing 
to  improve." 

"You  speak  modestly.  In  our  day  we  had  just 
caught  the  first  glimpses  of  democracy,  and  we  were 
so  conceited  that  we  did  not  realize  in  how  many 
respects  our  professions  were  inconsistent  with  long 
lingering  practices.  Indeed  even  I  did  not  realize  the 
true  state  of  our  afifairs  until  you  led  me  to  describe 
them.  This  laziness  of  thought  must  have  been  the 
chief  cause  of  the  persistence  of  our  deficiencies,  but 
have  you  not  reached  the  limit  of  your  achievements?" 

"We  are  not  likely  to  grow-  conceited  so  long  as  we 
stand  face  to  face  with  the  uncontrollability  of  the 
weather.  Even  if  w'e  could  have  reached  our  limit, 
we  would  then  have  ceased  to  progress.  Self-satisfac- 
tion is  the  first  indication  of  decay.  We  never  even 
speak   of  democracy  as   of   something  already   estab- 


118     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

lished.  To  us  it  remains  a  goal  towards  which  we  are 
to  strive.  Had  we  achieved  it,  we  would  not  worship 
it;  the  statue  that  you  kiss  has  become  an  idol." 

"Even  so,  I  would  like  to  study  it  minutely." 

"If  the  weather  does  not  delay  us,  —  we  shall  to- 
morrow take  part  in  one  of  our  modern  ward-meetings, 
and  you  shall  judge  for  yourself.  Indeed,  this  is  no 
favor  of  mine;  it  is  what  you  in  ancient  times  would 
have  called  a  police-duty,  for  I  shall  have  to  introduce 
you  to  our  neighbors.  Afterwards,  however,  I  shall  be 
glad  to  hear  your  constructive  criticism;  you  may  be 
able  to  help  us  better  than  some  one  of  our  modern 
times,  who  has  never  known  any  other  kind  of  a 
social  structure." 

"Thank  you,"  said  I  humbly.  "I  shall  be  happy 
indeed  if  I  can  be  of  any  service !" 

We  then  went  home. 


CHAPTER  XIV 
THE    LOCAL  WEEKLY   WARD-MEETING 

Next  day  I  was  in  the  garden  a  few  moments  before 
Lilac,  who  had  stopped  by  the  way  to  talk  to  her  father. 
This  permitted  me  the  old-world  attention  of  gathering 
for  her  a  little  bunch  of  flowers,  which  on  her  arrival 
I  offered  to  her.  One-half  of  them  she  accepted;  but 
the  other  she  pinned  on  me,  with  the  words,  "In  our 
democracy,  men  and  women  share  alike  in  everything," 
accompanied  by  a  smile,  a  delicate  blush,  and  the 
slightest  possible  tone  of  reproof,  —  just  enough  to 
bring  out  the  underlying  good  will. 

"A  thousand  pities,"  protested  I  unrepentantly ;  "for 
in  our  days,  the  few  survivals  of  chivalry  ennobled  both 
sexes ;  —  the  men  were  taught  unselfishness,  and  were 
educated  to  the  finer  ideals  of  the  sex." 

"Splendid  for  the  men,"  retorted  Lilac;  "but  was  it 
quite  fair  to  the  women?" 

At  this  I  gasped ;  but  she  continued,  "Justice  for 
both  would  be  far  more  satisfactory;  especially  for 
the  woman,  inasmuch  as  any  privilege  is  a  temptation 
to  conceit,  and  temper.  Did  the  women  of  your  day 
show  themselves  strong  enough  to  remain  friendly 
and  just  after  the  marriage-assurance  that  they  would 
be  provided  for  until  death?" 

"You  are  right ;  not  all  —  indeed,  very  few.    As  soon 

as  marriage  had  given  them  a  legal  claim  to  support, 

119 


120     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

practically  without  any  compensating  duties  —  that 
were  enforceable  —  on  their  part,  they  scorned  their 
husband,  because  he  was  legally  bound;  they  looked 
on  him  as  a  provider,  as  a  slave.  The  courts,  out  of 
"chivalry,"  perhaps,  always  gave  the  woman  the  benefit 
of  the  doubt.  So  long  as  they  were  not  actually 
detected  in  infidelity,  they  could  with  impunity  indulge 
in  any  irresponsibilities  of  temper,  in  professional 
beauty-culture  for  the  behoof  of  others  than  their 
despised  husbands,  in  society  fads,  and  financial  ruin 
to  their  providers.  Then  they  were  given  "alimony," 
which  enabled  them  to  live  according  to  their  fancies 
while  ruining  the  husband  who  not  only  lost  their 
companionship,  but  the  permission  to  enjoy  any  other. 
Here  it  was  the  judges  who  most  were  to  blame, 
moved  as  they  were  by  the  natural  inclination  of  a 
decent  man  to  be  courteous  to  a  beautiful  woman. 
Indeed,  the  women  of  England  were  model  wives  and 
daughters,  chiefly,  perhaps,  because  there  the  laws 
were  most  unjust  to  them.  That  was  an  evil,  but 
human  nature  was  so  weak  that  it  seemed  to  be  needed 
to  arouse  a  sense  of  responsibility.  Alas,  that  human 
nature  is  so  unreliable !" 

"So  you  see  that  those  privileges  to  the  women  of 
your  day  were  an  injustice  to  them ;  and  that  for  their 
behoof,  rather  than  for  the  men's,  whose  legal  rights 
were  increased,  the  pivileges  of  my  sex  have  been 
abolished.  So,  like  the  good  comrades  that  we  are, 
•we  will  share  the  flowers,  while  your  graciousness  in 
offering  them  to  me,  and  in  sharing  them  has  estab- 
lished a  basis  for  future  friendship,"  completed  she 
smiling. 

Then  we  fell  to  real  work,  and  I  had  just  gotten  into 
it,  when  the  chimes  rang.  So  we  adjourned  to  break- 
fast, and  dressing.  The  start  for  the  ward-meeting  was 
made  with  anxiety  and  haste  so  evident,  that  I  grinned 
fatuously. 


LOCAL  WEEKLY  WARD-MEETING       121 

With  the  slightest  pique,  Lilac  asked,  "Well,  what 
can  be  puzzling  you  now?" 

"Because  it  is  pretty  early  for  a  general  religious 
meeting,  is  it  not  ?  At  our  early  service  there  was  never 
more  than  a  corporal's  guard.  Even  at  the  eleven 
o'clock  service,  people  would  not  arrive  until  it  was 
half  over.  Many  came  tardy  on  purpose  to  parade 
before  the  assembled  congregation.  How  have  you 
reformed  human  nature?" 

"Easily,  for  we  have  demonstrated  that  it  was  to 
peoples'  own  interest  to  have  it  over  early,  so  as  to 
keep  the  rest  of  the  day  clear  for  outings  and  recrea- 
tion. With  us  the  various  communities  vie  with  each 
other  in  the  earliness  of  their  communal  worship.  So 
long  as  people  thought  they  were  doing  the  churches 
a  favor  by  attending,  they  set  the  hour  as  late  as  pos- 
sible and  came  tardy ;  but  as  soon  as  it  was  realized 
that  the  favor  was  to  themselves,  they  set  the  hour  as 
early  as  practicable." 

"Yes,  but  that  is  only  a  greater  miracle !  How  did 
you  convince  the  people  that  it  was  to  their  interest 
to  attend  service?" 

"Why,  easily;  it  was  made  a  test  of  loyalty  to  the 
democracy  that  protected  them,  and  fed  them." 

"Good,  but  is  that  inference  sufficient  to  make  an 
impression  on  your  citizens?" 

"Certainly,  for  they  have  to  punch  a  time-clock !" 

I  laughed  heartily.  "An  effective  cure  for  religious 
head-aches ;  more  powerful  than  threats  of  hell !" 

We  were  guided  by  the  chimes  of  the  local  school- 
house.  There  was  a  central  elevator,  near  the  door, 
but  to  accommodate  the  crowds  were  circular  inclined 
planes,  as  in  the  Hudson  Terminal  in  New  York, 
rather  than  steep  stairs.  Stairs  were  in  outside  fire- 
escape  cages,  which  were  fire-proof.  As  in  all  build- 
ings used  as  a  roof-garden,  the  roof  was,  of  course, 
arranged  as  a  horse-shoe  auditorium,  with  the  stage 


122     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

well  forwards  in  the  centre,  where  in  my  days  would 
have  been  the  orchestra.  The  front  seats,  naturally, 
were  the  lowest,  while  the  outermost  ring  was  the 
highest,  so  as  to  afford  a  universal  unobstructed  view 
of  the  platform.  There  were  iron  fixtures  on  which, 
during  too  brilliant  sun-light  or  rain,  were  stretched 
awnings,  which,  however,  were  avoided  whenever  pos- 
sible, to  secure  for  everybody  the  enjoyment  of  being 
out-doors,  while  attending  this  important  meeting. 

We  landed  on  the  floor  below,  which  by  sliding  glass 
partitions  could  easily  be  thrown  into  one.  Around 
the  walls  stood  many  lists  of  names,  and  as  many 
time-clocks  as  were  necessary  to  accommodate  the 
neighborhood  population.  There  were  also  clerks  at 
desks  to  care  for  visitors,  and  give  necessary  informa- 
tion. The  spirit  that  prevailed  reminded  me  strongly 
of  the  courteous  treatment  accorded  the  public  in  the 
libraries  of  my  day.  Being  a  resident,  my  friend  easily 
picked  but  hers,  and  she  piloted  me  to  the  proper  clerk 
to  fill  out  mine. 

Remembering  the  old-world  principle  of  cheating 
the  state  wherever  practicable,  I  asked  her  mischiev- 
ously what  would  happen  if  she  failed  to  record  her 
attendance. 

"You  see,"  beamed  she  in  return,  "with  us  attend- 
ance on  this  meeting  for  political  worship  is  not  so 
much  a  duty,  as  a  privilege.  On  it  depend  all  the  good 
things  of  life ;  reputation  for  character,  advancement  in 
social  career,  friendship,  marriage,  financial  support, 
knowledge  of  opportunities  elsewhere,  education, 
travel-enjoyment,  health-preservation,  amusements,  the 
franchise,  ofiice-holding,  development  of  artistic  taste, 
—  in  short,  everything  that  makes  life  human  or  worth 
living,  beyond  immediate  physical  needs.  Loss  of  all 
that  would  mean  ostracism,  —  practically  solitary  con- 
finement, with  its  attendant  dangers  of  distortion  of 
outlook,  insanity,  and  crime." 


LOCAL  WEEKLY  WARD-MEETING       123 

"Yes,"  agreed  I,  "it  is  evidently  worth  while;  but 
there  must  still  be  to-day,  as  there  were  in  the  past, 
grown-up  children,  of  retarded  development,  who  have 
not  yet  taken  the  social  view-point,  so  that  they  do 
not  realize  that  'queerness'  or  'originality'  is  the  first 
step  towards  the  mad-house.  How  can  they  be 
reached?  They  do  not  think  that  you  mean  anything 
until  something  is  done  about  it.  What  would,  for 
instance,  be  done  to  you.  should  you  fail  to  attend 
some  of  these  weekly  assemblies?  Give  me  the 
details." 

My  Egeria  beckoned  me  over  to  several  lists  of 
names,  who  had  done  just  this,  —  like  the  lists  of 
members  in  arrears,  or  under  suspension,  in  a  club. 
The  first  list  showed  those  who  had  absented  them- 
selves because  of  sickness,  and  we  here  found  many 
sympathetic  friends  discussing  names  that  had  ap- 
peared, or  disappeared.  On  a  person's  first  absence, 
there  was  sent  a  telephone  message,  to  enquire  the 
cause.  In  case  of  sickness,  the  ward  physician  made 
an  immediate  visit,  and  until  recovery  they  were  con- 
tinued on  that  list. 

If  they  had  made  a  voyage  of  any  kind,  their  names 
would  appear  on  the  next  list,  which  showed  absentees, 
and  their  temporary  attendance  elsewhere,  telephoned 
in  by  the  authorities,  even  from  the  other  side  of  the 
globe,  in  most  cases  wirelessly,  so  that  travellers  had 
no  need  of  writing  back  to  everybody  news  of  their 
whereabouts. 

Those  who  were  neither  sick  nor  absent,  and  yet  did 
not  attend,  appeared  on  a  list  of  students  of  citizen- 
ship; for  being  considered  deficient  in  a  social  sense, 
they  were  "condemned"  to  follow  suitable  courses  in 
the  citizenship  classes  of  the  local  school.  Besides  the 
labor  and  time  incident  to  such  a  course,  they  were 
called  on  more  frequently  than  others  to  take  part  in 
the  public  exercises,  so  that  it  paid  a  lazy  person  better 


124     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

to  do  duty  whenever  called  upon,  than  to  avoid  it.  I 
later  noticed  that  every  person  knew  how  to  speak  in 
the  assembly,  and  I  found  that  this  was  one  of  the 
prerequisites  of  graduation  in  the  high  schools. 

Now  I  had  not  been  a  lawyer  by  profession ;  but  I 
had  been  born  a  canny  Scot,  whose  mind  never  relaxes 
its  grip  on  a  problem  until  the  very  end.  So  I  persisted, 
"What  would  happen  if  they  did  not  graduate,  or 
regraduate  from  that  school?" 

"First,  they  would  be  demoted  to  the  next  lower 
efificiency  salary  schedule,  and  if  that  did  not  prove 
effective,  they  would  be  sent  to  the  citizenship  college, 
at  city  head-quarters,"  informed  my  cicerone,  with  a 
glint  of  humor.  "That  is,  I  think,  what  in  your  ancient 
unregenerate  punitive  days,  would  havQ  been  called  a 
city  prison.  Only  these  institutions  have  been  educa- 
tionalized,  and  now  they  are  self-voiding  by  gradua- 
tion. This  avoids  the  miserable  post-prison  conditions 
that  were  such  a  blot  on  your  civilization.  The  city 
citizenship  college  refers  back  to  the  local  ward  citizen- 
ship school  every  central  citizenship  college  graduate 
until  restored  to  satisfactory  standing." 

"Splendid !"  I  urged.  "But  what  of  those  who  fail  to 
graduate  at  the  central  citizenship  college?" 

"They  are  promoted  to  the  county  citizenship  uni- 
versities' specialized  training  schools,  formerly  called 
'penitentiaries.'  They  too  have  been  educationalized, 
and  lead  either  to  graduation  back  to  the  city  citizen- 
ship college,  or  forward  to  the  state  citizenship  hos- 
pitals, which  study  the  physical  basis  of  ethical  failure, 
or  its  psychological  causes." 

"And  to  what  do  these  hospitals  promote?"  asked 
I  with  anticipatory  shuddering. 

"To  the  incinerating  plant,"  she  whispered. 

I  made  a  wry  face.  "I  see ;  I  think  I  shall  attend  the 
interesting  ward  meeting!" 

"These  other  lists,"  which  Lilac  pointed  out  to  me, 


LOCAL  WEEKLY  WARD-MEETING       125 

changing    the    subject,    "complete    the    roll    of    the 
district." 

What  surprised  me  most  was  to  see  my  lovely  friend 
speak  of  these  morally  deficient  people  with  so  little 
abhorrence ;  —  but  I  soon  reflected  that  the  reason  of 
this  was  that  the  wKole  subject  had  been  rationalized 
and  educationalized.  In  our  days  criminality,  not  being 
understood  to  be  social  deficiency  and  ignorance,  was 
surrounded  by  a  certain  mystic  glamor,  which  indeed 
led  to  that  strange  perversity  of  rich,  beautiful  and 
fashionable  ladies  sending  flowers  to  the  most  degraded 
and  brutal  murderers.  Both  this  undeserved  and  un- 
desirable .  abhorrence  or  mysterious  fascination  had 
properly  faded  away  into  natural  educational  interest. 
Its  chief  effort  was  a  regeneration,  which  restored 
delinquents  to  normal  conditions  by  association  with 
earnest  students. 

My  genuine  admiration  of  this  sensible  solution  of 
the  shocking  conditions  of  my  alleged  enlightened 
days  must  have  appeared  on  my  countenance,  for  my 
friend's  approachableness  encouraged  me  to  ask  one 
more  question.  "But  does  it  not  happen  that  the  moral 
invalids  lazily  enjoy  remaining  in  the  inactive  training 
stage,  where  they  are  cared  for,  and  have  no  need  to 
exert  themselves?" 

So  friendly  was  Lilac,  that  from  her  not  even  a 
derisive  laugh  would  have  hurt  my  feelings;  but  my 
question  impressed  her  as  such  an  absurdity  that, 
though  with  the  most  engaging  charm,  she  broke  out 
into  a  peal  of  laughter.  "That  is  the  very  point!  These 
courses  are  neither  inactive  nor  lazy!  In  your  days, 
when  it  was  to  the  institution's  interest  to  retain  a 
man  against  his  will,  men  became  morally  undermined, 
especially  when  short-sighted  social  reformers  supplied 
them  with  too  many  comforts.  Nowadays  when  it  is 
to  the  institution's  interest  to  get  rid  of  the  man  as 
soon  as  consistent  with  the  joint  interest  of  the  indi- 


126     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

vidual  and  the  state,  the  courses  are  made  as  strenuous 
as  possible,  and  men  are  both  as  anxious  to  leave  and 
to  stay,  as  in  olden  times  they  were  to  stay  and  leave." 

I  observed  that,  even  while  speaking,  Lilac  was  care- 
fully scrutinizing  several  lists,  I  looked  at  their  cap- 
tions and  found  that  they  were  appointments  to  take 
part  in  the  next  month's  local  weekly  ward-meeting. 
Suddenly  she  stopped,  took  card  and  pencil,  and  noted 
down  that  she  was  appointed  to  act  in  a  small  dramatic 
sketch  three  weeks  hence.  For  my  friend  I  resented 
that  she  should  be  compelled  to  study  those  lists  so 
carefully.  I  asked  her  if  she  could  not  have  spared 
herself  that  trouble.  "Do  they  not  send  to  appointees 
a  card  by  mail?" 

"No,"  answered  she;  "we  are  responsible  for  discov- 
ering these  appointments  by  ourselves.  It  is  said  that 
this  is  done  not  to  give  us  trouble,  but  to  make  sure 
that  each  person  will  remain  vitally  interested  in  cur- 
rent events  and  their  social  relations." 

Further  on  we  saw  lists  of  the  recent  deaths,  births, 
coming  of  age,  school  graduations,  marriages,  friend- 
ships, social  visits,  —  and  in  short  everything  that  used 
to  appear  in  the  matrimonial,  obituary,  society  or 
scandal  columns  of  my  contemporary  newspapers.  My 
leader  pointed  out  to  me  a  record  of  my  own  visit  to 
her  home,  so  as  to  prove  the  accuracy  of  the  local 
news-gathering  service.  Without  morbidness,  every- 
body seemed  genially  interested. 

As  I  looked  over  the  lists  of  names  I  secretly  sought 
that  of  Orchid,  —  but  in  this  I  was  disappointed ;  so  I 
understood  that  to-day  at  least  I  should  not  find  her. 

In  showing  me  these  various  lists  my  leader  had  to 
pilot  me  skillfully  through  friendly,  good-humored 
crowds ;  bowing  here,  there  saying  a  friendly  word, 
introducing  me  both  unceremoniously  and  cordially  to 
whomsoever  she  judged  it  might  prove  of  mutual 
interest. 


LOCAL  WEEKLY  WARD-MEETING       127 

I  enjoyed  myself  hugely,  for  the  whole  assemblage 
acted  as  one  family,  vitally  and  pleasantly  interested 
in  each  other's  affairs.  Here  was  genuine  scriptural 
neighborliness. 

In  my  days  the  ancient  village  fountain  and  market- 
place gossip  had  become  organized  into  a  most  anom- 
alous assortment  of  scurrilous,  mercenary  newspapers. 
On  the  other  hand,  you  might  in  my  New  York  have 
lived  ten  years  next  to  a  family  without  ever  speaking 
to  any  of  its  members.  Both  of  these  extremes  had 
now  been  redintegrated  into  proper  comradeship, 
which  thus  had  been  rescued  from  the  cacophonous 
mouthings  of  Whitmanesque  literary  bohemians.  After 
about  twenty  minutes,  chimes  called  the  crowds  to  the 
robing-rooms  and  assembly  hall. 

My  guide  then  attended  to  my  needs.  Taking  a 
blank  card  she  had  it  filled  out,  punched,  and  deposited 
in  its  proper  slit.  She  directed  me  to  put  on  one  of 
the  white  robes  worn  by  visitors.  Then  we  hastened 
into  the  assembly  hall  up-stairs,  and  on  the  way  pinned 
on  our  breasts  a  name-card  to  serve  as  a  general  intro- 
duction. 

On  seating  ourselves  we  had  time  to  study  the  plat- 
form, in  front  of  the  stage.  The  desk  was  semi-circular, 
and  in  a  row  behind  it  were  twelve  seats,  facing  the 
audience.  This  reminded  me  of  my  contemporaneous 
fan-shaped  legislative  halls.  Soon  entered  twelve  elders, 
robed  in  different  colors,  each  significative  of  one  of 
the  twelve  departments  of  state  administration :  agri- 
culture, manufacture,  commerce,  communication,  regis- 
tration, health,  eugenic  matrimony,  education,  travel, 
art,  religion,  and  history.  Once  more  the  chimes  rang, 
and  the  local  loyalty  anthem  was  sung.  This  was  fol- 
lowed by  a  presentation  of  the  progress  made  in  and 
by  the  ward  since  the  last  meeting,  set  forth  by  a  boy 
of  high  school  age.  This  began  with  general  civic 
arrangements,  which  aroused  the  interest  of  the  young 


128     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

as  well  as  the  old.  Followed  the  reading  of  some  poems 
and  a  short  story  written  by  a  ward  member  this  last 
week ;  some  pictures  painted  by  a  local  artist  were 
exhibited.  Then  the  assemblage  rose  again  to  sing  the 
national  anthem.  After  this  a  school-girl  held  forth 
briefly  on  the  national  progress  for  that  week,  waving 
the  national  flag.  Last  came  the  international  human- 
ity loyalty-hymn,  followed  by  a  reverent  hush,  in  which 
sounded  a  voice  apparently  from  the  sky,  uttering  an 
oracular  sentiment  suited  to  the  month  and  the  times, 
resuming  the  progress  of  humanity  for  that  week.  As 
soon  as  the  audience  had  sat  down,  a  number  of  grace- 
ful children  costumed  in  the  color  and  symbology  of 
the  month's  flower,  bearing  pretty  baskets,  went 
through  the  assemblage,  distributing  a  spray  of  that 
bloom  to  each  person,  who  saluted  it  with  a  kiss,  and 
carefully  fastened  it  either  in  the  hair,  or  on  the 
garment.  Lilac  turned  around  and  assisted  me  in  this, 
to  avoid  any  awkwardness  in  its  arrangement.  For  this 
assistance  I  was  very  grateful. 

After  these  introductory  exercises  followed  the  in- 
troduction of  new  members.  All  the  visitors,  including 
me,  were  in  turn  called  on  to  rise,  and  to  announce 
our  name  and  business,  closing  with  a  little  verse  of 
scripture  or  poetry.  This  broke  the  ice,  and  initiated 
us  into  general  friendship. 

The  infants  born  in  the  ward  were  then  publicly 
presented  and  named.  They  were  not  less  than  eight 
weeks  old,  to  assure  the  establishment  of  the  infant's 
health,  and  to  permit  the  mother's  presence.  The 
ceremony  therefore  performed  the  double  function  of 
benediction  of  the  new  citizen,  and  thanksgiving  on 
the  part  of  the  parents.  As  the  children  were  all  born 
during  the  same  week,  in  the  same  ward,  their  second 
and  third  names  were  all  the  same,  except  for  the 
terminations  of  the  second,  which  indicated  the  day 
and  hour;  the  first  names  differed  of  course  as  to  the 


LOCAL  WEEKLY  WARD-MEETING      129 

day.  But  each  name  differed  in  some  respect  from 
every  other,  so  that  his  name  was  the  only  one  of  the 
kind  in  the  world. 

Two  of  the  elders,  one  man  and  one  woman,  selected 
by  the  parents,  acted  as  god-father  and  god-mother. 
They  took  the  child  in  their  arms,  kissed  it  on  the  fore- 
head, named  it,  and  uttered  some  short  motto  or 
prognostication,  furnished  by  the  parents'  aspirations 
or  spiritual  experiences,  and  another  one  prepared  by 
the  College  of  Sages.  Then  was  uttered  the  benediction, 
which  was  a  formal  reception  into  membership  of 
humanity's  divine  family  under  the  one  supreme  all- 
embracing  divinity,  the  omnipotent  Father  of  thought, 
of  this  new  loving  son,  through  the  holy  spirit  of  wise 
progressiveness. 

Then  stepped  on  to  the  central  platform  the  indi- 
viduals just  graduated  from  the  local  citizenship  school. 
With  a  hand-shake  by  the  elders  these  were  welcomed 
and  caused  to  kneel  around  the  desk,  where  in  unison 
they  repeated  a  loyalty  pledge  to  humanity. 

"I  pledge  divine  discontent  with  any  but  the  broadest 
possible  understanding  of  the  nature  and  relation  of  things  and 
persons,  and  thereby  to  check  and  correct  all  more  primitive 
instincts  and  impulses.  I  pledge  allegiance  to  nothing  less  than 
all  humanity,  as  represented  to  me  by  my  continent,  and  in- 
terpreted to  me  by  my  country.  I  renounce  all  violence  and 
war,  except  for  the  enforcement  of  liberty  to  others  as  well  as 
to  myself,  subject  to  the  voice  of  nature,  humanity  and  divinity. 
Through  prayer  I  will  seek  the  spiritual  unfoldment  necessary 
to  prepare  me  for  the  existence  beyond  the  grave,  in  the 
heavenly  realm." 

Then  the  whole  assemblage  rose  and  together  recited 
the  Human  Creed: 

I  believe  in  physical  health,  cleanliness  and  temperance; 
and  utter  purity  in  thought,  word  and  deed. 

And  in  truth,  honesty,  accuracy  and  scholarship  which 
demands  reason  for  all  things,  and  without  prejudice  yields  its 
own  opinion  if  shown  to  be  false;  which  tolerates  in  each  man 


130     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

his  own  opinions;  which  leads  to  science,  literature  and  art, 
which  in  earnestness,  sincerity  and  candor  perfects  all  human 
powers. 

I  believe  in  Love,  the  father  and  destiny  of  all  things; 
light  of  light,  fragrance  of  fragrance,  beauty  of  beauty;  who, 
working  both  here  and  beyond,  is  inexorably  just,  and  therefore 
is  the  comforter  of  the  afflicted  and  the  avenger  of  evil  to  the 
thousandth  generation;  who,  by  conscience,  leads  within  myself 
to  the  kingdom  of  heaven,  which  only  the  humble  can  inherit, 
and  which  shall  have  no  end,  forever  and  ever,  Amen. 

During  the  closing  sentences  I  was  aware  of  a 
luminous  cloud,  over  the  desk,  which  descended  and 
lit  the  graduate's  candle  which  he  had  offered  to  one 
of  the  elders,  who  returned  it  to  him  aflame.  Then  the 
elder  placed  his  hands  on  the  graduate's  head,  uttered 
a  prayer  and  benediction,  and  handed  him  his  life- 
certificate.  The  whole  ceremony  did  not  last  more 
than  five  minutes. 

The  assembly  then  sang  one  verse  of  a  marriage 
hymn ;  when,  hand  in  hand,  to  the  circular  desk 
advanced  the  couples  just  graduated  from  the  local 
matrimonial  school,  escorted  by  their  relatives  and 
friends.  First,  all  the  bridegrooms  vowed  faithful  love, 
subject  to  the  decree  of  the  matrimonial  school,  and 
in  token  thereof  presented  their  brides  with  a  ring. 
The  brides  did  Hkewise.  All  knelt,  and  one  elder  placed 
both  hands  on  the  heads  of  a  couple,  pronounced  a 
benediction,  caused  them  to  stand  up,  joined  their 
hands,  and  proclaimed  them  approved  lovers.  As  he 
wished  them  early  promotion  to  the  higher  estate  of 
parenthood,  he  placed  on  their  heads  crowns  of  flowers ; 
and  the  couple  sealed  the  compact  by  a  kiss  in 
public. 

Then  there  was  a  sudden  darkening  of  the  platform ; 
and,  garbed  in  phosphorescent  robes,  there  arose  out 
of  the  desk  a  veiled  form,  which  uttered  a  welcome 
into  the  unseen  world  to  those  who,  during  the  last 
week  had  been  gathered  to  their  fathers.     There  fol- 


LOCAL  WEEKLY  WARD-MEETING       131 

lowed  words  of  consolation  to  the  bereaved,  reminding 
them  to  work  while  it  is  yet  day,  for  they  too  should 
sometime  be  graduated  into  a  higher  state  of  existence. 
One  of  the  mourners,  garbed  in  white,  rushed  towards 
the  spirit-form,  and  tore  off  the  phosphorescent 
mantle ;  whereupon  crashed  a  thunder-clap,  and  a 
brilliant  halo  revealed  a  beautiful  youth,  wearing 
wings,  who  intoned  a  harp-accompanied  chorus,  joined 
in  by  the  whole  assemblage,  which  I  can  compare  only 
to  the  Sanctus  from  Gounod's  CeciHan  Mass. 

That  over,  the  youth  read  the  College  of  Sages' 
answers  to  the  personal  problems  presented  in  writing 
at  the  last  week's  meeting.  He  then  asked  for  other 
questions,  which  had,  by  the  ushers  who  had  distrib- 
uted the  flowers,  already  been  collected  on  basins. 
These  notes  were  written  on  paper,  and  enclosed  in 
uniform  envelopes  found  in  each  seat.  I  later  ascer- 
tained that  not  all  requests  for  counsel  were  answered 
the  very  next  week.  Some  were  delayed,  while  others 
were  never  answered  publicly ;  but  those  who  had  asked 
a  question  would  be  glad  to  attend  regularly  in  expecta- 
tion of  these  oracular  responses.  Among  them  I  had 
handed  in  my  suggestion  that  to  the  current  names  be 
added  one  commemorative  of  one  of  the  great  men  or 
works  of  the  past  history  of  the  world.* 

The  answering  of  these  questions  was  held  to  be 
one  of  the  most  sacred  functions  of  the  College  of 
Sages;  and  it  was  only  with  prayer,  and  after  the  em- 
ployment of  the  most  advanced  scientific  methods  of  all 
kinds,  not  excluding  trained  intuition  and  telepathy, 
and  the  experience  of  the  wisest  of  the  elders,  that 
answers  were  given.  In  my  days,  this  sacred  function 
had  been  exercised  by  hired  penny-a-liners,  in  the  news- 
papers; and  it  was  a  scandal  that  such  were  the  only 
agencies  that  even  recognized  these  sacred  needs  of 

♦NOTE:  This  International  Calendar  of  Heroes  will  be 
found  in  the  Appendix. 


132     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

humanity.  This  asking  and  receiving  of  advice  kept 
the  pubHc  services  in  touch  with  not  only  the  spirit  of 
the  times,  but  the  actual  needs  of  those  who  attended, 
and  therefore  supplied  a  very  genuine  motive  for  reg- 
ular attendance ;  for  no  one  could  tell  when  his  question 
would  be  answered.  The  government  limited  its  advice 
to  questions  asked  at  some  service. 

The  subjects  of  the  questions  boxed  the  compass  of 
the  universe ;  they  were  agricultural,  culinary,  hygienic, 
commercial,  literary,  social,  philosophic,  spiritual,  and 
personal;  in  short,  they  referred  to  all  twelve  of  the 
government-divisions.  They  were  answered  in  various 
ways.  The  agricultural,  hygienic,  culinary  or  commer- 
cial were  often  answered  by  mail,  by  invitation  to  visit 
some  expert  or  even  by  a  call  from  the  expert.  The 
literary  were  answered  by  the  local  librarian.  Social 
problems  were  solved  by  the  ward's  social  committee, 
the  membership  of  which  changed  sufficiently  to  insure 
impartiality  combined  with  expertness.  Only  the  ques- 
tions of  public  interest,  of  general  spiritual  utility  were 
answered  at  the  public  service;  and  the  advice  of  the 
best  qualified  sages  of  the  world  were  thus  freely 
accessible. 

I  now  understood  why  the  modern  problem  was  not 
as  in  my  day  to  bribe  people  to  attend,  but  rather  to 
keep  them  away.  It  was  necessary  to  direct  every 
person  to  his  own  local  assembly,  so  as  to  avoid  over- 
crowding. Visitors  were  restricted  to  bona-fide 
dwellers  of  the  district.  In  my  day  the  monotony  of 
ritual  drove  away  the  men,  but  attracted  the  \»'omen; 
while  in  the  reformed  bodies  this  routine  was  avoided, 
but  only  to  fall  into  vulgarity,  and  the  self-advertise- 
ment of  some  hired  orator,  whose  services  degenerated 
into  a  bad  theatrical  entertainment.  Here,  however, 
the  interest  was  genuinely  human,  and  the  compulsori- 
ness  of  the  attendance,  rather  than  an  imposition,  was 
a  real  favor. 


LOCAL  WEEKLY  WARD-MEETING       133 

These  reveries  were  disturbed  by  the  close  of  the 
giving  of  advice.  The  form  disappeared,  the  artificial 
hght  dissolved  into  the  day-light,  and  the  desk 
remained  bare,  though  strewn  with  flowers.  An  invo- 
cation to  the  divinity  was  then  sung  by  all,  and  the 
second  part  of  the  service  closed,  introducing  its  third 
or  more  strictly  religious  part. 

For  five  minutes"  the  elders  in  turn  recited  parts  of 
modern  and  ancient  scripture.  After  another  very 
short  hymn,  each  uttered  a  few  words  of  interpretation, 
exhortation  or  inspiration,  — •  what  remained  of  the 
ancient  sermon.  Nowadays  lectures  on  all  topics  could, 
at  will,  be  heard  on  the  telephone ;  and  evidently  mere 
discourses  could  no  longer  justify  the  expense  of  time 
imphed  by  the  gathering  of  a  great  assemblage. 

Then,  after  the  exhortations,  came  short,  pithy,  but 
tear-compelling  prayers  for  each  of  the  twelve  depart- 
ments of  the  state's  welfare;  prayers  for  individuals 
who  had  sent  in  requests,  and  for  all  in  need  of  any 
kind. 

Accustomed  as  I  had  been  to  tne  ancient  practice  of 
public  prayer,  as  an  aimless,  rambling  oration,  I  was 
surprised  to  note  that  after  every  petition  there  was 
observed  a  silence  of  equal  length.  To  the  modern 
mind  a  prayer  without  a  time  of  silence  for  reception 
of  an  answer  would  have  seemed  hypocritical.  What 
indeed  is  the  use  of  asking  questions  without  allowing 
time  for  a  reply? 

Then  came  the  supreme  moment  of  the  service,  when 
from  within  the  desk  was  taken  a  large  flagon,  filled 
with  crystal  water,  and  a  dish  heaped  with  biscuit. 
The  elders  gathered  around  the  desk,  raised  their 
hands,  and  in  turn  prayed  that  mutual  love  might 
hallow  all  that  were  to  partake  of  that  mystic  love- 
feast  banquet ;  that  as  they  received  it,  their  spiritual 
bodies  might  be  nourished  in  preparation  for  the  time 
when  they  should  be  dissociated  from  the  flesh,  thus 


134     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

rehearsing  the  throne-banquets  of  the  angels  in  the 
kingdom  of  the  heavens;  last  but  not  least,  that  all 
who  should  join  in  the  common  function  should  dis- 
miss all  animosities  against  every  other  person,  implore 
forgiveness  for  their  transgressions,  and  receive  this 
heavenly  food  as  a  symbol  of  liberty,  equality  and 
fraternity,  asking  divine  guidance  in  the  voting  that 
was  to  follow. 

Using  a  number  of  tiny  sanitary  glasses  on  trays,  so 
prepared  as  to  avoid  all  confusion  and  delay,  every 
section  received  its  quota  of  biscuit  covered  glasses, 
brought  by  white  garbed  maidens.  The  whole  assem- 
blage stood,  repeated  the  prayer  for  democracy,  and 
held  up  the  biscuits  and  glasses  while  the  elders  uttered 
an  invocation ;  then  at  once  all  partook,  and  joined  in 
a  hymn. 

This  closed  the  services'  third  or  religious  part, 
which  led  up  to  the  political.  In  each  seat  were  ballots 
for  the  election  of  officers,  among  which  every  month, 
was  one  of  the  twelve  elders,  so  that  in  one  year  there 
was  always  a  new  college  of  elders.  This  rotation  was 
not  only  efficient  in  hindering  all  petrification,  but  it 
was  a  valuable  means  of  spreading  general  education ; 
the  ex-elders  formed  the  local  College  of  Sages.  At 
this  meeting  my  host  was  elected  elder  of  history. 

In  these  days,  all  elections  were  not  massed  on  one 
day  of  the  year;  every  week  there  occurred  the  elec- 
tion of  some  one  officer.  The  old  method  of  electing 
all  officers  at  once  on  one  day  of  the  year  had  many 
disadvantages.  To  begin  with,  the  excitement  incident 
to  a  hysterically  spectacular  campaign  not  only  dis- 
turbed business,  but  vitiated  its  own  object :  it  divorced 
the  conduct  of  the  office  from  ante-election  promises. 
The  elected  candidate  forgot  his  responsibility  to  his 
constituents,  looking  on  his  office  as  a  personal  asset ; 
while  the  constituent  forgot  his  civic  duties  of  control- 
ling the   conduct   of  those   for  whom   he   had   voted. 


LOCAL  WEEKLY  WARD-MEETING       135 

Weekly  elections  kept  alive  responsibility  and  duty. 
When  enforced,  the  laws  of  initiative,  referendum  and 
recall  did  not  present  their  anticipated  disadvantages. 
Political  responsibility  having  been  transformed  from 
a  temporary  orgy  into  a  weekly  consideration  there 
were  no  longer  either  occasions  or  need  of  recall  of 
public  officials.  The  mere  threat  of  recall  was  sufficient 
to  insure  faithfulness  in  public  duty. 

The  latter  also  had  ceased  to  be  a  sinecure.  The 
business-like  nature  of  these  three  laws  had  entirely 
reclaimed  politics,  turning  them  into  a  public  trust, 
accepted  only  by  the  most  unselfish.  Moreover,  offices 
were  no  longer  exceptional ;  every  one  had  to  exercise 
some  public  duty  as  qualification   for  voting. 

The  voting-system  was  similar  to  the  ancient  Belgian 
plural  voting.  Everybody  had  one  vote,  so  that  none 
could  complain  of  exclusion  from  the  franchise.  Addi- 
tional votes  could  be  earned;  one  for  marriage;  one 
for  the  higher  efficiency  rating;  and  one  for  some 
notable  achievement  in  any  field  of  endeavor.  This 
drew  the  balance  of  power  in  the  hands  of  those  who 
had  earned  it ;  and  as  a  matter  of  fact  it  was  so  efficient 
an  incentive  for  achievement  that  any  one  holding  one 
vote  only  would  have  been  scorned. 

Public  office  no  longer  bore  a  salary,  and  it  was 
chiefly  a  compliment,  the  performance  of  whose  duties 
was  accepted  under  duress,  rather  than  solicited.  It 
was  therefore  accepted  generally  only  by  the  older 
retired  persons,  who  lived  on  a  pension.  This  supplied 
old  age  with  a  useful  avocation,  and  realized  Plato's 
ideal  of  centering  public  activities  in  the  hands  of  the 
most,  rather  than  of  the  least  experienced.  Besides 
the  aged  enjoyed  pensions  and  were  no  longer  moved 
by  interested  motives,  such  as  to  exploit  their  person- 
ality, or  to  amass  a  fortune,  or  to  "run  for  president." 
Should  they  ever  have  crossed  the  line  of  fossilization, 
the  weekly  recall  removed  them  not  only  after  some 


136     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

aggravated  case  of  reactionarism,  but  at  the  very 
beginning  of  such  a  tendency.  Comical  to  me  seemed 
the  evident  rehef  at  being  recalled,  where  in  my  days 
it  would  have  aroused  regret. 

Public  office  was  no  longer  sought,  but  in  so  far  as 
possible,  evaded.  As  in  the  early  Christian  church, 
where  the  election  to  a  bishopric  sometimes  had  to 
be  conducted  by  force,  because  that  honor  was  equiv- 
alent to  impending  mart}Tdom,  so  now  it  was  neces- 
sary to  appeal  to  the  nominee's  sense  of  public  duty. 

Of  course,  all  honorary  offices  such  as  mayor,  alder- 
man and  sheriff  had  been  abolished.  Already  in  my 
day  the  "commission  form  of  government"  had  intro- 
duced into  the  municipal  government  business  effi- 
ciency, divorcing  it  from  party  politics,  prejudice,  and 
national  issues.  In  my  day  that  had  already  occurred 
in  Cambridge,  Massachusetts.  These  were  the  only 
conditions  under  which  the  very  best  men  could  be 
induced  to  serve. 

The  only  spring  of  political  activity  on  which  such 
unselfish  political  service  could  count  was  of  course 
a  religion  of  democracy.  Even  in  my  days  such  a 
manifestation  had  been  seen  m  the  rejuvenation  of  the 
French  people.  At  peace,  the  Frenchman  had  not  cared 
enough  for  the  future  of  his  race  to  provide  offspring; 
and  there  was  no  governmental  ministry  strong 
enough  to  arouse  the  flighty  parliament  to  protect 
itself  against  autocracy's  public  preparations  for  world- 
domination.  The  trouble  was  that  democracy  was  con- 
sidered an  impersonal  constitution  instead  of  a  per- 
sonal religion.  Nor  would  the  war  have  been  won 
without  my  own  country's  electing  to  the  Presidency 
a  gentleman  who,  unlike  some  of  his  predecessors,  was 
no  log-rolling  politician  under  bondage  to  some  party 
"boss,"  no  mendacious  and  treacherous  braggart,  no 
legal  ninny,  and  no  drunkard.  Only  the  zeal  of  a  per- 
sonal   rehgion    could    have    fused    the    governmental 


LOCAL  WEEKLY  WARD-MEETING       137 

theories  of  revolutionaries,  Swiss,  French  or  American, 
into  one  inspired  body. 

In  my  own  youth  it  was  fashionable  to  declaim  there 
would  never  again  be  another  war;  a  temple  of  peace 
was  built  by  an  intimate  of  the  German  emperor,  who 
since  his  youth  had  drunk  toasts  to  Armageddon.  So 
fast  asleep  were  the  most  estimable  members  of  the 
community  that  the  socialists,  whose  vision  of  the 
future  state  was  the  most  correct,  at  the  beginning  of 
the  world-war  for  the  establishment  of  their  own 
theories,  advocated  submission  to  German  autocracy, 
and  had  to  be  arrested  as  traitors  to  the  democracy 
that  was  fighting  to  establish  their  own  views.  Noth- 
ing but  German  cruelty  sufficed  to  awake  England  to 
self-defence.  So  many  centuries  had  England  enjoyed 
peace  that  patriotism  had  become  tabooed  as  hysteric ; 
and  only  a  very  few  years  before  the  world-war  had 
it  become  legal  to  hoist  the  national  flag  over  school- 
houses  in  that  country. 

It  was  reported  in  the  papers  that  the  then  foremost 
soldier  of  England,  Kitchener,  when  implored  to  send 
to  the  fighting  line  explosive  shells  to  meet  those  of 
the  Germans,  refused  to  do  so  on  the  plea  that 
shrapnel  had  been  good  enough  for  him  in  China,  in 
Egypt,  and  in  South  Africa !  Even  America  had  to 
wait  over  a  year,  because  of  its  large  German  interests 
and  constituency.  Grim  humor  was  there  in  that  sleep 
of  inherited  peace ! 

It  was  the  blessed  result  of  that  worl3-war  for  the 
first  time  to  make  democracy  self-conscious,  to  supply 
it  with  the  fervor  of  religious  inspiration,  before  which 
all  sects  and  religions  crumbled  away  into  shams. 
Consider  the  absurdity  of  the  religious  alignment  in 
that  war.  On  the  side  of  German  autocracy  were 
Prussian  Lutheranism,  allied  with  Austrian  Romanism, 
Bulgarian  Greek  Catholicism  and  Turkish  Mohammed- 
anism.   Opposed  to  this  motley  aggregation  was  Eng- 


138     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

lish  Anglicanism,  French  Nationalism,  Italian  Nation- 
alism and  Romanism,  American  Protestantism,  and 
Japanese  Shintoism.    A  very  "twilight  of  the  gods!" 

Out  of  the  ashes  of  these  as  a  phcenix,  rose  the 
religion  of  democracy,  living  and  self-defensive,  no 
mere  inherited,  traditional,  hypocritical  business 
method.  In  the  modern  state  therefore  this  religion 
of  internal  patriotism  is  not  divorced  from  an  army. 
Personal  pugnacity  is  an  immortal  trait  of  human 
nature;  and  even  during  the  pretended  peaceful 
democracies  of  my  youth  not  only  was  there  need  of 
police  to  enforce  public  order,  but  pugilism  was  still 
a  fine  art.  Indeed  there  were  countries  like  Spain 
where  the  "manly  art"  and  athletics  were  unknown ; 
but  the  poniard,  poison  and  bull-fights  represented  the 
struggle  of  life.  In  the  modern  state  peace  is  no  result 
of  degenerate  effeminacy,  but  the  supremacy  of  ideals 
over  a  vigorous,  fighting,  kicking  and  militant  activity, 
such  as  that  of  a  healthy  child.  International  comity, 
therefore,  in  modern  days,  is  the  result  of  a  "League 
to  Enforce  Peace,"  rather  than  that  of  a  comatose 
opiate  degeneracy.  To  keep  the  peace  by  ideals  is 
possible  only  where  these  ideals  are  vivified  and  united 
by  an  overwhelming  religious  inspiration,  not  only 
theoretically  for  the  whole  public,  but  practically  in 
each  individual  life,  without  which  any  governmental 
theory  must  inevitably  through  dogmatism  wilt  into 
hypocrisy. 

From  these  meditations  I  was  roused  by  the  end  of 
the  fourth  or  political  part  of  the  meeting,  and  the 
opening  of  the  last,  or  fifth,  dramatic  part.  The 
curtains  were  drawn  back  for  a  one-act  play  or  mystic 
representation,  which  closed  the  meeting  with  pleasure, 
as  well  as  profit. 

The  playlet,  this  morning,  was  a  translation  of 
d'Hervilly's  "Sayonara,"  often  presented  as  a  curtain 
raiser  at  the  Comedie  Frangaise,  a  delicious  Japanese 


LOCAL  WEEKLY  WARD-MEETING       139 

pastel,  in  which  honor  is  glorified  above  wealth,  power, 
and  even  love.  A  century  ago  I  had  both  seen  it,  and 
even  translated  it  into  English,  and  here  I  was  to  find 
it  immortal,  because  of  its  sheer  beauty  and  inspiration, 
long  after  the  oblivion  of  its  author  and  translator. 
After  all,  "art  for  art's  sake"  is  a  miserable  prevarica- 
tion for  the  obscene,  while  the  works  of  inspiration 
survive  the  centuries,  so  long  as  the  human  soul  is 
headed  heavenward. 

Lilac  took  part  in  it,  taking  the  title-part.  I  must 
confess  that  the  evident  popular  admiration  she  aroused 
glorified  her  in  my  sight,  making  my  attitude  con- 
siderably humbler  towards  her  when  she  later  reap- 
peared ;  but  her  frank  friendHness  drew  tears  to  my 
eyes,  and  a  warmth  to  my  heart;  not  without  a  pang 
or  two  of  ...  .  jealousy !  There,  I  have  relieved 
myself;  a  confession  is  good  for  the  soul! 

At  the  close  the  audience  rose  and  sang  a  national 
anthem,  when  one  of  the  elders,  the  oldest  in  office, 
who  that  day  was  retiring,  uttered  a  benediction.  The 
gathering  broke  up  in  a  loud  buzz  of  conversation, 
friend  shook  hands  with  friend,  and  all  agreed  that 
the  occasion  had  been  as  profitable  as  it  had  been 
pleasant. 


CHAPTER  XV 
WHY  CHRISTIANITY  (SURVIVES 

The  emotions  aroused  by  this  tremendous  function 
were  almost  excessive;  so  that  in  the  afternoon  I  was 
compelled  to  rest  on  a  couch,  on  our  own  roof,  while 
a  telephonic  connection  furnished  me  with  soothing 
strains.  The  usual  electric  warnings  roused  me  in  time 
to  share  in  the  angelus  sunset-service.  After  the  eve- 
ning meal  Lilac  and  I  sat  down  where  we  could  see 
the  flaming  sky,  and  we  shared  the  sacredness  of  the 
evening  hush.  Neither  of  us  felt  inclined  to  talk  of 
trivial  matters,  for  both  of  us  were  still  thrilling  to 
the  vital  solemnity  of  that  ward-meeting,  in  which  no 
human  interest  was  neglected. 

"Was  it  not  perfect?"  she  finally  asked,  seeking 
sympathy. 

"Beyond  description ;  yet  I  find  several  problems 
difficult  to  resolve.    May  I  talk  them  over  with  you?" 

Lilac's  mobile  features,  for  a  moment  clouded  at 
the  mere  mention  of  problems,  were  illumined  with 
interest,  as  when  the  sun's  rays  "draw  water"  through 
a  rift  in  the  dark  clouds.  "With  pleasure,"  she  smiled 
radiantly. 

"My  difficulties  are  three  :  the  time-clock,  compulsory 

salvation,  and  the  reunion  of  church  and  state.    Let  us 

begin  with  the  time-clock.     It'  seems  a  degradation,  a 

desecration  of  holy  things." 

140 


WHY  CHRISTIANITY  SURVIVES        141 

"I  agree  with  you.  But  in  your  time-clock-less  days, 
was  the  church  service  attended  promptly  and  reg- 
ularly?" 

"Certainly  not,  on  the  whole," 

"Well,  if  you  had  to  choose  between  efficient  busi- 
ness methods,  even  though  prosaic,  and  inefficient 
brilliance,  which  would  you  choose?" 

"The  former;  but  what  a  pity  that  we  cannot  have 
both !" 

"We  do,  in  a  certain  measure ;  for  after  you  get 
accustomed  to  it,  its  value  more  than  compensates  for 
its  seriousness.  Perhaps  you  have  never  realized  the 
gravity  of  worship.  The  problem  is  not  factitious,  but 
founded  on  a  genuine  psychological  difficulty,  namely, 
evasion ;  which  is  the  cardinal  fallacy  of  life,  the  main 
stumbling-stone  of  democracy,  the  supreme  delusion." 

"Do  you  mean  the  discovery  of  the  nineteenth  cen- 
tury, that  corporations  have  no  soul,  and  that  it  is 
therefore  perfectly  permissible  for  otherwise  respect- 
able and  conscientious  individuals  to  band  together 
and  under  corporate  title  to  lie,  steal,  commit  perjury?" 

"I  mean  its  converse.  As  conscience  is  essentially 
an  individual  phenomenon,  a  crowd  possesses  none. 
Consequently  the  only  honor-system  possible  to  a 
crowd  or  nation  is  the  definiteness  of  a  time-clock 
punch.  We  have  indeed  attempted  to  remedy  this 
state  of  affairs  by  teaching  in  the  schools  a  modifica- 
tion of  the  old  proverb,  'All  for  one,  and  one  for  all;' 
namely,  'All  is  one,  and  one  is  all,'  to  correct  the 
entirely  natural  delusion  that  any  man  can  cheat  the 
state  without  harm ;  that,  being  impersonal,  the  state 
cannot  be  sinned  against;  and  that  there  is  no  harm 
in  taking  advantage  of  the  community.   Do  you  agree  ?" 

"So  well  am  I  converted,  that  I  will  relate  to  you  a 
story  I  once  picked  up  in  my  youth,  though  I  have 
never  been  able  to  authenticate  it,  which  illustrates 
your  point  inimitably.     When  Caesar  had  finally  con- 


142      A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

quered  Gaul,  the  Gallic  chiefs  decided  to  demonstrate 
their  loyalty  to  the  Romans  by  a  great  celebration, 
whose  culmination  was  to  be  the  presentation  to  Caesar 
of  a  great  tun  of  wine.  On  the  eve  of  this  event,  the 
pilgrim  Gauls  arrived  hot,  tired,  and  ....  thirsty! 
During  the  night,  one  of  the  most  Sahara-parched 
chiefs  was  visited  by  a  brilliant  idea.  'Should  I,  un- 
noticed, reach  the  tun,  draw  from  it  a  hornful  of  wine, 
and  for  it  substitute  a  hornful  of  water,  nobody  will 
be  the  wiser,  and  I  will  be  relieved.'  No  sooner  thought, 
than  done.  But  alas,  he  was  not  as  original  as  he 
supposed.  The  same  cherubic  thought  visited  his 
neighbor,  and  later  became  contagious,  though  each 
arid  Gallic  chief  imagined  he  had  a  copyright  on  it. 
So  in  the  morning,  when,  to  the  braying  of  trumpets, 
and  to  the  crashing  of  spears  on  the  shields,  there  was 
held  a  tear-drawing  oration  celebrating  the  Gallic 
devotion  to  Caesar,  it  was  emphasized  by  the  offering 
of  a  hornful  of  the  contents  of  the  cask,  which,  alas, 
to  the  heaven-resounding  shouts  of  derision  of  the 
Roman  legions,  turned  out  to  be  mere  muddy  water!" 

"Good !"  laughed  Lilac.  "Now  what  about  your 
opposition  to  compulsory  salvation?" 

"In  our  day  the  state  was  held  to  have  no  right  to 
interfere  with  personal  morals.  People  were  allowed 
to  become  intoxicated ;  brewers  advertised  their  bus- 
iness under  the  plea  for  personal  liberty." 

"Do  you  mean  that  you  claimed  the  right  to  damna- 
tion f" 

"Well,  we  would  have  hesitated  to  put  it  so  baldly; 
but  I  suppose  that  is  to  what  it  amounted." 

"That  is  where  we  differ.  One  of  our  proverbs  reads, 
'none  is  alone,  all  are  together.'  We  believe  that 
salvation  is  not  only  individual,  but  social;  that  the 
door  of  heaven  does  not  open  to  him  who  comes  alone. 
The  damnation  of  any  one  is  the  misfortune  of  all,  a 
delay  of  the  kingdom  of  heaven's  establishment,  when 


WHY  CHRISTIANITY  SURVIVES        143 

the  devil  himself  must  be  converted.  We  do  not  think 
that  liberty  means  permission  to  inefficiency,  immoral- 
ity, lukewarmness,  or  ignorance.  Did  your  century  not 
make  education  compulsory?" 

"Certainly." 

"Why  then  not  salvation  also?" 

"I  see.  This  will  imply  compulsory  church  attend- 
ance. But  though  you  can  lead  a  horse  to  water,  you 
cannot  make  him  drink.  You  cannot  compel  immor- 
tality." 

"Unfortunately;  but  our  responsibility  ends  there." 

"I  see  that  we  have  unintentionally  led  up  to  my 
third  difficulty,  the  union  of  church  and  state.  It  was 
one  of  the  proudest  boasts  of  our  day  that  we  had 
separated  them." 

"Hold  on !  You  made  a  mistake !  We  have  no  desire 
for  the  union  of  church  and  state!  We  practice  the 
union  of  state  and  religion !" 

"I  see  the  distinction.  For  mere  church  attendance 
does  not  immunize  from  crime,  as  was  proved  by  an 
angelic  choir-boy  of  a  venerable  church  who  later  was 
clapped  into  jail  forty-six  times !  We  were  conscious 
that  our  democracy  was  not  perfect,  but  we  did  not 
know  exactly  what  to  do." 

"Let  us  see  if  we  cannot  get  to  it.  What  was  your 
democracy's  chief  weakness?" 

"Dishonesty  of  the  office-holders;  alas,  in  great 
contrast  to  the  honesty  of  the  municipal  governments 
of  the  kingdoms  and  empires  of  Europe.  Yet  we 
believed  in  democracy,  and  would  not  have  been  willing 
to  barter  our  problems  for  a  return  to  a  monarchic 
form  of  government." 

"What  element  was  involved  in  the  monarchic  gov- 
ernments which  might  have  tended  to  produce  this 
honesty?" 

"Perhaps  a  semi-religious  sanction,  coupled  with 
the  feeling  that  there  was  somebody  above  them  whose 


144     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

interest  it  was  to  supervise  them,  and  that  their  inter- 
ests were  not  so  much  theirs,  as  some  one  else's." 

"Did  any  of  your  democracies  make  any  effort  to 
supply   this   lacking   element?" 

"The  newspapers  probably  did  something  towards 
this  supervision.  Then  there  arose  religious  bodies 
called  'social  service  commissions,'  which,  however, 
like  the  Socialists,  blundered  in  trying  to  convert  the 
already  open-minded  churches,  instead  of  applying 
religious  pressure  on  the  unchurched  sociaHsts,  who 
needed  it.  In  war-times,  patriotism  supplied  a  slightly 
higher  motive ;  but  still  there  was  no  efficient  or  per- 
manent or  perpetuating  organization  to  supply  such  a 
religious  sanction.  Only  in  isolated  cases  were  there 
any  office-holders  who  could  afford  to  consider  any- 
thing but  their  own  immediate  interests.  An  English 
philosopher's  attempt  to  create  an  honest  state  by 
adjusting,  and  balancing  against  each  other  the  inter- 
ests of  rascals  was  of  course  an  absurdity;  it  ignored 
the  unexpected  urgencies  of  life,  which  put  successful 
governmental  honesty  out  of  the  question  without  the 
independent  honesty  of  every  component  element. 
But  how  could  that  be  secured?" 

"That  was  the  very  secret  of  your  failure;  you  did 
not  seem  to  understand  that  democracy  was  not  so 
much  a  form  of  government  as  a  personal  religion, 
enlisting  the  individual  consciences,  not  only  of  the 
office-holders,  but  also  of  every  voter,  and  governee. 
Did  nobody  in  your  day  see  so  far?" 

"Comte,  the  French  positivist  philosopher,  did  teach 
a  religion  of  humanity;  but  that  was  only  a  vague 
abstraction  without  practical  political  application,  and 
loaded  down  with  suggestions  of  rites  that  could  easily 
be  ridiculed,  and  lead  to  scandal.  In  the  United  States 
the  moving  spring  of  social  uplift  movements  was  no 
more  than  a  vapid  philanthropic  enthusiasm,  quite 
incapable  of  directing  social  and  personal  action." 


WHY  CHRISTIANITY  SURVIVES        145 

Lilac  summarized :  "I  see  that  you  have  understood 
our  modern  attitude,  the  vision  that  has  vitalized 
world-wide  democratic  government,  that  loyalty  is  a 
personal  religion ;  nay,  the  chief  and  exclusive  religion. 
In  such  a  state^  religion  is  as  compulsory  as,  nay,  more 
compulsory  than  education.  Thus  only  can  democracy 
be  made  safe  for  the  world;  without  the  religion  of 
loyalty^  no  world  could  ever  be,  or  remain  safe  for 
democracy.  In  other  words,  the  benefits  of  democracy 
cannot  be  enjoyed  without  the  personal  interest  of 
every  constituent  member;  and  that  is  not  so  much 
a  privilege,  as  a  duty,  which  if  necessary  must  be 
enforced." 

We  were  all  talked  out,  and  glad  of  lunch,  after 
which  a  siesta,  medically  recommended,  and  therefore 
adopted  all  over  the  world,  was  exceedingly  grateful. 
It  was  still  storming  when  I  awoke,  and  there  was 
nothing  to  do  but  to  go  to  the  assembly-room,  and 
listen  to  a  telephonic  concert.  After  a  while  Lilac 
joined  me  again,  and  for  some  time  we  shared  the 
sensuous  enjoyment  of  the  modern  masters.  The 
silence  was  interrupted  by  Lilac,  whose  gleaming 
features  had  been  irradiated  by  a  faint  flush,  as  the 
mirror  of  a  pond  is  ruffled  by  a  vagrant  breeze.  Gently 
she  said  she  thought  I  was  not  playing  fair  with  her. 
This  morning  I  had  said  I  was  agitated  by  three  prob- 
lems only,  and  she  had  resolved  them  for  me ;  and  here 
I  was  still  moping  disconsolately. 

I  replied  that  I  feared  my  malady  was  incurable. 
Inspiring  as  had  been  the  meeting,  it  had  only  more 
poignantly  reawakened  in  me  the  "lieimweh"  for  the 
solace  of  the  religious  services  of  my  early  days,  just 
as  even  an  old  man  still  pines  for  the  prayers  learned 
at  his  mother's  knee. 

Joyfully  she  dispelled  m}^  gloom.  It  seemed  that  the 
Christian  mysteries  were  still  celebrated,  and  that  if 
I  so  desired,  we  might  shortly  attend  them. 


146     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

With  trepidation  I  inquired  whether  she  herself  was 
a  Christian.  She  said  not,  but  that  she  had  ahvays 
desired  a  personal  introduction  thereto,  having  been 
favorably  impressed  through  her  Christian  friend  Iris. 

I  wondered  how  it  had  happened  that  Christianity, 
in  my  days  so  prevalent  and  self-assertive*  had  appar- 
ently dropped  into  the  back-ground,  returning  to  its 
original  unworldliness. 

"Perhaps  you  know  more  about  it  than  I  do,"  an- 
swered she,  "but  I  have  heard  people  wiser  than  I  state 
that  its  misfortunes  proved  its  blessings.  With  the 
political  establishment  of  the  religion  of  humanity, 
which  is  the  soul  of  the  corporate  body  of  democracy, 
all  other  religious  bodies  became  voluntary  organiza- 
tions, practised  without  hindrance  by  the  state,  so  long 
as  they  limited  themselves  to  their  sphere  of  personal 
salvation,  and  did  not  interfere  politically ;  although  in 
localities  where  its  adherents  constitute  a  majority,  its 
influence  was  of  course  noticeable  in  politics." 

"But  why  did  not  Christianity  become  the  religion 
of  world-wide  democracy?  We  had  Christian  religions 
in  the  democracy  of  the  United  States." 

"I  know  you  did;  and  there  is  no  doubt  that  it  can 
be  interpreted  so  as  to  be  possible  for  supporters  of 
liberty.  But  it  is  a  matter  of  record  that  it  was  just 
as  easily  interpreted  in  behalf  of  tyranny  and  slave- 
holding,  as  in  the  Southern  Confederate  States.  It  was 
professed  equally  by  the  torturing  Romanist  Torque- 
mada,  and  the  persecuting  Reformed  witch-burners  of 
Salem.  The  only  object  of  having  a  state  religion 
was  to  enlist  men's  souls  exclusively  in  the  cause  of 
democracy,  in  loyalty  to  liberty.  Nothing  capable  of 
shifting  interpretation  was  adequate  to  inspire 
humanity." 

"What  influence  was  exerted  on  Christianity  itself?" 

"I  have  heard  only  vaguely,  from  a  discussion  in 
which  my  father  once  took  part.     I  believe  that  this 


WHY  CHRISTIANITY  SURVIVES        147 

undoing  of  Constantine's  secularization  effected  at 
once  a  working  reunion  of  its  various  branches ;  which, 
no  longer  hoping  for  ascendancy,  dropped  mutual 
antagonism  just  as  a  family  composes  its  internal  feuds 
when  its  corporate  existence  is  threatened." 

"Do  you  know  any  of  the  details?" 

"No ;  but  I  have  heard  of  the  Romanists,  that  they 
had  to  drop  that  title  which  came  to  be  considered  a 
threat  against  the  parliament  of  man,  and  the  federa- 
tion of  the  world.  The  Unitarians  had  thrown  over- 
board all  the  interior  devotion,  while  the  Quakers  had 
deprived  themselves  of  all  organization,  and  so  dis- 
appeared. The  Presbyterians  themselves  had  been 
compelled  to  elect  superintendents,  and  the  Methodists 
had  found  that  they  had  to  make  their  theoretical  sub- 
stitutional theology  optional,  to  be  admitted  to  the 
elastic  central  body.  The  Baptists  were  compelled  to 
drop  the  opposition  to  sprinkling,  though  allowed  to 
immerse  themselves  to  their  hearts'  content.  The 
resulting  fusion  was  elastic  enough  to  admit  all  schools 
of  thought  high  and  low,  broad  and  deep." 

"That  must  have  been  the  Episcopal  church !" 

"Probably ;  but  I  cannot  tell.  But  the  second  result 
of  disestablishment  on  Christianity  was  almost  more 
important  than  reunion.  As  individual  rich  men  no 
longer  existed,  the  salaries  of  the  ministers  decreased; 
and  in  the  meanwhile  the  minister  had  to  assume  an 
occupation  to  regularize  his  position  in  the  world ; 
whereby  he  was  released  from  dependence  on  the  fancy 
of  his  parishioners.  Most  congregations  find  the  hiring 
of  halls  for  the  conduct  of  the  religious  ceremonies  a 
burden  heavy  enough  to  engage  the  best  efforts  of 
their  financial  abilities. 

"A  third  change  was  a  purification  of  the  congrega- 
tions. Because  Christianity  was  poor,  it  was  abandoned 
by  all  popularity  hunters  or  trouble  breeders  who 
sought    it    only    for   mercenary,    social,    or    emotional 


148     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

reasons.  A  competent  and  suitable  livelihood  now 
being  assured  to  all,  and  all  necessary  charities  being 
federated  by  the  state,  there  were  no  more  "institu- 
tional causes"  to  further. 

"A  fourth  change,  said  my  father,  was  the  abandon- 
ment of  the  church  by  invalids,  and  those  afflicted  with 
secret  diseases,  inasmuch  as  all  healing  activities  were 
exercised  by  the  state,  where  healers  used  not  only  all 
necessary  materialistic  healing  means,  but  combined 
with  them  psychical  therapeutics. 

So  no  one  became  a  Christian  unless  he  really 
elected  to  do  so;  and  she  herself,  though  favorably 
disposed,  had  never  become  initiated.  She  had  shared 
the  general  attitude  of  indifference.  "After  all,"  queried 
she,  "what  was  the  purpose  of  church-attendance  in 
your  day?" 

I  smiled  wanly.  "I  fear  those  motives  were  rather 
mixed.  Habit,  social  standing,  amusement,  loneliness, 
matrimonial  possibilities,  social  influence,  desire  for  for- 
giveness of  secret  unconfessed  sins,  and  last,  fear  of 
hell." 

"Could  you  sum  them  up  in  one  word?" 

Regretfully  I  faltered,  "selfishness  of  one  kind  or 
another,  I  fear;  and  all  those  needs  are  now  more 
efficiently  served  by  the  state." 

"Then  you  agree  that  there  is  no  sufficient  reason 
for  the   survival  of  Christianity?" 

My  whole  soul  flared  at  this.  "Certainly  not.  The 
motives  of  religious  worship  which  I  have  just  men- 
tioned were  only  the  most  external,  adventitious,  and 
meretricious.  They  appealed  to  the  crowds,  and  per- 
haps their  removal  from  the  breasts  of  the  general 
people  was  a  great  blessing  to  Christianity.  I  yet  have 
to  mention  the  twelve  eternal  needs  of  the  soul,  and 
the  unique  missionary  truth  of  Christianity.  In  other 
words,  I  must  explain  why  we  cannot  get  along  without 
God,  and  second,  without  his  Christ." 


-WHY  CHRISTIANITY  SURVIVES        149 

"First,  there  is  preparation  for  death.  You  modern 
people  still  have  to  reckon  with  that,  have  you  not?" 

''Certainly;  but  to  us  young-  people   .    .    .*' 

"That  is  the  very  point  at  issue,"  interrupted  I. 
"Only  people  of  more  advanced  age  realize  the  neces- 
sity of  preparing  for  the  supreme  transition.  Still  even 
with  any  modern  prevention  of  accidents,  of  occupa- 
tional evils,  and  disease,  even  the  young  must  be  in 
danger  of  frequent  occurrence  of  being  ushered  into 
another  existence;  do  they  not?" 

"Certainly,"  assented  she.  "That  is  indeed  one  of 
the  reasons  why  I  have  always  vaguely  intended  to 
acquaint  myself  with  the  religious  life.  In  modern 
times  the  scientific  evidence  for  a  future  life  has  so 
accumulated,  —  its  real  basis  was  laid  at  the  time  of 
the  great  world-war  for  democracy,  —  that  everybody 
is  certain  he  must  face  its  problems,  and  is  interested 
in  that  subject.  Indeed,  it  is  taught  in  the  schools, 
and  in  the  universities  that  has  become  one  of  the  chief 
topics  of  research,  along  with  sleep,  and  the  communi- 
cation with  the  moon,  Mars,  and  other  planets." 

"Have  the  modern  investigators  come  to  any  definite 
results?"  queried  I  breathlessly. 

"That  is  the  trouble,"  informed  my  modern  friend. 
They  have  certified  that  life  continues  beyond;  they 
have  even  systematically  and  convincingly  gathered 
evidence  of  pre-existence ;  but  they  have  also  ascer- 
tained that  the  powers  ruling  beyond  seem  to  oppose 
the  permanent  lifting  of  the  curtain.  Beyond  the 
assurance  of  the  mere  fact,  we  remain  at  a  loss.  They 
seem  to  be  in  as  great  doubt  as  we  are,  and  we  at  least 
have  scientific  research  to  keep  us  straight;  we  think 
that  the  law  obtaining  after  death  can  be  investigated 
better  during  this  existence,  by  careful  observation  of 
the  experiences  met  with  during  the  attempt  at  a  better 
life.  Then,"  concluded  I,  "you  will  always,  in  spite  of 
making  your  present  life  comfortable  and  attractive, 


150      A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

need  religion  to  express  the  totality  or  ultimate  signifi- 
cance of  unseen  existence  in  parables  or  symbols.  Do 
you  not  think  so?" 

"I  see  this  now,  and  regret  my  former  severity  of 
expression  about  figurative  language.  What  second 
reason  do  you  have  for  a  permanent  need  of  God?" 

"Second,  there  must  still  be  sickness  unreachable  by 
medical  means. 

"Third,  the  getting  of  the  experience  of  forgiveness, 
which  comes  most  readily  after  'talking  it  out'  with 
friend,  adviser,  or  conscience.  This  used  to  be  called 
auricular  confession,  to  a  priest,  and  led  to  many  grave 
abuses ;  but  there  was  a  truth  beneath  it,  however. 

"Fourth,  there  is  the  achievement  of  clear  hearing 
of  conscience ;  not  merely  as  an  occasional  monitor, 
but  as  a  continuous  adviser ;  what  Socrates  meant  when 
he  spoke  of  his  familiar  divinity,  or  genius.  It  is  the 
Voice  between  the  ears,'  the  'inner  self.' 

"Fifth,  this  voice  acts  as  consoler,  seeming  to  care 
more  for  our  continuance  of  life  and  fruitfulness,  than 
we  ourselves.  Another  function  of  this  voice  is  guid- 
ance or  leading.  Together,  they  form  the  Good  Shep- 
herd, whose  sheep  hear  his  voice. 

"Sixth,  we  have  the  overcoming  of  both  minor  and 
major  bad  habits,  or  weaknesses,  including  fear. 

"Seventh,  the  worst  habit  of  all,  intemperance  of 
tongue,  whose  control  is  the  spirit's  choicest  gift. 

"Eighth,  permissible  influence  over  the  conduct  of 
others,  by  prayer. 

"Ninth,  prayer  for  inspiration,  invention,  discovery, 
retrievement,  or  achievement, 

"Tenth,  prayer  for  reunion,  companionship,  friend- 
ship, mutuality,  and  sacraments  of  communion. 

"Eleventh,  the  influence  of  assemblage,  ritual,  good 
resolutions,  fresh  vows,  and  courage. 

"Twelfth,  revelation  and  vision,  and  what  we  used 
to  call  the  'gifts  of  the  spirit.' 


WHY  CHRISTIANITY  SURVIVES        151 

"Of  these  twelve  human  needs  of  God,  some  of 
them  may  decrease,  but  can  any  of  them  entirely  die 
out?" 

"I  agree  with  you  that  these  human  needs  will 
compel  the  survival  of  some  form  of  practical  religion, 
which  will  be  mystic,  or  secret,  because  limited  to 
people  capable  of  experiencing  or  realizing  such  needs." 

I  continued : 

"How  blind  was  Bellamy,  in  whose  'Looking  Back- 
ward' perfected  religion  consisted  of  no  more  than  a 
tiresome  social  disquisition,  and  a  few  hymns  of  a 
paid  choir,  all  of  which  could  be  listened  to  over  the 
telephone !  For  a  real  operation  of  the  Holy  Spirit, 
for  moving  influence  from  the  unseen,  there  has  to  be 
a  gathering  of  men,  to  receive  the  torrents  of  interior 
light,  at  the  celebration  of  any  genuine  sacrament. 
Such  an  experience  would  be  impossible  even  by  tel- 
autographic  reproduction,  however  delicate  these  in- 
struments might  be.  The  influence  of  a  meeting  is 
that  the  subconscious  selves  exchange  impressions 
below  the  threshold  of  consciousness;  that  is  the 
reality  —  the  least,  perhaps,  but  still  the  constituent ' 
one,  under  the  statement  that  wherever  two  or  three 
are  gathered  in  one  place,  there  am  I  in  the  midst 
of  them." 

"But  now  tell  me  what  you  mean  of  a  need  of 
Christ?"  urged  Lilac. 

"I  mean  that  religions  have  confined  themselves  to 
righteousness,  without  insisting  on  self-sacrifice,  or 
missionary  zeal  to  redeem  and  save.  Let  me  illustrate. 
I  knew  a  man  who  said  he  so  firmly  believed  in  judg- 
ment that  if  he  saw  his  brother  unconsciously  wander- 
ing on  the  edge  of  an  abyss,  yet  so  that  he  could  be 
saved  by  extending  a  finger,  this  man  would  not 
extend  it,  for  fear  of  interfering  with  his  brother's 
destiny.  On  the  other  hand,  it  is  a  physician's  duty 
to  save;  and  it  is  recognized  that  frequently  if  a  man 


152     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

can  be  tided  over  some  crisis,  he  is  good  for  another 
fifteen  years.  On  the  former  side  are  racial  rehgions, 
hke  Confucianism,  Hebraism,  and  even  Buddhism,  with 
its  'compassionateness;'  on  the  latter  is  Christianity, 
the  religion  of  mission,  of  redemption,  of  salvation." 

"Then  I  also  would  be  a  Christian!"  cried  she,  with 
gleaming  eyes. 

"Do  not  say,  T  would  be,'  but  rather,  T  am,'  for 
you  certainly  have  rescued  me,  like  a  lame  dog,  and 
helped  me  over  a  stile." 

Her  eyes  thanked  me,  and  she  said,  "If  you  are 
willing,  we  shall  combine  your  visit  to  the  modern 
form  of  Christianity  with  a  genuine  enquiry  on  my 
part;  so  you  will  be  compelled  to  exhibit  to  me  its 
best  side,  in  the  best  way."  xA.nd  she  smiled  through 
a  mist  of  tears. 

"Perhaps  I  myself  may  be  re-converted,"  responded 
I.  "I  never  was  present  at  a  ceremony  of  confirmation 
without  renewing  my  vows  of  fealty  to  my  Better  Self ; 
and  I  would  not  be  willing  for  any  less  of  a  miracle 
on  this  occasion." 

"Very  well,"  said  she  determinedly,  "  we  shall  be 
comrades  in  this  exploration." 

The  vibrant  pathos  of  her  voice  betrayed  more  than 
she  said ;  and  I  too  must  have  flushed  as  across  my 
mind  flitted  memories  of  my  compact  with  Orchid. 
Here  I  was  on  the  verge  of  a  second  one,  which  I 
neither  could,  nor  wished  to  evade.  I  justified  myself 
by  the  right  to  more  than  one  friend,  and  that  Orchid 
herself  had  volunteered  doubts  as  to  the  future  of  my 
maiden  friendship  in  this  modern  world ;  and  if  she 
committed  our  intimacy's  future  to  Providence,  I,  in- 
experienced in  the  modern  dispensation,  could  do  no 
less.  So,  as  a  form  of  divine  protection,  —  and  a  very 
charming  form,  be  it  said,  —  I  offered  and  loyally 
accepted  a  personal  comradeship  with  this  lovely  being. 

"Lilac,"  pleaded  I,  rushing  in  where  angels  would 


WHY  CHRISTIANITY  SURVIVES        153 

have  feared  to  tread,  "I  will  accept  thy  sweet  ministra- 
tions only  if  thou  wilt  admit  me  to  the  sanctuary  of 
thy  friendship ;  and  here  I  claim  its  pledge !" 

A  flash  of  pleased  surprise  illuminated  her  features. 
There  was  no  trace  of  the  repulsion  I  dreaded  when 
I  captured  her  hand,  and  kissed  it  reverently ;  and  with 
no  condescension,  but  genuine  regard,  she  reciprocated 
the  token  of  personal  understanding. 


CHAPTER  XVI 
CHRISTIAN  SERVICE 

Next  afternoon  we  slipped  on  our  out-door  gar- 
ments, and  went  to  the  front  of  the  house,  where  Lilac 
opened  a  small  iron  gate,  which  revealed  a  closet- 
garage  for  the  amphibious  motor  tricycle.  She  turned 
a  faucet,  which  released  what  alcohol  was  needed 
through  a  small  rubber  tube,  I  pulled  out  the  carlet, 
and  in  a  few  moments  we  were  on  our  way  to  Iris's 
suburban  home.  She  was  to  act  as  our  sponsor  in  gain- 
ing admission  to  the  Christian  congregation  that  met 
not  far  from  her  home  in  a  grove,  on  the  summit  of 
a  mountain,  whence  could  be  had  a  glorious  view  of 
the  bay. 

When  I  remarked  on  the  strangeness  of  the  service 
being  held  in  a  grove,  my  companion  told  me  that 
this  was  no  indication  of  poverty,  but  a  display  of  good 
taste.  Nature  was  the  ideal  place  to  worship  its  divin- 
ity, far  from  all  worldly  ostentation.  The  sublimest 
utterances  of  the  Lord  were  a  sermon  on  a  mount,  and 
words  uttered  in  a  boat,  by  the  lake-side.  The  parables 
of  the  kingdom,  founded  on  so  many  natural  objects, 
were  here  more  cogent.  The  preachers  could  point 
to  the  trees  and  the  sky  as  symbols  of  what  they 
intended  to  convey.  Of  course,  there  were  city  con- 
gregations, that  met  in  school-rooms,  and  caves;  but 
in  this  glorious  moon-light  the  parks  were  far  prefer- 
able. 

IS4 


CHRISTIAN  SERVICE  155 

This  rejection  of  all  pomp  and  ostentation  reminded 
me  of  what  must  have  been  the  early  apostolic  days  of 
the  church.  I  was  half  prepared  for  the  working  of 
miracles  such  as  are  recorded  in  the  Acts  of  the 
Apostles.  I  could  understand  that  under  such  circum- 
stances the  shadow  of  Peter  passing  by  might  heal  the 
sick  by  the  way-side,  and  the  rushing  of  the  wind 
through  the  trees  speak  the  words  of  the  Lord,  as  erst- 
while to  David. 

Iris  received  us  in  the  most  hearty  manner,  and 
introduced  us.  We  entered  the  grove,  and  found  the 
congregation  preparing  for  the  service,  in  a  spirit  of 
loving  communion. 

First  we  were  presented  to  the  clergyman,  who  was 
not  a  callow  youth  just  turned  out  of  the  seminary, 
with  an  abysmal  ignorance  of  human  nature,  and  in  the 
invincibility  of  liis  ignorance  sublimely  confident  that 
his  fancies  were  a  new  gospel.  Here  was  a  veritable 
father  in  God,  the  retired  sage  who,  receiving  no  salary, 
performed  the  holy  functions  to  save  souls ;  his  own, 
chief  of  all.  Was  it  any  wonder  that  I  later  found  that 
he  could  also  save  others? 

Then  were  made  all  secular  announcements,  and  all 
contributions,  so  as  not  to  disturb  the  later  holy  func- 
tions with  worldly  associations.  An  appeal  was  made 
for  funds  to  a  missionary  to  a  group  of  natives  in 
Liberia,  who  had  requested  Christian  instruction ;  and 
without  ostentation  all  present  contributed  coupons 
from  their  semi-yearly  booklets. 

Then  all  put  on  their  vestments.  In  the  eighteenth 
century,  the  clergyman  alone  vested ;  in  the  nineteenth 
the  choir  also  vested ;  in  the  twenty-first,  all  did  so. 
The  singers  were  of  course  attired  in  flowing  robes  of 
colored  material.  Of  the  congregation  the  most  vigor- 
ous who  took  part  in  the  responses,  and  had  been  con- 
firmed, wore  a  small  mantle  of  the  color  of  the  season; 
while    the    more    passive    and    unconfirmed    members 


156     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

merely  carried  a  candle.  Then  they  all  formed  in  pro- 
cession, lighted  the  candles,  and  raised  a  hymn  that 
was  stirring  and  yet  melancholy.  They  wound  up  a 
path  until  they  came  to  an  open  clearing,  at  the  brow 
of  the  hill,  from  where  could  be  secured  an  open  view 
of  the  bay.  They  all  sat  down  as  they  chose  nearest 
to  their  friends,  or  where  they  could  best  secure  a  view 
of  the  moonlight  silvering  the  waves  of  the  Pacific. 
Then  on  us  all  descended  a  deep  hush,  in  which  each 
could  hear  the  voice  in  his  own  heart. 

I  received  the  greatest  joy  I  could  have  desired. 
Until  that  moment  I  wondered  whether  I  should  reco- 
gnize anything  familiar.  It  was,  however,  the  same 
service  of  my  childhoodj  how  could  it  have  changed 
being  only  an  English  translation  of  the  old  Greek 
liturgies?  As  to  Latin  ritual,  that  of  course  had  died 
out  of  its  own  absurdity;  the  state  had  forbidden 
services  not  understood  of  the  people.  Of  course  I 
feared  some  atrocious  Protestant  vulgarity ;  but  if  I 
had  only  reflected,  I  would  have  remembered  that 
even  in  my  day  the  Presbyterians  v/ere  already  issuing 
a  Prayer  Book  and  the  Methodists  would  naturally  find 
it  easy  to  return  to  their  original  spiritual  home, 
following  the  trend  of  the  times.  The  Episcopal  church 
had  been  the  only  one  broad  enough  to  form  a  common 
standing  ground ;  and  so  the  old  forms  of  my  child- 
hood had  survived  the  changes  of  all  these  epoch- 
making  times. 

Of  the  service  itself,  there  was  little  to  say,  except 
that  it  had  not  changed.  However,  it  was  more  in- 
telligently selected ;  more  to  the  point ;  it  was  not  a 
routine  patch-work  that  left  the  soul  in  a  chaos  of  con- 
flicting emotions.  All  hymns,  psalms,  —  the  minatory 
ones,  I  was  told,  had  been  most  honored  by  obsoles- 
cence, —  canticles  and  lessons,  as  well  as  the  address, 
treated  of  the  same  subject,  so  that,  when  all  was  over, 
the  effect  was  cumulative.     It  seems  that  the  church 


CHRISTIAN  SERVICE  157 

had  appointed  a  special  theme  for  every  week  in  the 
year.  In  my  days,  the  Protestant  sects  had  already 
begun  to  observe  the  major  festivals,  such  as  Christmas 
and  Easter.  The  church  had  already  possessed  a  well- 
defined  church  year;  but  the  Sundays  after  Trinity, 
and  some  other  feasts,  had  been  left  rather  indefinite, 
in  spite  of  collect,  epistle  and  gospel.  This  had  now 
been  more  carefully  planned,  and  the  weekly  themes 
were  definitely  enforced.  The  duty  of  the  clergyman 
was  not  so  much  to  advertise  his  oratorical  gifts,  or 
to  talk  socialism,  sociology,  or  philosophy,  but  to 
enforce  those  yearly  spiritual  lessons  by  affecting  his 
hearers'  hearts;  the  audience  itself  did  not  come  to 
hear  anything  new  (of  which  they  had  more  than 
enough  in  the  compulsory  meeting),  but  to  undergo 
the  special  influence  appointed  for  that  Sunday. 

The  music,  chosen  with  that  therapeutic  object  in 
view,  was  as  democratic  as  everything  else ;  that  is, 
the  whole  congregation  joined  in  the  hymns  and 
chants,  supported  by  a  cornet,  and  folding  reed  organ 
—  which,  by  the  bye,  had  been  much  improved.  The 
music  had  of  course  not  been  left  to  the  fancy  of  the 
choir-leader,  but  had  been  selected  by  the  clergyman, 
who  was  responsible  for  the  emotional  success  of  the 
divine  service. 

Everything  about  the  service  was  short;  no  lesson 
presented  more  than  one  connected  line  of  thought, 
and  was  if  possible  not  over  twelve  verses  in  length; 
but  every  word  was  read  so  clearly  and  deliberately 
that  it  carried  conviction.  There  was  only  one  psalm, 
and  it  was  read  antiphonally,  not  by  verses,  but  by 
half-verses,  so  that  minister  and  congregation  never 
separated.  Hymns  were  given  out  by  verses,  and  not 
wholesale,  and  instructions  were  always  given  how  to 
sing  them.  Between  each  verse,  too,  the  little  organ 
played  strains  so  soft  they  could  hardly  be  heard,  but 
loud  enough  to  raise  the  hearts  to  heaven.     Between 


158     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

each  part  of  the  service  there  were  pauses  of  two  or 
three  minutes,  to  allow  of  interior  worship.  The 
address  itself  was  not  more  than  ten  or  twelve  minutes 
in  length;  but  it  condensed  the  choicest  flowers  of 
thought  and  expression.  After  the  benediction  there 
was  a  silence  so  holy  that  many  swimming  eyes  testi- 
fied to  the  presence  and  operation  of  the  Holy  Spirit. 

From  such  a  service  the  going  home  was  hushed., 
as  by  a  silent  awe ;  we  walked  leisurely  around  the 
beach  in  the  moonlight,  and  very  quietly  Lilac  expressed 
to  me  her  desire  for  baptism  and  confirmation.  I  ex- 
plained to  her  that  it  meant  a  realization  of  citizenship 
in  the  spiritual  unseen  world.  This  she  accepted  unre- 
servedly ;  and  after  explaining  the  words  of  the  service 
that  I  remembered  by  heart  from  long  practice  in 
earlier  days,  I  baptized  her  in  the  waters  of  the  ocean, 
on  which  I  invoked  the  benediction  of  the  Lord. 

We  returned  to  Iris's  house,  and  confided  to  her 
Lilac's  baptism  and  desire  for  confirmation.  Iris 
embraced  her  friend,  and  informed  us  that  that  holy 
rite  was  to  be  administered  in  the  same  forest  sanctuary 
next  Sunday  evening;  and  that,  at  her  house,  the 
minister  would  hold  catechetical  classes  every  evening 
of  the  coming  week,  to  which  without  doubt  he  would 
be  only  too  glad  to  welcome  so  charming  a  cate- 
chumen. As  there  was  nothing  more  to  do  that  night, 
we  partook  of  a  light  refreshment,  and  returned  home 
along  the  moon-enchanted  avenues  in  our  cosy  and 
chummy  tricycle,  humming  over  the  tunes  of  the 
hymns.  When  we  separated,  we  long  held  each  other's 
hand;  as  she  had  insisted  on  receiving  the  sacred  rite 
of  baptism  from  no  hands  other  than  mine,  because  I 
had  been  the  providential  introducer  to  this  charmed 
circle,  so  I  never  felt  more  clearly  the  sacredness  of 
my  functions  than  when  I  accepted  and  consecrated 
the  vows  of  so  amiable  a  companion. 

The  state  of  my  health  rendered  the  daily  afternoon 


CHRISTIAN  SERVICE  159 

trips  to  Iris's  house  very  desirable,  and  they  improved 
my  mental  self-assurance  by  contact  with  conditions 
familiar  to  my  childhood.  The  confirmands  met  under 
the  trees  to  receive  their  final  instructions,  and  I  was 
glad  to  join  them.  While  my  own  status  could  not 
be  ascertained,  because  of  changes  due  to  the  world- 
war,  it  was  decided  to  readmit  me  hypothetically,  as 
the  shortest  and  easiest  method  of  legitimization.  I 
enjoyed  the  modern  restatement  of  the  older  formulas, 
and  this  gave  me  the  opportunity  of  comparing  ancient 
and  modern  conditions. 

The  creeds  I  found  treasured  all  the  more  as  a  hymn, 
and  as  a  means  of  magic  transformation,  by  repetition 
photographing  these  supporting  truths  into  the  sub- 
consciousness ;  they  were  a  transfiguration  rather  than 
a  mere  doctrinal  discussion.  The  Bible  also  was  treas- 
ured all  the  more  as  a  supreme  summation  of  all  early 
myths,  rather  than  as  a  field  for  feuds  over  literal  in- 
terpretation ;  and  to  it  were  added  the  more  important 
apocryphal  books,  the  Wisdom  of  Solomon,  Tobit, 
Ecclesiasticus,  Enoch,  the  Assumption  of  Moses,  The 
Didache,  and  the  other  books  which  form  the  bridge 
between  the  Testaments,  and  without  which  the  New 
Testament  cannot  easily  be  properly  understood.  The 
historic  episcopate  was  more  precious  than  ever  as 
time  went  on,  as  a  human  link  with  the  personality  of 
the  Saviour.  The  blessed  sacrament  also  appreciated 
in  value,  not  only  as  a  memorial,  and  assurance  of 
hospitality  of  the  divine,  as  an  insurance  of  repentance 
and  consequent  comradeship ;  as  means  of  spiritual 
healing,  as  source  of  guidance,  wisdom  and  counsel ; 
as  the  means  of  miraculous  grace,  by  which  the  inner 
spiritual  man's  senses  should  be  developed  to  independ- 
ent consciousness  able  to  survive  the  shipwreck  of 
death;  as  strength  of  faith,  and  consoling  happiness 
amidst  the  tumultuous  waves  of  life. 

On  our  long  trips  together  we  had  opportunity  to 


160     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

discuss  all  this;  and  while  my  companion  was  disposed 
to  accept  everything-,  and  considered  the  church  the 
broadest  meeting  ground  for  all  forms  of  religious  life, 
Christianity  especially  recommended  itself  to  her  as 
the  religion  of  sacrifice  (parable  of  the  Good  Samar- 
itan) ;  of  redemption  of  the  lost  (parable  of  the  Prod- 
igal Son).  She  realized  that  the  trouble  with  selfish- 
ness was  not  beginning  with  self,  but  staying  there ; 
and  that  the  stages  of  life  were  not  so  much  mental, 
moral  and  spiritual,  as  "sacrificial."  She  also  felt  that 
the  state  religion  of  democracy,  while  a  splendid 
achievement  for  the  human  race,  could  never  have 
come  into  being  without  the  sacrificial  ardor  of  mar- 
tyrs, and  the  unselfish  participation  of  the  United 
States,  which  motive  could  have  been  supplied  by 
nothing"  less  than  such  a  redeeming  mission. 

I  myself  was  put  through  a  careful  review  of  my 
knowledge  of  the  canonical  examination  subjects ;  I 
was  tested  in  all  the  details  with  which,  if  really 
ordained,  I  should  have  been  familiar;  and  barring- 
many  differences  natural  in  so  long  a  distance  of  time, 
I  was  assured  of  legitimization. 

The  next  Sunday  evenirij,^  proved  one  of  the  turning 
points  of  my  life.  To  begin  with,  Lilac  was  confirmed; 
and  her  splendid  devotion,  her  enlightened  vision,  and 
womanly  firmness  in  public  avowal  of  her  consecration 
affected  to  tears  even  the  aged  but  active  bishop. 
Next,  my  own  orders  were  publicly  recognized  hypo- 
thetically;  and  I  felt  that  the  renewal  of  my  mission, 
even  to  a  new  civilization,  provided  me  with  a  rein- 
vigoration  of  spirit  which  no  mere  physical  cure  could 
have  effected.  Moreover  this  genuine  living  friendship 
with  my  only  support  in  a  foreign  age  provided  me 
with  a  complimentary  foundation.  So  it  happened  that 
simultaneously  the  flames  of  both  our  hearts  united 
as,  after  the  service,  we  were  congratulating  each 
other;  we   found   ourselves  in  each   other's  arms,   and 


CHRISTIAN  SERVICE  161 

we  implored  the  bishop  to  complete  his  benediction  of 
our  lives,  by  uniting  them  forever. 

While  under  usual  circumstances  so  sudden  a  request 
would  have  been  refused,  nevertheless  my  position  in 
orders,  and  hers  as  a  well-known  member  of  contem- 
porary society,  and  the  rare  emotions  of  this  unique 
occasion  worked  together  so  as  to  move  the  bishop 
to  accede  to  our  request ;  and  before  we  left  the  forest 
sanctuary  we  were  pledged  to  a  fusion  of  our  destinies. 


CHAPTER  XVII 
MATRIMONIAL  SCHOOL 

In  the  cool  gray  dawn  of  the  morning  after  both  of 
us  no  doubt  felt  somewhat  overwhelmed  by  a  realiza- 
tion of  what  we  had  done.  Frankly,  I  expected  serious 
complications ;  and  Lilac  unmistakably  betrayed  hesita- 
tion ;  but  we  both  gave  each  other  courage ;  and  after 
the  angelus  sunrise  service  we  explained  ourselves  to 
her  parents.  To  my  surprise,  they  received  our  ex- 
planation with  satisfaction.  Effusively  the  mother 
embraced  her  daughter,  and  the  father  welcomed  me 
into  the  family  circle  cordially.  However,  as  we  had 
received  the  religious  benediction  before,  instead  of 
after  the  usual  course  in  the  state  matrimonial  school, 
it  behooved  us  to  realize  our  union  in  the  usual  manner 
by  winning  its  diploma. 

It  was  with  some  trepidation  that  I  accompanied 
Lilac  to  that  institution.  Up  to  the  present  time  I  had 
been  as  it  were  a  visitor  to  the  various  modern  activ- 
ities, and  my  role  of  stranger  had  protected  me  from 
any  intimate  contact  with  modern  individuals  beyond 
the  natural  courtesy  proper  on  such  an  occasion.  Now 
I  was  to  place  myself  on  an  equality  with  them,  where 
my  mental  faculties  would  be  compared  with  theirs, 
and  my  social  qualities  put  to  the  adequate  test  of 
securing  business  and  friendly  relations.  Then  I  sup- 
posed that  my  mature  age  would  be  at  a  disadvantage 

163 


MATRIMONIAL  SCHOOL  163 

with  youth,  and  I  feared  that  my  unique  experience  in 
prolongation  of  Hfe  would  expose  me  to  curiosity, 
ridicule,  or  insult.  In  all  this  I  was  most  agreeably 
disappointed.  Beyond  the  very  slightest  remarks  about 
my  personal  history,  I  was  met  with  nothing  but 
friendly  cordiahty,  inasmuch  as  in  these  days  of  cosmo- 
politanism provincialism  was  openly  censured.  My  age 
proved  no  disadvantage,  because  although  the  majority 
of  the  students  were  recent  high  school  graduates, 
there  were  many  older  students  who  had  either  lost 
their  mates  by  death,  or  were  in  danger  of  losing  them 
by  disagreement.  As  to  social  relations,  I  found  I 
should  have  the  guidance  of  classes  on  that  very  sub- 
ject; and  besides,  I  discovered  human  nature  had 
remained  much  the  same  since  my  day,  and  indeed 
since  the  times  of  the  Pyramids,  judging  by  stories 
biblical  and  nineteenth  century. 

In  one  point  only,  however,  did  I  find  myself  out- 
classed :  and  that  was  the  mental  keenness  resulting 
from  education.  This  had,  since  my  days,  been  turned 
topsy-turvy.  Formerly  there  were  still  many  subjects 
of  study,  such  as  mathematics,  Latin  and  Greek,  which, 
although  useless  in  themselves,  were  carried  for  the 
sake  of  the  mental  discipline  they  were  alleged  to  yield. 
Practical  needs,  however,  displaced  them  in  favor  of 
subjects  useful  in  themselves.  These  latter  then  were 
later  taught  in  a  manner  different  enough  to  concen- 
trate effort,  and  to  save  waste.  The  results  w^ere  such 
as  to  demonstrate  that  the  prime  object  of  education 
was  not  to  store  the  mind  with  material  of  any  kind, 
however  useful  it  might  be,  but  to  develop  a  character 
unmistakably  refined  and  socialized.  Later  still,  this 
mental  training  was  made  the  chief  curriculum ;  and  all 
facts  necessary  to  a  useful  social  and  efficient  individual 
life  were  used  as  examples  and  illustrations  of  the  basic 
processes  of  intellection.  This  was  what  probably  was 
in  the  mind  of  Locke  and  Rousseau,  and  which  they 


164     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

did  not  succeed  in  expressing.  It  was  the  dawn  of  a 
new  educational  day,  as  the  results  were  marvelous. 

Nevertheless,  every  one  was  kind  to  me,  and  every 
possible  allowance  or  exception  was  made  in  my  favor. 
Pure  mental  studies,  of  course,  were  absent  from  the 
matrimonial  school's  curriculum.  The  chief  emphasis 
was  laid  on  the  social  points  in  which  I  was  strongest, 
so  that  I  held  my  own  pretty  well.  An  exception, 
physical  and  mental,  I  was  of  course  considered,  and 
therefore  no  attempt  of  any  kind  was  made  to  "turn 
the  screws"  on  me. 

Compensations,  besides,  there  were.  The  more 
thoughtful  students  were  ever  ready  to  hear  my 
opinions  or  criticisms  of  any  disputed  point ;  and  my 
difficulty  lay  not  so  much  in  making  friends,  as  in  most 
carefully  winnowing  my  acquaintances.  My  bride  was, 
besides,  a  most  sympathetic  guide,  and  my  wits  were 
sharpened  to  the  utmost  by  a  reaHzation  that  I  had  so 
much  at  stake. 

My  physical  health  was  fair,  and  weekly  examina- 
tions by  the  ward  experts  kept  me  from  indulging  in 
any  over-strain  or  excess.  I  was  excused  from  the 
usual  military  athletic  exercises  demanded  by  the  state 
as  a  very  slight  recognition  of  the  gift  of  a  free  edu- 
cation. Moreover,  Lilac  and  I  weekly  made  week-end 
excursions  in  the  western  country,  avoiding  the  moun- 
tains, except  in  a  carriage. 

Thus  this  six  months'  period  became  a  most  delight- 
ful experience,  and  one  of  the  serenest  times  in  my 
whole  existence,  early  or  late.  It  was  in  fact  a  glorified 
courting  period,  legitimized,  educationalized,  and 
spiritualized.  This  was  really  one  of  the  shames  of 
the  ancient  world,  that  the  period  which  in  any  man's 
or  woman's  life  should  have  been  the  happiest  and 
most  respected,  had  generally  been  one  of  ridicule, 
difficulties,  or  even  dissimulation. 

That  this  period,  essential  as  it  was  to  any  happy  or 


MATRIMONIAL  SCHOOL  165 

worthy  marriage,  had  not  been  legitimized,  was  the 
cause  that  most  unions  were  either  unhappy  or  un- 
worthy. Chance  or  contiguity  were  the  most  im- 
portant factors,  anywhere;  in  France,  India,  or  China, 
the  cause  was  mostly  business;  in  Spain,  physical 
attractiveness,  among  the  rich,  social  advancement, 
and  in  the  religious  world,  despair,  euphemized  as 
resignation.  That  there  were  so  many  unhappy  mar- 
riages was  not  the  real  wonder,  but  that  there  were 
so  few. 

That  there  were  any  happy  marriages  at  all  was  a 
tribute  to  the  almost  incredible  adaptivity  of  human 
nature,  and  to  despair.  In  my  day  some  Chicago  and 
Western  churches  had  established  "courting  parlors," 
but  the  war  ended  all  that ;  and  really  this  feature  had 
been  no  more  than  a  miserable  notoriety  fake.  But 
the  need  was  so  urgent  that  sometimes  Western  cow- 
boys or  Canadian  miners  would  write  to  Eastern  news- 
papers or  mayors  of  towns,  asking  them  to  supply  a 
wife.  So  desperate  was  the  need  of  opportunities  of 
becoming  acquainted  that  in  spite  of  every  available 
influence  there  arose  matrimonial  sheets  and  agencies. 
When  the  legitimate  human  needs  are  branded  as  not 
respectable,  respectability  can  survive  only  by  ostrich- 
like purposive  self-delusion.  Where  despotism  in 
Europe  compelled  unions,  they  were  not  only  brutal, 
but  compatible  with  morganatic  alliances.  Except  for 
one  American  president,  to  his  honor  be  it  said,  who, 
in  spite  of  ridicule,  cared  enough  for  individuals,  nation, 
or  race,  to  speak  openly  of  such  matters,  there  was, 
in  public,  nobody  who  would  even  moot  such  a  prob- 
lem, though  it  was  of  fundamental  importance.  On 
the  contrary,  all  the  laws  penalized  the  unselfish  who 
saved  the  race  by  propagation.  True,  many  marriages 
were,  by  chance,  contracted  between  individuals  whose 
education  had  been  similar;  but  there  had  been  no 
organized  attempt  to  educationalize  marriage. 


166     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

Yet  the  least  reflection  should  have  made  it  plain 
that  if  in  every  department  of  life  efficiency  is  increased 
by  education,  this  must  also  be  true  in  the  department 
of  matrimony.  People  who  are  to  be  married  should 
be  educated  for  it ;  and  those  who  in  marriage  are 
unhappy  should  educationalize  their  difficulties,  even 
though  we  may  grant  that  some  of  them  may  always 
remain  insoluble.  Education  could  also  aid  in  the 
selection  of  who  should,  or  should  not  marry.  It  was 
not  so  very  long  ago  that  there  remained  people  and 
churches,  such  as  the  "Hard-shell  Baptists,"  who  in- 
sisted on  the  right  to  ignorance;  but  nevertheless, 
compulsory  education  won  its  way,  and  was  enforced 
by  the  state  of  the  most  enlightened  countries.  So 
there  are  still  not  only  people  who  claim  the  right  to 
"single  blessedness,"  but  even  some  of  the  largest  of 
the  religious  organizations,  like  the  Buddhists  and 
Romanists,  who  insist  on  it  for  their  monks,  nuns,  and 
priests.  But  the  worst  was  that  it  was  these  very  most 
refined  and  religious  people  whose  offspring  the  state 
could  least  afford  to  miss.  Above  all  other  people 
these,  therefore,  had  to  be  conscripted,  and  experience 
in  the  modern  state  has  demonstrated  that  there  is  no 
difficulty  in  this  when  marriage  is  made  compulsory, 
universal,  reasonably  happy,  respectable,  and  possible 
for  all. 

This  was  the  reason  why  my  attendance  at  the  matri- 
monial school  was  not  considered  ridiculous.  Here 
bachelorhood  was  considered  either  a  misfortune,  a 
confession  of  impotence  or  insanity,  or  an  evasion  of 
the  laws ;  while  attendance  at  such  a  school  was  not 
only  a  matter  of  duty,  but  a  very  real  privilege.  I  was 
therefore  considered  in  the  light  of  making  up  an  in- 
evitable handicap ;  so  that  this  course  of  mine  was 
approved,   and  earned   me   universal   good-will. 

While  many  of  those  who  attended  the  school  had 
already  tentatively  made  their  choice  of  a  partner,  the 


MATRIMONIAL  SCHOOL  167 

I  majority  were  still  in  a  receptive  condition ;  and 
besides,  before  the  end  many  of  the  semi-engaged 
ones  changed  their  minds.  This  was  much  approved, 
being  one  of  the  chief  objects  of  the  course,  to  ration- 
alize the  selective  process.  In  any  event,  however,  no 
one  was  graduated,  or  given  the  right  to  vote  at  any 
election,  or  to  be  inducted  into  any  salaried  position, 
who  had  not  formed  a  suitable  permanent  union. 

Although  in  my  case,  through  the  religious  cere- 
mony, there  was  no  change  probable  or  possible,  this 
was  neither  known  nor  recognized  publicly.  I  was, 
therefore,  just  as  my  bride,  compelled,  during  the 
"selective  course,"  to  contract  two  other  preliminary 
tentative  engagements,  so  as  to  get  us  the  experience 
necessary  to  efficient  selection.  This  was  my  most 
trying  period ;  I  begrudged  my  tentative  partner  every 
moment ;  I  was  hardly  courteous.  I  had  to  go  through 
the  prescribed  number  of  moon-light  walks,  day  excur- 
sions, dances,  parties,  and  trips  to  museums,  shops, 
and  so  forth.  I  fear  I  simplified  the  question  of  choice 
for  my  partners,  by  leaving  them  but  little  doubt  that 
I  was  not  romantic  enough;  but  no  doubt  I  aided 
their  appreciation  of  their  next  cavalier.  I,  too,  gained ; 
for  as  soon  as  they  realized  that  I  was  out  of  the 
question,  they  treated  me  to  douches  of  good  advice 
and  unvarnished  appreciations,  holding  up  to  me  the 
mirror  of  modern  opinion  about  myself.  Better  than 
ever  did  I  realize  how  much  I  owed  to  Lilac's  generos- 
ity, although  in  answer  to  their  remarks  that  they 
could  not  imagine  what  Lilac  could  see  in  me,  I  could 
have  said  something  about  our  sharing  religious 
enthusiasms  which  to  them  were  incomprehensible. 
Besides  I  really  took  advantage  of  their  criticisms,  real- 
izing better  modern  etiquette,  and  how  thereby  to 
make  Lilac  happier  in  the  future.  I  received  such  a 
lesson  from  these  fair  teachers,  —  the  best  teachers  of 
men,  in  the  world,  for  they  are  attractive  enough  to 


168     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

make  every  word  carry  and  stick  like  an  arrow,  or 
insinuate  a  poisoned  barb  under  the  skin  where  it  will 
do  the  most  good,  —  that  I  realized  that  the  cultural 
value  of  the  flirting  school  of  my  early  days  had  also 
infinitely  increased.  Besides,  this  intimate  social 
acquaintance  was  a  splendid  introduction  to  modern 
social  activities  and  a  warning  of  the  dangers  of  the 
marriage  really  wanted. 

I  might  add  that  there  were  no  unnecessary  limita- 
tions. Students  who  were  not  suited  in  one  local  school 
had  the  privilege,  nay  encouragement,  to  visit  similar 
schools  in  other  localities.  In  this  they  were  guided 
by  experts  who  had  full  information  as  to  unmated 
eligibles  elsewhere,  their  real  nature,  and  priA'ate  his- 
tory since  infancy,  so  that  there  was  no  opportunity 
for  pretense,  secrecy  or  deceit.  As  all  persons  received 
equivalent  pay,  the  only  factor  in  selection  was,  as 
indeed  it  should  have  been,  the  personal  characteristic 
and  equation.  Those  who  were  hard  to  suit,  delayed 
their  life-work  to  that  extent;  and  beyond  a  certain 
limit  the  advice  of  experts,  at  first  optional,  later 
became  compulsory.  As  these  latter  compulsory  unions; 
were  dreaded,  the  matrimonial  students  did  not  dally 
unnecessarily.  At  the  same  time,  it  might  be  thought 
that  these  compulsory  unions  would  have  been  child- 
less. Far  from  it,  because  the  family  income  increased 
with  the  number  of  children ;  so  that  the  compulsory 
partners  —  who  had  indeed  been  mated  by  experts,  — 
very  soon  agreed  to  compromise,  and  in  almost  all 
cases  found  happiness,  —  as  happened  frequently  in 
the  French  business  partnership. 

The  length  of  the  course  was  good  also  in  that  it 
prevented  haste  in  selection  of  partners,  or  "love  at 
first  sight,"  which,  when  carefully  considered,  is  seen 
to  be  a  most  preposterous  proposition.  What  has 
appearance  to  do  with  love?  For  there  are  many  human 
beings  who  do  not  have  the  gift  of  outwardly  showing 


MATRIMONIAL  SCHOOL  169 

their  best  sides,  and  the  most  superficial  are  those  who 
make  the  best  appearance.  Studious  systematic  con- 
sideration, backed  by  full  private  information,  is  there- 
fore necessary  to  happiness  in  the  greatest  number  of 
cases.  Such  a  scientific  selection  of  partners  is  also 
necessary  to  eradicate  those  hideous  conditions  which 
in  the  old  world  frequently  eventuated  in  murder  or 
suicide,  on  post-facto  discovery  of  evil  habits,  secret 
diseases,  or  unconvictable  crimes.  Then  the  church 
would  demand  life-long"  sacrifice  from  the  innocent 
party !    What  a  monstrous  perversion ! 

The  curriculum  of  the  matrimonial  school  was  very 
broad;  and  to  my  amusement  the  same  for  both  sexes, 
on  the  assumption  that  in  emergencies  each  could  re- 
place the  other,  and  the  understanding  of  each  other's 
specialty  would  lead  to  more  sympathetic  allowances 
and  understandings.  So  there  was  sewing,  cooking, 
laundering,  hygiene,  medication,  —  chiefly  preventive, 
—  and  other  similar  studies.  On  the  mental  plane, 
there  was  character-study,  theoretical  and  practical ;  a 
review  of  literature  and  poetry,  to  supply  common 
ideals,  and  facile  emotional  expression.  Here  love- 
poetry  was  reduced  to  the  level  of  class-room  exercise, 
and  each  candidate  had  to  write  several  love-poems  to 
each  of  the  tentatively  engaged  partners.  This  was 
done  on  the  grounds  that  two  persons  could  not  per- 
manently live  happily  together  without  keeping  up 
mutual  affection  by  occasional  friendly  appreciations, 
which  should  not  be  all  on  one  side,  either.  There  were 
music,  drawing,  kodak  and  hiking  courses,  so  that  the 
young  people  might  unite  in  the  simpler  pleasures; 
and  this  extended  to  common  nature  study.  Chief  of 
all  there  was  social  dancing. 

It  was  also  felt  that  the  partners  should  share  spirit- 
ual ideals.  This  was  effected  first  by  talks,  and  then  by 
together  taking  part  in  religious  dramas,  which  incul- 
cated the  elementary  practices  of  home  difficulties. 


170     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

The  chief  of  these  uniting  dramas  were  the  "Modern- 
ifed  Mysteries,"  which  condensed  and  adapted  the  best 
of  the  ancient  rehgions  and  mysteries  in  a  form  suitable 
to  modern  minds  and  hearts.  The  idea  was  that  two 
matrimonial  candidates  should  be  trained  similarly  not 
only  in  physical  problems,  which  they  would  have  to 
meet  together,  but  in  the  spiritual  situations  they 
would  have  to  face  in  partnership.  The  possibility  of 
failure  was  emphasized  by  the  male  candidate'  Mystus 
in  the  sixth  degree  failing,  and  being  replaced  by  a 
last  year's  failure,  Camillus.  Of  course  the  same  candi- 
date took  both  parts,  but  he  was  made  to  realize  that 
in  spiritual  unfoldment  the  old  self  does  fail,  and  is 
left  behind.  These  mysteries  also  suggested  that  mar- 
riage is  a  series  of  progressive  initiations,  and  that 
only  the  sacrificial  attitude  can  weld  two  hearts  to- 
gether. Besides,  each  of  these  twelve  taught  knowl- 
edge of  one  of  the  twelve  classes  of  character,  and 
showed  how  each  could  adapt  itself  to  every  other, 
while  laying  the  foundation  of  prayer  and  other  neces- 
sary practices  of  household  religion.  At  first  I  was 
surprised  by  the  conception  of  marriage  as  a  mystery; 
but  soon  I  realized  that  it  was  something  unspeakable, 
a  problem  too  deep  for  solution  by  men  alone,  without 
divinity.  Of  course  the  church  used  to  consider  it  a 
sacrament,  or  means  of  grace;  and  that  marriage  had 
always  been  used  as  a  symbol  of  the  unifying  of  the 
soul  with  her  divinity.  The  Mormons  had  frankly 
called  it  a  mystery,  to  be  celebrated  secretly  in  their 
temple;  and  only  on  such  a  sacred  conception  could 
it  ever  be  anything  but  a  profanation  of  the  human  soul. 

In  the  matrimonial  school  the  most  interesting 
features  were  the  corrective  classes.  While  they  were 
open  to  any  person  who  was  conscious  of  any  particular 
defect  of  character,  they  were  chiefly  intended  for 
those  whose  home  conditions  had  begun  to  drift  on  the 
rocks.    Divorce  was  considered  a  method  as  crude  as 


MATRIMONIAL  SCHOOL  171 

killing  off  the  sick  would  have  been,  after  having  left 
them  to  struggle  along  without  any  medical  attention, 
as  was  done  in  medieval  times.  Since  divorce  evidently 
arose  from  a  lack  of  common  interests,  common  sense 
indicated  supplying  new  common  interests  strong 
enough  to  insure  happiness  in  partnership.  So  the 
courts  condemned  the  unhappy  to  a  matrimonial  hos- 
pital, where  suitable  courses  taken  in  common  under 
expert  unifying  supervision  usually  effected  a  sufficient 
community  of  interests  to  reintroduce  sympathy  and 
affection.  Superficially  minded  couples  were  even 
sometimes  condemned  to  child-birth.  However,  in 
case  of  disease,  crime  or  insanity,  if  the  children  were 
provided  for,  the  union  might  ultimately  be  dissolved. 
A  divorced  person,  however,  was  not  turned  loose 
upon  the  community.  Such  a  one  was  considered  an 
invalid,  and  by  the  authorities  was  disposed  of  for  the 
best  interests  of  the  state,  not  according  to  his  own 
fancy.  Thus  the  prospect  of  divorce,  being  probably 
an  involuntary  union,  was  not  alluring  enough  to 
encourage  breaking  up  of  an  existing  alliance  that  was 
at  all  possible. 

Our  day  of  graduation  finally  arrived.  Before  the 
whole  interested  ward-meeting  we  renewed  our  vows, 
the  matrimonial  experts  having  interposed  no  objection 
to  our  union,  in  view  of  the  peculiar  circumstances  of 
our  case ;  or  I  am  firmly  convinced  that  so  blooming 
a  maiden  as  Lilac  would  not  have  been  permitted  to 
waste  herself  on  so  old  a  stick  as  I.  However,  I  later 
tried  to  make  her  as  happy  as  I  could;  at  any  rate,  I 
was  the  happiest  man  in  the  world,  and  she  at  least  had 
the  happiness  of  being  appreciated  and  reverenced. 
We  continued  to  live  at  Lilac's  home,  and  there  pre- 
pared ourselves  for  the  holier  and  more  intimate 
relation  of  parenthood.  There  was  not  a  cloud  on 
my  sky. 


CHAPTER  XVIII 
LEGAL  ADMINISTRATION 

The  Greeks  used  to  say  that  the  gods  envied  the 
happiness  of  mortals;  however  that  be,  in  this  world 
things  do  seem  to  go  by  contraries.  No  sooner  was 
I  comfortably  settled,  trying  to  apply  in  my  daily  life 
the  exalted  spiritual  vision  of  the  Modernized  Mys- 
teries, when  I  was  compelled  to  realize  that  the  very 
foundations  of  my  physical  life  were  at  stake. 

My  restoration  to  consciousness  had  occurred  on 
September  30,  2025.  The  following  autumn  had  been 
spent  in  the  Sierras,  recuperating,  the  winter  m  learn- 
ing to  know  the  modern  civilization,  the  sprmg  and 
summer  in  the  matrimonial  school.  September  had 
brought  to  me  a  new  lease  of  life  in  my  married  exist- 
ence ;  so  that  I  now  had  been  one  full  year  in  my  new 
surroundings.  I  was  so  happy  that  I  never  dreamed 
that  my  possession  was  merely  a  leasehold,  from  which 
I  was  to  be  ejected  by  fate. 

Unexpectedly  I  felt  attacks  of  weakness,  which  grew 
more  and  more  frequent,  until  I  passed  into  general 
debility.  All  sorts  of  tonics  were  tried  on  me  by  physi- 
cians whose  anxiety  I  assumed  to  be  founded  on  a 
laudable  scientific  zeal  to  win  out  against  an  obscure 
condition.  They  continued  to  express  hope,  and  to 
devise  new  remedies  until  they  noticed  the  initiatory 
symptoms  of  arterial  degeneration ;  then  they  declared 


LEGAL  ADMINISTRATION  173 

their  inability  to  cope  with  the  situation,  and  an- 
nounced to  me  and  Lilac's  family  that  the  only  hope 
of  my  survival  lay  in  something  more  radical  than 
they  knew  how  to  apply.  Though  this  was  an  acknowl- 
edgement of  their  defeat,  they  themselves  advised  the 
calling  into  consultation  of  Dr.  Policiver,  who  had 
originally  awakened  me  from  my  century-long  leth- 
argy, and  who  might,  in  the  present  urgency,  again 
have  some  effective  remedy  to  suggest  or  apply.  At 
first  this  course  was  put  aside  resolutely;  but  as  it 
became  evident  that  nothing  else  was  likely  to  prove 
of  any  avail,  the  problem  soon  resolved  itself  into  the 
alternative  of  either  calling  him,  or  letting  me  perish. 
Everybody's  antipathy  to  Dr.  Policiver,  and  the 
gradual  realization  that  he  was  my  last  resort,  brought 
back  into  my  mind  what  Orchid  had  confided  to  me 
about  her  brother,  and  to  which  indeed  I  had  neither 
paid  strict  attention,  nor  retained  in  my  mind.  At  first 
my  situation  was  so  confused  that  I  might  find  some 
difficulty  in  describing  it  clearly.  It  began  to  dawn  on 
me  why  Lilac's  parents  had  accepted  my  precipitate 
union  with  her  so  gladly ;  indeed,  had  I  not  been  blinded 
by  inevitable  personal  equations,  —  I  will  not  say,  by 
conceit,  —  I  should  at  once  have  understood  that  there 
lay  some  ulterior  purpose  under  willingness  to  let  so 
charming  a  being  as  Lilac  become  engaged  to  so 
undesirable  a  person  as  I.  I  saw  that  they  had  really 
promoted  the  union,  by  asking  her  to  become  my  com- 
panion and  guide.  So  long  as  I  remained  with  them, 
I  was  not  likely  to  claim,  or  take  away  from  the  now 
immense  fortune  bequeathed  to  me  by  Mrs.  Parker. 
Marriage  to  her,  of  course,  would  keep  it  in  their  hands 
permanently.  Orchid's  warnings  proved  true;  only 
neither  she  nor  I  had  foreseen  that  I  would  be  decoyed 
by  a  genuine  affection  for  a  worthy  lady.  For  a 
moment  I  felt  faint  at  the  suspicion  that  Lilac  herself 
was  in  the  plot ;  but  I  absolved  her  from  this  mercen- 


174     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

ariness  not  only  because  I  loved  her,  or  because  she 
herself  did  not  profit  by  the  money,  but  because  of  her 
genuine  hesitation  at  the  time  when  she  announced  our 
religious  marriage  to  her  parents.  Evidently  she,  too, 
had  been  used  as  a  tool;  nor,  considering  the  trans- 
parency of  her  character,  could  anything  else  have  been 
possible.  Even  now^  she  had  neither  been  told,  nor 
even  suspected  the  full  truth;  for  she  insisted  that  if 
my  hfe  was  at  stake,  and  could  profit  by  a  consultation 
with  Dr.  Policiver,  she  would  insist  on  his  being  called, 
even  if  this  should  portend  danger  to  her  father. 

As  to  my  own  feelings,  I  also  was  averse  to  any 
renewal  of  relations  with  the  Liberian  discoverer.  To 
begin  with.  Orchid  herself  had  warned  me  against  him 
personally,  and  had  revealed  to  me  that  though  he  had 
saved  me,  it  had  been  only  for  motives  no  less  mercen- 
ary than  those  of  the  authorities  against  whom  he  had 
warned  me.  Between  these  two  parties,  there  was  this 
difference,  that  while  he  personally  was  a  dangerous 
character,  the  latter  were  of  good  standing  in  the  com- 
munity, and  personally  more  eligible,  in  case  I  was 
driven  to  make  a  choice  between  them.  In  either  case 
I  would  lose  the  money,  which  was  an  immaterial  con- 
sideration, as  I  was  never  disposed  to  mercenariness. 

Then  in  choosing  allegiance  I  had  to  consider  the 
two  women.  Orchid  and  Lilac.  Lilac  was  innocent; 
Orchid  confessedly  an  accomplice.  Lilac  was  my  wife, 
while  Orchid,  however  genuinely  friendly,  had  warned 
me  our  friendship  might  be  marred.  Lilac  had  given 
herself  to  me  with  all  the  rapture  of  passionate*  self- 
surrender,  and  was  watching  over  me  with  all  the 
solicitude  of  a  guardian  angel,  while  Orchid  had 
already  faded  into  the  archives  of  memory.  While 
during  the  first  days  of  our  separation  I  had  been  con- 
tinually looking  for  her,  I  had  gradually  given  her  up ; 
and  since  my  marriage  I  felt  a  certain  apprehension 
at  meeting  her  under  the  changed  circumstances. 


LEGAL  ADMINISTRATION  175 

None  of  us,  therefore,  had  any  desire  to  resume 
relations  with  Dr.  PoHciver.  Least  of  all,  the  museum 
director  who  was  under  no  delusion  as  to  the  price 
that  would  be  exacted  for  restoring  me  to  life,  if  that 
were  still  possible.  The  museum  stood  in  the  way  of 
losing  everything  by  my  death;  while  by  my  recovery, 
through  Lilac,  now  my  wife,  they  might  hope  to  keep 
it  in  their  hands.  When  the  alternative  was  definitely 
presented  before  them,  they  had  no  choice,  but  to 
yield ;  and,  bitterest  of  all,  to  make  every  conceivable 
effort  to  locate  their  enemy  who  a  year  ago  had  effaced 
himself  out  of  the  situation  so  willingly  only  because 
he  had  so  clearly  anticipated  this  very  contingency. 

It  was  therefore  not  before  I  was  ready  to  expire 
that  the  triumphant  expert  arrived  by  my  bed-side; 
but  even  so  he  first  madejiis  terms.  He  agreed  to  do 
his  best  to  restore  me  only  on  condition  that  I  should 
be  handed  over  to  him,  and  that  he  should  be  allowed 
to  throw  the  whole  matter  of  the  succession,  including 
the  will,  which  had  remained  in  the  museum  safe,  into 
the  courts.  As  this  seemed  my  only  chance  of  survival, 
Lilac  agreed  to  our  separation,  which  we  hoped  would 
be  only  temporary ;  for  as  soon  as  I  should  have  recov- 
ered nothing  could  have  kept  me  from  her  side,  even 
if  my  name  was  being  used  legally  to  oppose  her 
father;  and  indeed  she  planned  to  come  to  me  as  soon 
as  Dr.  Policiver  should  permit.  She  was  sobbing  in 
her  sorrow. 

I  was  put  into  a  carriage,  in  which  I  found  Orchid; 
but  I  was  too  far  gone  to  be  able  to  object  to  her 
nursing.  I  was  in  somnolent  stupor,  only  half  respons- 
ible, and  somehow  the  present  experience  telescoped 
into  the  memory  of  the  former  one  when  I  was  ab- 
ducted from  the  museum  to  the  foot-hills  of  the  Sierras. 
This  time,  however,  I  was  taken  south,  to  Summer- 
land,  on  the  Santa  Barbara  coast ;  and  there  in  a  small 
cabin,  in  the  forests,  so  far  from  any  other  house  that 


176     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

I  could  not  have  communicated  with  any  one  else,  had 
I  so  desired,  I  was  stretched  out  on  a  couch,  and  soon 
operated  on.  Another  transfusion  of  blood  was  made, 
and  it  was  once  more  Orchid  who  devoted  herself  for 
my  reanimation. 

Gradually  I  recovered,  and  with  returning  vigor  I 
pleaded  all  the  more  determinedly  for  Lilac  to  be 
allowed  to  come  to  my  bed-side.  Orchid's  procrastina- 
tion of  the  question  finally  irritated  me,  and  it  was  only 
then  that  was  broken  to  me  my  tragic  misfortune. 
Lilac  had  overheard  the  quarrel  between  her  father 
and  Dr.  Policiver,  and  had  at  last  understood  that  she 
had  been  used  as  a  bait,  a  decoy,  a  tool.  She  refused 
to  stay  at  her  home,  and  in  despair  at  the  loss  of  all 
she  had  loved,  she  had  sickened,  and  was  interned  in 
a  sanitarium.  So  I  had  to  resign  myself  to  wait  on 
Providence. 

Really,  I  seemed  to  be  the  one  of  the  party  who 
least  cared  what  became  of  me.  I  was  most  efficiently 
nursed  during  my  stay  in  bed ;  then  I  was  compelled 
to  walk  on  the  sea-shore,  and  to  take  regular  exercise ; 
Dr.  Policiver  administered  massage,  and  treated  me  in 
a  very  business-like  way.  In  spite  of  my  despondency 
I  felt  my  body  reinvigorated,  and  I  despised  myself 
for  enjoying  the  thrill  of  the  returning  vital  tides. 

Orchid,  I  must  admit,  behaved  splendidly.  Twice, 
at  the  risk  of  her  own,  she  had  saved  my  life,  and  had 
nursed  me  through  the  maudlin  stages  of  return  to 
consciousness.  Yet  she  never  presumed  on  what  might 
well  have  given  her  over  me  a  right  of  life  and  death. 
She  shared  all  my  walks,  and  responded  to  all  my 
moods.  With  utmost  propriety  and  good  judgment 
she  refrained  from  manifesting  any  undue  affection, 
relieving  me  from  any  feeling  of  unfaithfulness  to  my 
wife.  As  to  Orchid,  for  her  my  feelings  were  confused, 
being  a  mixture  of  gratitude,  pity,  admiration,  and 
dependence ;  gratitude  for  having  twice  saved  my  life ; 


LEGAL  ADMINISTRATION  177 

pity,  because  she  seemed  in  his  power,  fearing  and 
suspecting  him ;  admiration,  for  her  evident  sincerity  in 
all  trying  situations,  so  bravely  trying  to  be  loyal  to 
friends  whose  interests  clashed ;  dependence,  because 
she  was  my  only  touch  with  the  outside  world,  with 
whom  therefore  I  could  not  afford  to  quarrel. 

Then  on  Hallowe'en  came  news  of  tragedy.  Lilac 
had  died.  We  received  a  letter  penned  by  her  on  her 
death-bed  in  which  she  bade  me  good-bye.  I  am  glad 
I  received  it,  or  I  would  have  reproached  myself  to 
my  dying  day.  I  would  have  felt  that  I  had  ruined 
her  gentle  existence.  She  insisted  that  she  was  glad 
that  she  had  known  me,  for  her  own  sake;  and  that 
the  happiness  of  that  year  had  been  a  sufficient  crown 
of  satisfaction.  Also,  that  if  I  had  had  any  happiness, 
she  was  glad  of  it,  as  a  sort  of  compensation  for  her 
father's  designs  on  my  fortune  and  myself.  She  was 
ready  to  pass  on,  but  she  would  be  waiting  for  me 
beyond.  It  certainly  seemed  as  if  Providence  was 
determined  to  snatch  me  from  every  support  to  which 
my  hand  had  ever  reached.  First,  my  wife  and  children 
in  the  long  ago;  then  Orchid,  now  Lilac. 

Orchid  was  indeed  left,  but  separated  from  me  by 
a  deeper  and  holier  memory,  and  her  subordination 
to  her  brother,  whom  she  feared.  Tactful  and  sym- 
pathetic as  she  was,  she  could  never  to  me  become 
what  Lilac  had  been.  Yet  after  I  had  wondered  at 
the  ways  of  Providence  with  me,  I  marvelled  at  its 
ways  with  her.  Here  was  a  charming,  able  woman, 
condemned  apparently  to  live  under  the  shadow  of  an 
enemy,  held  away  from  me  by  barriers  all  the  greater 
for  being  unseen,  and  yet  having  to  a  stranger  lavished 
not  only  irksome  nursing,  but  what  in  these  latter 
days  could  have  in  no  other  way,  or  from  anybody 
else  been  secured,  her  own  life-blood.  Such  situations 
could  be  imagined  and  brought  about  only  by  a  divine 
humorist.     That  is  why  truth  is  stranger  than  fiction. 


178     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

Many  of  these  reflections  swept  over  us  both  as, 
in  her  company,  I  sought  consolation  by  the  lonely 
sea-shore.  After  our  personal  problems  were  more 
clearly  defined,  we  began  to  talk  of  my  law-suit,  and 
the  working  of  the  legal  machinery  of  modern  times. 

As  to  my  law-suit,  I  was  no  more  than  a  spectator, 
and  I  could  not  muster  up  any  genuine  interest  in 
the  fact  that  relying  on  the  authorization  given  him 
at  the  Sierra  retreat,  Dr.  Policiver  had  instituted  suit 
against  the  museum  for  Mrs.  Parker's  inheritance,  of 
which  my  authorization  had  during  my  sickness  made 
him  a  claimant.  But  what  intrigued  me  was  why  this 
matter  should  in  these  modern  days  of  enlightenment 
create  such  a  stir;  in  my  days  inheritance  suits  were 
rather  of  a  bore. 

The  point  was  that  during  my  century-long  sleep 
the  whole  problem  of  labor  and  capital  had  changed, 
leaving  this  inheritance  the  only  large,  nay,  immense 
aggregation  of  capital  in  private  hands.  So  long  as  a 
semi-public  corporation  had  administered  it,  it  had 
become  forgotten;  but  now,  through  my  claim,  it 
threatened  to  pass  into  private  —  and  in  this  case 
suspected  and  dangerous  Policiverian,  —  hands.  If  he 
succeeded,  it  would  make  him  the  influence  most 
dangerous  to  world-wide  democracy  known  in  modern 
times.  He  might  even  try  to  found  an  empire ;  and 
if  he  remained  private,  he  could  influence  public 
opinion  and  retard  progress  indefinitely.  If  on  the 
contrary  Lilac's  father  got  it  into  his  own  hands,  he, 
possessing  more  influence,  might  become  even  more 
dangerous.  Here  I  interrupted  Orchid,  telling  her  I 
still  could  not  apprehend  any  danger  from  private 
control  of  capital ;  in  my  day  it  had  existed  without 
creating  any  excessive  discomfort. 

She  answered  that  even  if  private  control  of  capital 
was  not  in  itself  so  dangerous,  it  would,  however, 
injure    the    present    establishment    of    state    capital. 


LEGAL  ADMINISTRATION  179 

Besides,  political  economists  had  decided  that  capital 
alone  could  not  be  permitted  to  remain  an  exception 
to  the  otherwise  universal  nationalization  of  industries. 
The  process  which,  for  instance,  had  united  all  sub- 
ordinate oil  interests  into  the  nation-wide  Standard  Oil 
private  corporation  could  not  logically  be  stopped 
short  of  nationalization.  When  the  New  Jersey  trac- 
tion, electric  hght  and  power  companies  had  united, 
they  had  the  effrontery  to  call  themselves  the  ''Public 
Service"  corporation.  This,  however,  let  the  cat  out 
of  the  bag,  for  it  compelled  even  the  unwilling  to  see 
that  public  service  should  not  be  run  for  the  profit  of 
financial  scoundrels  who  had  made  paper  fortunes  and 
taxed  the  public  to  pay  interest  on  watered  stocks. 
This  intelligent  emphasis  of  the  true  state  of  affairs 
was,  however,  rare,  and  the  Brooklyn  traction  inter- 
ests, for  example,  found  it  to  their  advantage  to  camou- 
flage the  monopoly  by  splitting  up  again  into  the 
component  companies,  though  running  them  as  a 
single  system;  this  gave  them  specious  reasons  for 
refusing  transfers,  purposely  making  bad  connections, 
and  running  bad  cars.  The  American  public  was  so 
prosperous  as  good-naturedly  to  wink  at  all  such  in- 
iquities, and  the  logical  nationalization  might  have 
been  delayed  a  century,  if  not  permanently,  had  it  not 
been  for  the  war. 

An  example  of  such  a  nationalization  had  been 
familiar  to  all  in  the  biblical  account  of  what  happened 
in  Egypt,  at  the  time  of  Joseph.  There  the  moving 
cause  had  been  seven  years  of  famine.  Here  it  was 
the  world-war  which  effected  nationalization  as  follows. 
The  war-debts  had  risen  to  such  stupendous  sums  as 
to  be  unrealizable,  and  entirely  unredeemable.  Though 
Germany  lost,  she  was  not  able  to  pay  an  indemnity 
to  any  country,  for  her  own  debt  was  such  as  to  have 
ruined  her  entirely,  and  permanently.  The  only  thing 
to  do  was  repudiation.      In  an  autocracy,  of  course, 


180     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

this  meant  a  revolution,  and  the  estabhshment  of  a 
repubhc,  which  possessed  all  a  republic's  weakness  and 
poor  financial  management.  Her  population  left  to 
avoid  the  crushing  taxes,  and  the  few  that  remained 
became  employes  of  the  state,  which  had  to  capitalize 
all  industries.  The  allies,  though  victorious,  were  left 
with  debts  so  staggering  that  the  only  resources  left 
were  interest  on  the  state  loans.  In  a  democracy,  of 
course,  a  further  democratic  revolution  was  impos- 
sible. There  remained  nothing  to  do  but  to  equalize 
resources,  to  conscript  the  wealth  of  the  war's  profit- 
eers, and  to  distribute  all  working  salaries  and  condi- 
tions in  an  equal  manner. 

"But  did  not  labor  interpose,  and  strike?"  inter- 
rupted I,  mindful  of  the  short-sightedness  of  labor, 
English  as  well  as  American. 

"Labor  disputes,"  answered  she,  "which  in  your 
individualistic  days  had  been  tolerated  because  they 
were  supposed  to  be  directed  against  individual  capital- 
ists whose  woes  were  joy  to  the  public,  under  the  new 
conditions,  where  the  only  employer  was  the  state, 
were  revealed  in  their  true  colors  of  the  black  flag  of 
piracy,  black-mail  and  treason.  During  the  war  there 
was  already  a  "work  or  fight"  provision,  and  the  "In- 
dustrial Workers  of  the  World"  which  before  the  war 
were  considered  queer,  during  it  became  traitors. 
When  during  the  war  the  workers  agitated  for  gov- 
ernment ownership  of  railroads,  they  did  indeed 
receive  a  higher  wage,  yet  they  lost  the  right  to 
strike." 

"But  surely,"  objected  I,  "labor  claims  for  a  living 
wage  were  not  considered  treasonable  ?"  My  instructor 
showed  signs  of  impatience.  "Of  course  not,  but  if 
they  are  nothing  more  than  efforts  for  a  living  wage 
they  are  useless,  inasmuch  as  the  unit  of  financial  cir- 
culation is  exactly  one  day's  necessaries  of  life,  and 
the   state   guarantees  that.      Where,   however,   it  was 


LEGAL  ADMINISTRATION  181 

more  than  that,  labor  disputes  were  no  more  than 
sociahzed  cut-throat  threats  against  the  body  politic, 
presuming  upon  the  social  need  tor  some  particular 
kind  of  labor.  These  were  revealed  as  offenses  against 
the  nation,  and  as  such  were  properly  resented,  con- 
demned, and  terminated.  They  were,  in  another  field, 
continuations  of  the  German  principle  of  brutality, 
and  as  such  were  gradually  made  disreputable." 

"How  were  they  stopped?" 

"Through  the  influence  of  patriotism,  whose  religion 
inspired  all  workers  to  work  for  concord,  instead  of 
for  class  advantage.  Moreover,  jealousy  stopped  when 
universal  equality  of  wage  was  introduced,  middle-men 
eliminated  and  consequently  working  hours  of  pro- 
ductive labor  shortened." 

"How  was  this  equalization  brought  about?" 

"By  the  influence  of  the  courts,  which  were  gradually 
extended,  and  merged  into  legislative  committees.  Did 
the  people  of  your  times  not  feel  that  your  court 
system  was  very  wrong?" 

"We  did;  but  what  could  we  do?  The  constitution 
of  the  United  States  had  been  planned  by  aristocrats 
who  disguised  themselves  as  democrats.  In  any  case, 
changes  were  almost  impossible.  The  Supreme  Court 
of  the  United  States,  packed  by  partisan  presidents, 
had  during  a  century  reversed  itself  on  many  of  the 
most  important  questions ;  it  had  defended  slavery  in 
the  Dred  Scott  case.  Substantial  justice  was  the  con- 
ception furthest  from  the  legal  mind ;  what  could  you 
expect  in  a  system  where  a  lawyer  was  paid  according 
to  his  success  for  or  against  a  client?  The  non-partisan- 
ship of  the  District  Attorney's  Oilfice  had  to  be  ex- 
tended over  the  whole  legal  profession,  and  the  situ- 
ation was  not  remedied  until  all  lawyers  were  paid  not 
by  their  client,  but  by  the  state.  Now  they  had  no 
more  private  grudges  to  serve,  and  their  only  interest 
lay  in  promoting  the  state's  general  welfare,  and  sub- 


182     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

stantial  justice  for  al!.  In  my  day  a  trial  was  no  more 
than  a  game  to  be  played  out  according  to  special 
rules,  like  a  game  of  chess.  Exclusion  of  material 
evidence  was  considered  chief  proof  of  a  lawyer's  in- 
genuity, and  winning  on  technicalities  the  smartest 
amusement.  The  general  result  was  instead  of  substan- 
tial justice,  organized  wrong.  Law-suits  were  too 
expensive  for  any  but  the  rich,  and  inventions  were 
exploited  by  pirates,  while  the  real  inventors  died  in 
poverty.  The  Standard  Oil  iniquity  prospered  no  less 
for  having  been  exposed  by  Ida  Tarbell.  Frenzied 
finance  amused,  rather  than  shocked  the  public.  Poli- 
ticians trafficked  in  public  utilities  as  personal  perqui- 
sites till  American  municipal  government  was  a  by- 
word; the  interests  of  the  public  were  undefended,  for 
cheating  the  state  was  a  universal  delusion.  Efforts  to 
amend  conditions  were  called  'muck-raking.'  The  first 
of  all  was  that  all  these  inequalities  were  perpetuated 
by  perfectly  well-meaning  people,  so  that  it  was  impos- 
sible to  arouse  any  efficient  public  sentiment  against 
them." 

After  diverting  Orchid  with  an  account  of  our  mon- 
strous judicial  system,  I  naturally  asked  her  how  her 
modern  times  had  solved  these  serious  problems. 

The  chief  reform  was  at  the  head  of  the  judicial 
system.  The  judges  had  no  longer  anything  to  fear 
or  hope  from  anybody.  Political  bosses  could  not 
favor  them  for  a  renomination,  for  the  reason  that 
the  place  carried  no  salary,  and  there  was  no  mbney 
in  circulation  wnth  which  to  bribe.  The  position  was 
accepted  as  an  honor,  and  a  judge  could  be  recalled 
at  any  w^eekly  ward-meeting;  so  that  even  if  he  had 
been  bribed,  he  could  not  have  carried  out  the  wrong 
decision.  Personal  ambition  was  out  of  the  question, 
as  only  superannuated  retired  sages  were  eligible ;  and 
those  who  did  serve  did  so  as  proof  of  religious  self- 
sacrifice.    It  took  a  great  deal  of  public  spirit  for  any 


LEGAL  ADMINISTRATION  183 

one  to  remain  a  judge,  and  none  of  them  was  more 
pleased  than  when  recalled  to  private  life.  In  modern 
days  the  lingering  fear  of  trusting  the  people  was 
gone,  and  it  was  found  that  in  the  long  run  they,  did 
much  less  harm  than  good,  in  the  exercise  of  the  recall. 
To  avoid  hasty  action  or  local  prejudice,  all  cases  could 
be  without  expense  appealed  to  the  next  higher  court, 
from  ward  to  city,  to  county,  to  state,  to  nation,  to 
continent,  and  to  world. 

In  the  second  place,  the  object  of  court  proceedings 
was  substantial  justice,  and  not  technicalities.  While  a 
technical  court  routine  existed  this  was  never  allowed 
to  become  a  fetish,  and  to  hinder  the  higher  justice. 
Trifles  were  brushed  aside.  In  my  day  I  have  known 
serious  decisions  of  a  supreme  court  upset  because 
some  obscure  newspaper,  which  no  one  read,  had  failed 
to  insert  a  notice  of  the  sitting  of  that  term  of  court. 
I  had  known  guilty  men  freed  simply  because  of  some 
technical  limitation  in  the  indictment.  Nowadays  no 
genuine  relevant  evidence  would  be  excluded,  and  if  a 
case  was  brought  on  some  part  of  a  great  problem,  the 
merits  of  the  whole  controversy  would  be  settled.  It 
was  not  safe  for  any  one  who  had  anything  to  hide  to 
appeal  to  any  court.  In  my  days  extortioners  could 
recover  in  courts,  but  nowadays  the  extortion  would 
have  been  reduced.  Knowledge  that  cases  would  not 
be  limited  to  special  technical  points  kept  ofif  practically 
all  unrighteous  prosecutions  —  as  in  a  case  I  knew  of 
where  the  inventor  of  a  duplicating  process  was  legally 
hounded  to  death  by  the  people  who  had  stolen  his 
patents.  Strike  suits  were  rendered  impossible  by 
refusal  to  dismiss  any  cases  till  fully  ventilated.  As 
all  cases  were  conducted  at  the  cost  of  the  state,  with- 
out any  expense  to  the  parties  involved,  the  state  had 
the  right  to  refuse  consideration  to  any  but  the  most 
meritorious.  Besides,  as  the  state  had  monopolized 
all   opportunities   of   "making   money,"    people    spent 


184     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

their  energies  not  so  much  in  cheating  each  other,  as 
in  achieving"  excellence,  with  a  view  to  a  higher  salary 
grade ;  and  one  of  the  requirements  of  this  was  peace- 
ableness,  and  refusal  to  hold  controversies.  These 
therefore  were  limited  to  the  inevitable.  The  abolition 
of  private  capital  had  removed  the  cause  of  more  than 
half  the  legal  actions.  For  example,  when  during  the 
world-war  the  government  took  over  all  the  railroads 
the  numerous  suits  between  the  railroad  companies 
dropped  automatically.  Money  was  the  very  reason  of 
my  own  law-suit,  as  it  was  the  last  surviving  aggrega- 
tion of  private  capital. 

The  proverbial  delays  of  the  court  had  also  disap- 
peared, for  it  had  been  psychologically  established  that 
the  corrective  value  of  a  punishment  disappears  in 
direct  ratio  to  the  delay  in  its  administration.  Some- 
times trifling  ramifications  were  purposely  omitted,  so 
as  to  render  substantial  justice  within  the  psycholog- 
ically punitive  period.  In  my  days  frequently  a  man's 
claims  were  adjudicated  only  after  his  death;  much 
good  the  vindication  did  him !  Postponements  were 
no  longer  a  recognized  means  of  defeating  the  ends  of 
justice.  This  energy  in  the  administration  of  the  law 
could  never  have  been  efifected  by  any  balancing  of 
statutes;  it  depended  entirely  on  active  public  spirit, 
inspired  and  kept  alive  by  the  religion  of  democracy. 

Insanity  excuses  were  no  longer  advanced.  Why? 
Because  such  an  excuse  meant  life-long  surveillance  by 
the  municipal  authorities.  In  my  day  it  was  accepted 
as  an  excuse,  but  the  alleged  "demented  person"  was 
allowed  to  go  free.  This  life-long  incarceration  in  a 
hospital  factory  proved  a  far  more  efficient  deterrent 
from  crime  than  a  fine,  which  meant  practically  noth- 
ing to  a  rich  man,  or  to  one  with  friends,  while  im- 
prisonment was  reserved  to  the  indigent.  Even  in  this 
case  it  was  a  farce,  for  by  good  conduct  commutation 
of  life-sentence  might  let  a  man  out  in  a  very  short 


LEGAL  ADMINISTRATION  185 

time;  and,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  such  sentences  proved 
no  deterrent  to  crime,  and  produced  repeatedly  old 
ofifenders.  Nowadays  criminals  were  considered 
material  proper  for  psychological  clinics,  and  none 
could  ever  hope  to  escape  to  any  part  of  the  globe, 
however  distant,  because  of  the  universal  world  union. 
When  I  told  Orchid  how  in  my  days  bank  cashiers 
need  do  nothing  but  take  a  comfortable  Pullman  berth 
to  cross  the  Canadian  frontier  she  was  horrified  at  our 
immorality,  and  emphasized  for  me  the  insanity  of  in- 
dividualism. While  therefore  criminals  could  not 
escape  anywhere,  nevertheless  efforts  to  turn  over  a 
new  leaf  elsewhere  were  most  zealously  promoted. 

Among  judicial  methods  of  my  day  that  had  now 
disappeared  was  the  jury  trial,  whose  miscarriages  of 
justice  were  so  frequent  and  grotesque  that  they  fur- 
nished the  plot  of  numerous  magazine  stories  and 
summer  novels. 

In  my  day  the  chief  qualification  for  a  juror  was  that 
he  must  be  an  ignoramus;  and  indeed,  the  majority 
were.  Frequently  expensive  trials  had  to  be  repeated 
over  and  over  because  some  one  juror  got  sick,  or 
some  one  who  was  obstinate  or  worse  hindered  unanim- 
ity. When  they  did  work  according  to  their  conscience 
they  would  be  scolded  like  school-boys  by  the  judge. 
The  theory  was  beautiful,  and  as  such  it  had  survived; 
but  jury  trials  were  optional,  at  the  discretion  of  the 
judges.  Unanimity  was  no  longer  required,  and  their 
decisions  had  only  advisory  force.  In  this  way  all  its 
good  points  were  retained,  without  ever  being  allowed 
to  interfere  with  substantial  justice. 

Nothing  worth  while  had  been  eliminated.  They  had 
retained  habeas  corpus  proceedings,  and  every  safe- 
guard for  the  presumption  of  innocence,  and  the 
defense  of  the  individual.  Moreover,  the  many  social 
organizations  of  my  day  had  become  semi-legalized,  so 
that  in  any  miscarriage  of  justice  public-spirited  citi- 


186     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

zens  would  at  once   have  a  recognized  voice  in   the 
readjudication  of  the  case. 

Orchid  and  I  had  so  much  to  give  each  other,  she 
in  modern  improvements,  and  I  in  the  practices  of  the 
Greeks  and  Romans,  that  we  developed  in  the  matter 
a  genuine  interest,  which  consists,  as  is  well  known,  of 
"seeing  the  new  in  the  old,  and  the  old  in  the  new." 
What  inspired  us  most,  however,  was  when  we  raised 
the  discussion  of  these  earthly  conditions  into  that  of 
the  kingdom  of  heaven,  whose  basic  principles  must 
ever  remain  the  human  normative  ideals.  I  even  gave 
Orchid  an  account  of  such  books  as  St.  Augustine's 
City  of  God,  and  Alulford's  Republic  of  God.  In  this 
both  of  us  acknowledged  that  the  ideal  must  ever 
hover  above  and  inspire  and  guide  the  real,  so  that 
any  institution  whatever,  however  perfect  it  may  be, 
would  be  deprived  of  its  best  possibiHties  if  it  were 
considered  perfect  or  final.  Such  a  conception  could 
exist  only  in  a  dead  state,  or  this  would  preclude  any 
growth  of  young  people,  or  development  among  vari- 
ous nations  and  races  of  the  earth,  not  to  mention  dis- 
coveries, or  cataclysms  of  nature.  We  realized  that  no 
codification  of  laws,  like  that  of  Manu,  Lycurgus, 
Justinian,  or  Napoleon  can  be  of  more  than  temporary 
significance;  and  that  the  crystallization  of  a  law  auto- 
matically makes  it  obsolete,  if  the  state  is  still  to  grow. 


EPISODE  THIRD 
SOUTH  AMERICA  OF  THE  FUTURE 


CHAPTER  XIX 

FLIGHT 

It  was  about  the  fifth  of  November  when  we  received 
the  news  of  the  decision  of  my  law-suit.  Instead  of  a 
victory  for  either  party,  the  court  terminated  the  affair 
in  the  interest  of  democratic  civiHzation,  by  confiscat- 
ing this  last  accumulation  of  private  capital,  with  a 
lecture  to  both  parties,  emphasizing  that  the  old  proverb 
about  "money  being  the  root  of  all  evil"  had  in  this 
matter  been  once  more  justified  by  the  bitterness 
aroused  by  this  difference  between  both  parties,  who 
had  revealed  themselves  most  unworthily.  As  I  was 
not  mercenary,  and  would  myself  probably  not  have 
profited  thereby,  I  was  the  least  concerned  by  this  un- 
favorable outcome.  As  to  the  museum  authorities,  I 
cared  nothing,  especially  since  Lilac's  death,  which 
broke  all  personal  ties  between  us.  I  was  soon  en- 
lightened as  to  how  much  gratitude  they,  not  to 
mention  Dr.  Policiver,  deserved. 

That  very  evening,  as  Orchid  and  I  were  sitting  in 
the  gloaming,  looking  over  the  ocean,  the  latter  came 
out  of  his  room  in  a  very  business-like  way.  With  a 
sneering  expression,  and  in  crisp  sentences,  he  an- 
nounced that  he  and  Orchid  were  leaving  in  the 
morning. 


188     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

The  latter  uttered  a  cry  of  dismay ;  but  at  once  she 
repressed  it  and  grew  pale.  Her  suffering  stirred  me, 
to  the  fury  of  a  lamb.  At  least  I  turned  on  him  and 
demanded  knowledge  of  what  power  he  held  over  her. 
Why  could  she  not  stay  with  me,  even  if  he  desired 
to  abandon  me? 

"Because  she  is  my  wife !"  stabbed  he  brutally.  "Do 
you  suppose  that  I  have  been  caring  for  you  because 
of  any  talents  or  charms  of  yours?  Ever  since  my 
childhood  I  have  seen  you  sleeping  like  a  log  in  the 
museum,  knowing  that  you  had  deprived  me  of  the 
inheritance  that  was  mine  by  right ;  for  I  am  the  eldest 
descendant  of  Mrs.  Parker." 

"Cease!  Be  still!"  in  vain  pleaded  Orchid,  blushing 
furiously.  "If  you  go  on,  I  must  leave;  I  cannot 
stand  it!" 

"Do  not  stand  it !"  growled  he.  "I  am  tired  of  hav- 
ing my  wife  acting  as  servant  to  a  museum  freak." 

"Your  wife?"  blazed  I.  "I  thought  she  was  your 
sister!" 

"We  wanted  you  to  think  so!"  laughed  he;  "and  you 
did!" 

Then  I  understood  why  Orchid  had  been  in  his 
power;  why  she  could  not  face  me  during  the  revela- 
tion; and  on  reflection,  why  he  had  wanted  her  to  do 
so !  They  had  also  wanted  to  hold  me  by  my  affections, 
and  it  was  surely  not  his  fault  if  she  had  succeeded. 
Now  that  my  money  was  gone,  and  there  was  nothing 
more  to  lose,  he  did  not  hesitate  to  make  the  revela- 
tion; in  fact,  he  insisted  on  doing  so,  to  free  his  wife 
from  my  influence.  As  I  was  of  no  further  account, 
they  would  leave  me  to  my  fate.  —  But  what  was  that 
fate  to  be? 

With  a  sniff  of  scorn,  Dr.  Policiver  turned  to  leave 
me.  I  begged  him  to  stay  a  moment  to  give  me  some 
advice.  He  sat  down  with  a  bored  expression.  It  seems 
that  I  was  to  receive  from  the  state  an  ample  pension 


FLIGHT  189 

for  the  rest  of  my  life,  which  they  did  not  expect  to 
last  very  long.  I  might  find  out  from  the  chief  admin- 
istrator of  the  town,  whom  it  would  be  well  for  me  to 
consult  at  once.  I  asked  Dr.  Policiver  what  he  knew 
of  the  intentions  of  the  museum  authorities  towards 
me ;  I  knew  I  had  not  much  to  expect  from  them,  for 
they  had  been  entirely  mercenary ;  and  Lilac's  death 
must  have  embittered  them,  besides.  As  Dr.  Policiver 
was  very  inimical  to  them,  he  might,  out  of  spite,  warn 
me  against  them. 

He  did.  He  explained  that  as  they  had  nothing  more 
to  gain  from  me  alive,  they  might  try  to  do  so  from 
me  dead ;  especially  as  they  already  possessed  all  the 
documents  and  mementos  of  my  living  self,  or  to  use 
my  body  for  scientific  experiment,  before  or  after  my 
demise.  It  seems  that  some  such  proposal  had  already 
been  suggested  by  some  curious  person,  in  a  local 
ward-meeting.  "A  pleasant  prospect !"  sneered  my 
tormentor,  as  he  turned  to  leave. 

"One  moment  more,  for  the  love  of  heaven!" 
pleaded  I. 

"Well,  what  is  it?"  fairly  snarled  he. 

With  a  prayer  for  divine  assistance,  I  pled,  "Have 
mercy  on  Orchid.  Twice  she  saved  my  life  by  offer- 
ing her  own  life-blood,  and  I  cannot  do  anything  to 
show  my  gratitude   ..." 

He  thundered.  "Do  not  worry.  She  does  not  care 
for  you  any  more  than  I.  You  are  the  most  gullible 
individual  I  ever  met !  You  were  conceited  enough 
to  think  the  museum  cared  for  you  personally,  and 
now  you  think  Orchid  saved  you  for  yourself.  She 
saved  you  because  I  made  her  serve  my  financial  pros- 
pects; and  that  is  all." 

"But  you  say  she  is  your  wife !" 

"What  do  I  care?  The  sooner  I  am  rid  of  her,  the 
sooner  I  can  get  another,  and  one  that  will  serve  me 
more  loyally.    I  wish  you  luck !" 


190     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

With  such  a  monster  there  was  nothing  to  do.  He 
had  gone  anyway.  But  what  about  poor  Orchid?  I 
had  to  leave  her  in  God's  hands. 

As  to  myself,  I  had  never  been  entirely  alone  in  the 
new  age.  Ever  some  gracious  woman  had  stood 
between  me  and  the  stern  realities  of  the  world,  modern 
and  humanitarian  though  they  were.  Now  I  must  not 
only  shift  for  myself,  but  I  must  evade  plots  of  influ- 
ential enemies.  This  was  real  loneliness,  such  as  that 
of  a  dinosaur  waking  up  in  an  age  of  Browning  socie- 
ties, or  of  a  cave  man  meeting  with  an  aeroplane ;  and 
yet  how  long  I  had  boasted  of  being  a  light-bringer  of 
the  "nineteenth  century  and  after!"  However,  I  felt 
assured  of  my  sanity,  because  I  bore  with  me  two 
gracious  memories :  Orchid,  the  eternal  passionate 
feminine,  and  Lilac,  the  angel.  Still  neither  of  them 
could  I  ever  again  meet ;  I  must  do  them  credit  by  find- 
ing my  way  successfully;  I  must  demonstrate  that  I 
belonged  to  this  age  by  coping  with  all  its  dangers. 

Orchid  I  did  not  see  next  morning,  —  was  she 
ashamed  of  the  vile  uses  to  which  she  had  been  put, 
of  the  contempt  in  which  her  tormentor  held  her,  or 
was  she  forbidden  ?  However,  I  afterwards  found  a  note 
under  my  pillow,  and  I  read  it  through  a  mist  of  tears 
and  with  palpitation  of  the  heart.  Evidently  tragedy 
still  haunted  humanity. 

"Friend,  think  of  me  as  well  as  you  can.  Remember  my 
good  deeds,  and  forget  the  evil,  if  any;  although  it  is  rather 
myself  who  would  forget  them.  My  duties  have  been  my  lode- 
stars; and  when  they  have  conflicted,  it  was  I  who  paid  the  bills. 
That  they  clashed,  was  my  fate.  You  may  forgive  me  for  any 
apparent  disloyalty,  remembering  how  much  I  am  to  be  pitied, 
and  that  the  shame  that  keeps  me  from  you  is  the  feeling  that 
should  most  recommend  me  to  you.  What  pains  me  is  that  I 
twice  risked  my  life  for  you,  at  the  behest  of  one  who  scorned 
me  enough  to  expose  me  to  it  for  his  own  base  purposes.  But 
I  beg  you  will  believe  that  I  would  not  have  done  it,  except 
out  of  sympathetic  kindliness  for  you;  otherwise  I  would  not 
have  done,  what  in  modern  times  you  could  not  have  got 
anyone  else  to  do.     Though  1  began  to  profit  by  you,  never- 


FLIGHT  191 

theless  out  of  pity  I  continued  to  save  you.  If  I  continue  under 
the  power  of  the  husband  who  scorns  me,  it  is  not  that  I  fear 
him,  but  because  though  he  does  not  know  it,  he  needs  me; 
and  this  is  my  mission,  my  cross,  my  opportunity.  The 
memories  of  the  pleasant  hours  we  have  spent  together  are 
inalienable,  and  no  doubt  helped  both.  I  recommend  you  to  the 
mercy  of  the  God  whose  minister  you  are.  In  prayer  at  least 
we  may  meet;  and  in  time  perhaps  we  may  see  each  other 
again.  Which  of  us  most  needs  prayer,  I  do  not  know.  Happy 
are  those  whose  careers  are  single,  whose  head  and  heart  are 
not  divided,  who  are  not  torn  between  higher  and  lower  duties. 
You  are  fortunate,  for  you  have  but  one:  that  is,  to  survive. 
By  undivided  prayer,  therefore,  you  should  succeed.  That  is 
my  wish  for  you!  —  Orchid." 

When  I  had  done  reading,  I  revered  her;  such  power 
has  self-sacrifice.  Why  should  I  fault  her  for  not 
solving  an  insoluble  situation?  Hers  was  one  of  those 
puzzle-destinies  that  must  be  worked  out  by  rule  of 
thumb,  by  doing  the  next  daily  duty,  praying  for  the 
daily  guidance,  leaving  the  future  to  God.  Perhaps, 
indeed,  that  is  also  the  case  with  the  world's  incredibly 
confused  and  complicated  issues,  and  the  reason  why 
God  does  not  seem  to  be  able  to  settle  questions  as 
rapidly  and  as  clearly  as  we  would  like. 

At  any  rate,  she  had  given  me  the  golden  key  to  my 
situation,  prayer.  She  had  also  pointed  out  to  me  my 
duty,  to  survive. 

The  latter  I  recognized  to  be  one,  because  it  did 
not  harmonize  with  my  inclinations.  Only  the  most 
unthinking  tigers  and  rattle-snakes  really  insist  on 
surviving;  an  unselfish  disposition  is  the  most  ready 
to  resign  its  existence.  Our  life  must  be  something 
infinitely  more  precious  than  we  can  understand,  for 
God's  most  salient  characteristic  is  that  of  being  the 
comforter.  Elijah  on  Horeb  had  no  desire  to  live,  but 
was  by  the  Inner  Voice  compelled  to  continue  promot- 
ing God's  kingdom.  So  I  also  must  go  on  surviving, 
not  for  myself,  but  for  ends  beyond  my  ken ;  and  if  I 
lived  for  those  purposes,  it  was  only  fair  to  assume 
that   I   would   be   supported   by   the   Unseen   Powers 


192     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

behind  those  purposes?  That  is  why  faith  is  founded 
on  unselfishness;  and  that  yields  peace,  even  in  the 
lion's  den. 

If  survival  was  my  duty,  the  means  to  it  was  prayer; 
the  result  was  guidance  in  the  feet,  if  not  in  the  head. 
Clear  vision  is  not  always  necessary,  and  perhaps  not 
always  possible;  for  our  destiny  may  depend  on  other 
people's  yet  future  feelings,  intellections,  and  decisions. 
But  to  the  next  step's  guidance  we  have  a  right. 

After  the  carriage  of  my  late  protectors  had  dis- 
appeared, I  roused  myself  to  take  this  next  step.  I 
went  to  seek  the  director  of  my  ward-meeting,  in  the 
next  town,  and  I  laid  my  case  before  him.  He  com- 
municated with  San  Francisco,  and  found  that  by  the 
court  I  had  been  granted  a  handsome  life-pension.  On 
the  first  day  of  each  month  (which,  for  astronomical 
reasons,  corresponded  with  our  ancient  twenty-second), 
I  would  receive  a  credit  booklet  made  up  of  coupons 
representing  a  sum  which  I  could  spend  in  any  way  I 
preferred.  My  allowance  was  double  the  usual  amount, 
as  was  done  for  the  sick,  who  might  need  special  care. 
To  avoid  malingering  in  most  cases,  this  entailed 
weekly  medical  observation;  to  which  indeed  I  did  not 
object,  as  it  was  to  my  direct  advantage. 

After  purchasing  provisions  I  returned  home,  as  I 
called  the  now  empty  cabin,  and  which  I  was  permitted 
to  continue  inhabiting  at  least  until  the  end  of  the 
month  under  the  lease  granted  to  the  Policivers,  who 
had  abandoned  it.  There,  for  several  days,  I  faced  my 
situation  as  completely  as  I  could.  I  decided  that  I 
must  leave  North  America  at  once,  before  the  museum 
party  could  lay  hold  of  me,  and  have  me  interned  any- 
where. Lilac  was  gone,  and  Orchid  was  beyond  my 
reach,  even  if  I  had  remained  in  her  proximity.  Indeed 
I  might  only  be  complicating  her  sufficiently  troubled 
life. 

One  year  of  existence,  at  least,  remained  at  my  dis- 


FLIGHT  193 

posal,  in  which  to  form  new  relations.  These  would 
be  much  more  easily  made  in  new  surroundings,  where 
my  pitiable  story  might  not  be  property  so  common. 
While  of  course  the  public  news  service  daily  covered 
the  whole  world,  yet  local  news  was  confined  to  its 
own  locality :  provincial  to  its  province,  national  to 
the  nation,  and  continental  to  its  continent.  While 
for  purposes  of  identification,  a  world  card-index 
located  in  the  world-capital  in  Asia  Minor,  no  doubt 
retained  all  the  facts  of  my  career,  yet  in  a  different 
continent  I  would  have  an  at  least  greater  opportunity 
of  beginning  a  new  local,  provincial,  national,  and 
even  semi-continental  career. 

Such  fresh  opportunities  were  well  recognized  in 
modern  times.  In  the  German  police  card-index  system 
of  my  day,  there  was  no  such  loop-hole  of  mercy. 
After  fourteen  years  of  age,  attendance  on  the  gym- 
nasium irrevocably  decided  a  child's  career.  To  his 
dying  day,  if  a  boy  committed  an  indiscretion,  it  per- 
manently remained  chalked  up  against  him ;  and  a 
failure  in  any  profession  entailed  a  life  of  disgrace  and 
dependency.  This  indeed  was  the  nearest  human 
approach  to  a  day  of  judgment.  But  it  neglected  the 
equally  true  and  important  element  of  mercy.  Now 
this  mercy  is  not  only  a  divine  trait,  but  good  business 
for  the  race,  inasmuch  as  the  failures  in  one  profes- 
sion may  be,  and  often  are  the  geniuses  in  another. 
Now  the  world  in  some  way  or  another  made  use  of 
all  of  its  elements;  and  "good  for  nothings"  were 
practically  an  obsolete  tradition. 

After  all  this  curative  aspect  of  change  is  not  only 
of  divine  authority  —  "when  they  persecute  you  in 
one  city,  flee  ye  to  another,"  —  but  well  recognized  for 
valetudinarian,  social  and  amusement  reasons,  —  the 
climate  invites  to  northern  residence  in  summer,  and 
southern  in  winter,  —  as  the  birds  have  long  since 
suggested.     In  modern  times,  at  least,  this  migration 


194      A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

is  recognized  as  a  duty;  not  as  a  single  event,  as  the 
Mecca  or  Jerusalem  pilgrimage  of  medieval  times,  but 
an  annual  sanifying  treatment. 

If  I  was  to  survive,  I  would  have  to  form  new  rela- 
tions of  a  nature  such  as  would  induce  some  person 
to  ofifer  his  life-blood  for  transfusion;  and  if  this  was 
to  occur  at  all,  it  would  have  to  be  under  auspices  that 
were  friendly;  certainly  not  here,  where,  so  far  as  I 
could  ascertain,  enemies  were  waiting  to  torment  me. 
It  would  be  better  therefore  to  take  the  fortune  of  the 
unknown,  which  in  any  case,  even  if  I  was  to  gain  no 
further  respite  from  dissolution,  would  yield  me 
twelve  months'  observation  of  another  civilization. 

As  rapidly  as  possible,  therefore,  I  had  to  make  the 
best  possible  preparations.  By  redeeming  the  furniture 
I  got  some  money  to  help  me  on  my  trip.  Within  a 
few  days  I  departed,  taking  with  me  one  of  those  small 
amphibious  tricycle  motor  cars  which  would  give  me 
the  maximum  of  freedom,  with  the  minimum  of 
responsibility.  I  took  no  baggage,  leaving  my  precious 
manuscripts  of  the  Modernized  Mysteries  and  other 
notes  of  my  recent  career  in  a  municipal  storage  ware- 
house in  Los  Angeles,  condensing  all  my  belongings 
in  preparation  for  extensive  travels. 


CHAPTER  XX 
THE  INTERNATIONAL  LANGUAGE 

My  first  decision  was  to  take  the  air  route  to  South 
America.  I  could,  no  doubt,  have  motored  along  the 
inter-continental  highway;  but  in  the  first  place  speed 
was  of  prime  importance;  then,  for  distances  so  great, 
this  means  of  locomotion  seemed  inadvisable;  and  in 
spite  of  the  perfection  of  both  roads  and  machinery 
I  might  have  break-downs,  and  those  in  countries  un- 
familiar to  me.  Then  I  might  have  chosen  the  inter- 
continental railroad;  but  that  was  used  mainly  for 
freight,  and  local  passenger  travel.  So  I  chose  the 
air-route. 

Another  consideration  weighed  with  me :  my  health. 
While  yellow  fever  had  even  in  my  day  been  cleaned 
out  of  Havana,  the  tropics  had  not  yet  been  entirely 
hygienized.  There  still  lurked  malarial  and  dysenteric 
disorders.  Their  eradication  was  yet  one  of  the  tasks 
of  Pan-American  authorities,  and  in  this  direction 
much  progress  had  been  made;  but  the  task  itself  was 
admittedly  one  of  the  most  superhuman  in  the  world. 
It  implied  the  digging  of  artesian  wells  everywhere, 
the  extermination  of  not  only  the  anopheles,  but  of 
other  forms  of  vermin  also,  and  the  accurate  study  of 
more  recently  identified  diseases,  such  as,  for  instance, 
affected  one  of  the  ex-presidents  of  the  United  States, 
who  explored  the  Brazilian  River  of  Doubt,  Probably 
the  most  praiseworthy  actions  of  one  of  the  American. 

I9S 


196     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

trust  bandits  had  been  a  promising-  world-wide  cam- 
paign for  the  eradication  of  hook-worm  disease,  which 
to  a  great  extent  had  underlain  the  ineffective  in- 
dolence of  Southern  races.  This  had  indeed  been  one 
of  the  corner-stones  of  the  progress  of  South  America; 
and  while  the  younger  continent  had  outstripped  the 
elder,  yet  it  was  to  the  elder  that  the  progress  was 
originally  due. 

After  having  made  all  arrangements,  I  made  sure 
of  all  necessary  documents :  my  pension  order,  my 
matrimonial  school  certificate,  my  credit  booklet, 
paper  for  sketches  and  notes,  and  a  map  of  the  world. 
Then  I  secured  passage  on  the  regular  weekly  inter- 
continental air-plane  that  stopped  at  Los  Angeles,  and 
went  on  south  via  Mexico,  Guatemala,  Nicaragua, 
Costa  Rica,  Panama  and  Colombia,  landing  at  Bogota. 
The  latter  had  become  of  great  importance  as  the 
switch  for  west  and  east  coast  routes.  The  former 
went  on  down  the  coast  through  Ecuador,  Peru, 
Bolivia,  and  Chile  on  to  Punta  Arenas.  The  eastern 
was  the  longer  line,  through  Venezuela  and  the 
Guianas  past  the  mouths  of  the  Amazon  to  Para,  Per- 
nambuco,  Bahia,  Porto  Alegre,  to  Rio  de  Janeiro,  and 
continuing  down  to  Buenos  Aires.  On  the  way  I  had 
carried  out  my  purpose  of  conversing  with  my  fellow- 
passengers  about  the  southern  continent,  and  getting 
suggestions  about  my  future  course. 

It  was  inevitable  for  me  to  compare  the  two  parts 
of  the  continent,  the  northern  and  southern ;  but  what 
took  away  my  breath  was  to  have  to  acknowledge 
that  the  northern  was  the  poorer  and  least  progressive 
of  the  two.  While  in  the  former  century  a  great  deal' 
of  civilization  had  been  established  at  the  north,  its 
forest  and  mineral  resources  had  been  criminally 
wasted,  due  to  the  unrestricted  plundering  of  private 
corporations.  The  remaining  resources  were  indeed 
husbanded  and  restored  by  municipalization  and  fed- 


THE  INTERNATIONAL  LANGUAGE     197 

eralization;  but  it  was  already  too  late.  On  the  con- 
trary, South  America  was  socialized  (municipally,  by 
states,  and  as  a  continent),  before  this  devastation  had 
really  depleted  the  national  resources;  which,  because 
of  the  equatorial  productiveness,  were  relatively 
greater  than  the  northern ;  so  that  in  the  long-  run  the 
southern  half,  being  the  richer,  became  the  better 
equipped,  and  finally  entirely  outstripped  the  former. 

The  second  most  interesting  reflection  on  the  con- 
versation of  the  natives  was  the  advantage  of  co-opera- 
tion. In  the  past,  at  the  beginning  of  the  development 
of  the  southern  nationalities,  those  naturally  separated 
whose  interests  differed,  while  those  whose  interests 
approximated,  united.  Mountain-countries  like  Peru 
and  Bolivia  separated  from  the  fertile  jungle-plains  of 
Brazil.  Chile,  a  coast  and  mountain  country  opposed 
a  nation  developing  pampas,  or  flat  lands,  like  Argen- 
tine. What  was  the  result?  Chile  needed  grain  and 
cattle,  which  was  imported  from  the  north  and  west, 
while  Argentine  needed  minerals  and  coal,  which  were 
imported  from  Europe.  Since  the  federalization  of  the 
continent,  the  Transandean  railroad  was  made  prac- 
tical, and  both  countries  support  each  other's  needs, 
eliminating  all  the  former  long-range  transportation. 
The  same,  though  in  a  more  strictly  modern  sense, 
holds  good  of  Bolivia  and  Brazil.  Bolivia,  being  at 
so  great  an  altitude,  can  supply  unlimited  air-power 
for  carrying  out  the  agricultural  exploitation  of  the 
Amazon  valley,  which  before  had  remained  inactive 
for  lack  of  coal  power.  In  this  way  all  the  South 
American  countries,  instead  of  opposing  each  other, 
form  a  complete  whole,  with  the  result  that  the  south- 
ern has  outstripped  its  northern  rival,  which,  however, 
had  a  much  earlier  start,  and  that  chiefly  because  of 
earlier  unification,  or  socialization.  "United  we  stand, 
divided   we   fall." 

The  Pan-American  capital,  of  course,  was  Panama, 


198      A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

whose  very  name  suggested  this.  For  South  America 
Bogota,  where  I  was,  was  the  junction  point  for  North 
America,  and  the  seat  of  all  specialized  industries,  as 
well  as  a  sort  of  information  bureau.  Here  my  problem 
was  which  coast  line  would  I  follow.  This  decision 
had  to  be  reasoned  out  according  to  my  needs.  On 
the  western  coast  I  would  not  find  a  great  variety  of 
conditions,  and  my  presence  would  easily  be  detected. 
On  the  north-eastern  coast  the  same  held  good.  Con- 
sequently I  took  the  direct  air  mail-plane  diagonally 
across  the  continent  to  Rio  de  Janeiro,  which,  as  a' 
metropolitan  centre,  would  of  course  afford  me  a 
greater  variety  of  opportunities  than  any  mere  country 
place,  where  gossip  is  rampant.  Then  I  imagined 
that  I  should  find  myself  more  at  home  in  a  city,  as 
I  had  all  my  life-time  haunted  the  centres  of  popula- 
tion. In  a  city  my  personality  would  raise  the  least 
comment,  and  there  I  could  best  master  the  language 
problem. 

These  considerations  seeming  decisive,  I  embarked 
on  the  first  plane.  While  of  course  these  aeros  were 
sometimes  delayed  by  atmospheric  conditions,  never- 
theless their  schedules  were  pretty  well  supported,  and 
one  was  ahvays  kept  in  reserve,  to  continue  the  sail- 
ings in  case  of  accident.  The  motors  had  been  so 
improved  that  they  were  nearly  silent,  and  rarely 
missed  fire ;  an  equilibrating  apparatus  made  them  as 
nearly  fool-proof  as  in  the  nature  of  things  could  be 
expected.  Passengers,  however,  were  expected  to 
refrain  from  sudden  and  unnecessary  movements,  and 
their  attention  was  distracted  by  mechanical  music 
played  for  them.  They  carried  sufficient  parachutes 
to  insure  the  safety  of  the  passengers.  They  had 
established  themselves,  while  the  lighter  than  air-ships 
never  proved  a  success,  their  inevitable  size  exposing 
them  to  chance  air-currents  contrary  to  the  desired 
course. 


THE  INTERNATIONAL  LANGUAGE     199 

When  I  arrived  in  Rio,  I  found  that  the  architectural 
features  still  showed  the  benefits  of  the  municipal 
supervision  evident  in  my  own  day;  it  was  a  sort  of 
modernized  Paris,  chastened  by  American  neatness 
and  practicality.  At  Bogota  I  had  always  been  able 
to  find  sufficient  English-speaking  people  to  carry  on 
the  conversation,  and  so  was  comparatively  at  home; 
but  here  the  difference  of  language  compelled  me  to 
realize  I  was  in  a  foreign  country.  In  California  I  had 
of  course  heard  of  the  international  language,  but  as 
I  had  had  no  need  of  it,  I  had  paid  no  heed  to  it. 
Here,  however,  I  understood  that  I  must  bestir  myself 
and  complete  my  modern  education  by  mastering  it. 

I  went  to  the  local  Lincolnian  agent,  formerly 
called  "consul,"  to  present  my  credentials,  and  to  ask 
for  help.  This  was  cheerfully  given,  and  I  was  very 
soon  located  in  a  very  reasonable  travellers'  boarding- 
house,  and  directed  to  a  night-school  language-class 
that  initiated  strangers  into  the  international  idiom. 
The  teacher  was  a  certain  Rose  Determinabash  Sam- 
ericarionos  whose  name  explained  that  she  was  born 
on  the  27th  of  May,  1996,  in  the  South  American  town 
of  Rio,  in  the  south-western  quarter,  in  the  second- 
last  of  its  six  sections  in  the  fourth  ward.  As  I  did 
not  relish  delays,  and  felt  that  my  maturer  years  would 
enable  me  to  master  the  language  quicker,  I  succeeded 
in  getting  her  to  give  me  daily  three  hours  of  instruc- 
tion, in  the  afternoon,  to  clinch  and  prepare  what  I 
studied  in  the  mornings.  I  prevailed  on  her  to  take 
me  on  short  excursions  around  the  town  in  the  eve- 
nings, so  that  during  the  month  of  November  2026, 
I  managed  to  acclimatize  myself. 

While  the  detailed  events  of  this  time  would  not 
prove  of  much  interest,  as  I  purposely  saw  few  if  any 
outside  people,  the  general  outline  of  the  international 
language  may  not  be  useless. 

Why  two  languages,  instead  of  one?    It  has  been 


200     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

said  that  he  who  knows  only  one,  knows  none ;  you 
do  not  understand  your  own  language  until  you  com- 
pare it  with  some  other.  Besides,  such  is  human 
nature  that  even  in  a  single  language  country,  such 
as  the  France  of  my  early  days,  there  was  a  local 
''patois"  beside  the  official  speech.  And  lest  this  be 
blamed  on  old-world  traditions,  even  in  the  United 
States,  beside  the  Bostonese  jargon,  there  was  negro 
dialect,  creole  speech,  cowboy  talk,  and  Chicago  dic- 
tion,— not  to  mention  the  Kentucky  ''colonel's"  "you- 
alls."  In  Cairo,  there  were  as  many  kinds  of  Arabic 
as  there  were  suburbs;  and  in  Paris  the  polished  dic- 
tion of  the  Halles  differed  entirely  from  the  salons  in 
the  Faubourg  St.  Germain.  Even  in  books  there  was 
a  familiar  and  a  formal  French  or  English ;  the  familiar 
and  intimate,  and  the  more  correct  official  forms.  In 
Lincolnia  there  was  the  baseball  lingo,  the  sports 
dialect,  the  golf  gibberish,  and  so  forth,  not  forgetting 
the  Bible  diction.  In  a  living  language,  therefore,  the 
attempt  to  have  none  but  a  single  form  of  expression 
is  vain.  To  have  but  one  single  exclusive  universal 
language,  therefore,  would  be  as  impossible  as  un- 
desirable. 

To  begin  with,  family  traditions  imply  the  language 
of  their  ancestors;  and  good  literature  is  untranslat- 
able. Each  race  should  take  pride  in  its  greatest 
authors.  The  English  neither  would  nor  should  lose 
the  language  of  Shakespeare,  Milton  and  Tennyson. 
The  French  could  not  forget  the  tongue  of  Corneille, 
Racine  or  Victor  Hugo ;  and  so  on  with  all  the  other 
idioms.  Indeed,  so  long  as  the  human  mind  is  civilized, 
it  will  want  to  read  Goethe,  Dante,  not  to  mention 
the  ethnic  bibles,  in  their  originals.  French  prose 
poetry  and  religion  are  untranslatable.  The  Romanist 
church  saw  that,  and  attempted  to  stem  the  progress 
of  humanity  by  prolonging  the  vogue  of  Latin;  but 
the   stars  in  their  courses  fought  against  them;  and 


THE  INTERNATIONAL  LANGUAGE     201 

they  had  made  the  fundamental  error  of  prolonging 
the  language  of  the  Roman  empire,  instead  of  the 
Hebrew  and  Greek  of  the  originals  of  the  Bible. 
Besides,  in  a  republic,  or  democracy,  everybody  should 
be  permitted  the  freedom  of  his  speech,  so  long  as  he 
is  not  excluded  from  the  great  international  bond  of 
sanity.  Therefore  in  the  modern  states  the  old  lan- 
guages have  not  died  out,  but  every  person  is,  in 
addition,  familiar  with  the  universal  international 
speech,  under  pains  of  being  politically  disfranchised; 
and,  after  a  certain  age,  being  interned  in  an  institu- 
tion for  defectives;  for  the  religion  of  democracy 
would  demand  a  new  religious  language,  one  in  which 
Eskimo,  Bushman  and  mountaineer  could  join. 

The  need  for  a  universal  language  is  too  great  and 
well-known  to  bear  repetition.  It  is,  however,  not 
generally  realized  that  every  race  has  treasured  its 
own  language  to  some  extent  under  the  delusion  that 
its  own  vernacular  was  destined  to  become  the  uni- 
versal medium  of  communication.  In  my  early  days 
I  personally  remembered  such  beliefs  in  France,  Eng- 
land, Germany,  Italy  and  Russia.  The  pre-Babelite 
tradition  of  such  a  tongue  was  spread  by  the  Bible, 
and  the  philologers  seconded  it  by  insisting  on  the 
Sanscrit  Indo-European  source  of  most  of  our  cultured 
idioms.  Then  after  the  disappearance  of  Latin  the 
Romanist  church  kept  alive  such  a  tradition  by  the 
language  of  its  ritual ;  and  since  that  time  French  had 
been  used  as  the  universal  language  of  diplomacy,  and 
as  the  official  medium  of  the  universal  postal  union. 

Why  should  not  such  an  artificial  language  as  Vol- 
apuk,  Esperanto,  or  Ro  have  prevailed?  Because  they 
had  no  literature,  no  clientele,  and  no  authority.  Why, 
of  all  nationals  in  the  world,  should  a  Pole  impose 
cacophonous  sounds  and  complicated  characters  on 
more  refined  and  civilized  nations? 

The  choice  of  an  international  language  must  there- 


202      A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

fore  have  lain  between  the  great  cultured  languages 
already  established.  Was  it  to  be  English,  French, 
German,  Italian  or  Spanish  ?  Now  it  actually  became 
not  so  much  a  question  of  choice,  as  one  of  the  devel- 
opments of  events  after  the  world-war  for  democracy. 
Russian  was  condemned  by  its  shameful  collapse,  its 
barbarous  alphabet,  its  multiplicity  of  sounds  hard  to 
distinguish  and  pronounce,  its  relatively  unimportant 
literature,  and  its  being  limited  to  its  own  people  or 
to  their  exploiters.  German  was  condemned  by  the 
imperial  military  failure,  the  world-wide  hate  aroused 
against  tyranny  and  its  atrocities,  not  to  mention  the 
difficult  Gothic  letters,  the  many  irregular  verbs,  the 
strong  and  weak  declensions,  the  inverted  and  trans- 
posed word-orders,  the  bristling  capitals,  and  the  in- 
choate sentences,  in  spite  of  its  wonderful  agglutinative 
power.  English  failed  for  several  reasons :  its  ridiculous 
orthography,  which  remained  a  monstrosity  in  spite  of 
the  public  efforts  of  a  United  States  president;  its 
inverted  word-order  after  ''whose"  and  "how?",  its  in- 
definiteness,  and  the  multiplicity  of  its  undistinguish- 
able  vowels.  Italian  never  stood  much  of  a  chance, 
because  of  the  opposition  of  the  Romanist  church,  the 
weakness  of  its  world-influence,  and  the  remainders 
of  Latin  crabbedness  in  accidence.  Spanish  was  well 
known  in  South  America,  except  Brazil,  and  had  a 
wonderful  literature,  but  it  was  not  universahzed 
because  of  the  political  weakness  of  its  home  country, 
and  its  leanings  to  autocracy.  There  remained  there- 
fore but  one  possibility :  French,  which  besides  its 
famous  literature,  was  already  the  most  officially  rec- 
ognized international  language,  diplomatically  and 
postally,  and  in  the  Levant  and  in  Russian  polite 
society.  Then  France's  own  misfortunes  in  the  world- 
war  taught  it  to  the  foreign  defending  soldiers,  who 
returned  to  Italy,  Russia,  Portugal,  Brazil,  Australia, 
New   Zealand,    Argentine,    and   Africa.     Besides,    the 


THE  INTERNATIONAL  LANGUAGE     203 

French  Revolution  and  establishment  of  a  republic, 
together  with  the  "Marseillaise''  hymn,  had  spread  it 
to  every  progressive  country. 

Another  important  decisive  factor  was  the  ease  of 
learning.  English,  next  to  Chinese,  which  also  was 
in  the  analytic  stage,  was  the  most  difficult  language 
to  learn.  The  German  verbs  and  declensions  and 
order  condemned  that  language.  Spanish  had  certain 
distinctions  like  "''ser^  and  "cstar;^  and  Italian  many 
syntactical  difficulties.  French  was  not  only  easier, 
but  had  been  made  so.  The  nasals  had  been  dropped, 
and  the  three  '''(f'  sounds  united  into  one.  The  '''oP 
was  spelt  as  pronounced,  "^iva/'  and  the  letters  c,  g, 
k,  and  t  had  but  one  single  sound  apiece;  this  had 
been  effected  not  merely  by  spelling  reform,  but  by 
keeping  the  same  sound  all  through  the  same  verb  for 
c  or  g.  The  irregular  verbs  had  been  forcedly  reg- 
ularized. The  agreement  of  the  past  participle  was 
of  course  destroyed,  along  with  meme,  tout,  quelque, 
and  all  adjectives.  There  were  no  more  irregular  plural 
or  feminine  forms,  and  the  latter  was  no  more  the 
unpronounced  ''e'^  but  the  sounding  ^'a."  The  only 
order-eccentricity,  the  ante-verbal  position  of  the  pro- 
nouns, was  of  course  reduced  to  the  normal  SVO 
order.  What  was  left  was  a  pellucidly  clear,  harmonious 
and  simple  language,  written  exactly  as  pronounced, 
with  all  the  variants  which  Esperanto  had  proposed. 
In  its  favor  was  the  accent  on  the  last  syllable,  the 
easiest  rule  to  follow,  and  the  only  language  of  that 
kind  in  the  world.  It  was  easily  understood  and 
learned  by  the  English  speaking,  because  of  the  latter's 
Latin  roots;  and  it  was  kindred  to  all  the  other  Latin 
tongues,  Italian,  Spanish,  Portuguese,  Roumanian,  and 
all  other  languages  derived   from  the   Sanscrit. 

There  was,  it  seems,  one  interesting  circumstance 
about  the  adoption  of  the  French  as  the  "inter- 
national."   It  was  adopted  chiefly  because  it  was  the 


204     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

onl}^  one  that  had  the  courage  to  achieve  universality 
at  the  heavy  price  of  suiciding,  or  of  improving  itself. 
While  English  had  really  had  more  chances  than  any 
other  languages,  because  of  the  spread  of  the  British 
Empire,  the  American  reluctance,  and  the  English 
refusal  to  reform  itself,  were  fatal.  They  had  rather 
remain  provincial  than  cease  spelling  "enuf"  "enough," 
and  so  on.  No,  they  unblushingly  insisted  on  the 
universe  swallowing  such  monstrosities,  which  of 
course  the  universe  refused  to  do.  But,  as  was  shown 
at  the  time  of  the  first  Revolution,  the  French 
possessed  the  courage  and  heroism  of  self-sacrifice ; 
impelled  by  logic,  they  had  disestablished  superstitions, 
effaced  foolish  heathen  deities  from  their  calendar, 
and  geographized  all  their  countries.  Not  lightly  indeed 
did  they  make  the  above  changes  in  their  language; 
only  with  genuine  sorrow  did  they  part  from  their 
eccentricities;  but  they  did  not  flinch  at  the  scalpel 
when  the  time  came  for  choice,  realizing  that  through 
those  changes,  which  were  genuine  improvements,  they 
would  endow  their  literature  with  immortality,  and 
embalm  democracy  in  the  language  which  had  pro- 
duced it.  So  they  fitted  themselves  for  the  greatest 
reward  open  to  humans  since  the  time  of  the  tower 
of  Babel. 

As  in  the  long  ago  I  had  spoken  French,  this  new 
"international"  was  quite  easy  to  me;  but  I  had  to 
establish  new  habits  of  pronunciation  and  expression, 
particularly  because  of  those  pestiferous  pronouns, 
and  I  began  to  understand  the  difificulties  that  their 
old  orthodox  position  must  have  caused  learners  of 
the  old  French.  But  the  unfailing  patient  persistence 
of  my  teacher  won  the  day,  and  I  was  soon  able  to 
speak  fluently  enough  to  avoid  comment.  Then  to- 
gether we  took  some  sunset  excursions;  and  while 
she  would  hang  back  so  as  to  throw  me  on  my  own 
resources,   though   ready   to   help  in  time  of  need,   I 


THE  INTERNATIONAL  LANGUAGE     205 

would  bravely  tackle  chance  passers-by,  asking  the 
time,  or  the  way,  and  later  make  more  important 
remarks.  Then  my  teacher  would  criticize  my  per- 
formance, and  with  the  next  person  I  would  try  to  do 
better. 

Thus  pleasantly  and  instructively  we  spent  the  eve- 
nings, for  we  visited  the  National  Museum,  with  the 
tree  growing  on  the  left  roof,  the  Sugar  Loaf,  and 
the  famous  panorama  of  the  hunch-back  Corcovado ; 
we  sailed  in  a  small  motor  tricycle  "beira  mar,"  down 
the  Rio  Branco  Avenue  at  the  time  of  the  fashionable 
promenade ;  and  last  to  the  theatre  opposite  the  Art 
Museums;  —  so  I  saw  all  the  sights. 

Later  we  went  up  into  the  Therezopolis  mountains, 
with  the  queer  peak  called  "the  Finger  of  God,"  and 
up  to  Petropolis,  with  its  imperial  memories.  Then 
we  fared  south  to  the  beautiful  suburb  of  Sao  Paolo, 
with  its  snake  farm ;  and  further  on  through  avenues 
of  royal  palm  and  bamboo  to  Santos,  the  coffee  ter- 
minal. 


CHAPTER  XXI 

FARMING  REFORM 

Originally  Rose  was  to  teach  me  only  for  one  week, 
the  evenings  of  which  were  devoted  to  the  city  itself. 
Then  her  help  was  extended  for  another  week,  during 
which  we  visited  the  above  mentioned  neighboring 
sights.  Then  I  was  faced  with  the  problem  of  what 
I  should  do,  for  in  traveling  I  had  used  up  my 
pension  very  fast,  and  I  must  provide  for  the  year  that 
still  remained  ahead  of  me.  Inside  work  did  not 
attract  me,  and  I  doubted  that  my  health  could  stand 
it.  This  sedentary  indoors  labor  gave  too  much  scope 
to  reflections,  which  were  harrowing;  the  death  of 
dear  Lilac,  the  disgrace  of  Orchid,  after  I  twice 
received  life  at  her  hands.  Social  entanglements  were 
repellent  to  me,  and  I  felt  that  as  I  must  die,  I  pre- 
ferred a  serene  sunset,  far  from  the  madding  crowd. 
I  longed  for  the  peaceful  sojourn  in  nature,  feeling 
that,  like  Antaeus,  my  strength  would  be  refreshed  by 
contact  with  the  soil.  I  thought  I  should  enjoy  garden- 
ing, seeing  pretty  and  useful  things  grow. 

Although.  I  hesitated  to  betray  my  real  object,  it 
could  no  longer  escape  the  sympathetic  interest  of  my 
kindly  teacher;  and  while  I  had  planned  merely  to 
keep  my  eyes  open  for  any  vacant  agricultural  oppor- 
tunity, she  suggested  far  more  effective  methods  of 
discovering  what  I  thought.    We  made  a  round  of  all 

the   ward-meeting  intelligence   bureaus,   and   I   finally 

206 


FARMING  REFORM  207 

found  what  I  desired :  a  small  house,  with  a  little 
orchard  and  vegetable  garden. 

Such  a  place  was  rather  difficult  to  find,  for  many 
reasons,  of  which  the  chief  one  was  that  work  in  the 
country  now  was  as  popular  as  in  my  days  it  was  un- 
popular. Then  the  movement  was  towards  the  cities ; 
now  it  was  again  towards  the  country,  where  all  the 
conveniences  of  life  were  to  be  had  as  easily  as  in 
town,  in  addition  to  the  enjoyment  of  nature.  In  my 
days,  of  course,  the  rich  had  already  started  back  to 
the  country;  but  the  upkeep  of  these  country  estates 
amounted  to  fabulous  sums.  Up  to  the  time  of  the 
world-war,  the  popular  movement  was  away  from  the 
cities,  and  statisticians  wrung  their  hands  about  it,  in- 
stead of  doing  something  to  relieve  the  situation.  Of 
course  it  was  none  of  their  business,  and  in  those 
rudimentary  democracies  there  was  nobody  who  cared 
or  who  could  do  anything.  Consequently  the  popula- 
tion continued  to  move,  until  change  of  conditions 
had  reversed  the  advantage  of  living,  and  made  it 
both  more  profitable  and  delightful  to  live  in  the 
country. 

In  my  days  the  lot  of  the  farmer  himself  was  not  so 
bad,  for  at  all  times  he  did  get  to  the  country-town; 
but  his  wife  rarely  did,  and  statistics  showed  that  the 
strain  on  her  was  so  great  that  many  of  them  went 
insane.  To  alleviate  her  lot  she  was  given  vacuum 
cleaners,   electric  washing  machines,   and  ironers. 

Her  husband's  lot  was  alleviated  by  a  greatly  im- 
proved telephone  system.  The  old  familiar  separate 
receivers  and  transmitters,  which  were  the  most  incon- 
venient devices  possible,  and^  kept  up  only  by  the  in- 
terests of  the  greedy  private  monopolies,  had  long 
since  disappeared  before  the  combined  instrument.  To 
enjoy  the  telephone  lectures  and  concerts  it  was 
only  necessary  to  fix  over  the  head  an  adjustable 
receiver,  similar  to  that  used  by  switchboard  operators, 


208      A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

but  so  arranged  that  one  could  comfortably  recline  in 
an  easy  chair,  or  on  a  couch,  on  which  one  could  be 
played  asleep.  These  instruments  did  not  deface  the 
room,  but  stood  in  small  closets,  which  minimized  the 
danger  of  falling  asleep.  Furthermore,  these  instru- 
ments were  located  with  a  great  deal  of  forethought, 
where  they  could  be  most  convenient  to  the  users,  and 
not  to  the  company  that  installed  them.  Municipal- 
ization had  entirely  changed  the  view-point  of  every- 
thing, without  any  appreciable  increase  in  cost ;  under 
individualistic  administration  it  was  always  the  tail 
that  wagged  the  dog.  Moreover,  the  telephone  wires 
were  used  along  the  fences,  and  there  were  cheap  in- 
terruption points  in  each  field,  to  which,  on  signal,  the 
farmer  could  hook  his  miniature  pencil-size  receiver 
and  transmitter,  and  so  saved  a  great  deal  of  time 
formerly  wasted.  In  the  same  way,  it  was  possible, 
in  case  of  break-down  or  accident,  to  summon  assist- 
ance, from  any  point  on  the  road.  Not  only  telegrams, 
but  letters  would  be  telephoned  in  to  the  farmers  from 
the  post  office,  so  as  to  minimize  the  waste  of  delivery 
time.  However,  the  evil  of  "listening  in"  by  neigh- 
bors was  done  away  by  a  tuning  device ;  and  excess- 
ively long  chats  by  a  more  efficient  supervision. 

This  telephoning  was  a  great  cure  for  unnecessary 
brutalization.  In  one  sense,  this  could  not  be  avoided; 
for  when  one  is  physically  exhausted  he  sleeps  heavily 
and  long.  This  is  healthy ;  but  it  must  be  counteracted 
in  two  ways :  by  limitation  of  working  hours,  and 
additional  cultural  opportunities.  The  latter  were 
made  accessible  by  the  telephone.  In  my  days  efforts 
in  this  direction  had  included  victrolas,  rural  free 
delivery,  and  moving  picture  shows.  But  this  was  not 
of  great  avail ;  and  the  state  had  put  on  the  telephone 
system  public  and  college  lectures,  concerts,  theatrical 
performances,  sermons,  candidates'  speeches,  and  even 
legislative  proceedings;  and,  by  a  microphone  attach- 


FARMING  REFORM  209 

ment,  all  the  private  conversations  in  the  legislators' 
offices. 

Then  the  farmer  was  by  the  telephone  in  constant 
touch  with  his  agricultural  college.  Any  information 
needed  could  be  secured  by  a  farmer  without  leaving 
the  field  in  which  he  was  working.  Indeed,  he  had  a 
good  deal  to  study,  because  from  year  to  year  there 
were  many  changes  in  method  and  results.  The  farmer 
had  to  follow  department  publications,  attend  depart- 
ment institutes,  be  ready  to  undergo  weekly  inspec- 
tions, and  visit  and  receive  the  visits  of  his  neighbors. 
Some  of  these  duties,  of  course,  were  more  or  less  of 
a  trial  at  the  time,  but  they  bore  good  fruit  in  effi- 
ciency, and  raised  a  public  spirit. 

Another  advantage  of  the  farmer's  profession  was 
the  shorter  time  of  work.  Pleasant  work,  such  as  that 
in  offices,  meant  long  hours ;  while  the  more  unpleasant 
work  was,  the  shorter  the  time  of  labor  required. 
Many  poets  and  artists  who  desired  to  complete  some 
great  work  of  art  made  every  effort  to  get  the  most 
repulsive  labor  so  as  to  enjoy  the  most  leisure. 

Another  evil  from  which  the  farmer  was  delivered 
was  the  uncertainty  of  the  weather,  to  the  extent  that 
on  rainy  days,  and  during  winter's  enforced  idleness  he 
was  given  some  collateral  occupation,  such  as  making 
watch-springs,  or  other  small  mechanical  task,  that 
could  be  done  indoors,  as  indeed  the  Swiss  even  in  my 
own  day  used  to  do. 

Then  the  farmer  was  freed  from  another  difficulty : 
the  disposal  of  his  produce.  The  commission  business 
had  been  municipalized,  under  a  supreme  distributing 
committee  which  received  reports  from  every  section 
of  the  country,  and  was  therefore  able  so  accurately 
to  allot  everything  that  there  was  no  waste,  superflu- 
ous materials  being  distributed  to  drying  houses  and 
canneries.  Only  a  farmer  will  fully  appreciate  this 
feature  at  its  revolutionary  value.     No  more  rotting 


210     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

of  fruit  on  the  trees  while  fifty  miles  away  people  were 
starving  of  hunger.  Also,  there  were  no  millionaire 
commission  merchants  coining  fortunes  ofif  the  hard- 
working man  in  the  fields,  who  had  borne  all  the 
burden  and  heat  of  the  day.  The  government  disposed 
of  fleets  of  swift  auto  trucks  which  every  evening  called 
for  the  gathered  products,  gave  a  receipt  for  the 
material,  allowing  the  farmer  to  go  in,  clean  up,  and 
turn  on  a  lecture  or  a  concert,  in  full  confidence  that 
the  best  possible  would  be  done  by  him.  Also  picking 
gangs  were  appointed  by  the  local  agricultural  expert 
from  the  schools  and  colleges,  the  children  thus  in 
part  paying  back  for  their  free  education.  Moreover 
it  was  the  business  of  this  expert  so  to  arrange  for 
the  rotation  of  crops,  and  the  distribution  of  the 
harvests,  as  to  avoid  all  conflicts  of  the  picking- 
gangs. 

What  became  of  the  commission  merchants?  Did 
they  starve?  No  indeed!  Those  that  did  not  receive 
positions  in  the  state  distributing  service  joined  pro- 
ductive industries,  and  themselves  became  farmers. 
This  was  no  degradation  for  them,  but  rather  a  coveted 
opportunity.  As  there  was  no  waste,  production  was 
plentiful,  and  the  hours  necessary  to  produce  it  were 
shorter  for  everybody. 

Two  more  evils  of  the  farmer  had  been  done  away; 
mortgages,  and  the  failing  of  the  banks  in  which  he 
had  deposited  his  savings. 

First,  mortgages.  Whatever  capital  was  needed  for 
seeds  and  hiring  of  tools  from  a  public  tool  warehouse 
was  secured  on  standard  terms  from  the  nearest  land- 
bank.  The  day  of  absurd  mortgages  was  passed.  In 
my  days  they  expected  the  poor  farmer  to  lay  a  wager 
against  the  universe,  and  its  assorted  weathers.  That 
in  itself  was  a  form  of  insanity,  almost  as  great  as  the 
delusion  of  "owning"  land.  Think  of  it:  a  field  which 
had  lain  there  since  a  couple  of  billions  of  years,  and 


FARMING  REFORM  211 

which  would  remain  there  until  Gabriel  blew  his 
trumpet  was  supposed  to  "belong"  to  a  human  being 
who  probably  could  count  on  no  more  than  thirty 
years  of  effective  life,  at  the  utmost !  It  was  humorous ; 
and  yet  lawyers  argued  so  many  cases  about  the 
ownership  of  land  that  they  actually  convinced  them- 
selves. Evidently  a  human  being  can  get  out  of  a  field 
no  more  than  its  usufruct,  guaranteed  by  the  state. 
Were  I  to  use  the  words,  "state  ownership,"  one-half 
of  my  ancient  contemporaries  would  have  shouted 
"heresy"  and  grown  green  in  the  face  with  fury. 

I  was  made  a  life-long  land-nationalist  by  the  follow- 
ing incident.  There  is  really  nothing  more  excruciat- 
ingly funny  than  alleged  "ownership"  of  a  lot  in  a 
cemetery.  In  my  childhood  I  once  visited  the  grave 
of  my  little  brother  Georgie  in  the  cemetery  of  Barrie, 
by  Carnoustie,  near  Dundee,  in  Scotland,  about  the 
year  1883.  Facing  the  entrance,  standing  up  against 
the  sweet  ivy-covered  church,  where  the  soulful  Calvin- 
ist  worshippers  might  prayerfully  meditate  on  it  when 
entering  or  departing,  was  a  large  white  and  black 
sign,  reading :  "Lot-holders  are  reminded  that  unless 
the  dues  are  paid  promptly,  the  bodies  will  be  disin- 
terred," Probably  the  bones  would  be  sent  to  a  flour 
grist-mill,  as  was  done  in  the  Crimea,  after  the  British 
war  there ! 

Second,  the  failing  of  banks.  Elsewhere  I  have 
already  acknowledged  that  it  passed  my  comprehen- 
sion why  an  honest  banker  would  throw  a  fit  at  the 
prospect  of  the  depositors  being  guaranteed  from  loss. 
But  here  the  question  was  of  "higher"  finance.  For 
instance,  when  a  certain  trust  wanted  to  gobble  a 
southern  rival,  all  that  its  leader  had  to  do  was  to  pre- 
cipitate a  panic  and  ask  for  a  private  interview  with 
a  prominent  official  who  in  public  swallowed  swords 
and  ate  hot  coals,  but  in  private  cooed  as  softly  as  a 
sucking-dove,  to  be  allowed  to  ruin  thousands.     The 


212      A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

same  thing  happened  when  one  eastern  road  wanted 
to  digest  a  competitor,  and  when  certain  orthodox 
financiers,  who  had  had  their  fingers  pinched  in  stock, 
wanted  to  take  away  a  fleet  of  boats  from  a  perfecter 
of  their  own  methods.  So  panics,  being  profitable  to 
**big  business,"  were  allowed  to  ruin  the  middle  classes 
every  seven  years,  because  protected  by  Republican 
majorities;  and  this  iniquity  did  not  stop  until  the  first 
Democratic  President  for  half  a  life-time  thought  of 
something  as  simple  as  pooHng  all  the  banks  in  a 
Federal  Reserve  system.  Was  it  any  wonder  that  all 
the  "respectable"  Republicans  hounded  that  saviour  of 
the  people  by  private  inuendo,  against  which  there  is 
no  defence? 

Under  these  conditions  the  "gentlemen  farmers" 
found  their  lot  rather  pleasanter  than  bookkeepers, 
salespersons,  or  factory  workers;  and  those  who  could 
get  farming  appointments  sought  them  eagerly ;  indeed, 
instead  of  the  presence  of  abandoned  farms,  the  whole 
effort  of  the  state  was  to  fill  abandoned  tenements. 
Farmers  had  all  the  healthful  physical  exercise  they 
wanted,  and  were  not,  like  city  clerks  and  bookkeepers, 
compelled  to  perform  state  athletic  manual  labor, 
such  as  unloading  freight-cars  or  ships,  road,  subway 
and  bridge  building,  sewer  construction,  and  manure 
hauling,  for  a  certain  specified  time  daily,  monthly,  or 
yearly. 

Having  explained  the  pleasant  position  of  the  private 
farmer,  I  must  hasten  to  add  that  there  were  very  few 
of  them.  The  state  had  transformed  agricultural  con- 
ditions. Even  in  my  day  it  had  begun  to  dawn  on 
farmers  that  produce  could  be  produced  far  cheaper 
wholesale,  and  in  the  most  favored  localities,  than  in- 
dividually, in  unfavorable  ones.  The  continental  agri- 
cultural authorities  therefore  assigned  the  distribution 
of  crops  intelhgently.  This  meant,  for  instance,  that 
Brazil  was  mostly  given  up  to  the  culture  of  rubber, 


FARMING  REFORM  213 

while  Argentine  still  raised  herds  innumerable.  These 
staples  were  then  transported  by  freight  even  to  the 
ends  of  the  world,  for  indeed  rubber  could  not  be 
produced  cheaper  anywhere  else. 

This  scientific  distribution  of  crops  was  necessary 
because  in  my  day  the  farmers  also  impoverished  each 
other  by  the  Master  Fallary  of  mutual  cheating.  For 
instance,  supposing  cotton  was  low,  and  the  state 
advised  farmers  to  stop  raising  it.  The  result  was  that, 
on  the  expectation  that  his  neighbor  would  obey  the 
state  and  stop  raising  cotton,  so  that  cotton  would  go 
up,  each  farmer  raised  more  cotton  than  ever. 

This  transportation  was  perfectly  proper  and  un- 
avoidable ;  but  when  these  staples  were  transported  to 
certain  central  factories,  from  which  the  finished 
articles  were  once  more  distributed  all  over  the  world, 
there  ensued  a  second  universal  transportation  which 
was  sheer  waste.  Even  in  my  day  large  concerns  had 
begun  to  see  this,  and  erect  factories  nearer  the 
ultimate  consumer.  The  end  of  this  process  was  when 
every  city,  as  mentioned  above,  had  a  full  standardized 
set  of  necessary  factories,  to  which  the  raw  materials 
were  brought.  This  not  only  did  away  with  waste 
transportation,  but  also  with  those  private  factory 
settlements  which  threatened  to  lead  to  a  recrudescence 
of  feudalism. 

Applied  to  food,  this  could  apply  only  to  the  staples 
and  to  special  fruits  like  bananas,  pineapples,  oranges, 
figs  and  raisins.  For  market-gardening,  fresh  eggs, 
milk,  and  other  perishable  foods,  every  city  depended 
on  its  own  efforts,  relying  on  the  distribution  board 
to  dispose  of  any  excess,  or  supply  any  unforeseen 
deficiency.  However  much  the  community  culture 
standardized  this  local  production,  there  always 
remained  a  certain  amount  of  individuality  and  spec- 
ialty; and  as  in  a  democracy  tyranny  will  be  reduced 
to  its  minimum,  wholesale  methods  would  be  enforced 


214      A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

only  so  far  as  would  be  absolutely  necessary  for  the 
welfare  of  the  community,  and  would  leave  freedom 
to  men  with  aptitude  or  talent  to  raise  or  produce 
whatever  their  special  genius  made  most  excellent.  In 
the  large  wholesale  production  the  individuals  and 
families  lived  in  hotels  or  community  houses;  from 
which  rapid  transportation  took  them  to  the  scene  of 
the  next  day's  labor,  which  altered  continually,  as  with 
steam  plows  and  harvesters  local  work  rapidly  shifted, 
even  in  my  day.  But  the  irreducible  minimum  of  the 
social  structure  is  the  home,  and  for  specialties,  or  for 
particular  small  favored  localities  where  alone  certain 
things  could  be  grown,  individual  homes  and  settle- 
ments were  still  in  vogue.  This  was  especially  true 
of  broken  ground,  while  the  communal  culture  was 
most  in  vogue  in  immense  plains  where  the  power 
plows  could  do  great  execution.  Along  with  the  trend 
to  large  wholesale  production  there  was  also  a  tendency 
to  small  settlements,  not  too  large  for  cultivation  by 
the  members  of  that  family,  because  hired  labor  was 
no  more  to  be  had,  and  each  family  of  specialists  had 
to  shift  for  itself. 

This  specializing  was  the  kind  of  work  I  undertook. 
Competition  with  the  Brazilian  staples  was  out  of  the 
question ;  I  could  make  good  only  in  some  specialty 
in  which  I  would  have  the  field  to  myself.  So,  with  the 
aid  of  the  local  agricultural  college,  I  introduced  the 
pea-nut  I  so  loved  in  my  circus-visiting  days,  and 
whose  crushed  butter  was  as  nourishing  as  delicious. 
As  this  was  little  known  in  Rio,  I  was  very  successful. 
I  soon  built  up  a  trade  limited  only  by  my  inability 
to  hire  assistants.  Later  I  had  the  satisfaction  of  see- 
ing the  municipality  undertake  my  specialty  in  a  whole- 
sale way,  so  much  was  the  emperor  among  nuts 
appreciated.  Then  the  trade  was  organized ;  several 
individuals,  all  receiving  the  same  pay  as  a  banker,  sub- 
ject   to   promotion   in   the   efficiency   grades,    allowed 


FARMING  REFORM  215 

those  who  would  not  under  any  circumstances  have 
worked  for  any  other  man,  to  undertake  the  common 
culture  of  this  specialty. 

Such  encouragement  of  specialties  led  to  improve- 
ments of  various  kinds,  which  would  have  been  impos- 
sible under  quantity  production,  where  all  the  advan- 
tage lies  in  standardizing  processes,  and  the  eliminating 
of  all  individuality.  Here  were  tried  out  all  sorts  of 
experiments.  The  songless  cats  of  South  America 
were  bred  to  develop  respectable  caudal  appendages; 
and  everywhere  else  in  the  world  betailed  felines  were 
rendered  songless  at  birth  by  a  very  simple  operation 
on  their  vocal  chords,  as  was  also  done  to  mules  so 
they  could  not  bray,  to  cocks  so  they  would  not  crow, 
and  dehorning  cattle,  so  that  they  would  no  longer 
figure  in  the  comics.  These  operations  all  took  place 
as  soon  after  birth  as  possible.  This  process  was 
extended  even  to  the  human  race,  so  that  their  baptism 
was  forbidden  until  the  unfortunate  youngster  had 
been  deprived  of  his  appendix,  his  tonsils,  adenoids, 
and   pubic   over-growths. 

Beyond  such  matters  of  taste  as  color,  individuality 
in  dress  was  also  decried.  They  wore  a  general  uni- 
form, and  they  as  little  objected  to  the  most  practical 
sort  of  garments  as  in  my  day  anyone  would  have  seen 
individuality  in  refusing  to  have  bath-rooms,  water- 
connections,  drains,  and  the  like.  Though  still  existing 
and  claimed  in  my  days,  the  "right  to  dirt"  was  no 
longer  recognized,  and  sad  was  the  tyranny  of  the 
compulsory  tub,  was  it  not? 

In  spite  of  the  individual  holdings  mentioned  above, 
the  state  had  introduced  universal  communal  culture; 
and  the  first  great  improvement  that  resulted  was 
universal  irrigation.  In  my  days,  there  was  a  double 
evil.  In  one  year  out  of  five,  the  average  field  experi- 
enced a  drouth,  while  the  stream  would  be  rushing 
away    headlong,    at    that    carrying    away    the    most 


216     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

precious  elements  of  fertility.  This  had  to  be  stopped 
scientifically  to  preclude  two  dangers,  irrigation  from 
streams  that  contained  harmful  minerals,  and  the  rot- 
ting of  seeds  and  plants  through  over-irrigation.  Irri- 
gation had  admittedly  saved  Egypt,  Mesopotamia,  and 
the  Lincolnian  Death  Valley;  why  not  all  valleys,  and 
all  deserts,  like  the  Sahara,  Arabia,  Turkestan,  Utah, 
Arizona  and  Australia?  Planting  was  no  longer  laying 
a  wager  with  the  clouds.  Streams  were  no  longer  said 
to  flow  through  a  valley,  but  to  fertilize  it. 

Irrigation,  however,  affects  streams  in  two  other 
particulars.  Full  utilization  for  fertilizing  diminishes 
the  volume  available  for  transportation ;  but  that  was 
replaced  by  monorail  electric  traction  on  every  high- 
way. Moreover,  cities  which  used  to  grow  at  the  foot 
of  navigation  on  the  sea-shore  now  grew  half-way 
down-stream,  in  the  strategic  centre  of  the  valley,  and 
nearer  the  source  of  electric  energy,  which  now  lay  no 
longer  in  irregularly  situated  coal-mines,  but  in  the 
wind-power  mills  on  the  highest  mountain-peaks.  The 
standard  use  of  water-power  was  one  power-station  to 
six  feet  of  level-fall  from  source  to  ocean-level.  This 
power  was  used  to  pump  water  for  irrigation,  where 
necessary.  Streams  were  no  longer  used  as  source  of 
drinking-water,  except  on  useless  mountain  park- 
areas,  and  it  was  forbidden  to  use  them  as  sewers.  No 
self-respecting  city  would  befoul  a  stream ;  it  had  its 
own  sewage-disposing  plant. 

All  these  problems  had  strangely  affected  the  land- 
scape value  of  streams.  Picturesque  shallows  had  dis- 
appeared. Everywhere  the  banks  were  artificial,  with 
locks,  intakes,  turbines  and  docks.  However  all  this 
was  parked,  with  asphalt  walks  under  trees,  so  that  on 
the  whole  the  change  was  a  gain,  rather  than  a  loss. 

This  comprehensive  utiHzation  of  all  mountains  and 
valleys  had  dealt  the  last  death-blow  to  migratory 
people  like  the  gypsies,  the  Indians,  and  the  Eskimo 


FARMING  REFORM  217 

tribes.  In  my  own  days  the  Indians  were  gradually 
shut  up  in  Reserves,  and  these  later  thrown  open  to 
settlement.  Even  in  my  childhood  there  were  but  few 
left.  The  gypsies  first  took  to  the  cities  for  the  winter, 
limiting  their  tours  to  the  summer.  These  had  again 
grown  more  and  more  restricted,  as  vacant  lots  dis- 
appeared, as  hen-roosts  ceased  to  be  private,  and  in- 
dividuals ceased  to  be  weak.  Every  one  worked  for 
himself,  and  lived  by  his  own  credit-card,  so  there  was 
no  more  ready  change  to  waste.  Hoboes  found  no 
more  free  rides  to  steal,  and  tramps  were  put  into  the 
observation-ward.  Beggars  were  considered  self-con- 
fessed rebels  to  scientific  organization,  and  were  im- 
mediately clapped  into  the  city  citizenship  college, 
where  their  cases  were  scientifically  investigated. 

Many  were  found  to  be  idiots,  or  "morons,"  cases 
of  development  arrested  at  various  ages.  These  then 
were  carefully  diagnosed,  the  cause  discovered,  and 
the  remedy  applied.  As  democracy  was  not  interpreted 
as  a  right  to  idiocy,  any  more  than  a  right  to  dirt,  to 
crime  or  ignorance,  hopeless  cases  were  promoted  to 
the  incinerating  plant,  rather  than  fed  for  fifty  years 
in  childish  idiocy.  Where,  however,  the  least  hope  of 
improvement  was  left,  the  patient  was  treated  most 
intelligently,  for  the  physician's  salary-rating  was 
dependent  on  the  number  of  cases  he  cured. 

While  therefore  shiftlessness  and  insane  ivanderlust 
were  most  fiercely  repressed,  the  proper  migratory 
instinct  was  not  merely  tolerated,  but  even  enforced. 
The  human  animal  was  by  nature  designed  to  run  not 
less  than  seven  miles  a  day,  and  in  my  day  the  seden- 
tary life  of  clerks  and  of  family-mothers  almost  in- 
evitably led  to  some  chronic  disease.  The  examples 
of  the  birds,  and  several  species  of  fishes  and  animals 
shows  that  nature  intended  some  such  sort  of  travel- 
ing, which  indeed  the  rich  of  my  day  carefully  imitated. 
In  the  modern  times  this  traveling  instinct  was  even 


218      A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

enforced,  on  the  plea  that  seeing  other  places  and 
people  was  necessary  not  only  to  physical  health,  but 
also  to  mental  balance,  that  is,  to  sanity.  Therefore 
the  state  gave  to  each  person  a  traveling  credit  of 
about  twelve  hundred  miles  a  year,  that  is,  a  hundred 
miles  a  month.  If  they  were  not  used  up  during  that 
month,  an  arrangement  could  be  made  by  which  they 
could  be  saved  up  for  one  longer  trip  once  a  year;  but 
if  they  were  not  taken  then,  the  case  was  brought  up 
before  the  Traveling  Board.  In  this  way  the  farmer 
was  compelled  to  travel  enough  to  correct  the  isolating 
tendency  of  unrelieved  country  farm  work. 

The  idea  was  that  democracy  demanded  familiariza- 
tion with  every  part  of  the  country.  Indeed,  before  a 
young  person  received  the  franchise  he  or  she  was 
compelled  to  take  a  trip  around  the  world,  as  once 
Locke  proposed,  and  as  the  German  apprentice  was 
supposed  to  do  around  his  smaller  universe,  the  Holy 
Roman  Empire;  and  as,  in  a  certain  way,  the  Mormons 
demanded  of  their  young  men.  The  trip,  of  course, 
was  not  for  pleasure  only.  The  youths  travelled  in 
groups  under  teachers,  with  laborious  written  reports 
to  make  during  the  evenings.  Nor  did  the  state,  in 
conducting  these  tours,  fail  to  make  use  of  them ;  first 
to  complete  the  education  of  physicians,  engineers, 
artists  or  architects.  Each  student  not  only  had  to 
study  on  the  spot  every  noteworthy  achievement  in  his 
line,  but  he  had  to  meet  personally  one  hundred  col- 
leagues, or  specialized  experts.  On  their  return  home, 
they  were  expected  to  study  home  conditions,  for  the 
purpose  of  introducing  whatever  improvements  had 
been  suggested  by  their  travels.  These  world-tours 
were  considered  essential  to  the  perpetuation  of  an 
international  democracy.  Thus  all  the  legitimate  trav- 
eling needs  of  the  individual  being  provided  for,  all 
unnecessary  and  unlawful  wanderlust  was  sternly  re- 
pressed, treated  as  a  disease,  and  corrected  by  experts ; 


FARMING  REFORM  219 

and  the  raising  of  a  family  soon  anchored  the  young 
citizen. 

When  I  first  learned  of  these  various  provisions  to 
soften  the  lot  of  the  farmer  I  thought  that  the  pen- 
dulum had  swung  too  far  in  the  opposite  direction; 
but  after  I  myself  had  become  thoroughly  exhausted 
in  field-labor  I  realized  the  necessity  of  making  his  lot 
compatible  with  progress,  if  genuine  democracy  was 
to  survive,  or  if  the  movement  of  the  population  was 
to  flow  back  to  the  soil. 

Shirkers,  of  course,  there  were;  but  an  intelligent 
system  would  not  permit  vicarious  suffering  for  them 
by  the  industrious.  This  evil  was  very  well  reached  by 
the  three-fold  grades  of  efficiency  classification  of  every 
man  in  the  state,  which  decided  of  the  amount  of  his 
salary.  Any  one  who  fell  below  the  lowest  rating  had 
little  sympathy  to  expect,  because  every  one  worked. 
In  my  days,  tramps  got  sympathy  mostly  from  wives 
who  lived  on  their  husband's  salary,  rather  than  from 
the  workers  themselves. 

Then,  a  healthy  man  cannot  shirk.  Even  in  my  days 
the  shiftlessness  of  the  South  was  found  to  be  chiefly 
due  to  hook-worm  disease.  So  shirkers  who  were 
recognized  by  failure  in  efficiency-ratings  were  immedi- 
ately studied  medically ;  and  as  the  ultimate  destination 
of  hopeless  cases  in  the  citizenship  colleges,  universi- 
ties and  hospitals,  after  a  most  strenuous  course  of 
sprouts,  was  the  incinerating-plant,  the  mere  threat  of 
such  an  institution  was  in  almost  all  cases  sufficient  to 
produce  an  immediate  conversion. 

There  were  nowadays  far  fewer  shirkers  than  in  my 
early  times ;  and  this  was  due  to  two  very  sufficient 
excuses.  In  my  days,  the  social  conditions  both 
encouraged  parasitism  and  heartlessly  abandoned  the 
unfortunate.  When  millionaires  were  seen  to  spend 
their  lives  in  idleness,  you  could  not  blame  men  for 
trying  to  live  by  their  wits.    Again,  men  had  to  work 


220     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

for  others,  and  however  much  they  will  shirk  under 
such  circumstances^,  they  will  not  be  likely  to  shirk 
when  working  for  themselves.  So  true  is  this  that  in 
Roman  times  the  only  way  to  make  slaves  work  was 
to  give  them  an  opportunity  of  earning  their  freedom. 
Slavery  is  contrary  to  the  divine  law,  and  is  suicidal, 
as  well  as  murderous.  Democracy,  on  the  other  hand, 
was  vindicated  by  nothing  so  much  as  by  the  virtues 
it  produced  in  its  citizens. 


CHAPTER  XXII 
SCHOOL  TEACHING  REFORM 

At  the  end  of  summer,  in  March,  I  had  practically 
forgotten  my  own  troubles,  and  was  disagreeably 
reminded  of  them  by  failing  health.  On  my  weekly 
report-visits  to  town,  I  never  failed  to  drop  in  to  pay 
my  respects  to  Godmother  Rose,  as  I  called  her.  In- 
advertently I  had  confessed  to  her  attacks  of  heart- 
failure.  Immediately  I  regretted  it,  and  soon  1  repen- 
ted of  it;  for  the  official  physician  immediately  started 
to  visit  me.  He  was  all  the  more  solicitous  as  the 
authorities  pretended  that  I  had  deserved  well  of  the 
state  by  my  good  results  in  domesticating  several 
Lincolnian  vegetable  specialties,  and  I  felt  ashamed  at 
causing  so  much  anxiety.  I  knew  very  well  that  his 
skill  would  prove  vain,  and  I  pitied  his  confident  man- 
ner as  he  began.  I  tried  to  laugh  of¥  the  matter;  for 
in  the  modern  world  health  is  a  matter  of  duty,  rather 
than  of  fancy.  I  was  now  under  supervision ;  and  how- 
ever kind  they  were,  they  gave  me  clearly  to  under- 
stand that  they  would  permit  no  nonsense,  especially 
as  I  had  been  caught  attempting  to  minimize  matters. 
No  doubt,  as  I  later  found  out,  some  of  their  official 
solicitude  was  due  to  the  influence  of  Rose,  who, 
accompanied  by  her  friends,  would  visit  my  small 
plantation,  and  give  me  good  advice,  not  only  about 
the  climate  of  the  country,  but  also  as  to  the  times 
and  kinds  of  assistance  I  might  secure  from  govern- 


222      A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

ment  agencies.  Her  help  was  so  valuable,  and  given 
so  discreetly  that  I  neither  desired,  nor  could  refuse  it. 

Yet  I  felt  that  I  was  hindering  Rose's  own  future. 
In  response  to  my  requests  for  friendly  information, 
I  discovered  that  she  had  completed  her  studies  in  the 
matrimonial  school,  but  had  not  yet  graduated  from 
the  selective  classes,  because  of  continued  procrastina- 
tion. She  had,  it  seems,  made  every  kind  of  excuse, 
and  advanced  every  possible  technicality ;  her  health, 
her  teaching  experience,  her  social  relief  work,  her 
parents'  health,  and  what  not.  She  had  been  given 
notice  that  she  would  have  a  husband  selected  for 
her,  next  spring,  about  September,  and  she  was  being 
compelled  to  receive  the  attentions  of  several  other 
members  of  the  selective  class.  They  would  accompany 
her  on  her  visits,  and  highly  disgusted  were  they  at 
her  solicitude  for  an  old  stager  like  me.  As  I  was 
out  of  the  running,  because  of  age,  and  of  my  mourn- 
ing for  Lilac,  they  did  not  scruple  to  suggest  to  me 
to  try  to  persuade  Rose  to  make  some  decision ;  assur- 
ing me  that,  in  case  they  should  be  successful,  they 
would  not  object  to  her  continuing  a  pedagogical  inter- 
est in  my  career.  I  did  indeed  summon  the  courage 
to  broach  the  matter;  but  she  rebuffed  me  by  asking 
why  I  myself  did  not  join  the  selective  class?  I  reported 
my  failure  to  the  suitors,  and  they  evidently  grew 
suspicious  of  the  Platonic  friendship  which,  however, 
they  could  not  break  up. 

In  the  modern  world  it  was  considered  against  public 
policy  to  have  any  unmarried  women  teachers.  Teach- 
ing was  very  properly  considered  an  extension  of  the 
parental  office,  and  the  educational  experts  spoke  with 
contempt  of  the  ancient  practice  of  having  unmarried 
teachers.  Such  a  practice  removed  from  motherhood 
the  intelligent  girls  best  fitted  for  the  bearing  of  the 
best  children.  Then  it  was  considered  impossible  for 
any  but  a  mother  or  father  to  have  inside  influence 


SCHOOL  TEACHING  REFORM  223 

with  children.  As  a  fact,  even  in  my  own  days,  married 
teachers  had  far  better  discipHne  than  the  unmarried, 
and  they  avoided  the  unseemly  "crushes"  that  the 
youth  frequently  "had"  on  the  unmarried  teachers  of 
both  sexes. 

Rose,  therefore,  had  not  yet  been  given  a  permanent 
position;  and  that  was  the  very  reason  why  she  had 
been  free  enough  to  take  charge  of  my  progress,  which 
a  regular  teacher  neither  could,  nor  would  have  done. 
Nor  was  I  entirely  to  be  blamed  for  her  hesitation,  as 
it  had  begun  long  before  I  had  appeared  on  the  scene. 

While  education  is  a  blessing,  and  no  one  can  have 
too  much  of  it,  the  further  it  goes  the  greater  are  the 
dangers  thereof  to  a  useful  career  in  general  social 
relationships.  Witness,  for  instance,  the  proverbial 
absent-mindedness  of  college  professors,  and  the  appar- 
ently failed  career  of  a  friend  of  mine,  who  had  earned 
two  degrees  in  philosophy,  and  one  in  medicine,  not 
to  speak  of  three  post-graduate  degrees,  of  which  one 
was  from  Harvard.  Education  must  be  limited  to  the 
specialty,  unless  a  man  is  to  be  a  failure  in  practical 
life.  The  more  varied  the  education,  the  broader  the 
generalizations,  but  also  the  more  different  from  their 
neighbors,  and  the  more  difficult  to  find  a  position  in 
which  this  broad  talent  can  be  satisfactorily  exercised. 
Now  this  peculiarity  is  harmless,  so  long  as  it  does 
not  interfere  with  the  practical  conduct  of  life.  This 
indeed  explains  the  strange  phenomenon  that  among 
the  Greeks  and  Romans,  and  even  down  to  my  own 
day,  the  pedagogical  profession  was  practically  en- 
slaved. 

It  had  been  respected  among  the  Hindoos,  who, 
however,  achieved  little  in  the  way  of  progress ;  but  it 
was  popularly  scorned  among  the  Yankees  who  had 
achieved  so  much.  In  the  modern  world,  a  true  bal- 
ance had  been  struck  between  both  extremes.  This 
had   resulted   from   the   realization   that   teaching   was 


224      A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

only  a  specialized  form  of  parenthood.  This  employed 
many  parents  after  their  children  were  out  of  the  way. 
As  the  state  expected  parenthood  from  everybody,  and 
later  also  some  teaching,  the  result  was  the  elimination 
of  the  hiatus  between  home  and  school  noticeable  in 
my  day.  Moreover,  it  broke  up  the  high  school  fra- 
ternity difficulty  in  the  only  proper  and  permanent 
way,  by  the  application  of  mother's  or  father's  hand- 
cure.  The  gang-spirit  thus  never  got  a  chance  to  start ; 
and  if  started,  was  either  ruthlessly  eradicated,  or  trans- 
formed to  higher  uses. 

It  must  not  be  supposed  that  there  were  no  educa- 
tional experts;  but  these  had  undergone  the  universal 
training  first,  and  then  had  specialized  later  on.  One 
principle,  indeed,  was  held  sacred ;  that  parenthood 
must  precede  educational  expertry.  Another  one  was, 
that  classes  should  not,  in  size,  exceed  a  very  large 
family;  and  sixteen  was  considered  as  large  a  class  as 
it  was  possible  to  teach,  though  of  course  not  to 
instruct.  As  teaching  had  become  a  civic  duty,  such 
as  jury  service  now  is,  and  among  the  Mormons  the 
two  years'  missionary  duty,  and  part  of  every  person's 
education,  there  was  no  lack  of  teachers  for  classes 
so  small. 

This  extension  of  teaching  had  occurred  m  pursu- 
ance of  a  further  insight,  that  almost  all  social  work 
partakes  of  some  form  of  teaching.  This  was,  to  some 
extent,  always  recognized  in  respect  of  the  clergy ;  and 
later  of  physicians,  and  even  dentists  and  nurses; 
further  of  life-insurance  agents,  salesmen,  travel-guides, 
and  artists.  In  respect  of  these,  however,  development 
had  been  very  slow,  in  my  young  days.  People  would 
rave  about  art  for  art's  sake,  without  realizing  that 
the  only  master-pieces  of  sublime  permanence  have 
been  those  that  have  inspired  the  race.  But  of  this 
enough  here.  Even  factory-work  had  been  education- 
alized,  and  led  to  improvements  and  progress,  as  soon 


SCHOOL  TEACHING  REFORM  225 

as  municipalization  had  taken  the  sting  out  of  the  rela- 
J^on  between  capital  and  labor. 

s]^^,Rose,  therefore,  had  been  an  example  of  the  dangers 
j-gjj  over-culture,  a  sort  of  recrudescence  of  Bostonian- 
Sc...->  She  was  a  born  teacher  of  the  higher  reaches  of 
culture,  but  hesitated  to  pay  the  price  demanded  by 
the  state;  without  which^  however,  she  could  never 
have  reached  her  present  attainments.  Faithful  to  this 
one  great  master-passion,  her  friendships  had  been 
mainly  of  the  Platonic  order.  She  did  indeed  imagine 
that  she  had  once  been  disappointed  in  love  to  a  youth 
who,  as  in  these  days  was  very  unusual,  had  died  early. 
Since  then  she  had  imagined  herself  somewhat  out  of 
the  running,  and  had  resented  her  compulsory  attend- 
ance at  the  matrimonial  school,  although  her  unusual 
culture  fitted  her  exceptionally  to  bear  children  of  the 
most  desirable  type.  That  was  the  period  in  her  life 
when  I  had  appeared  on  her  horizon,  and  had  been 
recognized  as  a  first-class  reason  for  further  delay  and 
shilly-shallying  in  her  life-settlement. 

Of  course,  at  the  very  beginning  I  had  not  fully 
understood  the  situation;  a  certain  amount  of  healthy 
egoism  had  succeeded  the  stage  of  educational  depend- 
ence; but,  as  I  have  explained,  her  parents  and  suitors 
did  not  fail  to  emphasize  it,  and  she  too  acknowledged 
it.  Like  an  honorable  man  I  had  both  intended  and 
had  begun  to  join  her  suitors  and  parents  in  urging 
deference  to  her  own  life-interests,  when  my  unfortun- 
ate languor  began  once  more,  both  arousing  her  sym- 
pathies and  making  me  more  than  ever  dependent  on 
her  good  nature. 

At  first  the  doctors  thought  that  they  could  treat 
my  case,  like  any  other;  but  when  they  observed  that 
I  was  getting  weaker  and  weaker  in  spite  of  every 
tonic  in  their  armamentarium,  they  began  to  lose  self- 
confidence.  My  story  1  had  never  told  to  them  or  to 
anybody  else;  so  that,  although   my  body  presented 


226     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

the   natural   symptoms  of  acute   senility,   this   had   of 

course  never  been  defined  in  their  text-books,  and  the  ' 

had  no  name  for  it.    But  they  soon  realized  that  th  ' 

•  on 

were     dealing    with     something    unusual,     and     t'  . 

despaired  of  reaching  the  cause  of  my  condition  "f^^l 
out  knowing  the  full  history  of  the  case,  whic.  jq 
obscured  as  much  as  possible.  In  their  extremity, 
I  later  found  out,  they  turned  to  Rose,  who  had  orig"^ 
inally  interested  them  in  my  case.  They  asked  her  to 
find  out  the  cause,  and  gave  her  official  permission  to 
take  a  month  or  so  to  do  it.  As  this  retarded  the  date 
of  her  compulsory  marriage,  it  was  very  welcome  to 
her;  and  so,  besides  the  natural  dictates  of  humanity, 
she  had  every  reason  to  interest  herself  in  the  matter. 
Fully  to  measure  the  kindliness  of  her  disposition, 
it  must  be  remembered  that  we  were  not  in  Lincolnia, 
where  even  in  my  days  young  ladies  were  willing  to  go 
out  socially  with  young  men,  unattended  by  a  chap- 
erone.  I  was  in  Brazil  where,  in  my  days,  even  a 
bechaperoned  visit  was  a  favor,  and  where  meetings 
in  the  park  promenades  were  all  that  could  be  ex- 
pected. Of  course,  things  had  everywhere  moved  fast; 
but  nevertheless  social  prejudices  survived  locally,  in 
spite  of  the  official  introduction  of  matrimonial  schools, 
which  had  been  introduced  everywhere,  by  decree  of 
the  world-congress  in  Asia  Minor,  as  a  sequel  to  uni- 
versal woman  suffrage.  Successful  completion  of  their 
selection  classes  was  of  course  the  norm  of  social 
habits;  but  these  varied  in  every  country  and  climate. 
In  countries  of  Iberian  traditions  local  sentiment 
differed  from  Anglo-Saxon  or  Latin  districts.  Besides, 
as  Rose  was  trying  to  evade  marriage,  she  was  all  the 
more  ready  to  manifest  freedom  in  her  movements. 
Whatever  the  cause,  and  my  gratitude  to  her  would 
willingly  ascribe  only  the  best,  she  must  have  under- 
taken the  task  of  bewitching  me  with  siren  arts  at  the 
behest  of  the  attending  physicians. 


SCHOOL  TEACHING  REFORM  227 

With  art  more  consummate  than  that  with  which 
DeHlah  once  befooled  Samson,  she  charmed  and  lured 
me  without  arousing  my  suspicions.  To  begin  with, 
she  took  me  into  entirely  new  surroundings,  so  as  to 
remove  me  from  any  associations  in  which  I  might 
have  formed  resolutions  of  secrecy  which  might  support 
my  obstinacy.  So  I  was  removed  to  Mar  del  Plata, 
on  the  ocean  near  Buenos  Aires.  Lying  back  in  an 
invalid's  carriage,  with  friendly  Rose  by  my  side,  I 
forgot  myself  in  the  enjoyment  of  la  Rambla  and  was 
frankly  interested  in  the  trip  to  Cordoba,  and  its 
higher  health  resorts,  and  to  Tucuman,  the  place  where 
the  Argentinian  Declaration  of  Independence  was 
signed.  Gradually  my  nerves  were  soothed  in  climate 
more  moderate  than  Brazil,  among  less  exciting  farm- 
ing scenery. 

As  we  smoothly  bowled  along  among  fresh  pastoral 
scenes  I  could  not  help  expressing  associated  remin- 
iscences from  my  earlier  careers,  and  before  I  realized 
what  I  was  doing  or  grasped  Rose's  object  in  all  this 
sweetness,  I  was  uttering  my  sorrow  about  Lilac,  my 
indebtedness  to  Orchid,  and  the  amusing  Policiver 
complications;  thence  to  the  Parker  slumber  experi- 
ences, and  their  origin  on  the  European  battlefields, 
and  furthest  away  of  all,  my  ministerial  career  in 
Brooklyn.  I  indulged  myself  in  these  reminiscences 
all  the  more  that  I  imagined  myself  at  the  end  of  my 
earthly  existence,  and  I  was  comforted  by  the  long 
perspective,  which  enforced  on  me  the  educational 
significance  of  the  totality  of  my  travels. 

Rose  was  an  accomplished  artist  in  conversation 
and  social  deportment.  She  did  not  question  my  story, 
which  might  well  have  seemed  of  the  cock-and-bull 
variety  to  a  healthy-minded  person  of  more  common 
education.  She  however  had  progressed  to  that  realm 
of  thought  where  man  is  conscious  that  there  are 
more  things  in  heaven  and  on  earth  than  are  dreamt 


228      A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

of  in  every-day  philosophy ;  and  she  asked  for  hght 
in  a  way  such  as  to  draw  me  on  to  further  explana- 
tions. She  used  all  feminine  wiles,  enthusiasms, 
scepticism,  pouting  and  witticisms  until  she  had  sucked 
me  dry  as  an  orange,  and  then  kept  me  off  my  guard 
by  serious  and  helpful  suggestions  and  comparisons 
anent  the  old  and  the  new  world-order. 

With  my  whole  story  off  my  mind,  I  was  feeling 
noticeably  better,  albeit  somewhat  weaker,  when  we 
had  returned  to  Mar  del  Plata.  Expecting  imminent 
dissolution,  I  had  made  my  confession,  and  was  at 
peace  with  all  the  world.  I  did  not  even  comment  on 
meeting  there  one  of  Rose's  preferred  suitors,  Laurel 
Visionistaber  Sameribahianif,  who  had  often  visited 
my  little  farm,  and  had  been  the  last  to  plead  with  me 
to  urge  Rose  to  fulfil  her  duties  at  the  matrimonial 
school.  Feelingly  he  inquired  after  my  health,  and 
though  most  sympathetic,  was  not  actor  enough  to 
hide  his  intense  satisfaction  at  my  approaching  demise. 
Indeed,  after  having  ascertained  this,  he  became  most 
solicitous  about  my  daily  weakening.  Then  Rose  was 
called  away  to  consult  with  her  parents,  and  Laurel 
naturally  assumed  the  cares  Rose  had  vacated.  He 
was  more  interesting  than  could  have  been  any  nurse, 
and  showed  himself  willing  to  discuss  modern  condi- 
tions, though  it  was  evident  this  bored  him,  as  he  took 
them  for  granted,  as  if  the  world  had  never  known  any 
others.  So  we  passed  the  time  pleasantly,  although  I 
missed  Rose's  willingness  to  let  me  confide  in  her  the 
faded  secrets  of  my  world-weary  heart. 

Still  I  had  a  compensation,  for  by  telephone  I  heard 
from  Rose  every  day,  and  she  had  for  me  always  some 
bright,  unexpected,  pleasant  observation,  or  some 
interesting  piece  of  news.  Still,  as  two  weeks  slipped 
by,  I  began  to  wonder  whether  I  should  see  her  again 
before  passing  away;  for  a  weak  person  does  not  real- 
ize how  much  weaker  he  is  capable  of  becoming  before 


SCHOOL  TEACHING  REFORM  229 

actually  passing  out.  Gradually  official  hope  oozed 
away,  although  I  never  failed  to  accept  the  tonics  and 
condensed  foods  that  were  being  forced  on  me.  It  was 
in  this  matter  that  Laurel  showed  himself  most  heroic- 
ally indefatigable.  He  never  left  me,  but  spent  the 
long  afternoons  sybaritically  by  my  side,  sipping 
lemonade,  or  nibbling  at  dainties,  yet  never  for  a 
moment  relaxing  his  Argus-like  watchfulness  over  the 
nostrums  he  speeded  down  my  now  often  recalcitrant 
throat. 

Then  happened  the  unexpected.  From  a  deep  nap 
I  woke  up  gradually  as  if  after  some  anaesthetic,  going 
through  that  terrible  valley  of  thirst.  I  missed  Rose's 
presence  as  much  as  a  child  would  have  missed  its 
mother,  although  I  dimly  perceived  that  she  had  been 
near,  on  which  account  I  was  the  more  insistent  for 
her  presence.  When  I  recovered  I  was  very  feverish, 
and  had  wild  fancies  such  as  I  strangely  remembered 
having  dreamed  at  the  sanitarium,  and  in  the  ocean- 
side  cottage. 

Accustomed  as  I  had  been  to  friendly  treatment  I 
was  actually  frightened  at  the  fury  with  which,  in  the 
afternoon,  I  was  greeted  by  Laurel.  When  he  sim- 
mered down  to  intelligibihty,  he  revealed  to  me  what 
he  had  just  discovered  to  have  been  the  real  purpose 
of  Rose's  trip  home,  namely,  after  having  wormed  out 
of  me  the  whole  of  my  story,  to  consult  about  me 
with  the  specialists  there.  Then  she  had  taken  the 
heroic  resolve  to  give  me  at  least  one  more  year  of 
life,  by  the  gift  of  some  of  her  own  life-blood.  While 
her  parents  were  naturally  enough  bitterly  opposed  to 
this,  the  physicians  were  frankly  interested,  and  wel- 
comed her  sacrifice  in  the  interest  of  scientific  research. 
Transfusion  of  blood  had,  in  those  days,  almost  entirely 
died  out,  for  the  reason  that  as  everybody  had  the  right 
to  work,  and  thereby  to  a  living,  no  one  could  be 
induced  to  undergo  such  an  operation ;  and  without 


230     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

any  doubt  whatever,  except  for  the  generosity  of  so 
lovely  a  being,  I  should  certainly  have  passed  away 
in  the  very  midst  of  so  many  entirely  good-natured 
persons. 

Rose  had  come  back  several  days  ago,  but  by  the 
telephone  had  hid  her  proximity.  She  had  been  pre- 
paring herself  for  the  operation,  intending  that  I  be 
left  in  ignorance  that  it  was  she  who  had  saved  my 
life.  But,  as  might  well  have  been  expected,  Laurel, 
angry  already  at  having  been  left  in  the  dark,  was 
more  royalist  than  the  king.  He  decided  that  this 
philandering  must  come  to  an  end.  He  revealed  the 
true  state  of  affairs,  and  put  it  up  to  my  honor  as  a 
gentleman  that  I  close  our  mutual  relations,  even  in 
spite  of  Rose.  As  she  knew  I  was  old,  and  a  widower, 
he  assumed  I  was  out  of  the  running  for  her  hand, 
and  that  therefore  further  intercourse  could  not  pos- 
sibly lead  to  anything;  while  retarding,  if  not  prevent- 
ing, her  happiness  in  life.  He  insisted  I  ought  to  be 
ashamed  to  hinder  my  benefactress;  and  that  if  I 
possessed  any  decency,  I  would,  before  her  recovery, 
efface  myself  from  the  situation.  This  delay  might  be 
of  about  two  weeks,  as  she  did  not  intend  to  see  me 
until  she  had  so  perfectly  recovered  that  I  would  not 
suspect  the  identity  of  my  savior. 

"And  I  am  not  even  to  thank  her,  or  say  farewell?" 
quailed  I. 

"That  is  the  very  point,"  threatened  he.  "The  inter- 
view can  lead  to  nothing,  and  should  not ;  and  know- 
ing her  good  nature,  you  know  that  if  you  do  see  her, 
she  will  want  you  to  stay  where  she  can  watch  over 
you.  Out  of  sheer  pity  she  will  now  actually  love  you, 
which  would  mean  the  ruin  of  her  career.  You  must 
leave  in  any  case;  you  better  dcv  so  before  you  further 
injure  her  prospects." 

"What  will  she  think  of  me?"  moaned  I;  "will  she 
consider  me  ungrateful?" 


SCHOOL  TEACHING  REFORM  231 

"That  we  can  avoid ;"  responded  he.  "I  can  tell  her 
that  you  left  out  of  gratitude." 

"Do  you  promise  that  whatever  you  do  will  be  done 
for  the  welfare  of  her,  and  not  of  yourself?"  chal- 
lenged I. 

"That  is  certain,  that  I  can  assure  you!"  asseverated 
he  so  genuinely  that  his  words  carried  conviction. 

"Then  there  is  nothing  left  but  for  me  to  efface  my- 
self, and  at  once!"  decided  I.  "But  you  will  have  to 
make  the  necessary  arrangements ;  for  I  am  yet  dizzy, 
besides  being  a  stranger  to  the  locality." 

"You  may  depend  on  me!"  agreed  he,  sadly. 


CHAPTER  XXIII 
OCEAN  VOYAGE  REFORM 

Laurel  proved  as  good  as  his  word.  With  the 
utmost  care  and  thoughtfulness  he  arranged  for  my 
immediate  departure.  It  was  decided  that  the  quickest 
and  most  radical  change  would  be  for  me  to  cross  the 
Andes  on  the  way  to  Valparaiso,  and  thence  embark 
for  New  Zealand.  The  advantage  of  this  move  was 
that  this  sail  would  be  along  one  single  degree  of  lati- 
tude, and  would  not  entail  any  heart-strain  on  me 
during  my  recovery,  by  the  change  of  climate  due  to 
an  immediate  return  to  the  tropics.  I  was  given  a 
small  but  efficient  motor  tricycle  of  the  amphibious 
variety,  to  enable  me  to  travel  at  will  by  land  or 
water;  and  it  was  so  arranged  as  to  be  able  to  take 
the  air,  for  minor  distances  up  to  five  hundred  miles, 
by  unfolding  wing-planes.  I  was  not  sent  over  by  air- 
plane, which  was  judged  to  be  too  much  of  a  strain 
on  me  under  present  circumstances;  so  that  my  route 
was  mapped  for  Auckland  and  Melbourne.  Because 
of  influential  backing,  Laurel  was  enabled  to  make  all 
arrangements  for  me  very  quickly,  and  he  accompanied 
me  across  the  Andes,  to  be  sure  I  got  off  safely  on 
ship-board. 

My  feelings  can  be  better  imagined  than  described. 
The  only  thing  that  supported  me  in  facing  the  un- 
known was  that  I  thus  was  making  the  best  possible 

amends  to  my  generous  benefactress.    I  did  make  it  a 

232 


OCEAN  VOYAGE  REFORM  233 

point  of  honor  to  hold  no  further  communications 
with  her.  I  had  to  endure  her  thinking  me  ungrate- 
ful, and  I  was  compelled  to  take  it  out  in  prayers  for 
her  welfare.  This  time  I  expected  no  further  reprieve 
from  nature's  condemnation  to  extinction ;  and  the 
fact  that  my  pilgrimage  could  not  be  for  long  was 
also  an  element  of  courage.  I  anticipated  a  slow 
progress  around  the  Polynesian  islands,  and  looked 
to  find  some  quiet  hermitage  where  in  secret  my 
supreme  agony  might  be  accomplished,  as  do  the  wild 
beasts  who  seek  a  quiet  spot  to  die. 

Laurel  had  respected  my  feelings ;  so  that  when  we 
had  safely  embarked  in  the  Transandean  high  speed 
train,  I  was  not  hindered  from  communing  with  the 
unseen  source  of  strength.  As  the  the  road  began  to 
climb,  the  grandeur  of  the  scenery,  naturally  bade  me 
"sursum  corda,"  my  only  regret  being  that  my  bene- 
factress was  not  enjoying  this  grandeur  by  my  side.  I 
imagine  Laurel  must  have  understood  my  feelings, 
for  he  was  as  tender  as  a  brother,  though  as  unflinch- 
ing as  an  executioner,  when  I  involuntarily  exclaimed, 
"Oh,  if  she  was  only  here  to  enjoy  that !"  He  nodded, 
sharing  with  me  the  awe  at  the  Creator's  sublimity. 
He  added,  "I  shall  l)ring  her  here  sometime!"  As  a 
seal  on  our  friendship,  and  on  his  promise  faithfully  to 
fend  for  her,  we  soon  came  in  sight  of  the  colossal 
statue  of  the  "Christ  of  the  Andes,"  whose  benediction 
of  international  peace  has  since  been  amply  realized, 
not  only  by  Argentine  and  Chile,  but  by  the  federation 
of  the  whole  continent,  in  the  wake  of  the  League  to 
Enforce  Peace  at  the  close  of  the  world-war  for 
democracy. 

The  train  soon  descended,  and  the  new  glory  of  the 
Pacific,  to  the  feet  of  which  we  seemed  to  be  descend- 
ing, distracted  our  thoughts.  Indeed,  at  the  last  our 
parting  was  so  hurried  that  my  only  feelings  were 
those  of  a  traveller's  natural  interest  in  entirely  new 


234     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

surroundings,  and  I  did  not  realize  what  had  occurred 
until  at  the  ship's  first  gentle  motions  Laurel's  form 
began  to  diminish  in  size. 

Then  suddenly  I  felt  that,  by  him,  I  should  have 
sent  a  last  greeting  to  our  mutual  friend ;  and  I  tried 
to  shout  it.  He  heard  the  general  drift,  and  tried  to 
listen  more  carefully ;  but  it  was  in  vain.  His  facial 
expression  showed  he  had  not  caught  the  full  import 
of  what  I  tried  to  convey.  Then  I  saw  him  give  up  the 
attempt,  and  by  gestures  he  tried  to  console  me,  and 
assure  me  he  would  act  for  the  best.  Tears  blinded  me 
as  I  realized  that  this  experience  must  be  similar  to 
that  of  a  soul  passing  into  the  Beyond,  still  able  to  see 
the  actions  of  his  beloved  ones,  yet  unable  to  reach 
them  or  their  minds. 

Of  course  the  whole  ship's  company  hung  over  the 
rail  until  out  of  sight  of  land,  and  the  sunset  was  over. 
A  bell  rang  for  supper.  I,  however,  felt  too  much 
overcome  to  partake  of  a  feast  in  company  of  the  gay 
crowd  around  me.  Swiftly  I  retired  to  my  comfortable 
cabin,  to  face  myself  and  my  only  Support  within  me, 
until  the  beneficent  mists  of  sleep  readmitted  me  to 
my  own  private  world,  peopled  by  Mrs.  Parker,  Lilac, 
Orchid  and  Rose. 

I  reflected  that  this  my  interior  happiness  no  one 
could  take  from  me.  Here  Dr.  Policiver  and  Laurel 
were  powerless,  and  I  might  go  in  and  out  with  my 
dear  ones  without  let  or  hindrance,  as  when  fully 
released  from  the  burden  of  the  flesh  I  should  really 
do.  The  chief  thing  that  surprised  me,  however,  was 
that  from  within  I  could  get  no  word  from  Lilac,  who, 
I  felt  sure  if  she  could  have  done  so,  would  have  tried 
to  make  me  aware  of  her  continued  solicitude  and  love. 
With  dismay  I  wondered  whether  in  her  last  moments 
her  parents  had  been  able  to  wean  her  away  from  me; 
but  that  I  could  not  credit.  All  I  could  do  was  to 
commend  her  to  the  care  of  God,  and  to  reaffirm  my 


OCEAN  VOYAGE  REFORM  235 

heart's  loyalty  to  her,  the  soul  that  had  met  mine  most 
closely,  although  my  double  debt  to  Orchid  demanded 
from  me  unflinching  gratitude  to  the  end  of  my  life. 
Then  I  reflected  on  the  strange  chance  that  I,  who  had 
unhesitatingly  devoted  myself  to  the  cause  of  democ- 
racy in  the  most  terrible  war  the  world  had  ever 
known,  should  have  owed  my  preservation  chiefly  to 
women.  The  most  pitiful  thing  was,  in  addition,  that 
to  each  of  them  I  had  brought  unhappiness.  This  new 
year  that  I  owed  to  Rose  should  be  devoted  to  a  career 
such  as  Rose  would  have  approved  of;  it  should  be  my 
"Rose  year;"  the  gift  of  life  I  should  try  to  pass  on  to 
someone  else ;  and  even  if  she  should  never  know  of  it, 
her  influence  should  nevertheless  continue  onward  in 
a  golden  chain. 

Then  there  closed  in  on  me  disordered  phantoms, 
and  suddenly  I  was  aware  of  being  examined  by  the 
ship's  doctor,  who  had  been  called  when  I  began  to 
show  signs  of  brain  fever.  He  recognized  the  lucid 
interval,  and  spoke  to  me  in  a  friendly  way.  It  seems 
that  Laurel,  on  seeing  me  disappear  in  the  offlng,  had 
been  impressed  with  the  thought  that  it  might  be  well 
wirelessly  to  warn  the  ship's  doctor  that  I  might  need 
his  care ;  and  as  it  happened,  that  considerateness 
proved  a  golden  key  to  my  future.  Dr.  Willow  Sociali- 
set  Sazealdunedinok  —  which  name  implied  that  he 
was  born  on  the  31st  of  January  2001,  in  the  New 
Zealand  town  of  Dunedin,  in  the  10th  radial  division, 
fourth  ward  —  was  kindly,  gave  me  some  sleeping 
potions,  bade  me  be  of  good  cheer,  told  me  of  Laurel's 
friendly  message,  and  let  me  sleep  out  my  anguish. 

In  a  few  days  I  was  on  deck,  in  a  steamer  chair, 
being  revitalized  by  the  sanifying  swish  of  the  ocean 
waves,  the  blue  sky,  the  occasional  storms,  the  old 
friendly  stars,  whose  southern  constellations  I  had  al- 
ready learned  under  the  kindly  tutorship  of  Rose,  — 
how  a  good  deed  does  twine  itself  around  one's  heart! 


I 


236     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

—  all  these  eternally  human  realities  had  kept  up  the 
unity  of  the  human  race  through  the  procession  of  the 
centuries;  I  felt  grateful  for  their  stability  in  a  world 
whose  changes,  to  me  at  least,  had  become  so  kaleido- 
scopic. 

Although    sickness    is    not    amusing,    yet    there    are 
compensations.     It    enabled    me   to   enjoy   the    social 
activities,   without   being  compelled   to   take   part.      I 
could  sit  back  and  judge  the  whole  proceedings  from 
the  comparative  standpoint  of  the  life  on  ship-board 
during  my  earlier  less  civilized  days.      I  remembered 
the  routine  of  a  transatlantic  trip  pretty  well.     First 
day,  shrewd  judgments  passed  on  each  other.    Second 
day,   acquaintance  plus  phosphorescence   and  whales. 
Third  day,  shuffle-board  and  tete-a- fetes.     Fourth  day, 
public  games.    Fifth  day,  wire-pulling,  gambling,  con- 
cert with   graft   collections   not   one-quarter   of   which 
ever  reached  the  ghost  "orphans  of  Liverpool."    Sixth 
day,  announcement  of  engagements  among  the  young, 
and    social    schemes    among   the   charming   mammas. 
Seventh  day   (if  any),  packing,  distribution  of  snap- 
shots, and  vows  of  eternal  friendship,  with  return  of 
engagement  rings.    Then,  dash  for  the  customs,  empty 
compartments,    and   exchange    of   impressions   of   the 
travellers  by  the  stewards.     That  is  the  kind  of  trip  I 
was  expecting. 

On  the  contrary,  I  found  that,  like  everything  else, 
traveling  had  been  educationalized.  In  my  day  the 
University  Travel  Bureau  had  already  begun  to  give 
educational  lectures  on  their  private  steamers.  In  Eng- 
land, the  Midland  Railway  had  put  in  their  coaches 
colored  views  of  the  points  of  interest  along  their  route. 
That,  however,  was  only  a  trifle  in  comparison  with 
what  should  have  been  done.  To  begin  with,  Satan 
finds  plenty  mischief  for  idle  hands  to  do.  This  evil, 
on  board  the  steamer,  used  to  take,  for  men,  the  form 
of  o-ambling;  and  for  women,  that  of  slander;  and  for 


OCEAN  VOYAGE  REFORM  237 

both  combined,  that  of  flirting.    All  three  were  of  evil. 

At  the  very  first  world-congress,  the  educational 
authorities  of  the  various  countries  took  possession  of 
this  idle  time.  First  they  established  travel  lectures 
illustrating  the  countries  between  which  the  steamers 
phed.  The  next  step  was  an  extension  of  the  subjects 
to  all  the  various  continents.  Systematized  lecture- 
courses,  with  standard  slides,  were  established  at  the 
world-capital,  and  distributed  to  the  various  ports  of 
entry.  Then  the  captain,  assisted  by  the  more  educated 
higher  offtcers,  showed  them  three  times  a  day,  so  as 
to  form  a  complete  whole,  during  the  trip.  Those  who 
did  not  care  for  recognition,  merely  attended  them ; 
those  who  wished  home  credits  received  certificates  of 
attendance,  and  by  writing  up  the  notes  and  outlines 
on  standard-sized  paper,  handed  them  in  to  the  captain, 
who  countersigned  them,  and  forwarded  them  to  the 
proper  authorities,  and  issued  a  certificate.  Later  on 
there  arose  the  idea  of  utilizing  these  trips  to  hold 
meetings  of  learned  societies,  educational  congresses, 
and  so  forth.  This  combined  the  pleasures  and  bene- 
fits, both  physical  and  mental,  of  traveling,  with  the 
right,  instead  of  the  wrong  social  environments. 
Besides,  it  did  away  with  the  pernicious  practice  of 
speakers  arriving  by  the  last  possible,  and  leaving  on 
the  earliest  train,  which  practically  ruined  the  benefit 
of  the  meeting. 

Sessions  of  the  selective  classes  of  the  matrimonial 
schools  were  also  held  here,  which  thus  regularized 
the  inevitable  meetings  of  young  people,  supervising 
them  scientifically,  and  introducing  the  element  of 
responsibility,  as  everything  was  carefully  recorded, 
and  reported  to  the  home  towns  of  both,  and  so  reg- 
ulated that  every  girl  on  ship-board  got  an  equal 
number  of  callers  and  dancers,  and  every  youth  got 
his  chance  at  every  girl.  This  did  away  with  all  rivalry, 
jealousy,  and  unkindness.  such  as  ruled  in  the  olden 


238     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

days  when  the  hindmost  was  thrown  overboard  to  the 
devil.  Engagements,  tentative  of  course,  were  duly 
recorded,  and  counted  towards  the  standard  number 
prescribed  by  the  home  school  authorities. 

On  ship-board  were  also  held  classes  of  navigating 
schools.  In  my  day  the  ship  conditions  were  so  bad 
that  there  existed  in  every  port  "pimps"  who  "shang- 
haied" the  unwary,  at  so  much  a  head.  Such  a  scandal 
was  never  touched  by  the  authorities,  because  it  was 
convenient  to  the  ship-owners.  The  profession  of 
being  a  seaman  was  educationalized.  In  my  days 
Secretary  Daniels  made  such  an  effort,  and  he  was 
immediately  blamed  by  unthinking  aristocrats,  who 
cared  nothing  for  democratic  progress.  But  that  prO' 
fession  could  not  prosper  except  under  a  naval  civil 
service  system,  which  gave  intelligent  training  to 
apprentices.  As  all  ownership  was  vested  in  the  state, 
there  were  no  more  appointments  by  favoritism  or 
nepotism  of  the  majority  of  stockholders,  and  no  longer 
did  older  men  have  to  serve  under  younger  men,  all 
of  whose  nautical  work  they  had  to  do,  and  whose 
errors  they  had  to  correct.  No  longer  did  captains 
flirt  with  millionaires  and  politicians;  no  longer 
occurred  collisions  at  sea.  In  my  day  the  chief  naval 
academy  of  the  United  States  had  been  on  land;  now- 
adays that  would  have  been  considered  a  joke.  Was 
it  any  wonder  that  these  idle  naval  students  hazed 
each  other,  when  their  energies  were  not  adequately 
employed  in  mastering  their  profession?  Indeed,  it  was 
no  wonder  that  such  of^cers  had  to  be  court-martialled 
for  letting  their  ships  collide,  or  go  on  the  rocks.  It 
would  have  been  much  better  if  they  had  spent  their 
years  of  training  on  ships  as  apprentices. 

But  still  further  use  was  made  of  the  time  on  ship- 
board formerly  wasted.  Even  in  my  day  tuberculous 
children  received  their  education  on  old  ferry-boats. 
In  modern  times  regular  college  courses  could  be  taken 


OCEAN  VOYAGE  REFORM  239 

on  board  ship,  which  applied  not  necessarily  to  short 
trips  of  a  week,  across  the  Atlantic,  but  to  longer  trips 
across  the  Pacific  and  Indian  Oceans  (although  the 
Indian  Peninsula  was  now  preferably  reached  overland 
by  train  via  Mesopotamia  and  the  Beluchistan  coast). 
These  educational  features  had  been  introduced  also  on 
long  railroad  trips,  such  as  the  Indian  and  Trans- 
Siberian. 

Superficially,  it  might  have  been  supposed  that  such 
educational  features  would  have  injured  the  present 
delightful  social  features  of  traveling.  Just  the  opposite 
was  the  real  state  of  afifairs.  Cicero  had  long  ago 
pointed  out  that  the  most  compelling  element  of  friend- 
ship is  common  educational  activities ;  and  this  had  been 
verified  by  college  friendships.  Consequently  on  these 
journeys  also  the  educational  elements  only  increased 
the  pleasures  of  traveling. 

This  educational  system  on  journeys  lent  itself  most 
readily  to  the  "finishing"  round  the  world  tour  exacted 
from  every  youth  and  maiden  preliminarily  to  gradua- 
tion. Personal  leadership  had  become  rare,  inasmuch 
as  the  ship's  officers  were  in  charge  and  handed  the 
pupils  over  to  the  new  captain  at  the  next  port.  Railroad 
conductors  acted  in  the  same  way,  and  for  the  stays  in 
towns,  the  Traveler's  Aid  societies  supervised  the 
students,  who  had  their  traveling  books  punched  and 
signed  up,  so  that  the  whole  course  of  the  travels  could 
be  regulated.  I  need  not,  however,  add  that  all  this 
entirely  arrested  hotel  robber  barons,  whose  establish- 
ments were  taken  over  by  the  state,  so  that  before  start- 
ing out  the  traveler  could  purchase  complete  tickets  for 
board,  lodging  and  transportation  all  around  the  habit- 
able globe,  including  cartage,  porterage,  and  all  minor 
expenses.     No  more  extortion  at  Jaffa! 

For  me,  sitting  aside  from  the  stream  of  life,  watch- 
ing the  seriousness  with  which  the  various  groups 
carried  on  their  work,  the  scene  at  first  was  diverting; 


240     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

but  just  as  soon  as  I  was  well  enough  to  attend  the 
travel-lectures,  with  all  their  practical  suggestions  of 
routes  and  facilities,  I  did  not  miss  a  single  one.  As  to 
the  notes  and  outlines,  I  did  not  consider  them  in  the 
light  of  an  infliction,  but  as  a  great  privilege  to  have  the 
opportunity  of  crystallizing  this,  knowledge,  and  having- 
it  corrected  by  experts. 

As  I  was  a  stranger  and  a  convalescent,  early  in  the 
trip  the  "social  committee"  came  to  ascertain  whom  I 
wished  or  needed  to  meet,  and  submitted  a  list  of  those 
on  board  for  me  to  examine.  So  I  was  not  left  alone, 
and  made  some  very  charming  acquaintances.' 

Seeing  I  was  languid,  they  did  not  pester  me  with 
questions  about  my  aches  and  pains,  but  tried  to  distract 
me.  They  represented  to  me  what  the  modern  "lady" 
and  "gentleman"  could  be.  They  were  not  richer  than 
anybody  else,  because  everybody  in  the  whole  world  was 
on  the  same  salary  schedule.  It  was  not  the  chivalry 
of  my  early  days,  in  Germany,  with  low  bows  from 
the  waist,  a  little  swagger,  and  a  little  swinging  of  the 
cane  (the  remainder  of  the  sword  generally  worn  in  the 
previous  century).  Even  in  my  day,  in  the  United 
States,  where  theoretically  all  men  were  equal,  a  certain 
democratic  culture  had  arisen  among  such  as  desired 
culture  for  its  own  sake.  Yet  even  so  there  remained  a 
certain  respect  for  crests,  titles,  money  and  position. 
The  new  culture  rested  not  even  on  the  desire  for  social 
advancement,  but  on  inherent  fineness;  a  fearlessness 
that  was  good  to  see,  a  certain  serene,  unafraid  clear- 
eyedness  that  our  artists  used  to  associate  with  angels. 
The  dignity  of  labor  shed  a  radiance  which  was  the 
very  thing  whose  lack  was  deplored  by  Edwin  Markham 
in  his  "Man  with  the  Hoe ;"  for  overmuch  labor  is  worse 
than  none  at  all.  In  their  conversation  there  was  a  racy 
tang  of  unaffected  internationalism,  and  a  breadth  of 
humor,  which  was  lacking  in  the  national  type  of  my 
day.      In  my  days  many  gentlemen  were  unthinkable 


i 


OCEAN  VOYAGE  REFORM  241 

apart  from  their  palatial  homes,  country  seats,  art  collec- 
tions, which  they  exhibited  with  some  slight  condescen- 
sion, their  family  trees,  their  government  relatives, 
and  so  forth.  Of  all  of  this,  modern  people  had  nothing 
to  boast,  for  mere  possessions  were  considered  as  vulgar 
as  they  were  selfish.  In  international  translation,  if  not 
in  the  original,  they  had  read  the  poetry,  drama  and 
romance  of  all  literatures.  The  scenery  of  every  con- 
tinent was  familiar  to  them,  so  that  their  conversation 
was  free  from  bragging  of  having  the  tallest  building 
in  the  world,  the  most  expensive  city  hall,  or  the  most 
extensive  stock-yards.  They  had  met  the  great,  good 
and  wise  of  every  continent,  and  showed  neither  prejud- 
ices, nor  snobbishness.  The  "simple  life"  was  the  most 
stylish;  and  to  teach  it,  it  was  not  found  necessary  to 
have  liveried  flunkies,  as  did  Pastor  Wagner.  Nor  were 
they  proud  of  this  culture,  because  it  was  supposed  to 
be  the  heritage  of  every  individual.  Their  attitude  was 
one  of  counseling  with  you,  for  every  person  was  con- 
sidered an  oracle  of  God.  Of  everyone  there  was 
expected  a  certain  amount  of  psychical  research,  and  all 
lived  as  in  the  shadow  of  the  unseen.  One  of  the  topics 
of  perpetual  interest  was  the  most  recent  news  of  com- 
munications with  other  planets,  and  of  itself  that  implied 
a  new  conception  of  the  soul,  and  of  the  destiny  of  the 
universe. 

What  struck  me  most  perhaps,  was  the  unconscious 
appreciation  of  the  comparative  view-point.  By  this  I 
mean  the  opposite  of  the  medieval  view-point  in  which 
were  laid  down  as  verities  certain  things  which  had  to 
be  learned  without  any  deviation,  usually  memorized, 
like  the  creeds  of  the  churches.  In  my  days  the  com- 
parative view-point  began  to  arise;  namely,  that  you  do 
not  know  any  one  thing  until  you  know  several.  For 
instance,  prayer  is  often  considered  a  single  action, 
whereas  it  really  is  a  habit.  I  once  heard  the  story  of  a 
country  persori  at  a  party  who  was  asked  if  she  could 


242     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

play  the  piano.  "Of  course,  I  can  play  as  well  as  any- 
body else,  but  I  have  never  tried."  For  instance,  suppos- 
ing that  at  a  party  mental  transference  should  be  tried. 
A  and  B  succeed,  and  for  the  rest  of  their  natural  lives 
claim  successful  ability.  C  and  D  fail,  and  for  the  rest 
of  their  lives  think  themselves  failures.  Now  if  all  four 
had  each  made  a  hundred  trials,  and  taken  the  percentage 
of  successes,  it  might  well  be  that  C  and  D  might  have 
a  higher  one  than  A  and  B.  Again,  in  my  days  "com- 
parative literature"  meant  a  comparison  of  half  a  dozen 
authors,  chosen  at  random,  or  the  comparative  literature 
of  some  one  language,  but  not,  as  it  should  have  been, 
and  as  one  unrecognized  author  in  my  day  tried  to  point 
out  in  his  "Spiritual  Message  of  Literature,"  the  com- 
parison of  the  literature  of  all  languages.  It  was  this 
international  viewpoint  in  every  department  of  life,  that 
impressed  me.  This  was  real  sonship  of  God.  These 
then  were  the  human  race's  first  real  representatives, 
impossible  before  the  "parliament  of  man,  and  federa- 
tion of  the  world." 

Historically,  this  internationalism  had  been  founded 
on  the  misfortune  of  various  races.  The  enslavement 
of  the  Greek  philosophers  broadened  out  their  masters, 
the  Romans  and  the  Celtic  races  spread  as  far  as  xA.sia 
Minor  chiefly  as  slaves.  Then  there  were  the  Hebrews 
who  learned  culture  under  compulsion  in  Egypt,  Baby- 
lonia and  the  Roman  Empire;  and  achieved  a  new 
prominence  by  the  victory  of  Christianity  at  Pentecost. 
Later  they  spread  through  the  Holy  Roman  Empire,  the 
British  Empire  and  the  United  States,  their  financial  suc- 
cess laying  the  basis  of  international  finance.  There  were 
other  international  influences,  such  as  the  Poles,  the 
Gypsies,  and  Buddhism,  whose  chief  success  depended 
on  their  being  dispersed.  Then  there  was  humanism, 
the  reformation,  philosophy,  and  scientific  specialties, 
and  officially,  the  universal  postal  system. 

Strange  to  say,  the  most  impotent  international  influ- 


OCEAN  VOYAGE  REFORM  243 

ences  were  the  religious,  which,  if  they  had  possessed 
any  vitahty  should  have  prevented  the  world-war;  but 
Christianity  defended  slavery  and  German  autocracy 
just  as  cheerfully  as  it  was  later  claimed  to  support 
democracy.  Still  its  influence  spread  certain  common 
words  and  conceptions,  which,  after  the  war,  healed  its 
wounds.  But  of  all  the  alleged  influences  of  internation- 
alism, the  most  inefficient  were  the  "Socialists,"  who 
permitted  themselves  to  be  used  as  the  tools  of  autocracy 
to  ruin  democracies,  as  they  did  in  Russia,  for  pay.  The 
German  Emperor  William  had  encouraged  them  for 
many  years,  because  he  had  understood  how  ignoble, 
stupid,  and  infamous  a  lot  of  cowards  they  were;  and 
he  knew  as  they  later  showed,  that  they  would,  like 
Judases,  betray  humanity  at  the  first  call  for  soldiers  for 
autocracy.  Had  they  not  been  blinded  by  conceit,  they 
would  have  reflected  that  encouragement  by  their  arch- 
enemy the  autocrat  was  no  compliment;  but  perhaps 
they  were  conscious  of  being  traitors. 

Dr.  Willow  came  to  chat  with  me  every  day,  and 
with  him  I  discussed  all  these  matters.  I  asked  him 
definitely  whether,  in  the  new  civilization,  there  was  any 
recognition  of  a  class  of  the  better  men  and  women,  as 
in  our  "ladies"  and  "gentlemen."  He  said  that  this 
refinement  could  not  be  produced  by  any  external  order 
or  garb,  but  that  it  was,  as  in  my  day,  something  which 
any  person,  at  any  stage  of  his  career,  could  become; 
and  the  uniform  conditions  of  life  permitted  many  to 
attain  to  it.  But  it  could  not  be  a  recognized  rank  or 
order,  for  then  people  would  again  mistake  the  outer 
for  the  inner.  Of  course  the  three  grades  of  efficiency, 
distinguished  by  red,  green  and  blue  trimmings  on  the 
mantles,  did  emphasize  this  character-development.  But 
it  could  not  be  incorporated  into  that  system,  for  many 
gentlemanly  and  ladylike  persons  were  not  endowed 
with  an  extraordinarily  keen  and  efficient  intellect,  and 
conversely.     In   my  days,   many  were   refined   because 


244     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

culture  had  a  cash  and  a  social  value;  now  it  had  no 
value  except  its  own  reward,  —  that  is,  unless  we 
counted  the  highest  reward  of  all :  selection  to  be  a  sage, 
by  the  International  College  of  Sages. 

This  honor  was  organized  somewhat  on  the  model  of 
the  Romanist  cardinalate.  These  were  chosen  not  merely 
among  the  bishops,  nor  even  merely  among  the  priests, 
but  even  among  the  deacons.  It  was  a  recognition  of 
the  truth  that  the  kingdom  of  heaven  is  not  organized 
on  the  same  lines  as  the  earthly  governmental  civil 
service  systems.  Many  who  cannot  be  advanced  among 
men  may  be  saintly  and  wise;  indeed,  of  the  saviour  of 
humanity  it  was  said,  that  others  he  could  save,  but  not 
himself.  Human  judgment  is  fallible,  many  are  born 
among  the  wrong  associations,  who  even  under  intelli- 
gent modern  conditions  could  not  find  their  best  sphere 
of  action.  So  the  international  council  of  sages  chose 
its  members  from  all  over  the  world  by  unadvertised 
inspectors,  and  by  intuitional  and  inspired  insight. 
These  were  invited  to  the  capital  where  they  were  initi- 
ated into  sageship,  and  henceforth  they  wore  a  wreath 
of  flowers,  and  returned  to  live  in  their  old  home,  there 
to  keep  alive  the  tradition  of  an  invisible  realm  of  wis- 
dom. Their  qualifications,  of  course,  were  not  adver- 
tised; but  it  was  understood  that  they  had  to  have  ful- 
filled all  parental,  educational  and  social  duties,  to  be 
instinct  with  sacrificial  spirit,  and  to  have  achieved  some 
private  contact  with  the  invisible  world,  and  above  all 
to  typify  ideal  courtesy  and  honor. 

On  ship-board  was  a  group  of  these  sages,  holding 
a  council.  They  were  so  revered  that  few  ever  men- 
tioned them,  considering  them  a  fortunate  race  of  geni- 
uses, or  semi-divinities.  Personally,  they  were  friendly, 
unassuming,  helpful.  They  were  admitted  to  any  group 
with  welcome,  and  needed  no  introduction.  If  anybody 
had  some  grief  or  aspiration  he  would  confide  it  to  some 
one  of  them,  and  was  always  sure  of  sympathetic  advice. 


OCEAN  VOYAGE  REFORM  245 

Some  of  them  belonged  even  to  the  lower  efficiency 
classes;  but  they  were  just  as  satisfied  with  the  lower 
salary  as  others  were  to  forego  the  approval  of  the 
sages'  council. 

In  dealing  with  all  these  modern  people  I  felt  at  first 
very  much  cowed ;  but  I  later  discovered  that  by  merely 
judging  of  everything  naturally,  with  good  taste  and 
modesty,  I  could  keep  up  my  end  of  the  conversation, 
or  rather,  of  my  instruction;  for  although  the  physical 
inventions  of  the  modern  age  had  indeed  interested  me, 
it  was  this  cultural  progress  that  made  me  most  feel 
how  much  of  a  savage  I  was,  and  that  the  chief  progress 
of  humanity  must  be  along  cultural  and  spiritual  lines. 

This  boat-trip,  therefore,  was  one  of  the  most  import- 
ant educational  experiences  of  my  life.  That  was  one 
reason  why  when  Auckland  finally  rose  out  of  the  ocean, 
no  one  was  sorrier  than  I ;  besides,  it  meant  the  comple- 
tion of  definite  separation  from  my  benefactress  Rose. 
She  was  ever  present  to  my  spirit,  and  I  wondered 
whether  by  this  time  she  had  reaped  the  fruit  of  my  self- 
effacement,  by  a  happy  life-settlement.  But  in  useless 
remorseful  dreaming  of  that  lost  paradise  lay  madness. 
I  knew  that  we  must  part,*  for  between  us  stood  the 
flaming  arch-angel  of  her  welfare. 


CHAPTER  XXIV 

INTERMARRIAGES  AND  MISSIONS 

On  arriving  near  land  I  was  compelled  to  come  to 
some  decision  as  to  my  future  course.  Dr.  Willow 
Socialise!  had  invited  me  to  visit  his  home  at  Dunedin. 
I  imagine  that  he  also  was  interested  in  me  from  a 
medical  standpoint,  for  he  had  read  of  me  in  profes- 
sional journals;  and  he  could  have  had  me  under 
observation  while  showing  me  the  wonders  of  his  coun- 
try. On  my  part  I  should  have  liked  to  see  the  glory 
peas  and  tree-fern,  and  eaten  the  edible  fern.  More 
important,  I  would  have  liked  to  see  at  first  hand  the 
descendants  of  those  who  in  my  day  had  formed  a  state 
which,  like  Switzerland,  was  a  model  of  good  govern- 
ment, and  considered  one  of  the  most  enlightened  coun- 
tries. Dr.  Socialiset  told  me  that  this  was  partly  due 
to  his  home's  secluded  nature.  But  seeing  sights,  or 
studying  politics,  were  not  my  object. 

For  this  same  reason  I  did  not  accept  the  invitation 
of  my  cultured  friends  the  Socialibuns,  whose  home 
was  in  the  comparatively  recent  capital  of  the  Australian 
federation,  and  who  were  anxious  for  me  to  witness  the 
pulsing  heart  of  one  of  the  most  favored  continents  of 
our  globe.  None  of  the  elements  of  greatness,  success 
or  culture  were  missing.  A  temperate  climate,  flat  lands, 
undisturbed  ocean  communications,  and  good  old  Eng- 
lish stock  without  unnecessary  and  hampering  aristocratic 
traditions  had  produced  political  poise.     I  was  indeed 

later   to    discover    that   this   was   practically    the   only 

246 


INTERMARRIAGES  AND  MISSIONS     247 

remaining  stronghold  of  the  Anglo-Saxon  race,  about 
the  miraculous  destiny  of  which  commencement  orators 
used  to  indulge  in  pyrotechnics. 

What  was  the  most  striking  difference  in  the  civiliza- 
tions of  New  Zealand  and  Australia?  Australia  was 
the  busier  commercial  place ;  its  democracy  had  to  solve 
problems  far  more  varied  and  difficult,  and  it  was  far 
more  international  in  tone.  Local  patriotism  was  here 
far  stronger  than  in  many  other  continents.  In  the 
world-parliament  Australia  was  known  for  making  the 
greatest  number  of  protests,  and  proposing  the  greatest 
number  of  innovations.  Though  in  size  it  was  the  tail 
of  the  political  canine,  this  same  tail  never  hesitated  to 
try  to  wag  the  whole  social  organism.  I  felt  that  if  I 
was  to  enjoy  a  trip  anywhere,  it  would  be  here. 

However  I  found  the  strength  to  say  farewell  to  all 
my  friends,  and  took  the  high-speed  train  on  the  eastern 
coast,  past  Sydney,  Melbourne  and  many  other  places 
to  Somerset  on  the  extreme  point  of  the  Cape  York 
peninsula.  From  here  I  intended  to  start  my  private 
flying  trip  among  the  Polynesian  islands,  to  find  a  peace- 
ful refuge  for  the  declining  months  of  my  career. 

I  was  put  across  Torres  Straits  in  the  regular  boat 
that  crossed  weekly ;  and  I  found  myself  in  New  Guinea, 
no  longer  a  Joseph's  coat  of  spheres  of  influence,  but 
an  international  administrative  unity.  I  was  not  inter- 
ested in  ethnology,  or  I  should  have  studied  the  natives, 
who  have  all  been  civilized,  and  who  have  here,  in  the 
largest  island  in  the  world,  bar  Australia,  created  a 
very  prosperous  state.  I  was  mildly  amused  at  the 
natives'  woolly  hair,  the  acacia,  the  ebony,  the  palms, 
the  pigeons  and  cockatoos,  the  birds  of  paradise,  and 
the  tree-kangaroos.  The  Papuan  civilization  had  im- 
proved. In,  my  days  the  tribes  lived  in  the  separation 
of  enmity;  and  missionaries  were  scandalized  that  these 
separate  tribes  did  not  have  any  satisfactory  notion  of 
a  supreme  divinity.     How  could  they?    The  Hebrews 


248     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

themselves  clung  to  their  teraphim  until  after  their  dis- 
persion among  highly  developed  civilizations.  In  my 
days  the  official  German  Lutheran  God  was  appealed  to 
by  the  chief  autocrat,  in  federation  with  the  Mahometan 
Allah,  resignation  to  the  tyrannous  rule  of  whose  vice- 
regent  was  the  chief  doctrine  of  that  religion  of  the 
murderous  tribes  that  slaughtered  the  non-resisting 
Armenian  Christians.  Here  was  a  veritable  Moloch, 
who  could  in  no  wise  be  identified  with  the  divinity  of 
the  democracies.  Not  until  the  world  was  federalized 
did  a  practical  universal  divinity  exist  in  the  souls  of 
men;  and  now  that  this  was  universally  recognized, 
modern  thinkers  felt  incapable  of  absolving  of  hypocrisy, 
or  of  a  mental  "blind  spot"  those  who  claimed  belief  in 
a  universal  divinity,  while  keeping  up  all  sorts  of 
divisions  national,  sectional,  racial,  and  social. 

This  great  union  did  not,  however,  imply  intermar- 
riage of  races.  There  was  no  more  incentive  to  do  so, 
as  the  unified  state  forbade  any  mutual  scorn  or  jealous- 
ies; so  that  every  one  was  free  to  follow  his  fancy,  and 
it  is  evident  that  every  race  would  prefer  its  own  ideals. 
Nor,  with  the  wide  opportunities  for  selection,  did  any 
white  girl,  for  instance,  ever  marry  a  man  of  another 
race  merely  because  that  was  the  only  opportunity  that 
had,  or  might  come  to  her.  In  most  cases  of  inter- 
marriage it  is  not  the  victim  of  circumstances  that 
should  be  blamed,  but  the  undeveloped  social  conditions 
that  drove  her  to  despair.  Logic  should  have  shown 
my  contemporaries  that  it  was  unreasonable  to  expect 
ideal  love  marriages  in  a  world  whose  guiding  principle 
was  money,  cheating,  influence,  and  abandonment  of  the 
unfortunate.  It  was  as  foolish  as  Hobbes'  plan  of  pro- 
ducing an  honest  state  by  perfectly  balancing  the  inter- 
ests of  rascals. 

It  was  only  the  inspiration  of  ideal  democratic  religion 
that  could  supply  the  main-spring  of  ideal  love.  The 
famous  (or  infamous?)  passions  of  Abelard  and  Heloise 


INTERMARRIAGES  AND  MISSIONS     249 

were  sickly,  etiolated  plants  that  could  bloom  only  in 
places  so  unnatural  as  monasteries.  The  loves  of  Dante 
and  Petrarca  were  merely  fictitious  poetical  rhodomon- 
tades.  Mrs,  Browning's  version  of  the  Portuguese  nun 
was  certainly  not  manly,  and  her  husband's  cacophonous 
lucubrations  were  mostly  unintelligible,  as  Whitman's 
should  have  been,  more's  the  pity!  But  what  could  you 
expect  under  the  sway  of  chance  and  sinister  social 
taboo?  When  the  only  happiness  possible  was  superfici- 
ality or  despair?  The  new  age  had  aroused  greater, 
broader  poetry,  and  love  ditties  were  no  longer  sickly, 
mawkish  effusions,  but  master-songs  of  the  kind  of 
Bayard  Taylor's  lines  to  the  Mistress  of  Cedarcroft. 
There  was  also  a  famous  drama  of  the  developing  forms 
of  love  by  a  celebrated  Lincolnian  author. 

The  greatest  problem  in  the  civilization  of  Papua  was 
of  course  the  education  of  the  woolly-headed  Papuans. 
When  we  speak  of  democracy,  we  mean  the  equality  of 
the  equally  educated,  married,  and  productive  human 
being.  It  was  part  of  the  missionary  activities  of  the 
youthful  college  student,  during  his  vacations,  to  lure 
the  less  educated  into  the  intellectual  pleasures  of  the 
civilized  condition.  The  missionary  fervor  of  the  Chris- 
tian religion  had  not,  by  any  means,  been  lost;  it  had 
only  become  systematized  and  clarified.  Originally,  of 
course,  the  chief  object  of  missions  had  been  to  obtain 
lip-confession  to  a  creed;  and,  if  indeed  eternal  torments 
had  thereby  been  evaded,  the  tortures  of  the  inquisition 
had  been  favors,  and  St.  Francis  Xavier  had  been  right 
to  pass  a  cloth  over  the  heads  of  babes  exposed  on  the 
banks  of  the  Ganges.  Later  in  my  days,  missionaries 
had  carried  to  the  benighted  heathen  medical,  educational 
and  social  improvements. 

The  religion  of  democracy  had  caught  the  fire  of  the 
self-sacrifice  of  the  Christian  missionary,  for  without  a 
soul  any  sort  of  establishment,  even  a  commercial  or 
educational  one,  must  perish.     However  thorough  the 


250     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

establishment  of  any  financial,  social  or  cultural  activity, 
the  New  Jerusalem  can  never  persist  statically;  and 
that  is  why  it  is  best  represented  as  a  bride  descending 
out  of  heaven,  not  as  a  matron.  The  reason  is  that  the 
next  generation  is  ever  afresh  born  ignorant,  and  in 
each  new  soul  must  be  lit  the  sacred  fire.  This  cannot 
be  done  by  any  routine  machinery.  As  fire  is  started 
only  by  friction  —  of  matches  or  stick-drilling,  —  so 
human  aspiration  and  unselfishness  can  be  gamed  only 
by  personal  influence.  Desire  for  education  may,  to 
some  extent,  be  aroused  by  making  dependent  thereon 
all  political  advancement.  This  was  most  definitely  done 
in  Germany,  in  the  case  of  the  einjahrige  soldier  service; 
but  what  was  the  result?  After  the  passing  of  the  gym- 
nasium examination  the  youth  went  to  the  university, 
where  he  was  not  strictly  supervised,  as  before,  and  the 
average  youth  sank  into  several  years  of  intemperance, 
until  the  suddenly  emancipated  youth,  if  he  did  not  sink, 
found  his  own  bottom.  Mere  egoistic  advantages, 
therefore,  are  not  sufficient  to  attract  the  ignorant  to 
the  Pierian  spring.  So  long,  therefore,  as  new  genera- 
tions arise,  there  will  be  need  of  missionaries,  apostles 
of  true  culture,  messengers  of  sweetness  and  light  in 
the  service  of  the  "Missioner  of  Eternity,"  as  Gerald 
Massey  puts  it. 

What  was  to  be  done  with  the  Papuans  ?  In  Lincolnia, 
long  ago,  we  had  the  problem  of  the  redskins.  At  first 
they  were  slaughtered,  shut  up  in  reservations,  and 
victimized  by  disreputable  government  agents,  until  the 
popular  conscience  was  aroused.  Then  the  reservations 
were  opened,  and  the  only  Indians  who  survived  were 
those  who  settled  down  to  agriculture,  bead  industries, 
newspaper  reporting  or  baseball.  Carlisle  and  kindred 
institutions  developed  those  that  were  assimilable  into 
union  with  the  white  race,  allowing  the  Ramonas  to 
degenerate  into  extinction. 

How  did  the  modern  world  improve  this  problem? 


INTERMARRIAGES  AND  MISSIONS     251 

In  my  days,  there  had  been  organizations  to  clear  certain 
tracts  of  country  of  certain  pests,  by  offering  bounties 
for  the  pelts  of  certain  undesirable  animals.  In  Europe, 
for  instance,  wolves  had  been  exterminated,  except  in 
the  Ardennes  and  Russia.  In  Lincolnia,  rattle-snakes 
had  gradually  been  eliminated,  then  certain  pests,  like 
the  wheat  rust,  that  had  invaded  the  barberry  bushes. 
Rockefeller  had  established  international  destruction  of 
the  hook-worm  disease.  Such  international  quests  were 
in  the  purview  of  the  international  government;  but 
every  state  had  charge  of  its  own  undeveloped  races. 
As  among  the  Mormons,  every  youth  was  expected  to 
spend  his  college  vacations  as  a  friendly  missionary  to 
the  undeveloped  races  in  his  own  country.  This  not 
only  educated  the  hopelessly  backward,  but  brought 
home  to  the  young  progressives  who  till  then  had 
accepted  all  the  benefits  of  civilization  as  their  right, 
without  much  appreciation  or  gratitude,  the  need  of 
development,  and  the  largeness  of  human  charity.  Also, 
the  lazy  were  thereby  warned  that  their  only  claim  to 
superiority  —  and  higher  salary,  —  was  the  higher 
education  they  failed  to  appreciate.  These  undeveloped 
people  received  therefore  only  the  salary  of  the  lowest 
efficiency-grade,  which  was  considerably  lower  than  that 
of  the  higher.  However,  they  could  not  entertain  any 
bitterness  on  this  score,  as  the  way  to  higher  rating  lay 
as  open  to  them  as  to  descendants  of  other  races. 

This  university  settlement  method  was  the  way  in 
which  the  negro  problem  in  Lincolnia  was  finally  settled. 
To  have  two  races  live  in  the  same  country,  the  same 
towns  and  streets,  and  yet  remain  separate  in  caste, 
was  unthinkable;  and  it  led  to  riots,  which  could  never 
claim  to  be  the  final  solution.  Doing  away  with  all 
causes  of  intermarriage,  educationalization  of  the  dif- 
ferences between  the  races  set  the  problem  on  the  stable 
basis  of  every  other  institution,  and  cleared  away  all 
antagonism. 


252     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

In  Papualand,  therefore,  the  state  had  organized  a 
sufficient  number  of  "university  settlements,"  through 
which  the  aborigines  were  being  reclaimed  to  a  brilliant 
future.  Moreover,  many  of  them  showed  great  ability, 
and  the  greater  number  of  the  leading  public  men  were 
descendants  of  that  race.  In  New  Zealand,  the  state 
mission  was  to  the  Maoris ;  in  Australia  to  the  bushmen ; 
but  here  in  Papua  this  mission  was  of  far  greater  im- 
portance, because  of  the  greater  number  of  the  aborig- 
ines, and  the  smaller  numbers  of  the  white  race. 

In  Papua  I  was  well  received,  for  my  snow-white 
hair  harmonized  with  the  local  racial  peculiarities,  as 
also  did  my  dark,  wrinkled  skin.  Nevertheless  I  had 
no  desire  to  re-engage  in  the  warfare  of  civilization, 
as  would  have  inevitably  taken  place,  had  I  remained. 
I  felt  that  I  owed  it  to  myself  to  find  a  quiet  retreat, 
where  for  at  least  some  months  peace  might  lull  my 
senses  to  a  final  rest.  I  therefore  visited  the  Moluccas, 
Celebes  and  across  the  straits  of  Macassar  to  Borneo, 
and  then  to  Java,  where  I  hoped  to  find  a  refuge  in  the 
gigantic  Boro-Boedver  Buddhist  pagoda.  But  this  was 
too  populous  a  place ;  so  that  I  retraced  my  steps  towards 
the  Sulu  Islands. 


EPISODE  FOURTH 
THE  COMING  WORLD-CAPITAL 


CHAPTER  XXV 
FUTURE  TRAVEL  AND  WAY-SIDE  INNS 

I  had  arrived  in  Siassi,  in  the  Sulu  Sea,  and  enjoyed 
my  journey  very  much  in  this  land  where  the  birds  have 
no  song,  and  most  flowers  no  fragrance.  This  is  the 
home  of  orchids,  of  all  colors,  red,  purple  and  violet. 
Here  nature  seems  upside  down;  the  deer  are  so  small 
as  to  be  called  the  mouse  deer,  while  the  cockroaches 
are  three  inches  in  diameter,  and  the  bats  as  large  as 
young  eagles. 

It  was  my  habit  to  run  along  in  my  tricycle  from 
dawn  till  the  heat  grew  too  intense.  Then  I  would  get 
into  the  shade,  and  lie  down  until  the  cool  of  the  eve- 
ning. In  this  country  the  food  problem  was  not  serious, 
for  I  could  find  ripe  fruits  enough  to  carry  me  over 
until  the  evening.  It  was  in  this  way  that  I  passed 
through  island  after  island,  directing  my  course  by  map 
and  compass.  I  would  then  arrange  to  pass  the  night 
at  a  government  rest-house,  such  as  had  been  erected 
every  ten  miles  along  the  government  highways  all  over 
the  globe. 

Of  course,  these  were  not  elaborate  affairs.  Often 
there    was   only   one    attendant,    who   combined    every 

2S3 


254     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

necessary  government  transportation  function :  tele- 
graph, telephone,  mail,  savings  bank,  express,  and  ticket 
office  for  the  government  alcohol  tricycles  that  daily 
passed  over  every  inch  of  post-road  in  the  world.  In 
them  rode  a  government  messenger  who  visited  every 
station  on  his  route  daily,  keeping  record  of  the  keepers' 
attendance,  acting  as  a  reporter  of  all  local  events  of 
significance,  and  as  fire  inspector  and  policeman.  This 
arrangement  extended  over  all  inhabited  countries,  and 
allowed  the  central  government  to  keep  in  touch  with 
every  spot  on  the  globe.  Of  course,  where  business 
warranted  it,  there  were  several  attendants,  and  elab- 
orate buildings;  but  the  minimum  served  to  make  travel 
over  the  whole  world  safe  and  comfortable. 

As  to  police,  it  became  largely  unnecessary  after  the 
establishment  of  world-wide  prohibition.  That  was 
indeed  the  state  of  affairs  in  many  "uncivilized"  coun- 
tries before  the  alleged  "civilized"  white  man  insisted 
on  introducing  fermented  liquors,  not  to  mention  opium, 
at  the  point  of  the  sword.  An  armed  force  of  some 
kind  was,  of  course,  necessary,  for  people  will  always 
get  angry,  fall  in  love,  become  sick,  go  insane,  or  be 
careless  enough  to  have  an  accident.  But  this  police 
was  more  of  a  medical  patrol,  rather  than  a  gang  of 
club-smashers.  These  government  guards  were  always 
accessible  by  wireless  telephone,  which  operated  through 
the  helmets  they  wore,  which  were  small  receiving 
stations.  This  was  far  better  than  have  them  wander 
around  aimlessly,  by  their  uniforms  frightening  away 
offenders,  where  they  should,  on  the  contrary,  be  detect- 
ing them.  While  waiting  for  calls,  these  officers  were 
engaged  doing  useful  clerical  work,  for  the  government, 
instead  of,  as  in  my  days,  playing  cards,  billiards  or 
nine-pins,  wasting  their  existence,  breeding  idleness, 
superciliousness,  and  imbecility,  not  to  speak  of  evil 
habits. 

In  my  days,  people  would  have  mottoes  painted  on 


TROWEL  AND  WAY-SIDE  INNS         255 

their  walls,  in  imitation  of  the  medieval  piety  of  the 
Swabians.  Later,  during  the  postal  card  craze,  the 
motto  habit  spread  to  individuals.  Then,  after  the 
federalization  of  the  world,  on  every  milestone  was  a 
proverb,  or  quotation,  for  the  traveller  to  meditate  on. 
during  the  next  mile.  Psychologically,  the  potency  of 
these  suggestions  was  increased  by  being  revolved  in  the 
mind  by  walking.  The  whole  road  was  composed  of  a 
systematic  connected  sequence,  so  that  a  journey  often 
consisted  of  a  curative  train  of  thought,  which  was  far 
more  intelligently  efficient  than  a  scala  sancta  progress 
consisting  of  a  repetition  of  the  same  prayers.  These 
trains  of  thought  were  adapted  to  the  special  cultural 
needs  of  the  neighborhood,  so  that  whole  districts  were 
thus  corrected  of  their  local  deficiency;  and  as  this 
changed,  so  were  also  the  mottoes.  Even  in  my  day, 
inscriptions  on  fountains  and  monuments  were  common ; 
but  now  they  had  become  universal,  and  it  was  found 
that  in  thinking  of  them  while  drinking  the  water,  they 
penetrated  into  the  very  recesses  of  the  being.  Principles 
of  democracy,  self-control,  charity  and  culture  were 
generally  chosen,  and  without  doubt  they  formed  one 
of  the  most  potent  dynamic  springs  of  democracy,  and 
political  liberty.  As  in  my  days  the  Lincolnians  had 
learned  to  doff  their  hats,  and  stand  up  during  the  sing- 
ing of  the  national  anthem,  so  it  was  now  a  principle 
of  good  breeding,  and  a  sort  of  recognition  of  the 
religion  of  democracy  for  persons,  on  passing  these 
inscriptions,  to  stop,  uncover,  repeat  the  sentiment,  utter 
a  short  hymn  to  liberty,  and  pass  on  reverently.  These 
places  were  therefore  very  carefully  chosen,  where 
there  was  shade,  or  good  views.  Here  were  found 
tablets  containing  extracts  from  the  writings  of  great 
men,  as  well  as  historic  generalizations,  or  helpful  out- 
lines. They  were  changed  as  frequently  as  the  location 
of  the  departments  in  the  Wanamaker  store,  and  the 
parties  of  young  people  who  changed  those  signs  thor- 


256     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

oughly  enjoyed  their  trips.  These  were  utilized  by 
couples  temporarily  engaged  to  get  acquainted  with  each 
other;  which  was  much  better  than  aimless  spooning  on 
park  benches  and  vulgar  Hudson  River  excursion 
parties,  sandwiched  in  with  a  maelstrom  of  yowling 
rowdies.  All  these  signs  were  written  in  both  the  local 
and  international  idioms. 

One  thing  which  I,  as  an  ancient  Lincolnian,  did  not 
regret,  but  was  glad  to  miss,  were  the  blatant  advertise- 
ments. ,  In  my  days  people  were  so  gullible  that  they 
did  not  stop  to  reflect  that  if  you  buy  something  that 
is  advertised  you  are  of  course  paying  for  the  advertise- 
ment also.  Personally,  I  do  not  think  that  I  had  ever 
bought  more  than  half  a  dozen  articles  that  I  had  seen 
advertised ;  but  judging  by  the  millions  spent  in  adver- 
tising, Barnum  must  have  been  right  in  claiming  that 
there  was  a  "sucker"  born  every  minute.  In  modern 
days,  all  necessary  news,  novelties  and  notices  were 
standardized,  and  promulgated  at  the  weekly  ward  meet- 
ings, so  that  in  modern  times  it  was  no  longer  necessary 
to  think  of  Schenck's  Mandrake  Pills  while  reviewing 
the  Palisades,  or  of  Larkin's  soap  in  gazing  at  the 
rapids  of  Niagara.  I  remember,  from  my  childhood,  in 
English  Hadleigh,  seeing  painted  on  a  rock  by  the  road- 
side, in  red  letters,  "Are  you  sure  that  you  are  not  going 
to  Hell?"  This  of  course  was  not  mercenary,  but  in 
execrable  taste. 

It  was  in  such  pleasant  observations  that  I  spent  the 
months  of  September  and  October  2027.  When  I  came 
to  a  narrow  strait  of  the  sea,  I  would  fly  over  it,  and 
start  my  trip  on  the  next  island,  I  did  not  stop  any- 
where, because  it  seemed  to  me  that  I  was  too  near  the 
equator.  Also,  I  felt  lonely.  Strange  perversity  of  the 
human  heart,  that  when  I  was  invited  by  those  charming 
Australian  friends,  I  refused,  wishing,  as  it  were,  to  be 
alone  with  my  dead :  my  own  wife  of  the  long  ago,  Mrs. 
Parker,  Lilac.  Orchid,  and  Rose.    Now  that  I  was  alone, 


TRAVEL"  AND  WAY-SIDE  INNS         257 

I  was  unhappy  at  my  solitude.  I  began  to  suspect  that 
I  would  not  be  happy  anywhere,  and  that  I  should  make 
up  my  mind  to  sail  for  the  Fiji  Islands,  and  take  pot- 
luck;  but  I  promised  myself  a  last  choice  of  hermitages 
in  the  Philippines,  which  interested  me  because  of  their 
once  having  been  under  the  influence  of  my  old  home, 
Lincolnia. 

I  was  resting  under  a  palm-tree,  preparatorily  to  flying 
across  the  straits  to  Zamboanga,  the  most  southern 
extremity  of  the  Philippines,  when  I,  happened  to  notice 
one  of  the  common  little  motor  tricycles  like  mine  com- 
ing towards  me  from  the  other  side.  Hardly  had  the 
occupant  risen,  however,  that  he  madly  swayed  and 
lurched  and  turned,  twisted  around  by  a  tornado,  whose 
outer  gusts  bent  the  trees  down  over  me  too.  From  the 
east  an  angry  black  cloud  was  careering.  Then  the 
ocean  churned  and  roared.  The  frail  air-craft  soon  dis- 
appeared from  view  entirely,  and  I  reflected  that  even  if 
its  occupant  had  safely  made  a  landing  on  the  water,  he 
could  never  float.  As  never  before  I  was  praying,  think- 
ing I  was  interceding  for  him,  when,  as  will  later  be 
seen,  I  was  really  praying  for  myself ;  but  then,  we  never 
know  for  whom  we  are  acting;  so  that  the  safe  rule  is 
to  do  good,  regardless  of  the  recipient.  As  suddenly 
as  the  hurricane  had  arisen,  so  suddenly  it  disappeared. 
Although  I  could  not  see  him,  I  started  on  my  tricycle, 
on  the  chance  that,  in  some  unknown  way,  I  might  be 
of  service.  Even  as  I  did  so,  I  was  quite  convinced  that 
any  effort  would  be  useless,  as  I  was  still  very  awkward 
in  making  landings  on  the  water;  so  I  expected  to  be 
swamped  in  making  the  attempt  under  the  present 
circumstances. 

To  tell  the  truth,  I  realized  that,  in  any  event,  my  life 
was  forfeit,  and  a  little  sooner  or  later  did  not  matter. 
In  risking  these  last  few  months  of  my  doomed  exist- 
ence, I  was  at  least  fulfilling  my  resolve  to  pass  on  to 
some  one  else  Rose's  gift  of  life.     Then  I  was  struck 


258      A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

by  the  strange  coincidence  that  Rose  should  have  suf- 
fered in  Buenos  Aires,  so  far  off,  that  salvation  might 
come  to  this  unknown  individual  in  the  Sulu  Straits. 
But  I  laughed  at  the  thought  for  it  was  by  no  means 
sure  that  he  would  be  rescued,  though  it  was  my  part 
to  make  the  desperate  attempt. 

Only  with  difficulty  did  my  quivering  machine  take 
the  air;  but  by  main  force  and  awkwardness  I  got  off 
to  a  fair  start.  Too  low  I  did  not  want  to  fly,  lest  I 
take  the  water  before  I  was  ready ;  nor  did  I  want  to 
soar  too  high,  lest  I  fail  to  perceive  any  possible  wreck- 
age. The  latter,  indeed,  I  succeeded  in  observing,  and 
I  noted  a  human  being  struggling  to  get  into  a  life- 
preserver.  Immediately  I  manoeuvered  to  alight  near 
him;  I  threw  out  the  water-shoes  under  each  wheel,  and 
was  just  about  to  effect  a  landing  when  from  the  side 
opposite  to  where  I  was  looking  surged  up  a  long 
comber,  throwing  my  machine  on  its  side.  In  view  of 
just  such  an  emergency,  I  had" unstrapped  myself,  and 
I  managed  to  grasp  my  own  life-preserver  as  I  was 
being  carried  away.  Then  the  machine  righted  itself, 
and  I  tried  to  climb  back.  For  some  time  I  could  do 
no  more  than  hold  on,  while  it  bobbed  around  with  its 
water-shoes  half  deflated  by  the  impact  of  the  first  wave. 
Of  course  the  wings  had  been  snapped  off;  but  the  rope- 
guides  dragged  them  along,  and  bid  fair  to  entangle  me. 
But  this  very  danger  saved  me,  because  unintentionally 
I  pulled  the  boat  sidewise  enough  to  throw  a  leg  over 
the  bar,  and  then  slowly  to  drag  myself  over  the  sway- 
ing side. 

Seated  once  again,  I  ventured  to  try  the  steering 
apparatus,  and  the  propeller;  and  against  all  expectation 
I  found  that,  though  very  slow,  the  craft  was  still  under 
control.  Quite  a  little  spying  around  was  needed  before 
I  again  located  the  life-preserver  with  its  precious 
human  freight;  but  just  as  I  had  decided  to  give  up 
hope  of  finding  it,  —  though  not  my  intention  to  con- 


TRAVEL  AND  WAY-SIDE  INNS         259 

tinue  searching  for  it,  as  I  felt  I  could  not  find  a  better 
way  of  finishing  my  existence,  so  fateful  had  it  proved 
to  others,  —  when  I  almost  collided  with  it.  Enough 
unconscious  presence  of  mind  to  snatch  after  it  was 
left;  and  I  was  rewarded  by  feeling  the  pull  of  a  cord. 
As  I  held  on,  I  heard  a  cry,  and  saw  a  yellow  face  in 
the  very  midst  of  the  canvas  circle  peering  at  me. 

Though  there  was  no  time  for  reflection,  my  childhood 
prejudices  about,  and  antipathy  against  the  yellow 
Orientals,  wrenched  my  heart;  but  after  all,  he  was  a 
human  being;  and  as  I  had  jeopardized  my  life,  there 
was  nothing  to  do  but  to  consummate  the  sacrifice. 
Besides,  I  was  startled  by  the  apparition  of  Rose  stand- 
ing on  the  waves  beside  him,  and  beckoning  to  me.  As 
I  realized  the  supernaturalness  of  this  hallucination,  and 
scanned  it  anxiously,  it  disappeared,  leaving  me  the 
spectacle  of  the  yellow  form  waving  at  me  his  arms, 
whenever  he  could  release  one  of  them  from  the  life- 
preserver  he  was  clutching.  So  I  tugged  away  at  the 
rope  till  my  machine  bent  over.  Gradually  he 
approached,  and  had  just  laid  hold  of  the  bottom  rail, 
when  unexpectedly  something  gave  way.  Entangled  in 
the  silk  parachute  that  had  without  my  knowledge  un- 
wound itself,  it  tore,  and  I  found  myself  once  more 
struggling  in  the  waves,  with  one  hand  on  the  rail  of 
the  opposite  side.  We  were  now  evenly  balanced,  he  on 
one  side,  and  I  on  the  other.  Apparently  it  was  a  choice 
of  lives,  for  the  machine  was  frail,  and  would  not  be 
likely  to  support  us  both.    Which  was  to  survive? 

Such  problems  are  not  unknown ;  witness  the  celebrated 
case  of  the  preacher  Talmadge,  who,  while  sailing  in  a 
row-boat  in  the  Philadelphia  Fairmount  Park  Spring 
Garden  water-works  dam-reach,  with  his  wife  and 
sister-in-law,  approached  too  near  the  dam,  so  that  the 
boat  capsized,  and  suddenly  he  was  faced  with  a  "lady 
or  the  tiger"  problem:  which  of  them  should  he  save? 
Of    course,    it   was   the    sister-in-law,    whom   he   later 


260     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

married.  On  us  both,  me  and  the  despised  Oriental, 
had  come  this  choice.  Whichever  one  of  us  climbed  in, 
would  draw  the  other  one  out  of  water,  probably  force 
him  to  let  go,  and  be  lost  in  the  welter  of  the  waves. 
A  gleam  of  recognition  of  this  problem  flashed  in  the 
yellow  face,  and  I  heard  him,  in  the  international  lan- 
guage, shout  for  me  to  hold  on ;  this  meant,  that  he  him- 
self was  ready  to  commit  the  supreme  sacrifice.  How- 
ever, to  be  balked  at  the  last  moment,  after  having  risked 
so  much  for  him,  did  not  suit  me.  The  vision  of  Rose 
had  decided  me  to  hand  over  the  torch  of  life,  which 
to  him  might  mean  years,  while  to  me  it  meant  at  most 
a  few  months.  Screaming  good-bye,  I  threw  up  my 
hands,  and  resigned  myself  to  the  current,  which  swept 
me  away  with  a  rush,  a  roar  and  a  choke,  and  a  burning 
of  my  eyes. 

This  seemed  to  result  in  a  suffused  purple  glow 
through  which  sweetly  smiled  at  me  Rose,  who  extended 
one  hand,  and  with  the  other  pointed  to  a  spirit  train 
consisting  of  Lilac,  and  Orchid,  and,  strange  to  say, 
Dr.  Policiver;  only  this  time  he  wa3  not  scowling,  but 
welcomed  me  to  the  friendly  circle.  Yet,  the  instant 
he  laid  his  hands  on  me,  all  around  me  rose  up  from 
the  ground  the  same  German  soldiers  who  in  the  long 
ago  had  broken  into  our  Red  Cross  hospital,  and  had 
infected  me.  These  began  pummelling,  squeezing,  and 
hazing  me.  At  the  point  of  the  bayonet  they  compelled 
me  to  do  the  goose-step  all  around  the  ward ;  they  made 
me  dance  and  do  vaudeville  stunts,  —  and  then  their 
faces  dissolved  into  those  of  active,  friendly  Filipinos, 
who  had  placed  me  over  a  barrel,  and  were  heroically 
working  over  my  resuscitation.  Behind  them  was  stag- 
gering around  the  yellow  man  who  had  clung  to  the 
opposite  side  of  my  machine.  Himself  supported  by 
rescuers,  he  was  anxiously  watching  the  progress  of  my 
recovery,  giving  directions  nobody  heeded,  peering  at 
me  with  a  fierce  intensity,  as  if  boring  through  my  form 


TRAVEL  AND  WAY-SIDE  INNS         261 

to  reach  my  consciousness,  to  draw  it  back  from  the 
Hmbo  of  dreams.  As  soon  as  he  saw  he  had  succeeded, 
he  uttered  a  great  cry  of  relief,  and  himself  fell  into  a 
faint.  I  too  once  more  lost  myself,  but  under  the  urge 
of  compulsory  respiration  I  greeted  the  blue  sky  and 
golden  sunshine  with  a  spell  of  sobbing,  repeating  over 
and  over,  "Why  did  you  not  let  me  die?" 

My  next  meeting  with  my  yellow  friend  was  in  the 
white  ward  of  a  Zamboanga  hospital.  From  neighbor- 
ing beds  we  exchanged  smiles  of  recognition ,  and 
friendly  good  will.  Then  followed  a  few  trite  inquiries, 
and  a  metaphorical  hand-shake,  before  our  nurses  hast- 
ened to  interrupt  us,  gave  us  light  nourishment,  and 
compelled  us  to  sink  back  into  the  creature  comfort  of 
sleep. 

Soon,  however,  we  were  allowed  to  sit  up  on  a  broad 
piazza,  overlooking  the  straits  in  which  we  had  so  nearly 
ended.  Piecing  together  what  I  heard  from  him  and 
the  nurses,  I  gradually  discovered  what  had  happened 
after  I  had  lost  consciousness.  On  seeing  me  relax  my 
grip  on  life,  my  yellow  friend,  whose  name  was  Acacia, 
had  climbed  in,  and  had  momentarily  managed  to  grip 
the  rope  of  my  life-preserver.  I  slipped  through  his 
hands,  but  not  before  this  short  hold  had  pulled  me 
through  the  impetus  of  the  wave  to  which  I  had  relin- 
quished myself.  By  the  time  I*  had  sunk  and  come  back 
to  the  surface,  he  had  recovered  control  of  the  machine. 
He  succeeded  in  keeping  near  to  my  floating  form  until 
reached  by  boats  that  had  set  out  from  the  shore, 
attracted  by  my  spectacular  swoop  into  the  waves. 
These  boats  picked  me  up,  and  brought  us  both  back  to 
safety,  so  that,  after  all,  my  efforts  had  not  been  in  vain. 

The  scene  before  us  was  so  new  to  me,  and  so  beauti- 
ful, that  I  lazily  postponed  all  inquiries  and  explana- 
tions ;  but  he,  proving  himself  the  stronger,  entertained 
me  with  an  account  of  who  he  was:  a  "federal  inspec- 
tor,"  sent   out   by   the   Asia   Minor   world-government 


262      A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

centre,  to  keep  these  island  communities  in  personal 
touch  with  the  means,  methods,  aims,  and  ideals  rec- 
ommended by  the  central  authorities.  While  this  gov- 
ernment inspection  was  world-wide,  it  was  more  needed, 
and  therefore  more  minute  in  this  Malay  archipelago. 
Because  of  the  geographical  location,  centralized  govern- 
ment was  here  very  difficult,  and  home  government 
very  imperfect,  because  of  the  difficulties  of  the  reclama- 
tion of  the  formerly  savage  tribes.  Acacia,  therefore, 
was  an  important  official,  as  was  shown  by  his  intelligent 
dignity,  his  quiet  authoritativeness ,  and  the  universal 
respect  he  elicited. 

For  so  many  months  had  I  ceased  to  talk  of  myself, 
that  I  might  never  have  revealed  my  checkered  career 
to  this  friend,  —  for  such  he  proved  himself,  as  indeed 
had  been  sufficiently  vouched  for  by  the  repeated  appari- 
tions of  Rose,  —  but  for  a  very  pressing  practical  neces- 
sity. In  the  accident  all  my  papers  had  been  lost,  and  I 
needed  a  duplicate  of  my  very  unusual  pension  order, 
my  other  identification  cards,  the  wherewithal  to  pro- 
cure a  new  outfit  to  continue  my  journey,  and  settle  for 
my  hospital  charges.  About  the  latter  he  told  me  I  need 
not  take  any  anxiety,  inasmuch  as  in  modern  times  the 
state  gratuitously  cared  for  all  genuinely  sick  persons. 
But  in  the  natural  course  of  events  I  would  be  dis- 
charged, and  would  need  an  identification  card,  even  to 
prolong  my  present  sojourn,  let  alone  continuing  my 
journey. 

To  my  intense  surprise,  therefore,  I  found  myself 
telling  this  stranger  a  story  which,  had  it  not  been 
recounted  to  me,,  I  would  have  characterized  as  of  the 
"cock-and-bull"  variety.  This  comparative  stranger, 
however,  was  most  sympathetic ;  and  his  intelligent  ques- 
tions not  only  helped  me  over  rough  places,  but  supplied 
details  that  explained  circumstances  which  I  myself  had 
never  clearly  understood,  —  as,  for  instance,  the  legal 
points  involved  in  the  museum-Policiver  law-suit,  and  to 


TRAVEL  AND  WAY-SIDE  INNS         263 

give  me  late  news  of  personalities  of  whom  I  had 
excellent  reasons  to  lose  sight. 

Lilac's  parents,  for  instance,  had  been  demoted  from 
their  supervisory  position,  both  because  of  their  misuse 
of  their  daughter's  affection,  and  their  attempt  to  retain 
control  of  my  private  fortune.  They  had  been  set  to 
arrange  collections,  and,  to  fill  their  cup  of  bitterness, 
to  take  charge  of  the  relics  of  my  strange  career.  Even 
though  in  modern  times  all  work  was  counted  the  same, 
yet  the  evident  disgrace  of  demotion  frorn  director  to 
subordinate  was  sufficient  to  break  down  their  health, 
and  soon  to  follow  into  the  Unknown  their  daughter 
Lilac. 

I  realized  how  fortunate  I  was  in  having  for  listener 
a  man  of  such  culture  that  my  unusual  story  was  received 
with  credence.  An  uneducated  person  would  have  im- 
mediately dismissed  it  as  impossible;  only  to  a  cultured 
person  do  subtler  philosophic  realms  exist.  That  is  no 
doubt  the  reason  why  God  alone  can  understand  us;  He 
alone  could  believe  the  incredible  and  fatal  coincidences 
of  life,  the  continuous  good  intentions,  no  less  continu- 
ously defeated,  and  the  temptations  that  are  secret  and 
incommunicable. 

Besides  my  friend's  ability  to  grasp  my  century-long 
obsolete  attitudes  of  thought  and  expression,  I  found 
him  so  well  informed  about  many  of  my  circumstances 
that  after  I  had  finished  there  arose  within  me  the  suspi- 
cion that  he  had  all  along  known  who  I  was,  and  what 
had  happened  to  me ;  and  I  told  him  as  much.  In  a  quiet 
way  he  smiled,  and  said  that  of  course  in  the  current 
world-news  he  had  heard  of  the  museum  story,  but 
he  had  not  heard  the  episode  connectedly,  and  he  wished 
to  hear  it  from  my  own  lips,  now  that  Providence,  — 
and  as  he  uttered  that  word  he  spoke  reverently,  as  if 
in  the  presence  of  a  higher  power,  —  had  brought  us 
into  personal  relations  of  friendship. 

As  he  said  so,  I  made  a  wry  face,  for  I  was  conscious 


264     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

of  very  mingled  motives  in  connection  with  my  present 
attitude  of  life.  As  I  sought  from  the  solace  of  friend- 
ship the  interior  relief  of  a  luxurious  self-expression, 
confession  being  good  for  the  soul,  I  told  him  that  while 
I  appreciated  the  honor  of  his  friendship,  nevertheless  I 
could  not  leave  him  under  false  impressions.  I  explained 
to  him  that  if  I  had  flown  to  his  rescue,  it  was  chiefly 
because  I  was  tired  of  living;  that  I  had  accepted  it  as 
a  good  means  of  paying  off  the  old  score  I  owed  to 
Rose;  that,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  if  I  had  managed  to 
save  him,  it  was  rather  in  spite  than  because  of  his  per- 
sonality, although  now  that  I  knew  him  personally,  and 
valued  him  as  a  friend,  the  reason  would  be  reversed. 
Nor  must  he  consider  me  brave,  because  in  the  first  place, 
it  had  needed  a  sort  of  special  vision  of  Rose  to  make 
me  embark  on  the  adventure;  and  then  I  revealed  to 
him  how  I  had  always  considered  myself  a  coward,  and 
that  the  successful  completion  of  the  undertaking  was 
not  only  a  surprise  to  me,  but  really  an  intense  relief, — 
to  discover  that,  under  stress,  I  could  have  been  as  cool 
as  anybody  else,  if  not  the  coolest. 

I  did  not  make  this  rather  painful  confession  without 
tears,  and  he,  too,  the  slant-eyed  Oriental,  as  he  gazed 
away  over  the  azure  straits,  with  a  far-away  expression, 
showed  a  suspicious  moisture  in  the  eyes. 

When  I  had  done,  he  took  my  hand,  and  said  that 
he  could  understand  my  feelings,  and  respected  them; 
but  that  if  the  truth  were  known,  even  the  bravest  are 
not  such  in  their  own  right,  —  unless  foolhardy,  or 
ignorant,  rushing  in  where  angels  fear  to  tread,  —  but 
chiefly  because  of  an  unrecognized  divine  afflatus.  At 
any  rate,  the  very  bravest  had  never  hesitated  to  acknowl- 
edge that  the  praise  was  due  not  to  themselves,  but  to 
the  divinity.  This  insight  fused  the  oriental  and  occi- 
dental view-points;  and  I  began  to  feel  what  the  world, 
for  a  century,  had  begun  to  acknowledge,  especially  since 
the  diminution  and  decadence  of  the  white  race,  —  that 


TRAVEL  AND  WAY-SIDE  INNS         265 

indeed  God  is  no  respecter  of  persons,  and  that  He 
accepts  whoever  worketh  righteousness. 

Thus  unexpectedly  was  formed  an  international  friend- 
ship, and  I  realized  more  than  ever  that  I  was  living  in 
a  new  age,  wherein  counted  nothing  but  personal  loyalty, 
culture,  and  spirituality. 

Life,  however,  is 'formed  of  contradictions;  for  no 
sooner  had  we  sealed  our  compact  with  a  right  vigorous 
pressure  of  the  hand,  when  he  besought  forgiveness  for 
apparent  desertion.  As  he  had  measurably  completed  his 
recovery,  he  must  now  complete  his  tour  of  inspection. 
For  me  it  would  be  well  to  stay  on  this  hospital  porch, 
to  recover  my  vigor.  During  this  time  my  identification 
papers  would  be  replaced.  When  he  returned,  he  would 
take  me  with  him  to  visit  the  world-capital,  Concordia, 
if  I  so  desired.  Then  with  another  hand-shake,  and  a 
friendly  nod,  he  was  gone! 


CHAPTER  XXVI 
THE  DOOM  OF  THE  WHITE  RACE 

For  the  next  six  weeks,  during  November  and  Decem- 
ber, my  time  was  spent  on  or  near  that  friendly  porch, 
gazing  at  that  glorious  view,  until  I  knew  by  heart  all 
the  phantasmagoria  of  tints  from  rosy-fingered  dawn  to 
rainbow  sunset;  and  in  the  moonlight  the  ever  rolling 
tide  glistened  and  glowed,  the  moonlight  path  leading 
straight  to  the  picturesque  and  fantastic  shore  opposite. 
But  this  gorgeous  spectacle  was  only  an  accompaniment 
to  meditation  on  my  fate,  my  new  friend,  his  words 
and  deeds. 

"Concordia,"  the  name  of  the  world-capital,  appealed 
to  me.  For  there  are  all  kinds  of  peace,  wTTich  word 
would  have  been  the  first  one  to  suggest  itself  as  a  name 
suitable  to  the  capital  of  the  federated  world.  An  Amer- 
ican iron-master,  whose  industry  profited  by  war,  had, 
once  built  and  endowed  a  Hague  "Temple  of  Peace." 
But  of  peace,  there  are  all  kinds.  Besides  the  biblical 
variety,  when  the  lion  shall  lie  down  with  the  lamb,  there 
is  the  pax  Romana,  where  the  swallowed  lamb  shall  lie 
down  within  the  lion's  gastronomic  cavity.  Then  there 
is  the  "peace  at  any  price,"  even  of  dishonor.  "Peace," 
therefore,  is  both  indefinite  and  static,  while  on  the  con- 
trary "concord"  is  dynamic;  for  where  the  hearts  agree 
there  is  no  difficulty  in  harmonizing  conflicting  interests. 

Another  matter  which  forced  itself  on  my  observation 

was   the   thinly   disguised   contempt   for   the  dwindling 

and  degenerating  white  race.   I  who  had  been  accustomed 

266 


THE  DOOM  OF  THE  WHITE  RACE     267 

to  look  on  them  as  the  destined  and  actual  lords  of 
creation  was  intrigued  to  discover  any  reasonable 
grounds  for  such  reprobation.  The  physicians  and 
nurses  were  so  considerate  that  they  never  broached  the 
subject;  and  I  knew  that  I  would  not  discover  their  real 
thoughts  if  I  introduced  the  antagonism  of  discussion. 
To  hear  the  truth  I  would  have  to  draw  them  out, 
entirely  repressing  my  own  feelings.  Painful  as  this  was, 
I  succeeded  in  getting  them  to  talk  freely  and  frankly. 

To  begin  with,  the  white  race  had  dwindled,  after 
committing  suicide  during  the  war  for  democracy,  in 
1914.  In  many  lands  they  had  become  the  minority, 
and  therefore  were  compelled  to  fit  themselves  to  the 
thoughts  and  habits  of  the  other  races,  which  had  gotten 
the  upper  hand.  It  was  the  case  of  the  picture  painted 
by  the  lion,  in  which  man  was  always  conquered,  instead 
of  the  men's  picture,  which  generally  depicted  the 
debacle  of  the  lion.  This  was  reminiscent  of  my  child- 
hood's arguments  about  the  future  of  the  red  race. 

Second,  if  no  longer  feared  or  hated,  they  were 
scorned  for  the  barbarities  they  had  practiced  on  each 
other,  as  well  as  upon  others.  How  much  easier  sticks 
evil,  than  good !  The  whole  white  race  was  disgraced 
for  the  infamous  barbarities  of  the  Germans  in  the  war 
for  democracy.  My  defence  that  the  rest  of  the  race 
loathed  and  opposed  those  methods  was  met  with  a 
reminder  of  history,  both  contemporary  and  ancient. 
Contemporarily  the  English  races  enjoyed  the  sports  of 
slugging;  the  Spanish,  bull  and  cock-fights;  and  the 
Germans  eating  and  drinking  contests.  In  the  past,  I 
had  to  admit  that  things  were  pretty  bad,  in  all  countries 
and  times.  To  begin  with,  the  Lincolnian  treatment  of 
the  Indians,  and  of  the  early  Pilgrim  persecutions  of 
other  religions,  and  the  Salem  witch-burnings.  The 
Romanists  had  their  Inquisition,  the  Protestants  their 
treatment  of  the  Romanists,  wherever  they  were  in  the 
ascendency.    The  Hebrews  were  tormented  on  all  hands. 


268     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

The  Huns  and  Vandals  had  made  their  names  synonym- 
ous with  robbery,  murder,  and  desecration.  The  wars 
of  religion  that  raged  for  over  four  hundred  years  had 
made  wounds  that  never  healed.  The  crusade  against 
the  Albigenses  was  pure  fratricide.  Napoleon  betrayed 
democracy,  and  thereby  lowered  the  army  standard  of 
France  by  a  foot.  The  French  and  Russians,  as  soon 
as  they  dreamed  of  democracy,  fell  into  the  Red  Terror. 
Alexander  destroyed  the  chief  dynasties  of  the  East 
merely  to  die  from  indigestion.  As  a  race  I  could  not 
deny  that  they  had  showed  themselves  quarrelsome, 
cruel,  vindictive  and  hypocritical ;  they  had  crucified 
their  own  saviour.  It  is  a  mistake  to  suppose  that  saviours 
have  to  be  crucified,  except  among  the  white  races.  Is 
it  any  wonder  that  the  race  had  committed  suicide  under 
the  leadership  of  William  of  Germany? 

Of  course,  I  tried  to  point  out  that  liberty  would 
never  have  won  the  day  if  the  rest  of  the  world  had  not 
joined  in  repressing  the  Huns ;  but  they  pointed  out  that 
it  was  only  by  overcoming  these  white  Huns  that  the 
federation  of  the  world  had  been  accomplished.  I  real- 
ized that  it  would  be  useless  for  me  to  try  to  change  the 
whole  world's  opinion.  What  a  pity  that  one  evil  deed 
makes  more  of  an  impression  than  a  thousand  good 
ones! 

Another  accusation  against  them  was  that  while  one- 
half  of  them  had  made  a  business  of  warfare,  the  other 
half  had  made  a  warfare  of  business,  so  that  where  the 
former  claimed  its  thousands  of  victims,  the  latter 
claimed  its  millions  of  sweat-shop  degenerates,  tuber- 
culous and  rachitic,  not  among  the  strong,  but  among 
the  children  and  the  women.  The  industrial  warfare  in 
factory,  mine  and  sweat-shop  was  inseparable  from 
competition,  where  the  devil  took  the  hindmost.  Under 
slavery,  the  master  at  least  cared  for  his  slave,  as  his 
property;  but  in  the  competition  of  my  days  there  was 
not   even  that  protection  to   the  producer,   as   in  the 


THE  DOOM  OF  THE  WHITE  RACE      269 

occupational  diseases  of  the  match-makers,  the  painters, 
and  miners.  The  murder  and  rapine  in  America  by 
Columbus  and  his  successors  had  been  avenged  by  the 
introduction  into  Europe  of  syphilis,  one  of  the  greatest' 
centres  of  which,  before  the  war,  had  been  Berlin. 

Another  serious  accusation  had  been  the  spreading, 
even  by  force  of  arms,  of  intoxicants,  opiates,  nicotine, 
hashish  and  chloral.  This  had  entirely  ruined  many*, 
friendly,  gentle,  communistic  aborigines,  such  as,  for 
instance,  the  Aleutian  islanders.  The  late  growth  of 
prohibition  during  the  war  was  commented  on  as  a  con- 
fession of  the  evil  permitting  intoxication;  and  I  had 
little  desire  to  answer. 

What  hurt  me  most  of  all,  however,  was  the  statement 
that  even  after  the  federation  of  the  world,  the  chief 
necessity  for  the  state's  keeping  of  an  armed  force  was 
to  keep  in  order  the  white  members  of  the  community. 
The  old  League  to  Enforce  Peace  had  received  its 
strongest  support  from  among  the  colored  races,  and  the 
only  country  whose  inhabitants  had  had  to  be  deported 
and  cowed  were  the  white  Germans. 

The  crowning  insult,  however,  was  the  patronizing 
assurance  that  gradually  the  white  were  being  improved ; 
and  as  the  modern  regulations  for  marriage  and  peace 
had  increased  their  numbers,  there  was  hope  that  the 
white  race  would  retrieve  itself,  although  there  was  an 
expression  of  fear  lest  they  should  ever  return  into 
ascendency,  and  again  introduce  slavery,  religious  perse- 
cution, intoxicants  and  competition.  That  was  the 
skeleton  in  the  closet  of  the  modern  world. 

It  is  only  with  sincere  grief  that  I  record  these 
prejudiced  views,  probably  the  only  instance  of  survival 
of  intolerance  and  error  I  met  in  the  modern  world. 

When  such  topics  of  conversation  finally  lost  their 
zest,  I  could  not  help  taking  and  expressing  a  genuine 
interest  in  the  organization  of  the  hospital  wherein  I 
had  experienced  so  much  kindness. 


270     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

I  remember  very  well  my  experiences  m  the  richest, 
largest  hospitals  of  my  day.  I  shall  not  even  mention 
the  German  hospitals,  where  the  sick  were  considered 
just  so  much  clinical  material,  to  whom  anaesthetics 
even  need  not  be  given.  Other  European  hospitals 
were  not  much  better.  While  no  purposive  cruelty  was 
practiced  in  American  hospitals,  the  absence  of  any 
religion  of  democracy  left  the  young  internes  careless, 
and  inclined  to  flirt  with  the  nurses.  The  latter,  on  the 
other  hand,  though  refined  and  educated,  were  compelled 
to  scrub  floors,  which  did  not  help  them  at  all  to  nurse 
the  sick.  If  you  were  a  pay  patient  at  ruinous  prices, 
too  much  could  not  be  done  for  you;  but  if  you  paid 
the  reasonable  board,  you  were  hectored  around 
remorselessly,  exposed  to  drafts,  and  treated  like  cattle. 

In  modern  times,  there  was  only  one  class  of  patients 
and  all  went  into  wards  except  those  whose  diseases 
demanded  seclusion.  The  wards,  however,  were  small; 
never  above  six  patients.  There  was  only  one  class  of 
food,  and  that  was  plain  and  good.  As  the  doctors  were 
paid,  not  by  the  number  who  were  sick,  but  by  the 
number  of  those  who  got  well,  it  was  to  their  interest 
to  cure  their  patients  as  quickly  as  possible.  Healing 
had  also  become  religion,  and  boti;  nurses  and  doctors 
daily  joined  in  prayers  to  be  led  to  do  the  best  for  their 
patients,  to  affect  the  latters'  unconscious  self,  and  for 
their  eventual  recovery.  The  rooms  and  wards  were 
hung  with  helpful  mottoes  and  pictures,  so  that  the  inner 
man  was  encouraged  and  consoled  at  the  same  time  that 
the  outer  man  was  restored  to  health.  Telephone  con- 
nections to  every  bed  with  the  public  concerts  and 
lectures  distracted  the  sick  during  those  terribly  long 
nights  when  the  shadows  seem  eternal. 

The  superintendent  was  no  jack  in  office,  but  the 
father  of  every  patient,  and  it  was  his  duty  to  hear  and 
listen  to  the  troubles  of  every  patient  daily.  How  did 
that   happen?     Because   his    reappointment   every   year 


THE  DOOM  OF  THE  WHITE  RACE     271 

depended  on  a  re-election  by  the  patients  that  had  been 
under  his  care  last  year;  so  that  it  was  to  his  practical 
interest,  to  please  the  patients. 

Of  course  in  my  day  the  ruling  authorities  were 
boards  of  trustees  who  had  no  interests,  other  than 
financial,  in  the  institution,  and  who  knew  nothing  of 
what  went  on  under  the  surface.  Under  such  a  state 
of  affairs,  therefore,  things  could  not  go  other  than 
wrong  for  the  patients,  in  whose  interests,  however,  all 
the  money  was  supposed  to  be  collected.  Now  the  state 
had  full  control,  and  insisted  that  the  institution  be  run 
in  the  interest  of  the  patients,  not  the  management. 

In  my  own  case,  of  course,  I  could  not  tell  if  the 
solicitousness  with  which  I  was  surrounded  was  usual 
or  exceptional,  inasmuch  as  I  had  been  introduced  by  so 
influential  a  friend.  Still,  from  all  that  I  could  see,  I 
came  to  the  conclusion  that  the  care  and  thoughtfulness 
were  general ;  for  even  my  friend  the  federal  inspector 
received  a  treatment  studiedly  similar  to  that  of  every- 
body else,  in  food,  bedding,  nursing  and  medicaments. 

When  the  time  came  around  for  the  return  of  my 
friend  I  was  just  a  little  afraid  of  meeting  him  again; 
would  he  have  changed?  Would  the  pressure  of  business 
have  dulled  his  good  intentions  towards  me?  Fortun- 
ately his  return  was  sudden.  I  had  come  to  watch 
every  land-boat-plane  that  came  across  the  straits, 
morbidly  trying  to  examine  every  passenger;  but  my 
friend  did  not  come  that  way;  he  had  been  touring  the 
Philippines,  and  had  returned  to  me  from  behind  my 
back.  The  unexpectedness  of  our  meeting  allowed  no 
time  for  any  artificial  resolves,  and  curiosity  added  to 
my  affection  made  me  insist  on  a  very  full  account  of 
his  doings. 

I  found  that  the  pleasure  of  reunion  was  mutual. 
His  position  brought  him  in  contact  with  many  people, 
but  also  erected  a  barrier  between  them.  There  can 
be  no  intimacy  between  the  cat  and  the  mouse.    In  these 


272     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

modern  days  there  was  little  chance  for  him  to  remarry 
merely  for  money  or  position;  and  personally  he  was 
so  old  that  the  authorities  of  any  matrimonial  school 
would  have  advised,  nay,  ruled  against  him.  So  for 
him  I  was  as  much  of  a  god-send  as  he  was  to  me;  and 
he  chatted  with  me  most  chummily  and  unreservedly; 
but  ...    . 

"Do  you  know,"  observed  he  with  a  covert  glance, 
"that  in  the  Fiji  Islands,  on  the  western  coast  of  Viti 
Levu,  I  have  found  the  hermitage  for  which  you  were 
seeking?  While  on  the  eastern  coast  the  vegetation  is 
tropical,  on  the  western  the  scenery  would  remind  you 
of  temperate  climes;  there  are  meadows,  sweet  potatoes, 
acacia  and  fern  trees,  as  well  as  orchids  and  bananas. 
The  rivers  are  full  of  edible  fish,  and  the  temperature 
remains  mild.  Why  do  you  not  go  there  to  end  your 
life?  I  can  give  you  recommendations,  and  you  will 
make  friends,  for  the  society  is  of  the  most  charming. 
The  native  question  is  well  advanced,  nay,  they  are  the 
most  enlightened  race  in  Polynesia,  mingling  the  best 
characteristics  of  the  Papuans  you  so  much  liked,  with 
those  of  the  Tongans  and  Samoans ;  while  the  whites 
there  have  allayed  the  natural  prejudice  against  them  by 
intermarriage;  consequently  most  profound  concord 
reigns  there.  (I  noticed  that  he  preferred  to  use  the 
word  "concord"  rather  than  "peace.")  And  then,"  added 
he  significantly,  "among  their  flowers  are  the  lilacs!" 

From  the  gleam  of  his  eyes  as  he  used  the  word 
"lilacs,"  I  grew  certain  that  he  had  an  ulterior  meaning, 
one  that  I  had  already  suspected,  when  he  had  mentioned 
the  orchids.  So  I  countered,  "And  you  say  there  are 
also  acacias  there?" 

"Yes,"  rejoined  he,  flushing  imperceptibly. 

"Well,"  retorted  I,  "I  am  content  with  acacias!" 

This  time  the  flush  was  noticeable,  for  I  had  decided 
to  stay  with  him.  This  was  a  genuine  sample  of  the 
way  in  which  Providence  treats  us,  giving  us  what  we 


THE  DOOM  OF  THE  WHITE  RACE     27Z 

seek  after  we  have  ceased  to  desire  or  need  it.  No,  the 
gods  are  not  jealous  of  human  happiness,  but  they  seem 
to  look  on  this  life  as  an  education,  as  a  prelude  to  higher 
things,  while  we  persist  in  considering  it  an  opportunity 
to  enjoy  these  means  of  education  as  ends  in  themselves. 
So  later  Providence  does  offer  us  the  very  fulfilment  of 
our  wishes  as  temptations,  to  see  if  we  have  sufficiently 
advanced  not  to  desire  a  return  to  them.  By  the  same 
token  they  should  be  considered  happiest  who  least 
receive  satisfaction  of  their  desires,  and  those  who  can 
easiest  satisfy  them,  and  need  never  lack  for  anything, 
are  most  unfortunate.  That  is  why  it  was  a  real  favor 
to  humanity,  a  genuine  step  forward  in  evolution,  when 
privileged  classes  ceased  to  exist,  and  when  no  one  need 
ever  be  deprived  of  proper  and  helpful  opportunities, 
on  the  merit  basis. 

We  therefore  agreed  to  remain  together.  I  said,  "You 
are  no  doubt  quite  able  to  manage  successfully  without 
me,  as  you  have  done  till  now ;  but  even  an  ass  was  once 
useful  to  a  prophet;  and  if  in  no  other  way,  I  shall  act 
as  a  counterfoil ;  or,  what  is  sometimes  still  more  helpful, 
as  a  good  listener.  Other  than  yours,  of  course,  I  have 
no  interests;  and  even  if  I  am  of  no  use,  I  shall  be  no 
hindrance;  yet  I  shall  surely  be  of  some  use,  for  the 
unexpected  still  arises  even  in  your  modern  civilization, 
does  it  not?" 

"I  accept  the  companionship,  and  with  great  happi- 
ness," responded  he.  "I  feel  sure  the  blessing  will  prove 
mutual.  In  its  individual  form,  the  divine  Presence  is 
always  near  the  listening  solitary  heart ;  but  its  congrega- 
tional form  is  dependent  on  human  solidarity.  This  is 
a  privilege  so  inestimable  that  for  its  sake  even  the 
wisest,  when  in  despair,  have  been  known  to  marry 
fools,  and  to  burden  themselves  with  heavy  crosses;  and 
this  you  shall  apply  to  me,  though  without  the  cross. 
The  many  scenes  with  which  I  am  familiar  I  shall  now 
see  with  my  own  eyes,  glorified  with  the  rainbow  of 


274     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

friendship.  In  describing  to  you  our  achievements,  I 
myself  shall  all  the  clearer  revaluate  them,  thus  return- 
ing to  my  youth's  first  vigorous  sensations  of  color  and 
form.  In  this  manner  Providence  has  unexpectedly 
answered  prayers  of  mine  that  I  deemed  unanswerable. 
That  is  how  we  know  there  is  a  Providence,  because 
the  unexpected  plays  so  important  a  part  in  our  lives. 
That  we  are  ministers  thereof  endues  us  with  the  great- 
est dignity,  and  this  constitutes  whatever  divinity  we 
may  claim!" 

"As  St.  Athanasius  used  to  say,"  added  I  reminiscently, 
meditatively,  and  dreamily,  as  if  in  a  trance  of  revela- 
tion. For  it  was  an  initiation  into  a  year  of  miracle  for 
us  both.  We  tasted  the  purest  joys  of  friendship,  of 
which  Cicero  and  so  many  others  had  written,  wathout 
any  of  the  dangers  and  bars  which  Emerson  had  so 
unworthily  emphasized;  youth,  with  its  impulses,  and 
chances  of  separation  by  divergence  of  interest;  material 
interests,  since  I  could  not  look  forward  to  rivalry,  and 
we  were  independent  of  income;  sex,  w^ith  its  weak- 
nesses, its  passions,  its  excesses,  it  physiological  culmina- 
tion in  a  family;  boredom,  inasmuch  as  each  of  us 
belonged  to  a  different  age,  a  different  race,  and  differ- 
ent funds  of  knowledge.  We  traveled  over  grounds 
fresh  to  me,  offering  to  him  that  purest  joy  of  life,  im- 
partation  of  knowledge,  —  and  it  turned  out,  as  is  usual 
under  such  circumstances,  that  he  later  repeatedly 
thanked  me  for  having  compelled  him  to  study  points 
which  he  unintentionally  and  unconsciously  had  neglec- 
ted. To  the  best  of  my  ability  I  assisted  him,  and  was 
able  not  only  to  enrich  his  impressions  by  mine,  but  to 
suggest  minor  improvements,  some  of  which  he  had  too 
long  delayed,  or  forgotten.  We  were  also  united  in 
prayer.  Though  of  different  race  and  personal  language, 
we  translated  to  each  other  the  great  facts  of  life,  and 
we  drew  up  a  list,  as  it  were,  of  the  great  significancies 
of  our  existence.    Then  he  introduced  me  to  his  friends. 


THE  DOOM  OF  THE  WHITE  RACE     275 

who  formed  a  good  commentary  on  his  interior  aspira- 
tions, some  of  which  I  would  otherwise  hardly  have 
realized. 

Last  of  all,  he  introduced  me  to  his  twin  brother,  of 
whom  he  always  spoke  with  the  deepest  affection  .  .  . 
and  pity.  Here  I  had  a  further  opportunity  of  verifying 
that  interesting  fact  of  human  nature,  the  interior 
change  effected  by  our  occupations.  In  my  youth  I 
remember  knowing  two  sisters,  one  of  whom  had 
married,  and  graduated  into  a  broad,  catholic,  charitable 
and  beautiful  woman.  The  other  one  had  remained  thin, 
intolerant,  troublesome,  self-righteous,  and  compara- 
tively vulgar.  So  here  Acacia's  brother  Acacian  had 
retained  all  the  intolerance  of  the  yellow  race,  —  for 
in  these  days  the  latter  had  not  only  grown  conscious 
of  its  numerical  superiority  over  the  white  race,  but  had 
entirely  outclassed  it  in  progress  of  civilization.  With 
him  I  could  not  have  become  an  acquaintance,  let  alone 
friends.  When  we  choose  an  occupation  we  are  in  more 
than  one  way  really  creating  a  destiny.  I  could  now 
clearly  perceive  an  incarnation's  possibility  of  improve- 
ment for  a  soul,  and  equally  the  seriousness  of  an  in- 
carnation's waste.  In  his  environment  Acacian  had 
merely  vegetated,  though  in  a  blameless  manner.  In 
fact,  of  the  twins,  he  was  generally  considered  the  more 
honorable,  in  that  he  had  made  greater  local  achieve- 
ment, while  his  twin  had  become  a  rover.  So  fallible 
are  human  judgments!  There  is  infinite  value  in  even 
the  most  trifling  choice,  for  there  is  nothing  so  small 
that  through  it  God  cannot  speak. 


CHAPTER  XXVII 

ASIA  GEOGRAPHIZED 

I  said  that  the  yellow  race  had  outdistanced  the  white. 
Why?  Because  the  white  had  been  so  busy  cutting 
each  others'  throats,  not  only  on  the  battlefield,  but  in 
industrial  competition,  that  in  the  meanwhile  the  yellow* 
race  had  occupied  every  coign  of  vantage.  It  is  well 
known  that  the  Chinese  had  invented  the  printing-press, 
spectacles,  gun-powder,  and  other  achievements  before 
the  white  race;  and  even  in  my  own  days  the  Chinese 
were  economically  penetrating  all  of  the  Malay  and 
Australasian  world.  Practically  every  field  of  endeavor 
had  been  opened  to  them  by  the  diminution  of  the  whites 
during  the  world-war,  and  the  latter  had  never  been  able 
to  catch  up  because  of  the  economic  equalization  of  the 
merit  civil-service  system  of  world-federation,  which 
was  founded  on  efficiency,  and  not  on  the  development 
of  the  personal  equation  and  comfortable  living  distinct- 
ive of  the  oriental  whites.  The  idle  lives  at  high  salaries 
incident  to  the  British  civil  service  system  had  disap- 
peared. Merit  equalization  of  salaries  had  left  the  whites 
who  insisted  on  remaining  in  the  east  no  alternative  but 
to  live  on  the  same  plane  as  their  more  efficient  Asian 
human  brethren.  In  the  Lincolnian  Southern  States 
after  the  war  many  of  the  old  families  remained  in 
proud  isolation ;  but  in  the  modern  state  this,  which  was 
the  breeding-spot  of  misunderstandings,  prejudices,  and 

caste- feeling,  was  no  longer  permitted ;  so  that  the  Asian 

376 


ASIA  GEOGRAPHIZED  277 

whites  who  objected  to  be  reorganized  on  the  basis  of 
efficiency  had  to  emigrate.  Many  of  them  therefore  left 
the  Orient  for  the  few  countries  where  the  whites  were 
still  in  the  ascendant;  but  here  the  quarrelsomeness  and 
mutual  victimization  characteristic  of  the  race  soon 
made  an  end  of  them  as  a  distinctive  class.  This  was 
especially  true  of  white  girls,  who  had  to  be  transferred 
to  matrimonial  schools  in  white  districts;  and  this 
ultimately  led  to  their  families  following  them. 

China  had  become  one  of  the  most  populous  and 
flourishing  parts  of  the  globe,  yearly  sending  out  flocks 
of  colonies  to  every  under-populated  district,  so  that  the 
Orient  was  practically  closed  to  the  whites,  who  now 
had  to  earn  their  living  like  everybody  else.  Like  the 
"poor  whites"  of  the  Lincolnian  Southern  States,  those 
that  remained  betrayed  the  ancient  Irish  preference  for 
fighting,  even  above  eating,  with  the  result  that  the 
League  to  Enforce  Peace  had  committed  the  great 
majority  of  whites  to  the  state  penal  universities  of 
citizenship,  where  those  who  were  amenable  to  redemp- 
tion were  taught  the  blessings  of  industry,  and  social- 
ization. 

The  Chinese  had  taken  very  kindly  to  the  socialized 
institutions  of  the  federalized  state.  From  time  imme- 
morial they  had  been  accustomed  to  an  examination 
system,  and  to  efficiency  ratings;  and  now  that  the  pro- 
vincial bars  had  perforce  been  raised,  and  that  the  whole 
world  was  their  field,  they  had,  in  a  state  in  which  brute 
force  was  eliminated,  shown  up  well.  A  similar  state  of 
afifairs  had  existed  in  Palestine,  where  the  Hebrews 
could  not  enter  till  the  more  pkysically  powerful  Emims 
and  Zamzummims  had  been  eliminated ;  whereafter, 
however,  their  industry  and  adaptibility  had  over- 
whelmed and  displaced  the  Canaanites. 

So  little  do  we  realize  the  results  of  our  actions!  If 
Scrap-of -paper  William  had  realized  that  he  was  destroy- 
ing the  white  race  merely   to   hand   over   the   world's 


278     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

destiny  to  the  yellow,  and  that  he  himself  constituted 
the  "yellow  peril,"  he  probably  would  have  desisted 
from  his  fiendish  plans ;  —  and  yet  there  is  no  knowing, 
perhaps  he  had  rather  have  involved  in  ruin  the  whole 
Caucasian  race,  than  miss  his  opportunity  of  ruling  it. 
There  certainly  are  "rule  or  ruin"'  people  in  the  world, 
and  he  must  have  been  one  of  them.  At  any  rate,  he 
became  a  very  suitable  instrument  for  the  devil,  even 
though  he  did  not  realize  that  he  was,  in  the  person  of 
his  tribal  god  Thor,  reverting  from  Christian  ideals, 
in  spite  of  being  the  head  of  the  Lutheran  church. 

Surprising  was  the  beautiful  development  of  the 
Chinese  under  cultural  opportunities  equal  to  those  of 
the  whites.  They  no  longer  even  resembled  the  hunted 
laundrymen  with  whom  I  had  in  my  youth  been  familiar. 
They  were  tall,  well-proportioned,  athletic,  and  resource- 
ful. Their  foolish  peculiarities,  pig-tails,  feet-binding, 
long  nails,  birds'  nests,  and  puppy  soup,  had  been  aban- 
doned, to  conform  with  the  world-standard  of  culture. 
Besides,  there  was  in  them  a  great  strain  of  white  blood. 
One-half  of  the  world's  supply  of  white  males  having 
been  killed  off  by  the  world-war,  federalization  estab-' 
lished  a  world  population  bureau,  —  what  a  joke  on 
the  people  of  my  day,  who  thought  themselves  cosmo- 
politan, yet  had  never  thought  of  a  national,  let  alone  a 
racial,  continental,  or  global  population-bureau!  —  This 
bureau,  then,  had  seen  that,  for  the  future  of  humanity, 
it  would  be  necessary  to  mate  the  surplus  white  women 
with  the  available  males  of  other  races. 

Indeed,  such  intermarriage  had  been  compulsory,  in 
the  case  of  the  German  and  Turkish  races.  They  had 
proved  themselves  so  blood-thirsty  that,  though  defeated, 
the  purity  of  their  racial  existence  was  a  standing 
menace  for  the  rest  of  the  world.  The  only  alternative 
to  extermination,  such  as  is  inevitable  in  the  case  of 
rats  or  snakes,  but  which  was  repugnant  to  the  meliora- 
tive methods  of  the  new  world,  was  intermarriage  of 


ASIA  GEOGRAPHIZED  279 

some  kind.  Neither  the  Americans,  nor  English,  French 
or  Italians  would  help  them  out  of  their  predicament. 
The  Africans,  to  whom  they  had  made  themselves  odious 
by  their  colonial  cruelties,  positively  refused.  There 
were  only  two  possibilities  left :  intermarriage  with  the 
kindly,  but  weak-headed  Slavs  (as  had  already  been 
suggested  by  Nietzsche,  and  which  strengthened  the 
Slavic  softness),  and  the  Orientals,  in  spite  of  their  bad 
reputation  because  of  their  barbarities  connected  with 
the  Kiaou-Chiaou  colony. 

The  Japanese  who  for  centuries  had  excelled  by  ex- 
ploiting Chinese  literature,  science  and  economics,  had 
correspondingly  lost  prominence.  The  Chinese  were 
now  exploiting  their  own  achievements,  and  Japan  was 
faced  with  the  necessity  of  developing  some  originality, 
or  turning  to  a  new  field  of  adaptation ;  and  many  of 
them  turned  to  their  geographic  destiny,  that  of  mingling 
the  civilization  of  Asia  and  America,  not  forgetting 
Australia.  As  such,  they  proved  very  useful,  although 
this  entailed  a  noticeable  change  in  their  national  life. 
No  more  coolies  were  there  to  draw  jinrikishas.  The 
geishas  had  all  been  turned  over  to  the  matrimonial 
schools,  and  had  graduated  into  self-respecting  wives; 
while  the  latter,  in  colleges  and  universities,  had  been 
put  through  a  course  of  sprouts  sufficient  to  develop  in 
them  parlor  tricks,  not  to  speak  of  genuine  cultural 
achievements,  engaging  enough  to  prove  companions 
able  to  fascinate  their  husbands. 

Returning  to  China,  the  admixture  of  German  gcmiit- 
lichkeit  had  to  the  Chinese  character  added  a  certain 
solidity  and  weight  that  they  had  before  lacked ;  and  the 
result  not  only  aided  in  effacing  traditional  differences 
between  east  and  west,  but  developed  a  nation  that 
achieved  the  foremost  progress  in  the  world.  At  every 
ward-meeting  on  the  globe  the  news  most  eagerly  scanned 
was  that  from  Peking  or  Nankin,  because  of  their  fer- 
tility in  interesting  inventions.     Thence  had  proceeded 


280     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

new  species  of  flowers,  trees  and  fruits,  as  a  result  of 
crossing  the  well-known  American,  and  European  vari- 
eties with  the  famous  Chinese  edible  plants  so  unjustly 
neglected  in  my  day.  It  was  from  here  that  had  orig- 
inated the  new  kinds  of  fruits  I  had  mentioned  at  the 
beginning  of  this  account  of  my  experiences. 

Another  reason  for  the  progress  of  China  had  been 
the  devotion  to  the  production  of  staple  necessaries  of 
life  of  the  huge  provinces  formerly  given  up  to  raising 
useless  luxuries.  Among  such  were  classed  opium, 
except  as  a  medicament;  and  tea,  which  could  be  easily 
made  synthetically,  as  a  flavoring,  for  such  semi-degen- 
erates as  still  indulged  in  non-nourishing  beverages.  Idle 
chatter  had  practically  disappeared  for  lack  of  leisure. 
Traditions  of  the  "pink  teas"  of  my  childhood  period 
were  nowadays  looked  on  as  human  survivals  of  the 
magpie  and  monkey-stage  in  human  evolution. 

Middle  China,  which  in  my  days  was  less  important 
than  the  coast,  had  grown  in  influence ;  for  it  manufac- 
tured its  own  goods  from  almost  limitless  resources. 
Power  was  accessible  not  only  from  the  water-power  of 
the  Yang-tse-kiang  and  Si-kiang,  but  also  from  the 
supreme  wind-power  from  the  Himalayas. 

The  social  conditions  of  China  had  become  standard- 
ized to  the  norms  of  federalization.  Strange  to  say, 
the  monkey-like  black  broad-cloth  claw-hammer  dress- 
suit,  and  absurd  silk  chimney-pot  hat,  first  relegated  to 
museums  after  the  world-war  in  its  European  home, 
had,  as  usual,  longest  survived  here  in  its  adopted  home ; 
but  its  reign  was  now  everywhere  at  an  end.  Native 
costumes  survived  only  in  vaudeville,  and  there  was 
precious  little  of  that.  It  had  resigned  in  favor  of  the 
universal  world  uniforms,  decreed  by  the  yearly  meet- 
ings at  the  global  sartorial  university  at  the  world- 
capital. 

Leaving  China,  next  most  interesting  to  me  was  the 
economic  change  visible  in  Siberia.    In  my  days,  it  had 


ASIA  GEOGRAPHIZED  281 

been  a  penal  colony  of  the  Muscovites;  but  its  vast 
steppes  and  inexhaustible  forests,  watered  by  its  tremen- 
dous rivers,  had  been  developed  into  a  high  degree  of 
productivity.  It  had  bloomed  as  a  result  of  the  introduc- 
tion from  China  of  a  heretofore  lacking  cultural  element 
of  thrift  and  industry.  This  had  helped  to  eliminate  the 
Russian  predisposition  to  intemperance,  with  the  solid 
growth  everywhere  resulting  from  prohibition.  While 
China  had  assumed  leadership,  its  origins  had  been  tra- 
ditional, so  that  they  did  not  introduce  an  element  so 
novel  and  potent  as  the  hitherto  undeveloped  Siberia, 
which  injected  into  Asia  an  entirely  new  element,  which 
was  typically  federal,  or  as  they  preferred  to  say, 
"human."  Here  had  been  few  prejudices  to  eradicate, 
and  there  had  been  a  fair  start  for  the  new  global  prin- 
ciples of  social  organization.  This  put  Siberia  in  the 
van  of  civilization. 

One  great  element  of  the  miraculous  development  of 
Siberia  was  that  through  its  north-eastern  extremity 
passed  the  through  trains  bound  for  North  America, 
The  whole  line  had  proved  an  artery  of  development, 
civilization  and  culture.  Many  through  travelers  would 
stop  off  on  the  way,  and  thus  was  reclaimed  a  territory 
whose  northern  latitude  would  naturally  have  been 
retarded.  Here  was  once  more  seen  the  strange  phenom- 
enon of  the  greater  progress  of  northern  nations  that 
have  to  develop  a  strong  character  by  resisting  the  ele- 
ments, over  the  southern,  whom  climate  permits  to  lux- 
uriate in  ease.  Siberia  was  the  Canada  of  Asia,  Its 
commercial  importance  now  more  than  rivaled  that  of 
China,  and  indeed  the  water-sheds  of  the  Ob,  the  Jenis- 
sei,  and  the  Lena  had  developed  into  three  independent 
states,  each  of  which  was  an  empire  in  its  own 
right. 

The  Turkestan  republic  also  was  a  creation  of  the 
world- war,  and  consisted  geographically  of  the  central 
water-shed  without  outlets,  or  dead  lakes,  such  as  the 


282     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

Aral  Sea  (the  Oxus  and  Jaxarthes),  the  Lob  Sea  (the 
Tarim),  and  the  other  seas  similar  to  the  Balchasch. 
Here  are  found  those  mysterious  ruins  of  former 
civilization,  the  home  of  Jenghis  Khan,  and  Tamurlane. 
No  longer  did  the  Tartars  cook  their  beefsteaks  by  plac- 
ing them  under  their  saddles,  and  riding  them  into 
pulp. 

Yet  the  world-order  had  here  met  with  considerable 
opposition  in  settling  the  nomads.  The  League  to 
Enforce  Peace  had  even  found  it  necessary  to  conduct 
campaigns  to  demonstrate  to  the  cradle  of  historic 
emigrations  that  a  new  world-order  had  arrived.  The 
settling  of  the  nomad  into  the  agriculturist,  which  in 
Persia  had  been  effected  as  long  ago  as  Zoroaster,  in 
my  day  had  not  yet  been  accomplished  here ;  neighboring 
states  had  found  it  to  their  advantage  to  promote  it,  in 
order  to  keep  the  disunited  tribes  in  subjection.  The 
lesson  that  'T union  fait  la  force"  was  however  finally 
learned  here,  with  the  result  of  an  unitary  state,  even 
in  a  land  where  there  was  no  single  watershed,  with 
its  consequent  unified  organized  communication-system. 
As  it  was  the  most  difficult  place  in  the  world  to  teach 
this  lesson,  modern  economists  pointed  to  Turkestan 
unity  as  one  of  their  greatest  achievements,  as  a  feather 
in  their  caps,  as  the  crowning  demonstration  of  the 
workability  of  democracy. 

Hither  also  had  retired  the  remnants  of  the  Turkish 
state,  bringing  along  an  element  of  European  traditions 
and  culture.  They  themselves  had  finally  become  social- 
ized, into  a  democracy.  Their  chief  communications 
with  the  world  were  by  the  Caspian  Sea  to  Persia  and 
Armenia,  and  by  the  northern  Trans-Siberian  railroad. 
They  had  also  built  a  railroad  to  China  over  the  passes 
of  the  Kien  Lung  range,  and  via  Kandahar  (in  Afghan- 
istan) to  India.  Not  until  these  latter  means  of  com- 
munication were  permanently  established  did  democracy 
have  a  fair  chance  in  this  section. 


ASIA  GEOGRAPHIZED  283 

We  however  negotiated  the  Hindu  Kush  in  an  air- 
ship, and  descended  into  the  valley  of  the  Ganges.  Here 
the  impossible  had  been  accomplished,  in  that  caste- 
ridden  India  had  been  socialized.  Of  course  home  rule 
had  come;  but  when  the  Indians  of  my  day  sighed  for 
it,  they  did  not  realize  that  only  under  democracy  is 
home  rule  a  blessing.  Otherwise  it  makes  for  a  perpetu- 
ation of  caste,  of  provincial  prejudice,  and  war.  Indeed, 
the  misguided  Irish  of  my  day  who  were  rabid  on  the 
subject  could  not  be  made  to  see  that  if  they  had  had  it, 
their  island  would  immediately  have  perished  in  a  uni- 
versal Donnybrook  fair,  where  the  shillelahs  of  inter- 
necine warfare  would  have  left  nothing  but  the  tails  of 
the  proverbial  Kilkenny  cats,  who  ate  each  other.  Only 
because  of  their  civilizing  dependency  on  neighboring 
progress  were  they  enabled  to  dream  of  home  rule. 
Imagine  what  they  would  have  done  under  the  heel  of 
the  German  tyranny  they  invoked!  The  truth  is  that 
the  latter  form  of  government  was  the  only  one  for 
which  they  were  ripe.  They  would  immediately  have 
become  docile  slaves. 

Here  in  India  all  the  miserable  divisions  into  native 
states  had  gradually  passed  away.  As  in  the  France  of 
the  Revolution,  the  only  means  possible  had  been  to 
clear  out  all  the  old  names,  and  to  introduce  districts 
named  after  the  rivers  and  mountains  contained.  The 
age-long  religious  feuds  between  Brahmanist  and 
Buddhist,  Jain  and  Mohammedan,  could  be  reduced  by 
nothing  but  the  religion  of  democracy.  All  the  old 
shrines  had  been  commandeered  by  the  state,  and  what- 
ever new  sanctuaries  these  religions  had  wished  or  been 
able  to  re-erect  had  risen;  but  they  \vere  very  few.  As 
soon  as  all  political  influence  had  been  limited  to  the 
religion  of  democracy,  all  the  old  cults  had  become 
spiritualized  away  after  the  Stoic  manner  of  allegory, 
and  none  professed  them  except  Platonically.  Moreover, 
the  Hindu  is  lazy;  and  it  will  be  remembered  that  all  of 


284     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

India's  shrine  miracles  were  erected  by  their  conquering 
races  before  becoming  etiolated  by  the  local  lethargy. 
Indeed,  that  is  the  reason  why  the  country  had  submitted 
to  every  nation  that  had  cared  to  take  the  trouble  to 
conquer  them,  from  the  time  of  Alexander  to  that  of 
Clive;  the  great  Hindu  rebellion  being  no  more  than 
an  orgy  of  religious  fanaticism  aroused  by  the  stupidity 
of  the  British,  who  could  not  understand  why  tallow 
should  not  have  been  used  as  axle-grease.  Really  the 
Hindu  was  so  lazy  that  he  found  it  much  easier  to  wor- 
ship democracy,  in  the  old  shrines  than  to  build  new  ones 
to  their  old  divinities.  Public  education,  universal,  free, 
and  compulsory,  had,  besides,  relegated  those  old  cults 
to  their  proper  primitive  stage  in  cultural  development, 
so  that  no  educated  person  could  be  induced  to  take  in 
them  any  but  antiquarian  interest. 

The  Hindus  had  lost  their  servility,  and  with  it  their 
trickiness  and  insolence.  Like  all  other  nations,  it  was 
responsibility  that  had  transformed  them  into  their 
better  selves.  As  the  earlier  pitiable  contrasts  between 
extreme  wealth  and  miserable  destitution  no  longer 
existed,  there  arose  a  general  condition  of  well-being 
very  pleasant  to  behold.  The  international  language 
had  been  of  inestimable  value  especially  here,  in  this 
land  of  caste.  It  had  united  over  three  hundred  idioms, 
and  had,  by  translation  into  uniform  words,  effectually 
and  permanently  disposed  of  the  individual  claims  to 
unique  divine  authority.  Nothing  so  well  appraises  a 
writing  as  a  translation;  comparison  explains  and  points 
out  the  residual  value.  For  instance.  Max  Mueller's  Six 
Systems  of  Hindu  Philosophy  had  revealed  that  they 
were  but  steps  of  a  unitary  development  of  thought. 
It  was  discovered  that  all  the  warring  religions  prac- 
tically agreed,  and  the  sects  were  kept  apart,  except  for 
real  estate  interests  and  personal  ambitions,  but  by 
linguistic  survivals. 

The  ancient  drama  of  Kalidasa,   Kschemisvara,  and 


ASIA  GEOGRAPHIZED  285 

their  followers  proved  the  basis  of  a  great  literary  re- 
awakening, which  resulted  in  the  most  recently  admired 
novel  poetry  and  world-dramas.  The  influence  of  the 
Mahabharata  and  the  Ramayana  fructified  into  a  modern 
world  epic  of  which  I  was  fortunately  able  to  secure  a 
copy,  and  which  I  would  like  to  communicate  to  my 
friends  of  the  olden  days,  should  I  ever  have  the  oppor- 
tunity. 

Here  also  the  white  race  had  practically  disappeared. 
Inefficient  as  they  were  in  everything  except  violence 
and  fighting,  which  in  the  modern  civilization  did  not 
count,  the  whites  who  had  been  willing  to  stay  to  labor 
at  the  standard  rate  paid  to  all  natives  had  been  glad 
of  the  opportunity  to  allay  prejudice  born  of  the 
memories  of  their  former  oppressions  by  intermarriage; 
especially  with  the  Parsees,  to  whom  they  were  attracted 
by  many  personal  characteristics.  I  had  always  been 
interested  in  these  descendants  of  Zoroaster  since  the 
time  that  I  had  translated  the  Gathas  into  English. 
Here  I  had  made  an  interesting  discovery.  Their 
apparent  confusion  was  due  to  a  mixture  of  two  dupli- 
cate manuscript  biographies  of  the  prophet,  the  priestly 
and  the  personal,  which,  printed  on  opposite  pages, 
illustrated  each  other  by  their  coherent  differences. 

The  fusion  of  Indian  castes  was  one  of  the  most  diffi- 
cult socialization-problems  in  the  whole  world.  The 
English  had  lost  hold,  not  only  by  their  being  killed  out 
by  the  world-war,  but  by  the  non-productivity  of  their 
manias  for  golf  and  cricket.  Consequently  the  global  or 
world-government  had  been  forced  to  send  an  armed 
expedition  to  introduce  uniform  education,  and  to  conse- 
crate the  religion  of  democracy.  Idleness  also  had  been 
a  serious  problem;  especially  that  of  the  fakirs,  whose 
laziness  had  been  masked  by  the  gloss  of  sanctity;  to 
them  also  had  been  read  the  riot  act  of  "work  or  starve," 
for  in  a  working  democracy  senseless  "charity"  is  a 
crime.     Fifty  years  were  required  to  federalize  India, 


286     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

and  it  might  have  taken  more  but  that  fortunately  the 
more  rabid  (i.  e.  orthodox)  of  the  fanatics  did  the  world 
the  favor  of  suiciding  by  killing  each  other,  fighting  over 
the  spoils  which  were  so  worthless  that  the  state  had 
abandoned  them.  This  international  invasion  of  India 
had  been  welcomed  by  the  most  enlightened,  who  under- 
stood that  world-democracy  could  not  survive  so  long 
as  a  single  country  persisted  in  mutual  divisions  and 
racial  hatred.  Later  on  their  wise  men  came  to  appreci- 
ate what  the  British  government  had  blunderingly  tried 
to  accomplish  for  them ;  and  in  sackcloth  and  ashes  they 
repented  of  their  senseless  opposition  to  their  own  best 
friends. 

After  visiting  Madras,  Ceylon,  and  Goa,  we  came  to 
Bombay,  where  Acacia's  business  allowed  me  enough 
free  time  to  make  an  excursion  to  the  caves  of  Ellora. 
On  returning,  I  was  interested  in  the  peculiar  local 
fusion  of  races,  due  to  the  prevalence  of  Parsee  influence. 
Here  also  had  been  established  matrimonial  schools, 
whose  creation  had  made  but  very  little  trouble,  in  view 
of  the  ancient  Hindu  custom  of  the  swayamvara,  in 
which  the  problem  of  distributing  the  marriageable 
youth  of  both  sexes  had  been  seriously,  even  if  deficiently 
studied. 

Then  we  took  the  coast-train  for  Persia.  We  passed 
through  Baroda,  and  rode  under  the  Indus  through  a 
tunnel  at  Hyderabad.  Bridges,  with  their  danger  of 
falling,  and  expense  of  upkeep,  had  already  become 
obsolete  a  century  ago,  except  over  canyons,  or  valleys. 

Here  we  had  a  choice  of  travel-routes.  We  might 
have  gone  along  the  Beluchistan  coast,  to  Basra,  Meso- 
potamia, Bagdad,  and  Mosul.  I  would  have  very  much 
enjoyed  seeing  all  the  old  religious  associations  of  my 
childhood,  the  place  where  the  whale  spewed  up  Jonah, 
Babylon  and  Nineveh,  where  the  Hebrews  wept  because 
they  had  to  hang  up  even  their  harps,  and  the  desert 
tracts  where  Abraham's  wives  stole  each  other's  tera- 


ASIA  GEOGRAPHIZED  287 

phim.  All  the  old  places  of  antiquity  had  been  restored ; 
and  with  a  rehabilitation  of  the  irrigation  system,  Meso- 
potamia had  once  more  become  the  granary  of  the  world. 
Yet  the  season  being  very  hot,  we  chose  the  inland  route 
via  Shikarpur,  to  Kandahar,  Herat,  Teheran,  and  Tabriz. 
I  was  very  glad  to  see  the  restoration  of  glory  to  the 
land  of  Firdausi,  of  Omar,  and  of  Jeluladin. 

During  my  childhood  times,  Persia  had  been  in  a  bad 
way,  divided  up  between  Russian  tyranny,  Turkish 
assassinationalism,  and  British  stupidity.  Here  also  it 
had  been  difficult  to  establish  democracy.  Not  so  much, 
indeed,  because  of  internal  divisions,  but  because  of  the 
Islamic  slavishness,  traditional  Sufi  secret  intoxication, 
and  the  shiftlessness  of  despair.  The  land  of  rose-attar 
needed  back-bone,  cool-headedness,  and  industry.  The 
global  federal  government  had  been  compelled  to  send 
hither  many  educational  missions,  which  indeed  had 
been  initiated  by  the  American  Protestant  boards.  More- 
over, a  past  too  glorious  was  found  to  be  a  greater 
obstacle  to  progress  than  ignorance  or  poverty. 

Besides,  the  missionaries  were  gradually  compelled  to 
study  Persian  literature  in  order  to  get  any  access  to 
those  who  were  inspired  thereby.  No  longer  was  it 
possible  to  send  as  missionaries  youths  and  maidens 
barely  sheepskinned  by  fresh-water  colleges,  whose  chief 
title  to  a  happy  life  was  ability  to  play  tennis,  and  who 
spent  the  greater  part  of  their  stay  in  "heathen"  lands 
in  mastering  a  few  conversational  phrases  to  bribe  a 
few  outcasts.  Henceforward  it  became  necessary  to  send 
men  and  women  capable  of  affecting  the  mind  and  heart 
of  the  best  in  the  nation;  and  to  do  so,  they  had  to 
become  naturalized,  and  make  good  as  leaders  of  civic 
improvements. 

The  religion  of  Islam,  or  "resignation,"  worked  very 
well  as  soon  as  the  global  federal  government  enforced 
its  benevolent  intentions  with  the  sword;  this  was  a 
case  where  war  was  necessary  to  enforce  peace.     How- 


288     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

ever,  in  this  country  nothing  was  necessary  beyond  a 
show  of  arms;  there  was  no  need,  as  in  India,  of  a 
genuine  slaughter  of  the  irreconcilables.  Gladly  did  the 
Persians  accept  education,  and  within  a  generation  the 
country  of  Cyrus  and  Zoroaster  had  settled  down  to  one 
of  the  most  fruitfully  poetic  and  suggestive  fields  of 
democracy  in  the  world. 

Before  entering  into  Concordia,  the  global  world- 
capital,  it  was  necessary  to  report  to  the  consul  of  the 
nation  from  which  one  came,  to  explain  his  business,  to 
legitimize  himself,  and  receive  permission  from  the 
committee  on  population.  This  entailed  quite  a  little 
delay;  of  which  I  took  advantage  in  collating  my  notes 
on  Asian  conditions.  While  doing  so  I  for  the  first  time 
realized  the  colossal  fact  that  Asia  had  once  more 
become  the  chief  residence  of  humanity.  The  successive 
waves  of  emigration  from  the  Oxus  and  Jaxarthes  in 
prehistoric  Aryan  times  seemed  to  have  spent  themselves 
with  the  decimation  and  degeneration  of  the  white  race. 
Then  had  come  a  new  era,  when  the  world  was  federal- 
ized, when,  after  the  suicide  of  the  nomad,  free-booter 
white  race,  man  was  really  domesticated. 

It  will  be  supposed  that  these  formalities  were  not 
over-agreeable;  and  in  my  days  the  ideal  of  license,  of 
"anarchism,"  would  have  demanded  an  organization 
that  left  everybody  absolutely  free.  That,  to  begin  with, 
could  have  existed  only  if  every  human  being  had  been 
a  sage;  whereas  the  task  of  a  real  democracy  is  some- 
thing very  different;  it  takes  the  real  world  as  it  is  and 
has  to  transfigure  it;  making  sages,  as  well  as  dreaming 
about  them.  Now  the  opposite  of  anarchism  is  the  reign 
of  law.  This  also  is  it  that  transforms  license  into 
liberty;  and  Spencer,  as  I  have  already  suggested,  was 
on  the  wrong  tack,  when  he  inveighed  against  the 
coming  slavery.  On  the  contrary,  in  the  modern  world, 
man  had  lost  many  of  his  "natural"  rights,  the  right  to 
ignorance,  the  right  to  dirt,  the  right  to  foul  language. 


ASIA  GEOGRAPHIZED  289 

the  right  to  intoxication,  and  the  right  to  damnation. 
True  liberty  is  service  to  law.  "Come  unto  me,  all  ye 
that  travail,  and  are  heavy  laden,  and  I  will  give  you" 
the  true  rest  of  duty,  as  Wordsworth  sang.  "Take  my 
yoke  upon  you,  and  you  shall  find  rest  unto  your  souls." 
A  yoke  equalizes  two  co-operating  oxen;  and  thus  the 
gate  to  Concordia  bore  as  symbol  a  yoke,  surmounted 
by  a  crown. 


CHAPTER  XXVIII 
THE  WORLD-CAPITAL,  CONCORDIA 

I  must  confess  to  a  great  disappointment  in  not  finding 
the  world-capital  located  in  Palestine,  where,  according 
to  all  prophecies,  it  should  have  been.  I  acknowledged 
as  much  to  Acacia,  who  explained  to  me  the  reasons 
most  current  anent  the  matter.  Geographically,  Palestine 
was  not  suited  to  any  large  institutions,  or  terminal 
transportation  facilities.  Jerusalem  is  located  on  a  small 
elevated  table-land,  unapproachable  from  the  west; 
from  the  north  accessible  only  over  a  whole  series  of 
mountains;  from  the  east,  by  five  narrow  valleys,  and 
cut  off  southwards  by  a  desert.  Besides,  it  is  not  in  a 
spot  located  centrally  to  Europe;  and  can  be  reached 
from  Asia  only  over  a  desert.  The  climate  is  unfavor- 
able for  residence  or  labor ;  the  whole  country  is  broken 
up  into  districts  of  very  different  character,  high  moun- 
tains, abysmal  clefts,  small  valleys,  deserts  and  small 
lakes.  The  coast  is  unapproachable,  witness  the  Perseus 
and  Andromeda  myth  of  Joppa.  The  physical  conditions 
always  did  split  up  the  country  into  different  states. 

All  these  physical  disabilities,  however,  might  still 
have  been  overcome  had  it  not  been  for  the  Zionism 
that  followed  the  world-war.  The  Hebrew  political  re- 
establishment  re-erected  intolerance  of  the  most  reaction- 
ary nature.  This  was  fatal  to  a  cosmopolitanism  which 
Jewish  historical   experiences   might   well   have   taught 


THE  WORLD-CAPITAL,  CONCORDIA    291 

them.  Moreover,  there  was  a  renewal  of  local  traditions, 
such  as  of  the  tribes,  the  Samaritan  temple-worship,  the 
local  high  places  at  Dan  and  Beersheba;  and  as  in  the 
past,  these  split  the  orthodox  into  warring  camps,  and 
reacted  against  the  pure  theism  that  the  Jewish  race  had 
learned  only  in  the  dispersion. 

In  contrast  with  all  this,  Asia  Minor  had  been  selected 
for  two  chief  reasons.  Firstly,  the  population  and  its 
religious  inclinations  were  friendly.  This  domain  of  the 
"Seven  Churches  of  Asia,"  which  of  itself  was  mystically 
interesting,  had  been  the  site  of  the  earliest  Christianity 
mentioned  by  Pliny,  and  the  Armenians  near  by,  whose 
land  was  included  in  the  capital  area,  had  always  been 
the  eldest  sons  of  Christianity,  and  had  never  flinched 
under  a  persecution  of  two  milleniums,  —  think  of 
that ! 

Then,  geographically,  this  was  the  natural  centre  of 
three  continents,  Europe,  Asia,  and  Africa,  to  begin  with. 
The  through  European  train  went  under  the  Bosphorus 
in  a  tunnel  to  the  mouth  of  the  Danube,  or  rather  across 
the  Dobrudja  to  the  Danube  and  up  to  Switzerland, 
whence  diverged  the  trunk  lines  down  the  Rhine,  the 
Rhone,  and  under  the  St.  Gotthard;  and  England  was 
reached  by  the  Calais  tunnel.  To  Africa,  the  lines  ran 
via  either  the  coast  or  Hedjaz  desert  routes  to  Suez  and 
Cairo,  where  was  made  connection  with  the  Cape  to 
Cairo  railroad,  with  a  branch  along  the  Mediterranean 
to  Algiers,  and  from  Khartoum  to  Senegambia.  Asia 
itself  was  served  by  the  two  great  routes  to  Australia 
and  America.  The  Australian  train  went  down  Mesopo- 
tamia, along  the  Beluchistan  coast  to  India,  across  to 
Calcutta,  via  Burma  down  the  Malay  peninsula  to  Singa- 
pore, and  via  tunnel  to  Sumatra,  Java,  and  the  lesser 
Sunda  islands  to  Dehli,  in  Timor,  from  where  ran  a 
twenty-four  hour  ferry  trip  to  Palmeston,  where  the 
through  cars  were  run  on  to  the  main  cross  line  to  the 
capital  in  the  South-west  and  via  Adelaide  to  Melbourne 


292     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

and  Tasmania.  On  the  other  hand,  the  American  train 
ran  via  Tabriz,  Teheran,  to  Bokhara  and  thence  to  the 
Transsiberian  railroad  via  the  Baring  Straits  tunnel  to 
Alaska,  and  thence  via  Panama  to  Punta  Arenas.  Thus 
the  whole  world  was  reached  by  through  rail-connection. 

Nor  was  this  choice  new.  More  than  a  millenium  ago 
Constantine,  the  only  historical  character  who  faced  this 
problem,  had  already  made  this  decision;  but  he  located 
on  the  European  side,  because  he  lived  in  the  age  of  the 
domination  of  the  white  race;  but  now  that  the  sceptre 
had  passed  to  the  yellow,  the  Asian  side  was  the  more 
favorable.  Besides,  the  Asian  location  was  the  more 
suitable  for  the  terminal  facilities,  infinite  railroad 
yards  and  storage  facilities  for  the  world's  reserves  of 
food  and  supplies;  ample  depositaries  for  the  world's 
scientific  and  political  records,  aerodromes  for  all  the 
world's  through  air-lines,  and  unlimited  ship-yards  along 
the  coasts.  Constantine  had  indeed  crossed  the  Helles- 
pont for  the  location  of  the  church's  premier  ecumenical 
council  at  Nicea,  in  the  very  centre  of  the  plains  from 
Scutari  to  the  ruins  of  Troy,  dominated  by  the  twin 
heights  of  Olympus  and  Ida,  with  the  mystic  Aesculapius 
temple  location  of  the  Ak  Dagh  in  the  distance.  If  ever 
Washington  was  called  the  city  of  magnificent  distances, 
this  capital  plain,  extending  as  far  as  Ararat,  was  the 
most  superb  of  all. 

We  were  kept  in  a  sort  of  quarantine  for  six  weeks 
while  our  business  was  being  quietly  and  efficiently 
attended  to.  Every  continent  had  its  own  town,  in  which 
there  were  separate  suburbs  for  every  individual  state, 
which  in  turn  had  separate  quarters  for  every  province, 
and  buildings  for  every  city,  and  rooms  for  every  ward, 
in  which  were  card-indexed  duplicates  for  every  official 
card  issued  in  any  place  on  the  globe.  For  instance,  I 
had  the  pleasure  of  looking  up  myself  in  the  card-index; 
and  by  the  bye,  I  found  most  uncomplimentary  reports 
by  my  teachers  in  the  matrimonial  school.    It  was  from 


THE  WORLD-CAPITAL,  CONCORDIA    293 

here  that  dupHcates  of  my  certificates  had  been  sent  me 
to  Zamboanga,  and  I  followed  my  journeys  all  the  world 
over  without  a  break,  having  been  reported  by  the  rest- 
house  keepers  even  in  the  midst  of  the  Malay  jungles. 
I  was  told  that  at  death  of  any  individual  all  his  papers 
were  condensed  on  one  single  card,  and  all  the  originals 
destroyed. 

Each  one  of  these  towns  held  the  end  of  a  cable  to 
the  respective  continent,  with  sub-cables  to  the  nations, 
trunk-lines  to  provinces,  and  wires  to  every  city,  so  that 
the  central  government  could  at  once  communicate  tele- 
phonically  with  every  person  on  the  globe.  Here  also, 
in  the  centre  of  these  continent  cities,  was  a  central 
global  telephone  exchange,  so  that  anybody  anywhere 
could  communicate  with  anybody  anywhere  else. 

The  government  capital,  as  it  would  have  been  called, 
was  near  this  telephone  central ;  and  by  a  mere  wire 
connection  these  world-parliament  proceedings  could  be 
made  audible  to  every  city  in  the  world ;  and  anybody 
who  desired  it  was  connected  to  that  wire,  so  that  noth- 
ing secret  could  go  on;  and  when  a  delegate  spoke,  he 
was  actually  heard  all  around  the  globe.  Whenever  a 
representative's  constituents  were  weary  of  music,  they 
would  switch  on  his  conversation ;  it  was  a  veritable  fad 
among  the  rural  constituents.  There  were  no  more 
absenteeism,  no  more  evasions,  no  more  betrayals,  no 
more  graft,  no  more  corruption ! 

No  detailed  Congressional  Record  was  published ;  but 
all  proceedings  were  recorded  phonographically.  An 
annual  publication  merely  mentioned  what  records  had 
been  made.  This  enabled  the  reader  to  gain  an  outline 
view,  without  being  confused  by  the  details.  A  member's 
speech  was  limited  to  what  might  be  called  five  minutes. 
He  might  refer  to  sources  of  information,  and  other 
arguments ;  but  he  had  to  learn  to  condense  his  material 
beforehand  in  perfect  shape.  Having  thus  standardized 
all  speeches,  it  grew  to  be  quite  an  artistic  achievement 


294     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

to  crystallize  all  desired  arguments  on  to  one  single 
phonographic  record.  This  standardized  the  importance 
of  every  deputy. 

Moreover,  it  was  not  only  a  privilege  to  speak,  but  a 
duty.  Any  member  who  was  absent  could  send  in  his 
record,  which  was  then  read,  if  he  was  sick.  This  was 
the  only  excuse  accepted ;  all  other  absenteeism  involved 
citation  before  a  court;  and  for  the  third  time  replace- 
ment, permanently,  by  a  substitute  elected  for  that  pur- 
pose. Each  speech  also  contained  the  vote  on  that  ques- 
tion; so  that  without  any  further  roll-calling  or  other 
such  waste  of  time,  every  question  decided  itself  auto- 
matically. Before  the  close  of  the  subject  opportunity 
was  given  for  any  member  who  desired  to  change  his 
vote  to  do  so.  Thus  legislation  went  on  swiftly  and 
smoothly.  As  there  was  no  arbitrary  closure,  there  was 
no  need  of  manoeuvres;  any  question  could  be  reopened 
within  certain  limits. 

Gerrymandering  was  a  lost  art;  for  there  were  as 
many  states  as  riversheds,  whose  dividing  mountain- 
ranges  were  the  natural  frontiers.  At  the  same  time, 
there  was  a  standardized  number-representation,  not  by 
geography,  but  by  serial  birth-number.  This  was  in  effect 
the  intention  of  the  American  state- framers,  the  lower 
house  on  a  basis  of  population,  the  upper  on  a  basis  of 
geography,  thus  making  a  good  compromise  between 
both  bases.  In  the  American  governmental  system,  how- 
ever, these  principles  were  carried  out  unevenly.  With 
the  congressmen,  who  were  to  represent  numbers,  there 
was,  because  of  the  shift  in  population,  an  attempt  to 
define  districts,  which  had  to  be  altered  continuously, 
giving  opportunities  for  gerrymandering  by  the  last  party 
in  power.  The  classical  example  of  this  was  New  York 
State,  whose  voters,  for  twelve  continuous  years,  by 
majority  vote,  elected  the  Democratic  governor  Hill, 
whereas  the  same  votes,  arranged  by  gerrymandered 
districts,  concurrently  elected  a  Republican  legislature; 


THE  WORLD-CAPITAL,  CONCORDIA   295 

and  so  small  was  the  public  intelligence  that  when  at  last 
Hill  tried  to  correct  this  crying  injustice  by  throwing 
a  rectification  of  the  gerrymandered  districts  into  the 
Supreme  Court,  the  Republicans  defeated  him  by  crying 
gerrymander,  against  a  man  who  was  seeking  to  effect 
substantial  justice.  Such  political  crimes  would  be 
avoided  by  electing  congressmen  by  the  birth  serial 
number  of  so  many  constituents  as  might  be  agreed  on. 
In  thus  carrying  out  logically  the  intention  of  the 
framers  of  the  American  constitution,  it  should  not  be 
considered  that  any  criticism  is  passed  on  their  good 
intentions.  They  did  the  best  they  could  in  a  time  when 
no  one  had  thought  of  a  birth  serial  number;  indeed 
in  those  days  they  did  not  even  register  the  births. 

Again,  in  the  United  States,  the  intention  of  the 
American  Lincolnian  constitution  had  most  evidently 
been  geographic,  two  from  each  state;  but  they  had  no 
idea  of  a  state  as  big  as  Texas,  many,  many  times  as 
big  as  Rhode  Island.  Of  course,  suitable  provision  was 
made  to  apportion  senators  to  an  equal  number  of  square 
miles. 

This  compromise  between  numbers  and  geographic 
climate  made  a  much  better  arrangement  than  any  single 
chamber  proposal,  which  at  best  was  workable  only 
under  ideal  circumstances,  in  selected  cases.' 

Proposals  that  afifected  more  than  one  continent  had 
to  receive  the  approval  of  the  world-legislature;  and  this 
was  composed  of  a  number  of  bodies ;  first,  the  world- 
executive,  who  was  ineligible  for  a  second  term,  but 
whose  term  of  office  lasted  six  years,  or  one  of  the  ages 
of  man.  He  had  to  hail  from  each  of  the  continents  in 
turn.  Then  there  was  his  cabinet,  responsible  to  the 
president  alone.  The  names  of  these  officers  interested 
me.  No  longer  were  the  secretaries  named  of  state,  of 
war,  of  the  navy,  etc.,  but  of  labor,  communications, 
examinations  and  promotions,  agriculture,  hygiene, 
matrimony,  communication  with  other  planets,  psychical 


296     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

research,  and  education ;  but  above  all  there  was  a  high- 
priest  of  the  religion  of  democracy. 

Under  them  was  the  global  senate  and  house  of  rep- 
resentatives, already  described.  The  only  possible  crit- 
icism lay  against  the  senators,  whose  equal  geographic 
districts  did  differ  from  the  population  very  much.  But 
these  least^  representative  senators  were  often  the  most 
useful,  as  they  acted  as  land-agents  for  the  settlement  of 
sparsely  populated  districts,  and  made  every  effort  to 
develop  their  homes,  while  the  senators  from  over- 
populated  districts  did  their  utmost  to  encourage  emigra- 
tion. Under  these  influences  the  surface  of  the  globe 
came  to  be  evenly  populated. 

It  was  from  the  summit  of  Ak  Dagh,  the  ancient 
mountain  of  the  mysteries  of  Aesculapius,  above  the 
ruins  of  Pergamos,  the  highest  peak  of  Asia  Minor, 
from  which  one  could  see  all  the  districts  of  the  capital 
country,  that  came  the  hidden  spiritual  direction  that 
ruled  the  world.  Here  was  built  a  sanctuary  whose  chief 
hall  was  round,  with  curule  seats  along  the  wall,  and 
a  glassed  opening  at  the  centre,  where  met  the  elders 
of  the  world,  in  number  twenty-five,  five  from  each 
continent,  presided  over  by  a  pontifical  hierarch,  yearly 
appointed  by  the  president.  They  were  the  five  men, 
who,  in  their  continent,  had  come  into  most  intimate 
conscious  contact  with  the  Unseen  World.  They 
perpetuated  themselves  by  vote,  which  was  professedly 
unpartisan.  They  werfe  incapable  of  any  political  func- 
tion, and  their  authority  was  limited  to  spiritual  matters ; 
and  so  that  tyranny  might  find  no  asylum  among  them, 
they  could  be  dispossessed  by  popular  vote.  As  soon  as 
tl;iey  were  by  the  president  notified  that  any  accusation 
was  impending  over  them,  they  were  privileged  to  travel 
around  the  world  to  defend  the  genuineness  of  their, 
revelations;  and  none  could  be  confirmed  except  by 
miraculous  approval  from  the  Unseen,  given  concur- 
rently by  vision,  audition,  or  sense-perception  of  some 


THE  WORLD-CAPITAL,  CONCORDIA   297 

kind.  For  this  many  had  to  wait  long;  some  were  dis- 
possessed because  this  failed  to  come  within  a  certain 
number  of  years.  The  body  acted  as  the  oracles  of  God, 
as  which,  indeed,  in  lesser  degree,  every  man  should 
speak.  No  man  was  admitted  who  held  any  office  in  any 
sectarian  religious  body. 

I  had  already  come  into  contact  with  some  of  the 
sages  on  my  ocean  trip  to  Australia ;  but  since  then  I  had 
barely  seen  any  of  them  at  a  distance.  I  was,  however, 
fortunate  enough  to  recognize  one  of  those  I  had  met 
on  the  ocean ;  and  he  chaperoned  me,  offering  to  instruct 
me  in  some  of  the  mysteries  of  interior  initiation.  I 
gladly  accepted  the  offer,  for  a  later  period,  when  my 
civil  standing  should  have  been  regulated,  and  I  had 
visited  the  whole  capital  district. 

However,  I  made  hay  while  the  sun  shone.  I  insisted 
on  a  preliminary  lesson.  He  taught  me  how  to  settle 
any  case  of  doubt  or  difficulty  by  the  concurrence  of 
three  methods  of  communion  with  the  Unseen;  insight, 
by  looking,  in  the  dark,  at  whatever  images  persist  in 
forming  themselves  before  the  eyes ;  conscience,  by  listen- 
ing to  the  silent  voice  which  speaks  between  the  ears 
when  the  outer  mind  is  hushed ;  and  third,  intuition, 
which  consists  of  impressions  of  smell,  taste,  or  body- 
feeling,  while  sitting  quietly  or  standing.  He  said  that 
this  was  what  had  been  intended  by  Molinos,  who  had 
taught  the  three  silences  of  speech  (conscience),  desire 
(intuition)  and  thought  (insight). 

He  asked  me  whether  I  had  any  ambitions  to  be 
selected  as  a  sage.  I  answered  that  of  course  wisdom  was 
desirable,  and  that  for  so  unattached  a  person  as  I  no 
renunciation  would  be  very  difficult.  He  advised  me  to 
become  personally  acquainted  with  as  many  sages  as 
possible,  so  as  to  earn  their  approval,  and  vote. 

When  I  was  young,  I  had  been  initiated  into  the 
Scottish  Rite.  I  asked  if  it  was  still  in  existence.  I  was 
told  that  it  had  been  rearranged  on  a  logical  basis.    That 


298     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

name  had  been  dropped,  because  really  there  had  been 
nothing  Scottish  about  it.  Besides,  this  would  have 
limited  it  to  a  small  nationality,  while  its  initiations  were 
really  entirely  international.  It  was  therefore  called  the 
International  Rite,  and  its  highest  degrees  conferred  the 
most  honorable  human  title,  that  of  "cosmopolitan." 
Each  degree  could  be  received  only  in  its  own  country. 
For  instance,  the  Buddha  degree  could  be  received  only 
under  the  original  Bo  tree  in  India.  The  Melchizedekian 
degree  could  be  received  only  in  the  Hebrew  temple  in 
Jerusalem.  In  Lincolnia,  the  national  degree  was  that 
of  Hiawatha,  which  resumed  the  best  of  Indian  teach- 
ings and  practices,  including  the  initiatory  fast  in  the 
desert.  In  France  only  was  given  the  Jeanne  d'Arc 
degree;  in  Italy,  that  of  Egeria,  the  forest  tutelary  genius 
that  inspired  the  laws  written  and  established  by  Numa 
Pompilius. 

In  my  earliest  days,  in  many  parts,  the  Masonic  degrees 
had  become  no  more  than  a  dining  society,  for  Hebrew 
lawyers  in  one  branch,  and  for  Christian  business  men 
in  the  other.  Still,  the  Masonic  influence  was  one  of 
the  greatest  powers  for  the  establishment  of  democracy, 
and  it  was  remarkable  that  in  the  world-war  the  central 
powers  of  tyranny  were  those  among  whom  Masonry 
had  practically  been  suppressed.  On  the  other  hand,  at 
the  close  of  the  war,  Masonry  spread  all  over  the  world, 
the  Grand  Orient  of  France  was  reunited  to  the  English 
Masonry  and  this  reunited  rite  became  the  backbone  of 
the  establishment  of  the  religion  of  democracy. 

What  was  the  prevailing  style  of  architecture?  Each 
continent  had  developed  its  own.  Every  state  had 
adopted  a  style  peculiarly  suited  to  its  natural  resources. 
In  my  youth  I  had  been  struck  by  the  remarkable  fond- 
ness for  Greek  architecture  in  Lincolnia,  in  the  land  of 
Hiawatha  and  the  pueblos  where  the  Mayan  Indian  tepee 
style  should  have  prevailed.  The  world-style  was  an 
eclectic  compound  of  all  the  five  continental  styles,  and 


THE  WORLD-CAPITAL,  CONCORDIA   299 

one  could  at  a  glance  tell  a  global  or  federal  building  by 
its  fusion  of  all  five  styles.  These  had  been  so  harmoni- 
ously combined  that  the  whole  formed  a  unity  of  an 
almost  new  order.  Europe  was  represented  by  the 
Gothic,  the  conventionalization  of  a  forest  of  trees. 
Africa,  by  the  so-called  Greek,  but  really  Egyptian  con- 
ventionalization of  forest-leaves.  America,  by  the  Mis- 
sion style,  suited  to  hot  climates,  and  reminiscent  of  the 
Spanish  missions.  Australia  had  adopted  the  Romanesque 
arches,  conventionalizing  its  native  palms,  acacias  and 
ferns. 

On  each  of  the  three  main  peaks  of  this  metropolitan, 
or  rather,  cosmopolitan,  district  stood  a  separate  sanctu- 
ary. On  Ak  Dagh,  the  mystic  and  religious  sanctuary. 
On  Mt.  Olympus,  the  political  centre;  and  on  Mt.  Ida, 
above  ancient  Troy,  the  educational.  Astronomical  world- 
administration  and  co-ordination,  including  marine  longi- 
tude, was  no  more  reckoned  from  Greenwich  —  what 
argument  could  be  advanced  for  that  grimy,  slimy  and 
unhistorical  spot?  —  but  from  Mt.  Ararat,  that  centre 
of  the  earliest  traditions  of  the  human  race,  the  starting- 
point  of  human  migrations,  the  highest  peak  of  that 
Nakitchevan  district,  where  the  only  unviolated  tomb  is 
that  of  Noah.  Communications  with  other  planets 
were  held  from  the  comparatively  neighboring  Hima- 
layas. 

Here  took  place  the  meetings  of  the  yearly  reunion 
of  world-wide  scientific  societies,  transportation  to 
which  by  air-plane  was  comparatively  easy,  from  all 
parts  of  the  world.  Though  by  rail  under  Baring  Straits 
South  America  was  the  furthest  continent,  yet  by  air 
route  across  Africa  and  the  Atlantic  Saragasso  Sea  it 
was  equally  near  with  Australia;  which  was  no  further 
than  Kamschatka.  So  Ararat  really  was  the  centre  of 
the  habitable  globe. 

I  was  given  permission  to  roam  around  the  central 
museums  of  natural  history,  commerce,  hygiene,  agri- 


300     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

culture,  biology,  clothing,  books  of  art.  It  seems  that 
every  museum  on  the  habitable  globe  contributed  to  this 
central  aggregation  a  duplicate  of  its  collections;  so  that 
here  in  the  Concordia  world-museums  it  was  possible  to 
study  a  complete  record  of  human  contemporary  civiliza- 
tion. Of  course,  copyright  was  of  world-wide  scope. 
The  museum  of  inventions  was  thoroughly  classified,  so 
that  the  progress  of  man  in  any  line  could  easily  be 
followed  at  a  glance.  Prominent  among  these  buildings 
was  the  laboratory  of  biology,  in  which  the  problem  of 
life  was  being  studied  and  developed.  It  was  found  that 
physical  life  was  a  form  parallel  to  spirit;  that  physical 
creation  was  impossible  and  undesirable  except  in  its 
most  rudimentary  forms,  such  as  sea-urchins,  while 
through  the  knowledge  gained  from  anaesthetic  condi- 
tions psychical  causes  could  be  given  parallel  physical 
embodiment.  The  whole  evolutional  process  ought  to 
have  from  the  start  made  plain  that  life  is  a  progressive 
incarnation  of  mind,  and  that  materialism  is  both  blind- 
ness and  lack  of  reflection.  The  practical  laboratory 
problems  remained  the  perpetuation  of  helpful  forms, 
and  the  discouragement  of  unfavorable  forms,  rather 
than  any  attempt  to  create  fresh  living  forms.  However, 
success  had  been  scored  in  the  elimination  of  undesirable 
vermin,  and  repulsive  rudimentary  species. 

The  laboratory  of  longevity  was  much  interested  in 
retarding  dissolution.  Here  I  recognized  Brown- 
Sequard's  elixir,  the  Metschnikoff  Bulgarian  milk- 
bacillus,  and  the  writings  of  Luigi  Cornaro,  including 
valuable  modern  treatises  on  the  subject.  It  was  found 
that  the  principal  element  of  longevity  was  the  avoidance 
of  waste  of  vitality,  in  my  days  prodigally  scorned.  The 
functions  of  the  pituitary  body,  the  thyroid  and  other 
less  known  glands  had  led  to  valuable  progress  not  only 
for  individuals,  but  for  the  whole  race.  I  myself  was 
carefully  examined,  and  studied  ad  nauseam,  until  my 
friend  effected  my  release  on  the  ground  of  sickness; 


THE  WORLD-CAPITAL,  CONCORDL\    301 

though  not  before  I  had  been  photographed,  measured 
and  recorded,  palpated  and  thumb,  palm  and  foot 
printed  most  minutely.  Cultures  were  taken  of  my 
blood,  x-ray  reproductions  of  every  part,  with  notes 
of  the  condition  of  every  organ  and  gland.  However 
they  found  everything  normal,  and  were  compelled  to 
study  the  spiritual  causes  for  my  survival.  It  is  in  the 
unseen  world  that  are  located  the  genuine  miracles. 

Historians,  from  the  college  of  history,  also  victimized 
me ;  and  I  was  put  to  shame  by  the  very  exact  knowledge 
of  my  own  times  with  which,  in  many  instances,  they 
enlightened  me.  I  was,  however,  able  to  do  for  them 
something  of  inestimable  value :  restore  the  true  per- 
spective of  the  general  spirit  of  the  times.  What  they 
knew  was  most  exactly  recorded,  but  what  they  ignored 
was  of  course  left  out  of  their  judgments.  There  is 
where  history,  even  in  my  days,  was  at  fault.  However 
the  modern  historian  had  a  good  excuse  in  the  destruc- 
tion of  valuable  documents  during  the  world-war  for 
democracy. 

The  central  laboratory  of  psychical  research  had 
finally  gathered  sufficient  data  to  establish  mental  sur- 
vival after  death  for  a  short  period ;  and  its  only  use 
was  for  ever  to  ruin  materialism;  although  the  further 
curtain  was  never  lifted.  It  was  proved  that  the  more 
material  parts  of  the  soul  survived  the  body,  in  these 
surroundings,  but  a  short  while;  and  might  never  hope 
to  be  more  definitely  dealt  with.  Many  cases  of  rein- 
carnation had  been  examined  and  completely  recorded, 
with  the  result  of  the  accumulation  of  a  mass  of  material. 
Forever  disproved  was  astrology,  as  through  general 
education  it  had  become  possible  to  prove  to  the  masses 
that  the  mere  geocentric  aspects  could  never  be  more 
than  apparent.  However,  the  psychic  and  fatal  influ- 
ences of  the  planets  and  other  heavenly  bodies  were 
being  more  accurately  gathered  and  studied  than  was 
ever  possible  before.     Coincidences  had  been  carefully 


302      A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

recorded  and  tabulated,  with  the  discovery  of  hitherto 
unsuspected  laws  of  destiny. 

Indeed,  until  the  federalization  of  the  world  these 
and  similar  enquiries  could  never  hope  to  achieve  more 
than  partial,  distorted  or  stunted  conclusions.  Thus 
much  human  ingenuity  was  conserved  and  better 
directed,  and  for  the  first  time  given  universal  records 
to  study.  It  was  no  longer  necessary  to  reinvent  discov- 
eries. Every  student  had  at  his  command  the  results  of 
every  other  investigator,  with  the  result  that  the  progress 
of  humanity  was  as  sure  as  it  was  rapid.  The  whole 
of  Asia  Minor  was  one  vast  work-shop  and  literary 
colony.  Egypt,  Lybia  and  Macedonia  were  being  pene- 
trated by  this  culture,  and  the  whole  region  had  once 
more  become  the  Holy  Land  of  the  world.  Christianity 
itself  had  here  undergone  a  redintegration  into  the  soul 
life  of  the  world,  for  the  local  allusions  and  tempera- 
ment interpreted  it  better  than  libraries  of  comment- 
aries. 

There  was  also  a  college  of  languages.  Here,  of 
course,  the  international  had  been  perfected  and  devel- 
oped, and  translations  of  all  local  classics  were  made, 
corrected,  or  published.  But  the  chief  interest  was  to 
compare  and  explain  the  ancient  tongues,  from  which 
the  ethnologists  had  derived  many  valuable  insights, 
which  had  helped  to  explain  the  nature  and  career  of 
man.  The  language  of  the  animals  was  recorded  and 
explained,  with  wonderful  illumination  of  human  origin 
and  destiny. 

The  college  of  comparative  religions  interested  me 
most.  Here  all  human  teachings  about  the  soul  and  her 
destiny  were  collated  and  illustrated.  The  department 
of  mystery-rites  fascinated  me,  and  here  could  be  seen 
model  reconstructions  of  the  ancient  sanctuaries  of  every 
rite  known  to  man.  They  had  every  rite  carried  out  in 
schedule  order,  so  that  the  student  learned  their  emo- 
tional values,  as  well  as  their  literary  construction.   Here 


THE  WORLD-CAPITAL,  CONCORDIA    303 

were  found  the  old  church  liturgies  and  the  recent 
rituals  of  all  the  modern  reformed  bodies.  It  was  from 
these  studies  that  were  evolved  the  new  national  and 
international  rites  of  the  religion  of  democracy. 

The  college  of  human  origins  was  so  well  organized 
that  the  ascending  history  of  the  living  organism  was 
diagrammed,  and  everything  ascertained  about  details 
of  evolution  made  so  accessible  that  the  department  of 
resultant  theories  was  much  simplified. 

In  the  mountain-valley  above  Ephesus,  near  Hier- 
apolis,  were  great  open  theatres,  where  dramatic  art  was 
studied  objectively.  Besides  educational  performances 
of  the  great  dramatists  of  all  times  and  ages  (not  merely 
Shakespeare  or  Sophokles),  there  was  a  school  of  crea- 
tive dramatics,  whose  best  results  were  performed  and 
filmed  for  all  the  world;  not  merely  for  sight,  but  with 
the  concurrent  hearing  of  words.  By  this  time  the  films 
were  all  colored,  so  that  with  the  voice  along  with  them, 
the  illusion  was  good  enough  to  draw  crowds,  which  in 
these  days  of  telephones  and  teloptiphones  was  quite  a 
feat. 

The  college  of  musical  art  was  designed  not  only  to 
rehearse  the  best  that  the  world  had  till  then  produced, 
but  to  create  new  music,  and  even  instruments.  In  my 
days  the  mechanical  pianos  had  just  begun  to  introduce 
good  music  into  general  appreciation,  but  the  fabulous 
prices  and  immense  commissions  to  agents  (amounting 
to  often  60  per  cent,  of  the  selling-price)  made  the 
matter  a  farce.  All  this  was  changed;  and  no  person 
could  lay  claim  to  culture  who  did  not  know  a  standard 
list  of  great  works  of  all  schools.  New  instruments  had 
been  invented,  enriching  and  standardizing  the  orchestra, 
and  clearing  up  the  falseness  of  the  brasses.  The  piano 
key-board,  following  the  A,  D.  1825  suggestion  of  Phi- 
quepal  d'Arusmont,  had  been  made  even,  on  the  basis 
of  twelve,  so  that  any  piece,  once  learned,  could  be 
played  in  any  key.     The  musical  notation  that  he  had 


304     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

suggested,  pirated  by  the  tonic  sol-fa  people,  was  used 
for  much  the  same  purposes  for  which  they  had  employed 
it.  The  old  five-line  arrangement  had  been  extended  to 
six,  allowing  for  a  full  octave  and  a  half,  the  extent  of 
the  human  voice,  without  ledger-lines.  For  music  that 
needed  it  they  added  a  third  staff  either  above  or  below, 
so  that  those  vertiginous  flights  of  the  treble  were 
reduced  to  comprehension.  The  insane  concurrent  use 
of  different  clefs  had  of  course  been  standardized  into 
one,  that  is,  none  at  all  were  needed.  When  I  asked  to 
see  some  orchestral  music,  and  saw  there  was  only  one 
system  for  all  instruments,  and  burst  out  laughing,  try- 
ing to  explain  to  the  experts  how  in  my  day  every 
instrument  had  had  a  different  clef,  and  in  the  case  of 
the  brasses  even  in  different  keys,  they  wondered 
whether  any  musicians  of  my  day  escaped  the  lunatic 
asylum.  At  this  I  laughed  too,  acknowledging  that  many 
of  them  showed  so  much  temperament  as  to  betray  that 
there  must  have  been  a  screw  loose  somewhere. 

All  pieces  had  been  simplified  to  the  utmost,  so  that 
the  least  experienced  could  perform  them.  For  instance, 
in  my  day,  the  only  accessible  copies  of  the  "Rosary" 
were  in  seven  sharps,  which  might  just  as  easily  have 
been  raised  or  lowered  a  semi-tone,  and  thus  done  away 
with  all  difficulty.  Mere  genre-pieces,  such  as  the  "Wak- 
ing of  the  Lion,"  by  De  Kontsky,  and  pyrotechnics  pure 
and  simple,  were  laid  aside  as  insane  and  vulgar.  I  may 
add  that  singing  was  part  of  universal  education,  so  that 
everybody  could  play  and  sing  a  little.  The  stringed 
instruments  had,  like  guitars,  been  standardized  on  their 
fingerboards,  and  the  seven  positions  reduced  to  two  or 
three,  so  that  they  were  comparatively  easy.  Even  in 
my  day  practice  on  the  piano  had  been  standardized  by 
the  clavier,  and  on  the  violin,  by  the  skeleton.  But  since 
then  a  violinist  had  demonstrated  that  better  results 
could  be  secured  by  psychological  methods,  rather  than 
by  the  ancient  purely  mechanical  atrocities  inflicted  on 


THE  WORLD-CAPITAL,  CONCORDIA   305 

the  victim  aspirants.  This  had  reduced  the  learning 
stage  so  that  playing  of  instruments  also  had  become 
common  property. 

Another  interesting  change  had  taken  place.  Although 
in  literature  nobody  was  satisfied  with  merely  reading, 
but  was  expected  to  be  able  to  write  a  few  connected 
sentences,  so  in  music  nowadays  an  educated  person 
would  have  been  ashamed  to  read,  without  a  little  writ- 
ing of  music.  Moreover,  people  sang  freely,  without 
always  waiting  for  a  piano  accompaniment.  Absolute 
pitch  was  taught  at  once  in  the  elementary  schools. 

In  the  college  there  was  also  a  therapeutic  department. 
All  existing  music  had  been  graded,  not  only  by  diffi- 
culty, but  by  psychical  effect;  so  that  the  sick,  and 
especially  their  healers,  knew  exactly  what  pieces  to  play 
for  the  melancholy  or  the  insane. 

Interesting  also  was  the  college  of  representation. 
Here  were  taught,  studied  and  developed  drawing, 
modeling,  and  painting.  I  shall  not  bore  the  reader 
with  endless  minutiae,  but  limit  myself  to  a  few  insights. 
To  begin  with,  I  was  much  relieved  to  find  that  cubism, 
vorticism,  impressionism,  and  all  other  freak  methods, 
had  by  this  time  been  properly  classified  as  painters' 
technique;  which  to  the  student  was  immensely  suggest- 
ive, but  of  course  had  no  significance  for  the  general 
public,  except  to  cast  well-merited  suspicion  of  insanity 
on  the  whole  profession.  The  only  art  that  survived 
was  good,  well  drawn,  well  colored,  and  suggestive. 
This  latter  principle  relegated  all  nudes  and  still  life 
atrocities  to  their  proper  places  as  stages  in  the  students' 
curriculum ;  but  any  one  who  would  have  exhibited 
such  a  stupidity  would  thereby  have  been  demoted  to 
the  primary  department,  where  such  effusions,  nay, 
rather  diffusions,  were  necessary. 

Connected  with  this  college  was  a  department  of 
costum.e  designing,  or  sartorial  college.  Here  were 
studied  all   the  costumes  of  the  various  periods,   and 


306     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

here  was  evolved  the  modern  garb  described  above.  This 
was  by  no  means  final,  to  begin  with;  but  half-baked 
efforts  were  not  inflicted  on  the  public  by  competitive 
modistes.  Costume  designing  having  been  municipal- 
ized, it  was  no  longer  to  anybody's  interest  to  change 
models,  unless  there  was  some  good  reason.  Here  were 
designed  special  costumes  for  different  occupations, 
climates  and  ages,  and  any  trifling  need  of  any  pro- 
fession was  recognized  in  some  special  adaptation  of 
the  general  garb. 

The  painter's  education  had  also  been  standardized. 
In  my  day  a  talented  child  would  go  to  some  eccentric 
painter  and  immediately  specialize  into  his  worst  points, 
exaggerating  them;  then  he  would  spend  the  rest  of  his 
life  growing  more  and  more  lop-sided,  like  an  opium- 
eater's  night-mare.  The  prejudices  of  such  daubers 
were  no  more  than  organized  ignorance ;  and  the  worst 
part  was  that  they  did  not  realize  it,  and  therefore  spent 
their  lives  contaminating  the  healthy  taste  of  the  average 
normal  individual.  Nowadays  a  painter,  before  he  was 
allowed  to  exhibit,  had  to  have  painted  a  picture  of 
every  imaginable  kind:  a  still  life,  a  nude,  a  landscape, 
a  ruin,  a  portrait,  a  seascape,  a  home  interior,  a  crowd, 
a  battle,  various  country  costumes,  cattle,  an  Arabian 
horse  scene,  wild  animals,  etc.  There  was  a  standardized 
list  through  which  every  student  had  to  go  before  he 
was  allowed  to  exhibit  or  sell  a  picture.  The  reason 
was  that  not  until  so  wide  an  education  had  been 
achieved  was  anyone  certain  that  his  "original"  ideas 
were  any  more  than  a  "mare's  nest." 

Two  more  innovations  had  revolutionized  art.  To 
begin  with,  the  comparative  method  had  been  introduced. 
Every  picture  was  simultaneously  painted  by  no  less 
than  a  dozen  students ;  and  their  simultaneous  exposition 
taught  more  than  all  the  ill-humored  and  fantastic  crit- 
icisms of  alleged  "masters."  Schools,  of  course,  had 
dozens  of  each  kind  of  pictures  in  reserve,  so  that  even 


THE  WORLD-CAPITAL,  CONCORDIA    307 

if  they  had  but  a  single  student,  they  could  still  teach 
by  the  comparative  method. 

Another  insight  was  the  result  of  historical  art-study. 
The  "ancient  masters"  then  naturally  fell  into  their 
proper  place  of  the  childhood  of  art,  in  which  they  no 
doubt  accomplished  wonders,  without  obscuring  the 
remarkable  progress  of  modern  times.  A  poem  may 
illustrate  the  point: 

Thank  God  the  classic  masters  all  are  dead, 
Nor  any  more  can  paintings  perpetrate! 
Let  none  disturb  their  ashes  by  his  tread, 
Lest,   by  mistake,   they   should  resuscitate! 

The  only  reason  that  they  are  masters  called 
Is   that   the    Grecian  painters'   works   were    lost; 
Let  life-like  Greek  perspective  be  recalled. 
Then  count  what  mediaeval  art  has  cost! 

They  were  the  kind  of  men  who  could  destroy 

The  noble  statues  of  antiquity. 

Then  cherubs  paint  with  violin  and  toy, 

And  saints  so  fat  they  could  not  kneel  to  pray! 

Commend  me  to  madonnas  muscular; 
To  angels,  peacock-winged,  a-playing  flutes; 
Apostles  in  cocked  hat,  with   sword  and  star; 
To  scanty  draperies  like  parachutes! 

I  had  forgot  their  one  lucidity! 
Statue  of  Zeus,  to  save  their  sacred  cash 
Used  for  Saint  Peter,  when  to  thee  monks  pray, 
How  must  thou  scorn  their  mediaeval  trash! 


CHAPTER  XXIX 
THE  WORLD  HALL  OF  FAME 

Heady  as  champagne  were  to  me  these  new  conditions 
of  life.  At  least,  they  lulled  me  into  a  forgetfulness  of 
my  health  until  one  evening,  when  I  entered  the  room 
I  occupied  in  common  with  Acacia.  At  the  door  I  was 
rooted  to  the  ground  by  seeing  between  Acacia's  bed 
and  mine,  seated  on  a  chair,  a  luminous  veiled  figure, 
wearing  a  crown  of  flowers,  with  large  furled  wings, 
playing  a  harp,  whose  soft  flowing  cadences  made  my 
blood  run  cold,  their  sound  being  as  unearthly  as  the 
flowing  of  many  waters.  Still  might  I  have  been  stand- 
ing there,  but  that  a  step  on  the  back  stairs  momentarily 
forced  me  to  turn  around ;  and  when  I  looked  back  to 
the  vision,  it  had  fled,  leaving  the  room  in  darkness.  I 
immediately  remembered  that  it  was  the  last  day  of 
August,  when  there  remained  to  me  only  a  few  days 
of  life. 

So  wonderful  had  Acacia  been  to  me,  that  I  did  not 
dare  complicate  his  existence  with  all  the  slow  agony 
of  my  demise;  I  remembered  how,  for  the  last  few 
weeks  of  my  former  agony,  I  had,  out  of  sheer  weak- 
ness, wept,  even  while  trying  to  keep  the  truth  from 
Rose,  —  how  near  to-night  seemed  she,  to  whom  I 
doubly  owed  this  delightful  year  of  friendship !  Know- 
ing that  Acacia  would  be  coming  in  soon,  and  that  I 

might  not  be  able  to  hide  from  him  the  ghastly  pallor 

308 


THE  WORLD  HALL  OF  FAME  309 

that  the  mirror  betrayed,  I  broke  our  sweet  habit  of 
mutual  tarrying,  for  a  quarter  of  an  hour's  mutual 
meditation  and  prayer.  Rushing  into  my  pyjamas,  I 
feigned  sleep. 

When  he  entered,  I  felt  I  was  blushing  at  his  scrutiny ; 
he  slowly  prepared  himself  to  retire,  and  spent  longer 
than  usual  in  meditation,  studying  me  with  a  troubled 
gaze.  As  soon  as  the  light  was  out,  I  silently  wept  at 
the  first  deception  between  us,  I  felt  as  lonely  as  when 
on  the  boat  leaving  Valparaiso.  Yet  it  was  to  save  him 
that  I  was  doing  this.  I  must  somehow  disappear  and 
die  alone;  I  had  no  right  to  burden  him  with  my  death- 
agony. 

But  how  should  I  escape?  Certainly  not  by  running 
away;  for  I  lacked  the  strength,  the  knowledge,  or  a 
fixed  plan.  All  I  could  do  was  to  keep  him  in  ignorance 
of  my  circumstances,  by  a  cheerful,  untroubled  demeanor. 
Then  I  might  in  the  meanwhile  spy  out  the  city  of  the 
dead,  by  the  side  of  the  Hellespont;  and  if  necessary, 
end  my  life  all  at  once  in  the  waters,  apparently  by 
accident;  it  must  be  at  night,  to  avoid  any  rescue.  But 
to  accomplish  all  this,  I  must,  in  the  morning,  deceive 
him.  For  hours  I  tried  to  summon  to  my  aid  whatever 
arts  of  dissimulation  I  could  muster;  but  like  lead  sank 
my  heart  at  the  realization  that  my  tragic  purpose  would 
betray  itself  before  those  kindly  but  undeceivable  eyes 
with  which  I  had  freely  lived  day  in,  day  out  for  nearly 
a  year.  Paper  alone,  therefore,  could  hide  my  emotion; 
so,  before  the  dawn,  I  very  quietly  arose,  wrote  a  little 
friendly,  nay,  affectionate  note,  telling  him  I  was  taking 
an  early  car  for  the  necropolis  I  had  never  visited ;  that 
I  hoped  he  had  had  a  good  day,  and  would  have 
another  one.  I  closed  briefly  if  sincerely,  "Your  grateful 
friend." 

Softly  and  swiftly  I  tip-toed  down-stairs,  let  myself 
out,  and  hastened  towards  the  local  monorail  which 
transferred  me  to  the  car  that  set  me  down,  at  dawn, 


310     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

at  the  magnificent  Egyptian  sphinx-gate  of  the  necropolis 
of  the  capital  of  the  world. 

Knowing  that  this  was  my  last  day,  I  gazed  at  my 
surroundings  with  peculiar  interest.  Never  had  the 
birds  sung  more  sweetly,  and  I  drank  in  their  liquid 
notes  and  tender  cadences  with  an  avidity  born  of  an 
effort  to  take  them  with  me  for  all  eternity. 

The  first  impression  I  received  was  that  in  modern 
times  there  was  no  more  of  the  revolting  decay  in  the 
vaults  or  under  the  ground  of  the  cemetery,  so  common 
in  my  day.  I  remember  once  having  taken  a  funeral 
at  one  of  the  most  fashionable  cemeteries  in  Phila- 
delphia, at  which  time  a  vault  was  opened,  and  the 
casket  lowered  into  it.  I  could  see  stacks  of  them 
mouldered  down  to  a  quarter  of  their  original  thickness, 
with  a  noisome  stench  arising  from  a  mass  of  jumbled 
bones,  moving  as  the  giant  maggots  caressed  and  fought. 
From  that  moment  I  believed  in  cremation,  as  the  only 
cure  for  corruption,  whether  hidden  underground  as 
they  did  in  my  day,  or  whether  it  was  shut  off  in  the 
Parsee  Towers  of  Silence,  which  after  all  was  the  less 
repulsive  method.  But  in  either  case  such  a  noisome 
horror  must  be  the  last  insult  to  a  form  we  once  loved, 
even  though  we  succeed  in  hiding  it. 

There  was  another  reason  why  I  had  always  preferred 
cremation;  and  that  was  those  terrible  mistakes  of  bury- 
ing alive  those  we  love,  as  has  often  been  proved  by  the 
desperate  struggles  of  the  supposed  corpses  in  many 
cases  of  accidental  opening  of  the  grave.  In  my  child- 
hood I  had  in  a  newspaper  article  seen  the  statistics  of 
bodies  found  to  have  been  buried  alive  in  the  country 
districts,  where  embalmment  did  not  insure  death.  It 
was  so  high  that  it  would  not  be  generally  believed. 
In  my  days  the  trance  state  was  not  well  understood, 
and  there  occurred  cases  like  that*  of  the  pastor  of  the 
Tennant  Church,  at  Freehold,  N.  J.,  where,  after  a 
pastorate   of   43   years,   the   minister   was   saved    from 


THE  WORLD  HALL  OF  FAME  311 

burial  only  by  the  utmost  pleadings  of  his  bride  Genevra, 
who  had  indeed  the  satisfaction  of  seeing  him  reani- 
mated, although  his  memory  was  gone,  and  he  had  to 
be  re-educated.  There  is  also  the  historical  instance  of 
the  Dutch  anatomist  who  was  startled  by  the  reanima- 
tion  of  his  intended  victim. 

Such  trances  were  of  course  common  in  southern 
countries ;  and  this  accounted  for  many  historical  reani- 
mations.  That  is  why  they,  like  the  Parsees,  broke  the 
legs  of  those  who  had  been  crucified.  Embalming  of 
course  accomplishes  the  same  result;  but  that  in  itself 
is  horribly  repulsive;  and  that  practice  survives  only 
because  it  is  done  secretly.  The  wholesale  embalm- 
ments of  incorporated  undertakers  are  merciful  in  that 
they  insure  against  reanimation;  but  cremation  accom- 
plishes the  same  result  more  painlessly. 

Cremation  is  the  only  decent  and  safe  disposal  of  the 
dead ;  but  what  about  the  living  ?  Consider  the  case  of 
Philadelphia,  where  the  Schuylkill  waterworks  take  in 
the  river  water  immediately  after  having  flowed  over 
a  mile  beneath  the  Laurel  Hill  cemeteries.  Is  the 
putrescence  of  that  city's.politics  any  wonder? 

Here  in  this  beautiful  modern  cemetery  the  ashes 
were  strewn  in  the  grass,  and  the  mourners  planted  a 
flower  or  tree  of  the  kind  that  had  furnished  the  name 
of  the  departed,  adding  a  plate,  bearing  the  deceased's 
name  and  favorite  motto.  Here  were  no  comic  inscrip- 
tions of  the  kind  that  notified  posterity  that  "Johnny 
Jones  had  gone  to  hell,"  or  that  fill  the  comic  journals. 
They  were  either  excerpts  from  the  scriptures,  or 
reflections  of  the  deceased;  but  in  all  cases  they  were 
passed  on  by  the  local  college  of  sages. 

So  under  beautiful  whispering  groves  I  dragged  my 
reluctant  footsteps,  waiting  for  the  evening  hour  when 
I  should  find  release  from  the  burdens  of  the  flesh. 
Prolongation  of  existence  has  always  been  the  most 
treasured  dream  of  humanity;  and  while  others  sought 


312     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

it,  tearfully,  and  with  all  the  resources  of  science,  here, 
with  all  the  perversity  of  fate,  I  was  endeavoring  to  get 
rid  of  it  without  molestation.  I  felt  like  the  legendary 
Wandering  Jew;  I  exulted  that  this  sunset  was  the  last 
I  should  ever  behold.  Slowly  I  lounged  around,  waiting 
for  the  sun  to  complete  his  deliberate  progress  through 
the  impassive  sky. 

Having  taken  no  food,  in  the  afternoon  I  felt  faint 
and  sleepy;  so  I  dozed.  But  I  was  startled  by  the 
strains  that  ushered  in  a  funeral,  and  I  caught  myself 
envying  the  deceased.  Morbidly  I  watched  the  proces- 
sion approach.  Behind  the  band  I  had  just  discerned 
the  figure  of  the  officiating  sage  when  a  sudden  revulsion 
of  feeling  made  me  shiver  nervously,  and  clacking  my 
teeth,  I  hastily  fled,  seeking  distraction  by  a  visit  to  the 
Pantheon  nearby. 

This  beautiful  edifice  was  built  on  a  rock  that  jutted 
out  into  the  sea,  not  far  from  the  location  sacred  to 
Hero  and  Leander.  Inside,  it  reminded  me  of  the  Paris 
Pantheon;  but  it  was  filled  with  various  life-size  statues 
of  the  departed,  after  the  manner  of  the  Abbey  of  St. 
Denys.  I  found  dyptichs  to  all  the  great  and  good  of 
the  past.  The  arrangement  of  the  memorials  was  so 
systematized  as  to  mass  together  all  the  literary  men,  the 
scientists,  the  philanthropists,  and  so  forth,  of  all  ages 
and  countries.  The  only  famous  people  I  missed  were 
the  warriors,  who  in  this  day  and  generation  were  con- 
sidered infamous  butchers.  However,  those  men  who 
had  fought  in  the  interest  of  the  establishment  of 
democracy  were  remembered  as  martyrs  of  liberty, 
without  mention  of  their  warlike  proclivities,  of  which 
the  world  was  somewhat  ashamed.  Among  these  1 
found  the  names  of  Washington,  a  man  who  was  wise 
enough  to  resign  after  victory,  without  betraying  the 
cause  which  had  made  him,  as  Napoleon  had  done.  There 
also  I  found  Lincoln,  who  had  emancipated  the  slaves; 
and  I  reflected  how  the  best  things  men  do  often  are 


THE  WORLD  HALL  OF  FAME  313 

only  by-products  of  their  activities.  Besides  the  easily 
recognizable  ancients'  names  I  found  also  many  moderns, 
to  me  unknown;  but  in  whose  majestically  serene 
features  I  could  read  their  achievements. 

Conveniently  placed,  were  seats;  and  through  the 
radiant  stained  glass  windows  filtered  the  sunlight  in 
such  soft  rainbow  hues,  that  I  forgot  myself  until  the 
growing  shadows  suddenly  reminded  me  that  it  was  my 
purpose  to  join  these  great  and  holy  men  this  very 
evening.  So  I  said  farewell ;  and  according  to  my  ancient 
habit  when  I  used  to  visit  museums,  made  a  last  swift 
parting  tour  of  the  echoing  galleries.  I  felt  my  heart 
beat  wildly  as  I  returned  to  the  main  door.  With 
pontifical  solemnity  I  stood  ready  to  offer  up  the  sac- 
rifice. Prayerfully  I  placed  my  hand  on  the  knob,  raised 
my  foot  to  step  out,  when   .... 

The  door  was  locked !  Too  long  had  I  delayed.  Like 
Mrs.  Schliemann,  who  had  been  locked  in  a  tomb  at 
Athens,  I  was  caught.  Evidently  thinking  that  all  the 
visitors  had  issued,  the  keeper  must  have  bolted  the 
door,  and  gone  far  away  to  his  supper  at  his  home  out- 
side the  gates  of  the  city  of  silence.  What  cowards  we 
are!  I  felt  a  wild  relief.  In  spite  of  myself  I  must  wait 
another  twenty-four  hours.  As  with  "Robert  Harding's 
Last  Seven  Days,"  I  had  lost  nothing  by  the  seriousness 
of  my  reflections ;  and  now  I  might  with  good  conscience 
lie  down  to  rest  within  this  hallowed  fane. 

How  long  I  may  have  slept,  I  do  not  know ;  but  when 
I  wakened,  I  felt  myself  in  an  assemblage  of  ghosts. 
The  immense  vault  was  not  dark;  each  statue  seemed 
to  have  been  reanimated,  radiating  a  soft  glow,  especially 
from  the  face,  the  breast,  the  palms  of  the  hands,  and 
the  soles  of  the  feet.  On  the  floor  gleamed  the  planets, 
among  stars  in  well-defined  glistening  constellations, 
while  from  the  dome  glowed  the  forms  of  flying  doves. 
They  seemed  to  be  fluttering  downwards  from  the 
supreme  height,  where,  like  the  Shekinah,  shone  a  cloud 


314      A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

through  which  could  be  guessed  Solomon's  seal.  My 
slightest  motion  re-echoed  from  every  gallery,  disturbing 
faint  plaintive  wails  of  aeolian  harps  at  the  apex  of  the 
dome. 

First,  I  stood  breathless,  thinking  myself  already  in 
the  realm  beyond.  Involuntarily  my  teeth  chattered.  I 
ran  around  in  the  deepest  shadows  I  could  find,  groped 
around  for  the  doors,  and  tried  to  beat  my  way  out. 
Then,  overwrought,  I  sank  to  the  floor  in  merciful  un- 
consciousness. 

When  I  slowly  came  to,  I  found  myself  in  an  operat- 
ing room.  The  pain  in  my  arm  gradually  compelled 
my  wandering  attention ;  and,  as  I  looked  around,  I  saw 
on  an  operating  table  next  to  mine  a  form  covered  with 
white  linen,  from  which  through  a  glass  tube  flowed 
towards  me  the  crimson  tide  that  was  renewing  my 
consciousness  and  vigor.  A  premonition  choked  me;  I 
strained,  so  far  as  the  white  garbed,  semi-masked, 
anxious,  and  whispering  figures  permitted  me,  to  reco- 
gnize its  identity.  A  sudden  chance  motion  then  revealed 
to  me  .  .  .  the  yellow  face  of  my  friend  Acacia!  It 
was  drawn,  as  in  pain ;  he  seemed  languid ;  but  I  caught 
one  ineffably  serene  and  benevolent  flash,  before  he 
fainted.  Swiftly  the  doctors  stopped  the  operation. 
Into  him  they  injected  saline  solutions;  they  brought, 
opened  and  used  cans  of  oxygen;  they  tried  artificial 
respiration ;  in  vain ;  and  the  gentle  nurse  drew  the  sheet 
over  his  face.  "Greater  love  hath  no  man  than  this,  that 
he  lay  down  his  life  for  his  friends."    I  wept  bitterly. 

I  later  understood  that  in  the  morning  my  form  had 
been  discovered  inside  the  Pantheon  doors  by  the  porter. 
I  was  removed ;  and  after  telephonic  communication 
with  the  central  information  bureau,  taken  home,  still 
unconscious.  Though  I  thought  that  Acacia,  as  thor- 
oughly as  I  myself,  had  forgotten  my  conditions  of 
life,  nothing  had  escaped  that  keen  intellect.  On  notic- 
ing my  irregularity  the  evening  before,  followed  by  my 


THE  WORLD  HALL  OF  FAME  315 

letter  in  the  morning,  he  suspected  that  I  was  in  trouble. 
He  must  long  since  have  planned  to  save  me  in  spite  of 
myself;  for  he  immediately  made  the  arrangements 
necessary,  which  were  not  opposed,  perhaps  because  of 
his  high  standing.  At  any  rate,  I  was  kept  unconscious 
until  every  preparation  was  made,  and  then  ...  he 
offered  up  his  life  for  me  with  a  smile  that  remained 
firmly  fixed  on  his  lifeless  features, 

I  remembered  that  the  warning  death-angel  had  sat 
between  our  beds,  and  that  the  visitant  might  have  come 
for  him,  as  well  as  for  me.  Had  I  only  had  the  courage 
to  trust  Acacia's  wisdom,  perhaps  the  urgency  might 
have  been  postponed,  and  turned  to  a  more  tortunate 
issue.  Perhaps  not;  but  so  long  as  I  may  live,  I  shall 
never  cease  to  regret  my  escapade. 

My  evident  sorrow,  and  Acacia's  standing,  procured 
me  the  most  respectful  treatment;  and  his  funeral  was 
postponed  until  I  was  well  enough  to  attend.  Acacia's 
relatives  were  summoned  from  Nankin,  because  his 
extraordinary  achievements  and  the  manner  of  his  death 
secured  for  him  a  sepulture  in  the  Pantheon  among  the 
benefactors  of  humanity.  It  may  easily  be  imagined 
how  I  shrank  from  meeting  his  relatives;  but  they 
greeted  me  with  a  sweet  intimacy,  that  disarmed  me. 

The  religious  funeral  took  place  in  a  small  church; 
and  then  was  held  the  state  funeral.  There  was  absolutely 
no  ostentation,  no  expensive  cars,  no  jingling  harness, 
no  waving  plumes,  inverted  torches,  broken  columns,  or 
veiled  vases ;  not  to  suggest  attendants  in  livery,  or 
dummy  pall-bearers :  what  indecencies !  Many  people 
whom  in  secret  he  had  helped,  consoled  or  comforted, 
even  on  his  inspection  tours  in  the  far  Malay  islands, 
joined  the  serene  procession,  that  started  from  the 
Egyptian  sphinxed  gate-house  about  night- fall,  each 
mourner  bearing  a  lighted  torch  of  immortality.  The 
choir  led,  singing  hymns  of  faith  and  reminiscence  of 
the  saints  gone  before. 


316     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

I  was  so  affected  that  I  forgot  my  fear  at  the  ghastly 
wraiths  I  had  seen;  I  was  too  lost  in  sorrow  for  my 
comrade  and  friend.  When  we  reached  the  door,  how- 
ever, I  was  struck  by  the  extinguishment  of  the  torches, 
which  were  stacked  in  racks  erected  for  that  purpose. 
As  we  entered  I  was  met  by  the  same  vision  of  the 
night  I  had  spent  there ;  and  I  discovered  that  all  the 
statues,  as  well  as  the  stars  under  foot,  and  the  doves 
above,  were  covered  with  a  phosphorescent  preparation. 
This  was  no  doubt  to  typify  that  the  souls  that  rest 
from  their  labors  shine  as  the  stars  in  the  unseen  world. 

The  procession  advanced  to  the  centre  of  the  dome, 
and  there  was  sung  the  farewell  hymn,  between  the 
short  verses  of  which  each  was  privileged  to  utter  his 
or  her  personal  farewell.  After  that  there  was  a  silence 
of  about  ten  minutes,  during  which,  if  he  could  have, 
or  if  he  wished  to  manifest  himself  to  any,  he  had  the 
opportunity;  and  I  at  least  am  convinced  that  I  saw 
his  radiant  face,  shining  in  triumph,  wave  to  me  a 
momentary  private  farewell.  No  doubt  he  wished  me 
to  cease  grieving  at  having  unintentionally  been  the 
means  of  his  passing  on  into  the  Unseen.  At  least  I 
accepted  it  as  such. 

The  procession  then  wound  around  the  side  of  the 
dome  to  the  alcove  of  the  philanthropists,  where  each 
one  of  us  cast  upon  his  statue  acacia  blooms.  Then 
the  leading  sage  read  aloud  Acacia's  last  will  and  testa- 
ment. For  the  most  part,  this  was  an  exhortation  to 
bravery  and  aspiration,  since  in  modern  times  those 
who  die  have  no  money  to  leave,  but  chiefly  mementoes. 
He  stated,  what  very  few  knew,  that  for  a  long  time  his 
heart  had  been  weak;  and  that  even  if  he  had  not  sacri- 
ficed himself  for  me,  his  sojourn  upon  earth  could  not 
have  been  much  prolonged ;  yet,  said  he,  he  felt  it  had 
been  an  honor  to  depart  in  the  sacred  cause  of  friend- 
ship. He  adjured  his  brother  and  friends  to  see  to  it 
that  his  sacrifice  was  not  in  vain,  and  that  I  might  be 


THE  WORLD  HALL  OF  FAME  317 

given  what  freedom  and  means  I  needed  to  continue  my 
wanderings  and  inspection  of  the  modern  world.  Me  he 
besought  to  make  the  best  possible  use  of  what  oppor- 
tunities of  observation  I  had,  or  was  to  enjoy. 

His  supreme  message  then  pleaded  for  a  short  hearing 
of  his  innermost  feelings.  It  seems  that  he  had  always 
most  keenly  suffered  under  the  ill-disguised  scorn  of 
his  more  successful  brother.  Though  he  was  an  official 
inspector,  and  had  made  many  friends  whom  he  sought 
to  influence  by  love  and  reason,  his  great  sorrow  had 
been  that  no  one  seemed  to  profit  by  his  earnest  desire 
to  redeem  and  save.  This  disappointment  he  had 
enshrined  in  the  following  words,  which  he  subjoined. 

I  am  Kassandra;  and  I  bear  this  curse 
That  no  one  shall  my  prophecy  believe; 
And  though  all  Troy  avoid  me  as  perverse. 
Still  must  I  see,  nor  succor,  nor  relieve. 

I   see  the  end  of  Troy:  there,  Priam  falls. 
And  Hecuba,  the  mother  of  her  race; 
There,  Argive  Helen  to  her  captors  calls, 
There,  herded  vvrith  the  slaves,  I  hide  my  face. 

Come  on,  ye  Greeks!  E'en  drag  me  by  the  hair, 
And  make  me  serve  the  bed  of  Grecian  lord; 
Yet,  I  am  content,  nor  ever  will  despair. 
If  but  Apollo  still  be  my  reward. 

So  long  as  I  may  feel  his  sacred  breath 
Inform  my  soul  with  madness  prescient, 
So  I   forewarn  of  coming  chance  of  death, 
And  guide  his  shafts  on  healing  missions  bent; 

So  long*  as  I  may  see  his  shining  face 
Shed    sunlight    round    me   in   the   middle    night. 
And   see   the   lightnings   of   his   youthful   grace, 
And   hear    his    voice,    and   murmuring   lyre   unite! 

He  closed  with  a  paean  of  faith,  satisfied  to  progress 
to  the  more  immediate  presence  of  his  Father  and  his 
God.  The  choir  sang  another  hymn,  during  which  was 
liberated  a  dove  that  escaped  through  one  of  the  open- 


318     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

ings  in  the  dome.  Then,  still  singing  hymns  of  encour- 
agement, we  all  returned  to  the  door,  and  lit  our  torches. 
I  expected  that  we  would  immediately  return  home;  but 
the  choir  once  more  formed  in  a  circle,  and  sang  a  hymn 
which  I  cannot  help  reporting,  so  beautifully  did  it 
express  the  only  source  of  consolation  we  human  beings 
can  find  for  the  loss  of  an  earthly  friend,  namely,  the 
presence  of  the  heavenly. 

Dear   Heavenly   Friend,   whom  angel   hosts   adore, 
Come,    dwell   with   me,    nor    leave   me    evermore. 

I    have   made   room   for   Thee,    dear   heavenly    Friend, 
Within  the  silence  of  my  sanctuary, 
Where  Thou  mayest  come,  and  oft  Thyself  unbend, 
And  I  may  always  find  divinity. 

Come  Thou   not   only  when  with  tears   I   pray, 
With  Thy  most  holy  touch  to  comfort  me; 
Stand  near  when  earthly  duties  interfere, 
That  while  I  labor,  I  may  gaze  at  Thee. 

When  I  go  out,  be  Thou  companion  mine. 
In   every   conversation   take   Thou    part, 
Deign  Thou   to  sit  with  me,  and  with  me  dine, 
And  when    I  write,   inspire  with   heavenly  art! 

I  would  be  alway  what  I  am  sometimes 
When  Thou  art  near  me,  and  I  taste  Thy  grace; 
So  stay  near  me  through  all  my  earthly  times, 
That  I  may  steadfastly  behold  Thy  face! 

Dear  heavenly  Friend,  whom  angel  hosts  adore, 
Come,  dwell  with  me,  nor  leave  me  evermore! 

Then  we  passed  back  to  the  gate,  and  returned  home 
in  special  cars. 

Of  course,  such  a  funeral  was  accorded  only  to  those 
who  had  been  decreed  that  honor  by  the  President.  With 
others  the  ceremony  was  simpler,  including,  however, 
the  planting  of  the  respective  flower  or  tree  where  the 
ashes  were  strewn,  and  a  night's  watch  by  the  sacred 
spot  to  allow  him  who  had  passed  on  an  opportunity  of 
saying  farewell. 


THE  WORLD  HALL  OF  FAME  319 

As  may  well  be  imagined,  I  did  not  care  to  stay  in 
Concordia.  I  made  all  the  necessary  arrangements,  pro- 
cured myself  food,  identification  cards,  a  new  motor 
carriage  boat  plane,  and  change  of  clothing.  I  went 
around  to  say  farewell  to  all  who  had  been  specially 
kind  to  me;  once  more  visited  Acacia's  grave,  planted 
a  tree  in  his  honor,  and  with  tears  in  my  eyes  got  aboard 
the  Bosphorus  tunnel  train.  I  had  determined  hence- 
forth not  to  tell  my  pitiable  story  to  any  one,  and  to 
lie  down  in  an  unmarked  grave  when  once  more  the 
angel  of  death  should  come  to  fetch  me. 

At  the  last  moment,  however,  I  received  a  surprise. 
I  was  summoned  to  the  college  of  sages,  and  initiated 
as  an  apprentice;  which  gave  me  the  right  to  wear  the 
sages'  robe,  and  thus  gain  admittance  to  many  a  home 
and  heart  that  would  otherwise  remain  closed  to  me. 
I  was  deeply  grateful  for  this  thoughtfulness,  and  left 
that  sanctuary  only  with  a  heavy  heart,  being  refused 
permission  to  stay,  on  the  grounds  that  the  object  of 
being  a  sage  was  not  a  selfish  one,  but  to  act  as  an 
itinerant  redeemer,  or  helper;  besides,  apprentice  sages 
could  be  promoted  only  after  a  pilgrimage  around  the 
world.  So  I  left,  with  tears,  feeling  within  myself  I 
should  never  see  those  Good  Ones  again. 

As  I  was  proceeding  to  the  station,  a  girl  and  boy 
offered  me  some  flowers  they  were  carrying,  wishing 
me  an  auspicious  journey.  In  the  modern  world  that  is 
one  of  the  most  appreciated  forms  of  charity. 


LAST  EPISODE 
DESTINIES  OF  EUROPE  AND  NEW  YORK 


CHAPTER  XXX 
EUROPE  GEOGRAPHIZED 

Being  solitary,  after  a  year  of  the  purest  friendship 
possible  to  man,  my  trip  to  Europe  was  indeed  dismal. 
Besides,  there  was  no  prospect  of  any  other  friendship; 
neither  did  I  want  any.  For  the  last  two  years,  friend- 
ship to  me  had  spelt  disaster  to  others;  and  I  decided 
that  that  should  never  happen  again.  Henceforward  I 
would  try  to  help  others,  only  in  a  more  discreet,  im- 
personal manner.  As  a  sage,  I  would  be  admitted  to 
confidences  for  the  understood  purpose  of  helping  others; 
and  I  myself  would  not  be  supposed  to  stand  in  need 
of  any  aid.  Like  a  discarnate  spirit  that  had  graduated 
I  would  therefore  prolong  the  helpful  inspecting  career 
carried  on  by  my  comrade  Acacia.  Indeed,  I  had  been 
given  a  sort  of  roaming  commission,  a  kind  of  secret 
service,  on  which  I  might  report  to  headquarters  any 
possible  improvement. 

This  commission  supplied  the  motive  which  directed 

my  steps  in  every  corner  of  Europe.    Mostly,  I  traveled 

on   foot,   to  enjoy  the  views;  always  returning  to  my 

320 


EUROPE  GEOGRAPHIZED  321 

tricycle,  which  I  left  on  the  road,  or  at  some  rest-house. 
The  real  joke  was,  —  and  perhaps  that  might  have  been 
one  of  the  purposes  of  the  Concordia  authorities,  —  that 
I  myself  learned  more  than  I  taught.  Very  little  did  I 
report.  That  of  which  I  disapproved  I  tried  to  correct 
on  the  spot  by  friendly  intercourse.  This  led  me  to  see 
the  divine  significance  of  friendship.  It  is  a  sort  of 
education,  and  its  real  meaning  is  a  divine  admonition. 

The  chief  difference  between  the  Europe  of  my  day 
and  its  modern  form  was  geographization.  This  had 
been  begun  in  France  at  the  time  of  the  Revolution. 
The  leaders  saw  that  there  was  no  hope  of  uprooting 
royalty  and  aristocracy  without  cutting  away  the  local 
associations  that  underlay  the  feudal  system,  and  the 
divine  right  of  kings.  Consequently  the  counties  were 
named  after  the  rivers  that  watered  the  territory.  This 
furnished  a  fair  and  impersonal  basis  for  representation. 
Of  course  this  should  have  been  extended  to  the  whole 
of  Europe;  and  it  later  was. 

I  have  already  stated  that  this  process  was  extended 
to  whole  watersheds,  which  then  became  independent 
states.  Simple  as  seems  so  logical  an  idea,  its  non- 
observance  in  my  days  led  to  all  sorts  of  bitterness  and 
heart-burnings.  For  instance,  just  before  the  world-war, 
Greece  was  given  the  southern  coast  of  Macedonia, 
which  meant  the  lower  courses  of  the  Vardar,  the? 
Tachyno,  the  Kurusu,  and  the  Maritsa;  while  Bulgaria 
had  to  be  satisfied  with  the  upper  reaches  of  these 
streams.  The  result  was  continual  heart-burnings,  with 
serious  interference  to  the  country :  by  damming  the 
lower  reaches,  the  upper  country  could  be  flooded,  while 
the  river  naturally  carried  off  the  wealth  of  the  upper 
fields  to  enrich  the  lower.  Such  a  state  of  affairs  was 
unspeakable,  and  had  to  cease  before  the  establishment 
of  peaceful  democracy. 

What  had  become  of  the  Turks?  During  the  world- 
war  for  democracy  they  had  had  the  true  irjstinct  of 


Z22     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

where  lay  their  associates  in  organized  assassination.  On 
their  discomfiture,  the  Turks  were  compelled  to  re- 
emigrate  back  to  the  Tartar  steppes  whence  had  issued 
the  original  Seljukians.  Those  who  elected  to  stay  were 
absorbed  into  the  former  subject  populations,  and  their 
doctrine  of  resignation  aided  them  to  bow  to  the  in- 
evitable. Education  and  matrimony  were  the  two  hardest 
points  for  them  to  accept,  although  the  feminist  move- 
ment had  already  found  lodgment  among  them.  Among 
them  there  were  many  lapses  from  grace;  and  for  many 
years  the  international  police  gathered  near  Concordia, 
were  kept  fit  by  the  sleepless  watch  necessary  wherever 
resided  a  Turk,  or  even  his  descendants.  They  had  never 
appreciated  the  real  meaning  of  Islam  until  they  them- 
selves had  begun  to  feel  the  bitterness  of  subjection. 
Then  they  immediately  tried  to  evade  it;  but  they  could 
not  entirely  escape  it,  so  indelibly  was  it  engraven  in 
the  very  fibre  and  structure  of  their  language.  Having 
been  already  for  a  century  familiar  with  the  French  in 
the  Levant,  the  international  language  was  easy  to  them. 
Their  degree  of  initiation  was  that  of  the  Kaaba,  and 
it  was  celebrated  in  Mecca,  so  that  the  Hedjaz  pilgrim- 
age was  more  numerous  than  ever;  and  being  made  by 
railroad,  it  was  neither  dangerous,  nor  difficult,  nor 
liable  to  open  the  door  to  questionable  romances.  One 
of  the  chief  achievements  of  the  international  health 
service  had  been  to  free  that  pilgrimage  from  all  con- 
tagious diseases.  The  Turks  had  of  course  been  com- 
pelled to  evacuate  Asia  Minor,  so  as  to  make  room  for 
better  influences  around  the  world-capital.  This  evacua- 
tion was  not  compulsory,  but  voluntary,  for  they  had 
rather  leave  than  allow  others  reasonable  liberty. 

As  to  the  Balkan  problem,  the  internationalization  and 
eradication  of  all  names  except  those  taken  from  the 
water-shed  was  the  only  even  hopeful  solution.  The 
Turkish  rule  had  inflamed  tribe  against  tribe,  and 
religion  against  religion.     The  mutual  treasons  of  the 


EUROPE  GEOGRAPHIZED  323 

Bulgarians,  Roumanians  and  Serbians,  not  to  mention 
the  Greeks,  had  been  such  that  there  had  arisen  con- 
fusion inextricable.  Each  nation  had  exterminated  some 
of  the  other  nations  in  some  district;  and  such  a  policy 
could  find  peace  only  by  the  massacre  of  everybody  else. 
Now  that  the  population  was  welcome  to  live  wherever 
it  pleased,  the  political  divisions  were  not  racial,  but 
geographical.  The  Tempe,  the  Wistritza,  the  Vardar, 
the  Tachyno,  the  Kurusu,  and  the  Maritza  each  formed 
its  own  eastern  province,  while  on  the  west  the  land 
was  divided  up  into  the  provinces  of  the  Was,  the  Drin, 
and  the  Marenta.  Above,  of  course,  was  the  lower 
Danube,  whose  alluvial  plain,  up  to  the  Transylvanian 
mountains,  formed  one  state,  uniting  Bulgarians  and 
Wallachians.  Serbia  became  the  land  of  the  Morawa, 
while  the  watershed  of  the  Save  united  Bosnia,  Croatia 
and  Slavonia.  The  Sereth  gave  reason  for  a  modern 
Moldavia.  Greece  remained  as  it  used  to  be  after  1848, 
forming  the  land  of  mountain  cross-paths,  rocky  shores, 
and  islands. 

This  geographic  arrangement  facilitated  all  engineer- 
ing problems  of  transportation,  which  underlie  even  the 
problems  of  language.  The  religion  of  this  group 
remained  so  involved  and  confused,  that  it  emphasized 
the  advisability  of  the  simpler  religion  of  democracy. 
The  local  mysteries  were  the  Eleusynian,  neoplatonized 
in  the  sense  of  Numenius,  Plotinos,  and  Jamblichus. 

Russia,  as  such,  had  ceased  to  exist  during  the  world- 
war.  It  was  later  divided  into  southern,  central,  northern 
and  western  states.  Some  of  these  were  of  course  larger 
than  others;  but  with  the  international  government  to 
act  as  arbiter,  there  were  manifest  compensations  in  the 
small  states,  in  which  flourished  higher  civilization,  and 
where  it  was  easier  to  achieve  positions  of  influence. 
It  was  the  problem  of  the  small  college  over  again;  so 
that  the  smaller  states  were  sought  after  more  earnestly 
than  the  larger  ones.    As  a  matter  of  fact,  even  in  my 


324     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

days  democracy  had  been  a  success  in  small  states  like 
Switzerland  or  New  Zealand;  and  the  problem  was  not 
to  create  democracy,  but  to  adapt  it  to  large  ones.  It 
was  in  supervision  that  democracy  was  weak;  and  the 
great  achievement  of  modern  times  was  not  the  local 
government,  but  the  central.  Indeed,  democracy  is 
neither  possible  nor  suitable  except  in  local  isolated 
places,  or  in  world-wide  dominion;  it  cannot  survive  in 
rivalry  with  autocracies.  President  Wilson  uttered 
world-historical  words  when  he  spoke  of  the  world 
being  made  safe  for  democracy. 

In  the  Russian  south  was  Dniester-land,  capital 
Odessa,  uniting  Podolia,  Galicia,  and  Bessarabia.  Next, 
Dnieper-land,  capital  Cherson,  uniting  Volhynia,  Little 
Russia,  and  the  Ukraine.  Don-land,  capital  Tcherkask, 
uniting  to  its  watershed  Turia  and  Kuban.  The  lower 
Volga-land  had  as  capital  Astrakhan,  uniting  the  Kal- 
muks  and  Kergheses,  with  its  watershed.  Ural-land, 
capital  Gurjew,  united  the  Cossacks  and  the  eastern 
Kerghese.  The  central  state  was  that  of  the  Upper 
Volga,  with  capital  Nijni  Novgorod  (as  Moscow  had 
deteriorated,  and  was  avoided  as  the  depository  of  many 
historical  associations,  which  were  now,  so  far  as  pos- 
sible, ignored).  To  the  north  was  Petschar-land,  capital 
Pustosrok,  uniting  Samoyedes,  Wogulians  and  Tundri- 
ans.  Dwina-land,  capital  Archangel,  was  the  richest 
northern  state.  Wanga-land,  next,  was  governed  from 
Onega,  and  united  the  Olonezians,  and  eastern  Finns. 
The  most  northern  land  was  that  of  the  Tulom,  capital 
Kola,  which  included  Murmans  and  Lapps.  To  the 
west  were  the  Finns,  or  lake  people,  capital  Helsingfors. 
To  the  south  was  Duna-land,  capital  Riga,  combining 
Esthonia,  Livonia,  Courland,  with  its  head-waters. 
Niemen-land,  capital  Tilsit,  combined  the  Lithuanians, 
Tauroggians  and  eastern  Poles.  Weichsel-land  combined 
the  Prussians,  capital  Dantzig,  with  the  western  Poles. 
Thus    was    the    Polish    question    settled    automatically, 


EUROPE  GEOGRAPHIZED  325 

whereas  it  could  have  found  no  other  solution,  so  great 
had  been  the  confusion  of  successive  partitions. 

Under  these  new  conditions  Russia  formed  one  of  the 
most  peaceful  states  of  Europe,  for  the  reason  that  its 
simple-minded  Tolstoyan  peasants  had  ever  dreamed  of 
a  kingdom  of  peace  upon  earth,  this  in  fact  being  the 
reason  for  their  good-natured  submission  to  Germany 
during  the  war.  Of  course,  this  submission  would  have 
been  the  very  last  means  of  gaining  it;  but  Lincolnia's 
stepping  into  the  breach  saved  the  day  for  Russia,  which 
indeed  hardly  deserved  this  salvation,  so  unreliable  had 
it  shown  itself,  .  .  .  who  anyway  does  deserve  theirs? 
—  But  the  betrayal  of  the  socialists  was  the  most  odious 
here,  and  remained  so  for  all  time;  so  that  in  Russia 
this  name  of  "socialist"  remains  a  term  of  opprobrium, 
which  is  still  resented.  The  religion  of  these  lands  was 
based  on  the  Greek  Catholic  church,  and  its  mysteries 
were  those  of  the  Kalevala. 

Germany  too  had  been  geographized.  Oder-land, 
capital  Stettin,  united  Pomerania,  Brandenburg,  Posen 
and  Silesia.  Berlin  had  been  purposely  set  aside,  because 
of  the  hate  it  had  incurred  all  over  the  civilized  world. 
Elbe-land,  capital  Hamburg,  united  Mecklenburg,  Saxony 
and  Bohemia.  Weser-land,  capital  Bremen,  united 
Oldenburg,  Hanover,  West f alia,  and  Hessia.  Rhine- 
land,  the  lower,  capital  Amsterdam,  united  Holland, 
the  Rhine  provinces,  and  Nassau.  Upper  Rhine-land, 
capital  Mayence,  united  the  Pfalz,  Alsace  Lorraine, 
Baden  and  Switzerland.  Upper  Danube-land,  capital 
Budapest  (Vienna  again  being  set  aside),  included 
Wurttemburg,  Swabia,  Bavaria,  Austria  proper,  Salz- 
burg, Styria  and  Maehren, 

This  standardization  of  Germany  put  an  end  to  militar- 
ism based  on  traditions ;  it  separated  Germany  into  four 
states  with  differing  interests,  and  internationalized  the 
eastern  ones,  also  uniting  to  Denmark  its  southern 
geographic  part,   Schleswig-Holstein.     The  religion  of 


326     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

Germany  was  reformed  to  north  and  east,  and  catholic 
(not  Roman),  to  south  and  west.  The  local  mysteries 
were  founded  on  the  Niebelungenlied. 

France  had  already  been  divided  into  departments 
according  to  rivers,  but  it  had  recently  been  divided 
into  states,  according  to  the  chief  watersheds.  Meuse- 
land  took  in  Belgium,  Artois,  Picardie,  and  Champagne, 
capital  Antwerp.  Seine-land,  capital  Rouen,  included 
Normandy,  Ile-de-France,  Champagne  and  Burgundy. 
Loire-land,  capital  Nantes,  took  in  Brittany,  Poitou, 
Touraine,  Berry,  the  Nivernais,  the  Limousin  and  Au- 
vergne.  Garonne-land,  capital  Bordeaux,  took  in  the 
Aunes,  the  Angoumois,  Guienne,  the  Languedoc,  and 
Gascony.  Rhone-land,  capital  Marseilles  (thanks  to  the 
canal,  or  it  would  have  been  side-tracked),  took  in 
eastern  Languedoc,  the  Vivarais,  Provence,  Dauphine, 
Savoy,  Burgundy,  the  Franche-Comte,  and  French 
Switzerland. 

Its  religion  was  chiefly  molded  by  the  Masons,  who 
developed  wonderfully  after  the  war,  as  the  whole  of 
the  republican  form  of  government  was  put  on  their 
shoulders,  when  the  royalist  cause  was  lost  in  the  new 
regime.    They  created  the  local  degree  of  Jeanne  d'Arc. 

Spain  and  Portugal  were  united  in  Iberiolusitania. 
Tagus-land,  capital  Lisbon,  took  in  Estremadura,  and 
western  Spanish  Estramadura  and  New  Castile.  Douro- 
land,  capital  Oporto,  took  in  Leon  and  old  Castile. 
Minho-land,  capital  Valencia,  included  Galicia  and 
Asturia.  Ebro-land,  capital  Tortosa,  not  Barcelona, 
took  in  Navarre,  Aragon,  Catalonia,  and  Valencia. 
Guadalquivir-land,  capital  Cadiz,  took  in  Andalusia; 
while  Guadiana-land,  capital  Huelma,  took  in  Alem, 
Tejo,  Algarve,  southern  Estremadura,  and  New  Castile. 

This  geographized  Iberiolusitania  was  a  comparatively 
poor  land,  inasmuch  as  the  afforestation  was  very  sparse, 
at  the  time  of  the  world-war,  as  a  consequence  of  the 
insane  self-satisfaction  inherited  from  the  world-domin- 


EUROPE  GEOGRAPHIZED  327 

ion  of  Ferdinand  and  Isabella.  Even  as  late  as  the 
world-war  the  country  was  divided  between  Sancho 
Panzas  and  Don  Quixotes,  and  difficult  was  the  fusion 
of  these  into  one  unified  social  state.  It  was,  however, 
later  accomplished  by  the  extension  of  unification,  into 
universal,  free  and  compulsory  forms.  Its  mysteries 
were  those  of  the  Cid  Campeador. 

Italy  too  had  been  geographized.  Adige-land  had  as 
capital  Venice,  with  the  Trentino.  The  land  of  the  Po 
included  Piemont,  Lombardy  and  Emilia.  Arno-land, 
capital  Livorno,  took  in  Tuscany,  Siena  and  Pisa.  Tiber- 
land,  capital  Ostia,  neglecting  Rome,  of  tyrannous 
memory,  to  erase  that  fatal  name  from  the  annals  of 
humanity,  for  it  was  the  cock-pit  of  kingdom  and  church, 
continuing  that  fight  in  modified  shape  for  two  milleni- 
ums.  Volturno-land,  capital  Naples,  took  in  all  of  South 
Italy ;  while  Brindisi  was  the  capital  of  the  whole  western 
Apennine  watershed. 

In  Italy,  because  of  the  preparatory  work  of  Cavour 
and  Mazzini,  the  population  had  become  satisfactorily 
fused ;  but  the  temporal  power's  controversies  echoed  for 
a  century  or  more,  forcing  the  Italians  to  find  unity  in 
a  national  mystery  of  Aeneas,  the  site  of  which  was 
the  Styx,  near  Naples. 

England  also  had  been  geographized  according  to  the 
same  principles,  with  the  exception  that  the  capital  of 
Thames-land  was  Gravesend  and  not  London,  to  efface 
a  name  too  indelibly  associated  with  ancient  historic 
feuds.  This  had  been  foreseen  by  Macauley,  who  had 
pictured  a  New  Zealander  gazing  on  its  ruins.  During 
the  war  the  Germans  had  tried  to  fulfil  that  prophecy; 
and  the  Anzac  soldiers  might  easily  have  eventuated  that 
prevision;  but  it  was  not  so  to  be.  Political  decay  was 
more  potent  than  aeroplane  bombs.  Its  end  was  a  great 
element  in  the  pacification  of  the  British  isles;  and  at 
the  same  time  England,  Wales,  Scotland  and  Ireland 
as  political  entities  were  all  wiped  out.   Thus  were  ended 


328     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

the  senseless  Irish  animosities.  All  old  county  names 
had  been  disused.  On  a  strict  geographical  basis,  and 
on  the  autonomy  of  each  watershed,  all  injustices  dis- 
appeared. No  longer  did  the  industrious  Orangeman 
fear  to  be  absorbed  by  a  numerical  shiftless  majority 
that  would  live  off  the  taxes  he  paid.  The  absentee  land- 
lord system  was  automatically  ended ;  but,  on  the  other 
hand,  when  the  shiftless  tenants  understood  that  they' 
must  either  work  or  starve,  many  of  them  did  starve, 
for  they  were  more  averse  to  thrift,  than  to  starvation. 
Emigration  did  them  no  good,  for  wherever  in  the  world 
they  went,  they  had  to  work,  and  they  lacked  the  con- 
venient excuse  of  British  landlord  oppression.  Except 
for  the  north,  Ireland  remained  the  poorest  land  in 
Europe,  the  most  reactionary,  and  the  least  cultured. 
At  the  same  time  the  equalization  of  salaries  gave  oppor- 
tunity to  the  development  to  some  of  the  wittiest  writers 
in  the  world. 

This  geographization  of  Europe  insured  a  peaceful 
future  to  a  continent  which  for  milleniums  had  been 
racked  by  the  quarrelsomeness  and  ferocity  of  the  white 
race.  Even  so,  Europe  was  far  behind  Asia  in  produc- 
tiveness and  culture,  for  these  ancient  pugnacious  traits 
were  not  yet  eradicated,  and  from  time  to  time  some 
smouldering  feud  in  the  Balkans  or  in  Ireland  would 
arouse  a  flurry  whose  dangers  caused  the  wisest  to 
tremble.  Because  of  these  lingering  animosities  local 
history  was  a  forbidden  study.  Pupils  were  taught  the 
general  migration  of  races,  but  there  was  an  interdict 
on  all  historical  researches  between  the  fall  of  the  Roman 
empire,  and  the  world-war  for  democracy.  On  this 
account  the  international  language  was  here  enforced 
more  thoroughly  than  elsewhere,  and  all  provincial 
costumes  were  strictly  prohibited,  on  pain  of  accusation 
of  treason,  as  with  the  Highland  costumes  during  the 
eighteenth  century. 

Europe  itself  was  one  of  the  poorest  of  the  continents, 


EUROPE  GEOGRAPHIZED  329 

and  that  for  the  same  reason  that  Spain's  American 
possessions  had  ruined  the  mother-country.  Nowadays 
all  the  "colonies"  had  broken  loose  from  Europe's  lead- 
ing-strings. They  possessed  virgin  resources,  which  were 
manufactured  and  consumed  on  the  spot.  Population 
naturally  drifted  to  more  favored  countries,  and  every 
country  had  to  stand  on  its  own  bottom.  England,  for 
instance,  had  a  distressful  climate;  and  after  the  disuse 
of  coal  had  but  little  water-power,  and  less  than  medium 
wind-power.  With  the  erasing  of  all  the  old  cultural 
associations  nothing  was  left  but  a  pasturing  country, 
of  worn  out  fields,  barely  producing  enough  to  feed  a 
decaying  population.  The  more  intelligent  had  therefore 
emigrated,  leaving  only  the  slow  of  intellect  who  could 
not  even  conceive  the  idea  of  living  in  a  more  comfort- 
able climate.  Their  traditional  obtuseness  had  made 
progressive  organization  difficult,  and  the  central  govern- 
ment had  been  compelled  to  send  more  social  mission- 
aries to  the  Thames  and  to  Ireland  than  almost  any- 
where else.  There  still  existed  Little  Englanders.  They 
could  neither  be  made  to  understand  internationalism, 
nor  to  exert  themselves  for  their  own  country.  In  my 
days,  there  were  workers  in  munition  factories  who, 
while  the  Huns  were  thundering  at  the  gates  of  Calais, 
struck  for  a  couple  of  pence  more,  and  could  not  be 
induced  to  turn  out  munitions  until  taken  to  the  front 
in  automobiles,  so  as  themselves  to  suffer  from  the 
enemy's  explosive  shells  before  they  could  be  made  to 
understand  the  need  of  defending  themselves.  With 
such  dulness  even  divinities  fight  in  vain,  as  Goethe  said ; 
and  this  was  democracy's  weakest  spot,  that  according 
to  the  principle  of  autonomy  the  stupid  claimed  a  right 
to  blunder.  Here,  however,  was  the  special  function  of 
democracy's  new  form  of  missionary  Christianity,  that 
the  shepherd  must  go  and  seek  the  lost,  even  if  he  died 
in  the  attempt.  Therefore  Great  Britain,  although 
visited  by  many  missionaries,  was  slowly  falling  behind 


330     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

in  the  progress  of  the  world,  and  far-seeing  thinkers 
could  visualize  the  time  when  it  would  have  sunk  to  the 
condition  of  Iceland  or  Greenland,  except  that  it  sup- 
ported more  flocks  and  herds.  What  gave  it  hope, 
however,  was  that  the  through  express  train  from  Con- 
cordia reached  it  via  the  Calais  tunnel,  thus  continually 
injecting  into  it  cultural  progress. 

In  spite  of  the  worn  out  condition  of  the  fields  of 
France,  the  glorious  climate  of  its  greater  part  attracted 
a  great  population,  and  produced  much  wealth.  Spain 
was  progressive  enough,  but  the  problem  of  afforestation 
and  industry  was  a  heavy  handicap.  Italy  fared  best 
of  all,  with  good  climate,  a  tended  land,  and  an  industri- 
ous population.  The  German  countries  were  ruined  by 
the  war-debts  which  they  had  contracted  on  the  expecta- 
tion of  making  other  people  pay  for  them,  and  which 
ultimately  they  themselves  had  been  compelled  to  foot. 
Belgium  had  never  recovered  from  her  violation,  because 
the  populations  had  been  slaughtered,  transported,  and 
enslaved.  The  Balkans  had  been  too  restless  to  make 
any  progress.  Denmark,  Sweden  and  Norway  were  in 
too  cold  a  climate  to  prosper,  for  the  more  intelligent 
of  the  population  had  emigrated.  So,  on  the  whole, 
except  for  France,  Italy,  and  what  was  Austria,  and 
the  Danube  valley,  Europe  had  done  very  poorly,  in 
contrast  with  all  the  newer  continents.  The  name 
"European,"  nowadays,  was  more  a  term  of  reproach, 
than  anything  else.  The  old  historical  associations  were 
under  the  ban  of  progressive  opinion,  and  the  quarrel- 
someness of  the  European  nations,  especially  Germany, 
Austria,  Bulgaria  and  Turkey  was  such  an  offense  to 
the  conscience  of  foreigners  that  even  after  a  century 
those  people  were  inclined  to  stay  at  home,  where  they 
got  on  like  cats  and  dogs;  although  after  the  establish- 
ment of  democracy  the  German  kindly  "gemiithlichkeit" 
became  the  seed  of  the  regeneration  of  that  country. 

What   finally   drove   me   out    from   Europe   was   the 


EUROPE  GEOGRAPHIZED  331 

modern  opposition  to  the  raking  up  of  old  sores,  — 
that  is,  to  historic  traditions  and  racial  interests.  Of 
course  what  I  did  was  not  due  to  malice  prepense,  but 
to  a  failure  thoroughly  enough  to  realize  the  modern 
view-point.  As  might  be  expected,  when  I  was  walking 
through  Europe,  I  was  moving  among  enchanted  fields, 
—  Rome,  Berlin,  Paris,  London,  and  their  ancient 
glories.  All  of  them  had  been  scientifically  razed,  though 
for  a  purpose  better  than  that  of  the  Germans  at  Louvain 
or  Rheims. 

What  most  saddened  me,  was  the  degeneracy  of  the 
British,  whose  conscientiousness,  practical  liberality  and 
seriousness  I  had  always  admired  above  the  qualities  of 
all  other  nations,  except  my  own  natal  Lincolnia.  The 
smug  self-satisfaction  of  these  British  herdsmen  cut  me 
to  the  heart;  and  I  conceived  it  to  be  part  of  my  com- 
missioner's duty  to  join  in  the  labors  of  the  government's 
social  missionaries.  Only,  instead  of  adopting  their 
methods  of  merely  improving  the  there  existing  methods, 
I  thought  they  might  be  inspired  by  a  recital  of  the 
departed  glories  of  their  land :  London,  Westminster 
Abbey,  Windsor,  the  empire's  navy,  the  world-wide 
British  empire,  Trafalgar,  Waterloo,  South  Africa,  and 
Egypt,  and  so  forth. 

I  was  succeeding  finely,  and  had  gotten  to  the  point 
where  a  few  friends  were  taken  to  visit  the  ruins  of 
London,  reconstructing  its  glories  to  the  best  of  my 
abilities,  when,  late  at  night,  I  was  called  to  attend  a 
meeting  of  the  supreme  business  committee  at  Graves- 
end,  where  I  was  informed  that  my  activities  were 
against  public  policy.  When  I  showed  my  roving  com- 
mission, they  countered  by  exhibiting  to  me  a  signed 
decree  of  expulsion.  I  was  then  kept  incommunicado 
until  my  slender  effects  had  been  fetched;  and  at  ten 
o'clock  at  night  I  was  put  aboard  the  "owl"  American 
air-ship,  which  duly,  about  six  o'clock  the  next  morning, 
landed  me  on  my  beloved  Lincolnia. 


CHAPTER  XXXI 
NEW  YORK  OF  THE  FUTURE 

The  passengers  were  kept  on  board  until  the  plane 
arrived  at  the  large  aviation  station  at  Belmont  Park, 
on  Long  Island.  Here  my  first  interest  was  aroused 
by  the  other  night-planes  that  had  arrived.  There  was 
one  from  San  Francisco,  one  from  Buenos  Aires,  and 
Rio,  via  Mexico;  and  another  one  from  Uganda,  the 
capital  of  Africa,  via  Liberia.  These  planes  were  tuned 
up  and  reloaded  during  the  day,  and  returned  the  same 
night.  There  were  of  course  day-planes  over  the  same 
route,  and  many  passengers  preferred  to  enjoy  the 
scenery;  but  for  rapid  business  the  owl  planes  were  the 
most  popular.  They  had  been  made  possible  by  the  use 
of  compasses,  which  in  my  earlier  days  the  aviators 
apparently  had  never  thought  of  taking  with  them,  any 
more  than  parachutes,  which  were  not  used  till  four  or 
five  years  after  aviation  started,  so  long  does  it  take 
for  simple  ideas  to  percolate  through  the  intellect  of 
apparently  intelligent  human  beings.  They  also  had  an 
aerial  log,  which  told  the  aviator  just  how  far  he  had 
traveled,  and  in  what  directions. 

Having  had  no  modern  contact  with  Africa,  I  sought 
a  chat  with  one  of  the  operators  at  the  xA.frican  hangar. 
He  informed  me  that  Africa  also  had  been  geograph- 
ically standardized,  with  river-states  on  the  Nile,  Zam- 
bezi,   Orange,    Congo    and    Niger;    coastal    states    in 

Morocco  and  Somali,  and  an  island  state  of  Sahara,  the 

332 


NEW  YORK  OF  THE  FUTURE  333 

most  fertile  of  all,  now  that  wells  had  been  dug  every- 
where, and  their  drainings  gathered  in  a  central  sea, 
which  moderated  the  aridity  of  the  climate. 

That  particular  morning  the  African  owl-plane  was 
a  little  late,  so  that  I  had  the  chance  to  observe  what 
sort  of  passengers  would  alight  from  that  district.  I 
was  gazing  on  them  with  the  detachment  of  sight-seers, 
when  happened  the  incredible,  which  in  modern  times 
indeed  occurred  oftener  than  ever,  because  of  the  better 
communications.  As  a  lady  passed  by,  she  chanced  to 
look  around.  She  uttered  a  cry,  and  blanched.  My 
attention  was  riveted  on  her  features,  in  which  I  reco- 
gnized my  double  saviour,  Orchid. 

Both  of  us  had  changed.  I  myself,  of  course,  had 
aged;  my  emotional  tragedies  had  left  me  haggard,  my 
snow-white  hair  completed  an  unforgettable  picture. 
Besides,  I  was  wearing  the  robe  of  the  sages,  which  of 
course  she  would  not  have  expected.  Orchid,  too,  was 
no  longer  the  happy  girl  that  I  had  first  known.  Her 
life  with  Dr.  Policiver  had  been  so  painful  that  when, 
just  recently,  he  had  died  of  disappointment,  —  although 
he  had  achieved  a  world-wide  reputation  as  the  dis- 
coverer of  means  of  combating  the  African  sleeping- 
sickness,  she  had  experienced  the  greatest  relief.  She 
was  wearing  the  legally  required  mourning,  which 
softened  the  wrinkles  of  pain  and  anxiety  on  her 
formerly  sunny  countenance.  As  she  was  emotionally 
overcome  at  this  unlooked-for  meeting,  I  offered  to  see 
her  to  her  lodgings,  an  offer  which  she  gladly  accepted. 

In  modern  times,  the  hotels  had  of  course  been 
municipalized.  In  my  day  there  had  arisen  Y.  M.  C.  A. 
and  Mills  hotels,  not  run  for  profit,  but  for  accommoda- 
tion. Later  the  municipality  had  discovered  in  it  one 
of  its  most  lucrative  and  socially  useful  public  functions. 
One  could  be  found  in  every  ward,  so  as  to  distribute  the 
floating  population  as  well  as  possible.  Roof-gardens 
on   these   sky-scrapers  were   of   course   the   pleasantest 


334     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

places;  and  as  we  were  both  travel-weary,  we  were 
delighted  to  sit  down  where  we  could  get  a  good  view 
of  New  York,  and  at  leisure  relate  to  each  other  our 
experiences  since  we  parted  under  such  a  stress  of 
emotions.  As  reminiscence  brought  back  to  me  our 
painful  separation  in  southern  California,  my  first  good- 
natured  feelings  toward  her  cooled  off  considerably; 
but  her  misfortunes  and  evident  sufferings,  together 
with  her  recent  bereavement,  disarmed  me.  I  recalled 
she  had  been  more  sinned  against  than  sinning;  and 
that,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  I  twice  owed  her  my  life. 

After  their  disgrace  in  California,  the  Policiver  pair 
had  first  gone  to  Liberia,  and  thence  to  Uganda,  where 
the  doctor  practiced  as  a  specialist  in  the  sleeping-sick- 
ness from  which  he  had  rescued  me.  Like  many  people 
who  have  lost  their  position  or  interests,  he  sickened 
and  died,  so  much  was  this  quest  for  the  fortune 
incarnated  in  his  nature  since  childhood.  She,  however, 
having  no  rooted  interests  in  Africa,  had  felt  herself 
home-sick  for  California.  So  she  returned,  as  she 
thought,  to  her  home;  but  as  Providence  arranged  it, 
to  meet  me.  I  also  thought  I  had  been  expelled  from 
England;  when  Providence,  on  the  contrary,  wanted  to 
relieve  my  loneliness  by  giving  me  back  an  old  friend. 
So  little  do  most  of  us  recognize  the  disguises  of 
Providence's  promotions ! 

As  to  me,  touched  by  her  grief,  I  recounted  all  my 
experiences,  from  the  time  her  husband  had  left  me  to 
sink  or  swim.  At  first  I  imagined  I  could  on  her  face 
discern  a  guilty  look;  later,  when  I  told  her  of  Rose's 
kindness,  she  colored  again.  My  episode  with  Acacia 
elicited  from  her  a  kindly  smile;  and  when  I  shame- 
facedly recounted  my  sudden  banishment,  she  laughed 
significantly : 

"They  are  wise  to  send  you  back.  With  all  your 
childhood's  associations,  you  could  not  have  staid  in 
Europe  without  contrasting  the  past  with  the  present; 


NEW  YORK  OF  THE  FUTURE  335 

and  it  is  to  the  interest  of  the  future  that  all  those 
miserable  animosities  be  buried.  Here  in  Lincolnia  your 
memories  consisted  of  no  more  than  absurd  crudities 
that  common  sense  would  naturally  condemn;  so  that 
anyone  to  whom  you  would  relate  them  would  only  the 
more  appreciate  present  improvements.  Here,  and  here 
alone  you  are  safe.  In  Asia,  you  would  have  been 
unhappy,  scorned  by  the  yellow  people;  in  Africa, 
scorned  by  the  mulattoes.  You  should  have  remained 
in  Australia,  or  gone  to  the  Fiji  islands.  Why  do  you 
not  go  back  there?" 

"Not  with  the  memories  of  Acacia  the  immortal 
haunting  every  spot.  Besides,  it  is  too  late.  I  have 
only  a  few  months  of  life  left.  I  am  glad  I  returned 
here ;  for  after  all,  as  I  am  ready  to  pass  away,  I  would 
like  to  see  my  old  stamping-ground,  where  I  spent  my 
youth,  and  from  where  I  set  out  on  my  unexpected 
adventure." 

"Do  you  remember,"  reminded  Orchid,  "how  in  our 
first  retreat  in  the  Sierras,  we  spoke  of  trying  to  find 
some  of  your  descendants?  We  did  not  have  the  oppor- 
tunity to  do  so  then;  why  not  do  so  now?" 

"I  can,  and  will,"  responded  I  with  joy.  "But  I 
could  not  think  of  further  imposing  on  you.  Merely 
for  my  own  sake  your  plans  should  not  be  disarranged. 
But  I  am  ever  so  glad  I  met  you  again !  It  seems  almost 
as  if,  after  the  burden  and  heat  of  the  day,  we  had 
made  peace." 

"Are  you  glad?" 

"I  am;  it  prepares  me  to  die  peacefully." 

"You  did  not  seem  very  glad  of  it,  a  short  time  ago!" 

"What  do  you  mean?"  protested  I. 

"You  seemed  too  anxious  not  to  disarrange  my  plans ; 
you  never  even  waited  to  find  out  if  I  had  any!" 
whispered  she  ruefully. 

"I  see,"  apologized  I.  "It  was  my  disinclination  to 
disturb,  which  naturally  enough  you  misinterpreted  as 


336     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

failure  to  appreciate  your  kindness.     Tell  me  all  your 
plans,  and  then  we  shall  see  what  we  can  do  together." 

"Of  definite  plans  I  have  none.  I  thought  that  ulti- 
mately I  would  drift  back  to  California,  just  to  see 
again  some  old  friends,  which  are  the  only  remaining 
earthly  tie.  However,  as  I  never  had  the  time  or  oppor- 
tunity to  become  acquainted  with  New  York,  I  had 
thought  of  looking  around  a  little ;  and  were  we  to  do 
so  together,  it  would  serve  the  double  purpose  of  show- 
ing it  to  me,  and  yourself  comparing  it  with  the  town 
you  used  to  know,  so  long  ago.    Do  you  agree?" 

"With  pleasure,  comrade  of  the  older  and  newer  days ! 
But  honestly,  what  surprises  me  is  that  you  modern 
people  allow  any  places  at  all  to  remain  unvisited.  You 
have  so  many  facilities  to  circulate  freely,  that  it  seems 
to  me  you  should  be  the  most  inveterate  globe-trotters!" 

"There,  my  dear  friend,  you  have  touched  one  of  the 
sore  spots  of  modern  civilization.  We  are  indeed  com- 
pelled to  make  one  round  the  world  tour  at  our  gradua- 
tion. Afterwards,  what  with  our  picture  lectures  and 
telephonic  communication,  we  grow  lazy,  and  stay  at 
home.  Then  we  allow  the  world  to  get  beyond  us. 
Indeed,  it  has  been  proposed  that  every  ten  years  each 
fit  person  be  assigned  a  report  on  some  foreign  matter; 
for  democracy  cannot  survive  without  internationalism; 
and  that  is  a  myth  without  foreign  travel.  However, 
to  return  to  New  York,  I  shall  be  glad  to  share  the 
voyage  of  discovery." 

"Then  we  shall  start  out  to-morrow  morning;  to-day 
I  shall  plan  our  trips  in  a  systematic  way,  and  attend  to 
a  few  personal  matters.     Good-bye!" 

Among  these  personal  matters  was  the  hunting  up,  or 
rather  down,  of  the  descendants  of  my  family,  and  that 
of  my  brother.  I  went  to  the  bureau  of  vital  statistics, 
—  for  by  this  time  the  city  had  become  properly  system- 
atized and  centralized, — and  I  discovered  things  strange, 
indeed ! 


NEW  YORK  OF  THE  FUTURE  337 

My  brother  had  had  two  daughters,  Cornelia,  aged 
twenty-two;  and  Apollonia,  aged  eighteen.  The  former 
was  quiet  and  lackadaisical,  the  latter  bright  and  ener- 
getic. The  former  married  a  successful  business  man, 
the  latter  an  artist.  Cornelia  had  two  sons  and  one 
daughter;  Apollonia  had  no  children.  Cornelia's  eldest 
died;  but  the  second  was  successful,  and  his  eldest  son 
was  the  father  of  .  .  .  Lilac!  He  had  emigrated  to 
California,  to  take  charge  of  the  museum  there!  So  it 
was  the  tie  of  kindred  that,  unconsciously,  had  united 
us;  and  the  search  for  my  kindred,  which  I  had  earlier 
determined  to  prosecute,  but  had  been  compelled  to  post- 
pone indefinitely,  had  been  unnecessary,  for  a  meeting 
with  the  choicest  flower  of  the  line  must  long  since  have 
been  destined.  Did  Lilac's  father  know  of  the  tie  of 
kindred  ?  Was  that  the  reason  he  had  attempted  to  keep 
the  money  in  the  family,  and  out  of  the  hands  of  a 
human  hyena?  Was  that  why  he  had  welcomed  me  to 
the  family  circle?  In  that  case,  how  I  had  misjudged 
him!  Or  was  it  merely  fate,  which  delights  in  playing 
pranks  with  human  beings?  The  world  is  so  large,  and 
yet  so  small ! 

Nor  was  the  family  history  without  its  skeleton  in 
the  closet,  its  spice  of  romance.  Apollonia's  husband, 
the  artist,  had  done  poorly,  and  become  the  family's 
burden  and  disgrace.  Then,  to  the  horror  of  the  family, 
Cornelia's  son  manifested  great  talent;  talent  so  pro- 
nounced that  a  wealthy  man  paid  his  way  to  Paris,  where 
he  did  well,  and  became  acquainted  with  all  the  artists 
of  the  day.  But  he  was  of  a  practical  turn  of  mind ; 
and  when  he  saw  how  poorly  these  great  artists  lived, 
he  one  day  suddenly  decided  to  give  up  art,  and  to  turn 
to  business.  But  the  Muses  avenged  themselves;  and 
his  own  eldest  son  manifested  still  more  talent  than  he 
himself  had  done.  But  the  father  would  not  consent 
to  his  son's  taking  up  so  poorly  remunerative  a  career. 
As  the  son  persisted,  he  was,  by  his  father,  disinherited, 


338     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

but  succeeded  in  continuing  his  chosen  career,  eking  out 
a  pitiable  existence.  He  fell  in  love,  or  imagined  that 
he  had  been  fallen  in  love  with,  by  a  charming  million- 
aire girl;  whom  he  refused  with  contumely,  out  of 
grounds  semi-idealistic,  and  semi-caddish.  Then,  when 
he  had  fallen  to  depths  of  degradation,  he  was  annexed 
by  a  practical  girl,  who  made  him  use  his  gifts  in  a 
sensible  manner,  which  ultimately  led  him  to  the  museum 
directorship. 

Such  unregulated  lives  were  a  sample  of  the  disgraces 
which,  in  the  olden  days,  attended  the  career  of  art. 
Claude  Lorrain  became  an  artist  only  because  he  had 
been  a  hopeless  failure  as  a  baker.  In  the  modern  days 
art  was  carefully  nurtured.  When  a  child  manifested 
representative  talent,  he  was  given  an  opportunity  to 
study.  When  graduated,  he  was  given  permission  to 
continue  for  one  year,  when  his  work  was  exhibited  in 
the  local  art  gallery.  If  it  was  satisfactory,  he  was  given 
permission  to  go  on ;  otherwise  he  was  compelled  to  take 
up  some  more  definitely  productive  occupation.  Indeed, 
most  of  the  artists  were  farmers,  whose  long  leisure 
hours,  in  the  midst  of  nature,  permitted  them  to  cultivate 
some  hobby.  Those  who  had  been  refused  an  art  fellow- 
ship in  one  place,  might  travel  to  some  less  cultured 
ward,  where  there  were  fewer  or  no  artists.  Competition 
there  being  less  acute,  he  might  yet  prove  successful. 
This  traveling  of  artists  spread  art  all  over  the  world 
evenly,  for  every  ward  supported  one  artist  only. 

The  advantage  of  such  fellowships  was  double.  First, 
it  gave  to  each  ward  the  artistic  inspiration  of  the 
presence  and  conversation  of  one  artist,  and  the  latter 
was  bound  to  take  some  favorite  student  as  apprentice, 
who  thereby  imbibed  artistic  enthusiasm  in  a  regulated 
and  recognized  manner.  The  yearly  exhibition  was  a 
sort  of  art  competition,  and  brought  out  all  of  the  local 
talent,  amateur  as  well  as  professional.  When  some 
building  needed   to  be  decorated,   and   the  authorities 


NEW  YORK  OF  THE  FUTURE  339 

knew  of  some  suitable  person,  who  might  be  engaged  in 
some  other  profession,  he  was  excused  therefrom  for 
any  length  of  time  that  might  prove  necessary;  but  he 
had  to  make  good  by  the  time  of  the  next  spring  exposi- 
tion, or  be  returned  to  productive  labor.  Thus  the  pro- 
fession of  art  was  reorganized  on  lines  of  efficiency  just 
like  the  other  ones;  and  while  this  was  not  relished  by 
the  hazy,  lazy  or  crazy  members  of  the  profession,  it 
resulted  almost  immediately  in  an  unprecedented  bloom 
of  art  products,  such  as  the  world  had  never  known. 
So  the  methods  were  justified  by  their  fruits. 

On  returning  to  my  room,  I  was  seized  with  an  over- 
powering desire  at  least  to  visit  Lilac's  grave,  and  there 
to  offer  up  some  pious  family  prayers  for  all  of  the 
departed,  before  I  myself  should  be  taken  away  to  join 
them.  This,  however,  I  had  to  postpone,  as  I  had  an 
engagement  with  Orchid  to  visit  modern  New  York. 

On  the  first  day  we  visited  the  oldest  land-marks, 
which  had  remained  intact;  not  by  chance,  of  course, 
but  because  of  a  settled  policy  of  respecting  the  historical 
monuments  of  the  nation.  In  my  day  old  St.  John's  had 
been  demolished  just  because  a  new  street-line,  to  widen 
the  street  for  trucks,  would  have  left  the  porch  of  the 
church  extend  into  the  street  a  couple  of  feet.  That  was 
a  civic  crime  which  could  not  have  happened  in  modern 
times.  So  I  saw  again  the  colonial  City  Hall,  Trinity 
and  Old  St.  Paul's,  Faunce's  Tavern,  and  all  other 
mementoes  of  Colonial  times,  which  harked  back  to  the 
establishment  of  democracy.  Also  the  tulip  tree  planted 
by  Hendrick  Hudson  on  Spuyten  Duyvil  Creek. 

The  magnificent  Aquarium  on  the  Battery,  the  circular 
Court  House  had  been  built,  and  the  museums  of  natural 
history,  and  of  art,  in  Central  Park,  had  been  completed. 

Among  the  historic  monuments  which  were  pointed 
out  with  reverence  was,  to  my  surprise.  All  Saints' 
Church,  at  Henry  and  Scammel  Streets,  the  third  oldest 
unchanged  Episcopal  church  building  in  the  city.     Its 


340     A  ROiMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

only  surviving  slave  gallery  was  pointed  out  as  an 
example  of  the  horrors  from  which  democracy  had  saved 
the  world,  and  its  three-decker  was  now  the  only  one 
remaining  in  the  whole  country. 

But  I  was  impressed  in  the  change  of  perspective  that 
had  come  over  the  community.  The  church  was  pre- 
served as  a  monument  for  a  reason  which  would  least 
have  commended  it  to  me;  because  it  contained  the 
celebrated  scratch  made  on  a  window-pane  by  "Boss 
Tweed,"  who  nowadays  was  a  municipal  hero.  In  my 
days  he  was  looked  on  as  merely  a  looter  of  the  city 
treasury;  but  now  he  stood  out  as  the  first  planner  of 
the  city's  future,  which  was  a  matter  of  indifference  to 
my  philistinic  days.  He  had  been  a  pupil  in  the  "Rookery 
on  Scandal  Street,"  and  here  dreamed  the  first  coherent 
improvements  for  the  city :  the  park  system  of  Central, 
Morningside,  St.  Nicholas,  Colonial  and  Highbridge 
breathing-spots;  also  wharves  all  around  the  city.  A 
visit  to  this  venerable  pile  completed  our  excursions  for 
the  day. 

The  next  day  was  devoted  to  the  general  plan  of  the 
New  York  of  the  twenty-first  century.  To  begin  with, 
those  Brobdignagian  six-to-a-mile  city  blocks  west  of 
Fifth  Avenue  had  been  eliminated,  by  a  comparatively 
narrow  street  system  which  halved  them.  Then  a  uni- 
form nomenclature  had  turned  Fifth  Avenue  into  the 
thirteenth  of  twenty-seven  avenues,  allowing  a  regular 
numbering  system,  of  60  or  120  (on  the  duodecimal 
system)  to  the  block.  They  were  named  after  an  alpha- 
betic list  of  heroes  of  democracy. 

The  municipal  civic  centre  was  now  in  a  square 
bounded  by  the  old  Park  and  Seventh  Avenues,  from 
34th  to  42nd  Streets,  which  had  been  determined  by  the 
old  absurd  Pennsylvania  and  Central  stations.  Northern 
Broadway  had  already  been  a  radiating  avenue,  inter- 
rupting the  graceless  and  inconvenient  rectangular  city 
plan.     Washington  had  been  the  first  American  city  on 


NEW  YORK  OF  THE  FUTURE  341 

the  radiating  plan.  In  my  days  Philadelphia  had  begun 
the  radiating  boulevard  system,  and  New  York  had 
followed  suit  by  a  boulevard  from  the  south-eastern 
corner  of  this  civic  centre,  at  Fourth  Avenue  and  34th 
Street,  to  the  East  River,  where  Clinton  Street  falls 
into  it,  passing  by  the  Williamsburg  bridge  plaza,  with 
a  park  to  preserve  that  miracle  of  grace,  All  Saints' 
Church.  Radiating  boulevards  to  Greenwich  Village 
and  the  Kips  Bay  districts  were  unnecessary,  because  of 
the  configuration  of  the  island;  yet  they  had  been  built, 
to  redeem  both  districts,  and  they  ended  at  Christopher 
Street,  and  at  East  River  Park.  This  had  stopped  the 
senseless  migration  of  fashion  northwards.  Central  Park 
itself  was  not  made  the  civic  centre  for  the  reason  that 
geographically  the  district  to  the  north  of  it  is  unfavor- 
able for  business;  to  the  north-west  the  ridge  was  con- 
verted into  the  park  system,  to  the  north-east  lay  a 
very  much  abbreviated  low-land,  towards  Randall's 
Island.  This  would  have  done  away  with  Broadway, 
and  left  the  southern  part  of  the  island,  always  the  most 
important,  a  wilderness. 

This  civic  centre  had  been  determined  by  the  two  large 
stations,  which  now  served  the  community  as  the  north- 
ern and  southern  stations,  just  as  in  Boston.  The  idea 
of  one  central  station,  except  for  round  towns  like  Paris 
or  London,  had  been  abandoned.  This  system,  as 
exemplified  in  Frankfort,  Leipzig  and  Rome,  always 
implied  a  terrible  waste  of  mileage  and  space  for  one 
of  the  directions,  while  all  practical  advantages  of  the 
central  station  were  secured  by  a  connecting  subway. 
Even  in  London  and  Paris  of  my  day  a  belt-line  had 
to  be  resorted  to,  and  left  innumerable  terminals,  all 
of  which  ultimately  had  to  be  combined,  leaving  just 
one  station  on  each  side  of  their  rivers. 

We  were  taken  down  to  visit  one  of  the  standard 
street  arrangements,  which  included  four  stories.  Lowest 
were  the  sewers,  and  standard  electric,  phone  and  water 


342     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

communications.  These  were  so  arranged  that  they 
were  all  accessible  without  the  ancient  method  of  tearing 
up  street-pavements  immediately  they  were  laid  down, 
and  before  the  luckless  property-owners  (what  a  joke 
that  "ownership"  was!)  had  even  paid  for  it.  They 
used  to  call  New  York  a  trench  city,  for  the  streets  used 
to  be  continually  in  eruption.  And  that  in  a  country 
which  prided  itself  on  business  systematization !  Above 
this  were  the  passenger  and  business  delivery  subways, 
and  next,  the  old  street-level  reserved  for  carriages. 

In  my  days  they  allowed  automobile  "accidents"  to 
go  on  happening  merrily  till  in  a  single  city  they  yearly 
killed  more  human  beings  than  used  to  die  at  Waterloo 
or  other  large  battles.  Who  cared?  For  the  devil  took 
the  hindmost;  and  the  giants  of  industry  were  too  busy 
establishing  libraries  or  fighting  hook-worm  disease  at 
the  antipodes  to  save  their  own  fellow-citizens.  The 
officials  were  too  busy  working  for  re-election,  and  the 
clergy  in  getting  a  more  lucrative  "call,"  so  the  devil 
had  rich  innings. 

Foot-passengers,  of  course,  had  to  be  deflected  to  a 
higher  level,  along  a  first-story  balcony,  so  to  speak, 
which  crossed  street-corners  on  light  bridges.  These 
second-story  side-walks  had  of  course  been  prehistoric 
in  English  Chester,  and  in  Trinidad's  Port  of  Spain. 
Such  elevated  entrances  had  once  been  built  at  Green- 
hut's  department  store,  but  none  of  the  others  had  had 
the  intelligence  to  follow  suit ;  but  eventually  elementary 
common-sense  triumphed. 

How  long  common  sense,  that  luckless  capo-scuola, 
has  to  wait  for  recognition,  was  most  impressed  on  me 
during  the  war.  Here,  on  one  side,  were  the  Germans 
resurrecting  unmanageable  cuirasses;  while  on  the  other 
side,  at  the  Bible  House  were  exhibited  Testaments, 
which,  worn  over  the  heart,  had,  in  many  instances, 
held  back  a  bullet  which  otherwise  would  have  pene- 
trated the  heart  of  the  soldier.    These  Testaments  seem 


NEW  YORK  OF  THE  FUTURE  343 

to  have  been  exhibited  as  a  sort  of  magic  protection  of 
the  Bible,  instead  of  reflecting  that  a  small  metal  shield, 
sewn  in  the  lining,  right  over  the  heart  or  intestine, 
would  have  saved  the  lives  of  thousands,  nay  millions. 
But  what  experts  ever  welcomed  common  sense? 

Such  standardized  streets  were  graduated  to  the  con- 
centric districts.  Manhattan  Island,  being  so  small, 
however,  did  not  admit  of  this  graduation,  so  that  the 
full  system  of  four-decker  streets  was  complete. 

The  beautiful  round  semi-global  arrangement  of  San 
Francisco,  with  the  tallest  buildings  in  the  centre,  and 
growing  regularly  lower  in  the  measure  of  distance, 
could  of  course  not  be  carried  out  in  narrow  Manhattan ; 
but  even  here  was  an  orderly  arrangement  of  concentric 
districts. 

Outermost  were  the  wharves  which  extended  regularly 
all  around  the  island.  Delivery  tracks  and  trucks  came 
in  on  the  lower  levels,  which  were  all  roofed  over,  so 
that  to  the  outer  view  it  seemed  as  if  a  park-like  green 
extended  to  the  roofs  of  the  wharves,  which  were 
pleasure  or  amusement  gardens.  These  extended  all 
around  the  city,  affording  so  much  space  for  enjoyment 
that  very  few  people  went  away  for  villegiaturas  at 
summer  hotels.  As  to  there  being  too  much  room,  that  is 
nonsense  in  view  of  the  millions  of  the  inhabitants  who 
were  only  too  glad  to  enjoy  the  coolness  and  view  on 
the  water,  if  they  could  do  so  respectably,  and  without 
being  jostled.  Every  group  of  city  blocks  had  one  special 
recreation  pier,  so  that  there  was  no  crowding,  and 
everybody  knew  just  where  to  go  to  get  the  pleasures 
of  a  neighborhood  party. 

On  the  water-edge,  therefore,  there  was  a  band  of 
green  all  around  the  island,  extending  for  about  half  a 
block.  Then  came  a  band  of  residences  facing  this  park, 
all  around  the  island.  The  business  houses  that  had  lined 
West,  East  and  Water  Streets  had  all  been  concentrated 
into  store-houses  further  inland,  to  which  the  under- 


344     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

ground  delivery  system  brought  everything  from  the 
ships.  These  residences  were  ten  or  eleven  story  apart- 
ment houses  of  the  best  type,  so  that  many  might  enjoy 
the  river  front,  much  as  used  to  be  the  case  fronting 
the  lower  reaches  of  Riverside  Park.  As  they  were  all 
similar,  and  belonged  to  the  city,  the  rent  was  stabilized, 
and  moderate;  so  that  the  majority  of  the  city  residents 
enjoyed  air  and  view.  Formerly  these  choice  locations 
were  taken  up  by  gas  houses,  stores,  storage  warehouses 
and  dumps,  while  the  residents  had  to  take  refuge  on 
inside,  viewless  and  airless  streets;  evidently  a  senseless 
arrangement.  This  concentric  residence  band  extended 
for  about  two  blocks  in  width,  the  inner  block-band  being 
several  stories  higher  than  the  outer,  so  as  to  give  as 
much  of  a  view  as  possible. 

Inside  of  this  higher  block-band  ran  a  business  street 
all  around  the  city.  This  was  standardized,  so  there  were 
the  same  kind  and  number  of  stores  in  each  block. 
There  were  the  catalogue  stores,  to  serve  the  small  and 
common  needs  of  the  neighboring  community.  There 
were  barbers  for  hair-cutting  (though  not  for  shaving, 
as  everybody  used  small  25-cent  safety  razors,  such  as 
the  Mark  Cross  variety,  certainly  not  the  kinds  that  cost 
more,  which  practiced  on  the  ignorance  and  credulity 
of  the  people).  Here  were  sold  the  package  lunches, 
which  had  to  be  put  up  fresh,  and  arranged  according 
to  the  local  needs.  Here  were  sold  stationery  and  writ- 
ing supplies,  books  and  newspapers,  medicines  and 
candies. 

Except  for  the  contents,  all  the  stores  looked  alike. 
Being  in  standardized  order,  everybody  knew  just 
where  to  go,  there  being  simple  but  tasteful  signs  to 
guide  the  newcomers.  The  window-displays  were  fre- 
quently changed,  for  there  were  inspectors  for  each  kind 
of  stores,  and  each  one  contained  a  box  for  suggestions, 
which  were  acted  on  wherever  possible.  Above  the  stores 
were  the  manufacturing  lofts,  so  that  there  was  abso- 


NEW  YORK  OF  THE  FUTURE  345 

lutely  no  waste  in  delivery  or  distribution.  These  were 
not  the  factories  for  the  standard  goods,  only  the  novel- 
ties, the  printing  outfits,  photographic  development,  etc. 

Inside  of  this  band  of  retail  business  was  a  band  of 
real  factories  for  staple  goods.  These  were  arranged 
according  to  the  world-wide  circular  arrangement, 
divided  by  twenty- four  avenues  into  twenty-five  stan- 
dardized sections.  These  were  connected  with  the 
wharves  and  railroad  stations  by  business  subways. 

These  were  arranged  as  follows :  To  begin  with,  the 
crazy  patch-work  of  railroad  and  steamer  piers  of  my 
days  was  eliminated.  No  longer  were  there  passenger 
docks  in  Hoboken,  where  there  were  no  passengers, 
except  by  ferry.  On  the  contrary,  these  were  all  arranged 
systematically.  The  New  England  boats  landed  on  the 
east  side  of  the  island,  in  geographical  order.  Then  the 
European  lines  landed  along  the  East  river,  from  Cor-' 
lears  Point  to  the  Battery.  All  South  American  and 
South  Coast  and  West  India  traffic  landed  on  the 
Hudson  River.  The  Jersey  coast  of  course  was  devoted 
to  the  American  transcontinental  railroads.  As  the 
wharves  were  all  of  a  standard  design,  there  could  be 
no  motive  for  choice  except  logic  and  convenience. 

All  around  the  island,  just  inside  the  wharves,  and 
under  the  green  parked  belt  was  a  belt  line,  which  acted 
as  a  universal  switch  arrangement,  and  sent  all  the 
materials  to  its  special  factory  group,  by  a  direct  net- 
work of  feeders. 

Port-charges  had  of  course  been  reduced,  and  that  for 
the  good  reason  that  under  the  old  corsair  system  the 
port  of  New  York  had  so  declined  that  radical  changes 
were  imperative.  First  all  through  traffic  had  been' 
deflected  to  Montauk  Point.  Later,  the  international 
government  had  routed  through  trains  to  Halifax, 
reducing  the  European  ocean  voyage  by  at  least  two 
days.  Later  yet,  common-sense  directed  through  traffic 
down  the  left  bank  of  the  St.   Lawrence  via  Quebec, 


346     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

and  under  the  Saguenay  via  Mingan  to  Cape  Charles 
in  Labrador.  This  avoided  all  the  treacherous  banks, 
and  supplied  a  splendid  ocean  ship  base  in  the  straits  of 
Belle  Isle.  From  there  the  run  to  England  was  of  not 
more  than  two  days.  The  New  York  barge  canal  then 
turned  its  freight  north  to  Quebec,  instead  of  south 
down  the  Hudson,  except  for  local  freight.  The  New 
York  route  had  been  long  bolstered  up  by  the  separation 
of  nationalities,  and  as  soon  as  that  had  been  wiped  out, 
freight  sought  the  shortest  routes. 

This  diversion  of  through  traffic,  so  elementary  in 
common  sense  that  the  sailors  used  to  laugh  at  the  cir- 
cuitous New  York  route  of  my  day,  had  of  course 
diminished  the  importance  of  New  York,  which  had  also 
for  half  a  century  been  supported  by  the  incompetence 
of  that  private  monopoly,  the  New  Haven  road.  Limited 
excess  fare  trains  running  slower  than  many  freight 
trains,  and  only  half  a  dozen  trains  a  day  to  Boston, 
often  made  up  of  twenty  cars,  where  people,  packed 
like  sardines,  often  had  to  stand  up  for  five  hours  at 
a  time,  these  had  deservedly  held  back  New  England ; 
which  section  richly  deserved  this  treatment,  not  only 
for  its  unwillingness  to  municipalize,  but  for  the  cruel 
popular  persecution  of  the  N.  Y.  &  N.  E.  (Ninety  Years 
and  No  Earnings!)  which  was  fighting  the  battles  of 
New  England,  had  its  population  not  oppressed  it,  in 
hopes  of  higher  dividends  from  the  New  Haven.  This 
local  stupidity  had  for  half  a  century  kept  up  the  im- 
portance of  New  York,  which  richly  deserved  its  later 
fall,  because  of  its  piratical  port  charges  so  long  as  it 
thought  itself  able  to  collect  them. 

As  Manhattan  Island  was  narrow,  there  was,  inside 
of  the  circular  factory-belt,  but  little  space;  just  enough 
for  the  gas-works,  the  packing-houses,  the  electricity 
centrals,  and  all  prime  agencies.  The  logical  place  for 
these,  of  course,  was  not,  as  in  my  days,  the  edges  of 
the  districts  they  served,  but  the  centre.      Of  course, 


NEW  YORK  OF  THE  FUTURE  347 

in  my  days,  they  were  indecent;  but  at  present  they 
had  been  compulsorily  cleared  up.  There  were  two 
centres  for  them,  one  south  of  Central  Park,  and  one 
above.  In  this  way  there  was  equality  of  pressure,  and 
service. 

We  must  now  consider  the  civic  and  business  centre 
south  of  Central  Park,  between  34th  and  42nd  Streets, 
and  Park  and  Seventh  Avenues.  Of  course  the  markets 
were  in  their  logical  places,  the  railroad  terminals,  as 
the  Reading  railway  had  once  done  in  Philadelphia. 
When  the  Pennsylvania  and  Central  Stations  had  first 
been  built,  it  had  been  with  a  fine  disregard  for  economy, 
as  the  public  was  to  pay  not  only  for  them,  but  for  a 
double  amount  of  watered  stock.  In  an  age  of  sky- 
scrapers a  whole  block  of  a  single  story  was  of  course 
an  anomaly,  as  the  Philadelphia  Broad  Street  and 
Reading  Terminals  showed.  These  two  New  York 
terminals  were,  soon  after  nationalization,  rebuilt, 
arranging  for  a  number  of  floors  of  administration 
offices,  but  especially  of  markets,  where  were  exposed 
for  sale  the  goods  brought  by  the  railroads. 

These  markets  were  not  run  for  profit,  but  for  public 
convenience,  and  they  contained  not  millionaire  concerns 
that  disguised  themselves  as  market  stands  to  deceive 
the  unwary,  but  the  state  distributing  agents  and  the 
farmer  himself,  if  he  cared  to  bring  his  own  material, 
which  in  most  cases  was  not  worth  while  to  him,  as  he 
knew  the  state  distributors  had  no  interests  other  than 
to  treat  him  fairly.  If  they  did  come,  however,  they 
came  in  on  the  trains;  and  by  elevators  took  their  stuff 
up  to  the  market  floors.  Thus  were  solved  simply 
enough  the  crying  evils  of  my  day.  First  had  been  the 
miserable  sheds  like  the  Gansevoort.  Then  indeed  were 
built  modern  markets,  but  at  rates  so  high  that  the  food 
sold  was  twice  as  expensive  as  outside. 

Part  of  the  difficulty  of  my  days  was  due  to  the  anti- 
septic package   insanity.     For   instance,   handkerchiefs 


348     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

that  had  to  be  washed  anyway,  were  sold  only  in  alleged 
antiseptic  packages  at  double  the  rates.  Again,  the 
coffee,  coming  in  a  single  bag  from  the  same  tree,  would 
sell  loose  for  about  twenty  cents  a  pound;  in  cans,  at 
forty  cents ;  but  in  highly  lithographed  packages,  at 
seventy.  This  state  of  affairs  was  of  course  due  to  the 
crass  ignorance  of  rich  housewives,  whose  only  standard 
of  goodness  was  the  height  of  the  price  charged,  and 
who  had  rich  husbands  to  victimize. 

Nowadays  there  was  a  government  inspector  who 
explained  the  intrinsic  value  of  things  to  such  as  pre- 
ferred to  do  their  cooking.  As  a  matter  of  fact,  very 
few  housewives  could  cook  in  competition  with  the 
public  kitchens.  Even  in  my  days  busy  city  dwellers 
had  supported  the  delicatessen  stores,  which,  however, 
were  enormities,  of  which  you  could  have  convinced 
yourself  by  asking  to  see  the  sooty  spoons  used  in  the 
oil  of  which  potato  salad  was  made. 

But  it  was  the  people  themselves  who  were  to  blame, 
for  they  actually  insisted  on  adulterations.  For  instance, 
genuine  chocolate  is  brown;  but  people  generally  held 
the  idea  that  the  darker  the  appearance  of  the  chocolate, 
the  better  it  was,  and  the  more  money  they  would  pay 
for  it.  Therefore,  next  to  the  printing  ink  houses,  candy 
kitchens  were  the  best  customers  of  the  lamp-black 
manufacturers.  Had  it  not  been  that  people  refused 
genuine  nutmegs,  would  Connecticut  ever  have  become 
the  stamping  ground  of  millionaires  whose  fortunes 
came  from  saw-mill  sweepings?  Consequently,  the 
adulterations  flourished,  and  through  them  the  delicates- 
sen stores.  These  now  having  been  municipalized  sup- 
plied this  class  of  housekeepers  with  genuine  articles  at 
low  prices. 

Modern  people  were  educated  to  a  new  axiom,  that 
on  the  average,  the  cheaper  an  article  is,  the  better  it  is. 
In  my  days  existed  the  opposite  rule,  namely,  that  a 
thing  was  better  for  being  more  expensive.     Grocers 


NEW  YORK  OF  THE  FUTURE  349 

frequently  found  it  impossible  to  dispose  of  tea  at  25 
cents  a  pound,  when  it  sold  like  hot  cakes  at  eighty. 
In  my  days  sordidness  had  risen  to  such  a  pass  that  if 
you  offered  a  man  a  free  gift,  he  would  refuse  it,  suspect- 
ing some  trick;  and  if  you  wished  to  persuade  a  man 
to  do  something  for  his  own  benefit  you  had  to  advance 
as  reason  the  chance  of  overreaching  somebody  else. 
Under  such  conditions,  was  it  any  wonder  that  Germany 
sought  to  win  the  friendship  of  nations  by  offering  to 
them  as  gifts  slices  of  other  lands?  All  this  flowed  from 
the  mistake  that  the  higher  the  price,  the  better  the  thing ; 
when  on  the  contrary  all  the  things  of  supreme  value, 
like  the  beauties  of  nature,  virtue  and  heaven  are  free 
to  "whosoever  will !" 

So  true  was  all  this  that  the  United  States  church 
which  was  the  most  successful  was  the  one  that  had 
a  fixed  scale  of  prices  for  church  seats,  for  the  admin- 
istration of  sacraments,  for  absolution  and  indulgences. 
The  fault  lay  not  with  that  church,  but  the  people  who 
refused  to  recognize  any  scale  of  values  except  that  of 
the  almighty  dollar. 

In  my  days,  millionaires  still  indulged  themselves  in 
private  gardens  and  picture  galleries.  These  of  course 
had  disappeared.  Parks  and  galleries  gradually  absorbed 
all  picturesque  estates  and  pictures  worth  seeing,  and 
these  were  then  so  arranged  that  even  the  least  success- 
ful had  the  same  opportunities  of  enjoyment  and  culture 
as  the  most  fortunate.  As  to  museums,  Manhattan  had 
completed  the  two  Central  Park  structures,  and  even  so 
they  were  too  small.  The  old  arsenal  site  had  been' 
utilized  for  a  new  one.  As  to  parks,  there  was  not  only 
the  belt  around  the  wharves,  but  an  interior  park  system, 
from  the  Battery,  up  Broadway  to  City  Hall  Park,  up 
the  old  Bowery  to  Gramercy  Park,  all  around  the  pack- 
eries  and  electric  centrals  to  the  civic  centre. 

Theatres  also  had  been  municipalized  at  a  time  when 
their   type   was   changing.     When   around    Fourteenth 


350     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

Street,  most  theatres  were  chiefly  narrow  double  houses 
remodeled.  When  they  moved  up  to  42nd  Street,  they 
became  foolish  low  square  structures;  but  these  could 
not  last  in  the  sky-scraper  age.  Hammerstein's  Opera 
House  and  the  Century  began  to  add  a  roof  garden. 
Then  later  was  added  a  basement  theatre,  so  that  ulti- 
mately there  were  three,  and  later  four  auditoriums 
over  each  other  in  the  same  building.  These  mostly 
congregated  between  the  42nd  Street  civic  centre,  and 
Central  Park ;  while  the  manufacturing  block-band 
around  Central  Park  dropping  out,  its  place  was  taken, 
on  both  its  sides,  by  a  row  of  theatres  and  museums, 
some  for  the  different  European  nationalities  which  had 
contributed  to  the  Lincolnian  melting-pot.  These,  how- 
ever, did  not  face  the  Park,  as  that  space  was  too  valu- 
able for  a  circular  block-band  of  apartment  houses,  such 
as  had  begun  to  spring  up  during  my  days. 

While  some  of  these  latter  had  not  needed  many  alter- 
ations to  modernize  them,  they  were  different  in  many 
ways.  During  a  few  years  of  my  own  early  life  apart- 
ment rents  had  increased  from  $300  to  $1400  a  room 
a  year,  counting  halls,  bath-rooms  and  pantries.  On 
municipalization  such  insanities  of  course  disappeared. 
When  through  traffic  left  New  York,  the  wholesale  and 
printing  trades  had  been  spread  evenly  through  the  land. 
This  had  induced  a  temporary  ebb  in  population,  leaving 
block  after  block  of  houses  deserted.  This  broUght  down 
the  rentals,  and  this  in  turn  induced  a  return  wave.  As 
the  abandoned  New  England  farms  were  restored  by  an 
immigration  of  Italians  and  Slavs,  so  the  New  York 
apartments  grew  in  popularity  in  view  of  their  cheapness 
and  remarkable  values  for  low  rentals,  —  for  instance, 
that  Park  apartment  on  Fifth  Avenue,  where  ten  rooms 
had  rented  for  $14,000  a  year,  could  be  lived  in  for  from 
ten  to  twenty  dollars  a  month. 

Each  block  consisted  of  one  organized  apartment. 
There  was  one  gateway  to  the  court-yard,  which  was 


NEW  YORK  OF  THE  FUTURE  351 

filled  with  a  cultivable  garden,  or  at  least  with  potted 
plants.  This  inner  court  was  raised,  and  its  floor  con- 
sisted of  thick  glass ;  for  underneath  it  was  the  assembly 
hall  of  the  block,  or  political  ward.  It  was  used  as  the 
common  dining  room  by  the  use  of  folding  tables  which, 
when  not  in  use,  stood  in  closets  around  the  walls.  Here 
were  held  the  weekly  ward-dances  and  the  daily  moving 
picture  exhibitions,  whenever  the  weather  forbade  the 
use  of  the  courtyard  above.  Around  and  above  the  gate- 
way were  the  ward-offices :  the  local  post  office,  for  tele- 
grams and  telephones,  the  bank,  the  news  agency,  the 
catalogue  store,  the  candy  shop,  and  the  barber  and 
manicure.  This  arrangement  was  a  standardized  affair, 
so  that  everybody  knew  exactly  what  he  could,  or  could 
not  secure  there ;  and  if  the  selection  of  goods  was  not 
satisfactory,  suggestions  at  the  weekly  ward-meeting 
would  at  once  make  it  so. 

The  bridges,  of  which  my  day  and  generation  was 
so  proud,  were  finally  torn  down  as  too  dangerous  and 
expensive  to  keep  in  repair.  Besides,  many  of  them  had 
ceased  to  be  necessary,  with  the  declining  importance  of 
New  York.  Bridge  jams,  which  in  my  days  were  so 
violent  that  patrolmen  observing  them  frequently  went 
insane,  were  regarded  as  degrading  vestiges  of  barbar- 
ism, public  incompetence,  and  monopolistic  greed. 

Because  of  the  proximity  of  river,  beaches,  mountains 
and  sports.  New  York  was  considered  one  of  the  most 
convenient  and  delightful  summer  resorts.  Its  foreign 
populations  had  by  the  world-war  been  fused  into  a 
more  homogeneous  American  nationality;  but  foreign 
descendants  still  predominated.  This  meant  that  here 
the  international  language  was  more  used  than  elsewhere 
in  Lincolnia,  and  more  social  missionaries  were  needed. 
Though  education  remained  exceptionally  important, 
there  still  remained  a  notable  artistic  deficiency. 

That  sumptuous  barbarism  of  my  day,  the  general 
Public  Library,  had  been  thoroughly  renovated.     The 


352     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

ceiling  of  the  reading  room,  which,  however,  was  a 
faithful  representation  of  the  nebulous  mental  condition 
of  those  who  erected  it,  had  been  changed  into  an  im- 
mense map  of  the  world,  each  hemisphere  on  one  of  the 
sides.  These  maps  were  in  relief,  and  were  diagram- 
matic of  the  chief  products,  fauna,  flora,  architecture, 
and  history;  so  that  idle  readers  who  looked  up  had 
an  opportunity  of  self -improvement;  and  many  did 
enjoy  the  maps,  so  beautiful  and  useful  were  they.  The 
magnificent  barrenness  of  the  marble  walls,  emblematic 
of  the  cultural  vacuity  of  the  city  authorities  of  that 
philistinic  era,  had  been  coated  with  a  preparation  which 
admitted  of  being  covered  with  instructive  scientific  data 
and  tables;  comparative  schedules  of  various  languages, 
historical  outlines,  biologic  classifications,  geologic  cross- 
cuts, and  representations  of  the  solar  system.  There 
were  chemical  tables,  panoramas  of  the  history  of 
costume,  of  mythology,  of  great  authors  in  procession, 
surrounded  by  their  created  characters;  musicians,  like 
Beethoven  among  his  nine  symphonies,  Wagner  among 
his  operas,  and  various  ethnological  remains.  In  short 
the  building  was  a  popular  university,  whose  instruction 
was  as  pleasant  as  it  was  easy  and  thorough. 

The  systematization  of  public  institutions  avoided 
useless  duplication,  so  that  the  splendid  new  Aquarium, 
the  Bronx  Parks,  and  the  Museums  were  so  carefully 
reclassified  that  there  was  found  double  the  needed 
room.  Thus  visitors,  in  making  a  systematic  tour  of 
the  sights,  practically  reviewed  their  education  yearly. 


CHAPTER  XXXII 

THE  CONQUEST  OF  TIME 

For  a  long  while  Orchid  and  I  might  have  continued 
exploring  the  city's  new  living  conditions,  but  that  one 
day  we  thought  we  would  go  on  a  "slumming"  tour  in 
the  formerly  distressful  districts  of  the  east  side;  and 
we  passed  near  St.  Shark's-in-the-Orchard,  a  church 
built  with  the  money  left  by  a  certain  doughty  Dutch 
worthy  who  hated  the  Episcopal  church  so  much  that 
he  once  imprisoned  an  Anglican  clergyman  for  wearing 
a  surplice,  and  yet  was  fated  to  lie  under  the  altar  of 
such  a  church.  Imagine  the  feelings  that  must  have  been 
chasing  themselves  through  his  manly  breast,  by  night 
flitting  through  that  "ecclesiastical  junk-shop"  where 
had  been  hatched  all  kinds  of  stunts,  such  as  the  reading 
of  the  funeral  service  over  Rockefeller  on  the  pavement 
in  front  of  the  Standard  Oil  building  at  29  Broadway; 
and  where,  in  a  witches'  cauldron  of  Nietzschean  far- 
rago, had  been  concocted  the  most  puerile  hodge-podge 
of  cribbed  comparative  religion. 

Among  the  graves  we  lingered,  for  I  wished  to  find 
those  of  my  relatives,  which  might  conceivably  be  found 
here,  among  other  relics  of  my  day  and  generation.  As 
I  experienced  some  difficulty  in  finding  them,  I  asked  the 
aid  of  the  keeper  of  the  interesting  pile,  to  which  in  my 
day  had  been  added  a  bust  of  that  same  tortured  Dutch 
worthy,  at  the  dedication  of  which  the  professor  through 


354     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

whom  the  gift,  had  been  made  had  not  even  been  allowed 
to  speak,  and  had  thereafter  been  summarily  dismissed 
as  an  orange  sucked  dry. 

Monuments  I  did  not  expect  to  find,  for  I  knew  that 
the  one  who  long  ago  here  had  received  an  income  of 
over  ten  thousand  dollars  a  year  had  tried  to  get  his 
own  family  memorial  paid  for  him  by  a  poor  relative 
from  whom  he  had  in  devious  ways  derived  the  fruits 
of  his  unremitting  study,  on  which  he  had  built  his  own 
fame  and  fortune.  He  had  left  this  same  poor  relative 
to  hunt  up  and  pay  for  the  inscription  on  his  grand- 
father's grave  in  Paris,  and  never  answered  a  letter  ask- 
ing whether  he  would  bear  his  share  of  the  expense.  Such 
an  individual  was  not  likely  to  have  done  much  for 
anybody. 

Still,  after  he  had  passed  away,  his  family,  for  the 
sake  of  his  standing  in  the  community,  had  erected  a 
sizeable  slab  in  the  very  front  of  the  yard,  behind  the 
bust  of  the  Dutch  patron  saint. 

As  the  caretaker  led  me  there,  I  noticed,  seated  near, 
a  lady  in  mourning,  holding  the  hand  of  a  little  two- 
year-old  darling,  gently  playing  on  the  grass.  At  first 
I  did  not  scrutinize  the  lady ;  but  Orchid  recoiled  like 
a  rattle-snake,  flushed,  and  shivered.  Anxious,  I  exam- 
ined the  white-robed  apparition  —  for  in  these  days  the 
mourning  color  was  white,  black  having  been  discarded 
as  wasteful,  depressing,  and  flauntingly  unchristian,  — 
and  in  it  I  recognized  one  whom  I  had  been  given  to 
understand  was  dead,  the  chastened  features  of  my 
darling  Lilac.  And  the  child?  She  was  the  image  of 
the  little  two-year-old  "Bunny,"  whom  more  than  a 
century  ago  I  had  left  in  Brooklyn. 

Then  Lilac  examined  me;  her  eyes  opened  wide,  she 
grew  pale,  she  fainted,  and  would  have  fallen,  but  that 
I  rushed  to  her  support.  There  was  no  need,  no  room 
for  words.  We  wept,  we  tried  to  console  each  other; 
and  had  there  been  any  doubt  in  the  identification,  it 


THE  CONQUEST  OF  TIME  355 

would  have  been  set  at  rest  by  a  scream  of  passion  so 
hoarse  and  shrill  that  at  first  I  did  not  recognize  it  as 
the  voice  of  Orchid,  whose  features  were  scarlet  and 
purple  in  alternating  accesses  of  fury  and  jealousy.  Like 
a  maenad  she  howled,  "I  see  I  am  no  longer  needed! 
I  hope  the  vampire  has  found  another  victim!  You 
think  you  are  happy,  but  you  have  only  ruined  each 
other!  But  I  am  saved!"  Then  she  disappeared,  and  I 
never  saw  her  again. 

We  had  no  time  for  her.  We  were  too  busy.  I  had 
a  radiant  help-meet  to  restore  to  equanimity,  and  a  shy 
darling  to  lure  to  my  arms.  Of  that  day  I  could  not 
give  any  account;  they  were  mysteries,  not  lawful  to 
utter;  and  after  an  orgy  of  reminiscences,  sparkling  in 
all  the  rainbow  colors  of  uncontrollable  tears,  we  found 
merciful  respite  from  our  emotions  in  blissful  dreams. 

With  the  morning  came  saner  thoughts.  First  I  in- 
sisted on  learning  all  the  details  of  the  serious  illness 
which  had  in  her  induced  a  trance  that  not  only  had 
given  rise  to  seemingly  justified  reports  of  her  demise, 
but,  if  it  had  happened  in  my  own  days,  would  have 
caused  her  to  be  buried  alive.  Nowadays,  however,  the 
authorities  had  reverted  to  the  oriental  method  of  pre- 
venting coffin-murders  by  waiting  until  putrefaction  had 
unfitted  the  body  for  use  by  the  soul,  when  the  remains 
were  sanitarily  disposed  of  in  a  crematory.  Under  lov- 
ing nursing  she  had  recovered,  fortunately  for  her  tender 
bud,  who  had  grown  into  a  charming  cherub,  slender, 
blue-eyed,  golden-haired,  plain  of  feature,  but  divine  of 
smile.  In  a  sanitarium  she  had  finally  recovered ;  but  on 
the  death  of  her  disgraced  parents  she  had  vanished  to 
return  to  the  original  family  seat.  Here  she  had  spent 
over  a  year,  not  knowing  for  what  she  was  waiting. 
Through  Dr.  Policiver's  agency  she  had  been  told  that 
I  had  succumbed  to  my  natural  senescence  in  southern 
California;  and  as  I  had  left  immediately,  there  was 
no  way  for  her  to  find  out  the  contrary,  had  she  even 


356     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

suspected.  So  she  waited,  as  her  heart,  not  her  head 
dictated,  for  me! 

I  would  have  preferred  to  travel,  except  that  the  care 
of  the  baby,  who  was  now  learning  to  use  the  word 
"daddy,"  advised  a  quiet  continuance  of  the  conditions 
in  which  she  had  only  recently  recovered  her  ruddy 
health.  So  I  had  plenty  leisure  to  tell  her  all  my  adven- 
tures; and  when  I  spoke  of  Rose,  her  hand  stole  into 
mine,  and  she  softly  exclaimed  her  gratitude  to  this 
South  American  comrade  and  friend,  wishing  that  she 
could  meet  her,  to  thank  her  in  person. 

I  took  good  care  not  to  divulge  the  operation  that  had 
renewed  my  existence;  it  seemed  too  gruesome  to  inflict 
on  this  idyllic  circle. 

Then  I  told  about  Australia,  and  Acacia's  friendship. 
Her  eyes  glowed,  her  breath  came  fast  and  slow,  as  I 
recalled  my  vagabondage  about  all  the  by-paths  of  Asia. 
When  I  told  her  of  Concordia,  her  eyes  shone  like  stars, 
for  she  too  had  made  her  world-tour,  and  had  seen  the 
pinnacles  of  the  world-sanctuary,  and  had  been  initiated 
there.  Then  came  Acacia's  death,  though  I  here  also 
in  silence  passed  over  the  actual  means  of  my  regenera- 
tion. But  I  gave  her  to  understand  that  it  was  to  him 
that  I  owed  my  recovery;  and  tears  quivered  in  her 
lashes  as  I  told  of  the  last  farewell  to  the  luminous  statue 
in  the  Pantheon. 

The  European  trip,  in  detail,  was  not  so  interesting 
to  her,  as  all  these  geographizations,  so  fascinating  to 
me,  to  her  were  elementary  geography ;  and  the  historical 
greatness  of  the  people  involved  did  not  exist  for  her. 

Then  came  the  meeting  with  Orchid ;  and  a  distressed 
puzzledness  crept  into  her  gleaming  eyes ;  she  was  trying 
to  fathom  the  significance  of  her  having  called  me  a 
vampire.  I  glossed  it  over  as  well  as  I  could ;  I  blamed 
it  on  jealousy,  on  her  nursing  me,  on  the  natural  kindli- 
ness that  must  have  arisen  in  a  nurse's  heart ;  but  I  fear 
that  of  these  evasions  I  made  only  a  poor  job.     I  may 


THE  CONQUEST  OF  TIME  357 

have  erred  in  thus  keeping  the  truth  from  the  only  being 
on  earth  who  perhaps  had  a  right  to  it;  yet  I  felt  myself 
incapable  of  imparting  its  hideousness  to  this  gentle 
comrade,  my  sweetheart,  the  frail,  winsome  mother  of 
my  darling  child.  Maybe  it  was  old-world  chivalrous- 
ness,  which  in  these  days  would  have  been  considered 
unworthy;  but  there  the  ancient  training  in  the  feelings 
of  honor  carried  the  day.  However  progressive  one  may 
be,  those  childhood  impressions  reawaken  in  old  age,  and 
that  antiquated  categorical  imperative  swayed  me  now. 

As  a  matter  of  fact,  I  have  come  to  believe  honor, 
as  it  is  usually  understood,  is  a  pretty  poor  thing,  when 
contrasted  with  honesty,  unselfishness,  truth,  and  fair- 
ness. I  once  had  a  relative  who  belonged  to  that  human 
tribe  that  keeps  alive  the  sentiments  of  honor  and 
chivalry.  At  twenty-three  years  of  age,  he  would  still 
blush  as  a  maiden  at  an  opera  ballet,  and  insist  on  an 
intolerable  code  of  restrictions  in  dealing  with  men.  But 
he  had  no  qualms  about  letting  his  poor  solitary  mother 
die  abandoned  a  couple  of  hundred  miles  from  where 
he  held  a  respected  church  position,  and  never  saw  her 
except  when  the  half  blind  and  bent  over  old  lady 
managed  to  get  him  a  well-paying  engagement  to  lecture ; 
he  never  flinched  when  on  comfortable  sleeping  cars 
he  repeatedly  passed  through  the  city  where,  confined  in 
a  hospital,  his  incurably  afflicted  sister  during  half  a 
dozen  years  gradually  died  abandoned  by  all  except  a 
fellow  nurse,  who  acted  the  good  Samaritan;  while  he 
was  using  every  legal  means  to  absorb  her  inheritance, 
and  later  kept  that  sister's  trunk  and  keepsakes  from 
a  brother  who  loved  her.  After  all,  honor  was  the  code 
of  the  robber  barons,  and  its  cruel  duelling  code  was 
the  inspiration  of  the  ruling  Germans  before  the  world- 
war.  How  many  dramas,  without  "honor,"  could  never 
have  been  written!  From  such  honor,  good  Lord, 
deliver  us! 

So  this  grisly  delusion  of  honor  hypnotized  me,  though 


358     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

I  clearly  realized  that  Orchid's  departure  was  my  death- 
warrant.  She  alone  knew  how  to  save  me ;  she  alone  had 
twice  done  so,  she  alone  might  do  so  again.  Although 
when  leaving  Concordia  I  had  decided  to  pass  away 
quietly,  rather  than  expose  anybody  else  to  any  risk  on 
my  behoof,  yet  the  meeting  with  Orchid  had,  in  spite 
of  myself,  filled  me  with  the  quivering  hope  which  my 
conscience  resolutely  put  aside  every  time  that  the 
tempter  whispered  between  my  ears.  Still  never  so  much 
as  now  had  I  wished  to  live,  though  no  longer  for  my- 
self, not  even  for  dear  Lilac,  who  had  already  once 
passed  through  the  valley  of  the  shadow  of  death  for 
me,  but  for  little  Lilac  junior,  born  on  the  same  day 
as  her  mother,  who  trustfully  held  out  her  arms  to  me, 
every  time  I  came  near,  and  who  would  coax  for  a 
story,  for  a  bouncing  in  the  air,  or  for  a  ride  in  the  low 
carriage.  Survival  was  demanded  even  by  conscience; 
and  yet  this  had  now  become  impossible;  for  even  if 
Lilac  had  offered  to  save  me,  she  was  frail,  and  it  would 
have  been  her  death-warrant,  as  it  had  been  Acacia's; 
and  to  a  child  a  mother  is  more  important  than  a  father. 
Sealed  was  now  my  doom;  and  yet,  now,  for  the  first 
time,  I  was  determined  to  survive. 

In  my  desperation  I  even  dared  to  think  of  Orchid. 
She  had  returned  to  California.  I  caused  inquiries  to 
be  made,  I  called  her  up  on  the  telephone,  and  I  threw 
myself  on  her  mercy.  But  what  is  bitterer  than  a  woman 
scorned?  Besides,  was  it  fair  to  her  that  she,  especially 
now  that  her  bond  to  her  husband  was  severed,  should 
continue  to  be  the  victim,  that  happiness  might  go  to 
her  rival,  who  had  never  done  anything  for  me  but 
accept  my  love,  and  enjoy  the  happiness  that  comes  but 
once  in  a  life-time,  and  present  me  with  a  pledge  of 
immortality?  With  Orchid  I  agreed  that  to  her  I  had 
been  no  more  than  a  vampire,  and  I  could  not  help  seeing 
the  justice  of  her  referring  me  to  Lilac  for  a  renewed 
lease  of  life.    No,  there  was  no  way  out,  and  I  must  lay 


THE  CONQUEST  OF  TIME  359 

down  my  life  when  now  only  it  had  acquired  any  value. 
Is  fate  not  the  supreme  ironist? 

I  resolutely  faced  the  valley  of  despair,  entered  on 
to  it  bravely  enough,  and  made  what  arrangements  were 
possible.  Entirely  I  could  not  hide  it  from  my  sweet- 
heart Lilac,  who  saw  that  I  was  mortally  wounded,  and 
in  so  poisoned  a  way  that  to  her  I  could  not  make  a 
clean  breast  of  it.  In  my  eyes  she  deciphered  my  despair, 
and  began  to  suffer  from  the  presence  of  the  unseen 
angel  of  death  that  again  hovered  about  me.  She  spoke 
timorously,  anxiously,  as  if  afraid  of  being  overheard. 

Then  one  day  she  insisted  that  I  record  my  adventures ; 
and  this  for  her  own  pleasure,  said  she,  although  I 
understood  that  she  meant  them  for  Lilac  junior,  after 
I  should  have  passed  away.  Every  day,  therefore,  I 
wrote  a  little;  and  I  would  go  to  the  green  cemetery, 
beside  that  circular  bench,  beneath  the  Dutch  bust,  and 
read  it  to  her,  then  rewrite  it  to  suit  her.  The  reason 
of  this  editing  was  that  while  I  was  interested  in  modern 
times,  she,  to  whom  these  were  common-place,  would 
insist  on  details  of  the  ancient  world,  and  of  my  own 
personality,  my  experiences  and  family  history  which 
otherwise  I  would  have  omitted. 

Then  one  day  she  wanted  to  find  out  all  about  my 
own  earlier  wife,  and  little  girl.  In  spite  of  every  effort, 
I  could  get  no  information  from  city  sources.  These 
records  must  have  been  lost  during  the  introduction  of 
municipalization,  when  a  great  deal  of  confusion  arose 
through  the  resentment  of  private  interests.  But  what 
is  all  that  to  a  woman  when  she  wants  something?  Or 
to  a  man  whose  sweetheart  is  pining  for  it?  This  was 
especially  the  case  because  I,  too,  feeling  the  time  of 
transition  drawing  nigh,  without  any  unfaithfulness  to 
Lilac  senior  and  junior,  would  have  treasured  even  the 
least  word  of  greeting,  let  alone  news  of  what  had 
become  of  them,  or  where  their  remains  were  buried. 

Of  all  my  longings,  nothing  would  have  eventuated, 


360     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

had  it  not  been  for  a  strange  dream  which  was  repeated 
thrice  in  the  same  night;  the  last  time  causing  me  to 
jump  up,  trembling,  and  weeping.  It  was  my  sweetheart 
of  the  olden  days  who,  holding  little  Bunny  in  her  arms, 
was  calling  to  me.  She  seemed  to  be  saying,  "In  God 
all  souls  can  meet;  there  are  neither  bounds  of  space 
nor  metes  of  time.  To  the  Lord  a  thousand  years  are 
but  as  one  day,  and  one  day  as  a  thousand  years.  Time 
and  space  are  the  same  vibrations  presented  to  different 
senses,  space  to  the  body,  time  to  the  soul.  Who  has 
conquered  one,  has  already  implicitly  mastered  the  other. 
Love,  which  is  creative  desire,  is  master  of  both.  As 
offspring  of  the  divinity  you  are  immortal  and  eternal; 
it  remains  for  you  only  to  throw  off  the  shackles  of 
ignorance,  the  scales  of  prejudice.  Immortal  love  is 
eternal,  for  he  can  speak  both  languages.  The  supreme 
question  is,  Lovest  thou  me?  If  so,  come,  and  in  God 
we  shall  unite.  Come  to  me,  sweetheart  of  the  olden 
days;  come,  I  call,  we  call;  you  yourself  are  calling  to 
us.  Love  is  master,  and  will  find  the  way;  only  come!" 
This  assurance  of  my  Mary's  survival  roused  in  me 
memories  and  emotions  that  I  had  long  since  believed 
dead.  Then  came  the  strange  feeling  that  somehow  I 
was  a  bigamist;  and  yet,  God  knows,  I  was  innocent 
enough.  At  any  rate,  there  was  no  choice  for  me,  since 
Lilac  insisted  on  some  news  from  the  past  .  .  .  was 
it  because  she  wanted  to  treasure  every  possible  memory 
of  my  life?  Was  she  jealous,  and  did  she  want  to  be 
assured  of  Mary's  death?  Why  not  let  sleeping  dogs 
lie?  If  it  were  not  for  unreasonable  women,  there  would 
be  neither  dramas  nor  tragedies.  But  in  spite  of  all 
reluctance  on  my  part,  love  urged  me  in  every  direction ; 
and  with  tearful  pleadings  of  Lilac  on  one  side  and  the 
insistent  mystic  calls  on  the  other,  small  wonder  that  I 
lost  my  head  and  while  basking  in  the  devoted  love  of 
one  family,  I  made  every  human  effort  to  revive  associa- 
tions with  another.     I  saw  clearly  that  I  was  heading 


THE  CONQUEST  OF  TIME  361 

for  a  tragedy  of  some  kind;  but  I  was  no  more  than  a 
bark  driven  hither  and  yon  by  destiny.  Feeling  myself 
dying,  I  was  mastered  by  an  ungovernable  impulse  to 
say  farewell  to  the  dear  ones  who  were  calling  me.  So 
I  yielded  to  the  maelstrom;  my  longing  hardened  into 
determination,  and  this  resulted  in  resolve.  This  occurred 
finally  on  the  22nd  of  July,  2029,  in  the  very  same  places 
whence,  on  July  22,  1914,  I  had  set  out  from  home  on 
an  adventure  greater  than  I  dreamed. 

As  a  sage,  wearing  that  distinguished  mantle,  I  was 
permitted  entrance  to  professional  circles;  and  without 
betraying  my  purposes  I  advised  with  many  specialists. 
I  felt  that  time  and  space  were  functions  of  each  other, 
and  that  as  space  had  been  conquered  by  the  wireless, 
so  this  must  also  involve  time.  Why  indeed  should  it 
be  possible  to  descend  along  the  stream  of  time,  and  not 
to  reascend  it?  Difference  in  time  was  caused  by  the 
revolution  of  the  earth.  Now  this  was  going  on  perpetu- 
ally, causing  the  continual  descent  of  time.  To  reascend 
the  stream  of  time,  all  that  would  be  necessary  would 
be  to  find  means  that  would  reverse  this  revolution. 

Now  this  was  no  new  matter.  Jules  Verne,  in  his 
Tour  Around  the  World  in  Eighty  Days,  had  made  the 
plot  hinge  on  the  fact  that  by  circling  the  entire  globe 
Mr.  Fogg  had  gained  one  day.  I  also  called  to  mind 
how,  when  European  newspaper  correspondents  tele- 
graphed to  America,  the  message  reached  there  five  hours 
before  it  was  sent.  A  childishly  simple  calculation 
showed  that  if  a  telegraph  message  was  made  to  circle 
the  whole  globe,  it  would  arrive  twenty-four  hours, 
or  one  calendar  day,  before  it  was  sent.  If  then  it  were 
possible  to  telegraph  twice  around  the  globe,  it  would 
arrive  two  days  before  it  was  sent,  and  so  on  in  propor- 
tion. If  a  message  circled  the  globe  365  tmes,  it  would 
arrive  one  full  year  before  it  was  despatched.  3650  times 
would  anticipate  10  years,  and  36,500  times  would  gain 
100  years;  and  as  to  reach  my  wife  of  long  ago  I  needed 


362      A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

to  go  back  110  years,  the  problem  would  be  solved  if  I 
could  send  a  message  around  the  globe  40,150  times  with- 
out stopping.  Of  course,  there  would  be  a  rectification 
to  be  made  for  the  27  leap  years,  so  that  the  needed 
circlings  would  amount  to  40,177.  This  then  was  the 
problem  before  me,  and  it  was  one  of  mere  wireless 
telegraphy.  Had  it  advanced  enough  in  modern  times  to 
make  my  effort  possible? 

I  knew  that  wireless  telegraphy  depended  on  the 
height  of  a  mast;  and  I  knew  that  in  my  days  they  had 
used  the  Paris  Eiffel  tower  for  such  a  purpose,  and 
that  from  its  apex  messages  had  been  sent  already  one- 
third  around  the  globe.  Surely  in  a  hundred  years  wire- 
less telegraphy  must  have  advanced  sufficiently  to  make 
my  plan  feasible. 

To  begin  with,  I  was  helped  by  the  presence,  in  Central 
Park,  of  a  replica  of  the  Paris  Eiffel  tower,  from  which 
the  whole  city  was  lighted  by  one  single  arc  light. 
Further,  they  were  already  used  for  wireless  to  Con- 
cordia, the  world-capital,  from  where  any  messages  for 
more  distant  places  were  relayed.  In  other  words,  I 
found  ready  to  hand  a  suitable  tower,  on  which  was 
already  unlimited  power  and  wireless  apparatus;  all  that 
I  needed,  therefore,  was  to  introduce  suitable  alterations 
and  improvements,  which  indeed  would  be  done  with 
very  little  comment,  because  of  the  isolation  of  the  tower, 
and  the  influence  of  my  sage's  robe. 

The  mechanical  problem  was  twofold.  First  to  estab- 
lish an  impulse  that  would  go  all  around  the  globe ;  then 
to  relay  it  the  requisite  number  of  times.  The  actual 
time  of  transmission,  which  was  at  the  same  rate  of 
velocity  as  the  speed  of  light,  one-seventh  of  a  second 
for  one  circumemission  was  negligible,  about  110 
minutes. 

The  first  problem  I  solved  on  the  principle  discovered 
by  the  Dutch  scientist  Onnes.  He  found  that  by  reduc- 
ing the  temperature  of  the  sending  apparatus  to  absolute 


THE  CONQUEST  OF  TIME  363 

zero,  or  273  degrees  below  usual  zero,  resistance  was 
almost  annihilated,  so  that  the  impulses  continued  in- 
definitely. Without  therefore  changing  anything  in  the 
sending  apparatus  itself,  I  had  it  enclosed  in  an  asbestos- 
lined  ice-box  so  arranged  that  the  levers  and  keys 
extended  out  of  it,  while  the  cold  could  be  graduated 
to  the  degree.  By  repeated  experiments  I  found  that 
the  temperature  needed  for  one  complete  revolution  of 
the  spark-vibration  around  our  globe  was  177  degrees 
below  zero.  Then  I  had  this  temperature  made  permanent 
and  invariable,  so  that  the  journey  around  the  world 
by  the  vibrations  was  exactly  limited  to  our  own  tower's 
receiving  apparatus. 

Then  came  the  problem  of  the  relay.  While  many 
scientists  declared  this  impossible,  by  a  swing,  I  remem- 
bered the  sympathetic  principle  according  to  which,  if 
the  force  can  be  caught  at  exactly  the  right  point  from 
which  it  was  sent,  this  is  not  diminished,  but  another 
stronger  impulse  can  be  added.  This  I  found  could  be 
effected  by  a  narrow  thin  plate  of  titanium,  a  metal 
whose  electric  properties  had  till  modern  times  been 
ignored.  On  my  success  with  this,  it  was  only  a  question 
of  installing  40,177  of  these  sheets  in  a  convenient  and 
efHcient  manner.  I  found  that  they  had  to  be  placed  in 
a  spiral  form,  so  as  that  the  returning  impulse  would 
be  naturally  led  to  the  next  one;  but  the  whole  spiral 
returned  to  the  point  of  origin,  so  that  the  whole  coil 
resembled  a  large  life-saving  belt. 

I  was  now  ready  to  think  of  the  complementary 
problem  :  how  my  signals  might  be  received.  I  bethought 
me  of  the  Sayville  and  Tuckerton  radio  towers,  which 
in  my  youth  I  had  visited;  which  would  be  nearer  than 
the  Washington  naval  radio  outfit  which  I  understood 
operated  from  the  top  of  the  Washington  monument. 
I  would  have  to  do  as  a  ship  does:  send  out  my  call 
repeatedly  until  it  was  caught  or  understood,  using  a 
tuning  finder  in  the  ranges  most  likely  to  be  understood 


364     A  ROMANCE  OF  TWO  CENTURIES 

in  those  days.  As  soon  as  I  had  any  reason  to  believe 
that  my  calls  had  been  picked  up,  I  should  have  to  send 
an  explanation  of  my  sending  apparatus.  Then  they 
could  establish  a  similar  one,  to  send  their  answers  in 
the  opposite  direction  40,177  times,  whereby  I  might  be 
able  to  receive  their  response. 

As  may  be  imagined,  all  this  consumed  quite  a  little 
time  and  effort,  especially  to  avoid  comment,  and  sus- 
picion. So  simple  were  the  means,  and  so  wonderful 
their  possibilities,  that  I  was  afraid  of  being  interrupted. 
So  litde  of  my  time  was  left,  and  so  big  the  task  before 
me!  Nor  could  I  allow  any  of  this  to  interfere  with  our 
pleasant  family  days  together  in  the  green  cemetery, 
hear  which  we  had  found  rooms.  Then  in  the  evening 
I  could  return  to  my  task  in  the  observation-tower. 

My  experiments  with  the  tuning-finder  were  slow.  I 
had  arranged  a  delicate  ammeter  which  would  reveal 
to  me  the  slightest  change  in  the  current  I  sent  out,  in 
case  any  of  it  was  absorbed  by  a  receiving  station. 
Finally  one  night  in  early  August  I  had  the  joy  of 
detecting  the  first  deflection  of  its  needle.  Then  I  changed 
my  calls  to  an  instruction  how  to  build  a  receiving 
station ;  and  this  I  had  to  do  regularly  for  a  week  before 
my  own  receiver  indicated  that  they  had  understood  me, 
and  had  erected  one. 

Then  the  way  was  clear  for  the  first  message.  So  I 
asked  to  be  put  into  communication  with  my  little  wife 
at  182  Monroe  Street,  sending  a  message  to  assure  her 
of  my  identity,  and  asking  after  her  welfare.  On  receiv- 
ing the  answer  that  she  was  well,  and  still  waiting  to 
see  me,  asking  where  I  was,  and  when  I  would  be  back, 
the  emotion  was  excessive. 

I  knew  that  no  answer  I  could  make  would  be  believed, 
although,  from  the  success  with  the  remarkable  electrical 
discovery  I  had  communicated  to  them,  and  on  which 
they  had  acted,  they  had  evidently  realized  they  were 
dealing  with  no  trifier.    So  unusual  was  the  story  I  had 


THE  CONQUEST  OF  TIME  365 

to  relate,  that  I  knew  I  was  safe  in  telling  the  plain, 
unvarnished  truth,  and  I  offered  to  relate  my  unique 
adventures.  In  return,  I  received  an  assurance  of  her 
desire  to  hear  everything.  So  they  assigned  me  three 
hours  every  night  during  which  they  would  keep  their 
receiver  working.  After  a  few  nights,  as  my  story's 
importance  for  the  development  of  humanity  began  to 
be  realized,  they  put  on  an  operator  for  the  whole  night ; 
and  so  I,  who  in  the  modern  world  was  perhaps  the  one 
single  man  best  fitted  to  understand  and  use  the  ancient 
language  and  methods,  had  an  opportunity  to  send  over 
these  notes  which  involuntarily  have  grown  quite  vol- 
uminous.   .    .    . 

I  feel  the  same  old  mortal  weakness  coming  over  me! 
This  is  the  end  .   .   .  God  have  mercy  on  my  soul !  .   .  . 


APPENDIX 


INTERNATIONAL  CALENDAR  OF  HEROES 


I. 


APRIL,  the  Month  of  WRITERS   and  DRAMATISTS. 

Represented  by   CICERO  and  SHAKESPEARE. 


1,  Cicero,  Seneca; 

2,  Demosthenes; 

3,  Lessing; 

4,  Montaigne; 

5,  Maeterlinck; 

6,  Ruskin; 

7,  Emerson. 


8,  Cervantes; 

9,  Manzoni; 

10,  Balzac; 

11,  Dickens; 

12,  Heyse; 

13,  Tolstoi; 


15,  Kalidasa; 

16,  Aeschylus, 

Corneille; 

17,  Sophocles, 

Racine; 

18,  Euripides, 

Hugo ; 

19,  Aristophanes, 

Moliere: 

20,  Ollanta; 


14.  Har't  B.  Stowe.  21,  Dante. 


22,  Flaubert; 

23,  Madach; 

24,  Ibsen; 
26,  Goldoni; 

26,  de  Vega, 

Calderon; 

27,  Wilbrandt; 

28,  Goethe. 


II.     MAY,  the  Month  of  SOLDIERS. 

Represented  by  CAESAR  and  JOAN  of  ARC 


1,  Cherdolaomer;      8,  Miltiades; 


15,  Theodoric; 


2,  Hyksos; 

3,  Rameses; 

4,  Sennacherib; 
6,  Nebuchadnez- 
zar: 

6,  Cyrus; 

7,  Alexander. 

III. 

1,  Aurungzebe; 

2,  Aristobulos; 

3,  Divitiacus; 

4,  Harpalos; 

5,  Alcibiades; 

6,  Atticus; 

7,  Maecenas. 

IV, 


9,  Leonidas; 

10,  Hannibal; 

11,  Scipio; 

12,  Belisarius; 

13,  Attila; 

14,  Charlemagne. 


22,  Richard    Coeur 
de  Lion; 

16,  Genghis  Khan;     23,  Frederick 

17,  Boadicea;  Barbarossa; 

18,  CharlesMartel;   24,  Louis  IX; 

19,  Gustavus  25,  Cortez; 
Adolphus:  26,  Peter  the  Great; 

20,  Cromwell;  27.  R.   E.   Lee; 

21,  Napoleon.  28,  Grant. 

JUNE,  the  Month  of  the  WEALTHY. 

Represented  by  CROESUS  and  MORGAN. 

8,  T.A.A.Roehss;      15,  Robert  Morris;  22,  Russell    Sage; 

16,  Alex. Hamilton;  23,  C.  W.  Field; 

17,  J.  J.  Astor;  24,  J.  W.  Mackay; 

18,  Vanderbilt;  25,  Jay    Gould; 

19,  P.  T.  Barnum;  26,  J.   I.   Hill; 

20,  A.  T.  Stewart;  27,  E.H.Harriman; 

21,  Wanamaker.  2S,  Rockefeller. 


9,  Inigo   Jones; 

10,  Cecil  Rhodes; 

11,  Fouqu6; 

12,  Madero; 

13,  Fugger; 

14,  Rothschild. 


JULY,  the  Month   of  PIONEERS. 

Represented  by  COLUMBUS  and  FRANCES  WRIGHT  d'ARUSMONT. 
1,  Xenophon;  8,  Sir   Walter  15,  Pizarro;  22,  Adm.  Perry; 

Raleigh;  16,  Ponce  de  Leon;  23,  Lewis  and 
9,  Sir    Francis        17,  Hernando _de  Clark: 


2,  Nearchus; 

Drake: 

3,  Marco  Polo;  10,  Du  Chaillu; 

4,  V'ascodeGama;  11,  Champollion; 

5,  Peter    the  12,  Livingston; 

Hermit; 

6,  FrancisXavier;  13,  Magellan; 


Soto:   24.  Pearv: 

18,  Seigneur  25,  Shackleton; 

d'Iberville;  -26,  Booker 

19,  Henry  Hudson:  Washington: 

20,  Samuel    de  27,  Miss  Willard; 
Champlain; 


I.Abraham.  li.Cook,   Tasman.  21,  Cortes.  2S,  Neal  Dow. 

V.     AUGUST,  the  Month  of  PHILOSOPHERS. 
Represented  by   PLATO  and  HYPATIA. 

8,  Thos.  Aquinas;    15,  Hegel,  Green;     22,  Condillac; 


1,  Pythagoras; 

2,  Epicurus; 

3,  Zeno; 

4,  Plutarch; 

6,  M.    Aurelius; 

6,  Lucretius; 

7,  Plotinos. 

VI 


9<Grotius;  16,  Schopenhauer;    23,  Comte; 

10,  Spinoza;  17,  Nietzsche;  24,  Bergson; 

11,  Descartes;  18,  Christ.  Krause:   25,  Darwin; 

12,  Leibnitz;  19,  Bostroem;  26,  Spencer; 

13,  Hume,  Mill;  20,  Berkeley;  27,  Karl    Pearson: 
li.  Bacon.  21,  Kant.  2S,  William  James. 


1,  Praxiteles; 
a,  Apelles; 

3,  Guido   Reni; 

4,  Correggio; 
6,  Titian; 

6,  Fra   Angelico; 
7,  Leonardo  da 

Vinci. 


SEPTEMBER,  the  Month  of  ART. 
Represented  by  RAPHAEL  and  BEETHOVEN. 


8,  Rubens; 

9,  Velasquez; 

10,  Corot; 

11,  Turner; 

12,  Muncaksy; 

13,  Hoffman; 

14,  Hunt.     Watts. 


15,  Bach; 

16,  Mozart; 

17,  Mendelssohn; 

18,  Schubert; 

19,  Chopin; 

20,  Brahms; 

21,  Wagner. 


22,  Verdi; 

23,  Gounod: 

24,  Liszt; 

26,  Rubinstein; 
2«,  Grieg; 
87,  Tchaikowsky; 
28,  Macdowell. 


INTERNATIONAL  CALENDAR  OF  HEROES 
VII.    OCTOBER,  the  Month  of  INVENTORS. 

Represented  by  ROGER  BACON  and  Mme.  CURIE. 

I.Archimedes;  8,  Gutenberg;  15,  Morse;  22,  Edison; 

2,  Daedalus;  9,  Hatch,  Fulton;  16,  Reis,    Bell;  23,  The  Lumieres; 

3,  Daguerre;  10,  Watt;  17,  McCormick;  24,  Mergenthaler; 

4,  Tacquard;  11,  Palissy;  18,  Eads;  25,  Holland; 

5,  Vaucanson;  12,  Whitney;  19,  Metchnikoff;  36,  Zeppelin; 

6,  Montgolfier;  13,  Goodyear;  20,  Burbank;  87,  The    Wrights; 

7,  Fahrenheit.  li,  Elias  Howe.  21,  Horace  Wells.    28,  Marconi. 

VIII.    NOVEMBER,  the  Month  of  PHILANTHROPISTS. 

and  TEACHERS. 

Represented  by  GEORGE  MUELLER  and  SOCR.\TES. 

1,  W.L.Garrison;      8,  F.  Nightingale;   15,  Diogenes;  22,  Cotton  Mather; 

8,  Geo.    Peabody;     9,  Dorothea  Dix;     16,  Origen;  23,  Tim.    Dwight; 
3,7.  Oglethorpe;    10,  Jane    Addams;    17,  Jerome;                 24,  James  McCosh; 

4,  Montefiore;  11,  Harvard;  18,  Abfelard;  25,  Noah  Porter; 

5,  F.     Crittenton;  12,  Henry   Bergh;  19,  Petrarch;  26,  Horace   Mann; 

6,  Mrs.   Fry;  13,  Peter   Cooper:  20,  Comenius;  27,  Mark  Hopkins; 

7,  St.  Elisabeth.  li,  Carnegie.  21,  ThomasArnold.  28.  Chas.  IV.  Eliot. 

IX.     DECEMBER,  the  Month  of  EPICS  and  POETS. 

Represented   by  HOMER   and   JELULADIN. 

1,  Ramayana;  8,  Lusiad;  115,  Vedic   Hymns;   22,  Compoamor; 

2,  Shah    Nameh;      9,  Roland;  16,  Pentaur;  23,  Heine; 

5,  Bidasari;  10,  Jerusalem  17,  Pindar;  24,  Hugo; 

Delivered; 

4,  TheDionysiaca;  11,  Stagnelius's  18,  Horace;  25,  Tegner; 

Blenda;  19,  Japanese 

6,  The    Eddas;         12,  Arany's  Toldi;  Poems;   26,  Carducci; 

6,  The    Kalevala;    13,  Mistral's  20,  Nahuatl  27,  Tennyson; 

Mirfiio;  Hymns; 

7,  Virgil's  A  eneid.   li,  Milton.Vondel.  21,  The  Psalms.       28,  Longfellow, 

X.    JANUARY,  the  Month  of  STATESMEN. 
Represented  by  MOSES  and  QUEEN  ELIZABETH. 
I.Confucius;  8,  Haroun  al  15,  Richelieu;  22,  Diaz; 

Raschid; 
S.Manu;  9,  Justinian;  16.  Kossuth;  23,  Washington; 

3,  Sargon;  10,  Charles  V;  17,  Kosciusco;  24,  Franklin; 

4,  Menes;  11,  Philip   II;  18,  Savanarola;         S5,  Jefferson; 

5,  Solon;  12,  Louis   XIV;         19,  Francia;  26,  JeffersonDavis; 

6,  Lycurgus;  13,  Henry    VIII;     20,  Simon  Bolivar;  27,  Pres.  Wilson; 

7,  Pericles.  14,  Innocent   III.     21,  Garibaldi.  28,  Lincoln. 

XL    FEBRUARY,  the  Month  of  RELIGIOUS  LEADERS. 

Represented   by  JESUS  and   PAUL. 

l.Mencius;  8,  St.  Teresa;  15,  St.   Augustine;  22,  Swedenborg; 

2,  Gautama;  9,  Mme.   Guyon;      16,  St.    Francis;  23,  Fox,    Penn; 

3,  Zoroaster;  10,  Ffin^lon;  17,  St.  Bernard;  24,  Ann    Lee; 

4,  Mahomet;  11,  Boehme;  18,  Lovola;  25,  Ballington 

5,  Isaiah;  12,  Theologia  19,  Hfiloise;  Booth; 

Germanica;  26,  Mrs.  Eddy; 

6,  Tamehameha;      13,  Tauler:  20,  Calvin;  27,  Felix  Adler; 
7.Numa.                   li,Thos. A' Kempis.  21,  Luther.  28,  Wesley. 

XII.     MARCH,  the  Month  of  SCIENTISTS. 

Represented  by   COPERNICUS    and   HUMBOLDT. 

1,  Euclid;  8,  Volta.Ampere:    15.  Helmholtz:  22,  Huxlev; 

2,  Tycho  Brake;  9,  Cuvier;  16,  Asa  Gray;  23,  Averroes; 

3,  Newton;  10,  Lavoisier;  17,  Audubon;  24,  Hippocrates; 

4,  Herschel;  11,  Harvey;  18,  Lyell;  25,Jenner; 

5,  Laplace;  12,  Boerhave;  19,  Agassiz;  26,  Koch; 

6,  Kepler;  13,  Leeuwenhoeck;   20,  Darwin;  27,  Coke- 

7,  Galileo.  li,  Linneus.  21,  Oliver  Lodge.  28,  Blackstone. 

INTERCALARY  DAYS,  of  WOMEN. 

1,  Aspasia;  2,  Cornelia;  3,  Monica;  4,  Mme  de   Stael;   5,  Harriet  Martineau; 
6,  Margaret  Fuller  Ossoli. 


If  You  Enjoy  Inspiring  Literature,  read 

Famous     Hymns    to    the    Universal    Divinity 

The   Spiritual   Message   of   Literature 

Sayonara,   or   the  Testing  of  the   Poet 

Of  the  Presence  of  Cjod 

Friendship,    Human    and    Divine 

Perronik,    the    Simple-hearted 

A    Romance  of  Two   Centuries 

If  You  are  a  Teacher,  You  need 

Teachers'   Problems,   and   How  to  Solve  Them 

Stories  for  Young  Folks 

Dutch  Origins  in  American  Civilization 

Progressive    Complete    Education. 

The    Spiritual    Message    of    Literature 

If  Interested  in  Children,  procure 

Stories   for  Young   Folks 
Perronik,    the    Simple-hearted 
The    Greek    Pilgrim's    Progress 

If  You  are  a  Practical  Mystic  you  want 

Of  Communion  with  God 

Of  the  Presence  of  God 

Why    You    Want    to    Become   a   Churchman. 

Ladder    of    God,    and    other    Sermons. 

Friendship,    Human    and    Divine 

Prayer,    Answers,    Proofs,    Limitations     Objections 

Plutarch's    Genius    of    Socrates 

Aspirations,   Prayers   and    Visions 

If  Seeking  Sources  of  Religion,  you  must  have 

Plotinos,   Complete   Works 
Numenius,    Father    of    Neo-Platonism 
The   Message  of   Philo   Judaeus 
Zoroaster's  Gathas,  Text  and  Studies 

The  Message  of  the  Master 

How  the  Master  Saved  the  World 

If  Seeking  Universal  Elements  of  Religion  buy 

The  Message  of  Apollonius  of  Tyana 

The   Life  of   Zoroaster   (The   Gathic   Hymns) 

The    Philosophy    of   Plotinos 

The   Spiritual   Message  of   Literature 

Of  the  Presence  of  God 

Studies    in    Comparative    Religion 

Famous  Hymns  to  the  Universal  Divinity 

If  a  Student  of  the  Wisdom  Religion,  get 

The  Reuniting  Pilgrimage 
The  Philosophy  of  Plotinos 
The  Spiritual  Message  of  Literature 


Would  you  like  to  have  access  to  the  source 
of  inspiration  of  Emerson,  St.  Augustine, 
Spinoza,  Bergson,  Henry  More,  and  most  of 
the  mystics?   Then  study 

Complete  Works  of  PLOTINOS 

Who  gathered  all  that  was  valuable  in  Greek 
thought,    and    prepared     the     foundation     for 

Christian  philosophy, 
For  the  first  time  rendered  into  modern  English 

By  Kenneth  Sylvan  Guthrie 

A.M.,  Harvard,  Sewanee;   Ph.D.,  Columbia.Tulane;   M.D.,  Phila. ; 
Prof,   in   Extension,   University  of  the    South,   Sewanee ; 

The  translation  is  printed  not  in  the  old  con- 
fused Porphyrian  grouping,  but  in  the  chrono- 
logical order,  revealing  in  Plotinos's  career  a 
development  which  explains  his  many  apparent 
contradictions. 

The  translation  is  followed  by  original 
Studies  in  Plotinic  Sources,  Development,  and 
Influence,  specially  on  the  growth  of  Christian 
Theology,  and  tracing  his  sources  through 
Numenius  to  Platonism. 

There  is  an  exhaustive  Concordance  to  every 
material  point  in  Plotinos's  works. 
APPRECIATIONS 

The  January  1919  Philosophical  Review,  Cornell,  devoted 
to   this   work   two    full   pages   of   extended    review. 

The  foremost  American  Platonist.  Thos.  M.  Johnson,  says: 
"Thank  you  for  them.  1  heartily  hope  that  you  and  yours 
are  well,  and  that  numerous  subscriptions  for  the  work  are 
flowing  in.  Many  thanks  for  the  proofs,  which  I  have  ex- 
amined with  great  interest.  It  seems  to  me  that  you  have 
drawn  out  the  sense  of  the  original  with  much  skill  and 
penetration.  1  consider  that  this  translation  will  be  the  most 
valual>le  and  noteworthy  intellectual  achievement  of  this  age.  ' 

Purchased  by  the   foremost  Universities   and  Seminaries. 

Price,  net,  cloth,  4  volumes,  post  paid,  $12.00 ; 
or  £2,  8  sh. 


THE  PHILOSOPHY  OF  PLOTINOS 

By  Kenneth  Sylvan  Guthrie 

A.M.,  Harvard,  Sewanee  ;    Ph.D.,  Columbia,  Tulane  ;  M.D.,  Phila. ; 
Prof,   in   Extension,   University  of  the   South,   Sewanee ; 

This  is  a  lucid,  scholarly  systematization  of 
the  views  of  Plotinos,  giving  translation  of  im- 
portant and  useful  passages.  It  is  preceded  by 
a  careful  indication  and  exposition  of  his  for- 
mative influences :  Platonism,  Aristotelianism, 
and  Emanationism,  and  a  full  biography  dealing 
with  his  supposed  obligations  to  Christianity. 
Accurate  references  are  given  for  every  state- 
ment and  quotation.  The  exposition  of,  and 
references  on  Hermetic  philosophy  are  by 
themselves  worth  the  price  of  the  book. 

The  outline  is  followed  by  the  text  of  some 
of  the  most  attractive  passages,  with  transla- 
tion. 

Dr.  Harris,  U.  S.  Commissioner  of  Education,  has  written 
about  it  in  the  highest  terms.  Dr.  Paul  Carus,  Editor  of  the 
Open  Court,  devoted  half  a  page  of  the  July,  1897,  issue  to  an 
appreciative  and  commendatory  review  of  it.  Among  the  many 
other  strong  commendations   of  the  work  are  the  following: 

From  G.  R.  S.  Mead,  Editor  The  Theosophical  Review, 
London:  It  may  be  stated,  on  the  basis  of  a  fairly  wide 
knowledge  of  the  subject  that  the  summary  of  our  anonymous 
author  is  the  clearest  and  most  intelligent  which  has  as  yet 
appeared.  Ihe  writer  bases  himself  upon  the  original  text,  and 
his  happy  phrasing  of  Platonic  terms  and  his  deep  sympathy 
with  Platonic  thought  proclaim  the  presence  of  a  capable 
translator   of   Plotinos   amongst   us     .     .     . 

Those  who  desire  to  enter  into  the  Plotinian  precincts  of  the 
temple  of  Greek  philosophy  by  the  most  expeditious  path 
cannot  do  better  than  take  this  little  pamphlet  for  their  guide; 
it  is  of  course  not  perfect,  but  it  is  undeniably  the  best  which 
has  yet  appeared.  We  have  recommended  the  T.  _P.  S.  to  pro- 
cure a  supply  of  this  pamphlet,  for  to  our  Platonic  friends  and 
colleagues   we   say   not    only   you   should,    but   you   must   read   it. 

Human  Brotherhood,  November,  1897,  in  a  very  extended 
and  most  commendatory  review,  says:  Too  great  praise  could 
hardly  be  bestowed  upon  this  scholarly  contribution  to  Platonic 
literature. 

Price,  net,  cloth,  post  paid,  $1.40;  or  5  sh.,  6  d. 


NUMENIUS  OF  APAMEA 

The  Father  of  Neo-Platonism 

Works,  Biography,  Message,  Sources  and 

Influence. 

By  Kenneth  Sylvan  Guthrie 

A.M.,  Harvard,  Sewanee  ;    Ph.D.,  Columbia, Tulane  ;    M.D.,  Phila. ; 
Prof,   in   Extension,   University   of  the    South,    Sewanee ; 

For  the  first  time  in  any  modern  language, 
the  writer  here  resurrects  Numenius  from  the 
oblivion  of  1700  years,  in  a  definitive  edition, 
giving  the  Greek  text,  and  a  translation. 

CONTENTS  OF  THE  STUDIES: 
1.  How  was  Numenius  the  Father  of  Neoplaton- 
ism?  2.  His  Life,  and  significance  as  philosopher, 
poet,  humorist,  man  of  the  world,  and  revealer  of 
mysteries.  3.  His  teachings  about  Matter.  4.  The 
World  as  a  divine  Harmony.  5.  The  supreme  Di- 
vinity. 6.  The  subordinate  Divinity.  7.  The 
World-divinities.  8.  Theology.  9.  Psychology  and 
Ethics.  10.  Purpose  of  Life:  the  threefold  Salva- 
tion. 11.  The  Greek  Sources  of  Numenius.  12. 
Graeco-Egyptian  Sources.  13.  Egyptian  Sources.  14. 
Numenius  as  Represented  by  Plotinos.  15.  Criticism 
of  Numenius.  16.  Progress  of  Platonism;  or  Platon- 
ism  and  Neoplatonism.     17.  Message   of  Numenius. 

APPRECIATIONS 

Dr.  Paul  Carus,  in  the  Monist,  1918,  wrote:  "Dr.  Guthrie, 
teacher,  clergyman,  professor,  has  brought  to  the  compilation 
of  this  little  editorial  gem,  long  experience,  much  erudition, 
giving  us  in  handy  compact  form  a  valuable  contribution 
to  an  interesting  phase  in  the  history  of  the  transition  from 
Greek   philosophy   to    Christian   teachings." 

Dr.  Stanley  Hall,  in  the  Pedagogical  Seminary.  Worcester, 
Mass.,    March    1918,    wrote:       "This    is    a    scholarly    work." 

Prof.  T.  P.  Stafford,  of  Kansas  City  Baptist  Seminary, 
writes:  "You  have  done  a  fine  piece  of  work;  I  have  enjoyed 
reading  it." 

Prof.  W.  Romaine  Newbold,  of  the  University  of  Pennsyl- 
vania, writes,  "You  are  one  of  the  few  Americans  competeiit 
to  do  good  work  in  this  field.  Your  study  of  Numenius's 
system  at  the  end  of  the  book  seems  to  me  very  good  indeed." 

Price,  net,  cloth,  post  paid,  $1.40;  or  5  sh.,  6  d. 


MESSAGE  OF  PHILO  JUDAEUS 
The  Mystic  of  Alexandria 

By  Kenneth  Sylvan  Guthrie 

A.M.,  Harvard,  Sewanee;    Ph.D.,  Columbia.Tulane ;   M.D.,  Phila. ; 
Prof,   in   Extension,   University  of  the   South,   Sewanee ; 

Philo  Judaeus  is  important  because  he  is  the 
fountain-head  not  only  of  Neo-Platonism,  but 
also  of  that  Graeco-Egyptian  theology  which 
gradually  conquered  the  civilized  world,  and 
which  cannot  be  understood  without  him. 

Next  to  Plato,  Philo  Judaeus  is  the  author 
whose  discursive  and  incidental  manner  of 
treating  the  deep  truths  of  life  makes  the  mod- 
ern searcher  after  facts,  who  has  no  time  to 
waste,  most  despair.  Here  however  Philo's 
teachings  are  so  thoroughly  systematized  that 
a  single  glance  will  explain  to  even  the  casual 
reader  just  what  and  where  Philo  speaks  of 

1.  His  Life  and  Works;  2.  Allegoric  Interpreta- 
tion and  Mysteries;  3.  God;  4.  Our  World;  S. 
Human  psychology  and  ethics;  6.  Church  and 
Sacraments;  7.  The  Eucharist;  8,  Spirit  and  In- 
spiration; 9.  Eschatology;  10.  Salvation;  11.  Who 
were  the  Therapeuts? 

APPRECIATIONS 

"Congratulations  on  your  splendid  analysis  of  Philo  I"  tzjt 
Albert  J.  Edmunds,  author  of  "Buddhist  and  Christian  Gospels." 

It  is  highly  recommended  by  Prof.  Nathanael  Schmidt  of 
Cornell  University:  I  have  recently  gone  through  with  some 
care  The  Message  of  Philo  Judaeus  which  you  were  good 
enough  to  send  me.  It  seems  to  me  that  you  have  rendered 
a  real  service  to  many  by  this  classified  outline  of  Philo's  utter- 
ances on  important  subjects.  The  chapter  on  the  Therapeuti 
also  appears  to  me  very  useful.  The  idea  suggested  on  page 
36  that  Philo's  Therapeuts  may  be  a  sort  of  Utopia,  like  Plato's 
Republic,   is   well    worth   considering. 

Price,  net,  cloth,  post  paid,  $1.40,  or  5s.  6d. 


THE  LIFE  OF  ZOROASTER 

In  the  Words  of  His  own  Hymns,  the  Gathas 

By  Kenneth  Sylvan  Guthrie 

A.M.,  Harvard,  Sewanee  ;   Ph.D.,  Columbia.Tulane  ;   M.D.,  Phila.; 
Prof,  in   Extension,  University  of  the   South,   Sewanee; 

This  is  an  ordered  edition  of  the  Gathas,  or 
Hymns  of  Zoroaster,  the  sacred  writings  of 
the  Parsis.  They  are  printed  according  to 
both  documents,  the  Priestly  and  the  Per- 
sonal, on  opposite  pages.  This  constitutes  a 
discovery  in  Pligher  Criticism. 

Here  is  a  book  you  will  enjoy  and  treasure, 
one  of  the  well-springs  of  ethnic  religion,  not 
otherwise  accessible. 

This  is  one  of  the  great  scriptures  of  the  world,  but  hai 
until  this  present  _  translation  been  practically  inaccessible. 
There  is  a  translation  by  an  Englishman,  but  it  is  not  only 
more  puzzling  than  the  original,  but  it  makes  Zoroaster  speak 
like  an  Anglican  theologian,  instead  of  the  pre-historic  bard 
who  was  conducting  a  crusade  against  nomadicism,  and  for 
a  cow-herding  civilization.  Besides,  the  acknowledged  authori- 
ties on  the  subject  do  not  hesitate  to  acknowledge  openly  that 
It  is  to  their  financial  interest  to  keep  the  text  from  the  public. 
Anyone  who  desires  to  question  this  easily  understood  trans- 
ition can  purchase  the  author's  larger  book  which  contains 
the  full  transliterated  text,  dictionary,  grammar,  criticism,  out- 
lines, &nd  tables  of  all  available  kindred  information. 

Harrold  N.  Roberts  writes:  "What  a  privilege  it  is,  in  thii 
handy  volume,  in  a  parallel  arrangement,  free  from  all  con- 
fusions, contradictions  and  insertions,  to  follow,  in  good  print, 
the  sincere  heart-searchings  of  this  ancient  prophet,  as  sublime 
as  Isaiah,  as  sincere  as  St.  Paul,  as  honest  as  St.  Thomas. 
Every  one  of  the  doubts  with  which  he  wrestled  have  agitated 
our  modern  breast;  and  his  willingness  to  learn  from  every 
school  of  thought  in  turn,  the  cults  of  Justice,  of  Spiritual 
Grace,  and  of  Knowledge,  fitted  him  to  unite  these  various 
aspects  of  the  divinity  into  one  hierarchy  of  archangelic  at- 
tendants on  the  Supreme.  Thus  he  becomes  the  mediator,  and 
by  marriage  introduces  peace.  At  the  theophany  of  Justice 
we  see  it  also.  From  beginning  to  end  there  is  no  place 
where  these  scriptures  can  be  laid  down.  What  a  pity  that 
not  till  now  has  it  been  possible  to  enjoy  and  use  this  sacred 
writing,  till  now  locked  up  in  difficult  languages,  expensive 
editions,  and  stilted  language!  The  publication  of  this  book 
marks  an  era  in  religious  thought,  and  no  Theological  Sem- 
inary nor  clergyman  can  plead  the  excuse  of  ignorance,  unless 
it   be   invincible." 

Price,  net,  cloth,  post  paid,  $1.15;  or  4  sh.,  6  d. 


ZOROASTER'S  GATHAS, 
Text  and  Studies 

By  Kenneth  Sylvan  Guthrie 

A.M.,  Harvard,  Sewanee ;   Ph.D.,  Columbia.Tulane;   M.D.,  Phila. ; 
Prof,   in   Extension,   University  of  the    South,   Sewanee; 

This  volume  contains  everything  necessary 
for  a  clear  comprehension  of  this  scripture  by 
not  only  the  specialist,  but  by  any  untrained 
intelligent  person.     It  offers 

The  Hymns  of  Zoroaster, 
Translated  Text,  Translation,  Dictionary  and  Gram- 
mar. 
All  the  facts  of  the  situation  are  here  put  into  the 
Reader's  hands,  enabling  him  to  check  up  the  ex- 
travagances of  what  till  now  have  passed  as  trans- 
lations. Till  now  the  chief  scholars  have  purposely 
hindered  transliterations,  so  as  to  keep  the  whole 
matter  in  their  own  hands. 

Life  of  Zoroaster  in  Words  of  His  Hymns. 
Contrasting  on  opposite  pages  the  Two  Docu- 
ments. This  is  the  result  of  a  discovery  as  epoch- 
making  in  this  field,  as  was  that  of  the  Elohist  and 
Jehovistic  Documents  in  the  Pentateuch,  and  result- 
ed from  application  of  the  now  well-proven  methods 
of  the   Biblical   Higher   Criticism. 

Significance  of  Zoroaster's  Teachings, 
explaining  the  growth  of  the  Archangelic  Pantheon, 
of  the  various  Cults,  of  Zoroaster's  successive  edu- 
cation therein,  and  of  his  significance  as  Leader  of 
the  Thought-Religion  of  the  Aryan  Race.  This  is 
followed  by 
Zoroastrian  Phrases  Similar  to  New  Testament 

Expressions. 
It  contains  also   clear  English   Outlines  of  every 
Hymn,  with  all  necessary  Introductory  Chronologi- 
cal Tables,  and  Summaries. 

Price,  net,  cloth,  post  paid,  $5;  or  20  sh. 

A  CONCORDANCE  TO  THE  GATHAS, 

enabling  you  to  consult  Zoroaster  on  every  point,  is 

ready   for   publication,   whenever   sufficient   advance 

subscriptions  are  received.    Price,  $1.25  or  5  sh. 


THE  SPIRITUAL  MESSAGE  OF 

LITERATURE 
A  Manual  of  Comparative  Literature 

By  Kenneth  Sylvan  Guthrie 

A  fascinating  Guide  to  Reading  for  every 

Reader,  Suitable  for  Literary  Clubs,  Institutes. 

It  forms  an  unusually  liberal  education  in  Literature. 

The  Racial  Contributions  to  the  World's  Ideals 

The  Great  Legends  of  the  World 

The    Great    World- Dramas    of    Salvation 

With  Study-outlines   and  Important  Book-lists. 

APPRECIATIONS 

NEW  YORK  TIMES  REVIEW  OF  BOOKS  says:  The 
author  apparently  has  aimed  to  make  it  another  one  of 
those  links,  constantly  growing  more  numerous,  which  knit 
the  school  more  closely  to  outside  life  ....  Teachers 
■who  wish  to  get  away  from  the  microscopic  method  of 
dealing  with  literature,   will  find  in  it  much  to  help  them. 

The  Springfield  Republican  says:  An  unusual  and  inter- 
esting book,  which  appears  to  be  the  result  of  a  great 
amount  of  labor  and  of  many  years  of  thought.  The  author 
endeavors  to  distill  from  the  great  literary  masterpieces  of 
all  languages  and  peoples  their  peculiar  and  individual 
quality  of  inspiration.  In  developing  this  plan  the  author 
presents  brief  and  well- condensed  synopses  of  a  considerable 
number  of  recognized  master-pieces.  They  are  well  and 
appropriately  made.  From  the  outline  of  what  the  book 
aims  to  present,  it  might  be  suspected  of  being  a  volume 
of  interminable  length,  but  in  reality  it  contains  but  300 
comparatively  short  pages  It  is  an  interesting,  and  in 
many  ways  an  inspiring   study. 

The  Living  Church,  Chicago,  111.,  says:  A  work  of  amazing 
erudition  and  labor,  on  the  evolution  of  humanity's  aspira- 
tions ...  It  would  take  too  much  space  even  to  summarize 
the  specific  discussions  of  the  separate  national  sources  of 
the  "racial  prophetic  elements,'  and  the  "lyrical  prophetic' 
are  from  a  hundred  authors.  He  points  out  in  what  mani- 
fold ways  human  salvation  is  taught  by  international  writings. 

Normal  Instructor  and  Primary  Plans  says:  The  book  is 
thoroughly  wholesome  and  decidedly  uplifting,  valuable  to 
every  student  for  his  study,  and  every  scholar  for  reference. 
It  is  a  splendid  gift-book  for  literary  people  and  book-lovers. 

Recommended    by    Vice-Chancellor    Hall,    of    Sewanee. 

Dr.  Matthew  Woods,  of  Philadelphia,  writes  of  it :  I  have 
carefully  gone  over  the  manuscript  of  Dr.  Guthrie's  exceedingly 
interesting  book,  and  have  found  in  it,  combined  with  much 
original  thought,  the  learning  of  a  studious  life.  It  cannot 
fail    to    make    a    profound    impression. 

Price,  net,  cloth,  post  paid,  $1.65,  or  6s.  6d, 


JUST  THE  BOOK  YOU  WANT 

To  Prepare  You  for  the  Conference. 

To  Prepare  You  for  the  Examination. 

To  Strengthen  Your  Grip  on  Classes. 

TEACHERS'  PROBLEMS 

And  How  to  Solve  Them 

A  Hand-Book  of  Educational  History  and 

Practice. 

By  Kenneth  Sylvan  Guthrie 

A.M.,  Harvard,  Sewanee;   Ph.D.,  Columbia.Tulane  ;   M.D.,  Phila. ; 
Prof,   in   Extension,   University  of  the   South,   Sewanee ; 

It  summarizes  all  that  the  greatest  thinkers 
taught  about  Imitation,  Habit,  Specializa- 
tion, Interest,  Self-activity,  Individuality, 
Discipline,  Method,  the  Teacher's  Personality. 
It  gives  70  famous  Definitions  of  Education, 
A  Catalogue  of  Character-traits  for  various 
Ages  and  according  to  12  Standard  Historical 
Types,  enabling  the  Teacher  to  adapt  her 
Method  to  her  Pupils ;  it  gives  a  Year's  Cal- 
endar of  Famous  Men,  and  a  20  vi^eeks'  Story 
Course,  in  Practical  Ethics. 

Professor  H.  H.  Home,  New  York  University,  said:  "You 
have  gotten  ahead  of  me  in  this  book,  for  I  had  planned  just 
such  a  practical  condensation  of  the  teaching  of  all  ages  on 
each  important  topic.  I  congratulate  you  on  having  carried 
out   what    I    had    planned." 

Superintendent  Oliver  X.  Fremont  wrote:  "Send  me  two 
dozen  copies,  one  for  each  of  the  teachers  at  a  conference  I 
am  soon  to  hold,  so  that  our  discussions  may  be  founded  on 
the  wisest  thought  of  the  ages,  on  every  topic.  With  this 
book  my  teachers  are  twice  as  valuable  as  before." 
Miriam  Riccarda  Smythe,  Principal,  wrote:  "I  am  specially 
interested  in  the  chapter  suggesting  how  to  modify  the  teach- 
ing methods  to  the  nature  of  the  child.  The  calendar  of 
famous  men  for  every  day  has  been  very  useful  in  finding 
instructive  topics  for  the  daily  assemblies." 
A  Western  Teacher  writes :  "Whenever  my  classes  threaten 
trouble  I  study  the  book,  and  in  the  clear,  easilv  fr>nnd.  col- 
lected   wisdom    of    the    ages    I     never    fail     to    find    help." 

Price,  net,  cloth,  post  paid,  $1.15;  or  4  sh.,  6  d. 


Progressive  Complete  Education 
A  Development  of  Progressive  Morality 

By  Kenneth  Sylvan  Guthrie 

A.M.,  Harvard,  Sewanee  ;    Ph.D.,  Columbia, Tulane  ;   M.D.,  Phila. ; 
Prof,   in   Extension,   University  of  the    South,   Sewanee ; 

It  discusses  present-day  problems  from  the 
educational  standpoint,  and  is  the  first  com- 
plete application  of  the  genetic  principle  to 
psychology,  ethics,  education,  marriage,  love, 
and  sociology. 

It  is  a  book  of  ideals  in  planning  and  re- 
constructing one's  career  from  the  cradle  to 
the  grave. 

I.     Genetic  Psychology 
Psychology    as   Triune:      Consciousness,    the    total    Individuality, 
and  Biographic  Development. 

II.     Progressive  Morality 
A   new    genetic    solution    of   the    age-long   controversy   between 
the  rival   Theories  of   Ethics. 

III.  Biographic    Education 

At  Genetic  Psychology  forces  Ethics  to  become  Genetic,  so  this 
involves  Continuous  Education,  which  culminates  in  Marriage, 
Child-Training  and  Bereavement. 

IV.  Educational    Marriage 

Present  Matrimonial  Evils. — Elimination  of  Organized  Ignor- 
ance.— Elimination  of  Celibacy. — Educational  Divorce. — Tlie 
Family  as  a  Republic,  no  longer  a  Tyranny. — Matrimonial 
Suggestions. 

v.     Educational    Love 
Indissolubility  of   Educational   Marriage. — The  Self-Surrender  of 
Uniting  Love. — The  Dramatic  Roles  of  Disciplinary  Love. — The 
Assimilation    of    Consoling    Love. 

VI.     Sociologic  Developments 
Inductive     and     Deductive     Educationalization     of     Sociology. — 
Levels  of  Sociologic   Forms. — The   Resultant  Form. — The  Amer- 
ican  Republic. — Religion   to   Be    Educationalized. — The   Divinity 
Also   Progressive. — The   Genetic   Method   Elsewhere. 

APPRECIATIONS 
Prof.  H.  H.  Home  of  New  York  University  writes: 
"You   seem   to  have   hold   of  a  very  constructive 

idea." 

Price,  net,  cloth,  post  paid,  $1.15;  or  4  sh.,  6  d. 


PERRONIK 

the  Simple-Hearted 

By  Kenneth  Sylvan  Guthrie, 

A.M.,  Harvard,  Sew  anee;    Ph.D.,  Columbia,  Tulane;    M.D.,  Phila. ; 

Prof,  in  Extension,  University  of  the  South,  Sewanee; 

All  Saints'  Church,  New  York. 

This  legend  is,  by  the  experts,  considered  to 
be  one  of  the  chief  bases  of  the  other  Holy 
Grail  legends,  for  the  reason  that  it  claims  a 
definite  location,  the  castle  of  Kerglas,  near 
Vannes.  After  years  of  effort,  Dr.  Guthrie 
succeeded  in  locating  it,  made  some  sketches, 
and  has  reproduced  one  of  them  as  frontispiece. 

The  story  is  of  absorbing  interest  to  all.  The 
more  mature  minds  are  charmed  and  refreshed  by  its 
contact  with  nature,  while  the  interest  of  the  young 
is  held  by  the  skill  of  the  telling  of  the  story.  It 
has  never  failed  to  arouse  and  hold  the  interest  of 
groups  of  people. 

It  is  simply,  but  attractively  printed  and  bound, 
and  forms  a  handsome  presentation  booklet,  suit- 
able as  gift  for  birthdays  or  holiday  seasons. 

APPRECIATIONS 
Prof.  L,  A-  Quivey,  of  Salt  Lake  University,  wrote,  "1  con- 
sider this  a  very  beautiful  tale;    I   shall  insist  upon  each  of 
my  pupils  in  the  Arthurian  course  ovirning  a  copy  of  it." 

"It  is  a  most  charming  tale  related  in  a  fascinating  way. 
The  style  is  so  breezy  and  original  that  it  is  calculated  to 
charm  both  old  and  young.  Every  child  should  be  entitled 
to  peruse  this  beautiful  legend."  —  Florence  van  der  Veer- 
Quick,  London. 

"I  am  very  glad  to  hear  that  you  are  to  publish  the  etory 
of  Perronik;  for  due  to  its  action  and  veiled  moral  it  will 
be  enjoyed  by  both  young  and  old.  We  need  more  of  such 
charming  old  legends  for  readers  to-day." — Jane  Haven,  High 
School  Principal. 

Price,  net,  cloth,  post  paid,  65c. ;  or  2  sh.,  6  d. 


OF  COMMUNION  WITH  GOD 

By  Kenneth  Sylvan  Guthrie 

A.M.,  Harvard,  Sewanee;   Ph.D.,  Columbia.Tulane ;   M.D.,  PhiU.; 

Prof,  in  Extension,  University  of  the   South,  Sewanee; 

All  Saints'   Church,  New  York. 

Four  books :  Of  Love,  of  the  Presence  o£ 
God ;  Of  Adoration ;  Of  Peace. 

It  was  the  aim  of  the  Author  to  write  a  book 
of  Devotion,  freed  from  the  Mystic  Incoherence 
of  the  Theologia  Germanica,  and  from  the  re- 
pulsive, Bloody  Dogmatism  of  other  books  that 
have  frightened  so  many  souls  away  from 
personal  communion  with  God. 

APPRECIATIONS 

How  far  this  attemot  has  succeeded  the  followme  wordl 
tell: 

The  Literary  World:  Is  not  unworthy  to  be  laid  alongside 
of  Gold  Dust  and  the  Imitation  as  food  for  the  goul  in  it* 
most  sacred  hours.  The  book,  though  small  and  easily  to  be 
overlooked,  is  one  of  the  striking  and  remarkable  books  of  its 
class,   the    like    of    which    seldom    appears. 

Dr.  Miel,  Ed.  L'Avenir:  I  have  read  it  with  as  much  in- 
terest as  edification  and  cannot  but  congratulate  you  for  hav- 
ing thought,  felt  and  written  it.  All  the  characteristics  of  the 
truly  Christian  Life  are  there  presented  in  an  attractive  and 
impressive  manner.  1  hough  short  it  is  complete.  The  spirit  ol 
Christ  breathes  throughout  all  its  lines.  It  should  become  the 
Vade  Mecum  of  every   Christian. 

The  Living  Church:  A  valuable  little  book  to  promote  devout 
meditation. 

Southern  Churchman:  Very  good,  with  wiae  tnd  excellent 
thought. 

Bishop  Gailor,  of  Tenn. :  Is  admirable.  I  like  it  very  muck, 
and  believe   it   will   be   helpful   to   all    devout   people. 

The  Congregationalist:  It  expresses  tender  spiritual  tend- 
tiveness.  ...  It  will  be  found  helpful  by  many,  and  it 
prettily  printed. 

Price,  net,  cloth,  post  paid,  65c. ;  or  2  sh.,  6  d. 

Paper  edition,   25  cents,  or  Ish.    Reduction  in 

quantities. 


THE  PLATONIST 

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who,  between  1880  and  1890  issued  the  PLATONIST  in 
the  most  brilliant  manner,  so  that  its  issues  have  remained 
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